highly sensitive person

[badger]

I stumbled across this term last night while reading through a local school's adult continuing education pamphlet.

It really makes sense now, how I can't stand strong perfumes and other strong smells like popcorn and garlic, how I have to sleep with ear plugs and eye shades, how I cry watching commercials, how I crave alone time, and how I've suffered with anxiety most of my life.

I just never knew that it was an actual personality trait.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highly_sensitive_person

here's a test (http://www.hsperson.com/pages/test.htm) to see if you're HSP

[Tuckervill]

There's a whole group of families who have taken their kids out of school for these very reasons. I know some of the kids.

I have some "highly sensitive" traits. Have a hard time with florescent lights, strong smells. Two of my sons have issues with socks and tags in clothing and the like. I know some preemies develop sensitivity issues from having their nervous systems exposed to too much too soon. It's a real thing, with a continuum, like most things.

Karen

[lauraelmore1033]

Didn't need to take the test to know that one:rolleyes:...
But then, I was the kid who used to get sent to her room for being "too sensitive"...

[shootingstar]

I stumbled across this term last night while reading through a local school's adult continuing education pamphlet.

It really makes sense now, how I can't stand strong perfumes and other strong smells like popcorn and garlic, how I have to sleep with ear plugs and eye shades, how I cry watching commercials, how I crave alone time, and how I've suffered with anxiety most of my life.

I just never knew that it was an actual personality trait.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highly_sensitive_person

here's a test (http://www.hsperson.com/pages/test.htm) to see if you're HSP

I attribute my perfume sensitivity simply because all my loved ones plus growing up in a family where no one wore perfume regularily. And I seldom wear makeup.

I used to pick up strong food smells, like garlic. But no longer. Probably because we use it nearly daily in our supper dish(es). :o I used to really taste a tiny amount of fresh ginger root in a savoury dish for 8 people. Now, I barely taste it because we use it nearly daily in our cooking.

And I always enjoy some alone time....I attribute this to being the oldest kid who went off in her own corner and did her own thing as escape from 5 younger siblings and rowdiness.

But maybe you are sensitive, badger after all. :) But you are a good person. :)

[lph]

wow. This is fascinating. I can relate to a lot of these. Never knew it had a name.

I love being alone. I'm never alone too much. I cry over commercials, movies, sad pictures, seeing someone else crying or sad, even a total stranger on the bus. I get very agitated if someone I know is upset, especially with me. I can get physically ill at strong smells like perfume and cigarette smoke, need to sleep in a dark room, and sleep very poorly away from home. I value tolerance though, so I try to just "suck it up" and not be fussy, but it can be hard sometimes.

I've never considered myself shy, though, but I prefer interacting with just a few people, and I hate being watched or coached when I'm trying to learn something. I'll gladly coach someone else though. I perform abysmally under stress.

And I was told once in an argument, and it still rankles, that "you just take everything too much to heart!" I guess it could be nice to view this as a good thing.

[shootingstar]

I looked at the "test". Could only identify with half of the list. I don't cry easily except for stuff concerning people I love. But I hate watching violent tv stuff. I will walk away or turn away. I never enjoyed horror movies even though I know it's fake.

Aside from the sensory stuff (smells, taste, sight ie. yes, fluorescent lights bother me and dont' make me feel as well as incadescent lighting), for myself I know just certain cultural environmental factors made me for a certain period of time "shy" or withdrawn.

Up until my mid '20's I really disliked speaking up in class or delivering presentations. Then I realized this impediment/anxiety was going to affect my job/career. So I pushed myself to deliver group/classroom training regularily to adults. It was hard but helped me alot deal with not only group/classroom training and making group presentations in several jobs, but dealing with awkward social group situations.

But all of that was coalescing at the same time in my life, as refusing to become the Asian person stereotypically seen as quiet/compliant.

There are ways to deal with the "sensitive" person tag, but yes, it can require initially very conscious changes in habits and behavioural mind-sets. It can take some time. And it helps to have support resource people and tools. But for tv/film physical violence, I don't think I will develop much of stomach for the stuff --ever.

[badger]

I think that's the thing, shootingstar. Our society dictates the highly sensitive person to "buck it up" and become "stronger".

And apparently we're greatly misunderstood (which I think, with respect, you're misunderstanding) that it's actually a neurological thing, we have heightened sensitivity to stimuli. It's not how we were brought up or what cultural background we have (though that will inevitably influence), it's something that's hard-wired within us.

Like you saying "being shy", it's one of the terms that have been wrongly labeled for us sensitive lots, it's not that we're really shy (I'm sure some are), some are extraverted. I think we tend to internalize a lot of things, need to think things through, look at the "big picture", and then do it. I'm certainly not rash and often need to "think about it/sleep on it" before making any decisions because I want to think of all the scenarios that go along with it.

It's not a bad thing, speaking from a survival point of view, it's a great trait to have, but it's not always the best way to get by in this busy, overly stimulating world we live in.

