tips for better mammogram?

[OakLeaf]

Thanks for the update. Good to hear you're getting your strength back.

[spokewench]

Red: Glad things seem to be getting better and better. I know it is hard to have patience, but you seem to be doing okay that way too. Hang in there - I'm always thinking of you.

spoke

[redrhodie]

I do see improvement, but I'm still so slow. Crankin, I know you'll be okay with riding easy for me, so we can make plans. I will make you see how strong and fast you are!

Last Sat, we had a woman on our group who I didn't know, who is a racer and is starting a women's ride from my lbs. She asked me how I was and I said nervous because I wouldn't be able to keep up. She kind of gave one of those upbeat you'll do great! answers that perky cheerleader types give, and I found it so annoying, as I got dropped in the first few feet. She didn't know me or that I'm fighting cancer, so I shouldn't take it out on her, but it bothered me. Bah. I used to be perky. I think I'm jealous.

But it is getting better. If the only thing I can complain about is not keeping up on the bike, things are great.

[Crankin]

I hate those perky types, too. Also, the ones who say, "You'll be fine," but really don't want to help anyone who is struggling for whatever reason. They just want their own work out. I saw that today at the gym. I guess I've always been attuned to teaching beginners, whether it was in a class or on the bike, even when I was at my super fastest/fittest. Personally, I don't care.
I will PM you.

[redrhodie]

Sorry I haven't been around for a while. My mild depression turned into depression after my last post. It was awful. I felt so bad one day, as bad as the day my mother died, that I called my oncologist for help, since I figured it was the tamoxifen wreaking havoc on my hormones. She claimed it wasn't a common SE of tamoxifen (which is contrary to everything I've read). She suggested I go to my GP for an antidepressant. I mentioned that I read that many antidepressants interfere with tamoxifen. She said "Oh, yeah" in that way that people do when they forget something they used to know, but then she stated that the jury is still out on that. I'm pretty sure she's wrong about that (or the American Cancer Society is). So, I said I didn't trust my NP to prescribe antidepressants, and did she have other suggestions? Yoga was all she could think of.

In hindsight, she should have recommended a support group, or a psychiatrist, someone trained to deal with this, someone really qualified to prescribe drugs if that was really what I needed. I wasn't able to think of these options myself at the time, but shouldn't she have been? And now it's been a couple of weeks, and she hasn't followed up which further makes me think she's a bad doctor. I've lost faith in her. I'll be finding someone new.

On the bright side, the depression went away without drugs, cycling and massage helped, but I think my body just needed to adapt to the drug. I'm still losing weight, have joint pain, my hair is brittle, but no other SE's. I am back to feeling very lucky for my life. And, I rode fast and fearlessly on the last group ride. I didn't get dropped or anything. Yay me. ;)

I am sure the depression was related to the tamoxifen, and adjusting to the drug has been the hardest part of my treatment. I still feel lucky it's an option for me. But this part was hard.

[OakLeaf]

Hang in there Red. Thanks for the update. Hope you find a doctor you trust.

And yay you for riding ... living ... so strong!

[Crankin]

Keep riding, Red.

[indysteel]

(((Red))). I'm so sorry you've been feeling blue. I sure hope you find another doctor who can help you sort this out, although it sounds like you're already feeling better. Keep on keepin' on. You remain one of heroes!

[Blueberry]

((((((red)))))))

You are still an inspiration. Thank you for sharing - the good, and the bad. Let us be here for you, and know that your words will likely help someone who is going through something similar in the future.

Continue to be gentle to yourself - and ride like the wind when you feel like it!

[redrhodie]

Thanks guys. Ride I will! Especially since I'm getting stronger, it's really helped my mood. But, feeling weak and tired was also part of the problem, so depressing.

The other thing that really helped was being around people, which was the best advice I received. My friends gave me lots of hugs through this. I think that was most important, actually. Hug therapy. Is there such a thing? It really made me feel better.

[marni]

I am sure the depression was related to the tamoxifen, and adjusting to the drug has been the hardest part of my treatment. I still feel lucky it's an option for me. But this part was hard.

