15 yr old flying alone

[Melalvai]

Just wanted to share because this was exciting for everyone concerned. Fortunately it all went smoothly. That's a really good thing because it was awfully stressful and that's with everything goes as it is supposed to. I know some kids are old hands at flying alone, but we're not so worldly!

I put my daughter on a plane this morning. She's flying to Spanish Immersion Camp at Concordia Language Villages near Bemidji, Minnesota. She's flown a couple times ever in her life. She had a connecting flight in Memphis.

She flew out of the regional airport, which was great because security is easy. There are only 2 flights out of that airport each day. My biggest concern was making the connection in Memphis. She called me and I kept her on the phone until she told me she was looking at her next gate. Then I let her get lunch!

The other concern was in St. Paul, where the camp staff are supposed to meet her. They were right where they said they'd be, at her gate when she disembarked. She's fed & sheltered though homesick!

She gets to do it all over again in two weeks. The staff will make sure she gets on her flight in St. Paul, she'll do the connection in Memphis again, and we'll meet her at the regional airport.

[Tuckervill]

I wish I could go there.

She'll be an old hand at it when she gets back. :)

Karen

[Crankin]

Ah, my kids flew alone (supervised by flight attendants) when they were 5.
Granted, it was a 30 minute flight from Phoenix to San Diego, to visit grandparents, but they couldn't wait until they were old enough for this!

[Biciclista]

yeah, mine flew at age 7.. Back in those days, it was just not a big deal.

[Crankin]

I would still do the same thing today, at least with my own kids, who could handle it.
I flew by myself lots of times, up and down the east coast in high school. I remember one time, when I was coming back from Boston, to go home to Miami, and we had a very long (hours) weather delay. They gave out free champagne, and readily served me! That, of course, would not happen today.
Don't get me started on how parents don't give their kids enough credit to be able to handle these things. Of course, kids are all different, but the attitude of fear today just doesn't sit well with me.

[Biciclista]

I'm with you, Crankin. My kids took the bus around town as teens and went out to play even while little without me supervising them constantly. I cannot imagine having had to raise them the way it is now. I think I'd still tell them to go out and play.

[NbyNW]

What a milestone, Melalvai, and thanks for sharing!

Between your daughter's flying experience and the Spanish immersion, it's exciting to think of the opportunities that will be open to her!

... I remember flying up to NYC around that age to visit my aunt, and she was able to meet me and my sister at the gate. :eek:

[Irulan]

to take it one step further, try it with out the cell phone next time. "I'll pick you up at baggage claim, or out front". I would think a 15 year old who can go off to camp by herself can find her way around an airport by reading signs or asking directions. Think of what a confidence builder that is, as compared to keeping Mom on the line the whole time. It is amazing to to see what they can do on their own, with out a parent hovering to make sure nothing goes wrong.

I'm with crankin here.... my jaw just about dropped when I read " She called me and I kept her on the phone until she told me she was looking at her next gate." Life is not always going to have someone to hold your hand via cell phone, and at 15.....she should be encouraged to have the brain power to figure some of these adult-like things out on her own. Just my two cents of course: I think it's important for teens to have opportunities to figure things out on their own, have some responsibility, etc. ( and yes, I have now-adult kids, I'm not just spouting philosophy. I've BTDT)

[Deborajen]

Sounds like she's doing great, Melalvai! First time is always a little nervous. And there really are full-grown family-raising adults that can't even handle traveling and airports and flying, so concern is o.k. You won't have to worry about your daughter becoming one of those adults.

I flew to Texas by myself to visit my cousins when I was 9. Had a connecting flight in Denver where I had another aunt and uncle and they came out and had a donut with me between flights. Everything went o.k., and I felt so "grown up."

Your daughter will have some great memories, and you'll feel so much better as she grows up that she's had a few experiences like this.

[tulip]

Wow, I was flying with my younger brother when I was 6 years old (with airline staff escorting from gate to gate, until I was about 12 or so)...but everyone is different. I agree with Irulan to perhaps consider letting her navigate herself through the airport on the way back. Just an idea; not my kid, I get that everyone has their own style. My own brother (who flew only with me starting when he was 4) just this year sent his kid to overnight camp--at age 11! His daughter at 13 still hasn't been to overnight camp. I was going to overnight camp at age 7 and loving it.