[lph]

Definitely. I'm not shy at all, am usually extroverted and can be very talkative and bossy, both with friends and strangers ;) But I don't like talking to a lot of people at a time, parties with a lot of strangers I find very tiring, and many social occasions, even family dinners, are just exhausting to me. I come home and lie flat on the couch and just stare at the wall, so happy for some downtime.

[badger]

yeah, I don't consider myself shy, either, and as a child I used to make friends with anyone and everyone.

there's one website where it says "HSPs are not fearful of fireworks, crowds, parties, or travel, just reluctant to suffer the discomfort of overstimulation". This is so true. I hate flying not because I hate planes, I just hate the anxiety I get from being stuck in this enclosed space with a bunch of people.

[indysteel]

In my first year or so of therapy, my therapist introduced me to this concept and we both agreed that I am likely a classic "HSP." There are few exceptions to that list, but for the most part, I have trouble with sensory overload. I've gotten better at coping with it, but sometimes I still get out of whack during periods of high stress.

I have to manage my time and to-do list very carefully. I also try to avoid overly loud or crowded environments. I'm not really shy though, but I need down or alone time to recharge which technically makes me an introvert. It's one of the reasons that I like riding with friends. It's social, but not overly so.

From a work perspective, I joke that I'm a Type A person who needs a Type B environment. The two years I spent in a big law firm were a nightmare for me.

I am sensitive to others' moods, although some of that is a learned behavior given my family. When my husband is in a bad mood, it totallly freaks me out. Luckily, he's rarely in a bad mood. :)

[bmccasland]

Interesting - yeah, I did the test, not surprising of the outcome. Yes, I'm highly sensitive. I'm a migrainer too, thing they're related? :rolleyes:

"You wear your emotions on your sleeves" is something I heard a lot (still hear). So I'm sensitive, is that a bad thing? I've also learned to shut down, and compartmentalize which drives my Mother batty. Then I'm accused of being cold. I can't win.

[shootingstar]

Like you saying "being shy", it's one of the terms that have been wrongly labeled for us sensitive lots, it's not that we're really shy (I'm sure some are), some are extraverted. I think we tend to internalize a lot of things, need to think things through, look at the "big picture", and then do it. I'm certainly not rash and often need to "think about it/sleep on it" before making any decisions because I want to think of all the scenarios that go along with it.

It's not a bad thing, speaking from a survival point of view, it's a great trait to have, but it's not always the best way to get by in this busy, overly stimulating world we live in.

One example might be what so-called "shy" types that simply enjoy cycling alone alot of the time. In fact, I kind of wonder about cyclists who absolutely need to cycle with at least 1 other person most of the time. It actually puzzles me abit..but ok. Whatever works.

Yet the sociable, gregarious/noisy cycling pack types might see the hermity, shy-looking cycling folks as just avoiding friendly informal group cycling semi-competitive packs to become more 'fit', etc. You know what I mean...:)

My partner and I joke with one another that we are well-matched: we understand each other because he and I are each, friendly-lone wolf type of people. We like good company of others around us, but think about alot of stuff which makes each of us appear quiet and distant.

I know he is physiologically sensitive to certain things --some of it when the public health care conditions were poor during WWII when he was baby/very young in Germany which made him sick often and with sensitivties etc. even now.

[GLC1968]

Heh - I probably should have answered yes to every single item on that list. Every one. Though I had to really think deep and not just jump to answer what I felt was the correct answer, if you know what I mean.

So very much about who I am as a person developed as a result of my upbringing. We moved constantly (I had been in 10 different schools by the time I was in 10th grade!), so it greatly shapped how I react to this world, and still does. The funny thing is, if I dig deeper, below my initial reactions (most of which were learned from always being the new kid), I find that the true internal me really does answer yes to everything on the list.

So while I agree that environment and upbringing do afect how we react to different situations (learned response), if you dig deeper, you can see what your true interal response would be. Mine is most definitely HSP.

What is extra odd is that I would highly doubt that a single person in my life (save my mother) would guess that I am HSP. Not one. Weird.

[indysteel]

It's actually been a while since I've given my likely status as an HSP much thought as it relates to certain issues in my life so this thread is a good reminder for me.

For instance, since meeting my now husband, I've totally bristled at spending time with his parents either in their house or their RV. I haven't analyzed that issue in terms of being a HSP. Rather, I've chalked it up to personality differences. It's probably linked more to the former, however. I feel trapped in situations where I know I can't just go off by myself and get some quiet. Add in the fact that his parents talk a lot and their house is rather small, and I feel pretty anxious when I'm there.

Even among people I feel totally comfortable with, I get really edgy after a couple of hours in their company. At dinner parties, I'm the first person to volunteer to help with dishes. I absolutely cannot stand sitting around the dinner table for extended periods of time. Thankfully, my husband is one of the few people I can be around for hours on end. It helps, though, that he likes to do his own thing, too, and is not an overly talkative person.

Other "weird" things that I think are linked to being a HSP:

I have a strong urge to touch things, especially clothes, when I'm shopping. I have a strong tactile sense.

I absolutely cannot stand listening to music with headphones. I do, however, like to listen to music somewhat loudly. Go figure.

I cannot stand wearing socks or pajama bottoms to bed. Nothing can be on my legs or feet.

