Aging

[michelem]

Thanks, Bicilista, for suggestion I start a new thread on this topic. :p

I am curious if any of you have the same trouble I do with reconciling your aging self with your inner self-concept? Not sure that makes sense . . . what I mean is that, I still feel at least 10 years younger than my chronological age and have to remind myself that I am 40+. I look in the mirror and see these changes (wrinkles, sagging, etc. -- only the stray gray once in a while though) and the reflection I see does not jive with how I feel! It really hit me this weekend when I saw some "old" friends who have gotten quite gray and I thought, how the heck did we get this old? I don't feel this old! :eek:

Oh, and another thing that recently brought this to the forefront of my mind: I was reading a review about Ben Stiller's new movie, in which his 40-year-old character was referred to as "middle-aged." I thought, WHAT??? Am I really middle-aged already??? Sheesh!

[Biciclista]

yeah, I am getting really close to 60 years old (I'm 58). I have been dying my hair but let it grow out to its ugly greyness. I have gotten senior discounts without asking for them!!

yet i am still doing pushups, lifting weights, and of course, cycling. Being older does have some benefits; you can flirt without being taken too seriously, and i wouldn't trade my 25 year old mental state for what I have now.
I am more patient, happier, calmer, wiser.
I have all sorts of stupid aches and pains including some that don't seem to go away.
It's scary territory. My mother just became a widow, she's 20 years older than me. So in 20 years I will be at the precipice myself.
Another thing that has changed for me with age is my determination to be healthy. I take exercising very seriously now.
In a bicycling newsletter I just got there were two different powered bicycles featured. I thought "what's the point of that, you don't get exercise that way!"

[lph]

I was just thinking about this a little while ago. I recently turned 40, and though I'm fit and usually get taken for being younger I'm getting quite grey and can certainly see the changes. I'll catch a new wrinkle here or a skin spot there and suddenly feel that aging is creeping up on me in little hops and spurts. But what I was just thinking today is that exercise and an active life is what keeps me happy about myself. I have friends my age and older who are fitter and stronger and way cool, I aspire to be like them, wrinkles and all. I have friends younger than me that aspire to be as fit as I am. And the good thing about that is that it's attainable, while getting younger just isn't. When I'm not happy about myself it's not really my age or looks, it's lack of exercise, too much yucky food, lack of achievement, and feeling unfit. Which is reversible, and that my friends, is a beautiful thing :p

One thing I do take seriously about getting older is avoiding injury, though. Things I would bounce back from in days as a 20-30 yr.old can have me aching for weeks now, so I am definitely more careful. Breaks and sprains are a big setback.

eta: I just saw Veronicas comment on the other thread about 40 not being "old" or "aging", and wanted to add - I agree that 40 isn't "old", but then I think we read a whole lot of negative things into being "old" and a lot of positive things into being or feeling "young" which aren't quite necessary. I am noticeably oldER at 40 than at 30, but in good ways too, I'm wiser, more laidback, more experienced. At 50 and 60 I will probably feel more negative physical effects from being older, but they may well be counterbalanced by positive effects too, and as fitness and activity goes, I might even have more time for this as my son grows up. I'm doodling here, but anyway - I think the simplistic old=bad, young=good thinking is more suitable for people who don't exercise much (and maybe for top athletes going all out). For those of us who exercise a fair bit feeling "good" is more connected to exercise, sleep, time, health, stress and diet than just age.

[shootingstar]

And the good thing about that is that it's attainable, while getting younger just isn't. When I'm not happy about myself it's not really my age or looks, it's lack of exercise, too much yucky food, lack of achievement, and feeling unfit. Which is reversible, and that my friends, is a beautiful thing :p

One thing I do take seriously about getting older is avoiding injury, though. Things I would bounce back from in days as a 20-30 yr.old can have me aching for weeks now, so I am definitely more careful. Breaks and sprains are a big setback.

Things that we can control, food, some exercise, etc. are reversible for a long time. Though many of us here in TE forum, have fallen into valleys of lack of motivation, injury.. we each have found a way to climb out to recovery/better health. Good to have that personal history to face stuff ahead in the future for coping.

