How did you meet your SO?

[Jen12]

How did you all meet your significant others? I seem to be surrounded by women wherever I go lately. I'm in a profession dominated by women, for a long time I was with a running group that grew to be women only, and most of my friends are women. I just have no clue how to meet men. And since I'm dancing along the edge of 40, many men my age are already taken. There have to be some out there that are available....where are they?

[indysteel]

I met my husband through another online cycling forum. Local forum members had gotten together a time or two to socialize, but I'd never been able to join them. Brian and I talked about meeting on our own. Perhaps there was a bit of agenda to that on both our parts, but it was really intended more platonically.

He is a number of years younger than me, and frankly, I just didn't seriously consider him a possibility. But we did ultimately meet (our first meeting was postponed due to an epic flood in Central Indiana). We became friends and it eventually morphed into a relationship. I had a lot of misgivings based on our age difference, but in some ways that worked in our favor because it kept me from getting overly ga-ga(and slightly nutty) like I so often had in the past. We took it slowly, but once the fundamentals were there, it sort of took off rather quickly. We met in June of 2008 and married in February of 2010.

I was about your age when I met Brian, so I feel for where you are. The best thing I can suggest is to just do what makes you happy. Hopefully, those things will allow you to meet others who then see you at your most vibrant. There are a lot of male cyclists so that's not a bad way to go. I was never big on fix-ups, but if you have friends whose judgment you trust, it's not a bad route to pursue. I don't have anything against internet dating either; you just have to use good judgment and safe practices.

[Eden]

Can't be of much help... I met my husband at orientation in college... 21 years ago :eek:

[indysteel]

Can't be of much help... I met my husband at orientation in college... 21 years ago :eek:

You mean you totally missed out on bad fix-ups from well-intentioned but delusional friends? Lucky! Boy, I could write a book on them!

[KnottedYet]

I met mine on TE.

[Jen12]

You mean you totally missed out on bad fix-ups from well-intentioned but delusional friends? Lucky! Boy, I could write a book on them!

Hahaha...the friends who say, "You have so much in common! You're both single!" Those friends?

[indysteel]

Hahaha...the friends who say, "You have so much in common! You're both single!" Those friends?

Yep; those friends. It pays to ask a lot of questions before saying yes. Even then, it's best to keep your expectations really, really low.

@Knot: I didn't that you met Trek on TE! That's awesome! :)

[Crankin]

I met my DH at a Jewish singles softball game (I did not play) just over 32 years ago. We were married in 6 months.
And his parents said it wouldn't last...

[molliewog]

I actually met mine on a blind date :D I was set up by someone at work.

Prior to meeting my now husband, I just kept my eyes open wherever I went. You never know where you may meet someone. I also had to keep an open mind. My husband is younger than myself, something I swore would never happen!

Any other running, cycling, or other clubs of interest in your area?

[shootingstar]

I met my SO at 31 yrs. So I wasn't young fresh faced.

This was 20 years ago and we're still together.

I met him at a computer evening course. 'Course I could barely concentrate on the course. :rolleyes:

I didn't get back into cycling until 6 months later but at the time, I already wanted to return to cycling BEFORE I met him, but didn't know how to buy a bike, the bike routes.

So cycling was not top priority at all when we fell for each other.

[Becky]

DH and I met at work when I was an undergrad and he was a grad student. Our first date was a mountain bike ride, and it's still one of our favorite ways to spend time together :)

[rollinat]

I've known my DH since we were kids - was in the same class at school as his sister - but we met up again at her wedding. Sadly, her marriage did not last, but we are still going strong - in fact, better than ever - almost 18 years later.

[ny biker]

You mean you totally missed out on bad fix-ups from well-intentioned but delusional friends? Lucky! Boy, I could write a book on them!

I am 47 and never married. Not once has any of my friends tried to fix me up with anyone.

Not sure if this means there is something wrong with me or the friends...

[jessmarimba]

Not married, but met the boyfriend at a trail race that we both decided to run at the last second (it was a duathlon and a number of mountain bikers needed runners for relay teams in order to get series points).

I moved out of town a week later, but things seem to be going ok so far!

[rollinat]

I moved out of town a week later, but things seem to be going ok so far!

I moved overseas a couple of weeks after my DH and I met (again) - didn't do us any harm!

[Marquise]

My husband bought his daughter a horse, which was too much for her to handle, so he started riding. My good friend had a horse in the same barn and one night he asked if he could watch her ride. They chatted and when he said he couldn't find any good women to date (after she'd made it clear she was attached), she thought of me and grilled him to see if he liked things I like. She told me everything she knew about him and said she'd tell him about me and give him my e-mail if I wanted. He sent me a message in which he expressed himself well (important to me), we spoke on the phone, and made a date. We hit if off that first night. We had a lot of common likes even before I discovered I love cycling.

That was the one and only time a friend offered to set me up with a guy. She's a real networker and much more extroverted than me. She met her new love through another friend. The few single guys I know have too many negatives for me to want to set them up with my friends. I tried to open myself up to more possibilities and put out feelers as I got older but it can be frustratingly hard to meet someone. Good luck!