I'm not a very emotional person.....except when other people around me are emotional. Then I lose it. I break down at funerals, even for people who I barely know (like my friend's parents).

My eyes water as if I'm crying when hearing or telling a scary story (like a ghost story).

[lph]

I break down at funerals, even for people who I barely know (like my friend's parents).


Oh Lord, yes! I can't go to a funeral without a stash of hankies, because there is no way I'm not going to end up bawling with snot running everywhere. A bit embarrassing if I'm not one of the close family or friends. Funny thing is I'm almost as easily moved at happy occasions like weddings, I have to sit and stare out the window and think of something very mundane like dishwashing to not start sniffling at inappropriate moments. Ok, I admit it, it's not sniffling, sniffling would be ok, it's fullblown weeping.

Certain pieces of music can have the same effect. My calm dh just smiles at it all, because he knows I'm pretty down to earth the rest of the time.

Wow. It's kind of reassuring to read that this is a normal sort of thing :)

[GLC1968]

Other "weird" things that I think are linked to being a HSP:

I have a strong urge to touch things, especially clothes, when I'm shopping. I have a strong tactile sense.

I absolutely cannot stand listening to music with headphones. I do, however, like to listen to music somewhat loudly. Go figure.

I cannot stand wearing socks or pajama bottoms to bed. Nothing can be on my legs or feet.

I'm not a very emotional person.....except when other people around me are emotional. Then I lose it. I break down at funerals, even for people who I barely know (like my friend's parents).

My eyes water as if I'm crying when hearing or telling a scary story (like a ghost story).


Ditto to all of this for me, too!

I also cannot sleep if the hair on my legs is too long. TMI, I know...but I would bet it's related to this.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Ok, I have to say this- a lot of what is being described as 'highly sensitive' here are things that I just think of as normal.

Since when did needing to be alone sometimes, crying at sad things, an aversion to loud noises, glaring lights, relentless music, crowded situations, and strong unpleasant odors... become 'highly sensitive' traits? If you ask me (which admittedly no one has, lol) people who are not affected by such things are 'highly desensitized'! :cool:

I cry at weddings and at strangers' funerals too. I also love to laugh (but not at funerals). :)

[shootingstar]

Though i don't like being stuck standing in the middle of thousands of people in a crowd (I start getting abit claustrophobic), I wouldn't identify myself as HSP.

Methinks each person does have a certain phobias --small/major/debilitatiing. It's when a major phobia/anxiety/sensitivity impedes what we might want to enjoy doing or affect how we earn our living. But it's good to understand why certain things bug us and we're making an effort to cope with that anxiety.

We're human, after all.

[badger]

yeah, I scored 22, and it could have been higher if I let myself.

One thing I had to say "that's not me", was when it says HSP are highly imaginative. Then I said "unless it's me catastrophizing something". And it's true, I tend to be quite negative, so I'll think up of a worst-case scenario and I'll be running off with it into the worst possible scenarios.

It's interesting that I'm always the one turning the volume down on the car radio or the t.v. It's like I can't think if it's on too loud. But at the same time, I like to have the t.v. on, but low or on mute if I'm doing something like cooking or talking on the phone.

I'm very attuned to other people's moods, too. And I've never been good at dealing with criticism, especially if it's coming from a loved one.

[GLC1968]

Since when did needing to be alone sometimes, crying at sad things, an aversion to loud noises, glaring lights, relentless music, crowded situations, and strong unpleasant odors... become 'overly sensitive' traits? If you ask me (which admittedly no one has, lol) people who are not affected by such things are 'overly desensitized'! :cool:



I think this is partially true. According to the Wiki info - 1/5 of the population is HSP...that's a pretty major chunk!

I think the problem is that in today's society, there is a benefit to being overly desensitized and often times HSP's have a harder time than they should (or maybe than they did in the past). I would bet that it's even more difficult for children today than it was when most of us were kids what with all of the constant stimulation out there! Multi-tasking used to be a desirable trait - now it's a societal requirement. And don't even get me started on crowds...

By the way, I scored a 25 on the HSP test. I don't think I'm highly sensitive to caffeine or to pain...so those were the only two things I didn't check. Unreal. I had no idea that there was a name for this or that all of these little 'quirks' of mine could be tied together under one relationship. Interesting!

[lph]

Bleecker, the point is that it's not "overly" sensitive, implying something wrong or abnormal, it's highly sensitive, meaning the upper end of the scale but still normal. And if you register on the high end of the scale for many different sensory inputs where most other people do not, you are probably in this sub-group.

[ny biker]

Interesting - yeah, I did the test, not surprising of the outcome. Yes, I'm highly sensitive. I'm a migrainer too, thing they're related? :rolleyes:

Don't know. I get migraines and have major problems with bright lights and noises when I have a headache. I've been known to wear sunglasses on rainy days and indoors. But I answered no to pretty much every question on that test.

But I could see how sensitivity could trigger or worsen a migraine, by increasing stress.

BTW what is a "rich, complex inner life"?

[shootingstar]

I would bet that it's even more difficult for children today than it was when most of us were kids what with all of the constant stimulation out there! Multi-tasking used to be a desirable trait - now it's a societal requirement. And don't even get me started on crowds...