This is an incredibly tiny minor age related change --but yesterday I had my lst ever comprehensive eye exam. :p And am getting my lst set of reading glasses in my life. The optometrist seemed relieved/happy for me that as a first-time patient, my eyes are still healthy and only needing glasses of minor vision strength. For a 51 yr. that ain't bad to have come this far in life without glasses, even though now I have to pay attention to the idea of not losing my reading glasses. :)

Lately I'm noticing more newspaper articles of elderly folks as drivers who cause car accidents and really shouldn't have been driving. I'm also noticing others just abit older than I, who stridently claim that no one is going to take away their right to drive until they collapse. I am abit unsympathetic to people who aren't thinking /planning this properly about life beyond the car.

Thank goodness, I won't have to suffer that psychological angst of car=independence in the future. Nor the idea of using of public transit. Nor the idea of living in city vs. very rural area. Aging isn't just about the body gradually changing in capabilities but how to plan one's lifestyle way in advance, so that the lifestyle adjusts to body's capabilities without compromising health, independent mobility and fun.

It's a good feeling to have found lifelong options how to remain active and healthy.

[yellow]

Well, it took me over 40 years to realize that I am not as "big" (in stature, bravery, or ability to do whatever I want) as I've always believed myself to be. Maybe I got my humbling later than others, I dunno. But reconciliation (and that is what I see it as) had nothing to do with age, but more to do with some...physical limitations associated with a recent surgery (which was kind of related to age).

I'm looking at it as an opportunity to reprogram. I'll need to do a lot of things more slowly and differently, and age will definitely affect the reprogramming and my reprogrammed self. Will it limit what I can do? Probably not. Will my expectations about my ability to do those things need to be more thoughtful and perhaps realistic? Absolutely.

No, I do not like the lost elasticity in my skin, the wrinkles, the fact that I am turning into a rectangle (hey! where did my waist go??!), or that my boobs get smaller every year. :p But as long as I can do the things that love to do (consistent with my reprogrammed self), then I really don't have much to complain about. No, I am not an Amazon princess and I am not 20-something. But at least I'm out there.

[Crankin]

I don't like the idea of being old, I admit. At 56, I think I look pretty good for my age. I am at peace, pretty much with my body, and have been for awhile. I've been both too skinny and overweight, and both were not good.
Truthfully, I'd love to get a dermal filler for my laugh lines. DH said "go ahead and do it, if you want," but I am afraid of the side effects (allergic stuff). I've had these lines since I was in my 30's and they run in both sides of my family... the jury is still out; I will be looking for a job in a year and competing with people a lot younger than me. No gray hair yet.
I don't like having to take more recovery time after exercising. I haven't been riding as fast for the last 2 years, and I've had one thing after another with sports related injuries. I am looking at the long haul of being able to ride until I die, so I deal with it. Cycling keeps me young and if I have to go slowly as I age, I will. But, I still don't like it.

[OakLeaf]

I'm still not convinced I'm going to live long enough to worry about aging. No one I knew when I was young thought we were going to live to see 40. We walked around in wonderment when the year 2000 rolled around. Now that I'm 50 and had that health scare a couple of years ago, I think I'm comfortable with my own mortality. It's easy to say "we're all going to die," it's harder to say "I'm going to die," but I'm there and I think I'm okay with it. I do wish I had a better sense of how acceptance looks different from denial, though.

I will paraphrase something I said on my Facebook page the other day though: I have to do intervals just to maintain, now; I liked it better when it was "speedwork."

[tulip]

"You have to keep the young adventurer inside your heart alive and long enough for it to someday re-emerge. It may take some coaxing and some courage, but that person is in you always--never growing old."

--Granny D (Doris Haddock)

She walked across the US in 2000 when she was 89. She recently died. I think she was 100.

Having said that, I recently got carded at a restaurant (I'm 42). Made my day, I tell ya'! Upon reflection, though, my BF might have asked the waitress to card me...knowing it would put me in a festive mood (as if the mojito's wouldn't do the trick all by themselves)

[ummbnb]

I'm 40 and lovin' it! Sure it takes me a little longer to recover from injury. Sure my metabolism isn't what it used to be. Sure I'm the queen of moodiness and hot flashes. Sure I just got diagnosed with asthma. Sure my tits aren't as perky as they were before spending nearly all my 30's nursing and my butt fell somewhere between 37 and 39. But each year brings more wisdom and comfort in my skin and I'm groovin it all the way! I'm rather fond of my wrinkles as each one represents a great accomplishment and I'm looking forward to the day I can sport a bold head of silver because most all the silver crowned women I know are wise souls whom I look up to with great admiration.

