Back to start over for the 3rd time.

[HermitGirl]

Hi, I'm back again, I think for about the third time. I am tired of my excuses , of which there are significant, but not unsurmountable, and I really, really, REALLY want and need to get back on my bike(s). I know that in this mainstream forum, excuses aren't tolerated either, perhaps that is why I am jumping in.

I have had a long morbid breakup with cycling, much like an injury of the heart after a divorce, or a death, or whatever. It started around '03 , and has just gone so far out of my life now, yet, I have several bikes which I still make room in my garden shed for, and it is painful to see them. My physical status now (about 50 pounds overweight and perimenopausal !) is a definite obstacle to a lot of riding as I 'use to', but I do know how to start rank beginner all over again, as I have done several times since '03.

I know I can do this, but I need help. I really don't know where I fit in here, with the beginners or the experienced, but I am just going to join up, and if I get dropped, I get dropped. I hope some of you gals have a soft spot in your heart, or even better, an encouraging story about maybe how you've come back from the ashes, in whatever capacity. I just need cameraderie at this point. I always dreamed of riding up here when we moved into our new house in '05, but as of yet, my dream has been unfulfilled. At one time , I use to fly all over this mtn on my bikes, so now to begin with just a few miles is just kind of comical.

My situation is that I live up on a steep mtn side, in the back country, and riding is not so easy to start without driving to ride, which I really resent, but will suck up and do it to begin. I prefer to ride solo, up on the mountain, or on the more level 'hip' of the mtn to start, and not to go join a club or group. Also, I have a young GermanShepherd dog who needs exercise as much as I do, and I still have to hike almost daily with her at least 30 minutes or longer, so I must factor that in too. (I have thought that the hiking would get me in shape, but it's just not enough I guess). I'm a housewife, with lots of labor to do in the garden and acres of wildwoods, and well, it seems my life right now is all about choosing where my limited energy gets spent. Fortunately my weekday time is flexible for the most part, and I can choose a schedule for this. I know that for each pound I lose, I'll have that much more energy to spend, and that it will snowball. It just all seems so crazy right now, with so much to do outside, AND I want to get back into cycling as well?

Okay, now you can give me your wise pearls of wisdom ladies. Bring it on if you will, please?

[ny biker]

I think you need to just go for a ride. Don't overthink it. There's nothing wrong with driving to the ride start if that's what works best for you. Just pick a date and time and go. And don't try to do anything other than have some fun.

[OakLeaf]

I think you just need to be ready, and to accept where you are right now.

Those aren't easy things. I really struggle with music. So far I haven't been able to re-integrate it into my life. I'm so stuck on what I used to be able to do.

Cycling - and I apologize if I told you this story before, because I know I've related it more than once on this forum - I do think I have a couple other things to add.

Anyway, I rode bicycles continuously from childhood through my early 30's. I cycled recreationally, I commuted, I rode for fitness. Then a friend got me into racing. It was really fun for a while ... and then it just wasn't fun any more. I burned out hard. And every time I got back on the bike, it would be all how slow I was.

Ten years went by that I didn't ride at all, and then when DH and I got 35# hybrids to ride a couple miles around town, I thought I was going to fall right off the thing, I'd come so close to forgetting how to even ride a bike.

Another couple of years went by with my road bike still collecting dust in the garage. Then, for a lot of reasons, I decided I needed to sort of push the reset button on my life, and I signed up for a multi-sport Women's Quest retreat. Each retreat they do has a different focus, so I didn't know how much cycling was going to be involved in the one I signed up for until it was too late to back out. :o I was really nervous about it going in. But I came back out loving it. A rented Specialized Ruby, a terrain 2,000 miles away from any road riding I'd ever done before, a group of like-minded women, supportive guidance from people in the industry, pushed the reset button on my cycling probably even more than the retreat did on the rest of my life.

Afterwards, I still wasn't 100% sure that I was back to cycling for good, so I took my old road bike to the LBS and let them refurbish it with new grease in all the bearings, new cables and housings, new handlebar tape and tires. Spent a season riding that with the local club, then went shopping for a new bike and haven't looked back since.

