To be or not to be - gray

[Dogmama]

Argh. Looked in the mirror last night & the silver hairs are taking over. I don't feel old enough to be gray! So, I have to make a decision - am I going to be gray, am I going to become my hairdresser's new best friend or am I going to just get a box from Target & do it myself? I really think gray roots are TACKY so if I went to hairdresser route, I'd do highlights & low lights. My hair is naturally dark brown, so I'd have to weave in some blond tones. Or, I'd have to do the L'Oreal route but I don't think stark brown looks good on me - too harsh.

If you've been there - or are getting there - what are you doing? I'm tempted to just say screw it because Ma Nature is going to have her way eventually anyway. Maybe I need to look at the fact that I am getting older -- nah. Let's just focus on the hair...

[bmccasland]

I went the hair dresser route for high lights/low lights - mainly because I was tired of my mousy brownish hair. And what he does for me is still mainly around my face. I don't get "tiger" stripes either, so the highs definitely not neon bright. One thing you have to consider is the chemicals that are used to lighten your hair. We still laugh about the first time I walked into his salon, I told him it didn't stink. Whatever brand he uses (I should know), Italian I think, doesn't stink like the hair dressers that I remember going to with my mother or grandmother when I was young. That stink has kept me out the door of many a salon.

[SheFly]

I've just embraced the gray. Don't get me wrong - I started coloring at 16, and did it both myself and at the salon for over 25 years. I had actually forgotten what my natural color was!

Now, I'm completely back to natural, gray and all. I am lucky though - mine comes in more salt and pepper than in clumps or stripes like some.

All that said, a coworker (whom I met for the first time this week) told me I should color my hair :D.

SheFly

[Aggie_Ama]

My hair is naturally a dishwater blond with reddish highlights. I just box dye it a medium golden blond to pull out the highlight color. Luckily that allows me to have the grays (they are a bit resistant) look like blond streaks. I started going gray at 19, I fear eventually I will have to embrace it or start seeing a hair dresser. At almost 29 I am not ready to let it take over, I am about 10-15% gray with more coming every year. My Dad has been salt and pepper gray all my life and my Mom's mother was a very earlier silver - I was doomed!

[roadie gal]

I just turned 51. I started going gray when I was 30. I decided to just go with it. I hate gray roots more than I hate natural gray, and I'm too lazy to be good about dying my hair. Dying your hair is like an addiction. Once you start it's hard to stop. :o Now I'm almost all gray. I just tell people that I match my dog: I'm blue merle.

[Tri Girl]

I just tell people that I match my dog: I'm blue merle.

That's funny!!:p

I'm embracing the gray, but still coloring with the $3 box color from the grocery store. The gray coming in is strong at the roots right down the middle of my head- it looks terrible. I'm going to color until it evens out a little more. I'm only 36 but I don't really mind the gray. I wear it like a badge of honor (most of them are named after students, after all).
When it gets a little more uniform, I'll stop coloring. Why fight nature? It's like my laugh lines and crows feet: just means I smile a lot and have lived a fun life. ;)

[Biciclista]

I dyed my hair for about 5 years. I used to have brown hair, but i liked the red hair dye.
But i couldn't stand being called "that redhead" because it wasn't me. So I just stopped with the dye and am trying to get used to what I have naturally. because that is me, not the dye. I hope that makes sense.

[OakLeaf]

So far I'm embracing the grey. But it's not that noticeable yet - my hair is light brown with a lot of blonde highlights, so the grey kind of blends in. I'm guessing maybe only 4-5% of my hairs are grey at this point, maybe less, and while I was starting to get a clump a couple of years ago, it seems even now.

I don't know... ask me in five years. :rolleyes:

[KnottedYet]

My very thin, very fine red hair started going white and gray in my mid 20's. I've always used a light red-brown henna, which doesn't hide the gray at all. It just makes the white hair look a bit blonde and the gunmetal gray look light mahogany brown.

Nice thing about the henna is that about half of it gradually washes off over the course of a month or so, so I never have stark roots.

I've tried letting it go a few times, but the white patches look bald (you can see my scalp and count every freckle). So, I'll keep henna-ing it until all of it is white.

You might consider trying henna. It's easy (though messy) and gives you the lowlights and highlights it sounds like you want. Plus roots don't show, since the white is never actually colored, just tinted, and it washes off gradually. This is the brand I use, and have been happy with: http://www.light-mountain-hair-color.com/ Scroll down the page for the color charts. I don't use the "Color the Gray" stuff, just the regular stuff. Half a box does my scrawny hair and lasts for a month or two. So about $3 every couple months.

[shootingstar]

I just turned 51. I started going gray when I was 30. I decided to just go with it. I hate gray roots more than I hate natural gray, and I'm too lazy to be good about dying my hair. Dying your hair is like an addiction. Once you start it's hard to stop. :o Now I'm almost all gray. I just tell people that I match my dog: I'm blue merle.

Well, just turned 51 -yesterday. I confess I pull out the rare errant white hair..I seem to see one once a month or so. Still black hair. My natural black..is not a natural blue-black, but abit softer black because have lots of fine hair.

I keep telling myself I won't colour hair when I get quite grey. And keep telling myself that having black hair, means at least one can go gray in a more even-colour way.

We'll see. I do dislike the hot trend for many Asian women with black hair to use strong colour dyes of red-brown, brown, etc. and blonde, that must be used to cover up the black. The thought of dealing with uneven colour hair roots doesn't interest me. It's like starting to walk down chemical road. Some of my Asian friends have started to go grey and they have not coloured their hair --yet. But then, they fall in same age group as me. And yes, they are cyclists. :)

Figure I'll be taking a necessary drug for whatever health problem when I get frail, so do I really need another chemical on my body?

[hammertime]

brunette here... and I color.

47yo, will be 48yo in June... I think I started coloring 3yrs ago. My hair was shorter then, and it had 'some' grey... but one day it just looked 'blah', so I started coloring it and highlighting it and it looked wonderful... I was hooked.

Now I'm wearing my hair much longer, and the grey (to me) looks awful at this length... so if I want to have my hair longer, I continue to color it. I don't do highlights anymore, they are super $$$ and honestly with all my biking and running in the summer, I seem to get naturaly highlights from the sun. My straight one over all color seems to be enough.

I stay at medium brown color cause that matches my natural color... and I like it. I like my hair longer and I like the brown.

One day I might grow my grey in, maybe I never will... but now, this color works for me. I go about once every 7 weeks and it costs $45.00. I have been through a few colorists and if you are persistent, you can find a good one for low cost... you don't have to pay top dollar at top salons to get good color.. you just gotta do your homework and find one at a low cost.

Good luck to you... whatever works for you is what you should do... after all, it's your hair, and your life... and you gotta feel good on that bike!!!... so do whatever works for you!!

[softthings]

i am a hairstylist, just to throw that out there.

gray is such a pain to start dealing with for most people. if you want color, the best route is the highlights. only because it blends away that line of demarcation you get (skunk stripe) if you are heavily graying. i'd say, do box color until you get the stripe, then consider getting highlights to take the edge off and eventually grow out the gray.

for those that might be wondering, you cannot dye your hair gray. not possible to do and to look natural, most stylist won't even entertain the idea of trying. it just doesn't look like natural gray, it looks more like a punky color. a lot of people come in wanting to dye their hair gray when they start going gray, and it is weird that it is pretty much the only color you can't get from a box or from a stylist.

anyway, that is my suggestion, that, and if it were me, i wouldn't commit to color, i would just ride out the grays. i am starting to get my first few, and my hair is at a point where it is close to my natural color. i'm going to grow it out natural. good luck!

[Eden]

I've used LightMountain Henna too. My hair is dark brown/auburn with some red highlights. I've started getting a fair amount of white recently....

The henna definitely doesn't cover the white, just makes it faintly red. My hair is dark enough that it still shows pretty plainly. I'm resisting any type of color that is permanent as once you start you are stuck and I wouldn't be able to stand the upkeep. Plus the choices are definitely limited if you don't want to expose yourself to a lot of chemicals.

Maybe some time I'll be vain enough to try the LightMountain that covers greys. I don't feel old enough to have a head of white hair... and I don't want to give up having longer hair either, though I'm afraid that the texture is also changing. The whites are less curly and more just wild....

[Skierchickie]

My plan is to embrace it - it's me, it's natural, so why not accept it and focus on skiing/biking/the other important things in life? That being said, I have about 3 individual grey hairs at this point, so my feelings could change, but I don't want to end up being that elderly lady with the unnaturally-perfect brown hair - sooner or later you have to let go.

Oh - and right now I like my 3 grey hairs, because they look kind of silvery.

[OakLeaf]

That being said, I have about 3 individual grey hairs at this point

Ha... Though they've been slow to populate my scalp in any serious way, I got my first grey hair when I was 27. At that point I hadn't cut my hair in 18 years, but that was it. If I was going to have grey hairs, I was d*mned if they were going to be three feet long!

[surgtech1956]

I embraced the gray. I have med-dk brown hair or had, I have quite a bit of gray streaks. I colored my hair a few times, but decided its just a losing battle. I hate when I see women with gray roots coming in, so I decided to go 'o naturale'. Look at Jamie Lee Curtis, she's all gray. Just do what makes you comfortable.

[aka_kim]

I'm 49 and am trying to embrace my gray, but we'll see how that goes. I think all-gray hair is very attractive, it's the transition that's not always so great.

It kind of bothers me that culturally I think women are expected to hide their gray, while men, unless in the public eye, usually don't feel that pressure. Although maybe it's not really a cultural expectation, just a practical way of dealing with early and unwelcome signs of aging.

[TsPoet]

I'm 43 and dirty gray. I started going gray when I was 25.
I'm too lazy to dye.

[Selkie]

I guess I'm tacky because I do get silver roots when it's close to touch up time. ;-) I tried highlights for awhile but found it was too time consuming for me (single process color and a cut are about all the time I want to spend in a salon every 6 weeks).

I'm going to be 47 soon and started seeing silver in my hair when I was 18. Not long after that, I started coloring it myself. Went red, which is perfect for my skin tone (natural hair is brownish/red). When I began my career, I started going to a professional to have it colored. The truth is that the L'oreal shade I was using was lovely but it was a PITA to do it myself. In addition, I could never just do the roots and ended up putting the dye all over, which wasn't good for my hair.

I intend to let it go natural as soon as it's almost completely silver. I couldn't carry off the salt and pepper color (skin tone, etc.). Fortunately, I've inherited my mom's silver, which is gorgeous---white & sparkly. Just have to wait until the silver overtakes most of the brown......

This is a personal choice for you, and if you are comfortable going natural, do it.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I'm 56. Love my sparkling silver! Got fed up with dyeing about 5 years ago. Good riddance to all that work and mess. I look better now! :D

[Bike Chick]

I'm 51 and started pulling gray hairs from my head at 19 and started coloring at age 23 and continued coloring (both store bought and salon when I could afford it) until I was 45. I gave up the fight and let the gray grow out just to see how bad it really was. I was shocked to see how completely gray I was but also pleased to see what a pretty color gray my hair had become.

