girl roles-playing princess, etc.

[shootingstar]

My brother-in-law hopes for his 18-month daughter that she will not hanker for the current Disney-marketed trend of playing princess..in terms of costumes, parties, etc. He doesn't even like overtly bright pink clothing for little girls.

Not sure what he is worried about if he's concerned about any possible (unhealthy?) obsession of uber princess identity for daughter. Probably worried about the cost. I'm sure the my sister-mother will ensure daughter won't get carried away.

I wasn't aware of this consumer-driven fad. But another sister told me her 7 yr. old daughter was recently invited to a princess party.

P.S. Ok, I'm not a parent.
Just an aunt to several nieces (24 yrs., 7 yrs. and 18 months) and nephews from 3 sisters. But I did grow up in female dominant family (in terms of sheer numbers) since I have 4 sisters and 1 brother.

So have seen phases of how little girls try on different roles /clothing/playing based on their temporary (?) whims.

[VeloVT]

meh. I was a ballet dancer and a tomboy. she'll work it out for herself.

[Cataboo]

My half brother didn't want to raise a girly girl. She wasn't allowed to wear pink, wear dresses, play with barbie dolls, whatever. REsult was whatever she did have, she'd pretend was a baby doll - even if it was the cat. At a school charity sale when she was 5 or 6, she used her saved money to buy herself a barbie doll... which my half brother promptly trashed when she brought it home.

All she ever wanted to wear to school was dresses and pink.

I don't think he actually got anywhere with all his anti-girly-girl efforts...

My sister's daughter is in the disney princess phase and has been for the last 4 years or something. I think it was dora the explorer before that. I make sure to buy her 1 educational/something I think she'd like gift & 1 princess type gift for her birthday/christmas.

I have friends that did the no tv and no disney thing - that sorta works until the kids get into school and start going over to their friends house.

I vaguely remember playing dress up, possibly ocassionally playing princess - but nothing like what little girls seem to do now... but I was more of a tom boy.

[papaver]

Let kids be what they want to be.

[smurfalicious]

There's a really interesting book called Pink Think - Becoming a Woman in Many Uneasy Lessons that talks a lot about this. It's fun reading, you should check it out. You'll learn all about books on bad boys, Dream Date and Lysol as douche!

http://www.amazon.com/Pink-Think-Becoming-Uneasy-Lessons/dp/0393323544/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253688182&sr=8-1

[Mr. Bloom]

I may not have always said this. But now, I'd say "let it be".

SilverDaughter was as prissy as any young girl...but with a streak of independence - she'd always wear two different colored socks, but each one matched her dress.

Then, as an early teen, she went through the "nearly goth" phase where everything she wore was black (except her bright red dog collar:eek:) This was a challenging time for me...

Then she found "her" look - which is anything but prissy, but very beautiful.

From a social standpoint, I think that the best thing that we can breed into our kids is versatility - an ability to adapt to the situation with comfort.

[papaver]

Then, as an early teen, she went through the "nearly goth" phase where everything she wore was black (except her bright red dog collar:eek:) This was a challenging time for me...

My father nearly had a heart attack when I came home with orange hair. :D:D:D They don't call it goth anymore. It's Emo. :D:D:D

[Crankin]

It is a developmental phase that parents can't control. I was a Barbie playing tomboy who loved playing army with all of the boys in the neighborhood in the 50's and 60's. I had an independent streak, too. I don't have daughters, but I think I might have tended to trying to steer a daughter away from girly-girl things when I was younger. However, I found out that you just can't control this stuff. I forbade toy guns, etc. and one kid is a Marine. I guess I never should have allowed those little green plastic soldiers he used to play with for hours, while the other one was reading or doing science experiments!

[OakLeaf]

My experience as a daughter (not a parent) is that parents can successfully isolate their kids from cultural influences if they isolate them from culture - few friends allowed, only infant TV (which had a lot fewer commercials than modern shows), no after school activities. I guess the present-day equivalent is home schooling.

