Passages

[Pax]

My recent camping trip gave me pause, it allowed me to look at many of the things I've "always done" in a new light. Seem I'm still doing things that are no longer all that much fun... just because they are things I do. Never gave it much thought before, if I don't enjoy those things why am I still doing them??

This isn't a "how can I still do these things if I can just modify them to work" thread, it's more of a letting go of un-fun things and seeking new paths. So, first things on the "done" pile...

Camping - done. Sell off the gear and hotel it, may still consider an RV.

Scuba - mostly done. Sell off the gear and stick with snorkeling most of the time, the exception may be lobster season in the Keys.

Bicycling - Mostly done. Just keep the 40 year old Schwinn for little rides around the neighborhood.

Motorcycling - done. Sell off the gear, keep the scooter for two wheeled fun.

Life is cyclical, maybe some of these things will come around again; but then again, maybe by making some room for new interests I might go in a whole new direction.


So, what have you got to toss on the pile??

[Crankin]

I tossed the gym into my pile after 25 years, in 2008. I managed to stay very fit without it, but now I am feeling the need for some structured exercise. I am going to investigate a different kind of place, that does personal training and has spin classes/yoga in the winter. I happened to see one of the instructors I know from my old gym who now teaches there and it is a different kind of atmosphere. I think this is what I need in the winter, to augment my outdoor stuff.

[Pax]

Crankin - isn't it interesting the way our lives evolve??


We see our lives as taking two possible forks in the next five years, so much of what we do will hinge on which path we take.

Path One: We are going to Key West for a few months starting next Spring, if we love it then we'll move there. Pay is really bad in the Keys so it'll be one of those enjoy-what-you've-got places to live.

Path Two: Decide KW isn't for us long term, come home, go back to my job. Look for an RV and travel like crazy every minute we get. Retire at 55 (the soonest I can draw a pension at my job), hit the road and workkamp around the country.

[Velocivixen]

Sounds like you are making a "mid-course correction". I have an am currently doing that. It is so fine to let go, refresh, start anew.

[roadie gal]

Funny, I was thinking about this just recently.

After 5-6 years of training for triathlons I've given myself a break this summer. I've only been on my bike about 4 times. I just haven't felt like riding. I've been out hiking a bunch and I've been on my new paddle board, so I haven't been sitting around. But I just don't feel like biking. I figure it will come around again, maybe next year, maybe the next. No pressure.

The more you push yourself to do something you don't enjoy the more you'll end up hating it.

[OakLeaf]

I'm kind of doing the opposite - regretting things that got left by the wayside over the years. Music. Writing. I want them back, but there's so much emotion between me and that place now. :(

[shootingstar]

Oak, hope you'll get back to either music or writing at some point. It might come back --transformed. Maybe a new instrument or whatever.

Writing- I abandoned this a few years after university. Then returned to it 25+ years in the form of....blogging. Now am in overdrive...writing for 4 blogs, of which am blogmaster for 3. (I have a full-time paid job outside of blogging also.)

Sewing- Abandoned since I got back into cycling. Gave away a whole box of fabric to friends and family. But kept my sewing machine...handy for doing alterations.

Cross-country skiing- I was never good at this. Dropped over 15 yrs. ago. But haven't given away skis yet.

Painting- Temporarily abandoned for last 4 yrs. But haven't tossed out new art supplies, new canvasses yet. For now, it's been replaced by photography which is used for blogging.

So it takes me a LOOOOOOG time to abandon anything forever. Because I see cycling as a long-term passion but not forever at the same intensity because there will be a point in life, several decades away where I will return to some of these activities more regularily because I won't be able to cycle for many hrs. / kms.

So I see all my other passions as insurance for me...to remain balanced, give me happy other options if cycling passion changes abit. :)
For now, cycling feeds my blog writing and photography which helps keep my creative fingers active in a way.

Whew, what an explanation.

[goldfinch]

Camping - done. Sell off the gear and hotel it, may still consider an RV.



We quit the camping and bought an RV. Now I live in the RV most of the year.


Bicycling - Mostly done. Just keep the 40 year old Schwinn for little rides around the neighborhood. Bicycling is new for me, I've only been back biking in the last few months. I hope I can do it for many years. I wonder though because I have shoulder and neck issues. But my fall back will be a trike. Maybe an nice full suspension ICE.


Motorcycling - done. Sell off the gear, keep the scooter for two wheeled fun. Did exactly the same thing. Now I am questioning whether to even keep the scooter. My spouse wants to sell his and we will keep only one on the back on the motorhome for tooling around on. But one seems kind of pointless.