I haven't colored since and never will again. It was a constant battle trying to hide the skunk stripe and going lighter and lighter with my color to hide the contrast. My hair is much healthier and I am always receiving compliments--even from complete strangers! I now wear it proudly. I call it my Emme Lou Harris look:D

My husband likes it and my children have gotten used to it. The only person that voices an objection is my mother--who still colors her hair at age 73!

[Bike Chick]

I'm 56. Love my sparkling silver! Got fed up with dyeing about 5 years ago. Good riddance to all that work and mess. I look better now! :D

I'm with you, BleeckerSt_Girl, it's liberating, isn't it? I actually had a complete stranger standing behind me in line at the grocery store tell me she wished she was as brave as me to let it grow out. I don't think it has anything to do with bravery. It was a lot of work and mess!

[Aggie_Ama]

I don't consider myself an overly vain woman but ever since I could remember my hair was the source of compliments. I have naturally straight, thick but fine texture hair. If I think it looks good I feel great. At some point I will embrace my gray but not anytime soon. My simple hair takes 20 minutes from wet to out the door and still gets tons of compliments. So I admit it, I dye because I am too in love with my hair to try gray. :o I use the Loreal 10 minute dye and it really doesn't feel like too much work.

[Crankin]

I am 56 and I really don't have much gray. Only a few errant hairs at my part, which I vigorously pull out. I was a natural blonde, whose hair was always many different colors. In fact, my mom was often accused of highlighting my hair when I was young! All of a sudden,when I was around 40, I realized I was no longer a blonde, but a light brown haired person, with some golden highlights. Did not like that at all. I had experimented with highlights in my early thirties, but didn't continue for a few years. So, I've been highlighting my hair for around 15 years. My hairdresser uses foils and it does not smell at all. I just cut my hair very short again (a pixie), which is flattering to me. So, I've had highlights with all lengths and styles. Frankly, I do not want to show any gray right now. I don't look good in silver, especially next to my face. It just washes me out. I have some deep laugh lines and I don't need anything making me look older while I am changing careers and looking for a job in 2011! Right now, most people I am working with think I am in my mid forties and I prefer to keep it that way, until I am no longer concerned about age discrimination. I think that just continuing to highlight as I have been will take care of most of the gray initially, especially, since my hair is short. Then, I will probably try the low lights.
Since my parents didn't really get gray until 65 or so, I have a while to worry.
Yes, I am vain, but, hey, I accept it.

[KnottedYet]

Yes, I am vain, but, hey, I accept it.

Doesn't sound vain to me. Sounds pragmatic. Good on ya!

[malkin]

I don't mind it.
When the subject comes up, I call it "going platinum."

[Catrin]

I change my mind on this one - right now I dye my hair - the gray streaks washes out my complexion and makes me look about 15 years older than I am. My profession is very male-dominated, and I've noted that I get treated with more respect - and they seem to listen to me more - when my hair is dyed. I don't think it should matter, but for now I will continue to color my hair. I reserve the right to change my mind again in the future :p

I don't think it would be quite the same if I had a full head of silver - it is the in-between stuff...

[Bike Chick]

I will agree that when I see pictures of myself as a brunette, I consider dying my hair again because I look so much younger. I think the gray adds about 10 years to my face but when I remember having to dye it every 3 weeks and wear a style to keep the grow-out covered, I reconsider.

You do have to change the color of your clothing and makeup to keep the gray hair from totally washing out your complexion. It's a big change.

[kmehrzad]

the texture is also changing. The whites are less curly and more just wild....

Eden is so right about the change in texture. If there's one positive about going gray it's that it gives your hair more body (or so I find). I color my hair and have gone lighter than my previous brown, but one day I hope to 'embrace the silver' and save some money. ;)

[owlice]

I used to have dark blonde hair, but now have very fine light brown hair with some silver/white/grey hairs. I've earned them all! I'm far too lazy and cheap (er, frugal; yeah, that's right, I'm frugal :D ) to color my hair. I grew it long, cut it off and donated it last year, and will continue to do that until I have too much grey for my hair to be donation-worthy. (Dyed hair can't be donated.) As I age, my hair gets thinner and thinner, so I don't really care what color any hair is, so long as I get to keep it!

[kmehrzad]

I don't mind it.
When the subject comes up, I call it "going platinum."

Speaking of platinum, have you seen Emmylou Harris' hair? That's one gorgeous head of 'platinum' hair. It used to be gray, if I recall correctly.

[five one]

I'm soon to be 58 and began getting gray in my mid-thirties. A natural dark brunette, I made the decision to go short and layered (from a chin-length bob) and not color my hair. I've never regretted it. It's about 30 - 40% gray in front and a bit less in back. As fast as my hair grows, I'd have to do the roots about every two weeks to combat the halo effect of the incoming gray. I have better things to do with my time and money. I get compliments from both men and women and my DH loves it. That's good enough for me :).

Joan Baez is my role model for going gray.

It's certainly a personal decision. Do what makes you feel good.

[Chicken Little]

Do whatever you want, but I am just ignoring mine. A good cut can make any head of hair look good.

[kmehrzad]

Joan Baez is my role model for going gray.

It's certainly a personal decision. Do what makes you feel good.

I agree, Joan Baez does have beautiful hair, even when it was salt and pepper, the blend was lovely.

[marni]

My mother dyed her hair red for most of my adult life. When she was 78 she went into the hospital for emergency open heart surgery. I flew in from Atlanta with a 6 week old baby, arriving just minutes before she went into the OR. She hadn't told me that she had let her hair go gray in the last few months so I sttood there confronted with this frail old old woman hooked up to machines and two thoughht running through my brain "oh my God she is going to die" and " don't faint, you'll drop the baby".

Based on that experience I am never going to dye my gray. I am 61 and have some flecks of gray in my medium brown hair, mostly around the temples. Some days I can't tell if it's my hair turning white or my hair line is receding. I also wear my hair in a very short buzz since it suits me and I can't be bothered with messing with my hair, so perhaps my gray doesn't show much. I am the only one of 5 sisters who iis not either completely slat and pepper or white. must be all the biking.

marni

[azfiddle]

I seem to be in the minority... I started going gray in my 20's and started coloring my hair in my 30's.

I'm 53, and have not figured out how I will eventually switch to gray, but I've been reluctant to do it yet, because I teach middle school and also I perform regularly with a band. In both of those arenas, there are advantages to not looking too old... and I would definitely look a lot older with the amount of gray I have.

[Crankin]

Nope, AZfiddle, I'm totally with you...
I do agree that Joan Baez looks great. Too bad my skin isn't like hers!

[GLC1968]

I'm 41. I tried to go natural last summer and it was too uncomfortable.

I lived grey for about 5 months. It was beautiful and I got compliments from strangers. I cannot wait until I'm 50 so that I can go back to that. Why did I start coloring it again? The world treats you vastly differently when you are THAT grey and I wasn't ready for it. I had women my mother's age treating me like I was their friends and people my own age 'maam-ing' the hell out of me. I was totally invisble to young people. No one could tell if I looked really good for 55 or was prematurely grey. Honestly, I couldn't take it and I still can't really adequately explain it, either.

I hate that I now color my hair because of how society treats me, but there you have it. I'm a conformist. Or vain. Whatever.

When I turn 50, I'll go back to my natural grey again (of course, by then, I'll probably be totally white!). It was liberating and attractive...I just wish it was more acceptable.

Check it out - first photo was taken last summer - second one in October...
http://i631.photobucket.com/albums/uu34/GLC1968/megreyhair.jpghttp://i631.photobucket.com/albums/uu34/GLC1968/caboprofile2.jpg
Society doesn't know what to do with a 40 year old woman who is this grey. :(

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I honestly can't tell you for certain why, but nobody ever treats me like I'm invisible, grey hair or not! :cool: LOL

[kmehrzad]

GLC1968, I love the photo of you with gray hair, absolutely love it!! It's a great cut for your face and hair texture. If there was some guarantee I'd look like you with gray hair, wouldn't have a second thought embracing it.

[lph]

GLC, you look(ed) fantastic with grey hair, but I know just what you mean. I suspect I'd be almost that grey if I let it grow out completely, and I'm just not ready to "change my age" that fast. I'm 40. I certainly don't want to look 25 or 30, and I don't want to hide the grey, but I highlight my hair instead so that it's visibly both brown and grey, and feel that I look my real age that way.

It's strange, isn't it. It's probably a lot more common than we think to be that grey at that age, but most people don't know it, not even the ones carrying that hair!

[GLC1968]

I should also mention that part of my annoyance with the grey was that I had to keep it cut very short for it to look good.

As much as coloring my hair now is a pain, getting a good cut every 3 or 4 weeks was also a pain. At least I have the option of coloring my own...I can't cut it myself.

(and thanks for the compliments you guys :o)

[OakLeaf]

GLC, you look fantastic either way! :)

I've definitely read that baldness is almost as common among women as men... probably LPH is right about premature greying. I had a friend in law school who was almost completely grey in her late 20s. It didn't help her that she had pretty dry and sensitive skin too, so she really did look much older.

[shootingstar]

I'm 40. I certainly don't want to look 25 or 30, and I don't want to hide the grey, but I highlight my hair instead so that it's visibly both brown and grey, and feel that I look my real age that way.

It's strange, isn't it. It's probably a lot more common than we think to be that grey at that age, but most people don't know it, not even the ones carrying that hair!

Having hair colouring that allows some natural integration of greying is blessing, lph.

Yes, the irony of how prevalent hair colouring among women has become that we no longer know what is "normal" in terms of aging and greying.

GLC you look great in either hair 'colour'. I appreciate the hassle of frequent haircuts for a very short styled cut.

I don't know ...maybe I'm warped..but from a cycling perspective, to see women who cycle lots and have visible grey hair..it looks impressive! I don't have grey hair yet, but yes I never worried much about helmet hair when I walked into workplace to change:

I secretly do want to challenge others to rethink that mid-life women can be consistently physically active and look more alive than their sedentary peers. So I put myself forward, slightly messy with my helmet removed. :)

[five one]

I honestly can't tell you for certain why, but nobody ever treats me like I'm invisible, grey hair or not! :cool: LOL

I am a graying baby-boomer who is a quiet unassuming person and a conservative dresser. I tend not to attract attention to myself. For this reason, I am invisible to 20-30 something sales associates in the retail world. Most of the time I don't mind because I like to be left alone when I shop. When I'm ready to pay though, they had better not ignore me. I got really loud once in Tiffany when I was passed over in favor of a couple looking at engagement rings.

That said, this is not a good enough reason to try and shave a few years off by coloring my hair. I don't have a lot of wrinkles, so I probably could pull it off. It's just not worth it to me. My work environment is filled with people of my generation, so I don't have the pressure of fitting in with younger co-workers. But I can understand your reasoning GLC, since you are much younger. I think your hair looked great gray and wondered if you'd kept it that way when you cut it short awhile back. It's a very flattering cut.

I resent that this is not an issue for men. Is anyone telling George Clooney he would look younger/better if he dyed his hair?

