Very frustrated and sad (longish)

[GraysonKelly]

Hi all,
As I said in the title I'm very frustrated. I love riding my bike. Period. I love it. And I am extremely excited about doing the Lifecycle Ride in 2010. But quite frankly...I'm lost. I do not understand one word in 5 that is said here regarding most things. I don't really have the money to spend on apparel and accessories (I still don't have bike shorts or jerseys or anything except and helmet and gloves). I feel like such a hick. In warm weather, I rode in cargo shorts and sweat wicking t-shirts. when it started to get colder I rode in sweat pants and long sleeved Cuddle duds. The cleats I have are broken and won't fit into my pedals anymore and I don't even know where to begin picking a new pair. I want to get into mountain biking this spring and summer but finding people to go with who can teach me has proven futile. I am just going to go out and do it myself and hope that I don't get hurt too badly.
All of the advice on here that I have gotten has been invaluable to me (once I figure out what ya'll are telling me) and the support has been great. I just feel frustrated because I just ride. I know that technically it is crazy that I was riding 30 to 40 miles a day in sweat pants or cargo shorts with no chamois or anything but it worked. I know that this is just my insecurity talking. You all have been wonderful.
I'm sorry that I'm whining. And I know that eventually this will all click into place. I was telling my mom about some of my frustrations and she reminded me of when I first learned to ride a bike. She said that I got so frustrated that I threw the bike down in the middle of the street and cried because I just "couldn't do it". Then 15 minutes later she looked out the window and there I was riding that bike like I'd been doing it for years. I know I'll start to understand more and that eventually I'll pick up necessities along the way. I just don't want to look stupid or something like that when I show up in CA next summer. I know that's a really superficial worry, because that ride will be more about my ability than anything else.
I'm sorry for babbling on about this. I just want you all to know that I appreciate all your help and I'm trying. I just want to say that out loud (or in this case in a post) because I feel that you all understand.
Have a great day every one,
Gray

[OakLeaf]

In 1982 after being laid off from my job, I bought a set of racks and panniers and set out alone on my first tour. Gym shorts, cotton underwear, floppy sneakers, no helmet, no gloves, liquid soap and liquid cherry juice concentrate in a glass bottle. :p That was 60-80 miles most days. Did I mention the tensioned leather saddle that had been ridden in the rain so often that the seatpost stuck right up through the middle of it? :eek: It was on that tour, one night at a campground, that I met a couple of cycle tourists with all the gear. So I totally get what you mean about feeling like a hick. Oh, boy, did I. It didn't help that these were a couple of Canadians whose speech was so precise that I felt like I had a mouthful of cotton balls when we talked. :rolleyes:

The next day, I rolled into the nearest town, begged the LBS to take an out-of-town check, and bought my first helmet. Safety seemed like a pretty darn good idea. But it was years and thousands of miles before I had a pair of cycling shorts.

You're fine Gray. You're beyond fine, you're a valuable, participating member of this community. You RIDE. The rest is just details.

And, you're planning on riding for a GREAT CAUSE! Hint: some of the costumes people wear on charity rides are hardly high performance cycling gear. :cool:



(Just to address what you said about your cleats, you can buy them separately from the pedals for $20-30. Depending on what system you have, you probably only have one choice of cleats. Even if you have multiple choices, if the ones you had were working for you, just get the same ones for now.)

[hirakukibou]

Hi Grey,
You are doing the most important thing: Riding. Do what works for you. I know it is hard when others are talking and you are not following -- I had that experience recently at a club event when folks were talking about their powertaps and coaches and all, I felt like I don't have money for any of that stuff and can't follow what they were saying. But what I realized is that I don't need that to ride and train and do my best and it helps if I don't compare myself to others (albeit hard at times). I am glad you are here and posting.
Cheers,
Hirakukibou

[lph]

Oh come on, you're the BOMB riding 30 to 40 miles a day! That's all that counts, that you like to ride your bike and get out there and do it!

