Sharing an "ah ha!" [Archive] - Women's Cycling Discussion Forums

NorCalGal

10-28-2005, 04:20 PM

Hi all,

I first found this forum last summer and everyone who posts on it is so supportive and nurturing and inspiring that it really motivated me to get back out on my road Trek, which I did, and for some reason my cycling was so much better and efficient than when I rode a few years ago and I couldn't figger it out! And then I did! It's about my caboose! :p

When I rode before, I was afraid of my largish butt completely hiding the Terry saddle on my bike, as in enveloping it; it just seemed so pathetic! So my answer to that was to semi-support myself on the pedals to raise my butt off the saddle a bit while I rode. :rolleyes: As if anyone passing me on my rural country roads would care!!!

Then I read something that one of the veterans on this forum wrote, about wearing what makes you feel comfortable and not worrying about what other people think (wish I could remember who it was, because I'd send a big thank you hug to her!), so I put on one of my husband's t-shirts and quit worrying about the south end and I really sat on that saddle and WHAT A DIFFERENCE to use my legs to actually pedal the bike sted of pedal and hold me up at the same time!!!

Anyway, it's a goofy little story that I wanted to share.

And I saw this today:

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

--Mark Twain

latelatebloomer

10-28-2005, 06:40 PM

I'm smiling ear to ear for you! Yes, I've been learning, also, you've got to love and work with the body you have. I'm a big woman riding on country roads, too. It's so easy to think of everything that I'm not - not thinner, not younger, not more fit, not able to buy better gear - and so on. But it's a pretty uninteresting train of thought, not just for me, but for everyone around me, too.

My epiphany came during a spin class. I privately call the trainer my "Obi-wan" because he's taught me so much. We were doing a long climb to some great mystic music, lights off, just focussing on our own bodies. And I realized that in every workout, I treated my body like the enemy. Hated it for what it could not do. Called it names. Instead of being grateful for what it could do, and taking care of it. And enjoying my effort.

That was the life-changing moment for me. Congrats on your own. Just wondering - any other way you've been robbing yourself of your strength by trying to camouflage? Someone here on the forum asked me a question like that once, and it was a wonderful day.

I've got family in the Bay Area, so hopefully you'll see my round self on your roads someday! :D

Surlygirl

10-29-2005, 11:40 AM

I finally developed that "#&* them if they can't take a joke" attitude. For me it was wearing a tennis skirt over my bike shorts that helped me. Even when I was tiny( oh so long ago) I never looked good in bike shorts, I'm short and stocky. The skirt just gave me that little bit of extra confidence and coverage. Life is to short to worry about what other people think. I think we have to learn to be our own best friend.

bikerHen'sChick

10-29-2005, 12:54 PM

I swear by Terry Pro-Racer skorts. I feeling really yukky in bike shorts, but that nice short skirt attached hides my tummy and accentuates my long lags, and it makes me feel so much better on a bike. I'm sure I look like an idiot when I mountain bike in a skort, but at least I'm a confident idiot :)

RoadRaven

10-29-2005, 12:55 PM

Hey there NC Gal (and LateLate and Surly and BH's Chick...) - I'm always thrilled to hear people (women) decide that their body is what they have and if they are getting it to do what they want (or training it to do what they want) then perceptions of what shape/weight/size it is can be someone elses problem.

You don't have to be a waif thin model to epitomise desirability - in fact (and I probably have written this somewhere else so forgive me, but this is one of my favourite rants!)... in fact, most people seeking a sexual/physical relationship do not want a skinny bf/gf... this is a myth we have been sold by the media (and so-called "women's" magazines are one of the BIGGEST culprits).

We want someone comfortable to hold onto and snuggle into, not skin pulled over bones... now, before all the lean fit cyclists get upset with me, I want to clarify there is a world of difference between a lean, fit body, and a starved wanna-be-size-nothing body... skin, hair, tone and overall fitness... an absolute world of difference.