[indysteel]

I am 47 and never married. Not once has any of my friends tried to fix me up with anyone.

Not sure if this means there is something wrong with me or the friends...

Count yourself lucky. While it can sometimes work out, it can also lead to plenty of awkwardness because your friend is sort of in the middle of it.
I've actually never tried to fix someone up.

[shootingstar]

If I may relay, some experiences of sisters:

Sister 1- met her husband at a university fitness club. They were both joggers.

Sister 2 - met her hubby at a local runnning club.

Would I be interested in hooking with another guy after dearie (he is 16 yrs. older. than I)? Probably not. 'Cause I just think I'm a one-guy kind of woman. Is that awful? No, it probably helps alot I found love at 31 because prior, it allowed me to become comfortable with myself by doing and enjoying stuff alone too.

[TsPoet]

I announced when I was 12 (apparently, I don't remember) that I was never going to be part of a "couple", that the whole concept was stupid. I put it a little more eloquently when I was 25 and carefully explained to my mother that I didn't understand the need for an SO, that I had my life my way, that I loved the things I did and never had to compromise, etc. She shook her head and said that I'd said that when I was 12 and she was hoping I'd "grow up". Oh well.

I'm 44 now and living with a wonderful man whom I adore, but not a day goes by that I don't have to remind myself that I adore him and I'm happy, that the old single days weren't as necessary to my happiness as I'd thought and to relax.

I met him on-line. I wonder if the statistics about the number of relationships that start on line on whatever TV add that is aren't true. But, it wasn't a dating site, it was a cycling site. I never noticed him particularly on-line but when I got a PM from Zyzzyx, I recognized that I'd seen posts by him/her. He said he was moving and I'd said something in one of my posts that made him think I might live in the area, and could I show him places to ride?
That was 4 years ago. We've been friends every since and "together" just over a year.
So, I think that's 3 of us who have answered that we've met our SOs on-line. But, not on dating sites.

[indysteel]

I thought this when I was single and I think this now. It takes some work to be happy. Maybe for some it comes relatively easy, but I had to work at putting a fulfilling life together--between work, friends, hobbies, volunteering, etc. It didn't happen out of complacency. As a newly married person, it's not all that different now. My husband doesn't fulfill every aspect of my life, and I still feel the need for diverse interests and a variety of relationships. If anything, I think it's sometimes harder to do that as a married person because your time is not entirely your own. So, my point is that as much as I understand the desire and need for emotional and physical intimacy, I think you put yourself well ahead of the game if you simply make a habit of trying to live a happy and fulfilling life. Keep your heart and mind open to new people and new experiences and hopefully you will find what you need in the process.

ETA: the above isn't to suggest that the OP isn't happy or fulfilled as a single person. I just wanted to share my thoughts about my own time as a late thirty-something single woman. I got a lot of advice when I was single of the "you'll meet somebody someday" variety. I always cringed when I heard it because i didn't want to live like I was in some indefinite holding pattern. I wanted to live in the now. I tried to make the most of being single and, especially as I neared forty, I felt like I finally did.

[ridenread]

I also met my husband online when I was 36 and happily single. We emailed and instant messaged each other for about two months before we actually met in person. We met in October, were engaged in February and married in August. We will be celebrating our 12th anniversary at a baseball game at Fenway Park this year!

[Crankin]

Good, someone else met and married their SO almost as quickly as I did!
I wasn't that old when I met DH (25), but I was already divorced. I had had one serious relationship in between, with a couple of not so serious ones. I definitely did not want to be single, but I was enjoying my life, not sitting waiting around. It was the late 70's, so I spent a lot of time in discos and bars, as well as doing some things I didn't do in college (like going to ASU football games), because I was with jerky DH #1. Truthfully, I don't like being alone. I do stuff by myself and actually enjoy some solitude, but I would not like to not have a partner. I often think that if DH dies before me (even though he is 3 years younger), I probably wouldn't marry again, but I would want to find someone to share my life with.
It would have to be a cyclist, of course.

[Veronica]

I was 11, he was 12, local swimming hole. He loved my white terry cloth bikini - it was 1978.

We didn't start dating until I was a sophomore and he was a junior in high school. Married after my freshman year of college, celebrated our 25th anniversary this June.

Veronica

[indysteel]

Good, someone else met and married their SO almost as quickly as I did!
I wasn't that old when I met DH (25), but I was already divorced. I had had one serious relationship in between, with a couple of not so serious ones. I definitely did not want to be single, but I was enjoying my life, not sitting waiting around. It was the late 70's, so I spent a lot of time in discos and bars, as well as doing some things I didn't do in college (like going to ASU football games), because I was with jerky DH #1. Truthfully, I don't like being alone. I do stuff by myself and actually enjoy some solitude, but I would not like to not have a partner. I often think that if DH dies before me (even though he is 3 years younger), I probably wouldn't marry again, but I would want to find someone to share my life with.
It would have to be a cyclist, of course.

