bare biker butts

[bikerchick68]

OK... I gotta ask... why, oh why, don't people replace their threadbare shorts? I mean, you're on a $$$ bike riding in shorts that shoulda been replaced 400 miles ago! Don't get me wrong... I like bare biker butts... but I wanna see ALL of it or let me just dream... :D

there is something just... wrong about glimpsing patches thru the worn spots... :eek:

[SadieKate]

Must be the same reason why someone decided we needed white lycra shorts. :eek: Actually make that double :eek: :eek:

[runnergirl]

yeah, one of the guys on last night's ride was wearing a very worn out skinsuit...I'm sort of getting used to it. He's the fastest rider in that group, so I sit on his wheel a lot...but I concentrate on the tire. :D

[aka_kim]

I think no one tells them the shorts are threadbare, since it's not something noticeable until the shorts are on and the rider is leaning forward. I was riding with my roommate a few weeks ago, sitting on his wheel, and when the sun hit his back I could see everything. He threw the shorts away right after the ride.

Now I'm worried my shorts are threadbare and no one's bothered to tell me... :eek:

So how do you tell someone their butt is showing if you don't know them well?

[spazzdog]

Comment on the clarity of their tattoo :eek:

[Trek420]

aka_kim "Now I'm worried my shorts are threadbare and no one's bothered to tell me... :eek:"

as someone who will never be fast enough to ride in front of you, your shorts are fine, kim.

Bikerz was commenting, I call out bumps and signal turns....even though there's no one behind me .... ever.

"So how do you tell someone their butt is showing if you don't know them well?"

I like spazz's tattoo idea. Or work it into pre-ride routine; check brakes, inflate tires, would someone check my shorts?

[Technotart]

Heh - KSH and I were on an organized ride not too long ago and we were riding behind an older gentleman who was wearing a pair of cotton boxer/briefs - not bike shorts - the elastic around the top said Jockey - I kid you not!!!!

You have not seen threadbare until you have seen threadbare UNDERWEAR worn as bike shorts!!! You could see RIGHT through those suckers...I have to wonder if it wasn't on purpose since he had his t-shirt tucked IN!!!!!

We had to pass the guy or we woulda been laughing so hard we wouldnt have been able to ride!!!!

[CorsairMac]

since I don't have anyone to tell me - I stretch the shorts over my fist before I wear them to make sure they aren't sheer L'eggs comfort hose (in black) disguised as shorts! :p

[SadieKate]

So how do you tell some guy in his baggy mtbike shorts that they're not meant to lift and separate? At least on the road you can pass the guy before you starting snickering. On singletrack you get kind of stuck back there (no pun intended). :rolleyes:

[Lynne]

First off, I thought this would be a juicy thread with pictures of lovely manly biker butts. Hmph...I'm just a little disgruntled :D

Now then, trust me, this is not limited to biking. Used to see this in the gym all the time. I had this problem myself a time or two, as well. I'd bend over in front of the mirror, but indoor lighting doesn't always work.

Heck, I say just tell them, whether you know them well or not (ok, not the guy you are biking past...at least someone you are biking WITH...and the guy with the underwear...that's just ew....ick....gross.....). Be like, "so, hey...have you checked out the new Pearl Izumi shorts? I'm thinking you haven't looked in a while as it looks like you might need a new pair....say....right NOW."

[skibum]

So funny that this topic came up. On a couple of recent group rides, there's been a guy wearing the same pair of threadbare shorts. It didn't help that it was an old team kit that had a gray panel strategically positioned. I was behind him on one of the rides and I got quite a view, even more so once he started sweating and gray became somewhat see-through anyways. I didn't know him and didn't know how to tell a total stranger that he really needed a new pair of shorts. I asked one of the other guys after the ride. He told me to be blunt -- hey, dude, get some new shorts, we really don't want to watch your butt-crack the whole ride. I didn't get a chance to say it, not sure I would have the guts to be that blunt. I did notice that he had a different pair of shorts on a couple of days ago so he either hasn't done laundry or someone else broke the news to him.

[mtbdarby]

LMAO! Too funny. Thank God I haven't noticed this yet in any other riders. But if you look at my avatar, you'll see why I REALLY like red shorts, lol. Of course, it's the front view I was interested in :)

[bikerchick68]

LOL skibum... maybe just say something like "Do you KNOW you're giving me the brown eye???" :eek: :D

UGH... OK I just grossed MYSELF out... :rolleyes: :p

[CorsairMac]

ROFLMAO so I just had to share my story after this:

My ex-racer buddy had a pair of shorts that were long past decent and wore them on a fun ride once where I just razzed him no end about his shorts being so sheer!

so the Next fun ride with him in a pair of more "dense" shorts as I was laboring up this very steep hill-----here he comes coasting by me with his shorts pulled down around his knees! I thought I was gonna wreck the bike! when I asked him what the heck he was doing he told me that was in case I missed those old sheer shorts!!

[singletrackmind]

I didn't realize I was a bit thread-bare back there until dudes started thanking me. :eek:
Well, all they got to see was the bit of butt-crack above my chamois but still.....