I rode "alone" i.e. no club, mostly commuting for many years, and just did things my own way. Whatever worked, whatever I could afford. I was a bit shocked to discover the "style police" once I started hobnobbing with club riders, for the first time I found out there's a way you're "supposed" to do a lot of things. Ten to one I'd been doing them "wrong". Now some things are smart to know - it helps to *know* about chamois and wicking clothing if you're uncomfortable on a bike, but a lot of it is just techie talk and has very little to do with riding. A lot of cyclists love fixing up their bikes with all the matching doodads. A lot of them looove having the perfect bike clothing for any weather and any temperature (I'm one of those ;)) Others will spend a fortune for The Most Perfect lighting system. Others get a kick out of doing all their own wrenching. But it's just details, and none of this will necessarily make you a faster or safer or better rider. It's just spillover, obsessing about certain things to do with biking.

As a student I rode for years in soft worn out sneakers on platform pedals, all winter too with thick wool socks inside. Worked beautifully. I have a spanking new Jett saddle on my road bike, but still have the original hammocky saddle on my 10 yr old commuter. It's fine. My dh commuted an hour and a half every day in hacked off jeans. He has skinny legs but he's really wiry and strong, and he got a huge kick out of dropping the lycra-clad commuterboyz.

I swear, you're just as much or more of a cyclist as anyone else here! FWIW, I think the mtb crowd seem to be a little less gearfocused than the roadies.

ps. post a photo of your cleats and I'm sure somebody can tell yopu what kind they are and where to get new ones, if you'd rather not go to the lbs.

[Tri Girl]

I'm sorry you feel so sad and frustrated. When I first started riding, I joined a club ride. They made me feel like an idiot (you don't have this or that???). I joined a triathlon club and they made me feel like family. Total strangers taught me all I needed to know and listened to my endless questions. I think it's a matter of finding a group that makes you feel comfortable.
Now I'm going the opposite way. I have all the "right" gear and I just bought a touring bike. I haven't ridden my "fast" time trial bike in months. I want to ride my heavy touring bike in sandals and cargo shorts (with a little padding underneath). My bike is nerdy: I have fenders, racks, lights, etc. I don't care. Now I want to ride my bike because I want to and I don't give a hoot what anyone thinks about me or my set up. I put on the "right" gear for races and such (because it's comfy and aerodynamic and all), but when it's just me out there I look like a dork and I LOVE it.. :)
So long as you're happy- nothing else should matter. You go ride and have fun and to heck with what anyone else says. And no offense to anyone, but the club rides around here with the "real roadies" make me so uncomfortable. They are snobby and have never made me feel welcome. I just go it alone or with my tri club peeps. Again- it's whatever makes me happy. ;)

[PamNY]

Grayson, do not even think about gear/clothing except for safety. Where I live (Manhattan) most bikers I see are not riding for sport. They are commuting or working as delivery/messenger bikers. Virtually NONE of them wear "proper" stuff. It just ISN"T done.

The spandex getup for biking elicits howls of laughter from LOTS of people. Honestly, I would shave my head before I would walk through my apartment building lobby in full Biking Regalia.

Being seriously cool on a bike means cutting one pants leg off with scissors (and you don't hem it -- gotta be ragged). Alternatively, you narrow your pants leg with a big safety pin. To carry stuff on a bike, you can strap one a milk crate or a large plastic bucket.

It is NOT "crazy" to wear sweats and Cuddl Duds. I LOVE Cuddl Duds. Cotton isn't practical for wicking, but otherwise, it's fine.

People get "into" gear for all kinds of reasons. Some of it is practical, some simply fun, some is silly snobbery. Over time, you will decide what YOU need, and you will acquire it. In the meantime, stick to your very admirable goals and have fun.

Pam

[sfa]

Hey, you do what works for you! There's no "right" way of doing any of this. You love riding your bike and you're going some nice long distances, so who cares what you're wearing or how you're learning? Besides, given the story you told about learning to ride as a kid, it seems like you learn best when you're teaching yourself and learning through trial and error (although I don't recommend throwing down the bike this time around).

