how do you choose just one cat??

[badger]

I've been bestowed with the unenviable task of choosing just one cat from the SPCA to be adopted by probably one of the best homes in the world: my parents.

My mother refuses to step foot in it because she can't bear to look at all the sad homelss souls. My dad was supposed to come with me but he spiked a fever and wasn't feeling well.

So I went, and there were SO many. They have about 70 cats available. And they're all very nice with their own little quirks. How in the world am I supposed to pick ONE??

Problem is, my mother wants a sad one with very little prospect of finding a home. But the really sad thing is, there are so many of them in that boat. So how in the world do I choose? :confused:

[Eden]

Ask the staff which cat they think is a great cat, but has little to no chance of being adopted. They'll probably know who deserves to go home with you. Until recently (I started working more) I was volunteering at a humane society. I'd always have been able to tell you who I thought deserved it most. (my shelter was no kill - I don't think I'd have been able to bear it otherwise, but kitties could stay a loooooooong time before finding a home or passing away naturally)

[badger]

yeah, I've asked and sadly it's usually "they all do". In my head I've got a short list of sorts, but it's really hard to choose as they're all sweet. Some are understandably distressed/depressed, and know they will get even more overlooked the longer they stay. They've all been discarded, so they all deserve to find good homes.

Thankfully ours is a no-kill shelter, or I doubt I'd be able to go knowing I can save only one.

[lph]

I was selfish and picked the most outgoing, confident one, the one they'd have no trouble finding a home for. They told me about some of the other ones that had been there a long time and really needed a home, but we were taking ONE cat home, one to play with our son and get along in a small apartment with small gardens and other cats outside, and a shy or traumatized cat would not be happy in our surroundings and family.

It's still one cat less in the shelter. If we could have more I would happily take the more "difficult" cats, but my dh refuses to have more than one cat and I have to respect that. So this is our one family cat.

Hey, if it was up to me I'd probably turn into one of those cat ladies who lives in the woods with a zillion cats all over the place :rolleyes:

Try asking your mother if she wants a friendly cat, or can tolerate a shy, aloof or independent one. What about a nervous cat that will easily bite or claw? The most "deserving" cats in the shelter we visited were either quite aggressive, or apathetic and very quiet :(

[JennK13]

I am such a cat person and it kills me going to the shelter and seeing all those beautiful creatures there, so sad without a home. I have always adopted adult cats, as most people want kittens. Adopting a kitten was the most difficult thing I've had to do.
See, my persian died last year at the ripe age of 17. When he passed, my other cat, Jagger, went into a horrible state of depression. She doesnt like other cats, but our old man had been there all her life. The vet said to get her a kitten, as it would be less of a threat to her than a cat. But going to the shelter to pick out a cute little kitten when there were all these beautiful cats was torture for me. My dh doesnt like me going because he knows I want them all, and how bad I feel when I come home.
No advice, just hugs for you, because I know what it's like.

[Becky]

Like Eden, I used to volunteer at a humane society. Definitely ask the staff who their "diamond in the rough" is. A lot of animals don't show well in the stressful shelter environment, and the staff and volunteers will know which cats meet that description.

You also might consider adopting a cat who must be an "only cat" or an adult cat. Either will have lower chances of adoption...

Good luck!

[bmccasland]

When I went to the shelter to pick out a kitty, most of them ignored me. One cat stuck his entire arm through the cage, trying to snag me.
Me, me, pick me!!!
So I took him out, and he nuzzled on my neck, then perched on my shoulder. When I told the staff I was choosing him, they said - "oh you're taking the climber". At the time I had verticle blinds, so there wasn't much in my apartment he could climb. I was sold with his charm. He's been my steady beau for 16 years.

He was a Christmas cat, and got his name because the first weekend I had him, my other cat, Bonnie, beat up on him, so I took new kitty with me to a picnic. When he woke up from his nap, and found himself once again behind bars (in a crate), he cried very loudly. My friends proclaimed: "Hark, the Herald, cries". Once we took him out of the crate, he calmed down, and he was perfectly happy to ride around in the hood of my coat.



So Badger, it isn't an easy task, but go to the shelter, and see what kitty reacts to you, or you take a notion towards. They're all cute, and they all need homes.

[Roadtrip]

My last trip to the SPCA the pup picked me... almost literally. He was standing by the front door when we walked in like the greeter at Wal-Mart. He steadily followed us around as we looked at all of the other dogs. I began to wonder if this pup already belonged to someone as he was REALLY friendly and was loose where all the other dogs were in cages. No lead. No collar. Nothing. Finally one of the workers came by must have saw my expression and said oh, that's Teddy.. he's such a good boy we often let him run loose and she pointed at an empty cage and Teddy quietly walked into the cage, turned to look at us, and sat down. We did the rest of the circuit and before I knew it I was standing back in front of Teddy's cage. He was one of the older dogs in the place, but he wasn't barking or flipping out, he was the calmest dogs in the shelter. We took him that day.