[shootingstar]

At 50 and 60 I will probably feel more negative physical effects from being older, but they may well be counterbalanced by positive effects too, and as fitness and activity goes, I might even have more time for this as my son grows up.

Hard to know about the future..but at least being on a positive path of good lifestyle is helpful.
More than a few yrs. ago, I realize now what a terrific foundation for development of my body/health based on how I was raised as a kid and what I was fed. I see similar benefits in all my siblings who may not be in all perfect health but none have respiratory nor cardiovascular problems and all of us are 41-51 yrs. Of course none of us smoke, did drugs nor drink alcohol much. (Genetic ability to get drunk on very little booze, helps here. :D) So I let my mother's lectures about processed foods, fatty stuff, etc. roll over me. I used to get real impatient listening to this and thought she was paranoid. Now I am grateful to her healthy parenting re: health of us during our tender years. And to my father who shared the news media stories about unhealthy foods, etc. with her and us to inform us at that time.

Since my partner is 16 yrs. older than I, I am semi-conscious that we do the cycling and other very physically active stuff now. Whenever we do a long touring ride or we're up snowshoeing in the mountains, I think to myself: 'Why do people want to wait until retirement to do these activities?" It should be now, when you're still healthy. Even if one is healthy now, there is still the tendency to think....let's wait in xx years to do xxxx cycling trip.

I am learning that the wishful future opportunity could have 50% chance of only becoming true and it becomes more unattainable as the years march along.

It doesn't mean one should be impulsive and unwisely do all sorts of stuff now, unprepared physically or financially. But each year, for me, means trying to live abit more mindfully.

I don't wish to worship at the temple of my body/health, since there's other non-exercise stuff/skills that are lying latent, also waiting to develop/spring out to life again. I hope to achieve a balance in life/perspective.

[katluvr]

Well Michelem, you didn't hi-jack my thread and probably some of what was in my thread (my post and others) are strongly related/intertwined with aging.

And everything everyone says here is true. But I think "I" am just in that place/space where I am not dealing well. Or maybe more reality is hitting me.
I have always fought my weight...who thought it would be easier for me now.
My legs...well you know how I feel about that.
And what about that "fat" on my back, where did that come from?!
Yep, wear those darn reading glasses from the drugstore and my arms and the lighting is just not good enough at a resturant anymore
I don't worry about grey hair...been dying it for ever.
Yes, those lines on my face..around my mouth...where did they come from?
And that back ache of mine...

I could go on and on.

I do more than alot of people my age, I have done more than many sedentary or non-adventurous people. There are people my age that look, act, etc older.

That all being said...what I "think" or "feel" my age is definitely does NOT correspond w/ my chronological age. And although that is a good thing...some times when I DO say my age or seriously look in the mirror...the reality sets in and I don't always like it.

So what will I do about it? Clean up my diet a bit, have a little more fun on the bike, I got a new hair cut last visit, maybe a newer more flattering swim suit...and if all that doesn't work...I glass of wine!:D

K

[Eden]

I'm always confused about how "old" I really am.....

I'm 38 married and I don't have any kids. Though my lifestyle has more in common with younger folks I generally feel much older than them with little else in common. Then again people my own age always seem to feel a whole lot older than me..... Most times I feel like I have the most in common with and relate best to people who are actually a bit older than I am - who maybe had kids, but they are grown up. I feel like I understand that generation (a little older than me, but younger than my parents) a lot better than really young people.

Physically, mentally I think I feel a lot younger than my chronological age. I catch myself thinking I'm not really that old am I often...

[shootingstar]

I'm always confused about how "old" I really am.....

I'm 38 married and I don't have any kids.

Since I don't have children, I don't witness the passing of years until I see my partner's children or my nieces and nephews. Also dearie and I hang out with alot of lifelong cyclists, around 35 yrs. and several up to 70.

