How do you do it all?

[DebbieDowner]

The weekends are too short how do you get it all in. By the time you ride, run, play golf, play with the pets and then try to get your domestic duties in the weekend is more then over? AND I do not have kids, I cannot guess how I would fit kids in.

How do you ladies do it all?

:rolleyes:

[katluvr]

I don't do it all. I am always behind. House is a mess at times. I am tried.
And I don't have kids either!

[tulip]

I don't have a TV, and I have found that I have so much more free time to do other things, like hobbies, house and garden projects, cooking, and even relaxing.

I spread all those you listed (not golf, though!) throughout the week so there's not a mountain of stuff to do on the weekends. For instance, I do laundry on Mondays and Thursdays so it doesn't take up a whole day. I take longer rides on the weekends, and shorter ones during the week. I have a small house that is easy to keep clean, so that helps. I'm also not a terribly social person so I don't spend alot of time socializing.

But I've learned that life is too short to be a perfectionist. Do what's important and let the rest go. To me, TV is not important. I don't miss it, and the time I've gained is filled with meaningful activities--like learning a language, cooking, enjoying my house, reading, and folding origami cranes!

[DebbieDowner]

Tulip "But I've learned that life is too short to be a perfectionist. Do what's important and let the rest go."

This is the biggest lesson to learn, but being 40 something it is hard to change your ways.....

[Grog]

I don't do it all, easy!

I've picked a few things. I cycle much less these days because I'm taking some Mandarin lessons Saturday afternoons. But I still run, and I commute to work on my bike every time I can.

Can't do it all, no.

I can only imagine how kids will impact our life. (None yet, but it will most likely happen in a not-that-distant future.)

[channlluv]

I've convinced my 11-year-old daughter that training for a triathlon with me is quality time.

The dishes can wait until dark when we can't ride safely.

Roxy

[annielynn]

I don't. :(

I have two small kids and lately what has been suffereing is my riding. I am very sad by this. This has been an issue that I have been dealing with over the last few weeks. It makes me grumpy.

[tulip]

Tulip "But I've learned that life is too short to be a perfectionist. Do what's important and let the rest go."

This is the biggest lesson to learn, but being 40 something it is hard to change your ways.....

I am 40-something. It's been very worth it to change my ways, and I really do live a fuller life now.

[indysteel]

I've found it much harder to fit everything in since I moved into a new home with my BF. There's just been a lot to do, and I now have a much longer commute to work (and most other things, too). Add in some sick pets, some minor health issues, the holidays, and some not-so-cooperative weather, and I've had a hard time establishing my routine. I'm trying to have some patience with myself though.

Prior to these recent developments, I tended to let a few things slack just a bit, e.g., my house was tidy but not spotless. I paid someone to tend to my small yard. She needed the money, I needed the time. I cooked food that could serve as leftovers. I learned to prioritize what I most wanted to do and then did that stuff in whatever time I had to do it. My BF refers to me as the Tasmanian Devil when I'm straightening up my house or running errands. It all boils down to time management, so I don't dilly dally over much. I get up early in the morning most mornings, which is key in my world. I'm struggling right now with the fact that BF does, and while I get up and putter around the house while he's still sleeping, I haven't taken it farther than that, although I intend to.

I, too, don't have kids and really marvel at how much my friends with kids do on the average day.

[shootingstar]

I don't do it all, easy!

I've picked a few things. I cycle much less these days because I'm taking some Mandarin lessons Saturday afternoons. But I still run, and I commute to work on my bike every time I can.

Can't do it all, no.

I can only imagine how kids will impact our life. (None yet, but it will most likely happen in a not-that-distant future.)

Every adult Canadian-born Chinese, whom I've known and who has tried to learn to speak Mandarin later in life, read and write basic Chinese, truly struggled. And these are folks like me, equipped with an eroded Cantonese /Cantonese dialect.

Enjoy it now....:) The English language (written & spoken) can look abit dull, not as poetic in word derivation, once one starts venturing into other linguistic worlds. (I hope no one attacks me here: I did take 3 years of Latin in high school.)

I am cycling more but even now I limit my time on the bike daily. Life isn't just all about cycling.
Bike-commuting even a few times to work really helped over the years. I figured my health was greater priority over a perfectly neat home.

