Log in

View Full Version : Letters from the bike trail



owlice
07-03-2011, 09:53 AM
Dear Parent,

I think it's great that you are teaching your small child to ride a bike! But please put a helmet on the kid, if for no other reason than the law here requires you do so. Thanks.

Sincerely,
Helmet Head

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Trail Ninja,

Bet you saw me coming, with my two headlights, three SpokeLits, high-vis vest, and purple EL wire!

I didn't see you, though, until my headlights caught you, you all in black with nary a reflective thing on, and no lights. You know, some people heading toward you don't use lights, either.

Just sayin'....

Sincerely,
Visible

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Bike Shorts,

Ow! Why'd you pinch me there?! (Or really, anywhere?!) Cut it out!

Sincerely,
Shopping for Butt'r

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Little Hoppy Frog,

I wish I'd seen you sitting there in the middle of the trail a little sooner. I hope I missed you. If so, yay! (If not, never mind... :-( )

Best,
Owl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear TEamsters,

I'll bet you have letters from the bike trail, whether dirt, MUT, or road, composed in your head, too. I hope you will share some of them.

Sincerely,
Owlice

Owlie
07-03-2011, 10:04 AM
Dear whoever dropped something glass on the trail--
I really hope it was an accident and not an attempt to annoy as many cyclists as you can. I did run over a piece. Luckily, it was flat so no tires were harmed.
No love,
Would-be flat fixer

Dear nice person--
Thank you, whoever you are, for sweeping the glass to the side of the trail. :)
--appreciative cyclist

Dear chipmunks--
What is wrong with all of you? Why do you all decide to run across the trail in front of me?
--The human on the funny wheeled thing who really doesn't want to hit you

Dear certain Super-fast People
You know, you're supposed to SAY SOMETHING when passing so that I know you're there. In case you haven't noticed, the northbound lane of the trail is somewhat narrower, and has plenty of rather tall and spiny plants growing very close to the edge. I'd prefer that you a) don't force me into those plants, and b) keep an eye on the trail so that you don't force people into those plants when you want to pass them. :mad:
--Slowpoke

Tri Girl
07-03-2011, 05:05 PM
Dear stealthy skunk,
Although I realize this is a MUT, if you wish to cross at a non-designated crosswalk, please make your intentions known in advance. I would have been happy to stop and let you go by. Your stealthy appearance from behind the bush caught me by surprise. I'm sorry about you getting tangled up in my spokes, and I'm sure you're sorry you sprayed me and my bike. :eek:
And, BTW, what were you doing out in the middle of the morning anyway?
Sincerely,
Stinky rider



Dear wind,
When you are blowing one direction, please continue to blow in that direction for the entire length of my ride so I know what to expect from you. When you change directions and fight me both ways, I wind up being a little less fond of you.
Sincerely,
tired and exhausted

Roadtrip
07-03-2011, 05:13 PM
Dear Legs, I've missed two rides in a row, just shut up already.

Thanks,
Me.

TrekTheKaty
07-03-2011, 06:20 PM
Dear walkers on the MUT,
I really try to leave you lots of room, but you are talking on the phone/talking to each other/listening to an ipod

AND

either walking three wide or trailing a dog on a 10 ft leash. Work with me here.

I didn't sneak up on you. "on your left. On Your Left. ON YOUR LEFT."

Sincerely,
The cyclist upside-down in the ditch


Dear squirrel,
On your left. On your right. on your left. Ok, you pick!

smittykitty
07-03-2011, 07:37 PM
Dear pair of slightly chubby guys that I passed on a slight incline: Thanks, I don't think I've ever passed a man before. It did my ego wonders. Hope it didn't hurt yours too bad. Hope you don't realize you have just been passed by a total wimp!

To the incredible lady at the the drive-in restuarant along the path that asked me if I (like herself) would be riding in next weeks STP. Thanks for thinking I looked like a real bike rider. Also, you were very inspiring. Maybe, just maybe, I would consider riding with 10,000 real bike riders from Seattle to P.town one year. Maybe next year!

zoom-zoom
07-03-2011, 07:41 PM
Dear walkers on the MUT,
I really try to leave you lots of room, but you are talking on the phone/talking to each other/listening to an ipod

AND

either walking three wide or trailing a dog on a 10 ft leash. Work with me here.

