View Full Version : Please respect my individuality.
Mad Kate
10-10-2009, 11:20 PM
Without mentioning any names, I like to point out that I’ve been taunted on the fact that I enjoy trying to keep up with my partner while she drives her car. I realise that the chances of me beating her either to work or home is remote. Nevertheless, it is just part of what makes my character.
Every time that I chase there is an allure that I might stay in contact just that little bit longer. Over time I notice improvements, (as trivial as it may be).
One of cycling’s great appeals are that it is one of few activities that have very few restrictions. You can jump on a bike and push it towards its design limits on a daily basis with little risk of running foul of the law.
While my action is an excessive deal of stubbornness and determination as I faced with a seemingly impossible task. This might not be a bad individuality to have, if this can be translated to other areas of my life, it means that I will succeed were others fail or just give up.
Success can be measured in many ways. Moving closer to goals or just getting closer than other people can hardly be considered as failure.
In fairness, I haven’t posted derogatory or insulting messages about any sensitive subjects on this forum to bait users into responding. Okay, motor pacing is risky, but so is a pace line; in which, both activities are illegal. Bicycles and cars have the same rights and responsibilities on the road. For example, bikes are required to come to a full stop at stop signs and red lights, to obey traffic signals, to ride with the flow of traffic, et cetera. Nonetheless, I haven’t been trolling.
Your point is well taken, but I feel there is a misunderstanding here. I only attempt this chase with my partner, Yin. I will never try it with just any motorist. Plus, it’s on a rural road. Besides, usually there is at least a 50 feet gap, so I guess I used a wrong word, as it’s more of a chase than motor pacing.
Um. I hadn't caught this before. I think I'lll just say that no, no-one should be taunted for something like that, even though they wouldn't try it themselves.
But truthfully I think some posters think that you are a forum troll, for posting about an unusual and potentially dangerous activity. Please remember that we do have our share of forum trolls that come and stir up trouble from time to time, so many of us are wary of newcomers that seem different.
I think you will find that once you have introduced yourself and maybe clarified a little bit why you choose to ride the way you do, people wil be very welcoming. Not all subjects are equally popular here (can we say "earbuds", people? :D) but on the whole TE is very supportive of all genuine cyclists. I think your passion for riding fast sounds great.
Mr. Bloom
10-11-2009, 03:24 AM
Hmmm...unless the admins have deleted them...I'm not seeing anything offensive.
Have you been getting snarky and unsolicited PMs about the issue? If so, I'd encourage you to post them for all to see...I'd hate to see PM attacks for something that could be discussed in the forum
crazycanuck
10-11-2009, 04:15 AM
Umm Madkate-Shootingstar wasn't attacking your individuality when she remembered who you were in your post in the health section...:rolleyes:
Get over it! Someone remembered that you do something different. ooooooo...
You should also remember that you are reading these posts with the voice in your head while the one doing the posting is hearing them with the voice in her head.
Intonation and nuance are lost in the written word. Have some tea.
OakLeaf
10-11-2009, 05:02 AM
What lph said - all of it. I haven't seen any taunting either, and AFAIK I've read all the threads where this has been raised.
But yeah, I have seen disrespect, and at the risk of biting on a troll, I'll respond to that as well. There's a phenomenon I see more often on the motorcycle boards, but I think it's in play here, as well as on the earbud threads. I consider the relationships I form on this board to be real relationships and I care about the people here. So if the first or second thing I learn about someone is that she has a death wish (and likes to irritate motorists in a way that might someday make me the victim of road rage), I'm not going to go out of my way to get attached to her.
I think we've all done our share of really crazy stuff when we were young, so it's not "judging." It's just protecting ourselves emotionally against the big crash that you're inviting for yourself. On the chance that you hadn't thought about how dangerous it is to motorpace with any inexperienced driver anywhere, let alone on public roads in rush hour traffic, we pointed that out to you. Since you've chosen to ignore that advice, this is going to sound cold, but I'd rather that you be a stranger than a friend to me when you go under the wheels of that SUV.
