Pet Loss/Bereavement

[Serottarider]

Hi Ladies,

I'm posting in hopes that someone can share their experience with me.

Last night I accidentally ran over one of my beloved cats in our driveway......I just did not see her. I am absolutely beside myself with grief and racked with guilt.....I've been going through all the "what if's".... I know it's not productive and it can't change anything. I know I'm going to get through this, but it's just so painful. Any thoughts or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

A heartbroken Serotta rider

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I'm so sorry. I know there are few words that would make you feel better right now. Time will help.

Perhaps doing something for your local animal shelter in your kitty's name will make it so her death will be a catalyst that helps other kitties in need.

[Tuckervill]

Oh, that's terrible. Yes, time will help. When it gets too hard, can you just give yourself permission to cry it out and feel all the feelings for a time? And after that just do what you can to help the time pass.

I used to know someone who ran over their own child. There's no comparison, but there's really no way around the grief, except through it.

I'm sorry.

Karen

[Trek420]

I am so sorry :(

[HappyTexasMom]

I don't have any advice to add, but I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry. I know how hard it is to lose a pet. They really are like family to us. I know it was a complete accident and I know you know that, too, but I'm sure it still makes it that much harder.

[nancielle]

It makes me sad when I read of someone losing one of their pets. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Here are some links that may be helpful:

http://www.aplb.org/

http://www.pet-loss.net/

http://www.petvets.com/petloss/

[OakLeaf]

(((((((Serottarider)))))))

When my first dog died, I blamed myself for a number of reasons. So I can imagine your pain - so far beyond the "ordinary" devastation of losing a pet without blaming oneself. :(:(

Let yourself grieve. The pain will be long and deep, but you will get through it, to the happy memories of your kitty.

Take good care.

[tctrek]

Be kind to yourself. You know it was an accident and that you really cared for your kitty. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[bmccasland]

I'm so sorry. Remember the good things about your kitty. She'll be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge - there's a special section for the TE friends I'm convinced.

[salsabike]

Ah, Serottarider. I am so sorry. Tctrek is right---this was a total accident. None of us see everything all the time; we do the best we can, and accidents honestly happen. Your kitty was well loved.

[Serottarider]

Thank you all for your kind words and support. It's really helpful during this difficult time.


Sincerely,


Beth

[badger]

Beth, I'm so sorry for the accident and your loss. Like others have said, please be kind to yourself.

When I lost my dog, I made a post much like yours, asking for help in pet berevement. The outpouring of support from people who didn't even know me was surprising and very helpful in working through my grief. I hope you'll find that comfort here as well.

[alpinerabbit]

You can't undo it and all you can assure yourself is, the little soul is not suffering anymore. You will heal.

as for me, I'm inconsolable - my mother's hasn't come back since Thursday. We don't know what happened. Could be dead, suffering quietly somewhere, or even stolen. I can't get the pictures out of my head. It's almost as if losing a baby.

[Selkie]

I'm so very sorry and can't imagine how you're feeling. There's really nothing more that I can add to what others have said so well. Losing a pet is so hard and many of us have been through this deep loss. Sometimes you never get over it and that's OK. Your sweetie will always be in your heart. Her angel will bring her down to visit you...

[Brandi]

Wow I am sooo sorry about that. And yes time does heal. And I have gone through that what is stage too. It doesn't change what happened. It would be great if it did. Try and not beat yourself up over it. Everytime you do just remind yourself it was an accident. ((((((((hug)))))))))

[Tri Girl]

Beth, I'm so sorry for what happened. Don't be too hard on yourself...
Big hugs.

[emily_in_nc]

Oh Beth, my mother did the same thing to one of her cats a couple of years ago. She was horrified, inconsolable, and wracked with guilt. I felt so helpless to do or say anything to ease her suffering. I am so sorry you are having to go through what has to be one of the worst times of your life. My heart goes out to you.

[sundial]

Oh Beth, bless your heart! :( :( Please give yourself time to grieve and work through the guilt and anger. Perhaps planting a beautiful ornamental tree or flowering shrub in your kitty's memory will help heal a broken heart.

When we lose one of our special little friends, they usually send another one along the way at the right time.

[katluvr]

I am so sorry for your loss. This hits me so close to home. I don't have the same guilt of the accident, but having just put my 17 year old cat to sleep on 7/10--I feel the guilt for all the would of, could of, should of's...
It is a terrible loss. I am sure your kitty was well loved. But nothing can change/erase the pain and loss. My heart goes out to you!

[Aggie_Ama]

((Beth)) It isn't the same but when our dog's kidneys failed and ultimately she had to be put to sleep this April I asked if I did enough and blamed myself. Could I have gone to the vet sooner? Should I have been more careful with food/chemicals, etc?

We are planting a mountain laurel this fall for our dog, something to keep on growing and nuturing bees/birds the way Maggie nutured our hearts. You loved the kitty and it knew that, try to focus on that as you work through the pain. ((((HUGS))))

[Photoflygirl]

I'm so sorry you have to go through that. My dad accidently ran over my pet toy fox terrier when I was 7 or 8 years old. Spook was by the fence on the other side of the car, he always chased the car out of the driveway, but usually on the 'open' side of the driveway. Mom called Spook to the front porch, dad stopped the car, then started backing up again because he thought Spook had made it to the porch and the poor thing hadn't. I was devasted, not to mention my dad's feelings. Mom saw the whole thing, I was in the house and ran out and saw Spook. My dad buried him in the back yard and I visited him often. Time will help you heal, words can't make you feel better, really. It just has to happen from the inside out.

[Serottarider]

Thanks ladies for all of the support and words of encouragement during this difficult time. I think the TE community is great.....I'm so glad I found you all!

Sincerely,

Beth