Yeah, I didn't really want to be single when I was 25, or 30, or 35. But when you remain single year after year (minus a handful of relationships), you gotta figure out a way to make it work. I just go to a point where I was sick of being sad all the time about it, especially since I know plenty of marriages that are nothing to pine after.

[MojoGrrl]

Co-worker, who was a shoulder to cry on when my marriage was ending...and then more.

[emily_in_nc]

In a nightclub (yeah yeah, cliche). I was tagging along with my roomie and her BF as the two guys I was dating (one I was crazy about, the other was crazy about me) were both out of town. I met my DH that night when I was totally not looking. The guy I was crazy about dropped out of my life completely right afterwards, and I dropped the guy who was crazy about me in order to focus on the new guy.

26 years of marriage later, I guess it was a good thing I joined my roomie that night! :D:D

[jlnc]

Jen12, I'll let ya know when I find him.... :rolleyes:

[ultraviolet]

At work. He was a product manager at a company I was doing a lot of consulting work for. I was facilitating a review of some outside agency work for his product group. We were in a late evening review session, he made a sarcastic remark under his breath about something the creative director was trying to do, and our eyes met over a stifled laugh.

We went out for a drink a few weeks later. That was three and a half years ago.

[blue_angel]

I am 47 and never married. Not once has any of my friends tried to fix me up with anyone.

Not sure if this means there is something wrong with me or the friends...

Nobody's ever tried to fix me up either. But I'm actually kind of grateful for that because, from what I've seen, my friends have terrible taste.

[soprano]

Match.com, back in 2003 when it was uncommon enough to make us both be people who were willing to jump in and try something different. We got married in 2005.

Something that I liked about using a dating service was that it made me really sit down and think about what I wanted in a relationship. I was in grad school and cash was tight enough that I wasn't paying for the service without clearly defining what I wanted from it first. My future husband was the first guy from match.com that I went out with, although I did go out with a few others before we decided to date exclusively.

I can't ride long distances with my wedding band on my left hand. At some casual group rides, I've had a number of men come on to me. It's both flattering and funny, especially when I mention my husband and they want to know why he doesn't come riding with me. Although we're both active, healthy people, he's not into sports (except as a spectator) at all. Occasionally we ride together to get ice cream :)

[Owlie]

College. We had the same large group of friends--I hung out with people who hung out with people he hung out with. We'd managed to put together enough people to get our own floor in a dorm. Apparently he developed a crush on me but could never figure out how to approach me. For my part, one of my friends had to tell me that he had a crush on me. :o I then spent a few weeks trying to get his attention...which he didn't notice. Apparently neither of us are good at picking up subtle hints! We finally talked while on a road trip to New Orleans with our friends. That was...three years ago in March. We're looking at two years of long-distance in the future. We're fairly sure it'll work out.

I know a not-insubstantial number of my friends from high school and college are currently engaged or married. It's kind of odd.

[Roadtrip]

I met my SO in college. I was actually hired in another department to replace him and we spent lots of time together over three months working on a big project. I knew him from around campus and he had a GF and he wasnt exactly my type. He went through a bad breakup with his GF and when it was time for the project to be end I realized I did have feelings for him, but didn't want to be 'rebound' girl and was really hesitant. I ended up calling him up and asked if he wanted to do lunch sometime... He suggested dinner and I said yes ;)

That was nearly thirteen years ago.

Shannon

[zoom-zoom]

I was 11, he was 12, local swimming hole. He loved my white terry cloth bikini - it was 1978.

We didn't start dating until I was a sophomore and he was a junior in high school. Married after my freshman year of college, celebrated our 25th anniversary this June.

Veronica

I thought for sure that I was going to be the one who was youngest when meeting her SO, but you got me beat! :D

I met my DH when I was 17, the Summer before my last year of HS. He was 18 and had just finished and was preparing to go off to college.

I went with a friend to a bonfire party. After a couple of wine coolers I was giggly and thought he was cute (he was...and still is). He totally didn't notice me. :rolleyes:

My best friend and his best friend decided to set us up on a date. It was supposed to just be a brief Summer fling, as he was leaving in 2.5 weeks.

We went on our first date to the drive-in. I couldn't concentrate on either movie (Always and Back to the Future III). We sat in my yard talking until 3am. Well, I think I probably did most of the talking...but it didn't scare him off. I knew he was something special after that first date. After that we were practically inseparable until the day he left for college. That last night we said goodbye was one of the most painful things I've ever experienced. We both cried and held each other for hours.

Our parents said it would never last.

We dated long-distance for 3 years, including 5 months on different continents when he studied abroad in Aberdeen, Scotland. After those years I decided to move to MI to be closer to him (I wanted to transfer schools, anyhow, so the timing was right). Our parents threw fits about it. But we were adults and there wasn't anything they could do.

We lived together for a few years and were married 6.5 years after we started dating. Aug. 2 marks 21 years since our first date. This Dec. we will celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary.

A few years ago my folks apologized for ever meddling and trying to discourage our relationship. And I know better than to ever discourage a young couple from being together if they have a healthy relationship. Some people do meet their soulmates young. My ILs met as teenagers, too.