I know not all have a instant connection like that. I was lucky to find the perfect dog.

Wish you luck on finding the right kitty!!

[jessmarimba]

If it helps at all, black cats have less of a chance of getting adopted - they just aren't as cute to most people. Plus they don't photograph well, so any shelter that relies on something like Petfinder puts black cats at a disadvantage (mine, in photos, looks like a blob with two laser-eyes).

[zoom-zoom]

We've only adopted 1 shelter cat...the rest of them have found us (we have sucker written on our foreheads in an invisible script that only cats can read, apparently). It was very difficult taking just 1 home.

Badger, whichever kitty you choose is going to be SO lucky, from the sound of it. Like others have said, all of these kitties are deserving and this will be one less kitty without a loving home. This is a wonderful thing!

[roadie gal]

I have no idea on picking one cat. I've always gotten my cats in 2s, and always from the shelter.

I agree with the others, ask the folks at the shelter to point out a cat for you. They know the cats' personalities and quirks.

Good luck!

[badger]

My 17 year old cat chose me when I went looking, and she's been with me for 16 years now.

As nice as it is to be chosen, ultimately this kitty is going to my parents so being chosen isn't a necessity.

Here are the front runners:
Lexus (http://bcspcapets.shelterbuddy.com/animal/animalDetails.asp?animalid=113196&result=42&statusID=3) has been at the shelter since January :( He was cuddly, but only on his terms as he bit me, and started to do the kitty-kick attack. Could be he was frustrated? I wouldn't write him off.

Bubbles (http://bcspcapets.shelterbuddy.com/animal/animalDetails.asp?animalid=115504&result=46&statusID=3) is a bit on the older side of my parents' criteria. In fact, she probably is too old for them. One of their stipulations is that the cat be without any medical issues and one that they'll be able to have for longer than a few years. She's overlooked because she really does just stay up on her perch, but is very nice when you go up to her.

Boo (http://bcspcapets.shelterbuddy.com/animal/animalDetails.asp?animalid=118612&result=52&statusID=3). I've not been able to get him out of my mind. He first caught my eye because he's a bigger version of my female cat who I also call Boo. He's in a bigger room with about 10 cats, and he stayed back a bit while the more gregarious ones flocked me. When I petted him, he started kneading his pillow, and jumped up behind me on the chair. He's also made friends with another cat and apparently they like to groom each other. He seems very gentle and nurturing.

and Yang (http://bcspcapets.shelterbuddy.com/animal/animalDetails.asp?animalid=120667&result=55&statusID=3). No picture, but she's all black. She probably had the best temperament of all I saw yesterday. She was in isolation due to having a kitty cold and snotty nose, but super friendly and very cuddly. Another stipulation of my parents is that they be friendly and cuddly; their last cat wasn't very affectionate and they like to sleep with their cats.

And really, there are so many more but I find these to have the qualities my parents are looking for, and are or have been overlooked.

[Biciclista]

I'm leaning towards Yang. Lexus bit you and might bite your mother/father.
Bubbles - you have already eliminated.
Boo sounds like he's going to get a home no matter what.
but Yang is a little shy and black. She needs you .

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I will add another suggestion-
cats that are otherwise healthy and loving, but have one eye, or three legs, or a twisted leg due to some accident, etc....those are cats that get passed up for adoption often, for cosmetic reasons, but they may be very healthy and well adjusted and will live long normal loving lives despite their disability.

[badger]

oh, trust me Bleek, I'm the first to offer up a cat/dog with "disabilities". There's one cat with neurological problems in foster but up for adoption that I'm personally interested in. There actually aren't many disabled cats - in fact, aside from the 3 legged calico (who's a bit stand off-ish), there aren't any.

As of after lunch, I'm down to two: Boo and Yang. I feel like the bachelor having to make that final decision. They're both very nice kitties.

[Maxxxie]

Badger,

Boo sounds like the perfect cat for you. You haven't been able to get him out of your mind.

But Yang sounds like she might be a better match for your parents. Super friendly, cuddly etc.

Either way, I think you're doing a great thing. Whichever kitty you pick will have a great life with your parents. :)

Max

[badger]

I have a question for all you cat rescuers. While I've grown up with cats, we've only ever had one pair that really liked each other. As in grooming and sleeping together.