I'll be a bit more careful about it from now on. I don't really care about other people's cracks though. There was this one dude I used to mountain bike with and then we'd lay around for a half hour or so after enjoying the day. I happened to pick the right? wrong? angle and noticed he had a huge display window going on around the chamois right over his horn section! Wow! How did he not know about that? Did he not know about that??

I'd tell a chick stranger about threadbaredness if I happened to notice but I don't know if I'd be able to tell a dude. I never did get around to telling that last guy.....

[bikerchick68]

corsair... that is HYSTERICAL! what a great sense of humor... and good balance too! :D

Lynne... aaack! next time I'll get pics I promise... ;)

[latelatebloomer]

After a long hard day, you all have me laughing so hard I snorted my coffee :p
I guess the abbrieviation is LSHISMC ?

thanks, I needed that :D

[Jaz]

This thread got me thinking, "can people see my butt crack?" I just put my shorts in the washer, and before i did, I held them up to the light. Is there a difference between being threadbare and being able to see thro them a little bit? or is it just one and the same? Maybe that's why I've been "improving" on the group rides, I thought I was getting faster, but I must be passing the guys just cuz they're dropping back to check my shorts. Hahaha. :p

[nuthatch]

And I was just getting confident about wearing my lycra! Now comes the part where I stand on a chair in front of the bathroom mirror, bending over with a flashlight trained on my behind! Does this mean we should always go for the 8.5 oz. lycra??

[RoadRaven]

ROTFLMAO!!!!!


This thread is too funny, have all these images of you in front of mirrors or with hand helds, standing on chairs, using torches, peering at shorts before washing or trying them on...

I bet we could write an entertaining article on the perils of bike shorts

I'm just thankful I live with other bikers and when shorts begin to look a tad thin, we let each other know...

I think I would fall off the chair, drop the torch on my toes... give my self whiplash from contortions in front of the mirror...

This thread demonstrates there are perils to cycling that have not been fully explained...

[spazzdog]

Too, too funny!

Kind of reminiscent of the 80's and the teeny tiny running shorts that were the vogue for fellas.

My best friend decided he'd start running with me. It's summer, it's Houston TX, it's very hot. We go to the park, he throws his shirt in the car and is wearing those little onionskin splits. He was very athletic looking... long and lean. Looked like a runner, but never exercised a day in his life.

His, uhm, endowment (read "hugemongus") was tucked somehow into his shorts. We're running along and I notice people coming the other direction keep double taking on Rick and getting either wide-eyed or blushing mightily.
After a couple of miles I finally follow their eye path and... my buddie's best pal has re-adjusted itself and a good 3" are peeking over the waistband, shoutin out a big hello to passers-by.

I started cracking up but managed a "The horse is leaving the barn"... he looked down, shreaked, slam-dunked into his shorts and we finished the last mile or so with Rick the color of an apple and his right hand pasted to his waistband.

I was laughing so hard I couldn't see straight.

spazz

[Pax]

Spazz, that was snort beer out my nose funny!! I can just picture those itty bitty shorts failing to do a proper job. :D

[latelatebloomer]

Now comes the part where I stand on a chair in front of the bathroom mirror, bending over with a flashlight trained on my behind!

Doesn't "Our Bodies, Our Selves" have a chapter on this? :p

[spazzdog]

Queen; to be perfectly frank (no pun intended) there was no running short on the market that could've "done the job".

Latelatebloomer; I remember that chapter :D The book was the "required" text at the first womens studies course offered at Univ of N. Mex. in Albuquerque... and yes, I was in that class (ah, the 70's).

[nicolezoie]

Maybe that's why I've been "improving" on the group rides, I thought I was getting faster, but I must be passing the guys just cuz they're dropping back to check my shorts. Hahaha. :p

oh dear.. me too!!!! *giggling madly*

GREAT thread.. I've seen thin shorts plenty of times, but decided I'd rather enjoy the view rather than embarass the rider... ;)

Just imagine... passing someone and saying... "On Your LEFT, and hey, you might want to check your shorts..!"

[CorsairMac]

Just imagine... passing someone and saying... "On Your LEFT, and hey, you might want to check your shorts..!"


or "On Your LEFT - Cheek!" :p

This thread is just as hilarious as the one about knees to boobs in the drops. Thank all of you so much for making me laugh until I was crying!


Nuttie: I was ROFL imagining someone walking on you while you were "checking your shorts".....thanks for that visual!

[BikingAt50]

ROFLMAO !!!!

This thread is so funny !

Last week, I told my husband that I thought I could see through his shorts. Now I realize what was happening. I guess I was seeing through them! I need to tell him..LOL!

To all of you bending over in front of the mirrors. Becareful!

[bikerchick68]

spazz... OMG! the story about your buddie is too, too funny... poor guy! :D

nuthatch... LOL... be careful on that chair... roadraven is right... there are all sorts of perils to overcome... cars? BAH! It's the checking of shorts that creates a real problem! :eek: :D

[pkq]

This thread is hilarious! A girlfriend of mine calls it "shiney butt" and told me to tell her, if I ever see it on her.

[Pax]

I forgot to mention this earlier in this thread but just an FYI, lycra swimsuits do the same thing and have the added voyeuristic fun of water making the problem worse! Check your suits Ladies! :D