Very true, GLC. Today's environment and multi-tasking expectations for kids is abit much for many. There are times I long for societal expectations for near hyper-fast response and multi-tasking, to instead, learn to focus to do a task well, instead of jumping around across 2-3 over a span of 5-10 min.

It certainly is noticeable to me when I teach adults certain things...and they have problems learning a software task..when the friggin' cell phone goes off, an email pings in on their laptop, etc.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Bleecker, the point is that it's not "overly" sensitive, implying something wrong or abnormal, it's highly sensitive, meaning the upper end of the scale but still normal. And if you register on the high end of the scale for many different sensory inputs where most other people do not, you are probably in this sub-group.

You're right, and I meant to put 'highly sensitive' rather than 'overly sensitive' in my post, as I intended it to reflect the thread's title. I've corrected my post to read 'highly sensitive' now, but I still feel the same way about it. :)

To me, the very word 'sensitive' in this context seems to imply 'more so than average' and as such not really normal (if normal is average)...and its common usage these days often seems to have a negative connotation.
....or am I being too sensitive? LOL!

Ah, words. ;)

I do think phobias should be categorized or approached differently than sensitivity...though they sometimes overlap because someone can be highly sensitive in their phobias. But one does not equate with the other.

[moonfroggy]

i have taken the quiz and i score very high on it but all the stuff i score high on seems to me to be related to my ptsd.

[indysteel]

Ditto to all of this for me, too!

I also cannot sleep if the hair on my legs is too long. TMI, I know...but I would bet it's related to this.

Yep. I have to shave every day because I can barely stand the thought of putting lotion on stubbly legs. Given that I get stubble within 12 hours of shaving, I can't win. Oddly though, I'm not all that ticklish.

I'll add another annoyance. I can't stand the sound of someone chewing. As long as I'm also eating, I'm relatively okay. Otherwise I want to crawl out of my skin.

[indysteel]

Sorry to hog this thread, I'd add that for me, being a HSP does not translate to being "sensitive" in the way that we often use the word in an emotional sense. I don't get my feelings hurt more easily than others. It's more about feeling anxious or overloaded by certain stimuli. In layman terms, I feel kind of "high strung." Most of the time, you likely wouldn't even pick on it as abnormal. If I were to discuss the condition, however, with those who know me best, it would probably go a long way toward explaining some of my quirks. Thankfully, I've never seen any of this as a weakness or fault. It's just who I am. Almost all of it is manageable if I'm aware of my triggers.

[Aggie_Ama]

I got a 21, no shock I have known for years I was sensitive in the way Indy describes.

[GLC1968]

Sorry to hog this thread, I'd add that for me, being a HSP does not translate to being "sensitive" in the way that we often use the word in an emotional sense. I don't get my feelings hurt more easily than others. It's more about feeling anxious or overloaded by certain stimuli. In layman terms, I feel kind of "high strung." Most of the time, you likely wouldn't even pick on it as abnormal. If I were to discuss the condition, however, with those who know me best, it would probably go a long way toward explaining some of my quirks. Thankfully, I've never seen any of this as a weakness or fault. It's just who I am. Almost all of it is manageable if I'm aware of my triggers.


Again, ditto.

In fact, most people I know write off my little quirks as part of my 'type A' personality. Funny thing is, I have never really thought of myself as a true type A at all.

[OakLeaf]

Not even going to look at it. I suppose there's a medication they're trying to sell us, which is where most of these marginal "diagnoses" come from nowadays. :mad: Sorry, IMO every personality trait is not a diagnosis.

[Crankin]

Just as I thought, I am not highly sensitive, though I have a couple of these traits. I was quiet as a young child (hard to believe) and people thought I was really shy. Then, all of a sudden, when I was around 8-9 I became outgoing.
The only thing I have, that's "overly sensitive" is related to allergies/asthma. I have the skin thing, where I can't stand the feel of labels, seams, certain materials. It's kind of cyclical. Some days it won't bother me, but other days... I can only wear what I call my "cozy" feeling clothing. It will get to the point that I will get welts, or little red bumps, or just feel totally uncomfortable.
I remember being about ten years old and telling my mom I couldn't wear a pair of pajamas she bought me because the seams were "itchy." She just couldn't understand, took the pants, ripped them in half and threw them away :eek:.
I think I was carrying on a little bit.

[GLC1968]

Not even going to look at it. I suppose there's a medication they're trying to sell us, which is where most of these marginal "diagnoses" come from nowadays. :mad: Sorry, IMO every personality trait is not a diagnosis.

Actually, no...no medication. It's not something that you 'cure' except maybe in very severe cases. It's really just a classification that helps those of us who have it validate something we've been dealing with for years.

It's like learning that you aren't the only person in the world who thinks that cilantro tastes like soap.

Not earth-shattering, but certainly nice to know that you aren't alone.

[PamNY]

Not even going to look at it. I suppose there's a medication they're trying to sell us, which is where most of these marginal "diagnoses" come from nowadays. :mad: Sorry, IMO every personality trait is not a diagnosis.

