My friend is missing

[PamNY]

I don't usually post things like this, but I'm just sitting here blank eyed and could use some friends.

This man was one of my dearest friends for years. He has a history of alcohol abuse and what I would call depression. It has been characteristic of him to be incommunicado for months and then bounce back as if nothing had happened. Despite these quirks, we had loads of fun and he supported me in some of my darkest days.

He has been out of touch for almost a year, and last week I was notified that he's missing. His landlord somehow became aware that he wasn't coming home and his pets weren't being cared for.

I won't go into all the details, but predictable steps are being taken and so far -- nothing. As far as I know, he's a homebody -- doesn't go out much if at all.

I'm trying not to fear the worst, but it's getting harder.

[OakLeaf]

(((((((Pam & friend)))))))

Sending good thoughts your way.

[SheFly]

Keeping you in my thoughts. And hoping for a good outcome.

SheFly

[badger]

yikes!!

I hope he's okay! it's the "not knowing" that's hard, isn't it?

hang in there, sending good thoughts to you. hugs.

[maillotpois]

Wow - I am so sorry!

[Kerry1976]

Wow, I can't even begin to imagine....

Keeping you and him in my thoughts.

[sazza]

How awful:( I really hope that he is okay and send all my best wishes to his family and friends. take care of yourself too.
xxx

[spokewench]

So sad. I hope they find him, or he just turns back up.

[Tri Girl]

oh no, Pam. :( I'm so sorry. I'm sending you support and good vibes that they will find him and he'll be OK. :( So sorry...

[Chile Pepper]

oh, wow, that is so scary. I really hope he is OK. Hugs.

[Miranda]

Pam, I am so sorry for you and your feelings of anguish. But really, what can you do? Unfortunately, nothing. Frustrating, yes.

I have some friends like this in a way also. Certain things about them have been a godsend to my life at times. Other things in their behavior make me wonder why I would put myself thru the pain of associating with them.

But, I've learned to take it at what it's worth. And when there are those things that I have said or did my peace on, I know I can't control another person/ outcome. I try to let the worry go out of my heart. Easy to say, hard to do I know.

You, and your friend's welfare will be in my thoughts for the best. Try not to make yourself sick, sweetie. It hurts you. Sure your friend would not want you to be hurt. Unfortunately when another person is sick, and only capable of so much in their sick dsyfuctional state, we hafta try and accept it as is, or let it go.

So sorry~ (((hugs))).

[azfiddle]

Pam,
Sorry to hear about your friend- I can only imagine your feelings of concern and worry right now. Hang in there.

[indysteel]

Pam, I'm so sad for you and your friend. I certainly hope he's found--know that people know he's missing. I'll say a prayer.

[Bike Chick]

Oh, Pam! How awful! I'm so sorry. Sending caring thoughts and hugs your way.

[emily_in_nc]

Sad and scary. I can only imagine how worried you must be. People just don't leave their pets without a good reason. I hope this doesn't end as badly as it could. :( :( :( :(

[PamNY]

Thanks for the support, everyone. After getting more information, we now think it's a case where the person wanted to disappear -- I'm less inclined to think the worst has happened.

The problems I mentioned have escalated in the past year more than I knew about. The situation is still tragic and painful, but not as terrifying as I thought.

The pets are taken care of -- luckily one person close to the situation is an animal lover, so she took charge of that.

Again, thanks for everyone's concern. I was feeling pretty awful when I posted yesterday.