These folks don't act nor move their "age" so I'm perpetually confused and abit clueless what the real health status norm is among general population. :)

[Biciclista]

well, then there's comparing ourselves and our bike friends to the other friends and relatives. the cyclists with trim bodies and younger faces; or the ones with serious health problems exacerbated by lack of exercise, weight gain, diabetes, hip and knee replacements, the inability to walk a distance; people we used to go hiking with now don't even want to mall-walk with us anymore because of knees/backs/hips etc.
My newly departed stepfather was a textbook case in what NOT to do. he had a reasonably healthy body but when he retired, he decided that he was done working. He got more feeble every day. When it was time for the BIG fight, he had no reserves at all. He taught us a lot by his mistakes.
I am very sad to lose the closer friendships with the friends and relatives who used to be our age but now are suffering from all those old people problems. But what can I do? I can only continue to take care of my body and hope that they get some inspiration from me and maybe won't get too many resentments.
Cycling without a doubt has bought ME some time.

[GLC1968]

Eden - I'm in a similiar situation to you. We are in our early 40's, we've only been married for 7 years, we both started second careers in our early 30's and frankly, because of all this, we often have more in common with people who are 10-15 years younger than us. Except that those people are not at the same 'place' as we are in terms of life and experience...so it gets complicated.

I am LOVING having met a bunch of new friends here in Oregon that are our age, active, and also don't have kids. I feel like my life is blossoming again.

That said, I rarely think about aging much. I guess if I were to criticize myself more for something other than my overweight-ness, then I'd see it. But frankly, with that staring me in the face, I specifically try NOT to focus on the other things that might not be so perfect so that I don't get too, too down on myself! In fact, that's partly why I started coloring my hair again. The grey just didn't jive with the age I feel and I really didn't need any additional hits to my self-esteem right now.

I will admit to noticing how flawless some of the high school swim team girls' bodies are...(I share a locker room with them at the pool). I catch myself bemoaning that I'll never look like that again. Then I laugh at myself and remember that I didn't look like that when I was their age, so what's the point of getting depressed about it?! :p

[katluvr]

I will admit to noticing how flawless some of the high school swim team girls' bodies are...(I share a locker room with them at the pool). I catch myself bemoaning that I'll never look like that again. Then I laugh at myself and remember that I didn't look like that when I was their age, so what's the point of getting depressed about it?! :p

GLC, I think you hit it on the head. I still want the body I NEVER had even when I was young because of my genetics and I was not athletic. Maybe that is what I am grieving about!

(Just did a Spinnerval on my bike on the trainer...legs looked good from that angle! :)Off to shower!)

K

[Bike Chick]

I have to do intervals just to maintain, now; I liked it better when it was "speedwork."

I love that statement Oak and it's so true. I have noticed such a big change in my body since turning 50. It was like someone flipped a switch but I, like the rest of you, have seen the result of not exercising or eating right in our mid to late years. My brother, who was always the althletic one when we were younger, is now struggling with high blood pressure and refuses to change his diet or exercise. My mother who is 74 years young can't hardly lift her leg to climb in the car because she sits on the couch day after day. It's sad so I keep plugging along to improve my quality of life. I refuse to sit on the couch and wait to die.

My question is, "When did I become middle age?" It seems like yesterday I was 35 and suddenly the last 17 years were gone in a flash. I sport the silver hair and I am starting to resemble a rectangle as yellow stated but I don't feel any different inside. I commented about an interest rate in the paper for a 15 year cd the other day and DH remarked that we may not live long enough for it to mature. That was a startling thought! And now we are looking at retirement communities. I'm loving every minute of my life right now and grasping each opportunity and hanging on for dear life!:D

[Bike Chick]

GLC, I think you hit it on the head. I still want the body I NEVER had even when I was young because of my genetics and I was not athletic. Maybe that is what I am grieving about!

(Just did a Spinnerval on my bike on the trainer...legs looked good from that angle! :)Off to shower!)

K

So true! I wish I had biked/swam/ran when I was 30. I wasted so much of those years worrying about things that didn't really matter.

[shootingstar]

I commented about an interest rate in the paper for a 15 year cd the other day and DH remarked that we may not live long enough for it to mature. That was a startling thought!