Have you been in a bookstore lately? These things nearly always mean someone has written a book -- and that's true in this case. I don't think that's bad, necessarily, but it's certainly predictable.

[indysteel]

Not even going to look at it. I suppose there's a medication they're trying to sell us, which is where most of these marginal "diagnoses" come from nowadays. :mad: Sorry, IMO every personality trait is not a diagnosis.

I understand where you're coming from, but I think that's overly dismissive. No one has ever tried to suggest medication for me, nor was it suggested to me as a "diagnosis." Rather, my therapist thought it was both a plausible and helpful explanation for a long list of behaviors and anxieties that were negatively impacting my life. So much made sense after I learned more about HSP. Plus, it did offer me some comfort to know that I wasn't just some oddity. With or without a formal name, it still comes down to learning better coping strategies and doing my best to avoid certain triggers.

[Jolt]

I checked out the quiz and quite a few of those things describe me--mainly the ones dealing with sounds, chaotic environments and having to do too many things at once. Also, sometimes I do just need to have some peace and quiet away from people--not in a darkened room though; a nice trail run usually does quite nicely (maybe that's my way of getting rid of pent-up energy/stress). Sights and smells don't bother me so much but being in crowded, chaotic or noisy situations makes me crazy! (Ask my best friend who has been to NYC with me a couple of times--she's about the calmest most easygoing person ever and I was driving HER crazy because I was so stressed out from being on total overload!! NYC is just not a good place for me--Boston I can handle.) One big pet peeve is when more than one person tries to talk to me at one time--I have to stop them and tell them I can only listen to one person at a time. I do feel like today's society expects way too much as far as multitasking--some of us find it much easier and more efficient to focus on one or two things at a time and I don't think that means there's anything wrong with us. I think there's something wrong with expecting everyone to be able to juggle a gazillion different tasks!

[Tri Girl]

That's interesting. It seems there's a diagnosis for EVERYTHING nowadays, tho. :rolleyes:
A little off topic here, but I had a student one time that had very messy handwriting (4th grade). He was very intelligent and had no learning or social issues- he just didn't write legibly (although he had no other fine motor issues). His parents took him to 12 (yes, 12) specialists until he was diagnosed with dysgraphia. They insisted we provide physical and occupational therapy (we're a parochial school with no services available so they wanted us to pay for his services from professionals of their choice) and they insisted that they write everything for him and he could dictate his work to them.



As far as the highly sensitive person, I checked almost every one of those statements on the quiz. I've always been sensitive to others, inanimate objects, noises, smells, lights, etc. Not knowing what it was, I just developed coping mechanisms to deal.

[Tuckervill]

This would be easier for the doubters to understand if you ever had or knew a child who was extremely highly sensitive. Since they haven't learned to tolerate what bothers them or any coping skills, it is easier to detect that something is making them anxious or uncomfortable. Unfortunately, many adults and parents don't take children seriously when a child expresses their discomfort, or they can't understand it, or they minimize or discount it because "it's not that bad" (to the parents).

As an example, I took my son to Circus Circus when we were in Vegas to see the trapeze artists. The place was full of kids of course (he was 12 or so). A family watching between us and the act consisted of two parents, a small baby, and a toddler. As the music began, very loudly, and the lights dimmed and lots of lasers and stuff started happening, the toddler's hands flew up to her ears. It was a motion I recognized instantly, because my youngest has always covered his ears for loud noises. I have numerous pictures of him at fireworks shows, etc., with his ears covered by both hands or one ear to the shoulder and one hand on the other ear if he needed his hand. Even now, at 16, he mows the lawn with ear protection on.

The parents were upset with the toddler because she just could not enjoy the trapeze artist with the loud music. They kept trying to get her to look at the artist. They tried to pull her hands from her ears (heartless!) and eventually they made her cry by forcing the issue. Eventually she laid her head on dad's shoulder and turned her head away from the act. So not only was she overwhelmed by the sound, her parents made her cry AND she couldn't enjoy the act! As I watched all this unfold, I glanced over at my 12 year old, who ALSO had his hands over his ears. He was watching her, too.

She was too young to care what her parents thought and adapt her behavior to cope with the stimulation. But I bet she's learned since then. It would have been much better if she had had the chance to know what would happen and given the choice to leave if it was too much.

Kids who take off their shoes first chance they get (mine), refuse socks or insist on soft clothes or wearing them inside out, cover their ears for any loud noise (mine), are afraid of certain types of people from a young age (mine--clowns and mascots, started at 6 weeks), pick up on other people's moods early, refuse to touch certain types of fabric (mine), startle easily--these are kids who are likely on the highly sensitive side. They were probably also the newborn babies who didn't instantly drop off to sleep the time the family party got loud and raucous or in another overstimulating environment.

It's not a made up diagnosis. It's not the same as not liking broccoli. It's an experiential difference that shouldn't be made fun of.

Karen

[ny biker]

Not knowing what it was, I just developed coping mechanisms to deal.

But even if you have a diagnosis for it, don't you still need to develop coping mechanisms? I have a diagnosis for migraines, and I have ways to manage them so I can function. Same with asthma and allergies.