In 1990 on a complete whim I decided to take a year and cycle around Europe. I hadn't been on a bike since probably 1985 or so and I knew precisely nothing about touring (and didn't even have the internet to teach me anything quickly). So I went to a bike shop, lucked out and got a good touring bike, stuffed my panniers with shorts and freebie cotton t-shirts and cheap socks from K-Mart and I left. I wore those clothes most of the year (switching to jeans and a sweatshirt when the weather got cold). I cycled in whatever kind of shoes I had (I think it was a pair of Tretorn sneakers and some LL Bean boat shoes). I had one water bottle. I couldn't afford better and even if I could have I wouldn't have known that better was available. I probably covered 8,000 miles dressed like that and lived to tell the tale (and what's more, when people ask to hear the tale they never ask what I was wearing). I laugh at myself now--I can't go to the gym and run on the treadmill without carrying a bag that's bigger than what I had for that whole year and wearing clothes that are so technical that they interrupt electronic signals. OK, I'm exaggerating. But I'm not having any more fun now than I did back in 1990, and I'm certainly not any faster or stronger. The only regret I have is that now that I can afford good cycling clothes I no longer look good in them. I would have looked awesome in spandex when I was 21. Aging sucks.

Sarah

[Trek420]

Gray, you're fine. Keep riding, keep reading, keep asking. Everything I know about cycling I learned here (except what I learned from my LBS and KnottedYet). I could not have done ALC 4 times* or even once without this board.

One day you'll look out and "oh, it all makes sense! bike fit, cadence, the etherial elusive saddle/shorts relationship, it all makes sense to me now!" :)

I hope to see you in 2010 :cool:

*not including crewing, which was harder than riding.

[SheFly]

Great advice here already, so my only contribution is - just ride.

I've commented in another thread somewhere that people shouldn't get caught up in labels (beginner, expert, etc.). If you love to ride - who cares what anyone else thinks. It's YOUR passion. Do what works for you.

Remember - just ride!

SheFly

[Biciclista]

well, you have the two things I would give you cr@p about; a helmet and gloves. All the rest is just convenience. I ride a lot in jeans, I don't mind the lack of padding. I wouldnt do that for a long ride, but I rode to work over 100 times last year and never wore bike shorts one way.

Enjoy, keep riding. and take your shoes to a bike shop and ask them to replace your cleats. Take your bike too, just in case it's the pedals.

[indigoiis]

I was daydreaming about doing the Ride Across America at some future point, and my DH asked me what I'd call our team. I said,

"The Salvation Army Sweaters"

...because that is precisely what I/we wear when riding in cold weather. Most of my spandex came from extremely discounted sales or from folks here on TE. Salvation Army thrift shop provided me with Underarmor shirt and tights, some long-sleeved polyester tops, and a couple of windbreakers.

One thing I will spend my money on, and encourage you to if you can swing it - and that is proper cleats or any bike parts. My rationale is, this bike needs to take me places including commuting 2-3 times per week. If I were relying 100% on my truck, I wouldn't think twice about getting a monthly oil change and taking it in for yearly maintenance, right? Often totalling over $1000.00 a year. Well, if you are using your bike for transport, you would be spending far less to keep your bike in tip-top shape.

If you don't know the terminology, GOOGLE it. Learn it. Read and post. You'll get it. Don't feel sad & left out. That is precisely the kind of thinking that could be the rationale for not doing your dream ride. Don't let turkey thoughts get you down.

Keep riding and stop worrying!
;) Indy

[Biciclista]

I was daydreaming about doing the Ride Across America at some future point, and my DH asked me what I'd call our team. I said,

"The Salvation Army Sweaters"


Keep riding and stop worrying!
;) Indy

Hey, me too! I buy them a little large, wash 'em and wear 'em. They tighten up nicely and are warm under my other stuff.

[Jolt]

Grayson, do not even think about gear/clothing except for safety. Where I live (Manhattan) most bikers I see are not riding for sport. They are commuting or working as delivery/messenger bikers. Virtually NONE of them wear "proper" stuff. It just ISN"T done.

The spandex getup for biking elicits howls of laughter from LOTS of people. Honestly, I would shave my head before I would walk through my apartment building lobby in full Biking Regalia.

Being seriously cool on a bike means cutting one pants leg off with scissors (and you don't hem it -- gotta be ragged). Alternatively, you narrow your pants leg with a big safety pin. To carry stuff on a bike, you can strap one a milk crate or a large plastic bucket.

It is NOT "crazy" to wear sweats and Cuddl Duds. I LOVE Cuddl Duds. Cotton isn't practical for wicking, but otherwise, it's fine.