I didn't sneak up on you. "on your left. On Your Left. ON YOUR LEFT."

Sincerely,
The cyclist upside-down in the ditch

Oh, this one has happened to me SO many times. And I am not quiet. I didn't do well in theatre or cheerleading because of a small voice, quite the opposite. If a person can't hear me it's because they weren't listening...at all.

feral1
07-03-2011, 09:58 PM
Dear car "drivers",
Please don't lay on your horn when you are right behind me it kinda scares the $h!% out of me :mad: A little beep will suffice if you really feel it's necessary......

Thank you,need new shorts biker (LOL)

owlice
07-04-2011, 09:01 AM
Dear Fellow Biker,

Thanks for nodding back!

(So few do...)

Sincerely,
Friendly

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Parents of Three,

You totally rock! The family that cycles together goes places together! I enjoyed seeing you and your brood riding along so happily, all in helmets, learning trail etiquette from parents who practice it.

Happy trails,
Owl

hebe
07-04-2011, 11:08 AM
Dear weather, scheduling the one dry day on the only day of the week when I really don't have any time to ride is not good enough. My poor neglected bikes.

TrekTheKaty
07-04-2011, 11:36 AM
Dear bike shop dude,
Why is it so hard to buy a bike? No, I'm not here to buy a fitness bike. I know what I want: upgrade my road bike to carbon frame, switch to compact double, shimano ultegra (or SRAM equivalent) and relaxed geometry.

I did a ton a research on the forums ;). I shopped the websites. Every manufacturer uses different "frame sizes." Apparently, WSD is a marketing term. Then, you rented me a bike you can't order. "Come back in September. Maybe you'd like this one we have on the floor--one size too big, hideous blue and shimano 105."

I ride as far as you do on the weekends, just not as fast. I have my credit card in my hand. And I don't want pink! (sorry westtexas)

Sincerely,
Frustrated and driving to your competitor



Dear fellow (male) rider on expensive bike,
Thanks for chatting with me at the stop today. I'm not a young woman anymore and never was fast. I appreciate your attention, since my husband on the high-end Look custom bike usually gets all the attention.

Sincerely,
Pedaling a little faster

TrekTheKaty
07-04-2011, 11:43 AM
Dear Mother Nature,
I got up at 6:30 am on my day off to beat the heat and the humidity is already 83%! Forget that those us without "allergies" have been sneezing. I can handle the heat, if you must. I have my camelbak full of ice, sunblock, kleenex and will take it easy on the pace. I won't curse the headwind going both ways, but it's STIFLING out here :confused:

Sincerely,
Puddle on the side of the road

Becky
07-04-2011, 02:13 PM
Dear wasp who stung me on a high-speed descent: I hate you.

Dear self: You rock for not dumping the bike during the wasp incident.

goldfinch
07-04-2011, 03:12 PM
Dear cat along the trail, you really did not need to kill that squirrel. I doubt you are going to eat it. But it is your nature to hunt so I accept that. But why the torture? The silent scream of the squirrel has been with me for a week.

Dear recumbent bike riders, thank you for letting me quiz you ad infinitum about your rides. I want one too! And thanks for admiring my Safe Zone helmet mirror, even though it makes me look like one of the collective Borg.

pll
07-04-2011, 03:31 PM
Dear teenager in the bike lane,

Please do not stop suddenly and then move your bike across blocking the entire bike lane. Cars back... Oh, no... What are you doing? What!? You have ear buds and can't hear a thing? :eek:

Sincerely,

One of the two cyclists who nearly crashed

AppleTree
07-04-2011, 05:07 PM
Dear Dude walking down the Interurban Trail today carring a large American flag... I don't know what you story is, or why you were doing that, but you rock!

Signed, Patriotic Cyclist


Dear yellow and orange butterfly floating down the side of the trail visiting all the lupins and poppies and buttercups, how you made me :) !