[WindingRoad]

I have read a couple of the books by Elaine Aron and I have found them extremely useful as an HSP. I don't agree with every part of her books but I appreciate she has tried to make studying this type of thing as much of a science as can be expected. I DO buy into the fact that due to certain circumstances in the development of our nervous systems HSPs can be more attuned to stimulus than other people. I've learned too much about the development of the nervous system and how such subtle changes can affect it not to think there could be some protein or defect somewhere that resulted in a more sensitive nervous system.

Here's a link to more information on the subject if you are interested.

http://www.hsperson.com/pages/aron_bio.htm

[channlluv]

BTW what is a "rich, complex inner life"?

When the voices and inner dialogue going on in your head is more entertaining than what's going on around you.

I was once doing some volunteer work at a ballet school that involved a couple of hours of detailed work editing photos. One of the teachers asked me if I didn't want to put on some music there in the office. I told her no, that there was a story going on in my head and I was fine. Which is true. Most of the time I've got a story going on, or I'm having conversations with people in my head so that music playing or the TV or whatever is a distraction.

I scored pretty high, too.

Roxy

[GLC1968]

I have been marveling at how different so many events in my life look to me in retrospect since learning about this. I always faulted myself for not having a powerful enough brain to process all the stimuli all at once. I mean, other people don't have this issue, so clearly my brain is lacking, right? It never occurred to me that maybe others don't have this issue because they don't notice every little thing in a new scene all at once. My husband confirmed this - he notices things in a methodical order when he goes into a new place (for example). This made me feel SOOOO much better. It's not that my brain is lacking the processing ability, it is that my sense of perception is too strong. My husband suggested that it should be looked at as a strength, not a weakness or a 'condition'. I like that idea. I'm going to call it my 'super power'. :p

Anyway, I recalled a situation when I worked in retail. I was the manager of a very large high end outlet store. It was a busy weekend day, and I had probably 25 employees on the sales floor. Customers were everywhere. I had been in the back for some reason and when I came out onto the sales floor, I immediately knew something was wrong. To this day, I can't put a finger on what I saw, but something triggered my awareness and I immediately called in 'reinforcements'. We were under 'attack' by 6-7 members of a professional shoplifting ring. My trained security employees hadn't noticed it but I immediately did. Everyone joked about it at the time, but now I think it must have had something to do with this. Had I not known my own store so well, I might not have picked up on what was out of place admist the overload....but since it was my store and I knew it like I knew my own bedroom, the anomoly stuck out. Funny.

I need to do some more reading because now I am wondering if there is a hereditary aspect to this. My brother is the same way. He would scream about sock seams as a child (I was never that way) and to this day, hates tags in his t-shirts. He also hated (and would freak out) if a restaurant was too loud. I'll have to send him a link to the quiz to see how much else is true for him.

[badger]

by reading all the responses, it's obvious who is highly sensitive, and who aren't. I think those who are highly sensitive understands what's being discussed, and those who aren't poo-poo it.

It's not a diagnosis, but more like what GLC said, a validation for a string of behaviours and "quirks" we've had to live with that are actually shared by others.

One of the things that have frustrated me all my adult life is the fact I know I can do more, yet I'm stuck in a dead end job and not knowing how to get out of it. I know this isn't specifically an HSP problem, but it was interesting to note that a lot of people who are highly sensitive end up in jobs they find unfulfilling and unable to remedy that effectively.

One thing I will say about growing up in a family that never understood me is that my self esteem has never been healthy. Having an overly critical mother and being sensitive to what others say/feel certainly didn't help.

I'm hoping that by better understanding that I'm overly sensitive will hopefully help me in not beating myself up so much over little things.

[shootingstar]

I'm hoping that by better understanding that I'm overly sensitive will hopefully help me in not beating myself up so much over little things.

While there's certain things in person one can't always remedy/correct completely, there are strengths that each person has.

Perhaps it's to figure what those strengths are and go from there.

[lph]

The kicker for me was realizing, as I ticked the boxes, that most of these traits (not all) do apply to me, but as far as I can see, not to most other people. I have colleagues who can happily keep on talking to me even if their phone is ringing, and inlaws who can carry on a conversation with me even if the tv is on. I have friends who can drink coffee late in the evening, most of them will gladly stay on at a party as long as they can. Most of the people around me at a funeral are sad, but not sobbing uncontrollably. I see so many people constantly listening to music, even when they're doing something else as well. I see cyclists and skiers wearing too much clothing, they just seem hot but unbothered and I would be desperately tearing it off.

I just never saw a pattern until now, and just thought I was fussy and had strong habits. I didn't read it as a diagnosis and I'm certainly not buying anything :D but it's nice to see it's a recognizable and understandable set of traits that many people do in fact share.

[OakLeaf]

by reading all the responses, it's obvious who is highly sensitive, and who aren't. I think those who are highly sensitive understands what's being discussed, and those who aren't poo-poo it.

Okay, I have to say that without looking at the link, I'm guessing that I probably WOULD qualify under most of the criteria, and that's exactly WHY I'm skeptical.

