Notes to myself

[owlice]

Do not let SIX YEARS go by without cleaning your bike. Yeah, yeah, you wiped down the frame when it needed it, but the crud that came off the cassette, back derailleur, and crank set last night and this morning was astonishing. Frightful. Unbelievable, even! Good thing you took a picture of the crud; please post it where you can see it regularly. If your bike hates you, it has good reason to do so!

Don't overlube; see "crud" above.

Do not put the bike on the bike rack and then put the packed panniers on it, especially if you have put the bike on the rack so that the south end is to the left. Your left arm cannot support the back end of the bike even when it doesn't have panniers on it; what made you think you'd be able to lift the bike off the rack once you got to the trail?! Oh, wait.... you didn't think. Never mind! (Please do remember, however, for next time!)

A ride that begins with getting the handlebars tangled in your hair as you struggle to get the bike off the rack (see previous paragraph) is not off to a good start.

When riding the C&O Canal towpath, watch for the closest mile marker as soon as you get on it instead of looking at the canal as you ride to see what birds, insects, mammals, etc. are in it. Look at the scenery AFTER you know exactly which mile marker is closest to where you left the car.

Swains Lock is at mile 16.6 on the towpath, not "just below mile marker 20," as you thought because mile marker 20 was the first mile marker you noticed. There's a good reason why it seemed longer than a mile from the car to mile marker 20!

If you want to get in a 50-mile ride, it helps to know exactly where you started the ride; if you don't pay attention to where you started the ride, you might end up with a longer ride than you intended. You will not be happy about that; you will be in pain. The sun might set, too, before you find your car, and your best friend might not be where she can look online when you call her from the trail to find out whether the place you left your car is still in front of you.

Get a light on your bike; see previous paragraph.

Deciding to do 50 miles, further than you've ever biked, on the same ride you are riding with packed panniers for the first time, to see how it feels to have the additional weight on the bike, was not a good idea.

Vultures know. Yes, they know, and those black vultures really WERE waiting for you to keel over.

Put aspirin, Aleve, ibuprofen, and Tylenol in your handlebar bag; you need them handy-by.

Buy a new saddle.

[Kalidurga]

When riding the C&O Canal towpath, watch for the closest mile marker as soon as you get on it instead of looking at the canal as you ride to see what birds, insects, mammals, etc. are in it. Look at the scenery AFTER you know exactly which mile marker is closest to where you left the car.

Swains Lock is at mile 16.6 on the towpath, not "just below mile marker 20," as you thought because mile marker 20 was the first mile marker you noticed. There's a good reason why it seemed longer than a mile from the car to mile marker 20!

Even better, stop by one of the visitor's centers along the C&O and pick up a map &/or one of the little green guide books that includes the mileage of every campsite, culvert, aqueduct, bridge, boat ramp, etc, etc, etc. Then you can look at the scenery and still be able to figure out your mileage.

And then get yourself some Rock'n'Roll lube (http://www.rocklube.com/).

[redrhodie]

Do not let SIX YEARS go by without cleaning your bike. Yeah, yeah, you wiped down the frame when it needed it, but the crud that came off the cassette, back derailleur, and crank set last night and this morning was astonishing. Frightful. Unbelievable, even! Good thing you took a picture of the crud; please post it where you can see it regularly. If your bike hates you, it has good reason to do so!

Don't overlube; see "crud" above.

Do not put the bike on the bike rack and then put the packed panniers on it, especially if you have put the bike on the rack so that the south end is to the left. Your left arm cannot support the back end of the bike even when it doesn't have panniers on it; what made you think you'd be able to lift the bike off the rack once you got to the trail?! Oh, wait.... you didn't think. Never mind! (Please do remember, however, for next time!)

A ride that begins with getting the handlebars tangled in your hair as you struggle to get the bike off the rack (see previous paragraph) is not off to a good start.

When riding the C&O Canal towpath, watch for the closest mile marker as soon as you get on it instead of looking at the canal as you ride to see what birds, insects, mammals, etc. are in it. Look at the scenery AFTER you know exactly which mile marker is closest to where you left the car.

Swains Lock is at mile 16.6 on the towpath, not "just below mile marker 20," as you thought because mile marker 20 was the first mile marker you noticed. There's a good reason why it seemed longer than a mile from the car to mile marker 20!

If you want to get in a 50-mile ride, it helps to know exactly where you started the ride; if you don't pay attention to where you started the ride, you might end up with a longer ride than you intended. You will not be happy about that; you will be in pain. The sun might set, too, before you find your car, and your best friend might not be where she can look online when you call her from the trail to find out whether the place you left your car is still in front of you.

Get a light on your bike; see previous paragraph.

Deciding to do 50 miles, further than you've ever biked, on the same ride you are riding with packed panniers for the first time, to see how it feels to have the additional weight on the bike, was not a good idea.

Vultures know. Yes, they know, and those black vultures really WERE waiting for you to keel over.

Put aspirin, Aleve, ibuprofen, and Tylenol in your handlebar bag; you need them handy-by.

Buy a new saddle.


I'm sorry this happened too you, but it's very funny! But, you did it. What doesn't kill you...

[graceomalley]

This sounds like a very frustrating situation but at least you have a great sense of humor after it's all said and done. Thanks for the pointers :D

[owlice]

Even better, stop by one of the visitor's centers along the C&O and pick up a map &/or one of the little green guide books that includes the mileage of every campsite, culvert, aqueduct, bridge, boat ramp, etc, etc, etc. Then you can look at the scenery and still be able to figure out your mileage.

