salsabike
02-15-2009, 05:46 PM
Something Bruno sent me reminded me of this old favorite. For anyone who could use some amusement tonight. I think my fave is number 2, although I'm pretty fond of 5, too.
"10 Words That Don't Exist, But Should"
>>
>> 1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn
>> the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
>>
>> 2. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming,
>> of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times,
>> reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back
>> down to give the vacuum one more chance.
>>
>> 3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of confection
>> (lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will
>> somehow 'remove' all the germs.
>>
>> 4. ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for
>> one armrest in a movie theater.
>>
>> 5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept
>> onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he
>> finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
>>
>> 6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling
>> the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to
>> resort to the 'illegal' side.
>>
>> 7. PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose
>> sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want
>> fresh ground pepper.
>>
>> 8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone
>> number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
>>
>> 9. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog
>> presses its nose to it.
>>
>> 10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always
>> letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even
>> when you're only six inches away.
"10 Words That Don't Exist, But Should"
>>
>> 1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn
>> the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
>>
>> 2. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming,
>> of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times,
>> reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back
>> down to give the vacuum one more chance.
>>
>> 3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of confection
>> (lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will
>> somehow 'remove' all the germs.
>>
>> 4. ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for
>> one armrest in a movie theater.
>>
>> 5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept
>> onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he
>> finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
>>
>> 6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling
>> the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to
>> resort to the 'illegal' side.
>>
>> 7. PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose
>> sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want
>> fresh ground pepper.
>>
>> 8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone
>> number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
>>
>> 9. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog
>> presses its nose to it.
>>
>> 10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always
>> letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even
>> when you're only six inches away.