I think that time off the bike was a really important factor, but another thing I hadn't thought of until just now was that everything was different. Maybe most importantly, I'd moved ten miles west, and I started riding with a club from the next town over instead of riding the same roads I'd ridden when I was racing. So I was on new roads, with new people, and wasn't directly comparing myself against anything I'd done before.

I was a lot like you when I first came back. Half of my gear was brand new, the other half belonged in a museum. :p I had a certain level of knowledge and skills and muscle memories, but some things I'd forgotten, some schools of thought in training science had changed, and some of the technology had developed quite a bit.

So I guess I would say that driving to ride is a good idea. I don't like it much either, but I do it. I don't like to ride alone, and I'm 20 rural miles from the club ride start, which would mean I'd have to leave in the dark for a morning ride or get home in the dark at night, totally unsafe around here... besides not necessarily wanting to ride 40 miles alone and 40 more miles than everyone else in the club. :p

I think you also need to be okay with not making fast progress with your speed or strength on the bike, considering the other demands on your time. It sounds like you're still expecting that from yourself. To improve much in any sport, you really need to train hard at least three days a week. But to ride just for the joy of it, you DON'T need to do that. I think that's where your focus needs to be right now. That's been a real key for me, too, now that I think about it. I ride when I feel like it and I don't ride when I don't feel like it, and I just don't worry about keeping up with my former self like the ghost rider in a video game. Ride for joy. Forget the rest of it.

[HermitGirl]

I think you need to just go for a ride. Don't overthink it. There's nothing wrong with driving to the ride start if that's what works best for you. Just pick a date and time and go. And don't try to do anything other than have some fun. Yes, I will just go for a ride. Starting tomorrow, I will ride my 'first' ride again, and will schedule the same ride in several times next week too. Maybe then the following week, I'll go down to the bottom of the steep section , and go for longer. The hardest part is just squeezing into my cycling clothes (though along the way over last 5 yrs I've bought much larger sizes, still !) , and get the pedals going around....

With the gentle encouragement, and sometimes whipping snap of "Just Do It!" from you riders, I'll be able to do this.

[maillotpois]

Sounds like you definitely have a commitment to your dog to start the hiking up regularly and you have time to fit in rides as you are able. I suggest not even thinking about how many miles you are doing and trying not to compare to what you used to be able to do. Just ride for fun. With the hiking and the biking, fitness will come.

Have fun with it; don't let it make you feel bad.

[HermitGirl]

I think you just need to be ready, and to accept where you are right now....<snip>...I think you also need to be okay with not making fast progress with your speed or strength on the bike, considering the other demands on your time. It sounds like you're still expecting that from yourself..<snip> Ride for joy. Forget the rest of it.Thanks Oakleaf. I remember you from the *two* other times I came dragging into this forum in the same state I'm in now. You're right, I think that for one, I never really thought about how the 7 years OFF my bike(s) might be valuable. Also, the other two times I showed up here, ready to Start All Over, I was still rather grandiose from former ability, and more importantly, was not able to accept my condition of perimenopause being a COLOSSAL factor. It really is. I mean, my body feels like an imposter, it's as if I'm trying to live true to myself remotely, from inside an out-of-control physical presence. Eating is the most difficult discipline for me at this time, so I must compensate with the calories out. All in good time, and there's only one place to begin, and that's down on the 'flatter' section of the mtn, doing the 4-10mi rides, before I am fit enough to really get some confidence riding from home. Music? PM me, lets talk !

[SLash]

You used to ride so you obviously enjoy it, it sounds like your weight and not being able to ride from home are why you haven't been able to get started riding again.

Sometimes the hardest part about riding is getting ready to go ride. Making the time, in your case, loading the bike in the car, getting all the gear on, etc.

Once you get over the hurdle of the first part, the actual riding will serve to make you ride the next time. Bicycle riding reinforces bicycle riding. :)

I predict once you start, you will want to continue, so you will. You obviously enjoy it, you just have to get reacquainted with your bike and that feeling of riding again.

The rest will take care of itself. Start easy and build up gradually.