Still our home isn't neat as it used to be a few years ago.

[OakLeaf]

The English language (written & spoken) can look abit dull, not as poetic in word derivation, once one starts venturing into other linguistic worlds. (I hope no one attacks me here: I did take 3 years of Latin in high school.)

Not an attack... ;) but the contributions of Latin to English are late and mostly indirect. To understand the poetic origins of modern English, you need to study Anglo-Saxon. IMVHO, it's mostly the Norman conquest and the consequent bastardization of English with Latinate forms that ruined the language. ;) [Another reason to dislike the French. :D JOKE! JOKE!]


Anyway, back on topic... I don't do it all, either, and I have way less to do than most people. :( It's a struggle a lot of the time, but I do what I need to to get through the day.

[7rider]

How do you ladies do it all?

:rolleyes:

I don't try.

[MomOnBike]

I'm not convinced that "doing it all" is possible. There are only so many hours in a day - and some of them will be spent sleeping.

It is possible here to get a skewed perception of how much people do, however. Person A talks about cooking, Person B talks about raising kids, Person C talks about her garden, Person D talks about bike advocacy, and so on through the alphabet. Everyone talks about riding and bikes.

No one person does everything, but it is all too easy to see all these posts and think that everyone does all of it. Actually, everyone picks, chooses and talks about the activities that appeal, and keeps quiet about the others - or applauds someone else's successes.

[ny biker]

I don't try.

What she said.

And I don't lose sleep over it.

[maillotpois]

By the time you ride, run, play golf, ...
How do you ladies do it all?

:rolleyes:

I sure as heck don't spend time playing golf.... :D

[ACG]

There is no such thing as 'do it all'.

There is what you have to do to function, shopping for important things like toilet paper, and there is what you want to do, like bike riding.

Pick and choose the things you can do.

DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP for the things you can't do.

Don't forget to take care of yourself! RIDE

I work full time; raised/raising kids now 26, 19 and 7. Went to school at night, still never finished. Owned my own home, didn't always mow the lawn. Divorced (he never did any housework or yard work or even took cars to be repaird) and now live with boyfriend (who does housework and yard work and takes cars to be repaired). Starting cycling 8 years ago.

This is life, enjoy!

[SheFly]

Da Da Dum - Super Woman :D :D :D :D

[Crankin]

I decided a long time ago that unless I was happy, no one would be happy. Having a supportive partner and kids helped...
People used to think I was super woman, but really, I did things that others wouldn't have, especially when my kids were young. I got up at 4:30 AM to exercise, so it didn't interfere with other stuff. I taught my kids to help with housework at an early age and that worked until I could afford a house cleaner. But most of all, I didn't expect that I would do everything in the house; my DH has always done more than his share and i think that eliminated a lot of the stress.
Lately, I have rid myself of negative people. That included some family, but really, I am happier without them. If certain activities or people are a drain on your time, then I would look carefully at ow much you need to continue with them. I would rather be riding than spending time with my negative friend or aunt. It sounds a little cruel, but you have to decide what is best for you, once the basic needs are met. It's liberating...

[badger]

I truly wish I could get rid of my t.v., but I use it to unwind. I've been busier than a one finger typist this fall, and even my relaxing has taken a back seat. Sometime it just feels SO good to plop on a couch and tune into a fluffy show like Ghost Whisperer. And a glass of wine with that and I consider that heaven for an hour.

This may sound contradictory in light of what I just said, but what I find the hardest thing to do, however, is to actually relax. I have a hard time just doing "nothing" (reading, watching a movie), I'm always on the go-go-go. If I have a few hours in the day, the last thing I'll be doing is relaxing, so instead I'll be cleaning, running errands, etc. I wish I could relax more. This is actually why I love Christmas day, nothing's open, and you're forced to basically relax (thankfully I don't have to cook!)

[ACG]

Here! here! Rid yourself of negative people! They take up too much time!

[Brandy]

I don't even try.

I'm divorced so the kids are with their dad half of the time. I work full time. I have furry friends who require my time too. Oh, and that boyfriend person too. ;)

When my kids are with me, I don't ride unless it's a trainer ride in the morning before they get up. Since they only get their mama half of the week, they get my full attention.

