lovebug
02-27-2011, 08:35 PM
I recently discovered the Team Estrogen forums as I was purchasing my first ever road bike, as I’m training to do my first triathlons this year – the different advice given by many users on these forums was priceless and I am now the proud owner of my very own carbon/aluminum Campagnolo equipped bike.
Because of the great advice and open and engaging community, I’m now writing my own post as I need to hear from other like-minded women about a delicate balance: being a single mom and training for triathlons.
I started running two years ago and have participated in several races. I did three half marathons last year and was happy with my times, and then I saw X-Terra… I totally dug the off-road triathlon scene, and decided I wanted to participate in 2011, but figured that I’d be better off doing a few “normal” short distance triathlons before. I joined my local triathlon club and started training in November, and totally love training for three different sports, but it IS very time consuming.
I’ve been divorced for 6 years, and my children are now 10 and 11, turning 11 and 12 this year. Their dad lives nearby, but takes them one weekend out of two and for a few weeks of holidays a year. I’ve been on a roller-coaster relationship with my (current?) (ex?) boyfriend for 5 years. When I signed up for the triathlon team, my boyfriend and I were together, and I knew I could count on him to take care of the kids while I was training. A month later, we split up, and I had to organize myself differently. I got my ex-mother in law to come take care of the kids one evening a week for swim training, and brought the kids over to their dad’s place another evening for the run training, and then I go swimming on the weekends when the kids are with their dad. Bike practice hasn’t started yet but it’s supposed to be during the weekend.
We got back together and then split up again just two days ago, so I’m back to square one. Unfortunately, one of the reasons why I keep going back to this bad relationship is that I’m scared to be alone. He’s not an entirely bad guy (don’t worry, no abuse going on here) but I know that I’d be better off alone for a while. So now, I need to figure out how I can keep training, which is something that I love and need, but the guilt is starting to kill me in advance! Let me explain…
I feel guilty about a lot of things in general, and am working on that in therapy, but I currently have two choices: either I help my kids become independent for one swim training a week, or I drop swim training and only get it in one weekend out of two when they’re with their dad. Re-reading myself, I have this feeling that I’m making a mountain out of an anthill, but maybe somebody can relate? Luckily the triathlon club offers swim training in the evening or very early in the morning, I coached the kids to stay alone for the 2.5 hours that I needed in the evening, but it’s right before bed time and they didn’t like that, so after talking about it with them, we’re now going to try the morning training, which means that I’m gone before they get up and they have to get ready and go to school alone. The swim session finishes just 30 minutes before school starts, so I’ll be able to quickly call and make sure everything’s fine before they head out.
I can’t afford to hire a babysitter, but live in an apartment building where I can count on neighbors to be available if there’s a problem.
That was a very long-winded post but I felt that it was necessary to explain the background to give y’all a complete picture.
I would love to hear from other mothers/stepmothers/caregivers that have children to take care of and have to balance that with your love of sports and training for one or several!
All the best,
lovebug
Because of the great advice and open and engaging community, I’m now writing my own post as I need to hear from other like-minded women about a delicate balance: being a single mom and training for triathlons.
I started running two years ago and have participated in several races. I did three half marathons last year and was happy with my times, and then I saw X-Terra… I totally dug the off-road triathlon scene, and decided I wanted to participate in 2011, but figured that I’d be better off doing a few “normal” short distance triathlons before. I joined my local triathlon club and started training in November, and totally love training for three different sports, but it IS very time consuming.
I’ve been divorced for 6 years, and my children are now 10 and 11, turning 11 and 12 this year. Their dad lives nearby, but takes them one weekend out of two and for a few weeks of holidays a year. I’ve been on a roller-coaster relationship with my (current?) (ex?) boyfriend for 5 years. When I signed up for the triathlon team, my boyfriend and I were together, and I knew I could count on him to take care of the kids while I was training. A month later, we split up, and I had to organize myself differently. I got my ex-mother in law to come take care of the kids one evening a week for swim training, and brought the kids over to their dad’s place another evening for the run training, and then I go swimming on the weekends when the kids are with their dad. Bike practice hasn’t started yet but it’s supposed to be during the weekend.
We got back together and then split up again just two days ago, so I’m back to square one. Unfortunately, one of the reasons why I keep going back to this bad relationship is that I’m scared to be alone. He’s not an entirely bad guy (don’t worry, no abuse going on here) but I know that I’d be better off alone for a while. So now, I need to figure out how I can keep training, which is something that I love and need, but the guilt is starting to kill me in advance! Let me explain…
I feel guilty about a lot of things in general, and am working on that in therapy, but I currently have two choices: either I help my kids become independent for one swim training a week, or I drop swim training and only get it in one weekend out of two when they’re with their dad. Re-reading myself, I have this feeling that I’m making a mountain out of an anthill, but maybe somebody can relate? Luckily the triathlon club offers swim training in the evening or very early in the morning, I coached the kids to stay alone for the 2.5 hours that I needed in the evening, but it’s right before bed time and they didn’t like that, so after talking about it with them, we’re now going to try the morning training, which means that I’m gone before they get up and they have to get ready and go to school alone. The swim session finishes just 30 minutes before school starts, so I’ll be able to quickly call and make sure everything’s fine before they head out.
I can’t afford to hire a babysitter, but live in an apartment building where I can count on neighbors to be available if there’s a problem.
That was a very long-winded post but I felt that it was necessary to explain the background to give y’all a complete picture.
I would love to hear from other mothers/stepmothers/caregivers that have children to take care of and have to balance that with your love of sports and training for one or several!
All the best,
lovebug