The drowning cow...

[kenyonchris]

So I was on bike patrol the other day, usually when we are on patrol on the bike, we do park checks, ride through neighborhoods, but seldom respond to 911 calls unless we happen to be right there. I have done a few traffic stops on the bike and actually did a DWI from the bike, but as a general rule, we are background officers while on the bike.

So dispatch called me to a call regarding a cow. It seemed that the cow was pretty much submerged in the creek. A citizen driving by saw it and called it in as a cow that had "fallen" in to the creek, she was afraid it might drown. NOW, envision me. On the bike, fully equipped, vest on, gun belt on. Armed with....a bike. HOW am I supposed to solve the drowning cow problem? Well, that is not dispatch's problem...its mine. Since I was close, I was on.
I couldn't resist. As a general rule, we say minimal amounts on the radio...it is public record and anyone with a scanner can hear. But I couldn't help it.
So I came out with the following:

"12-dispatch. Not sure how I can help but I will try to steer him in the right direction."
"12-dispatch. I am on scene and the rancher is not home. I knocked but I don't think he herd me."
"12-dispatch. I have eyes on the cow in question. I think he is just tanning."
"12-dispatch. I have made contact with the rancher. He advises that the cow is genetically disposed to swimming." (he really did advise that...he showed me pics on his phone of the cow in questions mom and dad...swimming)

The dispatchers, generally appalled by me anyway, were not amused. I was told to go back to bike patrol.

And yes, the cow was just doing a hippo routine... it walked out into the creek to cool off. Totally unimpressed with me and my bike, it eventually re-emerged on its own.

[tulip]

Cows do that all the time! Whoever called 911 for that was definitely a city slicker. Very funny post--thanks for the laugh.

[snapdragen]

So, do you have any pictures?:D

[PamNY]

That is funny. I'm glad you got the situation under control. I do wonder about the person who made the call. The cow, probably trying to stay cool, sounds smarter than the caller.

[witeowl]

"12-dispatch. I am on scene and the rancher is not home. I knocked but I don't think he herd me."

I try to not point out typos, and I hope I don't offend, but I love when they reveal the inner workings of our brain and schemas. I'm 99.99% positive that, had you been talking about a chicken, you would not have made this particular typo.

Beyond that, funny story. :)

[Ann G]

I think that the spelling of herd was part of her use of word play, so it was part of the joke. A group of cattle is called a herd, spelled just like that. ;)

[tulip]

"12-dispatch. Not sure how I can help but I will try to steer him in the right direction."

Another good one! :p

[Biciclista]

great story!

They probably thought it was a bunch of bull!

[ivorygorgon]

I think that the spelling of herd was part of her use of word play, so it was part of the joke

As was "steer."

[smilingcat]

too funny. So was it a cow, steer or a bull? You did refer the animal as he so I would assume a steer or a bull and not a cow. ;)

I'm too much of a chicken to get near one. They are soo big.

Dispatch must have some beef with you. They need to lighten up. LOL

[witeowl]

I think that the spelling of herd was part of her use of word play..

Oh, wooooosh! :o I didn't realize it was intentional. So much for my psychological analysis of subconscious slips. Now I even get the tanning.... Sigh.

I feel the need to quote Homer Simpson as I duck out: "Ohhh... a joke... he he... I get jokes."

[Mr. Bloom]

KC:

I woke up as tired and whipped today as I've been in a long time...and you gave me a laugh that kick started my entire day!:D:D:D

[OakLeaf]

:D:D


Pictures of the cow's parents, swimming? :confused::D

[lph]

Hey, that rancher's fond of his animals :p Very sweet.

[kenyonchris]

Glad everyone liked it...and yes, the typos were intentional.

It is calls like this that make for the interesting day. No pics, I will try to be better about using my iphone.

Apparently, after I left yesterday, we had a call about a peacock on a roof. (Yes, we have to respond). The officer got there and confirmed, "yes, there is a peacock on the roof. I'm clear."

The things people call about. It is funny unless we are getting slammed. Then not so much.

[kermit]

So there was alot at steak when the call when out!

[OakLeaf]

You're really milking this one for all it's worth.

[kenyonchris]

Oh, how I wish I had added those to the radio traffic!!
Also, I wish I had told them I was already enroute....having heard about the cow through the bovine.

[snapdragen]

Alright, these bad puns are making my moderator's hat twirl, I should ask to have the lot of you banned.... :rolleyes::D:rolleyes::cool::cool::D

[bmccasland]

Moooving right along.

[kermit]

That's utterly ridiculous!

[snapdragen]

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h181/snapdragen/MsgBoards/picard-facepalm-1.gif

:D:D:D

[Trek420]

Alright, these bad puns are making my moderator's hat twirl, I should ask to have the lot of you banned.... :rolleyes::D:rolleyes::cool::cool::D

Send us to the punitentiary ;)

[kenyonchris]

We really should be more on topic. Jerseys anyone?

[OakLeaf]

We really should be more on topic. Jerseys anyone?

OMG how did it take us so long to get to that one! Good one. :D:D

[beccaB]

I might have been a real heifer if not for the biking. sorry.:p

[Geonz]

Okay, but alot is not a word and it is not a pun. (it was almost voted into the dictionary but didn't make it.) Travesty!! Horrible!! I am shocked and dismayed! Sweet bovinity, I think I shall just have acow!