[Crankin]

Oh, I think it is an issue for men. They just don't talk about it...

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

There's another factor here that perhaps has not been mentioned...

As women get older (starting in our 50's and then 60's, 70's), I personally think they begin to look really strange if they continue to dye their hair a darkish color with no grey at all. It can look oddly fake and harsh when paired with an older face. Some unusual women can pull off that look, but most cannot (myself included).

And what's up with the maroon thing anyway? :D LOL

[bmccasland]

There's another factor here that perhaps has not been mentioned...

As women get older (starting in our 50's and then 60's, 70's), I personally think they begin to look really strange if they continue to dye their hair a darkish color with no grey at all. It can look oddly fake and harsh when paired with an older face. Some unusual women can pull off that look, but most cannot (myself included).

And what's up with the maroon thing anyway? :D LOL

Not to mention when their grey roots show - the white stripe down the part? "skunk stripe" :eek: Looks sadly silly IMHO

[shootingstar]

As women get older (starting in our 50's and then 60's, 70's), I personally think they begin to look really strange if they continue to dye their hair a darkish color with no grey at all. It can look oddly fake and harsh when paired with an older face. Some unusual women can pull off that look, but most cannot (myself included).

Another reason why I'm not eager to keep my hair all-black into the decades ahead. Nor am I willing to turn it brown-auburn shades or whatever combos. My skin texture and tone has changed. So my hair over time must "blend" in with the times..

As for men not caring or really caring, the worried guys I've noticed tend to be ...those who are losing hair/balding in a wierd patchy way.

Nowadays the contemporary and temporary coverup INDOORS for some guys is a wool ski looking toque, jeans, ....kinda of hip like the young teens. :D But not healthy for the scalp at all. Any experienced hairdresser will tell you that.

[Tuckervill]

I've seen Jason Alexander on TV a couple of times recently, and his hair seems dyed unreasonably black. Then I saw him with a toupe on because of a show he's in, and I think that's why it's dyed black. But it really looked strange on the Jenny Craig commercial.

Karen

[dinabean]

37 here. Embraced the gray for a while, then got a bit sick of it. My next door neighbor happens to be a stylist/own a salon, and she recommended a semi permanent rinse. The nice thing about it is that it does not give me a line when it grows out -- it just fades after 6-8 weeks. So I just start going naturally gray again after a while if I forget/don't have time to go see her. Much better than a line. So far, so good. I am not disciplined enough to get in regularly enough to do a permanent color. I would be the dork with the skunk strip otherwise.

[Crankin]

Lisa, I think you're right about the black hair thing. You and I have the same blonde/blue eye coloring. I think it will be easier for me to blend the light brown/blonde highlights with gray, when and if I do that.
The huge color contrast between black hair and silver is really stark, which is why it looks funky when growing out.

[indigoiis]

I let my gray grow out this year. It looks light/mouse brownish. I used to dye my hair a sort of marroony red which complemented my skin tone. I was born blonde and in my teen years went sun-in blonde and then in college kept up highlights til I tried my first maroon experiment. Now my hair is a bit drab and sometimes I have broken hair on top from pulling it back. But it really does look pretty after blow-drying. I have my good and bad days with it and have considered getting a perm to let it kind of be a messy look. My hair is straight and thick and just hits the shoulders. It's mostly in a ponytail these days...

[beccaB]

I'm 48 and people are commenting on my gray hair, the silver that's mixed in with the brown, although it is mostly brown still. I think a person has to be exceptionally rude to comment on something like that, but I'm starting to think the people I must be associating with are of some low class trashy bunch. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I personally would never comment on someone's appearance other than to compliment them! I like my silver actually, and it goes well with the silver and turquoise jewelry I like to wear. Besides, not coloring it means more money for beer! Good beer! Microbrew!

[malkin]

More money for beer!
Amen sister! (at BYU right now).

[featuretile]

I just don't like gray hair. I have always had long brown hair. Because it is so long, I can't do anything with a box of color. I go to a hairstylist about every 3 months. She puts in this lovely semi-permanent color called "Wella Dark Irish Red". It does not turn my hair red. Instead, the brown stays brown, and where the gray would be, it turns auburn. I get more compliments on my hair now than I did before. The color slightly fades after awhile, so there is no definite line. I'm 57 and everyone thinks I am in my late 40's. My hair went from completely straight to quite wavy.

Most of my biking friends have short gray hair. They are only a few years older than me, but tell me I am doing so well (I've only been riding for a year) because I am so much younger than them. Then I tell them my age. I'm not into make-up or plastic surgery, but I do like nice hair. It doesn't take all that much effort, so I wonder why anyone would want to look 10 years older. I suppose when my color no longer works, and I am very old, I will let it go natural.

[Tuckervill]

My hair went from completely straight to quite wavy.

I don't really want to hear that. Mine has become wavy only in a strip down the back. (I'm 48.) Before it was straight all over. I wonder if it has something to do with hormones. I recently had a Mirena IUD put in and it doesn't seem like I'm struggling with the waviness in the back like usual. it's been three months so all that hair back there is "new". It is also cut short but I haven't had a hair cut in at least 3 months, so it's grown out a bit. When it was long the waviness was definitely noticeable. Short...it just seems lumpy back there at the base of the skull. But not now. hmmmm.

Karen

[beccaB]

I grew my hair out from being really short a few years ago, and now you can really see the gray. I figure I'll probably cut it short again when it goes completely gray because I think that's a cute look- like Jamie Lee Curtis. I can't really explain why I decided to grow out my hair, except that I decided not to cut it anymore after we got back from visiting Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons and something about that changed me.

[Laterider21958]

I'm 51 and have long (heading toward waist length) thick curly hair. For the past 3 or 4 years I've resorted to Clairol Natural Medium Brown permanent colour in an effort to blend in an irritating top-notch of almost solid grey. I only do the regrowth line (have to do the whole head) each 4 - 5 weeks as I usually keep my hair up in a French roll and it's not all that noticeable until about week 4. I have very few greys at the sides and back, although just recently I notice a few dye resistant hairs beginning to appear in the fringe area.

I'd love to give up dyeing as I worry about what the chemicals are doing to my health, however, I hate that "skunk" look and it would take years and years to grow out the dye line. I refuse to cut my hair as short hair frizzes and is uncontrollable. Would going to a semi-permanent colour (as a transition to going natural) work for me do you think? I'm hoping that the greys will even out and look more presentable soon. I once saw a woman, with similar textured hair as mine, who was a lovely all-over silver grey and she looked wonderful.

[Hairfixr]

Greetings Ladies ~

Lonnie Morse here - USA Champion Hairstylist - semi retired

Regarding your discussion of whether to hair color or not.

My forty years of being in the beauty industry has shown me that when a woman is uncomfortable with her looks - then do something about it. Professional/Retail Hair color is "safe" hair color. I've had my hands in it for years. Hair strands are dead keratin cells there fore hair color cannot seep into your blood stream - even if it did by skin staining, the FDA would not allow it to be sold on the retail shelf ;)

When to color - - you have the rest of your lives to wear gray hair later in life. Some women really never accept gray hair because it simply does not look good "to them". They are the ones that have to live with the look. Yes - sometimes they are the ones that sometimes use their own judgment and apply a color that is too dark - hence the black widow look "wink" Over compensating is a common error with home applied hair color. Professionals always suggest going lighter with color as you age. To put it nicely - it softens the ageing skin process :o


The topic of men came up a few threads back - - The reason many men wear skull caps is they get cold or chilled easily because they do not have sufficient hair for warmth. I have really never come across a guy that worried about going grey prematurely. This probably the reason men’s hair color still hasn't taken off like women’s hair color has. I find that most women compliment a guy about his "distinguish look" so men adjust much more easily than women do. Yup - another unfair mother nature move :mad:

Note: - The reason some women grey gracefully into salt and pepper is because of the contrast of silver grey in contrast to natural dark brown/black hair color. Those who have lighter dark blond/brown "especially red" hair will fight the yellowing tone value during the grey transition. Why :confused: Brown reddish hair that turns grey doesn't go totally silver most of the time - I know - it's not fair - blame mother nature again :eek:

So - for those of you that are not ready yet to go al-naturallel - hang in there a few more years with applying hair color. Do what you need to do to feel good about yourselves.

For those who are totally OK about turning grey - that’s OK too. My favorite client is prematurely Silver Grey - I wouldn't talk her into color at all - She is a Silver Fox - however - she is always in a smart classy haircut. This is an important factor - if you want to keep the sassy look while you age gracefully then keep up with a current trendy haircut that fits your lifestyle. Most on this forum are bicyclist - there are many short classy trendy styles to pick from. For those who wear long hair - ? ? ? Just expect more maintenance because there is more material "hair" to maintain. Longhair styles are generally simpler by reason of control. It is a choice that you are comfortable with, nothing wrong with that. Just know that long hair styles don't age well unless styled carefully. It is also important to accessorize appropriately for the event attended and be confident that you look - "not good enough" - - - - BUT GREAT.

Hope I have not infringed up on this forum that is for women - I will not enter anymore comments unless I'm invited. I felt I had something of benefit to offer.

Buy the way - I am an avid cyclist also:)

hairfixr ~

[shootingstar]

An opinion of an experienced hair stylist is appreciated for this topic.

Do join us more often on cycling stuff here too!

[Crankin]

Nothing to do with gray, but I cut my hair back to the Jaime Lee Curtis style yesterday. I feel back to normal!

[Dogmama]

Nothing to do with gray, but I cut my hair back to the Jaime Lee Curtis style yesterday. I feel back to normal!

Picture? Please? Sounds so cute!

[Crankin]

OK, it will have to wait until DH gets home...

[Jones]

I don't really want to hear that. Mine has become wavy only in a strip down the back. (I'm 48.) Before it was straight all over. I wonder if it has something to do with hormones.

My hair did this when I was pregnant 14 years ago and now it is wavy underneath and in the back but not in the front. I really wish it was all wavy or all straight but half and half is no fun and hard to deal with.

[Laterider21958]

Thanks for your advice Hairfixr. Obviously you've had a lot of experience dealing with all styles and types of hair. Comforting to know your opinion on safety of the chemicals we douse our heads with in an effort to make ourselves feel good. :) I'm about due to do the tide-line yet again!!!!! :D

[Catrin]

Thanks for your advice Hairfixr. Obviously you've had a lot of experience dealing with all styles and types of hair. Comforting to know your opinion on safety of the chemicals we douse our heads with in an effort to make ourselves feel good. :) I'm about due to do the tide-line yet again!!!!! :D

Indeed, thanks for your advice! I debated for the last 3 years about coloring, and finally took the plunge a few months back - and two days ago took another plunge by getting all of my long hair cut off and now have a sassy short style. I actually closed my eyes while my stylist applied the scissors! He did a fantastic job though, and it has been fun to see reactions to the "new me" :)

[tctrek]

I'm 58 and have been coloring my skunk stripe for at least 30 years. I have had times where I get it done professionally and times when I do it myself. I have very dark brown hair and the gray definitely won't come in gracefully. It's a very ugly salt and pepper -- heavy on the salt :confused:(. I am blessed with good skin - very little wrinkling - and I'm just not ready to give in to the gray!