Life is cyclical, maybe some of these things will come around again; but then again, maybe by making some room for new interests I might go in a whole new direction.


So, what have you got to toss on the pile??

My home. Nearly two years ago we sold our house and now RV most of the time, though we do have a home base in my grandfather's old farmhouse near where we used to live. I often miss my home. I miss my flower gardens. I miss putzing around in the yard and house and making things look nice. But in return I have enjoyed the adventure and really have not missed at all being away from northern Minnesota in winter and winter is very, very long . :)

Rescuing my niece. When I went to traveling much of the year my niece no longer has me for hand holding, a chauffeur, and as a several day a week babysitter. I still suffer guilt but she has to learn to be independent despite her struggles. :( Or, she needs to give up her child. And I have the right to do the things I saved in life to be able to do, like travel. This choice is a struggle for me.

Music. I no longer have a piano. One doesn't quite fit in the rv. When we sold the house I sold my piano. I miss it, even though I am not much of a player.

[emily_in_nc]

Mountain biking. It was fun, but I didn't love it enough to learn the technical stuff, and I hated having to drive to rides.

Sewing. My machine and related gear is in storage at my mom's. Just can't take everything to Belize, and wouldn't have the space for it in our 1BR condo there.

Gardening. When we sold our house on 11 acres in 2010 and moved to an apartment without a balcony, that went by the wayside. Now I enjoy seeing other people's beautiful flowers as I walk/bike by, and buying veggies at the farmer's market without all the work.

Kayaking. This is one I regret. We sold the kayaks when we moved to the apartment. Now we want kayaks again in Belize, so will probably be buying some, though with the much warmer water there and inability to store them inside to guard against theft, we'll likely buy different types (inexpensive sit on tops, instead of the pricier touring models we had before).

Soon:

Road cycling. This one will be hard, but where we'll be living is all sand (roads and beach) and cobblestone streets. It's flat as a pancake and a seaside environment (harsh on bikes, gears, etc.), so wouldn't work to take our road bikes. We have shipped aluminum beach cruisers down and will enjoy riding those, but the Bike Fridays will be stored at my mom's house for trips back and/or for when/if we move back to the US one day.

Interesting thread!

[redrhodie]

I can't say "done" with finality for any of these, but here they are: knitting, yoga, rock climbing, ballet. Okay, rock climbing was done the second I saw the guy next to me fall 30 ft and hit his head, but the rest of it, maybe someday, maybe not; it's okay either way.

[PamNY]

Interesting thread.

The biggest changes I've made lately are social. I've cut out lots of parties that I don't really enjoy and superficial friends who will never be more than superficial.

It's not a simple matter since my SO loves all these things, but so far having more separation in our social lives is okay, though I do get tired of explaining it.

I've also given up doing lots of things because a friend wants me to -- shopping is one example. It simply isn't a social activity.

Sewing is questionable -- I Freecycled a lot of fabric, but not all of it. I doubt I will ever give up sewing completely, but I certainly do less of it.

I'm still pretending that I will go scuba diving again -- but we will see. My SO was a superb dive buddy, but he's no longer interested. I don't even know if I would enjoy it with someone else, but who knows. I despise snorkeling, so I sort of have to dive to enjoy myself.

Camping I will never give up until absolutely forced to by some disability.

[Owlie]

Music: I used to play the piano, but that fell by the wayside a long time ago. I played the viola for 8 years (5th grade until I finished high school), but once I went to college I didn't have the time to play in a group or the discipline to play by myself. Also, sheet music is relatively expensive. My viola's still in my room at my parents'. I'm not quite ready to give up on it yet. I should probably take it out and at least tune it...

Drawing: Again, something I did a lot of in high school but didn't really continue in college, save doodling in margins of notebooks. My sister appropriated most of my supplies. I've got a nice set of pencils and a fresh sketchpad left in my desk that I can't bring myself to get rid of.

Reading for fun, at any rate. I just gave away a bunch of books that I've been meaning to read but never got around to it.

[PamNY]

Reading for fun, at any rate. I just gave away a bunch of books that I've been meaning to read but never got around to it.

Oh, I forgot giving away books. I had so many that I had planned to read, but I realized my interests have changed. So out they went! It felt good to make the realization and act on it!

[RubyTuesday]

I am new to bicycling and I better not put it in the "done" pile or my husband will kill me. I spent a fortune on my bike.

Kayaking: sort of done. I still love it when it is a new location, but I am done with all of the packing up and unpacking to go to places I have visited millions of times.

Disc Golf: No way done, I love it.

Geocaching: done. It was fun while it lasted, but I am over it.

I love doing new activities and getting addicted to them.