[marni]

my SAG guy of 37 years and I are high school sweethearts. He bought me a cheer/pep tag for the football game and later asked me out to a movie. IIR it was a Jmes Bond movie. Now I had never heard of James Bond and thought this was supposed to be a real drama not a spoof and I remember being deeply offended that he would take me to such a stupid movie. I obviously got over it.

Three kids, 7 countries and 32 moves later we are still hanging out and riding together on charity rides.

marni

[margo49]

In a hiking hut in a National Park...he just walked in. Talked a bit that night, set off together in the morning (to the next hut up the valley) , talked a lot that night and the next day back down the valley as the snow fell and a Very Nice Night in another hut. Next night in the little dot-on-the-map town then went our separate ways for a fortnight after which he phoned and came to stay at the friend's place I was at. The end of that week decided to "give it a try"...26 years, 3 countries, 3 children, 2 cats and 3 dogs later ...still going strong despite initial racism and bigotry not to mention worry from both sides.
The funniest thing is we are now held up as an example of a "model family"...societal tidal changes have washed us in from the reef of radicaliam onto the (almost deserted) beach of "normality" (one man one woman "good" kids and pets).
Sometimes I am so embarrassed! And so sad for all those who swallowed the heterosexist Hollywood US Cutural Imperialist myth hook line and sinker and had it explode on them. And I am the one getting to live something I don't want to support really.
Not married yet though!!!!

[limewave]

At a bar.

Which is strange on all sorts of levels.
1) Neither one of us drinks. Or we didn't at the time. We were dragged there by friends.
2) My brother met his wife at the same bar 1 year earlier.
3) DH's parents met at the SAME bar 38 years earlier!
(We do have more than 1 bar around here)

We hadn't met before that, but I had seen him around. He was a roadie and his route went past my parents house. I would see him with one of his friends out riding all the time. I took notice every time I saw them. I kept thinking that looked like a lot of fun!

[indysteel]

At a bar.

Which is strange on all sorts of levels.
1) Neither one of us drinks. Or we didn't at the time. We were dragged there by friends.
2) My brother met his wife at the same bar 1 year earlier.
3) DH's parents met at the SAME bar 38 years earlier!
(We do have more than 1 bar around here)

We hadn't met before that, but I had seen him around. He was a roadie and his route went past my parents house. I would see him with one of his friends out riding all the time. I took notice every time I saw them. I kept thinking that looked like a lot of fun!

What crazy coincidences! Maybe our OP should go to that bar!

[blue_angel]

At a bar.

Which is strange on all sorts of levels.
1) Neither one of us drinks. Or we didn't at the time. We were dragged there by friends.
2) My brother met his wife at the same bar 1 year earlier.
3) DH's parents met at the SAME bar 38 years earlier!
(We do have more than 1 bar around here)

We hadn't met before that, but I had seen him around. He was a roadie and his route went past my parents house. I would see him with one of his friends out riding all the time. I took notice every time I saw them. I kept thinking that looked like a lot of fun!

What bar?

[roadie gal]

I wrote a Xena fan fiction story and posted it to one of the fanfic sites. I got a lot of replies saying they liked the story, and I ended up corresponding regularly with a few people. One of them ending up becoming my SO. We're going on 12 years now.

BTW, we met when I was 40 and she was 29. This is the first time that I've been the older person in a relationship.

[ehirsch83]

We had mutual friends and had been attending the same races, but never spoke. We ended up being friends on facebook( how all local racers do somehow, even though we had never said more then hi to each other). We both had a mutual friend and she was trying to move to Colorado and he was from there and I had lived there for 3 years- I actually think she told him to friend me b/c she wanted us all to move together(lol, which didn't happen!)

Anyways, he and I talked a few times and then he would post photos of his yummy food- one day it was buckwheat pancakes with dark chocolate chips and goji berries, among other things and I said I wanted to try them!

He said come over and I'll make them(granted he lived a little over 3 hours away). A few weeks later, I took a leap and made the drive( on the premise that I was going to sleep in the other room and go with him to a race 1.5 hours north of him- I as recovering from my fractured hip and elbow and wanted to watch friends race).

After that weekend we discovered we had a ton in common and we started dating- he spent 2 weeks racing in the Dominican and then a month later he went to france for 3 months to race.. now a year and a 3/4s later we live together and have 2 dogs. (I got a job in Orlando and made the move after a little over a year of long distance dating). He took me to go look at rings the other weekend :) now we are just saving up some $$.

(he isn't the longest relationship I have had to date, but he is definitely the one I see myself with for a long time)

[GLC1968]

Match.com, back in 2003 when it was uncommon enough to make us both be people who were willing to jump in and try something different. We got married in 2005.


Ditto except that we met on Match in 2001 and were married 18 months later in 2003. My brother met his wife on Match in 2003 and was married in 2006.

I whole-heartedly agree with everything Indy posted about being an individual in a relationship. I had formed many of the same thoughts after arriving at 33 and still being permanently unattached.