My opinion is the social isolation and the lifelong impairment in the ability to have social relationships, just aren't worth it. Eventually an adult can teach herself how to dress and groom herself; learning how to interact with peers needs to happen in childhood, I think.

Oddly enough, my mom did raise me on the fantasy that someday I might marry Prince Charles, who's my same age. :p

[lph]

I wouldn't worry too much about the role-playing or the clothes - they probably mean something quite different to a small girl (maybe a dream of being magically elevated above everything mundane and boring) - but I would put a little effort into exploring her values and ideas, listening to them, and challenging them if necessary at the right age. And making ones own values clear, of course.

We tried to delay our son's exposure to realistic war toys, but never forbade them. So he's run around and "killed" people like every small boy, but I also made it very clear that I did not want him pointing anything gunlike at me, because it made me uncomfortable. Because people really do die that way, and I did not want to play at that particular game.

To each their own sensibilities. There are things I wouldn't let my son (or daughter if I had one) wear, but that would be because they didn't understand the message it gave to the rest of society.

[Aggie_Ama]

My nieces like princess stuff and anything pink or purple. They also like camping, fishing, making mudpies, getting gross on the ranch. The only thing I refuse to buy is the Hannah Montana stuff because I think it is a bit old for them (4&6). I like to get educational toys but I also believe dolls promote imagination, every play time my Barbies were in some mini-story I made up. In my opinion it all has some benefit.

[limewave]

I have an almost 4yo dd. We tried to keep her away from the Princess stuff after seeing our neice go through that phase. But somehow dd ended up with a wardrobe of princess dresses, princess shoes, princess purses, princess everything (thank to grandma and grandpa who have declared "there are no rules in their house!").

It bothered DH but I didn't really see the harm. Until . . .

She started getting a prissy princess attitude. And it was BAD. We took all of her princess things away and stashed them in the attic. We told her when she could start behaving like a "real" princess, she could have them back.

Now we talk alot about the characteristics of a princess: kind, uses her manners, thinks of others before herself, etc.

We have not given her princess dresses back yet. But we do get dressed up in pretty dresses. We practice having royal tea parties and go to the ball. It's all fun and fantasy, but we also learn proper ettiquette. DD doesn't even ask about her princess stuff anymore.

DD has a much better attitude. We are surprising her with a trip to Disney World this winter and doing the Princess Tea Party :) We even plan on giving her back one of her princess dresses :):):) She's earned it.

[limewave]

By the way, Princess Parties are VERY popular. It's almost impossible to avoid the Disney Princess franchise. I keep thinking we should move to the country and become Amish.

[Pax]

I'd be fascinated to see how a little kid would grow up if they weren't exposed to non-stop 24/7 marketing.

[tulip]

I was not allowed to have Barbies, so I went over to my friends to play with hers.

The Barbie itself did not have a negative effect on me. What did, however, is the still present curse of disapproval--the things that I valued as a child were disapproved of by my parents. As a child, that translated into them disapproving of me.

I hope your brother just lets his daughter be.

[OakLeaf]

What did, however, is the still present curse of disapproval--the things that I valued as a child were disapproved of by my parents. As a child, that translated into them disapproving of me.

YES!!!! And, their disapproving of my peers, and my learning to ape that disapproval. A constant bizarre dialectic of "I'm so much better than them" and "I'm completely worthless."

[channlluv]

When my daughter was four, someone gave her her first Barbie. She took her out of the box, played with her long, blonde hair a bit, fluffed up the party dress, looked at her pump-ready feet and then looked at me and said, "Mommy, her feets broke."

That was the end of her interest in Barbie.

:)
Roxy

[Pax]

I dressed my Barbie in my brothers GI Joe fatigues, then she and I kicked commie butt. :D

[Grits]

I have two boys, and the youngest went through a princess, barbie phase when he was 4 or so. We didn't buy him any dresses, but he found things to make do with - a bathrobe of mine, for example. We didn't discourage him or encourage him, although we did buy him a Barbie doll or 2. He even took the Barbie to preschool for show and tell a few times. Negative peer pressure kicked in by kindergarten, and he can't believe it now when he sees pictures of himself dressed up. It did no harm, but I believe it would have been harmful to not allow him that expression that he seemed to need for whatever reason.