People get "into" gear for all kinds of reasons. Some of it is practical, some simply fun, some is silly snobbery. Over time, you will decide what YOU need, and you will acquire it. In the meantime, stick to your very admirable goals and have fun.

Pam

What she said. FWIW, I don't understand a lot of the stuff people talk about on here either. I ride a hybrid that I got secondhand off Craigslist, use platform pedals and wear sneakers or sandals, don't own a pair of cycling shorts or a jersey, and have a big red plastic crate on the back of the bike to carry stuff (see avatar--pic was taken after a grocery run). The helmet and gloves, along with a yellow reflective vest, are the only specialized things I wear on the bike. This works for me, because I use my bike mainly for errands with the occasional "just for fun" ride. You don't need all the fancy gear to ride and enjoy it, and don't let people tell you that you do!

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

If you ride 30 to 40 miles a day, then I would wager you have a LOT of biking skill by now! So when you show up for this ride you are nervous about, it won't matter what you are wearing or not wearing or how your bike is different from others' bikes....what WILL matter is that you know your bike inside out and are incredibly agile and comfortable on it and you've got the MILEAGE under your belt to prove your worth! That's worth way more than dumb fancy biking duds. :D
You'll probably be the coolest rider there.

[Blueberry]

I have a friend who (in a nice way) pokes fun at me every time he sees me in biking garb. He and his partner ride everywhere. They have one car, and barely use it. He's done lots of long rides, just bought a Rivendell Atlantis (drool), and you know what - I don't think he owns a pair of bike shorts. And I know for sure there are no clipless pedals at his house or bike jerseys. All of his bikes have kickstands too:) But he RIDES. That's what matters. Get on your bike - in whatever is comfortable for you - and enjoy it! Who cares what others think??? You have the bike, and what you need for safety. The rest is just personal preference:)

CA

PS - I can virtually guarantee that you won't be the "least technical" one on your big ride. On the MS ride year before last, there was a guy on a bent with no biking garb and crocs. He had a basket (with flowers on it) on the front of his bike, and a little boom box. Guess who everyone wanted to ride near??

[Zen]

I'm surprised no one mentioned Sheldon (http://www.sheldonbrown.com/)

[Karma007]

I showed up for my first group road ride with my Target mtb (chunky tires and all), t-shirt and converse! I'll admit to being a little intimidated, but the group was friendly and pointed out how much harder I was working than they were, to push my bike at the same speed. If you love to ride, ride!

[Grog]

There's this dude I've seen a few times on the road in Quebec, including on a week-long bike tour.

Old mountain bike with a wire basket in the front with his little dog in it, wearing cut-off jeans and a usually-unbuttoned shirt.

A really, really strong rider.

Turns out he's a former pro-cyclist and the trainer of other pro-cyclists. But he also just likes to ride. (I guess riding spandex-free changes his frame of mind.)

Just ride and have fun. Do whatever it takes to have fun, be safe, and feel comfortable. And if you feel like you're wearing the "wrong" thing, remember that even the pros do it.

[Biciclista]

And then there's Kent Peterson (http://kentsbike.blogspot.com/)

He wears hiking boots when he rides and wears street clothes and he's really cool. (Sort of a Sheldon Brown type)

[ClockworkOrange]

Hey, as you guys would say "Gray, you really rock girl", that is some mileage you do!

I cannot afford to buy all the fancy named clothing or accessories but I love what I have. I'll let you into a little secret, I seem to spend more time looking up various things on the internet, cos I have never heard of them, now what's all this chamois stuff about??? :D That's what I use to clean the windows. :eek:

My gorgeous faithfully Orange Clockwork bike is 10 years old this year and it was second hand then.

My happy days of riding apparel use to be a sleeveless vest top, shorts and flip flops, and no helmet! However, after coming on this site it has taught me not to be a numpty and to wear a helmet.

If I cycled about in all the proper stuff, I would really stick out like a sore thumb. For me, I love cycling alone, perhaps if I was younger I might have joined a club, otherwise it is just myself and my partner.

I guess my motto is "I DON'T CARE", I just ride in a mish mash of clothes and love every minute of it.

Finally, Gray you have a lot of supporters out there and I so admired what you wrote.