"Too much all at once" is something I've known about myself for years. That's exactly the phrase I use, and my DH knows to back off IMMEDIATELY when I use it. :cool: I'm allergic to a broad spectrum of foods and inhalants and some contact agents. When I run, I much prefer to run alone. I'm not agoraphobic (which is a diagnosis), but I'd rather hang with just a few people than a large party. I'm easily triggered emotionally.

What I don't see is the need for some grand unifying diagnosis to explain all my personality quirks. I've been in therapy, and while I don't kid myself that I'm "done," I've learned to cope well enough.

Learning not to beat yourself up is learning not to beat yourself up. It doesn't matter what you might be beating yourself up over.

Identifying physical and emotional triggers, desensitizing yourself to the ones you can, and knowing when avoidance is the best strategy (either temporarily or permanently), is identifying and dealing with triggers. It doesn't matter whether the trigger is ragweed pollen, loud noises or a sad movie.

Knowing that we are members of an enormous majority of people who can't listen an iPod and pay attention to their driving/riding/running at the same time is just common sense, and the fact that we refuse to engage in this dangerous behavior is not a pathology, however unpopular it may be.

JMO...

[Crankin]

Sometimes I am the only one on the train who does not have earbuds on.
The rest are reading a book or doing some kind of puzzle.
I sit and look at the people or stare into space.

Just tore the label out of my new "She loves hills" jersey. Maybe I have it????

[OakLeaf]

And what about the positive side of these traits?

I'm guessing that with a high degree of body awareness, we all eat healthier because we know what foods make us feel like cr*p, and a few minutes of taste gratification aren't worth four days of feeling that way. Maybe we're also in better physical condition, better able to avoid injuries and understand and heal the ones we do get. Maybe our form is better in our physical activities.

With a high degree of situational awareness, maybe we've got great intuition, as GLC referenced. Maybe we're safer riders/drivers if we're less susceptible to tunnel vision. As I said before, maybe we're less likely to listen to iPods, text or talk on the phone while driving/riding/running.

Maybe we've got perfect pitch... or maybe after years away from music when my pitch went flat by a half-tone, I learned that I never really did have perfect pitch, it's just that degree of awareness. :cool:

Maybe we can test batteries by licking two fingers and touching them to the poles. (What, can't everyone do that? Household batteries only please no car batteries! :p)

Maybe we enjoy sex more. :o Or maybe when there are physical or emotional issues that make sex not fun, we're more likely to deal with them because it's so troubling.

Add yours...

[WindingRoad]

And what about the positive side of these traits?

You guys really should read the books about this, there ARE a lot of positive things associated with HSPs. As with anything have your BS filter on at all times but I found so much of what she wrote about useful to me and especially in my relationships. I don't fit the HSP personality test to a T but pretty darn close. Much of the always feeling like the 'odd woman out' stuff is all too familiar to me. I could ramble for days about these books but I won't because the joy you feel when you find yourself relating to so many people while reading them is amazing. I'll let you find that out for yourselves, I don't want to spoil anything. ;)

[lph]

OakLeaf, with all due respect, I think you're tilting against windmills here :)

I'll admit that I just took the test and glanced briefly at the rest, but my impression was definitely that the site was saying exactly the same that you are: no, there is nothing wrong with you if you're "sensitive". On the contrary, this is a recognizable pattern and a description that fits 15-20 % of the population, nothing pathological, no diagnosis. And it has positive sides as well as a bunch of challenging points.

For those of you who have been in therapy this may be blindingly obvious, but to me who hasn't this actually gave some insight. And insight makes it easier to identify and avoid "bad" triggers, for one, and feel less guilty about certain things, like being a lot less social than most friends and family.

But I sure could use some of that intuition stuff. Anyone got some to spare?? ;)

[PamNY]

Knowing that we are members of an enormous majority of people who can't listen an iPod and pay attention to their driving/riding/running at the same time is just common sense, and the fact that we refuse to engage in this dangerous behavior is not a pathology, however unpopular it may be.JMO...

Sounds as if you are reacting to something that isn't happening here. Nothing in this discussion has stated or implied "pathology."

I don't think an "enormous majority" of people can't listen to an Ipod and pay attention to driving. As far as "unpopular," who cares if someone else listens to an Ipod? Unless the highly sensitive person is a drama queen who can't shut up about her sensitivities, it's not my problem.

This is an interesting and useful discussion to me. I suspect I was a highly sensitive child who was (understandably for the era) forced to shut up about it. As a result, I can't stand listening to people snivel about how delicate they are. So it's helpful to me to get some insight into the varieties of human experience. Might make me less cranky.

[indysteel]

I agree to some extent that we, as a society, are overdiagnosed on some level--both for physical and mental "problems." I also agree that some of that is being driven by drug companies. NPR did a great store a couple months ago about just that--as it relates to bone density drugs and testing.

That said, I'm also happy that the research community is spending time, money and energy on mental health and psychological issues. Yes, there's a lot to wade through and we need to arm ourselves with as much information as possible before jumping on any bandwagon, I'm at least glad there is more and more information out there and that mental health is increasingly becoming a topic that's okay to discuss.