If I were to choose a cat that has a friend, or is a sibling who grew up together, will they be affected by their separation?

[bmccasland]

Every individual is different. My only experience was with the death of one of a pair. Herald and Erin were best of buds, he was her "big" brother in may ways, including mass, easily twice her size. Erin was the runt of her litter, was sick much of her life, and despite efforts from me and her vet, had a shorter life, passing after 11 years. Anyway, for a while Herald moped and looked for her, but I think he knew she was dieing too. But we cuddled, and life went on. I gave him some extra treats, life's routine continued (cats like a stable routine too).

Younger cats go off and explore the world, making new friends along the way. Each of my cats were adopted as individuals, so who makes friends, or only tolerates the existance of the other is entirely up to them.

Any kitty you pick will be fine. ;)

[jessmarimba]

Depends on the cat! Most will be fine. I had two that hated each other and one died of cancer - the other one was very depressed for a few weeks until I got her another friend. It wasn't so much the cat she was attached to as the company.

Slightly different situation, but my friend's cat had her only litter of kittens taken away too early (before she was adopted), and eleven years later she still mothers a litter of socks.

[PscyclePath]

While I'm not that much of a cat person, my cats have usually saved me the trouble by picking me, I guess. The neighbor way down the road apparently has a cat factory of some sort, and occasionally a kitten gets lost and turns up in the yard. I don't particularly care for cats, but I absolutely can't abide hungry cats, and so they get a square meal, and settle in for the duration. They officially have names, but generally answer to "Hey, Cat!"

[badger]

yeah, my two hate each other, too. When my younger one went in for his radioactive iodine treatment and was away for a week, the older one just LOVED having me and the place all to herself. You'd think after 10 years they'd reach some sort of peace, but they truly hate each other.

Last night I was very depressed, because I was looking through the pages looking for ones who have been there the longest (there are 91 available for adoption right now :( ) and they were all senior, black cats. One was turned in at the age of 15 because someone developed allergies. Call me callous, but you'd think that person could take allergy meds until the poor cat passed. I'm thinking of taking her in; no one should have to spend their last days in a chaotic shelter.

[badger]

Slightly different situation, but my friend's cat had her only litter of kittens taken away too early (before she was adopted), and eleven years later she still mothers a litter of socks.

that's really cute!!

****


I'm actually wondering about the separating of friends/siblings for the ones left behind. I guess I'm anthropomorphizing too much.

[zoom-zoom]

One was turned in at the age of 15 because someone developed allergies. Call me callous, but you'd think that person could take allergy meds until the poor cat passed. I'm thinking of taking her in; no one should have to spend their last days in a chaotic shelter.


My mom is allergic to cats. They have 3. I have pretty much carbon-copy allergies as my mom (have never been tested, but we're both sick at the same time of the year with the seasonal stuff). I take Zyrtec every day, year-round. I'd rather be a little sick, than to live without my furbabies (we have 4).

[badger]

you wouldn't believe how many cats are in there due to allergies. Another was in there because they had a baby. To me those just aren't valid enough reasons to give up a friend.

[Eden]

All the time I volunteered at the shelter I figured 99% of the reasons people turned in pets were bogus....

new baby? silliness - plain and simple
allergies - get some claratin (I test allergic to cats and I don't actually have any reaction unless the particular cat is *really* high in allergens. Then entire time I volunteered only a few cats ever made me react)
moving - sure right - I'd never move somewhere that would make me give up my babies....

The cats I sometimes felt the worst for were the elders whose owners had were also elderly and could no longer care for them or had passed away. That was the one of the few reasons I figured was probably true, rather than he's no longer a kitten and I'm tired of him.....

As far as getting along - my two are pretty good buddies. They sleep together and groom one another. They get irritated at one another and take a swat every once in a while, but mostly they are friends. Koji was a foundling. He was a tiny kitten (about 7-9 weeks) when I found him outside and I had an elderly guy already at that time. My old boy never did really like the kitten, but Koji wanted to be around him all the time. The old guy passed away when Koji was 3 and we didn't want him to be alone, so I went to the shelter to find him a new companion. Shio was about 6 months when I got her and the pair got along well from the beginning. We tried the keep them separated and introduce slowly plan - but both of them were so desperate to see each other that we ended up letting them be totally together about after 2 days.

[badger]

aww, that's nice they took to each other. Mine just hate each other, quite literally. The younger (bigger) one took a swipe at the older one a couple of years ago and got her in the leg - peeled her skin right back and needed surgery to fix it.

I'm leaning very much towards Boo at this point. I called them and asked what happens if they're caught with two cats (their condo allows only one pet).