My hair is also very long -- I wear it up all the time, and in a ponytail that I can weave through the back of my helmet and ball caps. At work I wear it up.

Someday, when I'm tired of coloring my hair, I will go very short and maybe start using a rinse of some sort to color the roots until the dark part is all cut off and then go totally grey. I just don't think it's going to be anytime soon.

[Hairfixr]

Yes - the hormones did it to you girl :rolleyes:

Females go through physical hair changes often in life.

1st event is the transition from baby hair to pre-adolescence. Remember the "wet doggy hair smell" kids frequently get :confused: It didn't matter what shampoo you used on them - you still couldn't get the smell out :mad: Blame the hormones.

2nd event comes with puberty. I have seen straight hair turn into very curly while going through puberty. It's not common - but never the less it does happen occasionally.

3rd - having babies will create scary hair loss with in a year after birth. Hair frequently recovers in a different state off straight/curl.

4th - menopause changes every thing from hair texture to hair loss.

5th - any illness along life's path. Chemo will cause significant texture changes in hair. Who cares - life is more precious - put a helmet on girl and lets go riding :p

It is common for a healthy woman of any age to have different patterns of wave mixed with straight hair. I deal with it routinely ;)

hair fixr ~

[shootingstar]

5th - any illness along life's path. Chemo will cause significant texture changes in hair. Who cares - life is more precious - put a helmet on girl and lets go riding :p

Very true. Spoke with a regular cyclist a few days ago who has had breast cancer within the last 2 years and is being treated. She said cycling keeps her going.

[TsPoet]

This is perhaps off-topic, but I have to tell a story.

A few years ago on Bike Idaho, I stopped at a rest stop and sat in the chairs with a whole bunch of people around. I ran my hands through my thick unruly, shoulder length hair and said "I've had it, does anybody have a flowbee?". Half the people laughed, half said "what's a flowbee?" and this guy (who I'd met but didn't know all that well) said - "when we get to camp find me after your shower and I'll cut your hair."
He used his mustache scissors and gave me the most incredible, flattering, easy to care for cut I've ever had. I'd always had somewhat long hair - now I try and keep it his way, but haven't been able to find anybody to cut it for me.
I didn't even see it for 24 hr, until I found a truck mirror I could look in.
So, hair fixr - can you cut my hair the weekend of PIR? I want you to do your magic again!

[GLC1968]

This is perhaps off-topic, but I have to tell a story.

A few years ago on Bike Idaho, I stopped at a rest stop and sat in the chairs with a whole bunch of people around. I ran my hands through my thick unruly, shoulder length hair and said "I've had it, does anybody have a flowbe?". Half the people laughed, half said "what's a flowb?" and this guy (who I'd met but didn't know all that well) said - "when we get to camp find me after your shower and I'll cut your hair."
He used his mustache scissors and gave me the most incredible, flattering, easy to care for cut I've ever had. I'd always had somewhat long hair - now I try and keep it his way, but haven't been able to find anybody to cut it for me.
I didn't even see it for 24 hr, until I found a truck mirror I could look in.
So, hair fixr - can you cut my hair the weekend of PIR? I want you to do your magic again!

Wait - are you saying that HairFixr is the same guy who cut your hair at Bike Idaho??

If so, I think I need to make an appointment and then the drive into Portland. I'm having hair issues. ;)

[TsPoet]

Wait - are you saying that HairFixr is the same guy who cut your hair at Bike Idaho??

If so, I think I need to make an appointment and then the drive into Portland. I'm having hair issues. ;)

Yep!
I honestly thought he was joking (didn't know he was a hairstylist when he made the offer). I was a little afraid when I found out he wasn't joking.
I can't tell you how wonderful the cut was! I have very very unruly hair, with a cowlick in the back and a ski slope on one side...and I sent my mom a picture of me after the next day's ride - even with sweaty helmet hair the improvement was amazing!
and it wasn't just that, it was the lifestyle/personality aspect - he got ME right.

[evangundy]

and Lonnie is not only one of my favorite bike riding buddies, he also does my hair - has for years. He has totally spoiled me for going to anyone else.

Edna
PS to TSPoet: Yay!! you're coming to PIR this year - looking forward to seeing you there :-)

[SLash]

I'm 55 and color. I had my hair colored today and she used a new product that seems to have worked great. It's call Goldwell Triflective. It colors the gray but looks more natural than previous products she's used on me. It ends up where the gray hairs look like highlights. Also left my hair very shiny and soft.

If you're interested here's info about it: http://oneshan.com/?p=498

[Dogmama]

I've decided to NOT be gray. Now, I just need to find a decent stylist in Tucson who can color color-resistant gray hair. I've been to a couple of places for color (when I had only a few strands) and the gray wasn't covered. This gray is bright, silver, shiny & yells "look at me!"

Any advice is welcome.

[footloose]

I haven't had to make the decision on whether to have any gray or not....haven't seen any gray hair yet. I'm 48 and have very long dark blond/brown hair. It had red highlights when I was young but they became blond as I got older.
I've always worked outdoors and have always loved the blond highlights I get in the summer. But as jobs changed, I began always having to wear a hard hat or a company ball cap and on my own time I still am always wearing a cap, a motorcycle helmet or a bike helmet. So I began to not have so many natural highlights and also hated the mousy brown it would go in the winter.
So this winter for the first time, I got highlights at the hairdresser. I really like them but now of course I have to keep it up. They are natural looking enough that there isn't a huge root difference when it's growing out.

I really think the blond highlights brighten my face in the winter and they do make me look younger. People often mention I don't look my age.

My age is not something I personally spend a lot of time thinking about but I am realistic about how some people perceive age and how capable they think you are because of it.
I did NOT let anyone know my age at the utility company I work for until I had been there for over a year. Management knew of course as soon as I filled out the papers to sign on for the job but the men I work with didn't know at first. I was already a small sized woman starting in a "non traditional" position as a gasfitter where there had never been one before...they didn't need to know I was middle aged too!:D

[Selkie]

I've decided to NOT be gray. Now, I just need to find a decent stylist in Tucson who can color color-resistant gray hair. I've been to a couple of places for color (when I had only a few strands) and the gray wasn't covered. This gray is bright, silver, shiny & yells "look at me!"

Any advice is welcome.

Dogmama -- your silver sounds exactly the same as mine. It's white, sparkly and bright. :-) My stylist uses Goldwell color on mine and it covers the silver. Doesn't fade between appts, either, and she usually does only the roots because the color stays true (eventually, the pool chlorine necessitates her having to pull the color through to the ends for ~5-10 mins, but it's maybe every third appt). I have a single-process color, and the Goldwell must be good because I have red hair, which apparently is a hard keeper. Make sure you use a shampoo for color treated hair (I like the Frederick Fekkai color shampoo).

[shootingstar]

I did NOT let anyone know my age at the utility company I work for until I had been there for over a year. Management knew of course as soon as I filled out the papers to sign on for the job but the men I work with didn't know at first. I was already a small sized woman starting in a "non traditional" position as a gasfitter where there had never been one before...they didn't need to know I was middle aged too!:D

I worked at for an engineering firm at a construction site for a few years. I noticed that in fact at least among the men I worked with and saw often, if a woman was small, but "mature" in age, or not too young/teenage looking, she would get more respect.

This assumes that the woman carries herself well, speaks firmly, etc.
Of course, a number of these women wore hardhats for safety reasons, so the whole coloured hair thing just was not as big of a deal. It becomes meaningless when wind blows around, sand flying around and then it rains. Everyone else is tired, ....who really notices?? Everyone tends to notice a tough worker slogging outdoors in terrible weather, not the hair colour.

[Hairfixr]

Regarding : Dogmama request for advice ~

Finding a professional hair colorist.

There are two ways to address wearing hair color.

Corrective and or Creative:

1st - - - Corrective - is to cover grey to match wearers pre-grey shade and tone. This is the hardest part about hair color. Natural hair color is "also" a combination of many different minerals imbedded with in the hair :eek: Add lifestyle sun exposure - so - what is the clients natural shade? It is very hard to find a professional hair colorist these days that even do the "corrective" service any longer. Why - It's tedious as walking on thin ice as the client usually wants the shade/tone value to be that of years past. With that said - expect the color service to be close, not exact for the first few visits. Once the color formulas have been fine tuned and recorded in your client file, only then consistency can be expected. Note: - The professional demi-permanent color products are preferred for this service as they fade slower on tone than semi-permanent "semi's". The retail semi's rarely fade on tone hence the reason professional hair color "product cost" is usually three to four times more than a retail product. Note: the graying can add to the highlighting effect and depth of tone when done properly. So all is not in vain - the gray becomes an asset instead of a liability ;)

My hat is off to MickChick who has alighned herself with a Professional hair colorist - you go girl. Life becomes simpler when your hair colorist makes all the varible decisions of color formulations.

Lady's - just so you know - I don't have a problem with home do it yourself methods "DIY"- some of you do it quite well. However - if your fighting it - go to a Professional.

2nd - - - Creative hair color "weaving", color shade change, highlight, lowlight panels, etc." is what most color clients ask for today. "For most" they prefer not to have the same color/tone they used to have. It wouldn't look natural on them any way as even Asian hair lifts from blue black to brown black warm tone with age. Skin tones change hence the hair color tone should be adjusted accordingly. A true professional colorist knows this - it is a part of their advanced training. This should be "the clue" Ladies - use only season hair colorist (No room for Rookies) here - Ya hear :)



How to find a seasoned hair colorist - - check the paper yellow pages and or internet web sites that say they specialize in hair color. The best way is to simply asks some one who has "the look" your interested in. It is a complement to the wearer that she has been noticed. They will always be happy to refer their stylist. Be patient a few visits to get what your expectations are. From client to client, hair doesn't respond consistently. The hair colorist is dealing with the unknown when first dealing with your locks. You have brought a lot of unknown baggage with you that the colorist will have to do a CSI on. Example: - iron buildup in hair is the number one cause of a fresh highlight going too warm in tone. The chemical reaction causes the iron to turn to rust with in the hair. This is just one of the challenges a professional faces with a first time client. They have access to clarifiers that remove unwanted trace elements. Most Pros will do this clarifying treatment on their clients before every color service.

Hope this helps with "the hunt" for a professional hair colorist.

Hair Fixr ~

[lph]

Example: - iron buildup in hair is the number one cause of a fresh highlight going too warm in tone. The chemical reaction causes the iron to turn to rust with in the hair.

Wow. I learn the most amazing things on this forum. Thanks for a fascinating post :)

[shootingstar]

Was wondering how hair acquires iron buildup over time. :confused:

[Dogmama]

Wow - thanks for all of the information! I had been going to a stylist who colored my hair 4-5 times but was never able to cover those silver/gray "shooters". That's why I'm looking for somebody else. I have a bead on one person, so we'll see. She's been a stylist for a long time & has a big following. From what you've said, my wishes aren't for rookies because I do want subtle highlights & lowlights. Flat brown is too aging.