[Pax]

Oh, I forgot giving away books. I had so many that I had planned to read, but I realized my interests have changed. So out they went! It felt good to make the realization and act on it!

We're planning to put our house up for sale in the Spring so we've been lightening the load. Every time we take a bag of donations to Goodwill/Salvation Army/Habitat it feels so freeing. I've loved my "stuff" but it sure feels better to have less of it.

BTW, both motorcycles sold yesterday!!! http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb217/Deepliquid/Smilies/clap.gif

[macski]

Interesting thread.

Competitive ballroom dancing and medal competitions. Enjoyed it when I did it but wouldnt go back. My SO keeps suggesting that one day we should go back to some classes (he's a beginner) and I would like that but for now it doesn't work because he does shift work.

Beading - it was a short-lived hobby.

Bushwalking (I think in the US you would call it hiking) and camping - now my idea of camping out is staying at the Hilton.

But I still enjoy kayaking and want to do even more cycling. I'd also like to still keep up the downhill skiing although do more cross country and snow shoeing here in Australia.

[Pax]

I've been thinking about this and have realized the one thing I've given up that I truly miss is kayaking. Think I need to remedy that.

[spokewench]

We've (hubby and I) been doing this for a while - evolving our lives. I think they call it "Aging Well".

Things change but passion for life remains!

For the most part, I put the bikes away about 4-5 years ago, took up tennis instead. Hubby, put the bikes away to a smaller extent, but no racing, no training, no pressure to ride about 5 years ago. He took up his old youth time past time, motorcyles and bought a road motor and a dirt motor.

I bought a real cheap scooter to see if I liked it and then bought a bit more powerful one so that I can ride to work, run errands, etc.

I still garden (hope I never have to give this one up). It connects me with the natural world so I don't want to give it up.

I have always tried to donate time and effort to community; but those passions have evolved as well. First I was on the bicycle advisory committee for the city; second I donated a bunch of time to captain bike teams, lead women's weekly rides, help with a bicycle club in town on the board, putting on races, etc.; third I was on the parks & rec committee for the city. I moved off the bike teams, out of the bike world, off the parks & rec committee, finally in the last month off the bike advisory committee. I started tennis, got involved in organizing play time with the ladies in town; captained league tennis teams. Now, I'm on the USTA district tennis board, went to help work the adult tennis sectionals in our section this weekend, am taking on a new job as district league coordinator for competitive tennis.

So, yes, we evolve and move our interests, but our passion remains!

[rubysoho]

*Competitive horseback riding. Which for now means all horseback riding. I can't start up without feeling that "itch" and since I currently don't have time/energy to do what I want to do I only frustrate myself.

*Quilting - another one where I just don't have the time.

*Art - time again. :rolleyes: Though I still pick up materials and have completed two pencil drawings this year. I wish I could get back to working with glass but I need some serious kiln space and pottery kiln people don't share with glass kiln people (some of the material in the kiln process for glass can shatter the pottery/porceline).

The swap for not participating in the above has allowed me to explore the local hiking scene as well as cycling and running. All of which I am enjoying.

[goldfinch]

I've been thinking about this and have realized the one thing I've given up that I truly miss is kayaking. Think I need to remedy that.

Pax, I live in a motorhome and I like to kayak. I got an inflatable kayak that I can store in the bins. This is no toy, it is tough and works well on rivers and small lakes. It is vulnerable to wind, otherwise I like it a lot. The one I got is made by SeaEagle. http://www.seaeagle.com/SportKayaks.aspx?hullID=SE370

[Pax]

Pax, I live in a motorhome and I like to kayak. I got an inflatable kayak that I can store in the bins. This is no toy, it is tough and works well on rivers and small lakes. It is vulnerable to wind, otherwise I like it a lot. The one I got is made by SeaEagle. http://www.seaeagle.com/SportKayaks.aspx?hullID=SE370

Thanks for the link goldfinch! If we end up RVing I would definitely consider one of those.

[goldfinch]

Thanks for the link goldfinch! If we end up RVing I would definitely consider one of those.

If you get it get the Pro package. The seats are substantially better. Plus, they make nice beach chairs. :)

[Miranda]

We're planning to put our house up for sale in the Spring so we've been lightening the load. Every time we take a bag of donations to Goodwill/Salvation Army/Habitat it feels so freeing. I've loved my "stuff" but it sure feels better to have less of it.

BTW, both motorcycles sold yesterday!!! http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb217/Deepliquid/Smilies/clap.gif

+1 to that...

I've been going thru the process of decluttering also.

I read this guy's book (excellent), and continue to read his blog also... http://brooks-palmer.blogspot.com/

[Pax]

+1 to that...