Mad Kate
10-11-2009, 05:57 AM
What lph said - all of it. I haven't seen any taunting either, and AFAIK I've read all the threads where this has been raised.
But yeah, I have seen disrespect, and at the risk of biting on a troll, I'll respond to that as well. There's a phenomenon I see more often on the motorcycle boards, but I think it's in play here, as well as on the earbud threads. I consider the relationships I form on this board to be real relationships and I care about the people here. So if the first or second thing I learn about someone is that she has a death wish (and likes to irritate motorists in a way that might someday make me the victim of road rage), I'm not going to go out of my way to get attached to her.
I think we've all done our share of really crazy stuff when we were young, so it's not "judging." It's just protecting ourselves emotionally against the big crash that you're inviting for yourself. On the chance that you hadn't thought about how dangerous it is to motorpace with any inexperienced driver anywhere, let alone on public roads in rush hour traffic, we pointed that out to you. Since you've chosen to ignore that advice, this is going to sound cold, but I'd rather that you be a stranger than a friend to me when you go under the wheels of that SUV.
Your point is well taken, but I feel there is a misunderstanding here. I only attempt this chase with my partner, Yin. I will never try it with just any motorist. Plus, it’s on a rural road. Besides, usually there is at least a 50 feet gap, so I guess I used a wrong word, as it’s more of a chase than motor pacing.
OakLeaf
10-11-2009, 06:48 AM
Okay - fair enough. <olive branch>
jobob
10-11-2009, 07:04 AM
"taunted"? :confused: I didn't read your posts originally (I pass over a lot of posts nowadays), so I looked up all the threads that you've contributed to and I've seen nothing that would qualify to me as "taunting". Legitimate concerns over your motorpacing hobby, yes, but taunting, notsomuch.
Your first post to this forum was a description of your hobby, prefaced with the following:
Is my behavior based on pure determination or is it a obsession?
Many thanks ahead of time for your genuine answers.
Followed by this:
This might be a bit silly, as I enjoy trying to keep up with Yin while she drives her car. This is the best option, especially since I love cycling and she loves driving. Therefore, every time we have an outing, she would drive and I would ride.
People think that it is silly of me to desperately try to race or keep up with Yin’s car, while I am on a road bicycle, but I guess that we all have a child side to things. Especially when the field of estate law can be quite stressful, so by setting a mental goal that keeping up with Yin is a compulsion, I push myself riding as hard as possible to unwind from work.
You've brought this matter up in a few other threads.
What are you looking for? :confused: Validation? Praise?
People who took the time to respond brought up legitimate concerns. Others perhaps chose to remain silent because they didn't have anything constructive to add. I certainly wouldn't have responded. My philosophy is, you're an adult and can make your own choices, and so long as you don't disrupt others' lives, go for it (I'd use the phrase "knock yourself out" but maybe that wouldn't be a good choice here :eek: )
Anyhow, welcome to TE.
shootingstar
10-11-2009, 07:08 AM
I think we've all done our share of really crazy stuff when we were young, so it's not "judging." It's just protecting ourselves emotionally against the big crash that you're inviting for yourself. On the chance that you hadn't thought about how dangerous it is to motorpace with any inexperienced driver anywhere, let alone on public roads in rush hour traffic, we pointed that out to you. Since you've chosen to ignore that advice, this is going to sound cold, but I'd rather that you be a stranger than a friend to me when you go under the wheels of that SUV.
I apologize Kate if I sounded negative to you. But like Oak, it is abit hard for myself personally to understand your method of self-training, by courting death. Yin, your partner is a human driver. She's not a robot. She also could make errors or yourself. For instance, How would you know there would never be black ice on the road in winter to cause you to fall? I've fallen twice on black ice on the road....going slowly up a hill. I've also been hit by a car as a pedestrian, so definitely I know I am not infallible/invincible and probably way more cautious cyclist than ..someone like you.
Oak is absolutely right that some women here in TE form personal face-to-face friendships and that comes from understanding more about each other in terms of personal details. I personally have met 7 women via TE forums.