I don't mind paying for service. The stylist I saw would charge ~$160 for a cut & color ($60 for the cut & $100 for the color - but as I said - I ask for a lot.) But, I do expect to have those little nasty hairs colored, especially after five tries. I understand that some gray is "color resistant" but can't that be overcome with an H-bomb of color? :p

[Hairfixr]

Shooting Stars ask: - Was wondering how hair acquires iron buildup over time.


Hair Fixr reply ~

Hair captures and retains minerals as you shampoo your hair.

Here are some of the more "un-popular" minerals frequently found in water. Iron, silica, lime, copper, calcium, lead, etc,

Look at the water ring in the bathroom stool. The color of the ring will tell you which mineral is predominate in your area.

Brown Rust color = iron from well water and old cast iron pipes found in municipal water systems.

Whitish crusty = lime, calcium, silica from well water.

Aqua Green = new homes with copper plumbing.

Mucky brown/gray = lead from well water.

Any of these minerals can cause havoc in a hair color formula.

How it happens: - When you stand under the extra warm shower stream, the cuticle layer of the hair opens up from the water temp. The hair acts like a filter as the body's "negative" magnetic attraction holds the "positive charged" minerals in place. As you Rinse the shampoo/conditioner off - the PH of the shampoo closes the cuticle layer of the hair hence trapping the minerals under the cuticle layer of the hair shaft. Day after day of this procedure builds up enough minerals that even virgin hair "no color" is changed enough that a professional colorist can tell. Blonds get warmer over time, Browns loose the Auburn luster, Brunettes get dull, the side effects are endless.

For you short hair girls - this is less of a issue as you keep the hair cut short so the serious build up is removed by regular haircuts. For the long hair styles it becomes a issue to deal with. Mineral build up is what makes hair appear dry and un-manageable many times. Think about what is making the ring in the stool - that is what is going on in the hair :eek:

When I was in Oklahoma I had my clients use a treatment when ever they felt they needed it to remove the hard water mineral build up. Ask your colorist what they suggest for your area. Every area differs with severity of minerals ;)

Note: The new home water filter systems are great for dealing with this issue. The older salt water treatment systems for hard water will not.

Hair Fixr

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Ok I have to ask... am I the only one who keeps accidentally reading this thread title as
To be or not to be - gay ?? :cool: :D

[moderncyclista]

Ok I have to ask... am I the only one who keeps accidentally reading this thread title as
To be or not to be - gay ?? :cool: :D

Bwahaahahahaahaha!

BleeckerSt_Girl, me too. Exactly. I can't keep my brain from reading this either. :D

[Zen]

Ok I have to ask... am I the only one who keeps accidentally reading this thread title as
To be or not to be - gay ?? :cool: :D

No, I've been reading it that way from the start. Gay or gray, you can cover it up but underneath it's not a choice :p

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

no, i've been reading it that way from the start. Gay or gray, you can cover it up but underneath it's not a choice :p

lol!! :D

[Catrin]

I thought I was the only one reading it that way! :p

[Selkie]

I just want to celebrate the fact that I have found myself a local version of Hairfixr! :):):):):) Not only is this new stylist excellent at cutting hair, she gave me a gorgeous color (a more vivid red that looks natural). She actually cut my hair to make the most of my hair's assets---i.e., wavy curls---while keeping in mind the fact that I am a wash-and-go kinda gal. The salon is very professional---all the stylists and the owner work, don't gossip---and the place is clean/pleasant. In addition, it's located within walking distance of my house.

My final appointment at my old salon was very disturbing. I won't get into the details but it's been a long time since I've been treated like crap by a service provider (particularly someone whom I've been patronizing for more than a year and whom I tip very generously).

[Bike Chick]

Good for you, MickChick! I'm tired of the local shop experience too and the fact that I have no "style." I want something that is attractive and flattering no matter if it is styled or not (ie after removing the bike helmet or running 5 miles). I have an appointment Wednesday and hope I have the same experience.

An old buddy from high school has become a very successful stylist with 2 upscale salons a couple hours from me. He has begged me to come see him and let him cut my hair. (BTW, my gray drives him nuts.) I took the day off this Wednesday and am going to spend the afternoon at his salon. I'm excited about getting a new style but I have told him the gray stays. I'll keep you posted on the outcome.

[Selkie]

Several years ago, I used to drive an hour to have my hair colored by one of the best colorists I've ever had do my hair. I considered this person a friend and she really cared about making me look good. Luckily, the stylists there were all great, too, so my cuts were nice, too. The colorist moved about 50 miles away, which was just too far for me. I still miss her and on many occasion, I wish I hadn't lost touch w/her. I consider myself very fortunate to have found this new stylist.

My point is that sometimes, it's simply worth the drive....

Good Luck!! I'm sure you'lll look gorgeous---take a risk and let him color your hair! It'll keep you going back to him. ;-)

[Dogmama]

Thought I found somebody who could do color. She gave me a gorgeous butterscotch/brown color that fit my facial coloring perfectly. Within two weeks, it turned red. And I'm using good shampoo & conditioner (Pureology) tepid water, etc. Maybe I'll just dye it black, get me a broom, pointed hat & a cauldron. I already have the black cat.

[Selkie]

Dogmama, call her and tell her what happened. I bet she will fix it, gratis.

[softthings]

@ dogmama +1 to what mickchick said. as a hairstylist, we almost always will fix stuff like that for free. sometimes you just can predict how hair is going to hold on to a color. especially if you are going light to dark and especially on gray. gray is just a resistant hair texture sometimes. annoying lil buggers i tell ya. good luck!

[tctrek]

I just found a new colorist/stylist, too! Amazingly, she's right down the street and I had never paid attention to it. I've been coloring my own gray for years... I have long dark brown hair, but I'll bet that I'm actually about 50% gray. Then I broke my wrist (bike crash) and couldn't do the coloring myself, so in a panic I called this salon down the street and made an appointment.

They knew right away that I was coloring my own hair and started taking steps to condition it and even out the color. Wow, it's been only 3 visits and my hair looks completely different.. more natural, more shine and way healthier. I just had a Brazilian Keratin treatment done and it's amazing. My hair is super silky and straight instead of frizzy, even after I have it in a ponytail under a bike helmet! I'm in love with this salon.

I'm just not ready to go gray and I may never be ready. As long as my hair looks this good, I'm not going to think about it. :D

[softthings]

tctrek, which salon? i used to live in atlanta. and congrats on the fabulous new 'do!

[tctrek]

It's called Salon Greco. It's actually north of town in Suwanee.

[lph]

Reviving this thread! 'cos I am about to Go Grey. :D

No, I don't "feel" grey, at 41 (and I am grey, maybe 60-70%), but I'm ready to try not caring. I hate the yellow colour my dyed hair goes in summer. I don't like even thinking about that I should wear something over my hair in the sun. I'm pissed that men get to go grey and still look cool and sexy while women who are grey look "old". Sure, many women in their forties (and thirties) don't have grey hair, but then again, many women DO.
etcetcetc.

Anyway, I sort of have to try a new hairstyle since I'm cutting a fair bit off. Does anyone have any tips? Any good sites to browse through?

I have a longish face and dry curly hair that goes frizzy easily. So I'm a bit wary of cutting it too short. Any ideas or pointers? Haven't had a "hairstyle" since I was a teenager so I'm a bit out of it.

[GLC1968]

I'll be very curious to see what you think of being grey at 41!

As I think I posted, I tried it but ended up coloring again. I was grey for about 5 months I think. At the time, my self image was in the toilet, so being grey just made it worse. I often wonder how I'd feel about it now that I'm in a better place. I may try it again before my personal target at 50. ;)

Anyway, when I did it, I let it grow out as much as I could (which might be easier for you being blonde) and then basically buzzed it off. I think it was an inch long or so and I had my stylist at the time try to make it look a little edgy with pieces around my face instead of just getting a buzz cut like my husband wears! I'm lucky that I have very thick hair so that I could wear a cut *that* short and still look polished. The photo I posted earlier in the thread was about 3 cuts after the initial one.

Searching for short, grey hairstyles online mostly got me images of Jamie Lee Curtis...but you might find one or two that would work for you.

Definitely post pics after you do it!! :D

[shootingstar]

I don't have your type of hair, lph so really I shouldn't give any suggestions on cut/style. Except whatever you choose, may the cut look elegant under whatever weather conditions and even after taking off your helmet.

I'm getting abit more grey strands but it's not obvious or much...considering the fact there has been some significant life-changing stresses in past 5 months. I think there's other aging factors I have to remember: it's more the fact the air in Alberta/the prairies is much drier so people might wrinkle...faster.. :rolleyes: We get alot more sunny days than Vancouver. Way more than Toronto.

I'm more concerned about my skin vs. my hair colour..which the latter is still natural.

[SheFly]

Still gray here! Once I stopped coloring, I've never looked back. I'll be 43 this year and wear my hair VERY short (not buzz, but definitely about the same length as the Jamie Lee Curtis style to which GLC referred).

And for me, it's more about the not caring. This is who I am. I did, however, think it was funny when I saw my mom this winter after a couple of months of not seeing her and she commented on how gray my hair was :D Of course, she's gray and still colors hers!

Go for it. Embrace it. Enjoy it. And think about the savings ;).

SheFly

[shootingstar]

Enjoy it. And think about the savings ;).

SheFly

Yea, it amazes me on the additional costs when I hear some women who go to salon to have the hair colour job..vs. the store-bought DIY home efforts.

I honestly believe any woman with the right hair cut for her face shape, lifestyle, looks fabulous. That's the foundation for hair looking good plus the health of the hair.

[lph]

Go for it. Embrace it. Enjoy it. And think about the savings ;).

SheFly

Oh, that is indeed part of it all. ;) I can afford it, but I wasn't happy about my haircut until I started cutting it cut and coloured at a pretty swank salon. It's close to work so I'll probably still go there, but it really isn't me to want to pay a whole lot of money to look smashing. I'm probably their only customer who on purpose lets her hair grow out in between seldom visits, to see "what it really looks like" :p And I'm coming in to some serious dental bills for both me and my son soon, so I could do with saving some money.

I don't feel quite up to a buzz cut... and I have thin hair. I wouldn't mind looking like Jamie Lee Curtis (who would? :D) but I have no idea how my curls would behave at that length... And the last thing I want is a head full of top-heavy loopy curls that take an age to grow out. But I do like the way I look with my hair up, so maybe I should just go for the buzz... :eek:

[GLC1968]

Yeah, my hair is curly too - you should see it now that it's almost to my shoulders! The only way I can look good with short hair is if it's short enough to basically cut off the curls. Otherwise, it just gets BIG and unflattering. ;)

Honestly though, now that I color it myself and only cut it about every 6 months or so, my costs are WAY down. I use L'Oreal's 10 minute color so it barely takes any time at all, too. :o

Editing to add: Just to clarify, I do NOT think you should color it. In fact, you are inspiring me to think about trying the grey again myself!

[Biciclista]

I have been grey for 2 years now. I survived the Italian relatives last year, only 1 asked me "what's wrong with you?" As I will be 60 at the end of this year... I knew I didn't want the hassle but most of all I like the way my hair FEELS.