So, when you ease those lovely glutes that have carried you for so long (and are now learning to push you along on a bike) onto your saddle NC, just remember that the skinny chicks who don't jump on a bike or go for a walk for the sheer pleasure of it will most likely have bone-density, heart and other health problems - you are cycling fit, and that is fantastic.

That was my motivation - to get fit again... 40 years and 7 pregnancies can do a bit of damage to a body. Losing weight/changing shape is a pleasant side-effect... but damn if I am not fitter than almost every other female on my office floor! :D

Oh, and NC Gal... love that little quote at the end of your post... I said almost the same thing to a colleague who was hassling me about not going to a conference cause I wanted to spend that time with my kids. I said to her, what will matter to me in ten years time... that I didn't go to this conference that I can't even remeber the name of now... or that I didn't listen to my son read me the story he wrote at school and didn't help my daughter bury her birds and plant a garden over them.
My colleague just glared at me and said something like work is about networking you know, its about relationships...
And I said yes... so is family...

Trekhawk

10-29-2005, 05:48 PM

That was my motivation - to get fit again... 40 years and 7 pregnancies can do a bit of damage to a body. Losing weight/changing shape is a pleasant side-effect... but damn if I am not fitter than almost every other female on my office floor! :D
Oh, and NC Gal... love that little quote at the end of your post... I said almost the same thing to a colleague who was hassling me about not going to a conference cause I wanted to spend that time with my kids. I said to her, what will matter to me in ten years time... that I didn't go to this conference that I can't even remeber the name of now... or that I didn't listen to my son read me the story he wrote at school and didn't help my daughter bury her birds and plant a garden over them.
My colleague just glared at me and said something like work is about networking you know, its about relationships...
And I said yes... so is family...

Roadraven - I admire all the women on this forum but you have just hit the top. Seven pregnancies wow and I thought it was hard to get back into shape after three.

I also love your take on spending time with your family. You are so right when we are old and reminise Im sure it wont be about work. Family and friends will be what we hold dear.

bluerider

10-29-2005, 06:18 PM

One...two...let's all say this together...AH HA! Well done NorCal!!! Be proud of what you have and the fact you are using it. I know how you can feel self-conscious: anytime I have a steep climb, I self-consciously look over my shoulder to see if any cars are coming uphill before I stand and let 'er rip. But now I just figure, if you want to stare, go ahead, I'm eating this climb up and you can watch me doing it while sitting on your caboose.

I had huge body image issues (still do but working on it) and know that cycling was really really intimidating to me first. I wasn't afraid of crashing, getting lost, or getting harassed, I was afraid of the gear! Isn't that absurd? In hindsight, yes, but initially I wouldn't get on my bike until I looked decent in my gear. Thank goodness that was shortlived. I've overcome that now so congratulate you on looking beyond your body from the outside and be proud of what it can do for you.

crazycanuck

10-29-2005, 07:42 PM

Hey norcal gal,

When we started riding, my hiney and mid section were quite big as well. I'm conscious of my body shape, never obsessed with it however I wanted to be fit (not skinny, fit as in good nutrition and a healthy cardio system) in some way...and not have to wear baggy shirts all the time ( i still like baggy shirts..) When we bought bikes i thought one day it;ll pay off....

It has...(the kangaroos, the mud, clay & tree roots)...I had the best compliment from my other half the other night after my tri training...He said "you look v sexy in that, almost like a new woman"...He made my night/year/etc...

I'm happy with how i look, it's taken a few years however if this is the beginning of a funky bodaayyy....i'll keep at it...and show my chest off with low cut tops...with an interesting biker tan..tee hee..

Cheryl

doc

10-30-2005, 03:42 AM

I agree heartily with all of the above. When I was a runner (before I knew about the heaven that is biking) I was at the end of a 5 mile run going up a long long hill. I was breathing pretty heavy but feeling good. I passed a driveway where some guy with a giant beer gut and blob everywhere else on him was sitting. He made fun of me by panting really loudly. I didn't even have to comment. I was so sure of who was "right" and who was "wrong".