I also spent considerable time and words describing my own weight, health since I believe I am low in BMI also and had my experiences with loss of periods. But unlike you, a different experience physiologically. I did give you a thoughtful response, but i wondered if I was wasting my words..to a troll.
Other than the fact you have a nice bike, had this health problem and like to car-pace via bike, that's all we know about you. Do you cycle long distances on weekends when not working?
Biciclista
10-11-2009, 08:40 AM
I read a lot of your postings too, and you seemed to me to be taunting US.
"I like to draft off cars, I dare you to say something about it"
You can be as individual as you want to, but if you're hunting for approval, you're not going to get it from people who think you're being willfully reckless. I don't care if Yin is the best driver in the world, stuff happens. And to think you would put a burden like that on someone who cares about you tells us a lot about what you're like.
BleeckerSt_Girl
10-11-2009, 08:47 AM
"taunted"? :confused: I didn't read your posts originally (I pass over a lot of posts nowadays), so I looked up all the threads that you've contributed to and I've seen nothing that would qualify to me as "taunting". Legitimate concerns over your motorpacing hobby, yes, but taunting, notsomuch....
...You've brought this matter up in a few other threads.
What are you looking for? :confused: Validation? Praise?
People who took the time to respond brought up legitimate concerns. Others perhaps chose to remain silent because they didn't have anything constructive to add. I certainly wouldn't have responded. My philosophy is, you're an adult and can make your own choices, and so long as you don't disrupt others' lives, go for it...
I agree. I don't see any taunting either...unless you are getting creepy private messages? Why bring up threads asking if we think either your partner car chasing is an obsession or not, or whether we think your performance level during menses is a concern...if you don't want our actual input? Sounds like you know what you want to do in your riding, so just keep riding and having fun I guess. :o
ginny
10-11-2009, 10:20 AM
um... so, context has probably told me all I need to know, but will someone define "forum troll" for those of us not familiar with the term (okay, then, for me)?
Thanks!
malkin
10-11-2009, 10:55 AM
Wikipedia has this for internet troll:
In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional response[1] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.
Dictionary.com has this for taunt:
taunt
–verb (used with object) 1. to reproach in a sarcastic, insulting, or jeering manner; mock.
2. to provoke by taunts; twit.
–noun 3. an insulting gibe or sarcasm; scornful reproach or challenge.
4. Obsolete. an object of insulting gibes or scornful reproaches.
Origin:
1505–15; orig. uncert.
ginny
10-11-2009, 11:03 AM
malkin: now why didn't I think of looking it up on wiki? Thanks...
Trek420
10-11-2009, 11:30 AM
um... so, context has probably told me all I need to know, but will someone define "forum troll" for those of us not familiar with the term (okay, then, for me)?
Thanks!
I once saw an illustrated guide to trolls that was hilarious. But here's a non illustrated guide to varieties of trolls:
http://ubuntuforums.org/showthread.php?p=1032102
witeowl
10-11-2009, 12:44 PM
There was a time in my life (high school) in which I would work my religion (Paganism) into nearly conversation. I was just itching to be challenged, and my elation upon being challenged was matched only by my disappointment upon being easily accepted.
Honestly, it seems to me that most people here have responded with a fair amount of indifference to the whole motorpacing issue. This thread, then, has brought to mind a scene from the Simpsons where Bart is jumping up and down, complaining that people aren't paying attention to him. "Why won't you pay attention to me?" he whines at one point.
It probably won't be a surprise to hear that this part of Trek's linked post on forum trolls stood out for me: "When trolls are completely ignored they sometimes step up their attacks, desperately seeking the attention they crave. Their messages become more and more foul, and they post ever more of them. Alternatively, they may protest that their right to free speech is being curtailed."
Mad Kate, I'm sorry if my assessment is wrong, but I looked back through your posts and I can only find one not alluding to your motorpacing. You've thrown it in where it didn't really fit (the dog doo response). I find a couple of threads you started yoursely which ended very quickly (indifference). In light of everything else, they truly seem to be of the "pay attention to me" variety.