I hope your daughter has a great time. Perhaps she can go to Spanish immersion camp in Spain/Latin America next year, for a month at least, living with a local family...that's the best way to learn the language and culture, and having a good base beforehand makes it much more enjoyable.

[Irulan]

Wow, I was flying with my younger brother when I was 6 years old (with airline staff escorting from gate to gate, until I was about 12 or so)...but everyone is different. I agree with Irulan to perhaps consider letting her navigate herself through the airport on the way back. Just an idea; not my kid, I get that everyone has their own style. My own brother (who flew only with me starting when he was 4) just this year sent his kid to overnight camp--at age 11! His daughter at 13 still hasn't been to overnight camp. I was going to overnight camp at age 7 and loving it.

I hope your daughter has a great time. Perhaps she can go to Spanish immersion camp in Spain/Latin America next year, for a month at least, living with a local family...that's the best way to learn the language and culture, and having a good base beforehand makes it much more enjoyable.

Also, travelling like that can be very empowering, as in "wow I made it through the Mexico City airport solo!!"

[Crankin]

Yep, my kids went to overnight camp at ages 8/10. They went together. When I grew up, I was the only one who didn't go (my family rented a beach house) to camp. I always felt on the outside when everyone else talked about their summer camp experiences. I wish I had gone to language immersion camp!
A funny experience to relate: When I first moved back to the Boston area, my kids were 5 and almost 8. I took them into town on the commuter rail and trolley, and I remember walking across the Boston Common and saying, "OK, we'll take this other trolley station back to the rail line." My kids asked me in awe how I knew where to go. I replied that I had been doing this when I was 11 and you don't lose your memory for where the stops are!
My older son started taking the train into Boston, with friends when he was about 14 or 15. It was "shocking" to some of his friend's parents that I let him do this. Since he had been using public transportation with me since he was little, it was no big deal. His fiancee told me she rode the city bus to school when she was 7, and even had responsibility for younger kids on the bus when she was 8 or 9.
And I don't buy that "things are different today."

[Deborajen]

But things are different. When I was growing up, nobody registered for the draft. Being in the military didn't involve anywhere near the likelihood of being sent into a war situation. 9/11 hadn't happened.-- Lots of differences.

Yes, some people have gone overly nuts trying to protect their kids, but things definitely are different now. In some ways, I was more cautious in raising my son than my parents were in raising me. In other ways, I was more lax. I've always worked full-time and had to trust daycare and babysitters more than my mom did.

Some kids are very unsupervised nowadays, too. Not to disagree entirely with the overprotectiveness comments, and nothing personal against anyone who actually teaches their kids by giving them some well-planned extra space to learn on their own, but don't get me started on the kids who take care of themselves too much. I'd rather see a parent worry a little too much.

[Irulan]

But things are different. When I was growing up, nobody registered for the draft. Being in the military didn't involve anywhere near the likelihood of being sent into a war situation. 9/11 hadn't happened.-- Lots of differences.



Registering for the selective service is mandatory now since 1980; it didn't used to be but that law was changed way before 9/11 - in 1980 under the Carter administration. So that's apples to oranges. Afghanistan, Gulf War, etc.... war situations are nothing new.

[Crankin]

Well, when I was young everyone faced a risk of being sent to war... the day the lottery was held for being sent to Viet Nam was not a good one. But, this is off topic and I am not a good person to discuss this with. For despite my anti-war views, one of my kids enlisted and is a Marine. See, you can't protect your kids! I wanted my kids to be strong and independent and that's just what happened. And there are many people who see the military just as one would see any viable career.
As a former teacher, I saw my share of kids whose needs weren't met. But, you know, this happened when I was a kid, too. It was just hidden. We had alcoholic parents, abusers, lots of moms popping pills, and I remember one dad who suddenly "disappeared" because of some funny business with his teenage daughter. And I grew up in a very nice upper middle class suburb. Yet, we were all supposed to be perfect families. My DH endured horrible verbal and physical abuse growing up. He couldn't focus in school and didn't achieve his potential until long after he left home... yet no one ever thought there was a reason for his behavior, because they didn't see the big picture. My mantra is "there is always a reason for behavior."
There's a difference between kids not having basic attachment, good parenting, or unsafe living conditions and giving your kids freedom. And most of the time, I found that there are often very good reasons for parents acting this way... poverty, substance abuse, spousal abuse, or just plain ignorance about good parenting.
Bad things have happened in history throughout time. You can't let that affect the way you live your life.