I have to agree with you. Tamoxifen did a whole depression number on me in spite of having been on anti depressants for many years. A year later I am still coping with the hot flashes and an occasional two or three day cycle of depression. At least I know now what the symptoms are and how to deal with them. My doctor was a bit more helpful than yours and was very patient with listening to me whine and complain, to reassure me that it was side effects of tamoxifen, to support exercise with a purpose, and keep a good eye on my diet including limiting but not totally, consumption of dairy, sugar and processed flour and anything not full grain.

It has helped, especially training for a purpose rather than just for exercise. I put getting myself back to full strength and endurance a priority

Glad your downer went away and hope you are soon back to your normal self. Tamoxifen is not fun but not undoable considering the alternatives.

hang in there.

marni

[redrhodie]

Thank you for that, marni. It helps knowing this was something you experienced, too.

I think I may keep my next appt. with that doctor so I can give her some feedback. She's young, and if I just leave, she won't know why. I may call the breast center nurse and discuss it with her as well.

[malkin]

It's good to hear from you ((red)).


Hug therapy sounds brilliant! I think you should write a book about it and then go on a book tour that visits all the places where TE people are and you could ride with each of us. And then you could write your next book about that!

[emily_in_nc]

Glad you are feeling better, red! :)

Depression sucks -- whatever the cause. Sad when the doc can't be helpful. I agree, fire her and find someone who gives a sh*t! :mad:

Nice to have you back. Sending a virtual {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}}}} your way!

[shootingstar]

Wow, red. Hang in there, girl. Keep riding ..no matter how slow. You're still on the bike. Just imagine you most likely are going faster than a jogger.

{{{{{Big hugs}}}}}}

My deepest respect for marni and red, who have been through these drug effects, etc.

[goldfinch]

Thank you for that, marni. It helps knowing this was something you experienced, too.

I think I may keep my next appt. with that doctor so I can give her some feedback. She's young, and if I just leave, she won't know why. I may call the breast center nurse and discuss it with her as well.

I think it is so great that you are willing to do this. It is hard for professionals to get this kind of feedback. Instead, patients/clients/customers just leave.

I am glad you are doing better.

[szsz]

Count me among those who experienced the blues after all the active aspects of treatment (surgeries / followups) was complete. I didn't connect it to the Tamoxifen -- but that makes sense. I was in a support group at the time and the facilitator assured me that it was common to feel down after all the treatment ends and it starts to sink in that this is my life now going forward after breast cancer. I also had a reasonable amount of pain every day from the surgeries and hot flashes as well. Others in the group suggested effexor, which can be taken with Tamoxifen and has the added benefit of eliminating hot flashes. I don't love that I am taking it, but it helped immensely and I am back to my happy self. I'll go off the effexor eventually; for now I am just enjoying the even keel.

(As for diet, I was vegan before I was diagnosed [still am] I eat well and I exercise strenuously 4 to 5 x /week.)

[redrhodie]

My six month mammogram is tomorrow. I'm pretty calm right now, but expect to be a bundle of nerves in the morning. I'm going to try to stay relaxed and stay present.

Otherwise, things have gotten much better. I started meditation a while back, and it's really helping me stay balanced. I am going really easy on myself, saying no to stressful situations whenever I can. I haven't done any hard riding in a long time, and my mileage is maybe 25% less than other years, slower, and less hilly. It's been perfect. I love riding.

I have very few SE's from the tamoxifen anymore. I feel good.

Give me some good vibes tomorrow!

[indysteel]

Sending you lots of good vibes, Red. I'm glad you've employed such constructive methods to help you heal, emotionally and physically. You're a wise lady. Let us know how it goes.

[malkin]

Sending good thoughts your way!

[SpeedyChix]

Stay mellow, relaxed and as you noted, in the moment. No needless energy wasted.
Glad you're finding your way post-treatment. Hugs for tomorrow

[OakLeaf]

Hang in there red. Sending lots of positive vibes for calm and a good result.

[Crankin]

Good luck, Red. Thinking of you.

[pll]

Best wishes Red!

