Feeling so defeated

[laura jane]

Today's ride was a complete bust. I was looking forward to it all week.. a 50 mile charity ride. The course description was 'some hills'. Yeah... hills with absolutely no recovery time before facing another mountain. It was my first hilly ride and I didn't finish... threw in the towel at mile 36 and called for a ride. I have never felt so horribly defeated in my whole life.

I was having chain problems (dropped the chain twice and was having trouble shifting) so the mechanic made a few adjustments and I was good to go. Filled up on food and a cup of coffee at the rest stop and I felt great. I clearly didn't eat enough for breakfast because I started off the ride feeling horrible but after eating at the rest stop, I felt better. Still haven't found that 'happy medium' for eating/hydration.

The next section was good- I felt great about the hills even though it was much more than I expected. Got some speed and covered some distance on the straight aways. Then... I don't know what happened. I totally lost it. I have easily ridden much longer than this, sans hills. I spent the second half of the ride sobbing because I had already mentally given up. Walked up a few hills, tried eating/drinking, took a short break. Tried again. I was done.

I know everyone has their 'bad days'. I just had no idea it feels this awful to give up. My mental game needs a huge overhaul. I hate being a quitter. I don't know if it was all nutrition/hydration related or what, but it just 'wasn't my day' as soon as the ride started and I knew it.

What do you do to stay positive? When I get in a rut, I just start thinking about how much the ride sucks and how big the hill is, how bad my legs hurt, etc etc. I know I gave up on myself mentally far before I quit physically and it feels awful.

[tctrek]

Don't feel defeated!! A 36 mile ride in hilly country is a great experience given that you aren't accustomed to riding hills.

Why not look at it as a learning experience? Maybe you started out too hard.. did you warm up properly? Did you track your heart rate? Were you riding too hard so that you used up your glycogen stores? Were you hydrated... did you drink 20 oz per hour? Were you drinking something with electrolytes and carbs? How many calories did you consume during the ride?

There's lots of reasons why you suddenly bonk on a ride, and it happens to everyone. Even professional riders bonk if they don't eat, hydrate, etc.

So examine the ride and figure out what you could do differently next time.

That was a great accomplishment!!

[andtckrtoo]

Oh, man! Hills can take a lot out of you! Don't feel bad at all. I'm impressed you could ride 36 miles of them if you haven't ridden them before.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I think getting through a 36 mile very hilly ride is something to be proud and happy about.
If I have a lousy ride I just figure it was good to be outside and getting some good exercise if nothing else. hills make me stronger...even if I'm walking up them. ;)

Sort of like the old "Is the glass half full or half empty?".

[TrekTheKaty]

No worries. You'll get 'em next time. Mechanicals are a bummer-that probably threw you off. I thought I conquered all the hills around my house--but my DH found two new ones today. I walked twice--It gives me new goals. I'll make it farther next time :) Chin up :)

[bluebug32]

Looking back you were able to identify all of the things that you might have done differently to effect the outcome of the ride. That's great! What a wonderful realization and learning experience. Next time you'll know to eat more, etc. Biking is about constantly learning and making little tweaks. Mentally it's hard for anyone to stay in the game if you're bonking because your brain is fueled by glucose, which you weren't getting enough of. Good luck and keep plugging away. You'll get there!

[Miranda]

It's defeat only if you let it be. So many things to learn from it.

I did my hilliest and close to longest single ride I have done just today. Not to be a blow hard in any way, but it actually went well. The only way it did was with a lot of preparation and planning. I do not like surprises. In biking. And in life in general. Generally... I like a 'plan'. I need time to think about things. To visualize what's gonna happen.

I know this is a bit OTT, but for my ride today... I drove most of the course before. This was after having some of my guy ride pals completely freak me out on "... on man, those are some hills up in that area... yea, real lung burners... one right after another like roller coasters blah blah blah...".

When I would ask... ":confused:uumm, ok, 'qualify' please... % of grade? total grade? short and steep? What??? ". Nothing specific. Just the "oh my, the horror... arggg" drama.

Once I knew exactly how hilly the course was, I compared it to the only "one" hill I had ridden out that far. I knew if I could climb it... then the rest would be do-able too. My new ride pal I took out there said (on that same hill).... "omg! Miranda! What are you trying to do??? Kill me???". After we climbed it, she said... "hmm, not so bad... looked worse than it was... this would make a great training repeat interval...". Bingo:cool:.