[OakLeaf]

looked at her pump-ready feet and then looked at me and said, "Mommy, her feets broke."

LMAO

And here I'm the one with calves full of trigger points, unable to dorsiflex my ankles beyond about 85°, when I've never in my life worn heels over 3" and heels that high only for a lifetime total of maybe 30 hours... only ever spent an hour or two a day walking in low-heeled pumps.

And my feets broke.

Get that Barbie some night splints, a Stick and a Thera-Cane. :D:D

[Crankin]

Oakleaf, your comment about how your parents made you feel really brought home my decision to accept my son's decision to join the Marines. I still didn't like it, but I couldn't reject my son. With almost six years perspective, we are as close as ever. Perhaps it also has to do with the fact he has made the decision that he will be done in 2 years and go back to school, but there have also been several other things that he has said recently that reflect the values he was brought up with. Eventually, they come to the surface and I feel like my parenting skills have been validated.

[VeloVT]

The Barbie itself did not have a negative effect on me. What did, however, is the still present curse of disapproval--the things that I valued as a child were disapproved of by my parents. As a child, that translated into them disapproving of me.


YES!!!! And, their disapproving of my peers, and my learning to ape that disapproval. A constant bizarre dialectic of "I'm so much better than them" and "I'm completely worthless."

Oakleaf & Tulip, well put. I can really relate to this, unfortunately.

[GLC1968]

I was not allowed to have Barbies, so I went over to my friends to play with hers.

The Barbie itself did not have a negative effect on me. What did, however, is the still present curse of disapproval--the things that I valued as a child were disapproved of by my parents. As a child, that translated into them disapproving of me.

I hope your brother just lets his daughter be.

Yes! My best friend growing up had this same problem. She used to hang out at our house because we 'could do anything we wanted'...(sort of!) and would dread when it was time to go home. Even as a small child, that seemed wrong to me.

[limewave]

Parenting is really tough. You think you're doing the best for your kids and it ends up being the wrong thing.

My mom pushed barbies on me too. She had always wanted barbies but her family couldn't afford them. So she bought a bunch for me. I hated them.

I, too, have always felt like I didn't "fit" in my family. I was never what they "pictured" their daughter to be like.

[Cataboo]

ha.

My Mom's proud of me - but I am not quite the daughter she imagined...

She'll say things like "My friends kids get married, they have children, they own big houses... loook at my kids, what have they done?"

then she'll mention how well one of her friend's daughter is doing... and I'll be like... seriously Mom? She got pregnant at 15, dropped out of high school, has 4 kids, is on her 2nd marriage and has the big house because while her 2nd husband was divorcing his 1st wife, she got in a car accident with their daughter, both died, and he got the life insurance... But... hey, she's married with 4 kids & has a big house.

The thread on Mother's buying bike stuff for us was funny in that - I suppose if I asked my Mom to, she'd buy me bike stuff - But she really likes buying me jewelry, going to the jewelry shop with me, helping to design the jewelry, etc. And while I like jewerly, it's pretty, I don't wear it too much 'cause of what I do at work, and it's a bit dangerous if I crash with it on... so around my birthday or christmas, I let her take me jewelry shopping... It makes her happy, she gets to spend time with me, and it's a gift that she understands and i get a pretty trinket... When I first started skiing, she did take me and buy some base layers and fleece to layer - but I was still in college without much of an income.

My father understood my hobbies a lot better, and was more financially supportive of them - so as a kid, I'd get cabbage patch dolls from my Mom as gifts, and science kits or cameras or whatever from my Dad. It worked.