[redrhodie]

Thanks everyone! It went well! All clear! I wasn't nervous until I was waiting for the results. Luckily they read them right then, so only about 15 minutes of sweating. Now I'm going to relax.

[indysteel]

That's great news! I'm doing a happy dance in your honor, Red.

[OakLeaf]

Woohoo! So happy for you. :)

[emily_in_nc]

That's great news, red. What a relief it must be. Celebrate! :p

[Crankin]

Go for a ride!

[sookiesue]

Hooray!

[lph]

Fantastic :)

[redrhodie]

Hi Everyone!

Haven't been around in a while, but just thought I'd let you know it's been 5 years since I finished treatment!

No longer riding. I got obsessed with learning guitar and now I'm writing songs and recording an album (self produced). Boy, have things changed! I look back on this crazy journey with amazement and joy. I can't believe how my path led me to this completely unforeseen, beautiful, creative place.

So, to anyone going through hard times, know that things can and will change. You will be stronger from the hills on your ride. Remember to enjoy the downhill!

Lynn

[ny biker]

Wow, how exciting! Thanks for checking in. I'm glad you're doing well.

What style of music are you playing? I found some great old guitar cds last summer, one from Django Reinhart and one from Les Paul and Chet Atkins. And I've long enjoyed blues guitar as well as the rock guitarists inspired by it. It's a great instrument, and can be used for such a variety of sounds.

[lph]

Oh my goodness! Red! I'm "never" here anymore, but happened to see this. I've taken up guitar too, since our son left the nest, and I'm having a blast :-D I have my hands full just trying to learn the basics, but it's sooo much fun to be able to play songs I know even in a simplified version. I would love to hear some of your stuff, if you feel like sharing. I'm on Soundcloud btw.

And congratulations with the treatment done!

[redrhodie]

https://soundcloud.com/user-468459034/animal-farm-rough

Here's a new song. It's called Animal Farm. I'm on guitar and singing, and my bf is on synthesizer. We're calling ourselves Faraway my Lovely. So this is what I've been up to!

[Crankin]

Hi Red, glad to see you here. Congrats on completing your treatment and your new venture. As someone who has no musical talent, I am amazed.
And, if you ever get the urge, I'd still love to meet up and ride with you...

[redrhodie]

[QUOTE=ny biker;716372]Wow, how exciting! Thanks for checking in. I'm glad you're doing well.

What style of music are you playing? I found some great old guitar cds last summer, one from Django Reinhart and one from Les Paul and Chet Atkins. And I've long enjoyed blues guitar as well as the rock guitarists inspired by it. It's a great instrument, and can be used for such a variety of sounds.[/QUOTE

[redrhodie]

Nice to see you guys! Rebecca, stay strong. I posted this update because of your thread.

NY, I guess the music is Indy? Dave calls it space rock, and some of it is more psychedelic, but a lot of the songs are kind of retro pop. I watched a bunch of Chet Atkins videos on YouTube when I was starting out. I love his guitar.

lph, so funny that your playing, too! We should start a music thread! I'd love to hear you. Can you send me a link? I'm new to soundcloud.

[lph]

Red, I loved it. Beautiful sound. Spotless guitar playing. Nicely mixed, I couldn't hear the lyrics clearly but your singing is really good.

I'm not brave enough to post a link publicly because I'm still very much thrashing around in a beginnerish fashion, but I'll send you a pm :-) (Those of you who know my full name can find me on SC, I actually have two profiles without knowing why). Picking up a instrument for the first time at age 46 is certainly interesting, but not the most efficient way to learn.

[Helene2013]

I'm very happy to read that you pulled this one out and it's been 5 years. What a relief!

I'd like to play electric guitar. Keep telling my husband I think it will be one of my many projects when we retire in 4 years. haha

Going for bilateral mammo tonight (our government plan covers a free mammo every 2 years once you reach 50 and it is an optional program but you get a thorough followup if something comes up). Always stressful to get through those. I don't find them painful at all, but it is NOT my favorite type of breast manipulation for sure. haha And I hate that I always end up having to go for the focal "spot" compression and then ending up in ultrasound because a spot is never clear enough. Why can't we go straight to ultrasound!