LOL. :p Can relate to that when looking at financial instruments and their projected maturity date! Suddenly time into the future isn't so endless after all. :rolleyes: :)

Not sure what I regret not having physically in the past and now. My physical shortcomings are only shortcomings if I use European/Western beauty standard as a benchmark. Not at all health based.

I don't regret the years of being a non-exercising, geek girl prior to cycling. My energy and free time was thrown into other non-sport/non-fitness activities that made use of my other passions/skills. But then, I didn't have health problems either.

[tulip]

I have always resembled Sponge Bob in body shape. So not having a waist when the change comes will perhaps not be such a big deal as for those who have lovely trim waists. Finally, a positive!

[Crankin]

As Biciclista noted, it is getting harder and harder to maintain friendships with those who "can't." If I share a common interest with them, anything it's easier, but I am losing tolerance for people who are my age (mid fifties) and have given up. I have the gift of genetics for longevity from both sides of my family. My dad is 85 and still works part time, but he has some "stuff" that could have been mitigated by exercising and good diet.As soon as my mom died, all he did was eat out, and bad food, too. She was the exerciser and healthy cook. A great role model. But no amount of exercising stopped her from getting a weird liver disease and having a transplant that didn't work when she was only 67.
So, onward!

[ny biker]

I have always resembled Sponge Bob in body shape. So not having a waist when the change comes will perhaps not be such a big deal as for those who have lovely trim waists. Finally, a positive!

Whooooo lives in a pineapple under the sea...

That song is now stuck in my head.

Back on topic. On the one hand, I do not want to look older. And I don't want to fall apart, health-wise.

On the other hand, my father is 74 and my mother is 72. Both are cancer survivors and they have various other health problems. But they are more active than many people I know in their 30s and 40s. They visited me a few weeks ago. The weather was great, sunny and warm. So the first day, they wanted to visit the FDR Memorial in DC. For those familiar with DC, we parked at Arlington Cemetary, walked over Memorial Bridge, stopped for sandwiches near the Lincoln Memorial, then walked all the way to the FDR, then on to the Jefferson, then walked all the way back to the car. For those not familiar with DC, all I can say is, this was a ****load of walking. Sure, we stopped from time to time and rested on various benches. But it was still more walking than many people half my parents' age would try on a good day.

The next day we drove up to Baltimore to see the historic ships at the Inner Harbor.

http://www.historicships.org/

Specifically, my mother wanted to visit the Torsk, because she'd never been on a submarine before. I have pictures of both of them stepping through the crazy-small holes that serve as doorways from one compartment to the next inside the sub. Again, I know so many people my age who wouldn't even attempt to climb down the steps into that sub, let alone work their way through it from end to end.

We also visited the Constellation and an old lighthouse that has been moved to the Harbor. Both involved walking up and down lots of steps.

So yeah, I don't want to be old, and I don't want to look old. And all the healthy living in the world can't guarantee a long, active life. But wrinkles and gray hair don't have to mean that it's all over.

[Bike Chick]

But wrinkles and gray hair don't have to mean that it's all over.

I have wrinkles and a beautiful head full of silver hair and it's just beginning!

[Trek420]

As Biciclista noted, it is getting harder and harder to maintain friendships with those who "can't." If I share a common interest with them, anything it's easier, but I am losing tolerance for people who are my age (mid fifties) and have given up.

+1. At 54 and climbing it's hard to fathom not taking care of ones health.

I had the day off today to go to the funeral of the 19 y.o. son of a friend. (one of two kids killed in a crash :(). Many of my peers/coworkers were there. As we left T & E asked for a ride to BART. I'd driven, said fine.

Less than a half a block T said "I won't make it to the car". And it's a good thing she waited for me to jog to the car because I'd mistaken where I parked and had to go around 6 blocks. :rolleyes:

It's not being carded, looking better, that's all good but I want to be able to do what I want to do for as long as I want to do it and enjoy life as long as possible. Sure if disability or injury was the case that's different but I see no reason I can't run to find my car at 54, 64 ..... etc.

Forgetting which street I parked, that's another thread :rolleyes:

[azfiddle]

I've been overweight most of my life, even when I was active in high school and in my 20's. I started getting gray hair at 21, and started coloring it before 35... and I've never had a flat tummy. I'm 53 now, and see a lot of changes in my face when I look in the mirror... I've never really felt "my age" though- and Ive always had lots of interests outside of work and family that kept my mind growing.