My dad was saying it's all cow poopie, and he was very open to two cats. Which made me so happy, because then I could bring Boo's friend with him. But my mother said it would be too much to start with two, especially when my dad's sick and she'll be away for a month in a few weeks. I'm hoping that if he's still around when she gets back, Boo would've settled in and they might be open to a friend for him.

As for people turning animals in for the lamest reasons, I guess what I have to tell myself is that while the shelter isn't the best place, it's a better place than they were in! Quite a number of them were left in the apartment when their owners moved - they can't even be bothered to surrender them to the spca! people like that should never have animals to begin with.

[Crankin]

I am probably going to get flamed here, but I think allergies are a very valid reason to have to give up a cat. I don't have cat allergies, but I have friends who do. Even with taking a Claritin, etc. they would be miserable if they came to my house when my cat was alive. And maybe those people with the baby had a cat that was jumping on and clawing the baby. Our first cat used to attack women (not kidding here). The night we came home and our teenage babysitter (who had many animals) had a bleeding cut on her face from the cat, and she finally had to lock the cat in the bathroom was the night we decided to find it another home.
I have other allergies and I cannot take Claritin for more than a day or two, without it making me unable to sleep and giving me palpitations. Other stuff just makes me sleepy (Zyrtec, etc).
Obviously, you shouldn't get a cat if you *know* you are allergic to them, but almost all of my allergies developed when i was well into my thirties, so it's not a bogus thing.
I guess I am the weird one here, but not everyone has the same degree of "love" for animals.

[Eden]

Maybe once in a blue moon the baby or allergy excuse is valid (I know of one case where the guys cat died and he got a new one - went from long haired to short and was ironically very allergic to the new cat when he'd been fine with the old one....)- but nearly every cat who comes through has one of the following

moving (probably #1)
allergies
baby
too many (I'll accept this one - better the shelter than a hoarder...)
can't afford (sometimes this is valid too- we did get cats with health problems that were better off at the shelter where they could get good care)

Still, 99.99% of them are really - I just don't want this animal anymore, its no longer young and no longer cute and just a pain to take care of, from people who should probably have never had a pet in the first place. No one will actually say this of course, so they have to have something that sounds more valid than I'm tired of this animal.

[indysteel]

I am probably going to get flamed here, but I think allergies are a very valid reason to have to give up a cat. I don't have cat allergies, but I have friends who do. Even with taking a Claritin, etc. they would be miserable if they came to my house when my cat was alive. And maybe those people with the baby had a cat that was jumping on and clawing the baby. Our first cat used to attack women (not kidding here). The night we came home and our teenage babysitter (who had many animals) had a bleeding cut on her face from the cat, and she finally had to lock the cat in the bathroom was the night we decided to find it another home.
I have other allergies and I cannot take Claritin for more than a day or two, without it making me unable to sleep and giving me palpitations. Other stuff just makes me sleepy (Zyrtec, etc).
Obviously, you shouldn't get a cat if you *know* you are allergic to them, but almost all of my allergies developed when i was well into my thirties, so it's not a bogus thing.
I guess I am the weird one here, but not everyone has the same degree of "love" for animals.

I agree with you, Crankin. I absolutely love my cats, but if they were truly making me or a loved one sick, then I would consider rehoming them. I suffer from seasonal allergies. Even with daily meds, I still have really bad days/weeks. It's not just that I have a runny nose or itchy eyes. I just feel like poo and have almost zero energy. I've tried different drugs; I still get breakthrough allergies. I also get sinus infections from them, so it's no small problem.

IMO, allergies can pose some serious medical conditions, especially for those with asthma or other autoimmune issues. Granted, I'm sure some people who give up their pets use "allergies" as a pretextual reason, but for those who truly suffer from them, I don't think it's my place to minimize or dismiss how they feel.

[tulip]

Crankin, I agree with you. I grew up with cats. At one point we had 26, mostly barn cats and strays that stuck around. I had one favorite cat that I got when I was 10 and that died when I was 31 (okay so I had moved out way before then, but the cat stayed at my parents house and became my younger brother's cat). I loved cats; they slept on my head. We always seemed to attract pregnant strays that ended up having kittens in my closet.

I had a terrible time with what turned out to be allergies, although on one thought to actually take me to a doctor even after years of chronic bronchitis, chronic sinus problems, and trouble breathing (yes, it turned out to be allergy-related asthma diagnosed YEARS after I had moved away from home). I even lost sight in one eye due to no-one-knows-what. One theory is histoplasmosis or something similar, which can be related to cats.