[Crankin]

My answer hasn't changed from the beginning of the thread...
Never.

[redrhodie]

I had to look back to the beginning of this thread, because I couldn't remember if I was going gray last year. Well, I am now! My red hair is now more buff, which I heard would happen. I'm just going with it. It looks fine. I like it. My hair is light, so I don't really notice all the white ones unless I specifically look for them. However, they seem to show up in pictures, so maybe I'm just in denial. :o

I plan on being one of those gorgeous old women with long gray hair (well, I can achieve part of that, anyway :p). I can't imagine ever coloring my hair, mostly because I'm one of those earthy crunchy no make up types who can't be bothered with grooming. I like the idea of accepting the inevitable. I'm a slacker to the core.

I don't know about coloring, but I wonder, is it possible to stop dyeing in sections, like the way they put in highlights, so you can do it gradually? Or do you have to cut all the dyed stuff off at the color line? That sounds so drastic. I can't help but think of "Twin Peaks", going gray over night.

[Dogmama]

Since I started this thread, I've been doing highlights/low lights. Found out that my gray is very resistant to color. My hairdresser, who I do like, sometimes really blows it & my highlights are too yellow, but it does hide any gray hairs. Unfortunately, blonde hair totally washes me out (I'm naturally dark brunette.) So, I can go blonde & be washed out, or go darker but have the gray roots show more (I'm about 25% gray.)

Honestly, I'm getting tired of messing with it. I have to be careful in a pool - putting special conditioners on, I have to wear a hat in the sun, use special shampoos & condition like crazy. It's just shoulder length and I'm thinking about just letting it be gray. If I do it now, I won't have to suffer the skunk gray stripe while I'm growing it out - or do a Jamie Curtis cut. I like being able to pull it back in the gym, when I'm lazy or when I'm hot flashing.

I do resent, as was stated, that men get to be gray and distinguished. They also get to be a little chunkier as they age. The good news is that we don't have to worry about E.D.! :p:p:p

[GLC1968]

I don't know about coloring, but I wonder, is it possible to stop dyeing in sections, like the way they put in highlights, so you can do it gradually? Or do you have to cut all the dyed stuff off at the color line? That sounds so drastic. I can't help but think of "Twin Peaks", going gray over night.


I asked this myself of two different hairdressers from two different salons and they literally both looked at me like I had two heads. The little caption over their identical expressions would have read simply: 'Huh?". I don't think either of the 20-something hairdressers I'd had could comprehend why a woman would want to let her hair color go natural. It actually struck me as funny because you'd think in such a 'crunchy' place as Portland, it would be common. (my last haircut was done by Lonnie (hairfixr) and I know that he wouldn't get confused if I asked to go grey again! ;))

You would think there would be a 'grey' hair product that would allow an easier transition. I literally did the overnight grey thing and I got a LOT of strange looks and whispers behind my back. Oddly enough, people only commented on my hair cut to my face and not the color which was funny since I'd been that short before and the color was clearly the striking change...

[limewave]

I'm a little obsessive about getting my hair styled. I love my hair. I do. I'm not going to apologize for it. Loving my hair is purely about allowing myself to be pampered--has nothing to do with image.

I recently started having my hair colored when I get it cut. My stylist is amazing! She competed in the Hair Olympics for the US a few years back. Anyways, for a cut, color, style, and tweeze/wax of the brows it is only $35.

She used to work at a swanky, expensive salon--which is how I found her. When we were really struggling financially I would save my pennies and collect pop cans so I could go. I only went about once every 4-5 months. There is something so relaxing and luxurious about a good hair styling.

[shootingstar]

http://cyclewriteblog.wordpress.com/about/

I have straight but headful of fine, no-coloured hair. My cut has become shorter over the past 4 yrs. (Scroll down on pg. after going to link..)

Photo taken last year. In the photo, I did not use a curling iron nor blow-dry any fullness into it. I was in Europe for that photo...and there I realized I could wean myself off from curling iron and blow dryer for first few months.

The fullness at the back is achieved by the right cut. A short cut makes me look younger...and not so tired looking by lifting the weight of hair upward over my ears. :p

I turned 52 this yr. This photo hides my fine aging lines when I laugh..

So a precision-cut, well-chosen is where I spend my "fashion" money on myself.....approx. every 3-4 months. (Should be abit more often, but I can't afford it.) I'm not into sauna weekends, pedicures, facials, manicures... I totally agree, limewave a wonderful hair cut and styling job is beauty pampering that lasts ..for months. I really do assess a hairstylist skill ..cutting straight hair, especially black...can really show a mistake in unevenness, etc.

Unlike some folks here, I wash my hair daily. With black hair I gotta seriously monitor if the dry prairie air will shrivel up my scalp..into dandruff..

[malkin]

My hair can be maniacally unruly.

The relatives' question "What's wrong with you?" reminds me of my kalabash granny who in her 90s, listened patiently as her doctor informed her of her blood pressure, cholesterol, lung deterioration, osteoporosis, etc., etc., etc., and then she calmly asked him,

"Well, Doctor, have you checked my age lately?"

[PamNY]

The relatives' question "What's wrong with you?" reminds me of my kalabash granny who in her 90s, listened patiently as her doctor informed her of her blood pressure, cholesterol, lung deterioration, osteoporosis, etc., etc., etc., and then she calmly asked him,

"Well, Doctor, have you checked my age lately?"

Your granny sounds cool.:D

[Miranda]

Sorry, being lazy reviewing this thread cos it's late & I'm tired from work, can't recall if I responded... but I'm going to turn gray naturally.

I have just a few white hairs coming in. I'm a natural redhead. I colored my hair once with highlights and end of relationship with the hair stylists was a disaster. No more color for me, ever.

The older I get, the less make-up and bling I've got going on too. Idk, I just feel better natural... still groomed though.

I read this book recently and enjoyed it, fwiw.
"Going Gray..." -Anne Kreamer
http://www.amazon.com/Going-Gray-Motherhood-Authenticity-Everything/dp/0316166618

[emily_in_nc]

I'd been thinking about letting myself go gray for several years but never had the nerve to do it, mostly because of not wanting to look old at work. However, I had switched a gentler hair color a few years back that let some of the gray peek through between colorings, just to get myself ready. I used a color that was close enough to my natural color that I didn't even get serious "roots" with it, as I did with the heavy-duty level 3 permanent colors I used to use.

Last May, on our anniversary trip to Belize, I just decided then and there not to color any more. My hair was wildly curly from the humidity there, and I just decided I liked being natural and free. So, that's what I did. Haven't colored since.

My hair is a mixture of white, blonde, light brown, and very dark brown hairs, kind of a frosted look. I often think it looks blonde/frosted when I look at myself in the mirror, but when I see photos, it looks more gray. I can live with it, though. I used to have light ash brown hair when I was in high school/college, but after that I started coloring, so it's been interesting to see what it morphed into over the years. Here's what it looks like:

http://i816.photobucket.com/albums/zz82/emilys7atgmaildotcom/emily_small.jpg

I feel very liberated!

[SheFly]

Emily - I think the hair looks amazing! It suits you very well.

Here is a pic of me taken a couple of years ago. My hair is more gray now, and shorter. I LOVE having it so short - no dryer, no iron, still looks good after being in a helmet or ski hat...

SheFly

[Crankin]

I'm with She Fly on the short hair; my hair is unbelievably unruly, frizzy, twisty, bendy. Not curly, just awful. The liberation I felt when cutting it really short and not having to worry about looking like a monster when I take my helmet or ski hat off is awesome. My water bottle is my styling implement!
I am a natural blonde; my hair has always been golden, not white, and many different colors. I started getting various kinds of highlights at around age 30, on and off, as my hair darkened. I can't even stand having brown hair, let alone gray. The dark color really washes out my face, as does anything silvery looking near my face.
So far, I have had a few periods where I seemed to get some gray near my temple, but I pulled them out and they haven't returned. The few wisps that are there look blonde. My stylist and I have found a great color that as it grows out actually looks like highlights; I only get it done every 3 to 4 months. Yes, I have to condition it and use a different shampoo, but I already buy really good products, as my hair as stated above is unruly. I don't ever put my head under the water, as I wear contacts, so I don't have to worry about that.
I guess that while my "regular" (non-cycling) friends would definitely put me in the crunchy category, it's more in the area of my values. When it comes to my appearance, my inner Jewish princess comes out! I don't care, because as Limewave said, going to the salon makes me feel great. In the next couple of months I will be going on job interviews, with 25 year olds as my competition. Enough said. It's a fact of life that most people don't see older people as active, like all of us are. The fact that my co-workers at my internship think I am in my early forties kind of amazes me. They just don't understand any of it.

[roadie gal]

Short, gray, wash and go, easy.

It's everything I want in my hair.

[katluvr]

Scanned most of this thread.
I have almost shoulder length hair. At age 40 I finally grew it out (it was short short for 20 years), then I bobbed it and now it is a bit longer (I am 47 now). I started with high & low lights, now I get the roots taken care of and high/low lights too as needed. I am really good friends with my professional stylist...and she makes me look great.
My hair is not very carefree, but it is what I want/need right now. I really don't know when I will decide to give it up and go grey. Right now I would say never. I don't think I have a nice natural grey (yet) and still fighting the looks of aging.
I guess if I could not afford it, I would give it up. But it is my splurge and I like what I see in the mirror.

K

[wnyrider]

I started letting my grey take over last month. Had a monumental birthday come up when I was due to dye. Skipped the dye and downed a couple Tequila Rose shots in celebration. It is at an awkward stage right now. I just got it cut shorter, but the hairdresser wouldn't cut it as short as I dared, she was afraid I'd have remorse. So you can see the obvious color line. Ugh! With the age spots becoming more prominant and plentiful, plus finding some white hairs in my eyebrows, I gave up. I am an older mom, so the obvious signs of aging were not quite, how should I say, appreciated. The new growth actually looks more white than grey to me. I think it looks kind of neat. I am going to keep getting the ends cut shorter more frequently and see how it ends up looking.

http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x415/wnyer/goinggreyundercover-1.jpg

[emily_in_nc]

The new growth actually looks more white than grey to me.

Actually, gray hair is not actually gray. It's white hairs mixed with darker hairs that just looks gray from a distance. I read this and surely found it to be true on my own head. And depending on the color(s) of the dark hairs, and the proportion of white to darker, gray hair has many "shades". Up close each hair is a different color. So you are mostly white, not really "gray".

The true salt-and-pepper steel gray look that many think of as "gray" hair is actually very dark brown or almost black hair mixed with white hairs. Because my own hair has blondes and various shades of brown plus white, it has a blonder gray look to it rather than that bluer steel gray. One of my co-workers is true steel gray, and I'd be willing to be that she had very dark hair when she was in her 20s, though I didn't know her then.

Have you considered a temporary or semi-permanent color as your hair grows out, if you don't like the "line"? That would give you a more consistent look until your hair is long enough to get all the permanently colored part cut off and just let the temporary color wash out.

[emily_in_nc]

Emily - I think the hair looks amazing! It suits you very well.