But since I got started cycling last summer- I feel years younger! Not just physically thinner, stronger and healthier, (I've lost almost all my excess pounds over the last year), but also when I get on the bike I feel very free and happy. So although I'm sure I'll be slowing down and facing new challenges over the next decade or two, for the moment, I feel as though I've turned back the clock.

[michelem]

Wow! What great responses! I'm going to need some time to really read them all again and digest them thoroughly. Thanks so much for sharing. I love this community. :)

[lph]

Specifically, my mother wanted to visit the Torsk, because she'd never been on a submarine before.

That's funny :D "Torsk", pronounced Tawschk, means "cod" in Norwegian. Fitting, I guess.

[Bike Chick]

It's not being carded, looking better, that's all good but I want to be able to do what I want to do for as long as I want to do it and enjoy life as long as possible. Sure if disability or injury was the case that's different but I see no reason I can't run to find my car at 54, 64 ..... etc.

Forgetting which street I parked, that's another thread :rolleyes:

I couldn't agree more! I may weigh more now than I did when I gave birth to both my children, have hair growing places it shouldn't, spots on my hands that weren't there before, and have 10 pair of "cheaters" to see anything up close (and still can't find where I left them) but I can ride 100 miles on a bike, have finished a triathlon, and am about to do a half-marathon. That feels wonderful and I'm not about to stop until I absolutely have to. I wear my hair in an easy style, wear comfortable shoes, don't shave my legs as often as I used to, hardly ever paint my nails anymore and have thrown my pantyhose away! Aging has been liberating for me and life is good! I love the poem "Warning: I Will Wear Purple."

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other peoples' gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickles for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

by Jenny Joseph

[shootingstar]

The health of (older) TE forum members is big contrast to other forums where people's close friends are suffering heart attacks right now.

Well, one good thing about aging for me...I haven't had to shave 'pits and legs for last 5 months. It's a genetic thing from Momma... seriously I'm getting hairless. :p I only need abit of graze shaving every few months. Actually it's been like this for past 3 yrs. or so. Have lost track. :o

[kjay]

I am curious if any of you have the same trouble I do with reconciling your aging self with your inner self-concept? Not sure that makes sense . . . what I mean is that, I still feel at least 10 years younger than my chronological age and have to remind myself that I am 40+. I look in the mirror and see these changes (wrinkles, sagging, etc. -- only the stray gray once in a while though) and the reflection I see does not jive with how I feel!

Regarding reconciling our aging outer self with our inner self reminded me of a comment made by someone at a meditation seminar I recently attended, which is that our soul never ages and therefore we're always the same inside regardless of how we look on the outside. In my mind, I feel today as I felt when I was a teenager (and sometimes act like it, too). One of my primary goals in life is to narrow that gap between the inner self and the outer self, and I choose to fight aging to the end! Be glad that you feel younger inside. It would be bad news to feel older than one's actual age. :)

[Biciclista]

The health of (older) TE forum members is big contrast to other forums where people's close friends are suffering heart attacks right now.

Well, one good thing about aging for me...I haven't had to shave 'pits and legs for last 5 months. It's a genetic thing from Momma... seriously I'm getting hairless. :p I only need abit of graze shaving every few months. Actually it's been like this for past 3 yrs. or so. Have lost track. :o

YOU have to shave?? (I don't!!) :eek::eek::eek::D:D:p

[PamNY]

I had an interesting insight into aging (and my own attitudes) when my mother was in a nursing home. My mother was very badly off, and it showed. I was surprised when many other nursing home residents were kind to me and solicitous of my well-being.

Then I realized: why shouldn't they be a source of support for me? I was assuming, because they were old and using wheelchairs and walkers and in some cases facing death themselves, that they had nothing left to give. Boy, was I wrong; some of those dear people made the worst days of my life a lot brighter. Their compassion, intelligence and humor were intact regardless of their physical ills.

Before that experience, I would have said I have no prejudice toward the old, but I was wrong. I just had a prejudice I didn't know about yet.

When we say that what we see in the mirror doesn't match what we feel inside, we are (to some extent) making assumptions about what it feels like to be old. I suspect that some of our assumptions are wrong.