And I'm in no way saying my parents were or are bad :)

[ginny]

Catriona, that jewelery comment is funny to me: when I was graduating with my BS, my mom asked what I wanted. Easy, a sea kayak. I got an antique ring :D

She did her best. I also wasn't allowed to play with barbie dolls. It didn't matter to me because I didn't really want to. Though, Tulip, I can see how if I did want to play with barbie dolls, i would have seen my mother's rejection of them as a rejection of me.

I have no children, and I thank the universe that I will not have to face those painfully difficult questions that come with rearing children. I also thank the universe that I was blessed with a (fallible) mother who loved me dearly.

[SpinSpinSugar]

Umm... Have your brother get her a bike or trike or whatever - and turn the damn tv off. Take her to a park with a sandbox or some swings. Give the kid something else to do or be interested in - rather than letting them figure out what they "want" to get into.

Kids need firm rules, boundaries, and limitations - no different than dogs or any other pack mammals. If she wants her Princess stuff - than it should be earned first, the amount of time and manner it's played with controlled, and she needs to respect the limits when it's time to put it away. If those things do not happen then no Princess playtime... period.

SpinSpinSugar

[limewave]

Umm... Have your brother get her a bike or trike or whatever - and turn the damn tv off. Take her to a park with a sandbox or some swings. Give the kid something else to do or be interested in - rather than letting them figure out what they "want" to get into.
SpinSpinSugar

Easier said than done. We take DD on bike rides all the time. Play at the park. DH built her a huge sandbox that she loves to play in. And the only TV she watches is Handy Manny in the AM when we're getting ready for work. She loves all of those things . . . but she also loves Princesses. I think this has more to do with her older cousin--whom she ADORES.

Unless you homeschool and don't let your kids play with other kids . . . then you can't control everything they are exposed to.

[Cataboo]

Catriona, that jewelery comment is funny to me: when I was graduating with my BS, my mom asked what I wanted. Easy, a sea kayak. I got an antique ring :D

I also thank the universe that I was blessed with a (fallible) mother who loved me dearly.

I never asked my Mom for a kayak - I just bought them myself and I think it still gives her heart attacks that I go out in them.

But when it came time for me to get a car, and I was cheaping out - my Mom was pretty insistent that I get the subaru that I'd mentioned wanting before to carry my boats & bikes... and helped with it for my grad school graduation.

She bought me a nice flat screen tv last christmas - which is great - but... I don't really watch tv. She went out at 5 am on Black friday to get one for me. I finally hooked it up to a digital antenna on Monday so I could see the season premiere of house. And i use it as a big computer monitor.

[SpinSpinSugar]

Unless you homeschool and don't let your kids play with other kids . . . then you can't control everything they are exposed to.

But you can control the intensity to which they express their interest in the things they are exposed to. Or at least the actions that come from those things they are interested in.

SpinSpinSugar

[tulip]

Just let her be a frikkin princess already. You don't have to buy all the stuff, but don't give her grief for liking princesses!

[shootingstar]

Just let her be a frikkin princess already. You don't have to buy all the stuff, but don't give her grief for liking princesses!


Methinks my brother-in-law, the princess-phobic guy, doesn't quite yet understand little girls. His jobs never involved working with children and nor does he have any sisters. Worry-wart: kid is only 18 months old. :rolleyes:

His wife (my sister) is a physician --she will gently steer daughter to value...inner qualities of self/people more. I'm sure of it.

7- yr. Niece-daughter of a different sister: she just finished warm season of soccer and will be starting hockey for lst time this fall. Also enrolled in gymnastics. Enough distractions from Barbiedom and princess stuff but she occasionally wears pink/purple, etc. It appears to me, she's outgrown her dolls since I didn't see her dragging out any or see any evidence.

24-yr. old niece-daughter of yet another sister, is a geotechnical engineer with a great career right now. Yea as a kid, she did the nail polish pretend stuff, some pink clothing (but not everything), etc. She went to a family wedding this summer, as a guest, dressed in khaki pants and casual jacket. OK. Girliedom is so distant right now to her. She didn't seem to wear any makeup at this dressy function. :):) (Yay!!!! She gets the message right about empowerment.)