The first time I was almost freaking out by the process as you always fear the worst when you have to go back for further testing. First time it was the right breast and it was just fluid pockets. Relief! Radiologist even took the time to show me that every women has those and did the ultrasound on the other breast to show me he would find some.

The 2nd time it was the other breast and it seemed to take forever for the radiologist to go through that ultrasound. Nerve wrecking but she wanted to clear everything. She was pressing and poking her ultrasound remote on that breast so hard and it was finally nothing. I could see the monitor but it says nothing to me just black and white mix of things. haha All is good and she said see you in 2 years! Which is time now.

But I do have once in a while "pain" in the left breast and it goes away. mostly cyclic thing and I'm menopaused for the past 2 years now. I don't feel any lumps or anything different. I did have breast reduction in December 2010 and since then, my breasts are more tender and "itchy" inside once in a while. Even part of them are permanently numbed. I guess being cut and poked inside takes its toll on them too. I used to have very sensitive breasts when I had my periods. And I suppose some things don't change, even with menstruation done and over with.

TBC.. Anyway...regular mammo tonight and expecting to have to go back for further testing. Just hoping it will be done and over with and good for 2 years!

[redrhodie]

Can't post much right now cuz I'm supposed to be working, but lph, I loved your song! I'm going to listen to it through my stereo when I get home. You should make it public. It's really great!

[Trek420]

One day at medical imaging:

I've been remiss, I've been bad, forgive me sisters, it'd been nearly two years since my last confession oops I meant mammogram. So I made an appt. Knott and I drove down, thought we'd make a weekend day of it. I'd get my bqqbs squished and then lunch. Yes, we lead such exciting lives!

We showed up, deposited Knott in the waiting room and I checked in. Soon my squishing tech appeared, she took me in back to the room I'd normally be changing in and sternly announced:

"I can't see you. You need a diagnostic mammogram. We don't do those here and you'll need to make an appointment. No, you can't do those on a weekend. I doubt we can make an appointment for those here. You need to call right away. You have not had a mammogram since 01/??/12 (a date I later realized I was not even in Seattle yet) and at that time we recommended a diagnostic one. So you need to call right away"

I was kinda ticked. Here I was on a Saturday, she's saying I need this other thing and I'll have to use a day off since it's Monday through Friday. Oh well. So I go back out and ask the gal at the desk if I can make an appointment for a diagnostic and she says no, with a very sad sympathetic look, I'll have to call. But I can do that first thing Monday. That's when Knott walks up and asks what's going on.

I explain and she turns white as a sheet.

Diagnostic mammograms as she knew, and I did not till that moment, are what is done when they've found something and need to figure out what to cut. It's a major deal usually also involving MRI. So Knott shakily starts to drive home while, I'm logging into my chart online (can get my medical records online) and pulling up the imaging department. And although it's been over a year all my mammograms are "looks fine. See you next year" "looks fine. See you next year" "looks fine. See you next year" "looks fine. See you next year" .... And I've seen a doctor several times since my last screening and one could think if they'd found signs of cancer my doc would say "enough about the bronchitis, let's take care of this urgent thing."

Nothing there either.

So we both calm down and figure the tech was actually looking at someone else's chart while talking to me (which is very very bad thing although I laugh it off since I don't know who that person is so no privacy issue) or something equally inept. But seems that's a big no no. So when we get home, after lunch and a couple beers, I call and then write my doctor. On Monday morning I get a response from her, something like "Ooops, our bad. Sorry that you thought you were gonna die and yes you can make a regular appointment."

When I went back in it was the royal treatment: the front desk, the tech, everybody apologizing, here, have some chocolate, have some more chocolate, here's a Starbucks card, let us pay for your parking .... I'm just glad to not actually have cancer at this time. Much support and sympathy to those fighting it.

[Crankin]

Oy vey

[withm]

Having been through all of this the hard way, all I can say is don't skip your mammograms. They may be a pain but they are a piece of cake compared to surgery, chemo, radiation, and the countless and permanent side effects.