But back to HSP. I agree that there are positives to it. I consider myself to be a very emphathetic person, and that's not something I would change. For me, understanding HSP as a identifiable set of behaviors just helped me start to make sense of things. That became incredibly important at a time in my life when being an HSP became a huge liability.

I was working as a young lawyer in a large law firm. Imagine being an HSP in an environment that is completely frenetic? Lots of noise and interruptions. No control over your schedule. People standing over you as you worked. Having to socialize with large groups of people I didn't know. An ever increasing amoung of work. Conflicting deadlines. I almost went off the deep end at that job, and spent a lot of time beating myself up for it. I simply couldn't grasp why I went from being high functioning to barely being able to get out of the elevator each day to go to my office. The job simply overwhelmed my senses.

I eventually left that job for my current job--a job that is very different. Not long after that, I started therapy and ultimately learned about HSP. While I don't think for a second that HSP fully explains why I suffered so in that job. (the job sucked, period), it did explain why my reaction to some of it was just so visceral. It was a very clear indication to me that I had to be careful in choosing what environments to place myself in.

And I'm completely at peace with that. I don't see being an HSP as problematic for the most part. It just informs me on some level of what's likely to feel good and what isn't. I also don't ruminate about it all time. In fact, before this thread, I hadn't thought about it for several years. It's an interesting topic to revisit though, as I think it might be helpful to view some of the issues I'm currently dealing with through an HSP lens.

[Jolt]

Sometimes I am the only one on the train who does not have earbuds on.
The rest are reading a book or doing some kind of puzzle.
I sit and look at the people or stare into space.


I often listen to music on the train...it helps me block out the obnoxious cell phone conversations, screaming babies, etc. :) That, in turn, makes it a little easier to try and read/study.

[PamNY]

Sometimes I am the only one on the train who does not have earbuds on. The rest are reading a book or doing some kind of puzzle.
I sit and look at the people or stare into space.

Just FYI, I seriously dislike people who stare at me on the train. There is a very fine line between "looking at" and "staring at," I realize.

[GLC1968]

For those of you who have been in therapy this may be blindingly obvious, but to me who hasn't this actually gave some insight. And insight makes it easier to identify and avoid "bad" triggers, for one, and feel less guilty about certain things, like being a lot less social than most friends and family.


Exactly.

Let me suggest how insignificant this is in the grand scheme of my life. I've NEVER been to therapy and I consider myself an exceedingly well adjusted contributing member of society. If I'm not happy, I blame only myself and I take steps to change it. I have lived a very positive, very fullfilled life. HSP is NOT a crutch or a death sentence, or really even a problem.

I would strongly disagree that knowing this is 'common sense' as I have a great deal of common sense and it would never occur to me that 1/5 of the population would also have these odd traits. If I had given it any thought, I guess I would assume that there were other people like me out there somewhere, but the chances of actually meeting them were slim to none. It's not exactly mainstream conversation material, right? Additionally, the thought that this HSP is prevalent enough that people have actually studied it and given it a name is kind of mind-boggling to me.

Will this change anything in my life? Not really. I have added one more book to my reading list, though. ;)

[badger]

as others have already pointed out, I think this discussion is NOT about pathology or focusing on the negative but actually celebrating the positive about it. To me it's great.

It's not like I'm being validated that I've got issues and need therapy to cope with life (been there done that). It's just to reassure us that what we're feeling isn't BAD, and in fact GOOD when it comes to survival instincts.

And it's not just humans who are highly sensitive; animals are, too. They've even found some goldfish to have highly senstive traits, and those will be the ones who'll surive because they'll be the cautious ones who won't jump out the fish bowl to shrivel up.

[Crankin]

Pam, I don't "stare" at people. I look, and maybe stare at the posters on the wall of the train. I only ride for 2 stops, so I don't have too much time there, thankfully. I can't read on the train... makes me dizzy. I can read on the commuter rail, when and if I take it, since I am on for 40 minutes or so. It goes slower.
I just don't like buds in my ears, nor do I have any great desire to listen to music.
Jolt, I think you get more of the cell phone conversations on the commuter rail, when people have more time. Not so much on the Red line. That would bug me, too, since it bugs me anywhere out in public.
Sounds like the "things that piss me off" thread.

[ridenread]

As a therapist who works with children with sensory processing disorders I find this discussion very interesting. Sensory processing issues are very often unrecognized and misunderstood. Yes many people have sensitivities to certain aspects of life... noise, touch ,crowds, lights and still manage to live their day to day lives without incident. We all have our "quirks"

Most people who are "highly sensitive" do not have a disorder.Their nervous system perceives things differently and they learn how to cope. Interestingly many "highly sensitive" people turn to activities such as running and cycling because of the calming benefits it has on their nervous systems.

However there are those that are "disordered" and it can severely impact all aspects of life. There are many people who have spent years in therapy for anxiety, depression, feeling that they do not fit in with other people and just always feeling "different". There are many who try to self medicate with drugs or alcohol.
Sensory "differences" are very real and can be life altering to many.

[shootingstar]

Thx for your perspective ridenread.