Hope the training goes well for the Lifecycle Ride in 2010.

Clock

[solobiker]

Sorry you feel this way. All that matters is that you ride and enjoy yourself. You don't need the fancy jersey or shorts to ride your bike. I used to ride with someone who would always pick on me because my shirt/jersey did not match my gloves or my helmet. Give me a break..I don't care if they don't match. From my name you can probably assume that I ride alone, well I do. I am not a member of any clubs or teams. Just enjoy being outside.

[PamNY]

I saw my favorite biking lady today! She always wears a leopard swing coat, along with festive jewelry (including big earrings) and colorful scarves. She's not a young woman, but she's out there biking in winter and looking very stylish indeed.

Pam

[Miranda]

When I first started riding, I joined a club ride. They made me feel like an idiot (you don't have this or that???). ...they made me feel like family. Total strangers taught me all I needed to know and listened to my endless questions. I think it's a matter of finding a group that makes you feel comfortable.


This is the main thing that has held me back from attending my first group ride to a club I have a paid membership in. Sad, isn't it? When no one (including the lbs who took my $ for my bike:mad:) would help, I stumbled across this board. My first post was to the effect of: (deep breath before typing) I have bleeding abrasions on my labia minora...:o:(". I have never felt more supported, have never been made to feel stupid, or the like here on TE. Why can't the whole freakin cycling world be like this?:confused: It makes me mad.

Gray... Chin up and keep pedaling it out. Aquiring gear can be a slow going process. Most importantly--you have heart:cool:. (((hugs))) Miranda

[Selkie]

Don't be so hard on yourself. Getting to know you from your posts, you seem like a genuine, kind person. No artifice or pretense (in my book, that's a very positive attribute). Now you just have to see that in yourself.

You're a "real" cyclist and you definitely are not a "poser." Try not to worry about what other people think and just enjoy your time on the bike. If people give you a hard time about superficial things (clothing, equipment, etc), they probably aren't worthy of your company.

And Gray, in Morgantown, anything goes (if it hasn't changed too much since I graduated in '85). ;)

[Duck on Wheels]

Hi there! I kinda feel like we're soulmates, or ... næh, more like I aspire to being your soulmate. I'm doing the Lifecycle for the first time this year, and most of my cycling gear will be hand-me-downs from my sister and daughter. My first longish ride was a 100k on a comfort bike. I shipped the bike to my sister who took it to her LBS for assembly and fine tuning. They took one look at it, said "The Cinderella Classic on THIS? I give her one hour!" So she wheeled around and took it to her other and more favorite LBS, where they said, "Hmmm. The Cinderella Classic on this. OK. Let's see what we can do to make it doable for her." They switched me from big knobby tires to medium-narrow slicks and I did 42 of the 62 miles in the worst weather that ride has had in its 30-year history (hail, headwinds, and stinking dead skunks on the road). That was my first ever ride more than to and from work or toodling at snail's pace through the countryside on a Sunday. This year I'm signed up for the California ALC :eek: I've got a lighter, more efficient bike (though still a hybrid, and not a very expensive one) and a few more pairs of cycle shorts. I've also dared, for the first time ever, to use some hand-me-down lycra shorts (being middle-aged with the "spare tire", an ostomy bag, and various aches and owies to prove it, I've only gone for baggy shorts before). I probably look pretty dorky, but I'm finally at the point where I consider myself a cyclist and don't care. :rolleyes: Well, as for the right to consider oneself a cyclist, you're doing more miles a day than I am at this point. YOU ROCK!!! You'll do great on the Lifecycle, and I bet you're an inspiration for many on the road already! You certainly are to me, and I haven't even met you. :p :cool:

[GraysonKelly]