[limewave]

Just let her be a frikkin princess already. You don't have to buy all the stuff, but don't give her grief for liking princesses!

:):)

[ACG]

I have to chime in here. I grew up in a house of 3 girls, 1 younger brother. Raised 2 girls (19 and 25), now raising a 7 year old girl.

My 19 year old pointed out that why do we have easy bake ovens for girls and not for boys, good point kiddo!

Disney is out there, the mass media of it all. They send you stuff to your home, they own various TV stations, etc. They have an obsession with stories of young innocent princess girls, no moms, kinda dumb dads, marrying some prince guy. Not real life.

There are princess parties, everywhere too. People make a big deal out of 8th grade graduation, like it is wedding! And let's forget the prom's, or what about that TV show about super rich spoiled girls having sweet 16 parties.

I believe that as a parent you can and should supervise what your child, boy or girl is exposed to. Saying that I realize you can not control everything but must with firm and loving guidance provide them with an environment that shows them ALL aspects of life and it's opportunities.

My two cents over and out.

[malkin]

Get a copy of The Paper Bag Princess for those princessy girls (and boys)!

[Cataboo]

My little brother is still crushed that my Dad wouldn't let him have a My Buddy doll when he was young. Mom bought him one for his birthday like he wanted, but Dad made her return it.

He did at least get to have a pound puppy.

[shootingstar]

Get a copy of The Paper Bag Princess for those princessy girls (and boys)!


Gave that bk. to niece when she was little long ago (the engineer). I only bought the book in the tiny wallet size version. Thought the title was cute. I didn't even look/vet the story's content. Careless aunt (I'm also a librarian, but not a children's librarian.)

So ....several decades later discovered the storyline:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Paper_Bag_Princess

My salute to all parents who try hard to raise their children well.

[limewave]

Get a copy of The Paper Bag Princess for those princessy girls (and boys)!

One of my favorite books when I was a kid. My mom read it to me all the time.

[Crankin]

I love that book.
The marine's My Buddy is still lying on top of his bed in my house. Both of my boys had dolls, including the anatomically correct one we got for the older one, so he could have a baby when I had a baby. I had to drive 20 miles, to FAO Shwartz, on a 112 degree day to buy that doll!

[nj_likes]

My opinion is the social isolation and the lifelong impairment in the ability to have social relationships, just aren't worth it. Eventually an adult can teach herself how to dress and groom herself; learning how to interact with peers needs to happen in childhood, I think.


I have to agree with OakLeaf. My parents tried to shelter me a LOT when I was a child. We didn't get to watch TV, we didn't have a lot of toys (although, I did have a few Barbies....along with marbles and Transformers), and we played outside a lot. However, as much as my parents meant it for my own good, it made relating to my peers very difficult.

My current philosophy is "everything in moderation." That's how we plan on raising our daughter.

[Cataboo]

One of my favorite books when I was a kid. My mom read it to me all the time.

I just bought it for my sister's daughter - who's totally in a disney princess phase and has been for a couple of years.

[Mr. Bloom]

My current philosophy is "everything in moderation." That's how we plan on raising our daughter.

I think that's a good philosophy! Even the "really good" things are a problem in excess.

[Irulan]

late to the party.

I was forbidden Barbies and all that good stuff. The only good thing about the way my uber lefty parents raised me is that my brother was able to get CO status for the Vietman war because of thier anti war toy position.

Here's how I handled stuff with my boys. Yes, boys but there are still issues. I explained in terms they could understand WHY we didn't do certain things or allow certain toys at our house.

Example: we didn't buy/permit much Disney stuff. The reasons we ( both of us as parents ) gave 1. Disney repackaged someone else's stories - you explain this correctly and you can have great library adventures finding Milne, Hans Christen Anderson etc and 2. guys sitting around trying to figure out how many products they can market to parents and or kids. Kids GET this stuff.