Go Ride! :)

[HermitGirl]

Sounds like you definitely have a commitment to your dog to start the hiking up regularly and you have time to fit in rides as you are able. I suggest not even thinking about how many miles you are doing and trying not to compare to what you used to be able to do. Just ride for fun. With the hiking and the biking, fitness will come.Have fun with it; don't let it make you feel bad. Yes, this needs to be my mantra, to "ride for fun", (though it's not fun right now, it's a chore and a half to get myself squeezed into riding clothes, on my bike, drive down the mtn, etc)... but I have faith it will be fun again, perhaps soon, riding FROM HOME, like I always dreamed of. Thank you.

[HermitGirl]

You used to ride so you obviously enjoy it, it sounds like your weight and not being able to ride from home are why you haven't been able to get started riding again.

Sometimes the hardest part about riding is getting ready to go ride. Making the time, in your case, loading the bike in the car, getting all the gear on, etc.

Once you get over the hurdle of the first part, the actual riding will serve to make you ride the next time. Bicycle riding reinforces bicycle riding. :)

I predict once you start, you will want to continue, so you will. You obviously enjoy it, you just have to get reacquainted with your bike and that feeling of riding again.

The rest will take care of itself. Start easy and build up gradually.

Go Ride! :)So true, and I've started up so many times in my life riding, that I know it for myself, how riding is like falling in love. I just am not so sure what happens when I begin to stop. Getting reacquainted is so much what this is about. Getting acquainted with all of you ladies as well, will really be my community and my support.Thanks Slash :-)

[staceysue]

I don't know if this will help or not, but what has finally got me to commit to fitness is just really paying attention to how I feel when I exercise vs when I don't exercise. There is absolutely, without a doubt, a 100% correlation between exercise and mood for me. Now that I've finally put two & two together (at the age of 40), it's so obvious.

Now, if I'm having a really bad day, wanting to cry for no reason or feeling down and wanting to stay in bed all day, my husband will say "when's the last time you got out and got some exercise?" It's worst in the early spring and early winter for me - when I'm between cycling and skiing weather. Hubby actually went out and bought me a Wii Fit to cover those two time periods, for his own self preservation.

Instead of committing yourself to becoming a great and wonderful cyclist again, or committing to losing 50 lbs, why don't you try just treating yourself nicely? Don't look in the mirror, don't step on the scale, don't keep track of your speed or mileage. Don't push yourself. Just go outside and have a little fun on your bike going whatever speed feels good for as long as you want to go, and pay attention to how it affects your mood and how you feel about yourself. If you keep doing that, pretty soon getting exercise will become a nice thing you enjoy doing for yourself. Once you're really enjoying it again, like you used to, then you can start pushing it but don't lose track of the fun.

[HermitGirl]

Instead of committing yourself to becoming a great and wonderful cyclist again, or committing to losing 50 lbs, why don't you try just treating yourself nicely? Don't look in the mirror, don't step on the scale, don't keep track of your speed or mileage. Don't push yourself. Just go outside and have a little fun on your bike going whatever speed feels good for as long as you want to go, and pay attention to how it affects your mood and how you feel about yourself. If you keep doing that, pretty soon getting exercise will become a nice thing you enjoy doing for yourself. Once you're really enjoying it again, like you used to, then you can start pushing it but don't lose track of the fun.I hear you loud and clear StacySue. Oh, and the hot flashes, tempermental fussiness, bouts of depressiveness... it's all sometimes just Too Much To Deal (I'm 48). It seems as if my standard of accomplishment has just gotten so fragile and low, that seriously, I just can't remember back so far when my 'par' was endlessly higher. I can't compare myself or my life now, to back then, for that is just the reason which has made me ashamed and unable to start again. I must accept where I am NOW. So yes, just as you say, just learning all over to treat myself nicely is a giant step in the right direction. It will be difficult to not gauge my improvements, as yes, I look in the mirror all day it seems, whenever I pass by one, and step on the scale every morning, and when I ride, I check and document the few miles I did. I think that's okay, but as long as I do it with a smile in the mirror and an "I love you!", and a "Hoorah!!!" for the 3 miles logged, and a "Wow" if I haven't gained any weight. I know what you're saying. I'm teetering, and have been for years now, between going in a better direction, or worse direction. I feel like a berloody weather vane ! ;-)

I know for a fact from experience, that the act of just getting ON the bike and going forward, at any speed ~ just fast enough to keep upright ~ is for now, the biggest fitness goal I should have in mind. Getting to the start point, getting on the bike.... and whatever happens after that is of no consequence. I need to begin all over with "training my habit muscles", as I use to always say. thanks!