I concentrate my riding on the days I don't have them. That means getting up before 5:00 a.m. to get a ride in before work, get home in time to run the dog (30 minutes), feed the kitties and bunnies, do some dishes, shower, and get ready for work. Thankfully I only have a 15-20 minute drive.

[Trekhawk]

I sure as heck don't spend time playing golf.... :D

Snort!:D

[solobiker]

I used to try to hard to " do it all" including having a clean house. It got to be too much. Here is a poem I read many years ago that put perspective on life for me. After I read it I realized...for me I need to live my life and not worry about the little things.

http://www.friendsacrossamerica.com/dust.html

[Bike Chick]

I LOVE THAT POEM! I'd never read it before but it's my anthem.

I don't do it all.......the house is messy and always will be. It's not a priority. We women dump so much self-imposed guilt on ourselves for not having all the laundry done, the house clean and dishes done..........I changed my priorities years ago when I was trying to do it all and making myself nuts trying to do it. Housework and laundry are last on my list.

I always thought that if I'd died tomorrow, my kids wouldn't remember me for being a good housekeeper but they would remember that we went to the park, sat and read a book or just layed in the yard and looked at the clouds. Life's too short.

[KnottedYet]

I don't do it all.
I can't do it all.

My kid complains about the house being a mess, I hand him the vacuum.

(I agree with Tulip, we don't have a TV either and it's just wonderful!)

[Crankin]

You know, it's a question of doing what is important to YOU and not caring what others think. I know that I can't tolerate clutter and dirt; so we make a point of not keeping stuff we really don't need and having good storage for the stuff we want. When my kids were at home, I shut the door to their rooms when they were teens. The rule was that all the crap had to picked up off of the floor the night before the cleaning people came... it was hard for me to shut the door, but I did it instead of constantly fighting with them. I hated spending weekend time on chores, so we made a schedule and got stuff like laundry done very early in the AM before work, or in the late afternoon, when I came home. My kids started doing their own laundry when they turned 13. Sure, they had some pink underwear, but at least I didn't have to do it! While my DH and I cooked, the kids always did the dishes/loaded the dishwasher.
I absolutely hate working in the yard and gardening. Not sure why, but DH enjoys it, thankfully. He sees it as a form of exercise. In the last few years, I have helped a little and I sort of understand the "zen" of it now.
My DH is even more anal than me about how things are kept (I tend to be a secret slob inside my hidden dresser drawers, etc. His are organized in military fashion). We have a continuing family joke about the consequences of loading the dishwasher "the wrong way."
I guess this is what happens when both partners have Jewish mothers!

[katluvr]

I think all the responses are great. And some days I would be answering the same...but other days/weeks (like right now) I do struggle to "do it all". Or at least all that I want or expect out of me!

So no matter how good you are at letting things go...like dishes sitting over night (I definitely do that)...there are still times that if feels like (this is me talking): How do I work full time, do all my runs, hair appt., oh yeah really need a massage, overdue at the dentist--OMG my drivers license exprires and we are going to Disney for my birthday!!! I am tired just thinking. So I think part of my problem is I try and WANT to do all those things.

Again, good advise and support here, but in reality I think many of us bounce between "it is ok to let things go" and the "OMG how can I do it all". At least IMO that is how it is.

[DebbieDowner]

Thank you to all who have contributed, it is nice to know we have all struggled with this at some point or at least thought about it.

And I know I need to let stuff go. I hope with the new year i will start a new trend in my house.

[NbyNW]

Taking good quality breaks from whatever you're trying to get done is essential. I'm often tempted to just keep working, to try to just get a few more things done, but then if I don't take that break -- particularly the one where I stop and have a nutritious lunch -- then I can't focus, I can't be productive, I can't juggle multiple things, and I really, really won't enjoy taking the dog for his mid-day walk.

Breathe. Eat. Stretch.

I don't think of it as "letting things go," I think of it as, "I'll get to it when I get to it, or when it's so bad I can't stand it anymore."

We can try to prioritize, but we don't always have control over our priorities or our time. You just do what you can, and take good care of yourself!