I knew how completely pathetic of him it was to make fun of someone who is exercising while he was in as poor health as imaginable. I have taken that feeling and applied it all over. If I know I'm doing the right thing for my body, and my life then I get that good feeling and it fends off all sorts of bad stuff.

You are doing the right thing for a healthy, energetic, happy life. No one is allowed to rain on that parade!!

DirtDiva

10-30-2005, 08:30 AM

Had that happened to me it would have been one of those occasions where my middle finger developed a mind of its own. :rolleyes: :p What a louse. :mad:

RoadRaven

10-30-2005, 09:57 AM

Roadraven - I admire all the women on this forum but you have just hit the top. Seven pregnancies wow and I thought it was hard to get back into shape after three.

I also love your take on spending time with your family. You are so right when we are old and reminise Im sure it wont be about work. Family and friends will be what we hold dear.

Hey there Trek... I have only carried 5 through to the 9 months, but apparently being pregnant (and not actually going full term) has similar effects to a full term pregnancy in terms of elasticity of skin, effects on muscle (LOL, and brain!) etc etc... but I think the thing that did the most damage (aside from the size of my babies ... groooan, biggest was 10lbs11oz) was the closeness I had them together... the difference in age between my five children spans seven years (I was pregnant with my fourth child when my first started school).

I think the doctor told me that the main "damage" in terms of recovery is after 3-4 pregnancies/labours... and you should get onto it sooner rather than later... LOL, with my youngest now 10 years old I think I fall into the "later" category...

Good on us though, eh? Good on all the girls here at TE for taking self responsibility and getting out there and maintaining or improving all our various levels of fitness... you're all an inspiration... thanks

cindysue

10-30-2005, 08:29 PM

thanks to all of you for sharing. Love those feel good words of inspiration!

you go girls! You make me proud to be a woman!

bikerchick68

10-31-2005, 10:39 AM

this post has made me smile too... I am so far from having what magazines consider a "perfect" body... but ya know what? I'll put up $100 that says I can kick the scrawny behind of any model on a bike! :D

I guess these big ole thighs and rump DO serve a purpose... cause they'll carry me a hundred miles on a bike smiling all the way! :p :p :p

latelatebloomer

10-31-2005, 01:30 PM

Hey Bikerchick, put on some snug jeans and cowboy boots and show them powerful thighs and rump to their best advantage! ;) I'm a curvalicious woman, myself, and when I choose that outfit, I get treated like the Queen of Sheba all day!

bikerchick68

10-31-2005, 02:32 PM

curvalicious... heheehehehehe... what a GREAT description!

and an excuse to go boot shopping... ;)

NorCalGal

11-10-2005, 08:51 AM

Trekhawk

11-10-2005, 09:40 AM

Hi everyone,
I just had to let you know how much I appreciate you and your great, supportive responses to this post. As with other members of this forum, I live in a rural area and have no cycling buddies nearby, and not many people in my community understand the passion. It's so great to have this outlet. Thank you!
Hugs,
Karen

Hey NorCal - perhaps we can get together for a ride next year. Maybe we could meet somewhere in the middle or try a ride at each others location for some variety. :)

wabisabi

11-10-2005, 12:21 PM

How far north are you? I'm way up here, in Arcata.

NorCalGal

11-10-2005, 02:09 PM

Trekhawk

11-10-2005, 02:21 PM

Hello Trekhawk and Wabisabi!

I'm very near Chico, so planning a ride with either of you is certainly doable, especially now that I'm done with grad school and have time, blessed time. :)

I'm also on the mailing list for the Cinderella....what about you? Hopefully we can ride together before that...but it's also something to shoot for, as is the Chico Wildflower in late April.
;) KD

SadieKate just gave me the link for this (the Wildflower) and it looks great. If I can keep some fitness over winter I might manage a century by then.