Here is a pic of me taken a couple of years ago. My hair is more gray now, and shorter. I LOVE having it so short - no dryer, no iron, still looks good after being in a helmet or ski hat...

SheFly

Thanks, SheFly! I actually like it better than my colored hair -- the color I was using was a bit darker (dark golden blonde, to be exact), and I think this is more flattering to my skin tone, even more so when I have a bit of a tan in the summer. Once I saw what color my hair was without haircolor, I wished I'd ditched the color 10 years ago. Just think of all the time and money I'd have saved!

I really like your short cut. I keep getting mine cut shorter and shorter as it's so much easier for cycling, running, getting ready for work, and I hate sweaty hair on the back of my neck. I sweat a LOT back there. So I make my stylist cut it really short and stacked in the back, and she even shaves my neck some b/c my hairline is a bit long back there. When we move to Belize, I'm going to cut it as short as yours, b/c with the heat and humidity there, I want even less hair than I have now! But where yours is straight, mine will curl like crazy at that length in that climate.

[emily_in_nc]

I read this book recently and enjoyed it, fwiw.
"Going Gray..." -Anne Kreamer
http://www.amazon.com/Going-Gray-Motherhood-Authenticity-Everything/dp/0316166618

I read that book too -- it was great, and helped give me the courage to stop coloring. The author has the true "steel gray" hair I referred to in a post above, but with the great cut she has, it really does look nice! I loved reading about her emotional struggles with going gray. Interesting stuff.

[shootingstar]

A good friend visited me.... I had not seen her for past 12 months.

she is 55 yrs. or so. She has allowed her black hair to turn naturally grey--moderately. Not just a couple strands.

Also a long-time cyclist.

We didn't even notice/talk about her greyness. Be with some women who care about health but less about hair colour. Maybe it might help..abit?? :cool:

[marni]

years ago I received a2:00 AM call from my sister who was still living at home, informing me that she was disobeying our mother and calling to let us know that Muz was having open heart surgery the next day. I got on the next flight from Atlanta to LA with my six week old, still at the breast baby daughter, and arrived about an hour before she was due to go into surgery. They had already started to ice her down, and she was pretty well sedated. I walked into the room and saw her there hooked up to all kinds of machines and all I could focus on was the gray hair. She had been a redhead all of her life and hadn't thought to tell me that she had stopped dying her hair 6 months before. There I stood alternately thinking "don't faint you'll drop the baby" and "omg she's going to die" "don't faint you'll drop the baby" "omg she's going to die."

That is one of the reasons I have not nor will I ever dye my hair to cover up my gray.

[Selkie]

Is this thread revival a sign from above? I have to go an extra week between appts (7 vs 6) because the stylist who does my cut/color is out of town. Yesterday, I noticed how much more sparkling white is in my hair, now that I can see more of the regrowth, and I thought it might time to let it go natural. I am very very lucky---both parents had gorgeous sparkling white grey, so genetics blessed me w/the same. I turned 48 in February. There's a woman in my office in her 70s who dyes her hair red (actually, she goes to a salon, I was shocked to learn). It's the most improbable color and when it fades, well, you get the picture. Since my chosen color is red, I get frightened that I might end up sportin' that look as I get even more white strands.

Unfortunately, I don't have the face for super short hair, so the growing out period is going to be very rough. Maybe I'll get a wig.

I also don't think the stylist will agree that it's time because I still have a good bit of my natural color left. Maybe we can do highlights as it grows out or something? I can't wait until it's 90-100% white.

I refuse to say GREY. It's not GREY, it's white.

[Dogmama]

There's a woman in my office in her 70s who dyes her hair red (actually, she goes to a salon, I was shocked to learn). It's the most improbable color and when it fades, well, you get the picture.

LOL - I know a woman who has orange/red hair & has it done in a salon. I call it "a color not found in nature."

[wnyrider]

...Have you considered a temporary or semi-permanent color as your hair grows out, if you don't like the "line"? That would give you a more consistent look until your hair is long enough to get all the permanently colored part cut off and just let the temporary color wash out.

Actually I hadn't considered that. Thanks! I'll check out the drug store later. What you've stated makes so much sense. Now, if only there was a solution for the age spots!

[Selkie]

LOL - I know a woman who has orange/red hair & has it done in a salon. I call it "a color not found in nature."

I thought my coworker's hair was a DIY job, it's that bad. Poor thing thinks it looks great and was boasting at how she pays a lot to have it done. Shame on the stylist! Of course, knowing my coworker, she probably insists, even if the stylist tried to talk her out of it.

This one is pure red. No copper tones. Bright red that fades to pink. Oy vey. I think the orange one probably looks better!

[emily_in_nc]

Actually I hadn't considered that. Thanks! I'll check out the drug store later. What you've stated makes so much sense. Now, if only there was a solution for the age spots!

I am with you on that!!! I thought about laser treatments, but they'd just come right back with summer riding and moving to Belize, no matter how much sunscreen I use, so it's not worth the cost or downtime. If I were an inside baby, I might do it (laser), but I'm not. :D

[malkin]

Gloves?

[wnyrider]

Gloves?

On my forehead?! :D

[Raindrop]

When I started going grey, it didn't happen gracefully but instead showed up in a big clump on the right side of my head. :eek:

So, I started getting it colored and was ok with that...then started to cut it shorter and shorter and added various colors to the palette, like fushia and purple for awhile. Got tired of that and now wear it shoulder length but still have it colored with highlights (my colorist uses three different shades), but I do this because I barter my hair care by training my hair stylist. I don't know if I'd go to the expense if I had to pay for it outright.

Going grey isn't in the cards for me right now. I'll never say "never", but it's one of the few things I indulge in. The other (also bartered for) is massages.;)

[GLC1968]

Actually I hadn't considered that. Thanks! I'll check out the drug store later. What you've stated makes so much sense. Now, if only there was a solution for the age spots!

Take care with this. I tried this when I went gray. I bought a 7 day temp color to just do the roots around my face as I was growing out my white/grey as a temporary hold over. The problem is that it never truly washes out completely. When I got the brown cut off, I was left with my salt and pepper hair but with purple tinges on my bangs (the temp color after it faded). It looked pretty stupid until I was able to get it cut a second time!

It may work better if your natural color is lighter than mine though...

[malkin]

On my forehead?! :D

Oops, bangs?

[lph]

It feels a bit bizarre to be writing about my hair when Japan is devastated by earthquake and the world is waiting for a nuclear disaster, but then, life is composed of both big things and little things. So here goes, for one of lifes little things.

I went to go get my big scary haircut yesterday. I hadn't cut my hair for over 3 months, and was all psyched up after seeing all your photos of great, cute, smart, attractive grey hairstyles. I was gonna cut ALL of the dyed off and go Real Grey and Short! But then I started looking for tips on short curly hairstyles, and couldn't find anything shorter than I already had, that didn't look like a poodle. I've had longish loose curls for decades... Then my hairstylist - a lovely languid girl in her twenties with long glossy auburn hair and a perfect tan recently touched up in Bali, Thailand and Qatar, I'm not kidding - looked so distressed first at the thought of no dye and then at the thought of cutting off all my curls that I wimped out.

So she "just" took off a few inches, and I discovered that this is more a matter of going natural than going grey. I'm naturally a "cold" dark blond quite close to grey, but with light silver streaks. And now still with brownish streaks and tips, but hey, I'm getting there. NEXT haircut, I'll be all natural :D

Truth be told I'm not wild about the colour, dark blond is pretty blah, but I'm surprisingly happy about having my real, all natural colour there. It just feels, well, like me. :rolleyes:

And I'm a little amazed that I can actually think this much about my hair.

[emily_in_nc]

Truth be told I'm not wild about the colour, dark blond is pretty blah, but I'm surprisingly happy about having my real, all natural colour there. It just feels, well, like me. :rolleyes:

And I'm a little amazed that I can actually think this much about my hair.

+1

and

+1 :D

Good going...and you didn't wimp out, you're just taking it in stages!

My hair stylist is clearly aghast about me no longer coloring. It's clear she doesn't like my natural look (and I always colored at home, so that's not from lost wages). She's a few years older than me and colors her hair blonde. Let's face it, all hair stylists color their hair and will probably do so until they die, so people like "us" are just plain strange to them.

Then again, she also finds my cycling and many other aspects of my lifestyle strange. Do I look like I care? :p

[shootingstar]

There are hair stylists who think it's a great thing if a customer chooses to have natural colour: better hair texture.

And it tends to be hair stylists who have had quite a number of years experience: they're tired of dealing with some of the hair chemicals. They become sensitive to the chemicals. (this should be a warning flag to us)

These are the hairstylists who enjoy trying a new, chic and quality haircuts on customers. I've had several hairstylists like this...over 20 yrs. experience.

[celticgarden]

Fun thread. I've been trying to pluck up the courage to stop coloring. For inspiration I check the stories of the lovely ladies here http://goinggraylookinggreat.com/great_grays/

Short cut with curly hair? Check out "Shira's story"

http://goinggraylookinggreat.com/index.php?/great_grays/article/great_grays_shiras_story/

I'm definitely tired of the self analysis and soul searching that I've put myself through in trying to decide. Ultimately, I'm a natural girl and would like to contribute to the cause of changing beauty perceptions. And I'm a rebel. But I'm a vain Leo. I was amazed at how firmly some of my work colleagues felt about the idea of going grey. "Oh, it will definitely age you!"

So, the story is not yet written but I think this is it. My stylist herself has said that she will go grey in 2 years...and keep it funky. To be continued!

For those that seek alternative (less toxic) coloring products look in Ecocolors and Logona.

peace! I agree that it feels absurd to worry about hair color with the troubles in the world as they are. I'm trying to be on a path that is more authentic and truer to ME. We shall see.

[Catrin]

I color my hair a light auburn that I like and isn't too far from the color it used to be long ago. I have very fine hair and when it is mixed with gray - TO ME - my color looks all washed out and I just don't care for it. It really has nothing to do with how others see me - but about how I see myself. If I do put off re-coloring a little longer than I should sometime, it isn't as obvious as it would be if I had selected some other color.

At some point I may stop coloring it again, but not for now, I have had different opinions on this over the years. It costs me an entire $8.00 a month, takes an hour of my time, and I am happy with how I look. To me that is worth it :)

[Selkie]

In the spring, I decided that I had enough with coloring my hair and decided to go natural. My hair is probably about 35% white and almost all of it is on the crown of my head. My hair stylist came up with an idea to use a semi-permanent color in my natural light brown to cover the red so the transition would be easier. Swimming six days a week made this more challenging, but I was able to find a pigment-depositing shampoo/conditioner that kept the red from leaching through. In early August, we agreed that it was no longer necessary to do the semi-permanent color.

I am so glad that I did this. I probably have three to four inches of hair that has no color on it and it is gorgeous (even my hair stylist agrees). Among the good genes that I got from both parents is a gorgeous shade of silver that is pure white and sparkles. I haven't seen my natural color in more than 20 years and I keep thinking, why the hell did I color it so long?