[featuretile]

I only started cycling about 1 1/2 years ago. What stopped me from starting for many years was the fact that I live on a steep hill with a very narrow unsafe road. When I finally got over the fact that I would need to drive to a better start location, I bought a bike. I'm so happy that I did. It seemed somehow wrong to need a car to bike. Now, I have discovered many beautiful new riding places that I would never have known about.

It is my understanding from reading cycling books, that it is better to condition yourself initially on long, flat rides. That builds up your aerobic capacity so that you can then tackle hills. So, it seems to me that it would be more positive for you if you did not start riding from your house. Eventually, you will be able to.

I did ride from my house once now that I am in better shape. I still did not like it because it has a 15% grade in places and no shoulder and cars just go too fast. But at least I know it is possible.

[staceysue]

I know for a fact from experience, that the act of just getting ON the bike and going forward, at any speed ~ just fast enough to keep upright ~ is for now, the biggest fitness goal I should have in mind. Getting to the start point, getting on the bike.... and whatever happens after that is of no consequence. I need to begin all over with "training my habit muscles", as I use to always say. thanks!


I'm 40 (but had a complete hyster, so I'm more like 50!), and I was never athletic before I started "cycling" about 4 years ago. Can't really call it "cycling" - it was just getting on my beach cruiser and pedaling once in a while for fun.

When I decided to start using it to try to get fit, instead of just for fun I always felt like I had a little person on my shoulder saying "look at you, you loser! Can't you go any faster than that? This isn't a very big hill at all - you're such a weakling!"

One day, I decided to stand up to that little voice. I said "I'm having fun, and as long as the bike is going fast enough to keep upright, I'm doing alright." Many times going up a long hill I had to just keep saying "I'm upright. I'm upright", like a mantra. That's what kept me going.

One nice day when I didn't have any committments I told myself I had all day to do it, and I was going to go 15 miles if it took me the whole day. I filled up a couple of water bottles and crawled along for 15 miles. It took me almost 2 hours but I kept the bike upright. I felt so accomplished - 15 miles was like a marathon to me. Then I decided to ride 30 miles. It took me 3 hours.

Finally, I found this forum and some nice ladies said "30 miles on a beach cruiser? Seriously? You should get a road bike" and I was like "nah, I'm not good enough for a road bike," but they talked me into it. Last year I did 65 miles one day - it took me almost 5 hours, but I did it!

I am just now seriously thinking about putting some real effort into getting faster. I have no idea how to do it because, like I said, I've never been an athlete. I was always picked last in gym class - AFTER the fat kids and the kids with glasses and inhalers.

Maybe it's easier for me because I don't have anything to look back at and compare myself to (except that when I was younger I had a very nice body). It's so exciting to me to do something "sporty" and makes me so proud of myself.

You have your old self to compare your new self to so it's probably harder for you - but as long as you're keeping the bike upright, you're moving forward.

[HermitGirl]

... as long as you're keeping the bike upright, you're moving forward. funny, how we have the same motto ! ;-)

[HermitGirl]

posted by featuretile... it seems to me that it would be more positive for you if you did not start riding from your house. Eventually, you will be able to. I guess this is the next big step in conditioning my mind, is to get over the elitest attitude I had before that every ride was going to start at my house, back when I dreamed of doing rides from the new house, back when I was fit enough to. It's been a long spirial downward from that attitude which has kept me from riding altogether. I know that once I begin to ride, even if I'm fit enough to ride from home, that maybe my eyes will open to possibility of riding other places off of the mountain, although the mtn is all I really love to ride. Thanks.