Thanks everybody for your support. I was just really having a down day yesterday. I went to the bike shop again and while they are really nice guys who are willing to listen, they are still pushing all this stuff on me that I either don't understand it's purpose or can't afford and they don't seem to get that. I understand that they run a business, but it's just frustrating. And these people that I contacted about maybe joining their group ride were not all that encouraging when I told them what bike I rode and that I'd never ridden with people before (except when DP and I go to the rail trail). Anyway, thanks again for all the support and help ya'll have offered. I appreciate it very much. As far as my shoes go, they are Sixsixone and I'm not sure they make them anymore. I will have to figure out what "model" (?) they are, first. I was actually wanting a new pair anyway, something that I can walk in as well as ride in. it's funny, I haven't fallen off the bike or had any major incidents since I started riding again, but I've fallen down the steps twice in those shoes. :) Again, thanks to all of you. I do feel better and have regained some of my "This is my thing. I love doing it. So I'm gonna do it my way." attitude, so thanks for reminding me. :)
Hugs all around!
Gray

[GraysonKelly]

Hi there! I kinda feel like we're soulmates, or ... næh, more like I aspire to being your soulmate. I'm doing the Lifecycle for the first time this year, and most of my cycling gear will be hand-me-downs from my sister and daughter. My first longish ride was a 100k on a comfort bike. I shipped the bike to my sister who took it to her LBS for assembly and fine tuning. They took one look at it, said "The Cinderella Classic on THIS? I give her one hour!" So she wheeled around and took it to her other and more favorite LBS, where they said, "Hmmm. The Cinderella Classic on this. OK. Let's see what we can do to make it doable for her." They switched me from big knobby tires to medium-narrow slicks and I did 42 of the 62 miles in the worst weather that ride has had in its 30-year history (hail, headwinds, and stinking dead skunks on the road). That was my first ever ride more than to and from work or toodling at snail's pace through the countryside on a Sunday. This year I'm signed up for the California ALC :eek: I've got a lighter, more efficient bike (though still a hybrid, and not a very expensive one) and a few more pairs of cycle shorts. I've also dared, for the first time ever, to use some hand-me-down lycra shorts (being middle-aged with the "spare tire", an ostomy bag, and various aches and owies to prove it, I've only gone for baggy shorts before). I probably look pretty dorky, but I'm finally at the point where I consider myself a cyclist and don't care. :rolleyes: Well, as for the right to consider oneself a cyclist, you're doing more miles a day than I am at this point. YOU ROCK!!! You'll do great on the Lifecycle, and I bet you're an inspiration for many on the road already! You certainly are to me, and I haven't even met you. :p :cool:

Thank you for saying that. I hope your ALC experience is everything you want it to be. Please keep me posted on your training and stuff and let me know what you thought when you're done. Maybe we can inspire each other and maybe we'll meet at ALC one of these days. Have a great day and thank you again. Hugs!
Gray

[TxDoc]

First of all... you are training for the Lifecycle, so I totally agree that YOU ROCK!
:)
No worries about gear, and fashion, and terminology... it does not really matter much unless you plan to go pro ;)
You ride and enjoy riding and that is just fine.
Believe me, there's plenty of people that ride $20 used bikes in plain street clothes and they leave the 'fashion police' in the dust every day :D
Ride and be proud and most of all be happy!

[beccaB]

Momentum magazine has pictures of people riding in all sorts of clothes. I had to get some specific bike clothes after getting so cold I couldn't warm back up for days. I was sweating too much and getting chilled. You shouldn't be made to feel bad about whatever you decide to wear on a ride, it's a personal preference thing. I also get winter hives, so I had to break down and buy windpants. I think I look weird in bike clothes, but they feel good on me. When I got started doing this it was always just sneakers and a t-shirt and regular shorts, until I could slowly afford the other stuff.

[Zen]

I saw my favorite biking lady today! She always wears a leopard swing coat, along with festive jewelry (including big earrings) and colorful scarves. She's not a young woman, but she's out there biking in winter and looking very stylish indeed.

Pam

I hope someone says that about me one day :)

[keepclimbing]

Last year I went on a very long cross-country tour with 11 other women. We didn't know each other before we began. Some were novices, some had touring experience, one was a racer. There was one touring bike, three mountain bikes, a couple of very good road bikes and some cheaper ones, and one ancient Schwinn that weighed a ton. Some had bike clothes, some didn't. Some were clipless, some weren't. Gears ranged from 10 to 27. Ages were from 20 to 50. We all came with different experiences, different pieces of knowledge. But the most important thing was learning to depend on one another for the support we all needed. Everyone learned a lot from one another about cycling, safety, health, repairs...but we learned more about what we had inside of us.

Enjoy!