[Helene2013]

That's why I go...even if I think every single woman hates them. The sooner something is detected (if there is something), the better your outcome will be. I'd hoped!

[Catrin]

I agree, don't skip mammograms. I WILL say, however, that I get diagnostic mammograms about every 3 years or so because I get cysts that come and go and periodically they want to take a closer look to make certain it isn't a baddie - and yes, sometimes ultrasounds are involved. Here one year, gone the next couple of years, etc. So far so good, but I make very certain to not miss and go to the same facility each year as they have all my records - and is the only place where they have NEVER hurt my boobies in the process. Mine are large and dense which makes false positives more likely.

Very glad it turned out this time, may it always be so!

[Pax]

Dang, Trek, that sucks. The whole "oops our bad" doesn't really make up for the gut clenching fear.

A couple of weeks after I had my reduction I got a phone message late on a Friday afternoon (of course), saying "they found something unusual in your biopsy, it's called focal ductal hyperplasia" give us a call back. This was late 90's, before I had internet access, so I got to be scared all weekend while trying to find what she was talking about in reference books at the library. I know they do this for a living and it's no big deal TO THEM, but it can be terrifying for us.

[shootingstar]

Hi Everyone!

Haven't been around in a while, but just thought I'd let you know it's been 5 years since I finished treatment!

No longer riding. I got obsessed with learning guitar and now I'm writing songs and recording an album (self produced). Boy, have things changed! I look back on this crazy journey with amazement and joy. I can't believe how my path led me to this completely unforeseen, beautiful, creative place.

So, to anyone going through hard times, know that things can and will change. You will be stronger from the hills on your ride. Remember to enjoy the downhill!

Lynn

Good to hear from you red! :)

[Trek420]

Dang, Trek, that sucks. The whole "oops our bad" doesn't really make up for the gut clenching fear.

Yeah but I got chocolate, free parking and Starbucks.

Cancer sucks. My dad, grandpa and aunt died of it. Another aunt, grandma and KnottedYet survived. I will never miss another!

[Helene2013]

My mammo is done. No pain, no discomfort whatsover. I even told the tech she could squeeze even more if needed. :) I did take a Tylenol an hour before.

She did mention that my breasts were not dense at all. She showed me the pic from 2015 and she explained what it looked like. I could not see for 2017 as they were already sent (via system) to the lab. But she said that definitively, my breast is not dense but mostly fatty. Great...I'm fat. hahaaha

When I was dressing up, I told her "see you for the "spot" compression in a few days and she said it is not often people go back for more testing. Only if the radiologist wants to investigate more because he can't clearly see through something and he wants to make sure all is covered and avoid any doubts. Well...in my case I had to go up to ultrasounds both times, a different breast. But she said it is not often and this time, it may be just fine with a standard mammo and back in 2 years. We'll see! :) Crossing fingers it is the case. Why is it we rather go through other tougher things in life then wait for mammo results!!!

[redrhodie]

Yay Helene! Glad that turned out well!

I just went to my oncologist this morning, and only have to go once a year now, and don't need to see the radiation oncologist ever again! I was going to both twice a year.
The reason I still see the oncologist is that I'm staying on tamoxifen for 5 more years. Initially I was supposed to be on it for 5 years, but studies have shown a benefit to staying on 10 years. Since I've had no side effects from it, I elected to stay on.

[Helene2013]

Just got the good news in the mail (and my doctor gets the report as well). No need to go back for 2 years. The report said there is a benign lesion with no sign of cancer and does not require any follow up. Next mammo in 2 years. They keep the info on file for references.

I am still going to call my doctor as I want to know what the report says in more details. She probably gets something else than the letter I got. I want to know which breast (or is it the 2) so I can pay attention if I ever see any changes in the next 2 years.

[emily_in_nc]

That's great news, Helene! I am sure you are relieved!

[redrhodie]

That's great!
That was a pretty long wait. You must be relieved,

Sent from my BLU LIFE ONE X using Tapatalk

[Crankin]

Nice news, Helene.
I have to call to register for mine in May.

[Catrin]

Congratulations Helene! I have my next one at the end of April.