[lph]

When we say that what we see in the mirror doesn't match what we feel inside, we are (to some extent) making assumptions about what it feels like to be old. I suspect that some of our assumptions are wrong.

Good point and well put, Pam.

I sometimes meet people much younger than me that are "old".

[badger]

I turned 39 a couple of weeks ago, and my "joke" is I tell people I turned 29 (I've been saying that for about 7 years now). But I truly do feel about 29 inside, and I think with the right lighting I could pass for an older-looking 29 :p

I'm lucky that I don't look my chronological age, but I'm starting to see way too much grey in my hair. I'll probably have to start dyeing in a couple of years.

I'm still not hearing my biological clock ticking, but I think my time's running out. Oh well.

And yeah, it sucks how it takes longer to heal from injuries and aches and pains are getting a bit too commonplace.

[GLC1968]

When we say that what we see in the mirror doesn't match what we feel inside, we are (to some extent) making assumptions about what it feels like to be old. I suspect that some of our assumptions are wrong.

This is a very, very good point. I read 'Water for Elephants' a few months back (and if you haven't read it, you should - phenominal book) and it really, really opened my eyes to aging. The story is told through the eyes of a man in his late 80's or early 90's (I forget his actual age) and it is soooo revealing about how older people get treated and often dismissed. And how much of a struggle it can be to have your brain think you are still capable of so much more than your body can put out. It really illuminated Pam's point - many of our assumptions about what it's like to 'feel' old are likely wrong.

I'd totally forgotten about that until just now. Thanks for the reminder, PamNY!

[PamNY]

Oh yes, "Water for Elephants" is a wonderful book and very pertinent to this discussion.

Michelem, this is an interesting topic -- thanks for starting it. I think your concerns make perfect sense -- there are very real losses associated with aging, and acknowledging those losses is all part of the fun. It's not a sign anything is wrong.

I love reading about the active and lively people in their 70s. NY biker, your story about walking all over DC made me smile. My aunt who came to Manhattan in her eighties was just like that. She waded into the middle of Sixth Ave. and hailed a cab like a native.

My most fun friend in NYC was my parents' age. She would always go to Central Park with me when it snowed, she would go to most any rock concert, and she was never, ever dull. I have friends in their forties who won't do half of what she did.

[Crankin]

Using those standards, my 85 year old dad is more fun than some of my 50-something non-riding friends.
I really think there is a growing "generation gap" within the same generation, once you get into your forties. I look at people at the grocery store, around town, etc. and it's disturbing. Now, some of these people didn't care about their health when they were young, either, but once they age, the whole process just accelerates. My DH is bothered even more by the poor health habits he sees around him, mostly because at 53, he is able to continue to be an in-shape cyclist who rides 2-3k miles a year, with 2 stents, taking 5 medications a day. He just wishes he had started it all in his twenties, because it's all poor genetics.

[Bike Chick]

I really think there is a growing "generation gap" within the same generation, once you get into your forties. I look at people at the grocery store, around town, etc. and it's disturbing. Now, some of these people didn't care about their health when they were young, either, but once they age, the whole process just accelerates.

I agree. I have non-cycling friends and co-workers in their 50's who are really starting to have serious health problems (diabetes, high blood pressure, heart attacks). They will say to me "I can't believe you ride ___ miles or run ___ miles. That's crazy." Who's the one that's crazy?

[echidna]

I'm 46. I'm going gray. I'm not 100% sure where my eyesight is going (I need to find a KID to read off the serial # of my iPod to get it serviced - eek!) and my hearing is going to the dogs, too (though it that's the only poor genetics thing I get, I'm a lucky woman).
There aren't enough Kegels in the universe - I dribble in the shower. Probably a harbinger of menopause.
I'll never have a waist, but I never did, unlike my curvy sisters and my beautiful daughter. I'll always struggle with weight - although I'm happy to report that a frightening percentage of it is leg muscle.
When I got my tattoo last year, I had to shoehorn it in between cellulite and stretch marks. Probably best that I waited as long as I did; I don't expect either to get much worse at this point.
Despite "it all", I feel 35, and I'm pretty sure I *look* a bit younger than my age; still, when I look in the mirror I wish I saw a younger face.
But I'm generally healthy, active, and fit, and because of that I feel like one of the luckiest people in the world. Oh - and I'm racing RAAM this year, something I could not do when I was younger.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I was going to read this thread, but then I saw it had 39 posts, and I'm getting older by the minute and am about to turn 56... so I decided I didn't want to take the time to read it all!

