"It's so unfair...!" Being polite

[lph]

So my sweet, clueless co-worker, who smokes, never exercises and drives her car everywhere, and thinks it looks "terribly dangerous" for me to ride my bike to work, looked at me today and said, as a compliment: "Wow, you must have a really high metabolism!" She's my age, unfit but just slightly pudgy.

I try to downplay how much I ride when talking to people who don't exercise at all, partly because I don't enjoy being viewed as a freak :rolleyes: and partly because you don't need to ride that much to get benefits from regular exercise. I just really like to ride my bike :o. So I answered: "yeah, well, I bike a lot you know. But part of it is hereditary I think".

"Ohhh, riight. *sigh* Gee, it's so unfair!" she replies, and goes back to her work.

Uh.... yeah. Guess I should have worked in the part about spending 2 hours a day on my bike anyway. :D

[blackhillsbiker]

Our pressman gives me a hard time every day when he walks through my office and sees my bike. Yet he's always complaining about his compulsory diet and cholesterol meds. I like to bike because of the way it makes me feel, not just more healthy, but happier as well. He sees it as a hardship I need to endure. I see it as my favorite part of the day. I guess it's all a matter of perspective.

Deb

[Tri Girl]

Yeah, it's so unfair...:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

All that time on your bike giving you a great metabolism and a nice, fit body is so unfair.
You're nicer than me- I might have said something back at that. :)

[Trekhawk]

lph you are very polite. I would have found it difficult not to say a few more things. LOL - I think you better add patience with others to your list of inherited traits.:)

[azfiddle]

I have enjoyed rediscovering cycling so much, feel so much better, and have lost weight since I started riding this summer, that it's hard not to talk about it... but I know that my "regular" friends have only the most cursory interest so I try (not always successfully) to downplay it. That's why this forum is such a great resource (not to mention the useful advice and friendly people :)

[shootingstar]

There have been some people who have said precisely that under similar circumstances. Depends on person how I respond.

Often I do say that 'I just love to bike'..sometimes they know that already or not. It's just a neutral comment for me to make.

'And we don't have a car'. It is a freakin' reality how I must travel regardless of my weight (or how they might feel about themselves). Often this latter statement grabs them and sometimes the conversation drifts off on lifestyles and how-can-we-survive without-a-car. Guess that cements the 'freakishness'. :) But better to talk about this than about weight with other folks who want to lose weight.

But if it's someone I work with daily and they know me even more than "hello" and if it's a woman in my age group, I will tend to mention: "No, my metabolism has slowed down. I have to exercise 3x times more to look the same as I did several years ago. (Actually it's decades ago, but I don't say that.)

[channlluv]

Well, maybe I've already crossed that threshold, but I do bike a lot, and swim, and eat pretty well most of the time, and I'm still big, and I'm on blood pressure medication and meds for pre-diabetes. I may have missed the health benefits window, starting so late, but I'm having fun, and on my bike is the only way I can keep up with my much fitter friends and my husband, who wants to enter competitive cycling next spring.

Lph, you've demonstrated over and over what a decent person you are. Your co-worker maybe needs a bit of a nudge to understand the work you put in to look the way you do, but her opinion and need for an easy solution to her self-esteem issues is irrelevent to your ongoing performance. But you know that. Maybe invite her for a weekend ride.

Roxy

[lph]

aww, thanks channlluv! :)

I know it's not as simple as "exercise fixes everything", and a lot of good health IS sheer luck of the genetics draw, but I'm still a little flabbergasted by people who steadfastly refuse to believe they can do anything AT ALL about their own situation. It's not like I'm some kind of insane superwoman - at the moment I have 47 people signed up for our winter bike commuting challenge, who have commuted by bike regularly throughout a wet and dark November. And for the most part love it!

To each their own when it comes to priorities, but her placid acceptance of how life "just is" and things "just happen" does bug me sometimes...

[channlluv]

Maybe she needs to read your tagline. Post it above your desk. Or that Marianne Williamson quote about how people are often afraid to live our very best life, but who are we not to be beautiful, talented, fabulous, being children of God? That's a great quote. Nelson Mandela used it in his Nobel acceptance speech.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Found here: http://skdesigns.com/internet/articles/quotes/williamson/our_deepest_fear/

Roxy

[lph]

"You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. ”


Oh, that is beautiful. Thank you!

[OakLeaf]

Oh, that is beautiful. Thank you!

+1 - thank you for that, channlluv!

Now I have to figure out some place to put that quote where I'll see it every day.

[Tri Girl]

+1 more

Thank you, channlluv- that made me smile and feel really great inside. :)
You're wonderful!!!