Signed, Enchanted


Dear weather gods... thank you for today. This is the day we've been dreaming about all winter long here in the northwest.

Signed, Still Drying Out


Dear, dear sweet downhill grade through the cool and shady woods on the trail...I got up to 32mph. Wow, it was good for me, was it good for you too?? :p

Signed, Satisfaction

Dear Owlice...this is the funniest thread I've seen in a long time, thank you!

Signed, ROTFLOL

:D

zoom-zoom
07-04-2011, 05:33 PM
Dear Deer that I almost ran into at 20+mph, yesterday,

Sh!t or get off the pot.

Sincerely,
2-legged thing who wishes you'd stop eating her hostas and pooping in her yard

Marquise
07-04-2011, 05:43 PM
Dear Cycling Gods,
Thanks for two days of fabulous weather on a holiday weekend and for making my husband's injured toe feel good enough for him to spontaneously decide to ride with me today about a week earlier than expected! Also, thanks for getting me through 30 miles two days in a row even though I'm old enough that I'm more of an every-other-day cyclist.
Yours,
Grateful Cyclist
P.S. I hope his return to the bike doesn't backfire and said toe is better for keeps.

Biciclista
07-04-2011, 06:10 PM
Dear strong rando guys who let me draft off you at 20mph
THANKS! that was sure fun!!
slow but steady (usually)

Bike Writer
07-04-2011, 07:03 PM
Dear Hill on Nine Mile Road,

You treated me so poorly when I climbed up your steep face this morning. I got up early enough so that I could get a ride in while it was still cool out, but you made me sweat anyway and plastered my hair to my head under my helmet. You nearly took all my breath away and I sure panted hard at the your top.

However you have a redeeming quality! It sure was a pleasure to have a l-o-n-g descent that went on for nearly a mile. I like the way you make up for being ornery, gave me a big smile and a feeling of contentment. In the end, thank you!

Sincerely,

Happy Coaster

owlice
07-05-2011, 02:40 PM
Dear Mother Nature,

Yes. Yes, it IS hot enough for me today. More than, even. I'll take this over thunderstorms when I want to ride, though, so thank you!

Sincerely,
Sweaty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Planters,

Six servings? This bag of trail mix contains six servings? Really?? Okay.... three tablespoons in a serving, but what I really need to know is... how many tablespoons in a handful?

Hungrily,
Munchy

Owlie
07-05-2011, 06:12 PM
Dear group of boys playing on the trail--
I will agree that it's a multi-use trail. You've got every right to be there. I just ask that you exercise some caution if you want to lie down on the trail! There are lots of people who use that trail who are faster than me, less cautious than me, and bigger jerks than me. But thank you for saying hi, apologizing, and wishing me a nice ride. :)

--The girl in the UK flag jersey

Deborajen
07-05-2011, 09:16 PM
Dear cyclist who passed me on the bike/walk path this morning,

Thanks for the polite "on your left." Although my dog was peeing to the left of the trail and I was standing on the far left edge of the pavement beside her, I was pretty sure you weren't really planning on passing us on the big, sharp rocks to the left of us. Hence the friendly wave I gave you in return. ;)

And to your "thank you" as you did pass us (on the right :)), you're certainly welcome! A polite heads-up is always appreciated.

Sincerely,

Sharin' the Path

Catrin
07-06-2011, 05:31 AM
Dear cyclist who passed me on the road Sunday.

If you are going to pass me on the right please say something! My mirror is on my left bar, and I just plain didn't see you or hear you coming as I was watching a hawk on the other side of the road.. Thankfully I take surprises much better than I once did on the bike, but I almost choked on the water I was drinking from my Camelbak as you smoked me. The wave was nice though, thank you!

Sky King
07-06-2011, 08:29 AM
Dear city planners and sanitation department,

thank you for the nice new bike lane on this busy street but who's idea was it that the homeowners be required to place their huge garbage bins in said bike lane on trash pick up day!

just trying to stay alive

hebe
07-06-2011, 11:37 AM
--The girl in the UK flag jersey
:D

Dear weather,
I'm still waiting.

love from a cyclist who is knitting a lot more than usual at the moment.

