Bad things to healthy old people

[shootingstar]

It has been confirmed earlier this week, that my father has prostrate cancer. Biopsy confirms a 9 rating, which is pretty bad and aggressive. (Scale is 1-10). This in inoperable cancer..given his age. (80)

We're awaiting more tests to be done..soon.

Other than that, he up to now for everyone, appeared very healthy. No respiratory nor heart problems. A few days ago, he took the subway from hospital which is in congested downtown traffic to home from the lst set of tests. It's a 15 min. walk to home. (He has been reducing his driving for past 10 yrs. His choice.)

Am going cycling now. Probably rain again.

[papaver]

i'm sorry to hear this. Must be hard. All I can say is : sterkte.

I don't have an english translation for this.

[Aquila]

My thoughts are with you, Shootingstar. These things are hard. I hope the medical folks can take good care of him.

[NbyNW]

So sorry to hear about your father.

But as you said, he has otherwise been healthy up to now -- hopefully that means fewer chances of complications with whatever course of treatment his doctors recommend.

Will keep you and your family in our prayers.

[OakLeaf]

((((((((Shootingstar))))))))

Keeping you and your father in my thoughts and prayers.

[lph]

So sorry, shooting star!

[Owlie]

((shootingstar))
You and your family will be in my thoughts.

[Tri Girl]

oh shootingstar... I'm so very sorry.
Hugs to you and your family. :(

[solobiker]

I am so sorry to hear this. Positive energy heading you and your family's way.

[shootingstar]

But as you said, he has otherwise been healthy up to now -- hopefully that means fewer chances of complications with whatever course of treatment his doctors recommend.

I agree.
He is and generally always has been at right weight. Healthy diet, as you can imagine that has not succumbed to sugar, fat, etc.

Thx for kind thoughts so far.
Strange times. The bearer of the news by the way, is a sister-doctor. She herself is 5+ months pregnant. Yes, she's probably worried about H1N1, regardless of whatever vaccination on top of all this and being info. conduit to rest of family.

It's really complicated..father, is also de facto family mediator-language interpreter for mother who speaks primarily only Chinese. (Assimilation to English language is terribly high price, more than unilingual speakers can even imagine.)

Things can get pretty complicated suddenly. So different from 2 months ago when I last visited everyone...happy and seemingly healthy.

[tctrek]

(((shootingstar))) I am so sorry and hope that you can find peace and comfort in the circle of your family. It sounds like you have a close family and they will pull together and help him and your mother through this.

[newfsmith]

This is a scary time for your family. Our family has been there, my husband was diagnosed and had surgery 3 years ago. I'm sure your sister has explained that surgery is not the only option, or necessarily the best option for everyone. If you have any questions that aren't too technical feel free to PM me. In the mean time, please know that we all are thinking of you and your family.

[crazycanuck]

Shootingstar, i'm sorry to hear your father's not well.

Just a note..A few gents on one of the floors at work have been diagnosed & a a few others have friends or family members with prostate cancer. I'm glad i'm donating to Movember as it's frightening how many men out there are being diagnosed.

[redrhodie]

(((shootingstar))) That's sad news. I wish your father well.

[tulip]

((((shootingstar)))))

[Selkie]

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. Sending you and your family prayers and well wishes. Try to keep those positive thoughts around you. Kisses to you from my golden retrievers.

[Duck on Wheels]

((((Shootingstar and family))))

[channlluv]

I'm right there with you, Shooting Star. My father is at the end stage of prostate cancer. His wife called us kids yesterday and told us to come see him now because he doesn't have long, maybe a week or two. I was just there week before last, but I'll be heading back on Thursday.

There's a lot that can be done to make your dad more comfortable. Look into hospice. They've been a godsend for my father and his wife. Truly.

Much love to you and our family,

Roxy

[shootingstar]

I'm right there with you, Shooting Star. My father is at the end stage of prostate cancer. His wife called us kids yesterday and told us to come see him now because he doesn't have long, maybe a week or two. I was just there week before last, but I'll be heading back on Thursday.

There's a lot that can be done to make your dad more comfortable. Look into hospice. They've been a godsend for my father and his wife. Truly.