Back out to the garden for me....I have seedlings to water! :D

[NbyNW]

It would be bad news to feel older than one's actual age. :)

That was my reaction when I read the original question.

I was one of those kids who was 14 going on 40. I started to get gray hairs at 13. And as I moved through my first decades of adulthood, there were probably times when the reverse was true!

Chronological age seems to matter less as the years go by. I have to stop and do some math if someone actually asks me my age.

The closer I get to 40, the more in sync I feel with my physical/chronological age. Don't know why, or what it means.

Second half will definitely be interesting!

[shootingstar]

I have to stop and do some math if someone actually asks me my age.

:rolleyes: Well, you can tell the next person: time flies, hard to keep track of my age.

I actually have to think of not my age, but take time to remember ages of my family members. Every year, it has to be updated. Might sound stupid, but there's a middle sister that I can never immediately and accurately remember her current age.

[Zen]

... so I decided I didn't want to take the time to read it all!



I'm finding more and more threads like that;)

[runningcyclist]

There aren't enough Kegels in the universe

I had to laugh when I read that as I have days when I think it :D:D:o

Very pertinent comments from all of you. I'm 47 and been going gray since my 30s (I maintain my beloved of the time started me off :rolleyes:), but I love and look forward to a complete head of gray/white.

I too have hair growing where it shouldn't, but that's due to PCOS and restaurant lighting really is terrible. Despite all that, I can still run short and long distances - just not at speed and my cycling skills are slowly improving.

As long as I can move I'll keep on running and cycling and if my joints wear out, the wonders of medical science will replace them :D

[sundial]

I have always resembled Sponge Bob in body shape. So not having a waist when the change comes will perhaps not be such a big deal as for those who have lovely trim waists. Finally, a positive!

Tulip, lol!

The only time I feel old is when my arthritis flares up. Then I feel 20 years older.

[bmccasland]

I'm finding it's taking me a whole lot longer to recover from my bike accident this go-round than the crash I had 5 years ago.

And let me officially state: I'm tired of waking up stiff and sore every cotton picking morning! :mad::o:rolleyes:

Yeah, I'm feeling my 50 years.... :rolleyes: But my brain doesn't think it's this old, or maybe it forgot that part. :p

[limewave]

My parents are in their early 60's and have loads of health problems: diabetes and heart disease. My mom has had both knee's replaced, had back surgery, and bariatric surgery . . . It freaks me out about getting older.

But then I realize that most of the women I bike with are in their 50's and 60's and are in great health. In AMAZING shape!

It really motivates me to keep riding, to keep pursuing a healthy diet and lifestyle because it really pays off down the road.

[Laterider21958]

A great aunt recently turned 102 and somebody suggested that she might be better off to leave her home-unit as her eyesight is failing. Currently she lives alone and has so far managed to cook/shop/clean without help. As a trial she spent a week in an "old folks" home. Her comments were "The rooms are lovely. The staff are lovely and caring, and couldn't be nicer, but when I went to the dining room and sat down to eat it was filled with old people."

Up until a few years ago this aunt used to have friends around for dinner parties, cooking everything herself.

Just goes to show....it's all in the mind really. :D

[bmccasland]

Yay Laterider Auntie!!! You go girl! :D

[Norse]

Laterider, I hope I can one day be such a great auntie for my nieces, and that they always view me as much more fun than their parents!

My only living grandparent is now 87 and lives in a place for older folks. She has suffered various health problems throughout her life but has always tried to stay active. She recently recovered from pneumonia and the flu and just got back into walking so she walks to the grocery store a few times a week and carries home what she can manage. The other people where she lives can't believe she walks that far! My 87 year old grandma calls the others in her building "old bitties." I hope I have her genes, meanwhile, I do what I can to not end up like some of my other relatives, but man, where did these wrinkles come from and the age spots! I tried to rub one off my face the other month until I realized what it was. :eek: