Grad School Gloom???

[polly4711]

Hello,

I need a little bit of support from you all.... I'm in my first semester of graduate school (for Mechanical engineering). I love my professor that I work under..... so it's not that... but I am just not happy. I'm not one to just quit, but I dont know what I want to do elsewise...... Any advise? Did any of you all go through this at any time?

JP

[tulip]

Hi Polly,
Gloomy in your first semester, eh? Well, I recommend going to see someone at the student counseling center. They can help you figure out the reasons for your gloom (we can't do that). I hope you feel better soon. -tulip

[jobob]

Been there.

Why are you unhappy? Is it the curriculum, the workload, the hours? The delightful graduate student lifestyle? :rolleyes: Do you feel as if you might not belong there (or do you feel as though others might think you don't belong there)?

How long is your program? And do you think the ends justify the means?

Best wishes to you.

[sundial]

First off, congratulations on your acceptance into grad school. :) I have a healthy respect for engineering types. :cool:

Could it be that you are overwhelmed because you haven't acclimated to the demands of the first semester yet? Are you not getting enough feedback or direction from your major professor?

What is your gut telling you? In your heart of hearts do you enjoy engineering?

Are you possibly experiencing seasonal affective disorder? Hormonal imbalance? If you are on the pill and have changed formulas lately, that may affect your cognitive abilities as well as your emotional health.

I would suggest you make an appointment with the counseling center and talk it over with your counselor about your difficulties. Maybe through redirection in your thinking you might put things into a different perspective that will allow you to embrace your career goals.

Good luck and please keep us posted on your plans. :)

[polly4711]

Thank you all for your support.... I've talked with multiple professors about their experience with grad school.... and several of them had a tough time. It's a different kind of thinking, and I guess I just need to learn how to do it.

I used to go to counceling, and I would love to again, but I really jsut dont have enough time. I think that is one of my problems is just not enough time to breathe!!! I have ended up being over involved, but hopefully some of it will go away soon. I also think that in addition I am unhappy because I'm not quite sure what I want to do with my life. Rather than going out to the real world (I can't even tell you where I would even begin to apply) I have decided to go to graduate school. I love doing research, and the curiosity... I think that I just need to wait until some (especailly one) of my classes are finished.

Another problem is that I've rarely had a strong passion for something.... the first that really came along in my life was cycling. It's the best feeling ever (as long as I'm not a chicken about exploring new places). I love making people happy, not in the people pleaser way, but in the helpful way. (Does that make sense?) I think that I just need to get through this and time will tell. It has usually been pretty nice to me of leading me the right way.

Any other pieces of smarts or your experience with struggling to find your career?

Thank you all for your love!!!!!

[Miranda]

Yea... it can be tough times in many ways. But, an accomplishment you will keep for life. I was getting my MBA pt, working ft many hours, and prego with DD at graduation. Some nights it was all I could do to find the energy to cry myself to sleep. Somehow though, I survived.

If you mean counseling for you, my campus offered that service for free for students. I used it myself. They were shrinks studying to be. But bound by same confidentiality and cases overseen by real shrink/teacher. Even if you couldn't go every week--a little bit might help. Perhaps you could talk the shrink into riding a tandem and talk at same time? Multi-task! lol, just kiddin ya... hope THAT at least made you chuckle;). I'd be game for it:D.

OK... on the "is this what I want to REALLY do with my life???"... Well, one suggestion is to spend some time with a professional that has a job leading from your degree. Maybe there is something else that might come up as a tangent?

In regards to your comment about: "I want to help people, but not in a people-pleasing way"... it makes sense to me. My background is in healthcare. One of my last jobs was at a medical lab. RNs like to help people by first hand pa care. Med techs like to 'help people' behind the scenes... when you ask them why they chose to be a med tech, many will say "because I didn't want to have to talk to the patient face to face!". Different sets of 'people helping mindset & skills'. The pathologists help people/mankind... but their patients are dead (no talking back).

Does the depatment have an alumni group? Maybe you could track those peeps down too?

Good Luck:)

[firenze11]

I think that is one of my problems is just not enough time to breathe!!! I have ended up being over involved, but hopefully some of it will go away soon. I also think that in addition I am unhappy because I'm not quite sure what I want to do with my life. Rather than going out to the real world (I can't even tell you where I would even begin to apply) I have decided to go to graduate school. I love doing research, and the curiosity... I think that I just need to wait until some (especailly one) of my classes are finished.

Wow, I feel like I could have written most of your post, especially this part. I'm going through the grad school gloom, too. I think a major part of it stems from losing basically all of my personal time and work/life balance to school. I'm a perfectionist (but who isn't, right?) and it's really really hard for me to accept that I can't do everything perfectly the first time all the time so I work, work, work, work work and lose perspective that there's more to life than grades.

I also am unsure about what I want to do when I graduate. I'm doing history, so I get the question all the time. . ."what are you going to do with a history degree" and I think it's worn me down. And after this year, I need to get out of history for awhile. I also love research and have that driving curiosity so I thought grad school was ideal for me.

Anyway, I guess I'm not very helpful with advice, but know that you're not the only one going through it right now. My roommate is also in engineering and she's been asking herself why she decided to put herself through grad school, too. I'm personally trying let go a little bit and try not to put so much pressure on myself. I know I will be so proud of myself once I get my degree.

Good luck with everything!

[tulip]

By the time I got to grad school I knew what I wanted to do, but it took me a while (5 years) in between undergrad and grad to figure that out. In college I had no idea, so I guess you could say it took me 10 years (5 of college and 5 of working before grad school) to figure it out.

In many ways, I wish I'd gone really with what I had a passion about, namely vegetable gardens and bicycling. I did get a masters in landscape architecture and another in city planning, but my thesi were not focused on these two passions. They could have been, easily, in my field, but I chose what I though were more acceptable and mainstream topics.

There's the old classic, What Color Is Your Parachute, that is really good. I also found the Myers-Briggs helpful in figuring out how I best work (not what to do, but how to work within my natural way).

I totally understand how you feel overwhelmed. Even now, I have to say no to projects and activities because otherwise I just drown in them! You CAN say no to activities. In fact, it's probably a good idea to say no because then you can do whatever you do better, as opposed to spreading yourself too thin and not doing anything well.

Don't forget to take care of yourself. You can't take care of business if you don't take care of yourself.

[shootingstar]

I recall in the last month of grad school (I did my master's in library science), over 50% of the class was sick but still churning out their papers and seminars..and it was a hot August, that final month.

My undergrad is in English lit., so library science which requires mandatory courses in statistical analysis and a few other technical subjects, really meant I had to rewire my right-hand leaning brain. With the first job I had, for the first 4 months, my head literally ached. I think I had to get my brain seriously realigned and disciplined to undertake systems analysis, configure software and design databases.

But the career choice has given back to me alot.

By the way, polly, have you ever considered biomedical engineering or biomechanical engineering might be a more accurate term? I was a medical librarian in a rehabilitation hospital for the physical disabled. There were several specialized facilities where we worked. At the pediatric rehabiltitative care hospital beside ours, the hospital had a biomechanical engineering department that did design and research on artificial limbs, different types of wheelchairs for different disabilities, other mobility aids.. It would be a terrific way of applying mechanical engineering (and probably electrical engineering concepts) to greatly improve quality of life for others. I understand this line of engineering, does minimally draw engineering students at the master's level.

I also worked as a librarian in a fire protection library for almost a decade. We had 10 fire protection engineers, which drew engineers from: civil, mechanical, electrical and chemical engineering disciplines...funnelled towards fire protection engineering design and life safety. There is no question, the tangible result for the engineers in helping others in fire and life safety.

Just hope you get hired by organizations that have an organizational mandate to help others. (Construction engineering companies aren't quite like that...I just finished a job for one.)

[shootingstar]

Just as an example of equipment design & examples which requires teamwork with physicians, occupational therapists, physiotherapsits and engineers: http://www.acpoc.org/search/?qu=macmillan

The world is full of possibilities, we only knew!!

[Flybye]

+1 on career testing and seeing a counselor on campus. Myers Briggs is fantastic and very valid. I took the exam because it was required for a course (I am a Masters Student in the Counseling program) for career counseling. I was amazed at the validity of the test. It nailed down what I am passionate about to a "T". Very confirming for me. And at most universities it is free.

[Cataboo]

How long is your program? A 2 year or a 4-6 year type program?

The first semester can be tough with the course work, and graduate programs tend to be an adjustment in your method of thinking - if you've been able to get by with just memorizing stuff previously, grad school can be a bit of a shock.

I agree with everyone's suggestions of consulting other professors and the rest of that... and I think what got me through grad school was having a professor that I worked really well with & a project that I truly enjoyed, was passionate about, and LOVED. I'm currently doing a post-doc that's meh... and I hate it and pretty much want to do any other career than this now. But I just need to find a lab that's a better fit, or get a better attitude.

But if you're truly not sure that this is what you want to do... Leaving after the first semester is really not a terrible thing. You tried it, it wasn't for you, and you didn't waste any more time or resources on it. I knew people that 4th year into grad school decided that they'd made a terrible mistake and this wasn't what they wanted to do with their life at all... They pretty much restructured and went into science policy or lobbying - but it really wasn't something they needed a phD for.

[Crankin]

Just a thought, about possible careers. My husband is in charge of over 200 engineers who are "application" engineers. That is, they actually work with customers who are thinking about buying the company's software. They come from all areas of engineering; they have to be technically competent, but having good social skills is a very important part of this job. You don't need a grad degree to get the job, but most of them have one; many have Phds. It is actually very hard for my husband to find people qualified for this job. They either don't have the people/presentation skills or there's some personality issues that make them better candidates for being developers. For example, the people with mechanical engineering degrees work with customers who need the software for that kind of product, such as the auto or aerospace industry.
I second the suggestion about going to the counseling center. It's free. You can make the time for 50 minutes, once a week.
I am in grad school, too. This is my second master's so I have a totally different attitude. I need the degree to do the job I want and I am not working, which makes a huge difference. Last time, I went pt at night and in the summer to get my MA in Ed. I was lazy and took my time, to reduce the stress. Then, I was in a PhD program for a year, but I just couldn't do it. I totally understand what you are going through. My choice to quit at that time was absolutely the right one for me; I focused on my job and having a family. But, it sounds like you just need some guidance as to possibilities for the future.

[tribogota]

I don't have much advice, but lots of commiseration. I tried to drop out every single semester during the first 3 and half years of grad school, then during the dissertation, well, got that far, might as well finish. But 10 years later it has paid off, now I can do triathlon training fairly intensely cause I can organize my own class hours and student hours and research hours, unlike most of the working world, and THAT COUNTS for an athlete. While training for my first tri I kept telling myself that if I could write a dissertation, I could certainly do this, and during the "book" stage, I kept telling myself that if I could do a triathlon, well I could finish the book.

[woohoo]

Hey there, you've had lots of good advice from the others here, but I just wanted to chip in to reassure you that there is light at the end of the grad school tunnel. I'm a mechanical engineer too, and had a pretty up and down time in grad school - I think most people do. If you like your prof that's a great start, as it's often possible for them to help you refocus a project on things you're interested in. For what it's worth I now work as a rehabilitation engineer (totally different subject to my PhD) and think it's brilliant - so there are fun jobs out there, and it's well worth persevering at grad school to get there! Best of luck, Lynne.

[NbyNW]

One thing to consider is that while you might know what you want to do, you might not be in the best place to achieve that.

I changed schools twice on the way to my graduate degree -- was miserable at my first school (but I learned a lot, so it wasn't a complete waste), then followed DH for geographical reasons to a school that could only offer me a second bachelor's degree, then moved again for DH's career to Seattle, where the department was a MUCH better fit for me.

A few people along the way tried to convince me that I might consider changing directions. The were only partially right.

Be true to yourself, and surround yourself with a strong support network!

[polly4711]

Thank you for the overwhelming support!!! This is why I love TE!!!

This last week has been quite the contrast of the previous week. I was able to focus more of my time on the research and was reminded of the hard work is worth it. My professor and I were joking around and he made the comment that I am not going to take any more of the thermal sciences (the classes that kill me)! which is fantastic. He is going to try to petition my degree plan so that I can take classes that are more relevant to my interests!

Thank you all for everything! I will remember your words of advice during my next slump (I'm sure that it will come around sometime)