And in defense of the 'friend fix-up' I did fix up two of my friends once. They'd already met numerous times previously, but something one of them said to me at dinner once just made the idea of them as a couple 'click' for me. I convinced the guy I was dating back then of this and the two of us then proceeded to work VERY hard to get them to acknowledge each other in dating terms. It was not easy but we did it. That was 18 years ago and they are still married and have a wonderful relationship (and family). Sometimes you just gotta trust your friends! :p

[jlnc]

Ok all of you happily married folks...who has a single brother/friend/cousin/in law etc, that you want to set up with some of us single gals? What a cute story that would be!

[Jolt]

Interesting to read how people have met their partners. As for me, I haven't met him yet so I am just doing the things I like to do and being open to whatever might happen in the course of doing that. I enjoy being single (it does have its advantages!) but it would be great to find a guy to share my life with and have a family. However, I am not about to settle--there are certain things we would have to have in common and it has to be someone I can happily see spending the rest of my life with :). And if it doesn't happen, I will make the most of the opportunities I have as a single person to help others and enjoy life. No sense in sitting around and waiting, as someone said earlier, or in feeling bummed out about one's situation.

[indysteel]

Ditto except that we met on Match in 2001 and were married 18 months later in 2003. My brother met his wife on Match in 2003 and was married in 2006.

I whole-heartedly agree with everything Indy posted about being an individual in a relationship. I had formed many of the same thoughts after arriving at 33 and still being permanently unattached.

And in defense of the 'friend fix-up' I did fix up two of my friends once. They'd already met numerous times previously, but something one of them said to me at dinner once just made the idea of them as a couple 'click' for me. I convinced the guy I was dating back then of this and the two of us then proceeded to work VERY hard to get them to acknowledge each other in dating terms. It was not easy but we did it. That was 18 years ago and they are still married and have a wonderful relationship (and family). Sometimes you just gotta trust your friends! :p

Oddly enough, I have to say that the course of life was arguably forever altered by a fix-up. A lawyer I knew from work set me up with a good friend of hers in 2006. He was a lawyer, too, about a year older than me, attractive, blah, blah, blah. At the time, I'd been in a historically long dating slump, so I jumped at the chance to meet him.

We ended up dating for six months. It wasn't a particularly good relationship. In fact, it was arguably pretty bad. He was still fixated on a woman who had broken his heart a couple year's earlier. He dated me, I think, with the hope that it might help him heal. It didn't. We were really hardly more than friends, but I had a hard time with the fact that it wasn't working out since, on paper, it should have. I was also of an age at the time--35 going on 36--that my window for having kids (that I wasn't even sure I wanted) was closing. So, long story short, I got too attached to someone who wasn't really available and was heartbroken in the process.

But, and there is a big but....

He was an avid cyclist, and because of him, I started to ride. He made it look fun, and I wanted to experience that for myself. He also inspired me to try yoga--one of the biggest blessings I've had in my life. By the time we broke up, I was very into both, and for whatever reason, I think they held me together while I nursed my sad, lonely heart. I also think they were instrumental in helping me reconfigure my life--and more importantly, my thinking about my life--into something that made me truly happy and grateful. I also met a lot of great people--fellow cyclists--through this boyfriend, and those people became sort of like family to me. He, in fact, remains a good friend. Well before I met my husband (through cycling), I felt like something really magical had taken place in my life.

So, you never know what will come from a fix-up.

[spokewench]

At a bar.

Which is strange on all sorts of levels.
1) Neither one of us drinks. Or we didn't at the time. We were dragged there by friends.
2) My brother met his wife at the same bar 1 year earlier.
3) DH's parents met at the SAME bar 38 years earlier!
(We do have more than 1 bar around here)

We hadn't met before that, but I had seen him around. He was a roadie and his route went past my parents house. I would see him with one of his friends out riding all the time. I took notice every time I saw them. I kept thinking that looked like a lot of fun!

I met my hubby at a bar - but we were both drinkers. Actually, he was working in a band (moonlighting froms his regular day job) playing drums and I was moonlighting from my regular day job as a cocktail waitress to make extra money since I had just bought a new truck. The bar was kind of a neighborhood type bar - down the street from where I kept my horse.

The place does not exist anymore. It was on leased park property and they finally tore it down. It was the Redwood Inn in the Oakland Hills, California.

[Trek420]

I met mine on TE.

That's funny, I met mine on te too. ;)

[wannaduacentury]

I met mine at college 20 years ago. We'll be married 16 years in August and have a daughter in high school. Jenn:)

[OakLeaf]

Online, before "the internet as we know it."

We'd known each other online for two years before we ever met face to face, and it was a year after that, when I was going through a divorce, that he confessed he'd had a crush on me since that first meeting.

It was weird, because we knew each other's personalities very well from the online forum, but people would ask me things like, "How old is he?" "Does he have siblings?" "What do his parents do?" - the normal things that people usually find out about each other right away when they meet the old-fashioned way - and I'd have no idea. :p

I was very hesitant about getting involved with someone else right after breaking up with my first husband. But I liked and respected my now-DH, and took a leap of faith. 17 years later, we're still together. :)

[Possegal]

I have a cartoon on my fridge that shows a tombstone and says on it "Never did meet 'the one' when she least expected it". It makes me laugh. And cry. But mostly laugh these days as I've long given up hope that there was someone out there for me. Not sure yet how I feel about the 'better to have loved and lost' concept. I have a couple friends that are still single too and never had any real loves in their lives. I had a few. But I've been very alone for a long time now and clearly that is how the rest of this life plays out.