Owlie
07-13-2011, 11:40 AM
Nothing wrong with knitting. It's too hot to knit...and I broke a needle. :(

Dear 40-something:
One, you're a moron for riding in the wrong lane of the trail. Two, yes, I passed you on the right, because you were in the wrong lane. Three, yes, I passed you at about 18 mph, because I didn't want to be anywhere near you in case there was someone in the lane you were in going the opposite direction. Yes, I'm a girl. I'm also 20 years younger than you. Why should these facts offend you so? Was there really any need for the dirty looks and the very aggressive pass before you zoomed off? Is your ego that easily bruised? You need to seriously reexamine your outlook on life. Getting that stressed over such minor things is probably not good for you.

--That Girl
PS: I passed you again while you were sprawled out under a tree, if you didn't notice...

Dear driver:
Yeah, there's a stop sign there--FOR YOU. No harm done, but you gave me a heart attack.

Dear other driver:
While many other cyclists may blow through the stop signs on the trail, I don't. I was not about to start pedaling through the intersection. I merely had to roll/hop forward a bit so I could see if there was traffic coming the other way. I'm not trying to get in your way, that's for sure.
:rolleyes:

Dear self:
The middle of the trail is not the place to go "Ooh, what's that bird?"

Dear Hawaiian shaved ice shack next to the trail--
Thank you for being there. I love you.
The cyclist with the blue tongue and lips.

skhill
07-13-2011, 12:59 PM
Dear Parents riding with kids:
It's good to see your kids all wearing helmets. So where's your helmet?

Dear self:
Yeah, on that stretch of path on that bike in those weather conditions it's possible to break 40mph. But there's no need to prove it...

jlnc
07-23-2011, 02:33 PM
Dear Weatherman,
Didn't your mother teach you that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all? 4 days of 100+ degree weather is not nice!! :rolleyes:

TrekTheKaty
07-23-2011, 04:20 PM
Dear Mr Stoplight,
You know you know I'm there. I rode over the sensor (not that you care, despite my email to the city) and still didn't change after a car pulled up. I'm a good-girl, law abiding, and you made me run the red after waiting three cycles. BE NICE!

Sincerely,
Composing on my iphone while waiting at the stoplight

goride
07-24-2011, 03:12 PM
Dear Dog Walkers,

I am glad to see that you and Fido are out enjoying the multi-use trails. Please be a responsible pet owner and clean up after your dog so others may enjoy the trail, too.

owlice
07-30-2011, 06:40 AM
Dear clouds,

Where are you when I need you??

Sincerely,
Broiled

Owlie
07-30-2011, 06:47 AM
Dear trail maintenance people--
Uh, can you clean up that "cyclocross" section that last weekend's storm so generously added to the trail?

Velocivixen
07-30-2011, 10:13 AM
Dear jobbers on the multi-user path,
Yes you do have the "right of way" according to state law. State law also states that I, on a bike, can ride on said path as well as sidewalks as long as I slow to walking speed around pedestrians and give an audible warning when I pass. Those are my responsibilities. It's you're responsibility to allow me to pass when I give a warning. Please to not monopolize the entire width of the path/sidewalk and allow me to pass without all of the snarky comments. I pay taxes too.

skhill
08-01-2011, 08:11 AM
Dear speedster:

Do you go through stop signs at 25mph in your car too? Sure, there were no motorized vehicles in sight, but it's still a stop sign. It's there for a reason.

ArgyleDinosaur
08-03-2011, 08:06 PM
Dear Bike path caretakers,

Please don't fix parts of the terribly worn and destroyed pavement by covering it with loose gravel. My front tire hit the gravel awkwardly and left me picking bits of rock out of my road rash.
Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,
Ow my appendages hurt



Dear guy who was jogging down the path wearing a gas mask,

WHY THE HELL WERE YOU WEARING A GAS MASK!!!???

Sincerely,
The staring, confused girl