If we both end up registered for this perhaps we can ride some of it together.:)

SadieKate

11-10-2005, 03:04 PM

Here is another ride nearer you two. http://www.bikearoundthebuttes.com/Can't remember if we talked about it before.

Basically same course as the Rice Valley Tandem Rally but later in the year. A great first century. Read all about jobob's victory and chutzpah here.
http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showthread.php?t=2521&highlight=buttes

Trekhawk

11-10-2005, 03:47 PM

Here is another ride nearer you two. http://www.bikearoundthebuttes.com/Can't remember if we talked about it before.
Basically same course as the Rice Valley Tandem Rally but later in the year. A great first century. Read all about jobob's victory and chutzpah here.
http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showthread.php?t=2521&highlight=buttes

Thanks again SadieKate - this does sound like a good one for beginners. Humm Im thinking maybe this and then the moonlight ride in May.

Eaglewalker

11-13-2005, 02:59 PM

Cheers, all! Personally, I have the haunches of a quarter horse, and I refuse to be ashamed of it. When I was fourteen (long long ago), a exercise instructor wanted me to work more on certain exercises because, she said, I was (and am still) pear-shaped. I pointed out that the protrusions that formed my shape were in fact my hip bones, and no matter how much I exercised, they were not going to get any narrower.

Then, a few years ago, a friend introduced me to her water aerobics instructor. It was a social occasion, but the water person chose to seize an opportunity and invite me to join her classes. I thanked her, but said that my chosen form of exercise was cycling. She told me I really should switch to water aerobics, because then the water would hide the size of my butt. I stared at her for a moment. Then I said, "I realize it's asking a lot of the public to view the size of my backside, but they have dealt with worse things, and I think they will probably get over it."

latelatebloomer

11-13-2005, 05:48 PM

She told me I really should switch to water aerobics, because then the water would hide the size of my butt.

Hanging is too good for her!!! :mad: :mad: :mad:

Lise

11-13-2005, 08:01 PM

She told me I really should switch to water aerobics, because then the water would hide the size of my butt.

:mad: Stunned silence. Wow. In my most compassionate moment, I try to imagine how much self-hatred such a woman must have to say that to you. In the other 23 hr, 59 min of the day, I'd like to kick her with my really strong legs. IDIOT! Your reply was remarkably restrained.

I'd like to see you smoke her on your bike.

Lise

Eaglewalker

11-13-2005, 10:03 PM

I'd like to kick her with my really strong legs.
I did rather feel like kicking her. I was then -- and still am -- fighting my way down from where the depression and the Zoloft put me, but I was damned if I was going to let a little popsie make me ashamed of my body just because it will never look like Alyssa Milano's body.
edit: I really didn't mean to write "licking her". Typing late at night...

Lise

11-14-2005, 12:48 AM

Great picture! As I look at that horse's gorgeous haunches, and the stubby little legs of the dachshund above, I'd say, nah, you kick her! Despite my divine representation in the form of a doxie, I actually have pretty long legs (5'8"), and they're the most muscular part of me. Why would you want to do water aerobics, when you can fly on a bike?!

Best wishes,

Lise

wabisabi

11-14-2005, 08:46 AM

NorCal, I'm definitely doing the Wildflower (with my local group also) , and will look at the timing for the Cinderella. Darn this having to work for a living, it so interferes with the many other pursuits of life!

Eaglewalker

11-14-2005, 09:44 AM

Why would you want to do water aerobics, when you can fly on a bike?!

Don't you wonder? I once said to an acquaintance that I thought cycling had to be about as close to flying as you can get without leaving the earth. I knew she cycled as well -- what I didn't know was that she also flew gliders. She thought about it and said yes, I was right. They are a lot alike.