I don't know what to say. It seems to me that the problem here isn't that people aren't respecting your individuality; it's that they are.
tulip
10-11-2009, 12:56 PM
Whiteowl said everything that I would have if I had really given it alot of thought, which I didn't. Why? I guess it's really because Whiteowl is alot nicer than I am and that I don't give a flying rat's whisker about it.
In a word, Whatever.
Cataboo
10-11-2009, 01:15 PM
Madkate,
I looked up all your threads the other day whenever you posted whatever you posted the other day and I think there was 3 or 4 of them that you had started and they all started off with you really like to chase your partner.
and I kinda shrugged and said, okay, she really really wants us to know that she wants to chase her partner whose driving a car.
I didn't notice anyone saying anything deragatory about it other than maybe you should be careful because it was risky...
I also didn't notice anyone APPLAUDING you for it. Now, if not applauding you for it is what's counting as not respecting your individuality... maybe you need to examine what you want from us.
You also need to realize that you've not been contributing to this forum other than the thread that you've started... which is normally how you get to know people, contributing when you know an answer to a question that someone has or give advice.
So if you post 3-4 threads on your motorpacing, and then post 1 thread about how we're not respecting you... and contribute nothing else... what do you want or expect out of us?
Right now, I just think you're odd and you want attention. If you like to chase your partner... that's great, that's nice you love riding.
tctrek
10-11-2009, 02:34 PM
In a word, Whatever.
+1 to Whatever
kenyonchris
10-11-2009, 02:39 PM
I agree that this thread is odd. I read the original thread when it was posted and didn't understand exactly why it was posted, or what MadKate needed or wanted us to contribute. And I didn't see anything particularly derogatory or offensive about what anyone posted, it seemed to be people were (like me) confused on what, if anything, should be said in response.
Personally, I don't see the point of chasing someone who is driving, any more than I would see the point of a runner trying to chase a bike. But whatever.
To each his own. Don't break any traffic laws, don't endanger anyone else with your actions, and pretty much I could care less. The only reason I bother to respond this time is because it seems that other posters are being maligned for their responses to a confusing and befuddling original post.
This forum is very handy for getting support, information, or sharing an experience. Not so much for tossing out a topic and expecting one reaction, but getting another.
In a word, Whatever.
Or in another word, "meh".
I sure didn't take the time to search any threads.
witeowl
10-11-2009, 04:45 PM
Or in another word, "meh".
I sure didn't take the time to search any threads.
Well, I didn't have any tea to offer, so I had to show an effort in some other way. ;)
I just can't help it, the title of this thread reminds me of this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIVHNylH1Mk)
pinkbikes
10-12-2009, 04:07 AM
Hmmm... in my world respect needs to be earned. Not sure this performance has earned you any.:confused:
I'd say at this point all we've seen is a bunch of you rubbing our faces in your individuality, which has done little to earn you any respect.
I think it's fair to say that I'm pretty indifferent to your individuality.
this really isn't any of my business, and I'm not an admin, but still... I'm feeling a bit uneasy about this. Yeah, I'm a wimp.
If I were to receive the messages Mad Kate has on this thread - and earlier - I'm not sure I would feel taunted, but I certainly wouldn't feel very welcome.
Please, can we just leave it now? I think the opposite point has been made.
beccaB
10-12-2009, 08:22 AM
I think someone should yell at me. I tried to race a tractor. I'm 48, and should know better. It won eventually. probably made him mad, and not a good way to foster acceptance of bicyclists in my community. So, I won't be offended if someone chastises me.
Darn you! How will I get these biscuit crumbs out of my keyboard?:D
OakLeaf
10-12-2009, 08:47 AM
Darn you! How will I get these biscuit crumbs out of my keyboard?:D
:D:D
This (http://www.iskin.com/products_mac.tpl) is the only reason my laptops last longer than 6 months...
e.e.cummings
10-14-2009, 12:26 PM
Darn you! How will I get these biscuit crumbs out of my keyboard?:D
I was going to post that somebody should tell a joke, but you beat me to it ...
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