Though reading here perhaps I should (1) go to limewave's bar (2) go back to HS or college or grad school or (3) start riding with actual people rather than all by myself all the time. hmmmmmm

[Jen12]

This is turning out to be quite the thread.

On the subject of fix-ups, whenever my family is together, my mom will ask my brother if he doesn't know anyone he'd like to introduce me to. The topic makes me want to either laugh hysterically or go searching for our birth certificates to ensure that we actually have the same parents. The friends of my brother who I've met over the years are either so bizarre and out there or just plain creepy that I have to give him some props for not ever trying to set me up. Sadly, if my brother wasn't my brother, I don't think I'd know him in life. We're that different. In contrast, I know someone who met her husband because he used to be her brother's roommate.

[Jen12]

I have a cartoon on my fridge that shows a tombstone and says on it "Never did meet 'the one' when she least expected it". It makes me laugh. And cry. But mostly laugh these days as I've long given up hope that there was someone out there for me. (...)


Though reading here perhaps I should (1) go to limewave's bar (2) go back to HS or college or grad school or (3) start riding with actual people rather than all by myself all the time. hmmmmmm

Isn't that the truth? They always say that you'll meet "the one" when you least expect it. I've never expected it and there always seemed to be so much time, yet I still haven't met even "the one for now."

Agree with your three solutions...if only it was possible to reverse time and reexamine possibilities we discounted over the years and choose other courses...that's another thread!

[indysteel]

I have a cartoon on my fridge that shows a tombstone and says on it "Never did meet 'the one' when she least expected it". It makes me laugh. And cry. But mostly laugh these days as I've long given up hope that there was someone out there for me. Not sure yet how I feel about the 'better to have loved and lost' concept. I have a couple friends that are still single too and never had any real loves in their lives. I had a few. But I've been very alone for a long time now and clearly that is how the rest of this life plays out.

Though reading here perhaps I should (1) go to limewave's bar (2) go back to HS or college or grad school or (3) start riding with actual people rather than all by myself all the time. hmmmmmm

Or start hanging out on co-ed internet forums. It seems like there are a number of us who met online on something other than a dating site. I find that rather interesting, especially since I thought I was a bit of an oddity in that regard.

[Irulan]

We met at a wedding. We both knew folks that ran in the same circle, we had just never met each other.

[TxDoc]

I met mine on TE.

Are you kidding? I mean, this TE??? Wow! Congrats to both!
I need to drop the bike forums and start hanging out here more often!!! :)

To the OP, I have no good advice to offer - haven't found Mr. Perfect yet.

Maybe I need to go sit in the park and wait... ;)

http://www.gfx.co.uk/thejokestore/images/Waiting%20for%20the%20Perfect%20Man.jpg

[KnottedYet]

Are you kidding? I mean, this TE??? Wow! Congrats to both!
I need to drop the bike forums and start hanging out here more often!!! :)


Yup. This TE. When I least expected it. (no kidding!)

After 2 years, we got all married and legal and stuff... crazy! :eek:

(Proposed and got married in clothes from TE and on bikes, too. Was very appropriate. Thanks, Susan!)

Kitsune06 and XRayted also met here on TE a few years ago.

[Atlas]

I met my significant other at a vegan potluck I hosted. I'm active on a vegan forum and invited some locals to come over. I'd only met one of them in person before and he came with her. They rode their bikes 25 miles to my house and I couldn't believe it. That route is now a regular one I take. Anyway, we 'friended' each other on facebook and several months later he invited over some vegan friends for a meal and I was the only one who came. We went hiking together two days later and I never really left. We've been together almost three years now.

[channlluv]

Add me to the online-but-not-a-dating-site club.

DH and I met on AOL in October 1995. I had recently left a four-year abusive relationship, finished my MA, moved to a new city, got a new job, and got my first-ever Internet-ready computer. I was logged on to AOL for the first time and within a couple of hours, I was in a lobby when that was where you still had to go before you could go into a topic-specific chat room. I asked a technical question about some online screen thing, and "namechangedtoprotecthewhowishestoremainanonymous" responded.

Now, at the time, I had not been exposed to a whole lot of culture outside North Florida. I thought I was talking to a Japanese woman. I just assumed. His screenname sounded Japanese to me. So we started chatting and my new "girlfriend" gave me a great instructional session on how to use my new computer. She taught me how to use Word. How to resize windows. How to make new files. How to navigate around AOL. All sorts of stuff. I really enjoyed talking to her.

The next evening, home from work, I found her online again and we talked for a couple of hours in an IM window. You know how you can get a little gushy when you meet a new girlfriend? That was me. Gush, gush, gush. We talked about our family backgrounds, education, work -- she was a field tech for a software provider at Boeing in Seattle, religion, philosophy, stuff we liked to do, all kinds of things. And we did it again the next day, and the next, all the while she's teaching me how to use my computer. It was delightful be able to really talk to someone after having been so closed off for so long.