Much love to you and our family,

Roxy

:( I'm truly sorry to hear this channelluv. Your visit again will be precious and much needed.


At this time, my father still "appears" to be healthy and functioning as normal. But next testing is a CAT scan and it must be done within next 2 wks.

At this time, all we can think of is he certainly won't be living for many years as expected.

What is quite deceiving on the surface for now, is that he genuinely appears to be healthy guy otherwise, if it weren't for the cancer. He doesn't engage in vigorous exercise or anything like that. He doesn't smoke, drink and actually has low blood pressure.

Sigh. I live 4,300+ kms. west of all my family.

[sundial]

Oh Shootingstar, I'm so sorry to hear about the news of your father. :( You know, for many patients attitude plays a big role in the challenges and recovery of cancer. For patients it's important to never lose hope. Ask for comfort measures when it becomes challenging. Surround yourself with positive, upbeat people who will work together as Team Shootingstar. Take turns tending to the needs of family and the patient. And of course a nice, gentle ride will help clear the mind and lift the spirit.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[Bike Chick]

(Shootingstar) I'm so sorry to hear about your father. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May God's peace be with you.

[VeloVT]

I am sorry to hear this. I send my best wishes to you, your father and the rest of your family.

[Grog]

I am sorry to hear about your father. I hope he remains healthy for long. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[SheFly]

Best wishes to you, your father, and your family. I know what it's like to live so far away. Do what you can, and be sure to take care of yourself.

SheFly

[shootingstar]

I am sorry to hear about your father. I hope he remains healthy for long. My thoughts are with you and your family.

We will find out after CAT test results near end of this month to have a better idea. His CAT scan appt. is next week. My dearest sister explained alot to me... yes, it helps enormously to have a physician within family. But in the end, Dad will die from prostate cancer..it's just a question of when..a long time (several years from now) or earlier?

It just sounds like alot of pain/suffering near end of life.. Seems like the focus ahead, should be on optimizing quality of life.

Statistic quoted by doc-sis at this time in medical history: 80% of men over 80 yrs., get prostate cancer. For some, it just grows real slow..that it doesn't spread, but the guy dies from some other medical problem.

Suffice to say my parents kinda treat their daughter in ways at times, that they forget she's a physician. I won't get into the crazy, sad details. She is their youngest "baby" :) who is trying to give back to him.

[evangundy]

I am so sorry to hear about your father's health. My heart goes out to you, being so far from family. Communication with your father and your family will help you feel as if you're closer.
I can relate. I'm here in Oregon, and my family is mostly in Alberta. My dad is in his late 70's, my stepmom in her late 60's and they are mostly healthy so far. But I know they won't always be.
When my mom went through breast cancer and treatment, then to bone cancer, then to her organs, it was hard to be so far away and not able to get back home as often as I wanted to before she passed away (diagnosed in 1978, died in 1984). We spent lots of time on the phone, which helped. Cards and letters too.

Best wishes for you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Edna

[cylegoddess]

Ian Gawlers 'You can cure cancer." It will help him feel better even if he cant get better.. Also, people at my clincic swear by chelation( which I get). It helps with pain, and also helps a better quality of life even for those who cant be cured. One lady had bad uterine cancer that spread but she kept going because it helped her live longer with less pain.Worth every cent.
My love goes out to you.

[shootingstar]

Without going into much detail on latest developments and options on treatment for my father, let's just say that having a doctor in the family who is one's child and therefore, adovocate and interpreter of medical lingo, for the patient, is of enormous value. I can't imagine for many who don't have this built-in blessing within the family, particularily for complicated long-term and fatal diseases.

I received a complicated email from sister-doctor with medical lingo. It was cc: to another sister who has some formal training to interpret some of the lingo ..to explain the options that my father needs to decide on hormone treatment vs. radiation. My sister-doctor is assisting him to make the decision on course of treatment by trying to explain consequences, etc.

Of course there was a layperson's summary at the end. But still sad..when a very healthy person in the family is suddenly discovered to be ill for the long-term. :(

There is a very popular child's book, by R. Munsch "I Love you forever", which chronicles the unconditional love of a parent which inspires reciprocal care/love by child for the parent in the final years.