[maillotpois]

You're on Mt. Veeder, right? I think I remember you form one of your prior visits here. Beautiful place!

[HermitGirl]

You're on Mt. Veeder, right? I think I remember you form one of your prior visits here. Beautiful place! Yes, and I am flattered that I'm remembered ! Third time is a charm, right? I came back to beg support for the last and final time. I'm so itching to ride right now AND exercise my dog, that I've decided right now, to try to ride my mtn bike as much as I can of my hiking route. Nothing wrong with pushing the bike where I can't ride. Great way to get back int he saddle, though not the easiest, but it's like, the dog needs to run. Like... DUH ! Tomorrow I'll have all day to myself, and I can hike AND ride road.

[HermitGirl]

I did it ! I just got my mtn bike out and geared up and rode her where I could (which was almost the whole way) where I usually hike, with no real steep sections, sort of two different areas, back to back. It worked ! In fact, I feel worked out. and the dog is worked out as much as a long hike, because of course, she had to run faster . Smart thinking. I think this is going to be my happy medium by which to start back into riding. And, for a while, I'm going to just do the bike in the day, rather than the walking, and if I feel like hiking, well, I can do both in one go (lay the bike down, and walk up some steep areas), or go out a second time later in the day by foot. I'm really psyched. I wonder why this wasn't working before. Sometimes we can't see clearly until we've hit bottom and dwelled there a while, I guess.

ps. I'm trying to post a photo of my bike on my profile page, documenting this morning, coming back to riding.

[redrhodie]

Congratulations! Enjoy the feeling, and give yourself a huge pat on the back. :)

[HermitGirl]

Congratulations! Enjoy the feeling, and give yourself a huge pat on the back. :) Thank you. I actually do feel puffed up proud of myself, even though it is relatively a very small ride, it's huge in my recent outlook. Now I'm thinking about .... tomorrow, and the next chance to ride !

[staceysue]

Congrats on getting back on the bike! I'm looking forward to following how you do. Third time's a charm, you know.

[Miranda]

Yep, congrats on getting back in the saddle:cool:. Sometimes you just gotta do it.

Keeping the gear ready to rock helps too I think on making getting ready to ride minimal work.

I keep my bikes in the house w/the gear right next to it. The carbon roadie sleeps upstairs right at the foot of my bed. The mtb sleeps in my formal dining (looks lovely on the white carpet and next to the floral victorian drapes lol).

Anything I need to take with me where I will drive to ride w/a group etc. just stays in the back of my suv. My mini bike gear annex.

Oh course here on TE this is all normal behavior lol;).

Happy riding tomorrow:).

[OakLeaf]

Yay!

+1 on keeping the gear ready to go. Less of an issue when you're riding from home, but when you're driving to ride, it's harder to forget something when it's all in one place.

I keep all my gear in a mesh backpack, which is really nice, because I can throw my sweaty helmet, shoes, gloves, etc., right into it after a ride, and there's plenty of airflow through the mesh so they dry without getting gross. It lives in the house next to my bike, so I can pull my things out of it if I'm riding from home, or pick it up and take it with me when I drive to a ride, or transfer it into someone else's truck when we carpool to an organized ride.

Plus, if weather conditions change (or I just change my mind about them) between the time I get in my car and when the ride takes off, I have my clear glasses and sunglasses, my arm and knee warmers, FF and fingerless gloves, shoe covers, sunblock, whatever I need.

[HermitGirl]

Thanks everyone. I like the mesh bag idea. Hm... gotta make one. Miranda, you describe a life rooming with bikes as i had when i was single lived in a tiny little cabin in the woods. I had my road and mtn bike hanging from the cieling, swagged to the side, over my bed, (oh how the chains glittered in the candlelight) and my commuter hung and swagged in my kitchen. swagged because of low ceilings, and gear everywhere. I think I kept a big laundry basket full of my riding clothes, and well, there was just gear everywhere, and electric sockets charging lights in the kitchenette counter, etc. At the time I was working at a LBS, and it was just natural. Good old days. ::sigh:: Now I live in a real house (but in the same woods), with a DH, and I have to keep the horses out in the stable. lol. But right now, as I write, I have my jersey flung over a loft balcony railing, from yesterday's little ride, that is a little reminiscent of old days. I will soon start letting gear sprawl out, and then I will be reminded all the time about how my love affair with bicycles is still alive. I just have to fan the ever-so-faint embers, and there's going to soon be smoke . :)

[malkin]

Sounds like you are working it out.