If you have a baby, or if your child develops allergies, or if you end up having to care for an elderly relative who is allergic to cats, then yeah--the cat does not come first. I don't advocate abandoning the cat, but finding it a good home is perfectly reasonable.

[Eden]

Granted, I'm sure some people who give up their pets use "allergies" as a pretextual reason, but for those who truly suffer from them, I don't think it's my place to minimize or dismiss how they feel.

It's not minimizing those with allergies (I have seasonal allergies and I wouldn't adopt a birch tree....). It's about people probably who do not have allergies just using it as a convenient excuse.....

If you've had a cat for a few years its not all that likely that all of the sudden you'll have developed terrible, untreatable allergies to it (and definitely unlikely in the huge numbers of pets who are given up)...... If someone adopted a cat and a few weeks later realized that they had terrible allergies (like the doc I worked with) I could see it, but on the intake forms there was also a space for how long have you had this pet - most people suddenly develop their allergies after they've had the cat for quite some time, usually around right the age they stop being a cute little kitten....

You won't convince me that most people don't tell the truth when they drop animals off at the shelter.... I'm not saying they shouldn't shelter their unwanted pets - better they go to the shelter, especially a no kill shelter, than the worse things that could happen. Then again if you aren't willing to commit to a pet for a lifetime, better to not get one in the first place....
(and for goodness sake spay and neuter!)

[indysteel]

It's not minimizing those with allergies (I have seasonal allergies and I wouldn't adopt a birch tree....). It's about people probably who do not have allergies just using it as a convenient excuse.....

If you've had a cat for a few years its not all that likely that all of the sudden you'll have developed terrible, untreatable allergies to it (and definitely unlikely in the huge numbers of pets who are given up)...... If someone adopted a cat and a few weeks later realized that they had terrible allergies (like the doc I worked with) I could see it, but on the intake forms there was also a space for how long have you had this pet - most people suddenly develop their allergies after they've had the cat for quite some time, usually around right the age they stop being a cute little kitten....

You won't convince me that most people don't tell the truth when they drop animals off at the shelter.... I'm not saying they shouldn't shelter their unwanted pets - better they go to the shelter, especially a no kill shelter, than the worse things that could happen. Then again if you aren't willing to commit to a pet for a lifetime, better to not get one in the first place....
(and for goodness sake spay and neuter!)

My season allergies started when I was about 30 and didn't start gettng really bad until age 35, so from my limited experience, it's possible for allergies to develop seemingly out of nowhere and/or to worsen over time. My allergy symtoms also change from year to year. Some years, I have itchy, watery eyes. Some years I have a lot of sneezing. This year, I had a mean case of post nasal drip to the point that I had trouble swallowing. Some symptoms are easier to tolerate than others. Some years my drugs work better than others, too. It's a moving target.

It's one thing to blame allergies when that's really not the reason a person is getting rid of a pet. I think we both have a problem with that. But your original post seemed to suggest, at least to me, that people with pet allergies should just take a drug and deal with it. I'm sure some do and feel like it's an acceptable solution. Allergy meds do work for many. For others, however, rehoming might either be the necessary or preferred way to deal with the problem.

[NbyNW]

How goes with the decision-making? It must be agonizing. Boo seems like a sweetheart, but I think it's true about black kitties taking longer to find homes...

Our black puppydog was in foster care for a long, long time! But we're lucky he waited for us! :D

[badger]

How goes with the decision-making? It must be agonizing. Boo seems like a sweetheart, but I think it's true about black kitties taking longer to find homes...

Our black puppydog was in foster care for a long, long time! But we're lucky he waited for us! :D

well, I believe I made the decision with Boo. But a part of me feels SOO guilty for not choosing Yang because I know her colour will play a part in her future adoptability. But Boo is quiet and might get overlooked and a bit older.

Boo's just plain lovely. Who knows, he may change once he's adopted and turn out to be a pain, but I'll take full responsibility and take him if worse comes to worst.

There are just so many homeless cats, it's oh so depressing.

[badger]

as for the argument on allergies, I guess that's my fault as I was the one who brought up the 15 year old cat who was brought in due to someone's allergies.

Rehoming is a lot more difficult than just dumping at the shelter, which is what people seem to be doing.

I would imagine a lot of those allergy cases are cat owners hooking up with partners who are allergic. Probably the usual "it's me or the cat" thing. I'm just so thankful that my boyfriend's not allergic, and while he's not overly fond of cats, he will never deny me from having them. It would kill me if I fell in love with someone who was allergic.

[TsPoet]

Boo's just plain lovely. Who knows, he may change once he's adopted and turn out to be a pain, but I'll take full responsibility and take him if worse comes to worst.