So day four or five into this week of getting to know my new girlfriend...she sends me and three other friends from the Newsroom chat group (where she had been headed that first day we met...you had to wait in a lobby for a spot in the chatroom to open up) with a photo attachment and a note: "Sorry for the glasses. KO"

So, I'm picturing in my head a short, pudgy Japanese woman with really thick glasses because she works on her computer so much (and I just pictured her shaped like me from a sense of familiarity, I guess). I, however, didn't have picture software, so I found her online, explained, and she sent me some software and then talked me through downloading it.

Really, I got a great computer education that first week. So it's starting to download and she has to go. I say thank you and wait for the image to come up line by line by line...28.8 modem, people! A minute or so later, from the bottom of the picture, all I can see are very large, black hightop sneakers.

My first thought: "Wow, she's got big feet for a Japanese woman."

I leave the room to go make some dinner and come back about ten minutes later and nearly drop my spaghetti. On my screen is a photo of a tall, gorgeous guy with long black hair playing an electric guitar and wearing black Raybans.

My second thought: "Wow, this must be a photo of her brother."

I go back online and email her saying that there must be a mistake, that the picture is of a guy. A really cute guy. Is this her brother or something?

Him: "Uh, no, that's me."

Turns out his name is Hawaiian, and yes, I've been gushing to this gorgeous, guitar-playing demigod for the last several days. Geez, what did I say? I must have sounded totally ignorant, but we laughed about the mixup. And then our relationship took on a whole new turn.

That was October. I came to his family Thanksgiving with the help of his mothers and sisters -- total surprise to him and the first time we'd met in person -- and then he flew me out to Seattle for Christmas where he proposed to me in a beautiful little cabin on Puget Sound. What I didn't know at the time was that he'd already bought my engagement ring at Thanksgiving and it was on the table in the room where they'd put me to wait for him to surprise him when he came in.

We were actually featured in an ABC news story about online romance that was aired at Valentine's Day.

He moved across the country to be with me in February and we were married in April, just six months after meeting online. We just celebrated our 16th anniversary.

Roxy

[shootingstar]

Wow, channelluv what a cool love story meeting! And featured on ABC. And now both of you have additional discovery for love of cycling together. Just great.

Someone else commented on this thread:
Isn't that the truth? They always say that you'll meet "the one" when you least expect it. I've never expected it and there always seemed to be so much time, yet I still haven't met even "the one for now."



Well, things do happen when least expected. Dearie really was an unexpected surprise to me because...I had never dated a divorced guy before, he has 2 children (young teens at that difficult time), is 16 yrs. older, etc. Just did not fit my preconceived profile of possibilities at all. Initially all of it for the first few months, made me hesitate alot ..

But despite these overt differences, there are real similarities or parallels of some previous life experiences which just makes it 10x easier for us to click and share. I have mentioned some of this stuff about him and I, the parallels over the years in TE forums.

[channlluv]

You know, it's not finding the one you can live with, it's finding the one you can't live without.

Roxy

[Trek-chick]

We met on an online dating site.

[Catrin]

Knotted and Trek420, your story is just beautiful!

Such wonderful stories! I've been single for about 16 years or so by choice for a multitude of reasons, but have recently decided to at least make myself open to the idea. I've considered an online dating site, but that is a little too scary :o

[Crankin]

My DH didn't fit my "picture" of a potential spouse, either (at the time). We met, as I said, at a singles event, and when we went on our first date, I discovered that he was 3 years younger than me, owned his own lunch truck business, and had dropped out of Penn State. I had not imagined dating anyone who wasn't a professional person, but it was clear my DH was smart, and met all of the other "qualifications" I had, such as not being a sexist pig :). We basically had very similar values, and as he got to know my parents, they became substitutes for the crazy parents he had. We moved in together after a month, got engaged after 3 months, and married in 6 months. About a month after we got married, he went back to school (with no prompting from me, it was just his parents had told him he was stupid all of his life, as well as "being embarrassed to say my wife has a master's degree and i am a HS grad").
I think these stories are very interesting.

[blue_angel]

Add me to the online-but-not-a-dating-site club.

*snip*

DH and I met on AOL in October 1995.
We were actually featured in an ABC news story about online romance that was aired at Valentine's Day.

He moved across the country to be with me in February and we were married in April, just six months after meeting online. We just celebrated our 16th anniversary.

Roxy

I love this story!

[indysteel]

I love this story!

Me, too! That's an amazing story, Roxy!

[limewave]

Fun stories on here!

Roxy--that's cute! :) "what big feet she has . . ." lol.

I remember the feeling I got the exact moment I spotted DH across the bar. He was so cute, wearing his lucky hat and he had the deepest, dark brown eyes. It felt such a strong response, I didn't know how to handle it so I actually excused myself and left. I only lived a block from the bar we were at. After an hour or so, I went back to the bar b/c my friends called and said they were leaving soon to go see a movie and I wanted to meet up with them.