I've been going thru the process of decluttering also.

I read this guy's book (excellent), and continue to read his blog also... http://brooks-palmer.blogspot.com/
It's been an interesting journey, I am so NOT a packrat but my SO is. She realizes she's got too much stuff now so she's getting ruthless with the cleaning out, it's fun to watch. :D

We've also pulled old junk out of jewelry boxes and sent it off to a buddy of mine (a retired chemical engineer) who buys gold and silver... so far we've gotten $1600 back!!

[limewave]

Speaking of Goodwill . . .

Garage Sales DONE! Over it! Way too much hassle. I can drop everything off at Goodwill then write it off my taxes for more than I would ever be able to sell it for in my driveway.

Driving Okay, I still drive. Many moons ago I moved to the outskirts of the city where I work. I learned that everything was at least a 20 minute drive. I moved back "home." At the time, I had a 50 minute commute each way, but once I was home I never had to get in my car again. Of course, now I work from home. And we live less than a mile from the schools, daycare, post office, grocery store, bank, etc. THIS IS THE LIFE.

Drawing Hard to believe I was an art major. I used to LOVE drawing. It was my life. Now there is no time at all. I've picked up sketch pads and charcoals over the years in hopes of rekindling this hobby . . . but my passion is just not there anymore.

Hotels DONE! I much prefer my RV. Even after staying at some of the nicest hotels, I long for my RV, my own bed, my kitchen, my shower, my couch . . . Nothing like having Lake Michigan out your front door and the woods for a backyard.

[limewave]

We've also pulled old junk out of jewelry boxes and sent it off to a buddy of mine (a retired chemical engineer) who buys gold and silver... so far we've gotten $1600 back!!

I've been contemplating this. Before my grandmother passed, she gave me her wedding ring. But it was an older style, quite dated. And so she insisted (I didn't ask) that it be reset in a new band. I have this stunning ruby and diamond ring now. I LOVE IT. However, I have this giant gold band leftover. I have been contemplating selling it. DH thinks I should hang on to it--it was my grandmother's afterall. But why? There are no stones in it? I just imagine it sitting in my jewelry box until I pass.

[Pax]

I've been contemplating this. Before my grandmother passed, she gave me her wedding ring. But it was an older style, quite dated. And so she insisted (I didn't ask) that it be reset in a new band. I have this stunning ruby and diamond ring now. I LOVE IT. However, I have this giant gold band leftover. I have been contemplating selling it. DH thinks I should hang on to it--it was my grandmother's afterall. But why? There are no stones in it? I just imagine it sitting in my jewelry box until I pass.

That's where we were, neither of us even wears jewelry but we had a bunch of the stuff we'd been given as gifts over the years. My class ring hadn't been on my finger in 30 years, and I had a gold watch that belonged to some relative (I have no idea who so there's no emotional attachment). Now that money is in our escape fund for our next move.

[limewave]

I just went through my jewelry box and found my charm bracelet from 1991. the charms: Golf bag, Tennis, Trumpet, Skis, and Bicycle.

Hmmm, the only thing I still do is cycling!

[GLC1968]

See, my problem is that I still love doing all of my previous hobbies and of course I've added many more. While my time is limited, I just can't say 'done' about any of it because I do love it all.

OK, here's two:
Snowboarding? Done. I never liked it *that* much anyway. ;)
Rugby? Done. I'm too old - I just don't heal quick enough anymore.

The rest? I still want to do these things even though which ones get priority does shift from year to year...

Beading
Biking
Triathlons
Farming
Gardening
Travel
Kayaking
Skiing
Hiking
Camping
Tennis (hardly ever do this, but I love it when I do!)
Running
Baking
Canning/Dehydrating/etc
Ice skating
Photography
Reading

There are lots of things I've tried and decided that I didn't much like pretty early on (like golf) and other things that I don't want to try because I don't want to add another potentially time-consuming and expensive hobby (motorcycles) to my life.

I do have a 1972 Super Beetle in our garage in need of TLC (I bought it as a project car and never worked on it) that I really should let go. I just don't see how I'll ever have time to work on it (even though I may love doing it).

[Pax]

Rugby? Done. I'm too old - I just don't heal quick enough anymore.



Amen sister! I got invited to the Old Girls game (where the old gals play the current college team), they asked me to play!!!! I laughed really hard, smiled and said "since I have to be able to walk tomorrow I'll pass, but thanks". :D

[GLC1968]

Amen sister! I got invited to the Old Girls game (where the old gals play the current college team), they asked me to play!!!! I laughed really hard, smiled and said "since I have to be able to walk tomorrow I'll pass, but thanks". :D

LOL! I'd have done the same thing. I can't even imagine how much pain I'd be in!