Same thing with cartoon advertising and toys. If you explain it in kid terms, they easily grasp the concept that someone is just trying to make a buck off of cartoon tagged toothbrushes, underpants and other stuff. But you have to start early.

We did the math on Happy Meals, just how much you were paying for that crappy little toy.

My boy's hearts were broken when Lego sold out and started branding thier blocks with Pizza Hut and a few other things.

I think it's important to encourage imagination through dressups and fantasy play.. so instead of forbidding princess play, if I had daughters I'd find ways to make it creative and imaginative, and not just be reenactment of the latest Disney cartoon. I would spend a lot of time explaining WHY, in terms they could grasp, certain roles might be positive or negative, instead of just not allowing it. And then present the kind of imagination fodder that would be acceptable.

It's eerie now that my boys are pretty much grown, to see how the indoctrination I did about Disney TV cartoon toys and marketing has stayed with them into adult hood, and manifested into some fairly cool social responsibility.

[sfa]

I think with kids you get what you get and there's not a lot you can do to change that. Lots of stories of kids who seek out the things they want/are interested in even when their parents disapprove attest to that.

My DD is definitely NOT the daughter I imagined. While the whole Princess Lifestyle (tm) makes me ill, I loved traditional girl toys growing up--dolls and tea parties and pretend games (I also loved basketball and camping and seeing what I could mix up with my chemistry set, though). So with my DD I was looking forward to getting her baby dolls and playing dress up and having slumber parties with her friends.

Not happening. When someone gave her a Barbie doll, she undressed it, said "look, mommy, a doll with boobies" and then held it by the head and used it's sharp pointy feet as a sword. Then it went into a box and she never touched it again. She DOES play with the play food, but only to feed all of her stuffed animals. She's all about animals and really nothing else--and that's a completely foreign concept to me. I think I had two stuffed animals growing up and they just kinda sat around.

There's no point in trying to change her--she is who she is and likes what she likes, and I love her no matter what she likes. So the American Girl doll was a waste of $100 (it just kinda sits around). The Disney Princess she really likes is the kick-*** Mulan, but overall with Disney movies she'd rather watch Lady and the Tramp and Lion King. I don't think I've ever disapproved of anything she likes, but I have to admit to a few years of confusion as her personality and tastes emerged and I wondered where the heck this was coming from!

Sarah

[limewave]

There's no point in trying to change her--she is who she is and likes what she likes, and I love her no matter what she likes. So the American Girl doll was a waste of $100 (it just kinda sits around).

This is so true. DD (almost 4yo) keeps getting extravagant dolls from one aunt in particular. DD doesn't play with dolls. She has no interest in them. The in-laws ask me what she wants for presents and I always say: soccer or swim lessons, a camelbak (she keeps asking for one), flashcards . . . Then they look at me quizzically and say "I want to get her something SHE can use."

Didn't I just tell them?

But they continue to buy her dolls that sit at the bottom of her toy box. She likes to play sports. She likes to play "School" with her baby brother. I never see her playing with "toys" of any kind.

[Tuckervill]

I guess the present-day equivalent is home schooling.

No, it's not. Homeschooling does not equal social, cultural, religious, ethnic or any other kind of isolation. There are as many different types of homeschoolers as there are people who send their kids to brick-and-mortar school. Please do not perpetuate that stereotype.

I'm visiting out of town and don't have easy internet access, so I may or may not be able to post in this thread again. This explains my rather direct reply.

Karen

[Irulan]

No, it's not. Homeschooling does not equal social, cultural, religious, ethnic or any other kind of isolation. There are as many different types of homeschoolers as there are people who send their kids to brick-and-mortar school. Please do not perpetuate that stereotype.

I'm visiting out of town and don't have easy internet access, so I may or may not be able to post in this thread again. This explains my rather direct reply.

Karen

uh yeah, wow


Unless you homeschool and don't let your kids play with other kids . . . then you can't control everything they are exposed to.