Eating and drinking is big time important. It's not exactly what you eat just that morning for breakfast either. Try to plan (again, my neurotic planning theme) days before. Hydrate, hydrate... load up good stuff. Plan your energy with other activities, sleep, etc.

And be patient. Don't give up. Today I really really really wanted to just hammer out the last few miles of the whole course. However, I don't currently know where to re-fill for more H2O. That's a deal breaker until I do. BUT... I followed some very good training advice here on TE (which I did not starting out)... I planned to add on gradually. I was a bit sore and tired... but NOT totally spent. I felt good enough to ride more. But stopped just short of that point.

That last part is a really fine line to learn. But a really good lesson.

:)Chip up GF... you pick just "one" of those bad azz hills that got you... and go ride the living he$$ outta it on repeats like an interval. Until the hill is dead. And you are not. Then, any sibling of the hill... it's cake;).

[Possegal]

My sister and her family are in Philly and I ride a lot with them - I've ridden some of the hills in the counties around there, and there are some really challenging ones. And I say this as a native of Pittsburgh, with all her glorious hills. If you haven't been riding hilly courses, you picked a tough place to start. :) Given that, I think you did OUTSTANDING and you should try and be pleased with what you did accomplish and not belabor what you didn't. Now you have a new goal to go for, nothing wrong with that.

Don't beat yourself up, you did better than you think you did!!!

[Zen]

http://www.goal-setting-guide.com/overcoming-fear-of-failure.html

[jobob]

Yikes, a 50-mile hilly ride is a lot to expect from yourself if you're not accustomed to hilly rides! So cut yourself some slack. :cool:

Really, you might read about a lot of us (well, me in past tense) doing long hilly rides, but we all needed to build up to them.

So please don't feel defeated.

[laura jane]

Thank you ladies. I did learn from this that I need to prepare myself as much as possible for the ride. Which means driving the course (if possible) so I don't suddenly stumble upon 'the Alps'. And I did learn a good bit from the mechanic when I needed some adjustments, which made my riding easier. I've decided I need to do a lot more reading about nutrition and also learned I hugely underestimated the amount of food I need to keep myself functioning on a ride.

[surgtech1956]

36 miles and hilly - that is something to be proud of. Think of it as a learning experience - eat more before, etc.... I agree - cut yourself some slack.

[NoNo]

I had the same feeling last week when I couldn't complete my first century. Don't feel bad, think about what you did well and what you learned about your nutrition needs. Soon the disappointment will turn to anger to be used to try again. I applaud your 36 hilly miles, I hate hills!

[Photoflygirl]

I try to look at 'defeats' as opportunities to be better in some way. I was feeling really lousy (physically and mentally) after riding only 5 miles with slight inclines. Then I was diagnosed with exercise-induced-asthma and now feel more accomplished because I have the correct medicine that helps me feel better after a ride. And I am praying that it is temporary and will go away with further conditioning. Life is an exercise in learning, don't let the speed bumps keep you down. :)

[Biciclista]

not just drive the course, but RIDE similar rides. maybe not 50 miles, but be sure you can do 40 miles of hilly rides before you agree to a ride like this!
That's a tough ride you did. be proud, and next time be more prepared.

[hipmama]

I've been exactly there before, and the feeling of defeat is huge but is sounds like you learned from it, which is key.
When I've had rides like that I've made sure I get out within the next couple of days for a route that I know I can take on and give myself a success ride to remind myself why I love cycling and to remind myself that I CAN do it.
I was defeated at a ride like that a few months ago and was going back to the same town for TDC and was a little worked up about being able to get through it. I got myself a good riding partner, made sure I ate and drank throughout the ride, and stayed positive. I rocked the ride have a lot more confidence now.
Sometimes it's the day, sometimes it's mechanics, weather, lack of food, lack of support- all of these things can knock you down. You rock for getting 36 miles in those hills!

[laura jane]

Thank you ladies. I have made a 'date' with myself to go back and kill those hills. I am not going to let this get me down! I don't know what it was about Sunday, but I was just out of sorts. Not like me at all. I guess it happens!