[Owlie]

I need to stop trying sports. Seriously. I pick all the expensive ones. Speaking of which, I thought of another one that dropped out of my life: Fencing. I was really into it in high school and the first half of college--competitively. I was only mediocre at it because I wasn't fast enough. I ultimately ended up dropping off the team because of academic and personal reasons, and the fact that it aggravated an old ankle injury really prevented me from getting back into it. I need to find a way to get rid of my old stuff, because I doubt that I'm ever going to pick it up again.

[Pax]

I need to stop trying sports. Seriously. I pick all the expensive ones. Speaking of which, I thought of another one that dropped out of my life: Fencing. I was really into it in high school and the first half of college--competitively. I was only mediocre at it because I wasn't fast enough. I ultimately ended up dropping off the team because of academic and personal reasons, and the fact that it aggravated an old ankle injury really prevented me from getting back into it. I need to find a way to get rid of my old stuff, because I doubt that I'm ever going to pick it up again.

There should be local gear swap centers in every community, a place where we could leave our old stuff when picking up gear for the newest endeavor. ;)

[malkin]

See, my problem is that I still love doing all of my previous hobbies and of course I've added many more. While my time is limited, I just can't say 'done' about any of it because I do love it all.
...
I still want to do these things even though which ones get priority does shift from year to year...


This is pretty much my style. Maybe some day we'll go light and get rid of everything and live in someplace like those tiny IKEA demo rooms. For now we just moved and have double the square footage, so at least we can muck around in our stuff, see what's here, and think about it.

[Miranda]

It's been an interesting journey, I am so NOT a packrat but my SO is. She realizes she's got too much stuff now so she's getting ruthless with the cleaning out, it's fun to watch. :D

We've also pulled old junk out of jewelry boxes and sent it off to a buddy of mine (a retired chemical engineer) who buys gold and silver... so far we've gotten $1600 back!!

That's great! On both accounts.

Besides physical junk, other things in our life can be "clutter"... like our activities we no longer love as you say... relationships with other people... anything really- that no longer serves you today.

I've got some old gold stuff too... I said I was going to sell DH's baseball card collection and he about had a wetting accident lol... sooo that one is not quite there yet:rolleyes:.

[Pax]

Thought I'd update this thread and see where everyone else is.





We see our lives as taking two possible forks in the next five years, so much of what we do will hinge on which path we take.

Path One: We are going to Key West for a few months starting next Spring, if we love it then we'll move there. Pay is really bad in the Keys so it'll be one of those enjoy-what-you've-got places to live.

Path Two: Decide KW isn't for us long term, come home, go back to my job. Look for an RV and travel like crazy every minute we get. Retire at 55 (the soonest I can draw a pension at my job), hit the road and workkamp around the country.

These paths have shifted since my mom got sick. Once she's well mended we'll continue along with a slightly different trajectory.

The goal is still Key West, but I'm 2.5 years out from being able to retire from the university and can start drawing the tiny pension at age 55 (3.5 years), guess it makes sense to stay until then and keep saving money.

My SO changed jobs into one that may allow telecommuting in the next couple of years, that would put us in a fantastic financial position to live in the Keys, so we're keeping that around as option one! :D


How is everyone else doing??

[smilingcat]

forced into early retirement, moved to Portland Or. and loving every minute of it. I turn on the radio in the morning and listen to all the traffic congestion. Nowhere near as LA congestion, and I feel bad for those commuting while I'm thinking my goodness I'm glad I can just play with my cats and have a cup of chai tea.

[shootingstar]

I still have stuff in another city..of which some I will spend a few hrs., dumping paperwork.

And going through photo albums..to salvage, if I can some precious photos for scanning. Hmmmmm.

I can't buy more artwork. I have my own stuff that I made, store and display across 2 locations.

Limewave about your lack of motivation right now to draw...maybe this phase will go on for the next decade. And come back again when children are grown up.

I can't believe that I haven't read a novel in several years. My undergrad. degree is in English Literature. Most of the stuff I read now is non-fiction.

[Crankin]

I looked back at my original comment.
I did end up joining a gym, but not the personal training/spin place I had mentioned. I joined the cheapest gym in the area, mostly for the 5:30 AM core training/circuit training class 2X a week. Otherwise, it's not that great, not a lot of classes at times convenient for me, and the people seem cliquey, although after 5 months, they talk to me now! I used to belong to a pricey, full service health club/swim/tennis place with tons of classes. It's a case of you get what you pay for. But, I don't need something like that. I need to find something else for next fall.