There are just so many homeless cats, it's oh so depressing.

Your first description of Boo, you said you couldn't get him out of your mind - I thought right away that was the cat that had chosen you!
Murphy (dog) chose me in an odd way, and he's my heart dog. Finn (dog) didn't choose me and it took months for the two of us to decide we liked each other. I almost brought her back to the shelter.
Boo will be good right off the bat. Good choice.

[badger]

this is what happened with Morley, too. I saw him at the hospital, all full of staples after being hit by a car, unable to see or move, but was purring (I didn't realize then he was probably purring because he was in a lot of pain) and I just couldn't get him out of my mind. 10 years later he's giving ME pain, but I love him to bits.

I'm just having really bad guilt trips not choosing Yang, but it's wrong to choose her simply on the reverse logic of black cats being overlooked, no? Don't get me wrong, she's lovely, too, but something about Boo just really got me.

[Crankin]

Thanks for understanding my point. We didn't get another cat (although we missed our cat who died at age 14) because we know we don't want the responsibility and that wouldn't be fair. I come from a family of animal haters and just having a pet was a really big deal for me... it was great for my kids and I really came to love her. But, the kids are gone and I knew my limits.
I guess some people don't. But both of my kids have cats (one has 2) which at this point, are their children.

[jessmarimba]

I'm sure Yang will find someone...you did what you could do! Thank you for helping Boo find a home :)

[redrhodie]

Yay for Boo! It's such a hard decision, but you've helped all of them by making it one less for the next person to choose from.

[Eden]

Thanks for understanding my point. We didn't get another cat (although we missed our cat who died at age 14) because we know we don't want the responsibility and that wouldn't be fair. I come from a family of animal haters and just having a pet was a really big deal for me... it was great for my kids and I really came to love her. But, the kids are gone and I knew my limits.
I guess some people don't. But both of my kids have cats (one has 2) which at this point, are their children.

Nobody thinks you should get another cat..... you did the right thing. You knew you didn't want to commit to a pet and you didn't, rather than getting one and throwing it away when you tired of it....

I know some of the pets there do end up in the shelter for legitimate reasons, but so many of them are there because their owners have lost interest. It's sad.

[badger]

Ok, I SERIOUSLY need help...

I was all set to get Boo adopted, but he's in an area where he's locked up so I waited for the volunteer to open the door for me. During that time, I started looking at the black cat I decided against (not Yang, the other one that's been there since January). I just started feeling so bad.

I then had to make the bad decision to ask the volunteer who's been there the longest. She said Gizmo (http://bcspcapets.shelterbuddy.com/animal/animalDetails.asp?animalid=109222&result=39&statusID=3), she's been there since November of last year. Which, to that shelter, is a long time. She also said that Gizmo's lost her spark and you can tell she's starting to give up.

That broke my heart. She said Boo's very charismatic and he will just sell himself, whereas Gizmo has and will be overlooked.

Long and short, I just couldn't do it so we left both at the shelter for me to think about it some more.

I'm honestly torn. Boo has adoption appeal. He's a VERY nice cat with a very serene soul. Anyone would be lucky to have him. Then there's poor little Gizmo overlooked because she's black and quiet.

My mother understands my dilemma, and said she will be happy with either of them, though her heart does tug on Gizmo's long stay there. Boo's been there since April, so it's not like he's been lapped up, either.

I really wish they could take both. I'm reluctant to take one myself because I always figured that I'll open my home to a really unadoptable one with special needs of some kind (as are both of mine).

Please, I need guidance, and nobody's able to give me :(

[Veronica]

I love black cats. My first cat ever was a black cat named Swinger. I was 8 or so when we got him. My mom didn't believe in getting cats neutered or keeping them inside then, so we only had him for a few years and he disappeared.

Gizmo has such a pretty face and wonderful eyes.

Veronica

[jessmarimba]

Gizmo is cute too! I couldn't be in your situation - I won't even go to a shelter now because I wouldn't be able to leave empty-handed. Whichever decision you make will be right. Honestly.

Very cool about the special needs animals though. My cat who died of cancer was blind (and black, and disgustingly skinny with greasy-looking fur and a bald spot on her back) and I ended up with her because I knew she wouldn't be given a chance at our shelters, but she was absolutely an amazing cat. I'm hoping to someday adopt another blind one.

[PamNY]

If you've had a cat for a few years its not all that likely that all of the sudden you'll have developed terrible, untreatable allergies to it (and definitely unlikely in the huge numbers of pets who are given up)......

Actually, that has happened to two people I know -- one of them I live with, the other is a veterinarian. In these two cases, it was heartbreaking and life-changing. Asthma is not a joke.