An excellent suggestion, and I will do that before I do the whole towpath next month.

In the meantime, I think I will get myself a bike computer; that would solve the problem regardless of where I ride -- 25 miles up, turn around, 25 miles back! (Assuming I lose my mind and decide to do 50 miles again; maybe I should simply hope I won't do it in 90-degree heat again!)


But, you did it. What doesn't kill you...

I was anticipating feeling really proud of myself for doing my first half-century; what I felt instead was stupid!! Maybe once the stupid feeling wears off -- assuming it does -- I'll feel proud of myself, but so far, it's not happening!!


Thanks for the pointers

You're welcome! This old Owl is learning new tricks; a pity some of them are learned the hard way, but I guess that means the lessons will stick, right? :eek:

A little of the massive amounts of crud I got off my bike:

http://s861.photobucket.com/albums/ab178/owlice1/?action=view&current=crud.jpg

The vultures anticipating my demise:

http://s861.photobucket.com/albums/ab178/owlice1/?action=view&current=vultures.jpg

[Kano]

So, DH teases me about it, but I've got this free app on my phone that keeps track of where I left my car. I've used it for where I left my bike too, when we've gone to festivals where the entrance is gated, and you park outside, and walk in, eat and drink stuff while listening to music, and then you have to remember where you left the bike so you can ride it home again. (example: Fat Tire Festival, next weekend!)

Karen in Boise

[owlice]

Either take advantage of the step-through frame by stepping through it, or remember to swing your right leg up and over the left pannier in addition to over the bike itself when mounting and, especially, dismounting, lest you again sport bruises the shape and nearly the size of New Zealand on your inner right thigh.

(Oh, so many many things to learn, most of which seem to necessitate pain and/or the expenditure of money to learn!)

[Jen72]

Such a good laugh! Thank you! As a new biker I can learn from your mistakes.

[owlice]

Learn to ride with your mouth closed. This is especially important when riding at dusk past the swamp. Let's not have a repeat of that recent "snack," okay?

Get sunglasses. You have better things to do than pick bugs out of your eyes for the 24 hours after a ride. Really.

It's not the best idea to sing, "The runners and walkers look so glum when they're striding/but I've got bugs in my teeth 'cause I smile when I'm riding!" when you're passing a runner. Especially a fast, angry runner. Especially at the incredibly slow speeds at which you ride. Similarly, it's not a good idea to sing this in the elevator on your way back to your office after a ride unless you've stopped in the bathroom downstairs to smile at a mirror and... ummm... take care of things. (You know what I mean by this, I'm sure.)

Check the seams of your riding shorts before you head out. 'nough said there, I trust.

[Tri Girl]

I'm sorry, but I laughed as I read this. I shouldn't laugh because I know it was a *rough* ride for you, but I'm glad you can laugh about it and learn a little something along the way. The way you wrote it was very entertaining.
Sorry you had a tough day, but it seems we learn more from the things we do WRONG than from most anything we do RIGHT (it's what I tell my students, anyway- and it appears to be the motto of my life). :)

[Librarygirl]

Owlice,

You made me laugh with all that! All of them the kind of things that I would do (and do do frequently - apart from the singing, I'm not that creative with lyrics :D)

And yes, those bugs in the eyes and the mouth are most unpleasant. Although lately it's mostly been the gnats around the lake which have a mild taste and chewy quality not unlike pieces of wholewheat flakes :p

Hope your next ride is/has been more enjoyable. Please keep entertaining us with your stories!

Linda :D

[marni]

also in the summer. beware of the" human fly paper syndrome" where you, greasy from sunscreen and sweaty from the heat and humidity ride through several clouds of gnats and no seeums. If you sit and press your legs or arms against anything, they leave behind this nasty smear that dries and has to be chipped off, after or if you manage to scrub them off your body after the ride.

Also, a word of warning about the vultures/buzzards- they do like to unload as they take off so if you ride up on them in the middle of the road......

marni

[Chemagne]

omg! I can't stop laughing!

[owlice]

Still more notes to myself...

A year ago, you advised yourself to get sunglasses. You should have listened to yourself! Good that you got some yesterday; please wear them to work today so people don't have to avert their eyes. Thanks. Also, order clear lenses for night riding. Today.

AND... that ride with your mouth closed thing? Yeah. Another good suggestion, especially at dusk past the swamp, ignored. Since it was ignored, might as well ask... where can one look up how many calories little flying evening insects have?

[Biciclista]

OW!!! good thing you have a sense of humor!!

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Yikes!
Funny funny stuff- i love your writing.

But PLEASE get some eye protecting glasses or goggles- REALLY!
I've had trucks shoot pebbles into my eyes while riding too- but they just bounced harmlessly off my goggle-like sunglasses. Bumblebees can hit your face at 30mph and feel like helicopters crashing. Do you want that hitting your eye? :(

As for mouth open- doesn't seem to matter how often I tell myself to shut my yap while biking- 2 seconds later it's open again! :o

[hebe]

Ouch! It's such a shame when learning hurts :(

Lovely writing though, thank you for sharing all of this so that we can learn from your experiences. I hope your eye heals soon.

[goride]

I am sorry - your eye looks so painful. But thank you for sharing your adventure (misadventure) in such a humorous way. There is so much to learn.

[Bike Writer]

Very clever writing but oh your eye looks so bad :( Seriously consider entering the Erma Bombeck humorist contest that is open each year, I forget the time frame but you can google it and your writing style is a winner!