Yes certainly the stereo type of the overprotective, isolationist home school families exist BUT there are as many kinds of home school variations as there are colors of skin on the planet. I agree don't perpetuate the stereo type of homeschools as a bunch of isolationist fanatics...
I personally know:
-education co-op types, with huge amounts of intellectual and social input from a variety of sources (field trips, community experiences,visiting experts, shared teaching);
- religious/isolationist home schoolers;
-hippie-granola home schoolers;
-waldorf type family education groups
-gifted kids working way past their grade level with parent and community support;
-trouble maker kids who's parents "home school" them but this just means the kid watches tv and skateboards all day,


This is why I am such a proponent of telling a kid why, in their terms, something is the way it is at our house.

[sarahspins]

I haven't read all of the replies, but I think kids will be what they want to be... regardless of influence from parents. I am so not a girly girl... but my 4 year old however, yikes... she is totally girly. She tells me she wants to be a ballerina (she's never taken dance classes) and she LOVES shopping for all manner of girly things (I hate shopping). It's rediculous almost... she loves dolls and ponies and dress up all kinds of things that I just don't "get" because I was just never interested in them as a kid (I was a serious tom boy, as was my sister).

Where does this come from? I have NO idea. I think it's cute, and I do think on some sort of level I may encourage it because it is cute, but on the flip side, she's just as at home playing with toy cars and legos... or going out and getting dirty in the yard, and my boys are just as at home playing tea party with her or playing with otherwise "girly" things.. because I try not to push much gender-bias on any of them and nothing really has a "label" attached to it - if it's fun, imaginative play, it's fair game in this house :D

[northstar]

To kind of add a dimension to this thread...

I just finished reading Alfie Kohn's book, Unconditional Parenting, and it really is about being engaged in your children's lives and letting them be who they are. I thought it was a great read. We just really need to be in tune with what might be influencing our kids' interests and make sure that it's for their own good.

[limewave]

DH just forwarded me this site (http://family.go.com/entertainment/doc-princess/?CMP=OTC-DIS_PrincessMain_234x60_ParentingPrincess).

[shootingstar]

DH just forwarded me this site (http://family.go.com/entertainment/doc-princess/?CMP=OTC-DIS_PrincessMain_234x60_ParentingPrincess).

Perhaps this is what my brother-in-law would not like to happen-- daughter wanting stuff to bought on the Disney theme.

Princess stuff is ok especially when it's homemade stuff and creative, harmless (non-hurtful to other children in terms of status) role playing that the kids make up on their own. Based on fairytales they might have read or seen in a movie. At least they are creating their own imaginative world, a good thing instead of relying on Disneyifed stuff..that costs money..and more money.

Guess when it gets to the little girl beauty pageants with tiara crap...to me, from a family of 4 sisters and 1 brother, it's just parenting in the wrong direction.

Due to poverty, we only had um..2 dolls amongst all us kids. None of them Barbies. 1 of the dolls was actually.....doll with rough curly blonde hair, blue eyes and wearing....a dirndl. Given as a gift and now I realize, how coincidental that was...since I grew up in German-based Ontario city!

[e.e.cummings]

lph, it sounds like we have gone through the same thing - I tried so hard to limit my son's exposure to 'war-like' toys, tv and activities, however, you could go for a walk in the park and he would pick up a stick and he and his friends would be playing 'cops and robbers', pretending it was a gun. Are they hard-wired? Probably the same on the girls side. I grew up with my barbies, loved them, and I don't think it did any harm. To echo Tulip's sentiment, when the parents disapprove of an activity, it can often come off as disapproval of the child. It say let her be.

[BalaRoja]

Let kids be what they want to be.

+10000

[Crankin]

Yes, there is research that proves that boys are hardwired to pick up that stick and pretend it's a gun.
A lot of good my no war toy policy did me. My son who is in the Marines played with those little green toy soldiers for hours, read hundreds of books on military history, and was obsessed with the history channel (still is). I didn't try to stop it and I am glad I didn't.