Having said that, it is true that people make all kinds of excuses when relinquishing a pet to a shelter or rescue. I'm sure many of those allergies are fictional, or at least manageable.

Badger, good luck deciding on a cat. It is heartbreaking to visit a shelter at all, but there's a happy ending awaiting some lucky feline!

[NbyNW]

oh, my. what a tough decision.

[Catrin]

Allergies do get worse though, at least for some of us. I've always been allergic to cats but learned to deal with it because I love cats. A couple of years ago, however, my allergies got much worse and my beloved Jasmine had to go to another home. I can be around cats for short times, but can no longer live around them. Claritan, etc., just didn't help. The asthma attacks were just too severe. Since Jasmine went away, my asthma has completly disappeared...

I can't say how much I miss having a cat or two around, and there is no other kind of pet that I want... can't think of anything else that can curl up beside me or on my lap and purrrrr... Somehow the idea of a bird or reptile just doesn't do it for me, and they say I am also allergic to dogs :(

I am sure that people make all different kinds of excuses to get rid of a pet...

Badger, good luck on your decision - I wish that I could say something that would help with the decision. It is a tough one, for sure.

[PscyclePath]

My lady friends who have cats all say that if you're going to get _A_ cat, you might as well get two while you're at it. With two cats, they'll either play together and not pester you as much, or they'll both gang up on you and pester you anyway.

Sounds like you have an opportunity there for two good friends, if the budget will allow it...

Tom

[tulip]

The condo association won't allow two, that's the problem.

Badger, I think you're overthinking this and making yourself crazy. You cannot save all the cats. You know this. But hemming and hawing is not doing any of the cats any favors. Take one, whichever one, and be happy with that decision. You are doing a good thing. Don't beat yourself up about it.

[badger]

thanks, Tulip, you've hit the nail bang on the head.

I did go back to the shelter again to check out Gizmo a bit more. She's a nice cat, but the reality is we'll only be taking her out of pity. If that's the case, why are we overlooking the other cats who are seniors, have medical and/or behavioural challenges? Their chances of adoption aren't that great.

Gizmo happens to be there a long time, but hopefully by putting her in a different room where there will be more exposure, she will find someone to adopt. While she's a nice cat and never denied my affections, she "just wasn't that into me". She didn't look at me as I left the room, whereas Boo was looking.

This really has been a lot more difficult than I ever imagined it would be. In a perfect world, all animals would have loving forever homes, but the reality is so few do :(

[badger]

we went and got Boo. He's at my parents' place. He's apparently hiding under the sofa right now.

What should be a fun and exciting time, why is it that I feel so drained and depressed? I even had to cry when I got home.

It's not just Gizmo, it's the massive scale of animals that are homeless. I do think the shelter's not doing enough to promote Gizmo, though. Even the staff are passing her over :( I told them I'll come by on the weekend to try and promote her to potential adopters. I think I just may do that.

[NbyNW]

Badger, you put so much care in this decision I'm not surprised that you're probably still thinking of some of the cats that you took a really close look at, as well as the bigger picture.

The reality is you can't save them all. This is probably an overwhelming decision for anyone who visits a facility like you described.

I think as you and your folks spend time with Boo and he gets accustomed to his new home, you'll know you did a good thing.

For anyone interested, I dug up this old article about strategies that some shelters were using to promote adoption, especially of black cats and dogs (http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/AmazingAnimals/pet-owners-overlook-black-dogs-cats-animal-shelters/story?id=8785177&page=1).

[Catrin]

Badger, it is totally understandable why you feel the way you are, it is hard to see all of those beautiful animals without a home.

I would take a black cat, or pretty much ANY cat, if I could :(

[PamNY]

Badger, congratulations. As in all animal rescue, you must -- at least most of the time -- focus on what you did do.

It's impossible, and ultimately self-indulgent, to obsess over the fact that we can't save them all (and I'm sure you know that already).

Hoping for funny cat stories from you very soon, and much happiness and love for the new family member.

[indysteel]

Badger,

You and your parents did a good thing; try your best of focus on that.

My DH and I are just starting to look at the available shelter cats/kittens to find our next fur baby. I'll be honest that I was nother previously aware that black cats are harder to place. I will definitely keep that in mind when choosing.

We actually already saw a young black cat from the local humane society that we both liked. He's male though, and I'm a little nervous about having two males cats. I've been trying to research whether gender matters when mixing cats, but I've ready somewhat conflicting things. If anybody has experience with that, I'd like to hear about it.