And you are more compassionate than I am. What I thought, angrily, was that this woman understood the average woman's vulnerability and knew exactly the right buttons to push to use that vulnerability to her own advantage -- i.e. how to make money by encouraging women's insecurity about their appearance. :mad:

CorsairMac

11-14-2005, 02:35 PM

Gosh - maybe I"m the one that needs help coz I'm thinking, depending on just how deep and dark that water is, it could hide a LOT of things: like bodies! :rolleyes:

My younger sister used to try and humiliate me in public situations. Unfortunately it was because she had such low self-esteem and feelings of inadequecy, she felt tearing others down would only make her look and/or feel better. All one can do for ppl like them is say a prayer they get the help they need and move on with our lives.

Eaglewalker

11-14-2005, 03:53 PM

That's sad. Did she get better, or just further away?

Lise

11-14-2005, 08:23 PM

edit: I really didn't mean to write "licking her". Typing late at night...

Although...if you gave her a lick, it would sure freak her out! Your point about knowing how to exploit women's insecurity for her own profit was chilling. I hope, for her sake, that she's "just" an IDIOT, and not an evil money-grubbing idiot. OK, nuff said!

Kathie, sorry to hear about your sister. I was harassed, beaten up, and shamed in all three junior high schools I went to! (ARGH!) Thing is, they were just wrong. It is good to be on the other side of that, to have past it, and to know my own truth. Feeling strong in my own body is the best revenge.

:) Lise

CorsairMac

11-15-2005, 12:59 PM

thanks ya'll but as someones sig line says: that which doesn't kill me only makes me stronger (or stranger?)
and since I ain't dead yet........................ ;)

LBTC

11-27-2005, 05:57 PM

Way to go EagleWalker! I admire that you had a response to such a horrible comment, and that it was nicely restrained! I admire you! <smile>

I am amazed at what some people allow to come out of their mouths!!

You girls are all testament to the wonder and joy that is cycling.

Go girls!

Namaste,
~T~

arnaew

12-14-2005, 08:41 PM

I'm not a very experienced cyclist but one thing I learned very quickly is that if you don't wear the gear, you can get into all sorts of trouble very quickly - catching loose clothing on seat noses, loose sleeves on bars etc And in Australia, where it can get VERY hot, if your clothing doesn't wick away the sweat, you can get add kilos (pounds) to the load as you get wetter and wetter! But what I also learned very quickly was that men can be complete a**holes when it comes to making comments about the way you look in your clothing. Just last Sunday I was out cycling along the coast road (temp 37C - just over 100F) with some acquaintances. Of the 3 women none of us are petite, and I'm the largest at around 180lb. As we got off our bikes at a beach kiosk to have coffee, a table full of men (aged 40-50) started sniggering, making 'oh no, not the lycra!' comments and claiming that they could no longer eat their breakfast. It was awful, but worse that the guys we were with didn't even notice it!
You know, it's weird. As a middleaged woman, I became used to the idea of invisibility a while ago. No-one looks at me when I walk down the street, no-one holds open doors, or asks me for the time. Suddenly, because I've climbed on the bike and every curve is out there, I feel like everyone's looking! For a big shirt lady, this takes some getting used to, and the attitude of some blokes just doesn't help.

Trekhawk

12-14-2005, 10:18 PM

Of the 3 women none of us are petite, and I'm the largest at around 180lb. As we got off our bikes at a beach kiosk to have coffee, a table full of men (aged 40-50) started sniggering, making 'oh no, not the lycra!' comments and claiming that they could no longer eat their breakfast. It was awful, but worse that the guys we were with didn't even notice it!
You know, it's weird. As a middleaged woman, I became used to the idea of invisibility a while ago. No-one looks at me when I walk down the street, no-one holds open doors, or asks me for the time. Suddenly, because I've climbed on the bike and every curve is out there, I feel like everyone's looking! For a big shirt lady, this takes some getting used to, and the attitude of some blokes just doesn't help.

Aaah some men are such a waste of space. Im also guessing that most of these loud mouths couldn't fit there beer guts into lycra.