Potential Eating Disorder: Confront?

[tangentgirl]

Has anyone had to confront someone who might have an eating disorder? Without too many details, someone close to me has been obsessing about food and diets and exercise lately. To the point of going out for lunch after a bike ride - albeit a short ride - and ordering only water.

She looks great, and I don't want to be that person who harps on someone because they look great, but I don't think she's being all that healthy. She doesn't need to lose six pounds or whatever she's trying to lose. She doesn't need a 1200-cal/day diet. She seems like she's on the verge of something dangerous here. And I care about her.

She's also not a person who takes confrontation well. I have big shoulders, but I'd want anything I said to her to actually sink in.

Blarg.

[KnottedYet]

Has something else happened in her life that might be getting expressed as a weight and food issue?

Relationship changes, financial problems, things like that?

If there is something like that going on, I'd talk to her about the problem rather than about the weight/food.

If there isn't anything stressing her out, then could it simply be that she's making a concerted effort to get fit? (you said she looks really good)

When I was anorexic, it was totally a symptom of a different problem. I got a lot of flack about my eating and my fragile thinness, but no-one addressed the issue behind it... so the harping on my eating never connected and I never even realized that I'd had a food problem until years later.

If you are concerned, maybe ask her how the rest of her life is going? And leave the food alone for right now?

tl;dr - food issues are a symptom of something else gone awry in someone's life

[tangentgirl]

If you are concerned, maybe ask her how the rest of her life is going? And leave the food alone for right now?

That seems like a fair approach. Not hitting a potentialy explosive subject, but not ignoring it all either.

[alexis_the_tiny]

+1 for what knotted said. If she is developing an eating disorder, it's highly likely that its a symptom of something going on in her life. Its never really about the weight to start with. It could be a lot of things but whatever it is, she's carrying around a lot of pain. So, try to find out where her pain is and give her as much love as she can.