Chop wood; carry water. Or in your case, ride your bike; walk the dog.
Breathe in and out; note the distraction and resume breathing.

[HermitGirl]

Sounds like you are working it out.

Chop wood; carry water. Or in your case, ride your bike; walk the dog.
Breathe in and out; note the distraction and resume breathing.

Actually, I just came in from restocking the woodpile.. so the wood chopping still is a part of life. Water, we have on tap . ;) But yes, breath, and learn to ride all over again. It's like I had a big injury (emotional?) and I suppose in total my being off-kilter with cycling will have taken nearly 8 years to heal. Once I put it in that frame of thinking, I feel apart from *it-the injury* and more able to visualize Being A Cyclist again, very soon.

I love the saying "choose for friends, those you wish to emulate". That is precisely why I am going to make a pest of myself on TE. :D

[staceysue]

I store my bike in the wood shed. I tried the garage (aka DH's woodshop) but the chain got all full of sawdust. I tried the rabbit shed and realized rabbits can pee really far - they must get bored and aim at things. The chicken coop is out of the question. If DH ever takes the "temporary" greenhouse out of the dining room, I could store the bike there. . . .

I like the mesh backpack suggestion. Today I was riding down the road and thought "why am I suddenly having such clear memories of what it was like riding my bike back from swimming, as a kid?" It was the smell of the sunscreen I finally bought and the feel of wind blowing through my hair! I can't believe I actually forgot my helmet . . . . better put it in a backpack with the sunscreen.

[HermitGirl]

Stacey ~ That's crazy about the rabbits ! Hey, I rode again on Friday, very short, I was *very* sore from Thursday. Two days in a row. I think I'll rest on the weekends (just hike) and start up on the MtnBike again on Monday. My bike is perched on our deck, there everytime I look out, I won't forget about it !!!!!!

[HermitGirl]

Okay, so the weekend and Monday have passed. My saddle soreness almost nonexistant now.

I remember about 20 years ago, after I'd been off my bikes for a few years, right before I got into riding and got a job at a LBS. I was 32 and felt I'd let myself go so far out of shape, and truly believed I could never get in shape again. I recall some encouraging words from a friend who was a rider, said " It only takes a couple of weeks , like, to make a big difference and then it all comes back " Not long after than, I trained hard in the cycling crowd and got in tip top race shape, far, far better fitness than ever in my whole life. I was about 33 and held on to that for about 5 years.

Well, I'm 48 now, and I have no expectation as to where I could go with this, but I know I could surprise myself. I just got off my mtn bike for the third time since starting up again last week. Just little tiny rides around my house, with my dog running along... and today i feel much stronger. It only takes a little bit, baby steps indeed, then I remember how my bliss lies in riding hard. I know I'll get there again.

[staceysue]

I had forgotten I ever loved to ride, but when I was a kid I rode my bike everywhere. I remember at the beginning of the summer how my butt would be so sore and I could barely make it up the hills and then a couple of weeks later I'd be so happy because I "got used to it" again.

It's funny how, as adults, we tend to beat ourselves up when it hurts. As kids we just said "that's enough riding for today" and never pushed ourselves at all. We just kept doing more and more because it was so much fun.

[HermitGirl]

I had forgotten I ever loved to ride, but when I was a kid I rode my bike everywhere. I remember at the beginning of the summer how my butt would be so sore and I could barely make it up the hills and then a couple of weeks later I'd be so happy because I "got used to it" again.

It's funny how, as adults, we tend to beat ourselves up when it hurts. As kids we just said "that's enough riding for today" and never pushed ourselves at all. We just kept doing more and more because it was so much fun. Kids are the wisest people ! :D