[snapdragen]

I've got a bike ride for y'all

http://www.wmss.org/holstein/

[wannaduacentury]

So I was on bike patrol the other day, usually when we are on patrol on the bike, we do park checks, ride through neighborhoods, but seldom respond to 911 calls unless we happen to be right there. I have done a few traffic stops on the bike and actually did a DWI from the bike, but as a general rule, we are background officers while on the bike.

So dispatch called me to a call regarding a cow. It seemed that the cow was pretty much submerged in the creek. A citizen driving by saw it and called it in as a cow that had "fallen" in to the creek, she was afraid it might drown. NOW, envision me. On the bike, fully equipped, vest on, gun belt on. Armed with....a bike. HOW am I supposed to solve the drowning cow problem? Well, that is not dispatch's problem...its mine. Since I was close, I was on.
I couldn't resist. As a general rule, we say minimal amounts on the radio...it is public record and anyone with a scanner can hear. But I couldn't help it.
So I came out with the following:

"12-dispatch. Not sure how I can help but I will try to steer him in the right direction."
"12-dispatch. I am on scene and the rancher is not home. I knocked but I don't think he herd me."
"12-dispatch. I have eyes on the cow in question. I think he is just tanning."
"12-dispatch. I have made contact with the rancher. He advises that the cow is genetically disposed to swimming." (he really did advise that...he showed me pics on his phone of the cow in questions mom and dad...swimming)

The dispatchers, generally appalled by me anyway, were not amused. I was told to go back to bike patrol.

And yes, the cow was just doing a hippo routine... it walked out into the creek to cool off. Totally unimpressed with me and my bike, it eventually re-emerged on its own.

Cute story :)

Those dispatchers should enjoy stories/calls like that. In contrast with the serious calls that really do come through. Enjoy a chuckle occasionally(former vol. firewoman here). Jenn

[smilingcat]

I've got a bike ride for y'all

http://www.wmss.org/holstein/


Oooo holstein 100. :( I dumped that ride two or three years ago after only 30 or so miles. I was pretty sick. I would like to go back there and try it again. Love the area, beautiful and REALLY loved the Pointe Reyes blue cheese. I could almost drive all the way up there just for that cheese. ;)

[snapdragen]

Holstein is my favorite, hopefully I'll be riding it next year.

[tctrek]

This thread tickled my funny bone so much that I wrote about it in my dairy last night. I didn't beef up the story at all, just documented the facts. :D:D:D

[snapdragen]

*groan*

[newfsmith]

That's utterly ridiculous!

Surely you meant udderly.

[kermit]

Yeah, I did. I think that one pushed snapdragen over the edge!

[kenyonchris]

This thread tickled my funny bone so much that I wrote about it in my dairy last night. I didn't beef up the story at all, just documented the facts. :D:D:D

Hook! Hook!

[OakLeaf]

Poor Snapdragen is writhing in Angus.

[Aggie_Ama]

Oh lord I go away for the weekend and this becomes pun central. I told DH the story on the way to our camping trip and he started laughing. We then had a very interesting conversation about why cows just poop while walking, no stopping. I guess we have run out of things to talk about and resorted to animal bathroom discussions. :p

[mtbdarby]

I...can't...not...ask.

Was the tanning cow a brown one?

*the question brought to you from the dairy state:)

[PamNY]

I thought of this thread when I got questioned by the cops tonight. I was in the park watching our juvenile red-tailed hawk play with sticks. Turns out someone saw the hawk on the ground flapping his wings, thought he was injured, and called 911.

The cop was really sweet and concerned, and asked me repeatedly if I was sure the hawk could fly okay.

Wanting to do my part to help New York's finest have a nice evening, I tried and tried to think of something funny to say, but failed utterly.

Pam

[kenyonchris]

I thought of this thread when I got questioned by the cops tonight. I was in the park watching our juvenile red-tailed hawk play with sticks. Turns out someone saw the hawk on the ground flapping his wings, thought he was injured, and called 911.

The cop was really sweet and concerned, and asked me repeatedly if I was sure the hawk could fly okay.

Wanting to do my part to help New York's finest have a nice evening, I tried and tried to think of something funny to say, but failed utterly.

Pam

You would be amazed at what people call 911 over. I went yesterday to investigate a duckjacking....someone called and said there was a lady in the park stealing a duck. Turns out she was *releasing* a duck.
It was highway webbery. The city should send her a bill.

[kenyonchris]

I...can't...not...ask.

Was the tanning cow a brown one?

*the question brought to you from the dairy state:)

No, he was black. I imagine he was pretty dang hot. Any hotter, I would have had to investigate a burger-y.

[Duck on Wheels]

I thought of this thread when I got questioned by the cops tonight. I was in the park watching our juvenile red-tailed hawk play with sticks. Turns out someone saw the hawk on the ground flapping his wings, thought he was injured, and called 911.

The cop was really sweet and concerned, and asked me repeatedly if I was sure the hawk could fly okay.

Wanting to do my part to help New York's finest have a nice evening, I tried and tried to think of something funny to say, but failed utterly.

Pam

"Oh yes, officer! He can fly! It's just that he's in a flap about that stick."

[canonsue]

You would be amazed at what people call 911 over. I went yesterday to investigate a duckjacking....someone called and said there was a lady in the park stealing a duck. Turns out she was *releasing* a duck.
It was highway webbery. The city should send her a bill.

What a quackup!:p

[OakLeaf]

Okay, this is just getting fowl.