Henry, our current cat, is 10 years old, but has the playfulness of a much younger cat. He likes to be the center of attention and is a big momma's boy (although he's also quickly become a daddy's boy, too). Sophie--the cat we recently lost--was really laid back and wasn't as attention seeking as him. She was definitely the Alpha though. He knew she was in charge. So, I'm trying to find the right dynamic with a new cat/kitten.

[Veronica]

My sister has had good luck with multiple males. I think they just eventually work it out. She either has 6 or 8 cats, some male, some female. They are indoor/outdoor babies (I wish they weren't) so that may help some - more territory.

I've got two feral neutered boys in my backyard - pretty sure they are a father/son pair as they are both orange with tails that curl. They totally hang out together, groom each other, take turns playing with the mice they catch, curl up together to snooze... I think neutering is the key. :D

Veronica

[redrhodie]

What should be a fun and exciting time, why is it that I feel so drained and depressed? I even had to cry when I got home.


(((badger))) I cried at the shelter when I picked Eddy. You did great. Hiding under the sofa is completely normal. Soon he'll act like he owns the place.

[gfbikernyc]

Hey, congrats on the new cat. I volunteer with PFLNYC (it is a pet surrender prevention program and I do follow-up on new adoptions) so if you have any questions about the new cat, just give me a shout.

It's tough but now I have learned to focus on the animals we can/have saved instead of the ones we can't. Good luck

[badger]

thank you, everyone, for your kind words and support.

I just spoke to my mother and apparently he meowed a lot throughout the night. I know there's a period of adjustment they go through, and as he is a fairly fearful cat, I'm not surprised. I do know that in time he'll be comfortable and the nice cat I glimpsed will come out in leaps and bounds.

I've always been very passionate about animals (overly emotional), and I suppose my reaction isn't a big surprise. When I'm at the spca hospital, there's a certain amount of blinders I wear, or I would be coming home with every cat that needs help. But through this process, I took them off, so I was pretty vulnerable.

thanks again, everyone. I'll take a picture of him when I go there next time.

[nancielle]

we went and got Boo. He's at my parents' place. He's apparently hiding under the sofa right now.

What should be a fun and exciting time, why is it that I feel so drained and depressed? I even had to cry when I got home.

It's not just Gizmo, it's the massive scale of animals that are homeless. I do think the shelter's not doing enough to promote Gizmo, though. Even the staff are passing her over :( I told them I'll come by on the weekend to try and promote her to potential adopters. I think I just may do that.

Love the cat's name :).

I think many of us here feel the same way about homeless animals, we'd like to be able to save all of them but just can't. You made a difference in Boo's life by adopting him. Someone will make a difference in the lives of the others. One of our local shelters regularly posts pictures (and some videos) as well as brief bios on the pets they have for adoption on one of the public access channels. For months they had an elderly dog (17 years old) waiting for a new home. Every time I saw his face I'd say "I'll bring you home" but knew I couldn't provide the home he needed (I'm on the 2nd floor, he has arthritic knees...not a good match). After more than a year they had his picture up and the words "He's found his forever home!" I teared up when I saw that. I was so happy for him.

Anyway, when I'm out getting food for my pack I pick up some extra to drop off at the shelter and some for a local rescue group. I figure that it's my way of taking care of the ones I can't bring home and it keeps me from being featured on Animal Planet's "Animal Horders". :D

[Aggie_Ama]

I feel sad if I watch shows on shelters but when we got our shelter cat I felt extremely great. I did something great for one cat which is what I could do and she will have a lifetime of love because of us. Unfortunately I can't save them all but I did save this one. Your parents could save one and they did! Boo is luckier today than he was before they stepped in.

My local kill shelter said they have trouble adopting black and declawed cats. My cat was declawed, I don't like the procedure but I had one cat killed by a car when I was 12 so I personally will not have an indoor/outdoor cat. I picked Tortilla based on her being a manx cat but she had been at the shelter 2 months because she was not a kitten (they had a lot) and one person who liked her didn't want an indoor only cat. She seemed reserved at the shelter and when we got her home but I knew manx cats are typically friendly. She is way different now than that shelter cat, extremely outgoing and friendly.

[badger]

well, I went and checked Boo out last night. So far, my dad has been the only one who's been able to touch him, and that was for a couple of seconds and quickly left when my dad tried to touch him beyond his head.

He's very curious and playful, though, and will come out from hiding quickly after being spooked. But understandably he's still very unsure about things. He'll play but any sudden movement or sound and he's GONE. My parents aren't concerned at all, they know it will take time for him to feel comfortable; they're actually happy that he's come this far so soon.

While he's not the friendly cuddly type they requested, I'm hopeful he'll turn into one as I did see the cuddly side of him at the shelter.