[Owlie]

My parents are risk-averse. I didn't fly alone until I was in college. (Not that there was any reason to, as there weren't any relatives to send me to visit.)
They still told me to call them when I got to the gate for my connecting flights. :rolleyes: BF's parents were sending him from Florida to California to visit his aunt when he was nine.

[marni]

My best friend and I flew alone to France when we were 16!

Memories:)

I flew alone (put on a plane at one end and met at the other) routinely between LA and Salt Lake City from age 6 onwards. I started taking the train overnight also alone when I was 12 and communted back and forth by grey hound bus from LA to Albuquerque from age 10 one each summer.

It was scary a bit at times, and yes those were safer times and adults always seemed to be there if I needed help but I quite liked the independence and having my own job.

Muirenn, I just noticed you are from Beaufort. That is one lovely little place. We lived in Jacksonville nc for several years and enjoyed exploring both NC and SC. I'll bet you have some lovely riding opportunities.

marni

[Crankin]

Slight Hijack...
Marni, was your DH in the military?
My son did some training in Jacksonville and said it was the "armpit of America!"
I loved Beaufort, too! Been there twice. Once, for boot camp graduation and another time, we did a trip to Hilton Head.

[tulip]

Hijack:

Crankin and Marni, I grew up in NC mostly. There's Beaufort (Bowfort), NC and Beaufort (Beeyuufort), SC. Different towns, different states. Many people lump "the Carolinas" together, but they are quite different, thankyouverymuch. Jacksonville NC is near Beaufort NC, not Beaufort, SC. Both Beauforts are very pretty, however.

[Crankin]

I meant the one in SC; I know about both of them, though.

[Melalvai]

I know a kid my daughter's age who has been flying by herself for years. She was champing at the bit to fly as an adult, rather than an Unaccompanied Minor. My daughter has barely flown at all, so she had almost no experience with airports at all. I remember the first time I flew by myself, I was about 25, and I'd hadn't flown much either, and I was pretty scared. It wasn't that I didn't think she could do it by herself so much as I was pretty sure she'd panic very easily if she didn't find the gate right away. That's why I kept her on the phone with me. I mostly just listened as she told me "Oh, here's a sign--nope, not that way". I was panic prevention more than guidance.

That said, the experience was possibly more stressful for her parents than it was for her. It was her choice to fly alone, we made sure she felt like she could handle it before making the travel arrangements. Back then she was excited and as it got closer she was getting cold feet.

I think she'll change a lot during her two weeks away. She's got a shy & insecure streak that is typical of girls her age and my sister & I both outgrew it. I'd be surprised if she doesn't gain a lot of confidence this summer.

[marni]

crankin,

apropos of thread hijack:

basically not in the military but in petro chemical and chemical engineering construction which is about the same. We have been married 37 years, moved internationally 13 times and lived in 9 different countries in that time.

My father wasn't in the military but he was brought into the country from Sweden to Los Alamos NM during the war (think Trinity Project) so I was born there and I grew up in NM with my father while my mother and sisters almost always lived elsewhere hence all the solo flights. It was a very happy marriage, they just had different careersthat they were committed to.

Tulip, Having spent some time in Jacksonville NC home of Camp Lejeune home of the worlds largest Marine assualt facility Uh Rah! I too am aware that there are to Beauforts and two Carolinas and have been to them both. In fact I was a very active docent at Tryon palace and helped train the lacemakers and weavers there.

You're right, they are both lovely and interesting places.

marni

tulip

[Jolt]

Slight Hijack...
Marni, was your DH in the military?
My son did some training in Jacksonville and said it was the "armpit of America!"
I loved Beaufort, too! Been there twice. Once, for boot camp graduation and another time, we did a trip to Hilton Head.

"Armpit of America"--usually that term is used for the state of New Jersey!! (Even though there are some really nice parts of NJ--my family lives there and the area is really not what one thinks of when they think of NJ)