The best thing of all is that I no longer have to spend 90 minutes in a salon every five/six weeks. Cutting my hair takes 20 minutes. In addition, I'm saving more than $120 a visit. :-) From the back, my hair is completely light brown.

I understand why people choose to color their hair. I had fun playing with hair color, highlights, etc.

My decision to let it go natural has a lot to do with embracing getting older, to include the changes it brings in my appearance. It's really a privilege to age, not everyone gets the chance.

[lph]

Way to go Selkie! I've been thinking about reposting to this thread myself recently. My hair is finally getting long enough for me to feel it looks pretty nice again.

It's been a learning experience. I really do want to have my natural hair colour, grey or not. It feels great to not have to tend to an illusion of what I look like. But I was surprised at how upset I was at cutting my hair short! I'm used to going out in public looking pretty darn frumpy, and I really didn't think I cared that much. But the short cut with the bizarre curls growing straight up or making Supermanlike cowlicks in my forehead made me feel downright ugly for a while, or like I was wearing somebody else's wig.

Like you I've been happy at finding out that the colour grey can be pretty, too :) I probably do look older. I am older, so why not. I get why people colour their hair. It does look good. But right now I'm finding out grey looks pretty good too, and has it's own advantages.

[Crankin]

Still haven't changed my mind.
I had my hair cut today; a couple of years go I stopped getting highlights because my hair is so short, they were gone in 2 weeks. I get an all over blonde color, 3-4 times a year. It looks fabulous as it grows out, in fact, it looks like I had expensive highlights done.
So, there are lots of little wisps of gray on one side of my head. They look kind of blonde, but I know they are grey. It's not an issue now, as I will be getting a color next month and they are not noticeable. But, I can just see me with a head of gray. I will look old. I'm still not used to having brown hair, let alone gray. I guess I am the only one who doesn't want to be gray.

[surgtech1956]

I'm all natural too. Gray streaks in my brown hair. I wear my hair short. I thought about coloring a few times, but that was it. I would much rather see someone with gray hair, then some of these 'terribley' bad color jobs.

[azfiddle]

Crankin I think I posted on this thread before, but I can't make the switch to gray. Still teaching middle school and I really don't want to look "old"- and still performing regularly, I'm not really comfortable being on stage and being gray yet.

Also, my hair has been gotten frighteningly thin the last few years- it just makes it all worse. I'm trying Rogaine but am afraid it's not going to work at all...

[shootingstar]

That's great Selkie that your greying hair is a flattering shade for you.

One has to look closely but I do have the odd strand of grey or white here and there. I'm not doing anything about since I have never coloured my hair at all.... that's how virginal my hair is except for perm for 3 yrs. in my early 20's.

I keep on forgetting to look at my hair often enough in the mirror but it has been deliberately cut short for hassle-free hair.


Seriously I attribute keeping my natural hair colour longer due to cycling to help me de-stress because it has been a serious challenge last 12 months of major life changes.

[emily_in_nc]

I know I posted on this thread again but thought I'd chime in since it has now been 1.5 years since I made the decision to stop coloring. I had been coloring since age 25, and when I hit 49, I finally decided "enough" I am sure I'd look younger if I colored, and I've had a couple of younger gals tell me I would be "a cougar" if I colored my hair blonde. But I am married don't care to be a cougar! At 50, I am finally comfortable in my own skin, and hair! You can see what my hair looks like in this recent blog post:

http://bebelize.weebly.com/1/post/2011/10/saga-seafood-cook-off.html

Anyway, I completely understand and respect the decision to color; after all, I did it for nearly half my life. But it's quite liberating to say "enough". :p

[Selkie]

Emily, you look gorgeous! You also look very, very happy.

LPH--there is no way I could have cut my hair short, as I don't have the face for super short hair. It probably didn't look as bad as you thought.

Once my hair is all my natural color, I'm thinking about letting it grow out a bit.

If coloring your grey makes you feel good, do it! I have to admit that I got to resent all the time I spent in the salon (the money, eh, not a big deal, but admittedly, with a pay freeze this year or at least next (probably longer), it's nice to save all that cash).

There is a lot of ageism in the workplace, so it makes sense for some folks to color their hair for "professional" reasons.

[lph]

Emily, you look stunning. And you look younger than your hair, if that makes sense. Your face is so young that your hair doesn't age you, you just look very cool.

Yes, there is ageism in the workplace, but I've also found out it goes both ways. By some older guys I used to get treated like "just a girl" (cute and funny, but inexperienced and not particularly important) before. This may be just my perception of myself, but I've found it easier to be taken seriously with "older" hair. I think it doesn't only signify actual age and experience, but also I'm signifying that I'm less interested in looking attractive in a young way.

[Crankin]

Yes, a lot of my reasons for not going gray are professional, although in my new field, "elders" are actually respected and age did not make it hard for me to find a job, although my resume is nicely doctored, etc. But, my own self image is a good deal of it. I've always enjoyed looking "younger" than my age, and given the fact I am in good physical shape, I think a lot of my self image is wrapped up in this. My skin is not as perfect as it could be (like Emily!), and I have deep laugh lines, so I think adding gray to that would certainly ramp up the "old" factor. I guess I am lucky that I have found a coloring solution that I only need to do a few times a year. Keeping my hair short requires a cut every month, and while it's a pain, it certainly outweighs the factor of having my hair hassle free, in terms of not having to use styling implements, and time in the AM, let alone the ease of making it look good when I take my helmet or ski hat off.
I like to say my water bottle is my favorite styling implement!
AZfiddle, I do think that being around middle school kids, teens, etc. makes you more aware of how "old" you look. I've been around kids/teens all of my life and it has kept me young in many ways.

[malkin]

... short cut with the bizarre curls growing straight up or making Supermanlike cowlicks in my forehead ...

This describes my hair!

[new2ride]

I was a toe head as a baby. Totally blond into my 20s, then it seems to get a little darker. I've had a little grey hair since my teens but no one knew expect me. It blended with the blond and looked like highlights. My hair was always long until I reached my late 20s. I decided to cut it very short (think Bidgitte Nielson), my hair was shorter.

Now I'm 50+ and hair is still short but I would estimate 75% of my hair is white, no more grey. It doesn't bother me in the least. Most women and some men assume it's colored and inquire where I have my hair done. I was on a cruise a couple weeks ago and was snorkeling in Jamaica. A lady on the catamaran had finished snorkeling and was rubbing something all over her hair (she was much older than me & her hair was dyed that yellowy blond color). She tossed the tube at me and said feel free to use it because it would help to preserve my color. I just started laughing and said thanks but I didn't need it. She asked me if I colored my hair and I told her I didn't. She couldn't believe it and my DH confimed it. ;)

I feel good the way I am, but I truly understand why women and men dye their hair. My hair grows very quickly, I get it cut every 3 1/2 to 4 weeks. If I dyed it, I would have to color it every time I had it cut. Too expensive of a habit for me :D

[GLC1968]

Funny that this post should come up again now. I just had my first ever curl-specific hair cut yesterday (Ouidad). It was freakishly expensive, but I think I may have found my answer. We'll know when I style it myself because of course, I looked fabulous walking out of the salon (I say 'of course' but really, it's not of course at all. I've NEVER looked fabulous coming out of a salon when my hair was styled curly - only straight. This is the first time ever I've liked it curly when someone else styled it).

Anyway, my point is that if I have now truly found a cut/stylist and style that I like curly and natural...then I might be ready to consider going grey again. I'm also getting thinner and feeling MUCH better about myself than the last time, so I might give it a shot and totally rock the grey this time around. I know my grey color is beautiful, it would be nice to have it back AND feel good about myself at the same time.

Decisions, decisions...

[limewave]

Funny that this post should come up again now. I just had my first ever curl-specific hair cut yesterday (Ouidad). It was freakishly expensive, but I think I may have found my answer. We'll know when I style it myself because of course, I looked fabulous walking out of the salon (I say 'of course' but really, it's not of course at all. I've NEVER looked fabulous coming out of a salon when my hair was styled curly - only straight. This is the first time ever I've liked it curly when someone else styled it).

Anyway, my point is that if I have now truly found a cut/stylist and style that I like curly and natural...then I might be ready to consider going grey again. I'm also getting thinner and feeling MUCH better about myself than the last time, so I might give it a shot and totally rock the grey this time around. I know my grey color is beautiful, it would be nice to have it back AND feel good about myself at the same time.

Decisions, decisions...

It is SO Hard to find a good Curly hair stylist! Do you go to naturallycurly.com ever? I have an acquaintance that introduced me to that site and I have learned so much. My hair looks a thousand times better. I've started going to her hair stylist who she actually trained to give her curly haircuts. My hair is what I consider my one vanity. I don't buy shoes, handbags, makeup, etc . . . but I will spend money on my hair :rolleyes:

[Dogmama]

Well, I'm still coloring and deciding. I know I need to decide pretty quick if I don't want to have that gawd-awful grey skunk-root-thing ... know what I mean? The grey is coming in as silver & very shiny, so it's nice but also extremely noticeable against dark brown hair. My grandmother was silver & my mother never admitted to coloring her hair (!).
_______________________

It really points to a life change, as some ladies have said. At some point, we have to embrace our age & make it OK to have grey hair & lines on our faces. Unfortunately, women don't "get" to age like George Clooney in our society. Can you imagine him with dark hair & a face lift? :p

[GLC1968]

Limewave - I have been to naturallycurly.com. Fun site! I originally bought the book 'Curly Girl' and that got me started on treating my curls right and since then, I've slowly expanded my knowledge. This stylist was the first one I've been to since high school who treated my curls with the gentle hand they need....and it shows! I go back and forth on how much I'll spend on my hair these days but the bottom line is that I want something attractive and EASY (read: quick), and I'm willing to pay to get it. ;)

Dogmama - I have that grey root skunk thing every 3 weeks. I hate that my hair grows so fast, sometimes. I've been using a lighter and lighter brown dye each time, so it's not as obvious as when I was using my natural dark brown, but it's still definitely there. Luckily, my new curly style has some height to it, so it covers it up a little as I decide what's next!

[emily_in_nc]

Thank you for all the kind compliments, folks! I do appreciate it. Pictures can lie, a bit, though. Up close, I have plenty of age spots and lines, and the thing I hate the most is the sagging skin. For 50 I know I look okay, but I sure miss the way my skin looked at 30!

[Dannielle]

I, too, find it interesting that this thread popped up now. Timely. I decided yesterday that I'm going to let these 3 silvery-gray streaks live on my head...one on each temple and one in the middle of the top/front. My hair is in a bob (no bangs) and parts on the side so the streaks aren't giving me skunk-roots in a noticeable way yet but they totally would if my hair parted in a different spot.

I'm actually considering having the semi-permanent color (dark brown) that is fairly permanently stuck removed professionally (to whatever degree it can be removed). It would be nice to "liberate" the streaks rather than having to wait for them to grown out.

I haven't minded the effort required for semi-permanent color every 8 weeks or so but the streaks are becoming more prominent and the regrowth line is becoming more defined. I'm not willing to be high maintenance lol (which is probably odd coming from a former hairdresser!).