I sat down with my friends and while they waited for their bill, DH and his friends came over to talk to us. When he first walked over, he tried setting me up with his friend. I was SO DISAPPOINTED. Eventually DH and I started talking. And we never stopped!

[Aggie_Ama]

Add me to the "HOW YOUNG?" crowd. I met my husband when we were both competitive bowlers, I don't even remember getting to know him. I thought he was very handsome and intriguing because he was so quiet. He thought I was cute but had attitude. At the coaxing of some mutual friends after we both had a crappy summer in the teenage dating department, he took a chance and took me to a movie. Ironically his brother (DH is 10 months older than me, his brother a little over a year younger) liked me too and DH almost didn't ask me out because of it. I was 16, he was 17. Married at 22 and 23. Celebrated 8 years of marriage in May, will be together 14 years September 15.

[Tokie]

I went riding with a new girlfriend who lived in another town - 18 miles away (met her on a Lung Association Bike Trek). We started in her town & rode to breakfast on a popular local ride. In the middle of the ride, she saw an old biking friend and his buddy. They chatted and decided to have breakfast with us. Over breakfast, (now) DH memorized my friend's phone # when her old friend asked for it. (now) DH then called her and dated her a few times, but no chemistry. Months later, I was finishing the same ride when (now) DH rode by the opposite direction and said "Hi tokie!" - I had on sunglasses,helmet and a bandanna over my mouth and nose to keep blowing sand from Santa Ana winds out. At that point, I was about to call ex-BF for ride home, it was really nasty! I said to (now) DH "do I know you?" and turned to his direction. He gave me a lift home in his pickup truck, but never asked for my phone #.In the following weekends, while his friends ate b'fast on their ride, he would ride 12 miles further and leave notes on my front door(I was out).Finally, I called my GF to ask what to do. She gave me his phone # & told me to bring him cookies to thank him for the drive home. I did- and the rest is history! We married approx.6 months after our first date!

[Koronin]

I actually met my husband at work. We were not co-workers but worked at the same place. I was working at AT&T (a site in Charlotte, NC that no longer exists). I ran the mail inserter machines. Basically the machines that cut, fold and envelope your bill. My husband worked for the company that did the maintenance on the machines. We ended up getting married a bit over a year after we started dating. (27 when we got married). He's also the only person I ever dated. Yep went through college without dating anyone, no getting set up by friends or anything either.

[sfa]

I'm loving reading some of these stories!

DH and I met at Pennsic, a huge medieval re-creation event. We were at a party and he was trying to pick up my sister while a guy he was with was trying to pick me up (we found out later they had discussed this in advance and planned their strategy) but it was pretty clear early on in the conversation that he and I were the ones really getting along well. FWIW, the other guy was WAY better looking and was the reason I had gone to the party to begin with--I knew he was going to be there.

My sister and the other guy ended up dating on and off for a couple of years. DH and I have been together ever since. That was 23 years ago. Now I feel really old!

Sarah

[channlluv]

This really is a great thread. What a bunch of romantics we are!

Roxy

[Susan Otcenas]

Ditto except that we met on Match in 2001 and were married 18 months later in 2003. My brother met his wife on Match in 2003 and was married in 2006.



Another Ditto. Except that Jeff and I met on Match.com in 1997. That was in the way way way back when there weren't even PHOTOS on match.com! We corresponded by email and phone (I should have had stock in the phone company) for 2 1/2 months before we met in person. (I lived in Eugene, OR and he was in Portland. Neither of us owned a car.). He had no idea what I looked like when we met. I had seen one picture of him on his company's website, but that's it.

We met in person at the end of Feb 1998. Moved in together in May 1998 and started TeamEstrogen.com in June 1998! The rest is history. :D

So, I guess we have match.com to thank for TeamEstrogen.com!

[Susan Otcenas]

(Proposed and got married in clothes from TE and on bikes, too. Was very appropriate. Thanks, Susan!)

:-)

I have not the words to express how honored and humbled and pleased and tickled I am to know how many friendships and partnerships have been formed as a result of people meeting via these forums. Don't laugh, but I actually get a little choked up thinking about it!

[indysteel]

Wow, I'm not even sure I knew that Match existed then. I used it in 1999 and I remember the grief I caught then from people unfamiliar with it. Kudos to you and Jeff for being Match torchbearers!

[Owlie]

"Aww" to both Susan's posts. :)

[Red Rock]

Sorry, a little late here....

I met my first DH at school when we were both going for our teaching certificates. He was a computer aid/helper in the computer room in the science building where I would hang out. Soon we ended up talking, then going on hikes and eating ice cream and watching sunsets together. It was a great summer that year. We had been married four years and he died of espohageal cancer. NOT FUN.

Then another five years later, I took myself to berevemnet counseling to make sure I was ok. Then I ended up meeting my current DH there. His wife had just died and he was going through the course to keep himself together. He would bring chocolate muffins to the group session along with dougnuts for everyone else. I made him wait for his first year to be finished first before we became real serious. We have now been married for seven years.:eek: Where does the time go??

Red Rock