Stuff you've learnt the hard way

[crazycanuck]

Try & limit them to one or two per post! Funny or not funny..

1-Leaving your glass on a rather wobbly cheap table beside your only laptop is not a good idea. Yes, you can drain the water out but it won't help :rolleyes: :( A cheap keyboard that plugs into the laptop doesn't help much after the fact.

2-Panicking when trying to get into a multi storey car park is not a good idea. That crunch/scrape you hear can be fixed.

[OakLeaf]

If you wear contact lenses, wear gloves when applying capsaicin cream. :rolleyes::eek:

[alpinerabbit]

You can survive putting contacts out of unneutralized H2O2 contact solution into your eyes.


It's not smart drinking 300ml. hard liquor.


It's not smart drinking insubstantially less and topping it off with a couple fags.


Think before buying a bike that "just" fits.


You will get over it.

[kermit]

Tattoos ARE permanent!

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Tattoos ARE permanent!

-that's a good one! :D
(plus, how come no one tells you that tattoos tend to get blurry over time??)

Hmmm.....ok....
1) alcohol is not my friend and cannot come over for a quick visit, either.
2) I've learned that one can respond to rudeness and lack of manners or lack of common courtesy in a direct but civil way that is usually way more effective than responding in kind with more rudeness.

Both these things took me a couple of decades to figure out. :rolleyes: (maybe I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer)

[redrhodie]

Diaries are not private.

[SheFly]

After 40, bumbles don't bounce.

[bmccasland]

There are con men out there. When your gut tells you to RUN. It's usually right. Will save a lot of heart burn in the long run if you actualy listen.

[Veronica]

I will NEVER be a twig, but being burly has its uses and is beautiful too.


Veronica

[Tuckervill]

They grow up in spite of us.

Karen

[Aggie_Ama]

Just taking it on the cheek is not good, you will hate yourself later. Standing up for yourself might be a bit scary but totally worth it.

When you say something stupid because alcohol someone will be soberer and remember it. If they are your friend they will forgive you.

[DebTX]

- Don't ever buy clothes that will "fit once I lose a few pounds"

[snapdragen]

Be prepared to take the blame for other people's requests.

Forgive, but don't forget.

[alpinerabbit]

archive your email to cover your a$$

[Blue_Wildflower]

Life is not black and white. There are lots of shades of grey.

These hips are not going anywhere.

[Bruno28]

My signature line says it all.

[Jolt]

Going on 15-17 mile hikes on consecutive Saturdays, with one's regular running routine in between and after not having done much hiking in quite a while, can kick off a nasty case of IT band syndrome resulting in a lot of time off from both running and hiking.

[jobob]

Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time & annoys the pig.

Yet I still forget this from time to time. :D

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time & annoys the pig.


Plus, perhaps the pig has completely different taste in music than yours, and who's to say yours is better? :D


I will NEVER be a twig, but being burly has its uses and is beautiful too.

I can so agree with that one. :)

[crazycanuck]

Jobob..should i ask why you were trying to teach a pig to sing?

[solobiker]

If you wear contact lenses, wear gloves when applying capsaicin cream. :rolleyes::eek:

I was cutting serano pepper today, was holding the pepper with the bag then I washed my hand and put in my contacts.....boy did that sting

[solobiker]

Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time & annoys the pig.

Yet I still forget this from time to time. :D

LOL

[jobob]

Jobob..should i ask why you were trying to teach a pig to sing?

Everyone needs a hobby.

[TrekJeni]

If you wear contact lenses, wear gloves when applying capsaicin cream. :rolleyes::eek:

Ummm were you hiding in my friend's bathroom yesterday morning while I was getting ready for the Indiana State Cross Championships? I was all excited about my new embrocation and just HAD to put it on, only to realize I hadn't put my contacts in yet. Duh!

Luckily, my friend had some latex gloves.

Jeni
(finished 3rd overall points for the season the HARD way. No podiums all season, I just kept showing up!)

[OakLeaf]

I was cutting serano pepper today, was holding the pepper with the bag then I washed my hand and put in my contacts.....boy did that sting

You know what I finally concluded... treat capsaicin on your hands as though it were 90W gear oil, except without the smell. It's about as hard to get off your hands. A thorough scrubbing with Fast Orange, or whatever you like in the garage, will do it. Soap and water definitely will NOT.


Hey WTG TrekJeni!!! :D

[Bluetree]

When your BF says: "You don't have to come over this weekend, I know you have a lot on your plate and plus, there's a lot of traffic on the freeways."

He really means: "I would really love it if you spent the weekend here and will hold it against you by being non-communicative for the next few days if you don't."

:cool:

[Bluetree]

Don't wear light-colored pants when you have your period.

Punch holes in potatoes first.

Never test out a new saddle on a century.

[Bluetree]

Never make a flippant remark about a client who "no longer has a plane" before doing your homework to make sure they didn't lose loved ones when that plane crashed. (oh.... that was truly AWFUL) :(

[jobob]

Oh my, Bluetree, that was unfortunate. :o

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Never ask a woman about her pregnancy unless she brings it up first.
I been present a couple of times in a group of casual conversation when other people (thank God not me) have asked a woman who appeared pregnant when she was 'due'... and one time the woman was just overweight, and another time the woman has just lost a 6 month stillborn fetus a week before and the husband had to answer for her since she just couldn't speak. That was really bad. :( A good lesson in discretion.

[Mr. Bloom]

Life is not black and white. There are lots of shades of grey.


And you can still make art from grey ;)

http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/aa201/MrSilver1963/whistler.jpg

[badgercat]

Never ask a woman about her pregnancy unless she brings it up first.
I been present a couple of times in a group of casual conversation when other people (thank God not me) have asked a woman who appeared pregnant when she was 'due'... and one time the woman was just overweight, and another time the woman has just lost a 6 month stillborn fetus a week before and the husband had to answer for her since she just couldn't speak. That was really bad. :( A good lesson in discretion.

One of my favorite rules--maybe I read it in a post here, I really don't remember now, so I can't give due credit--is don't assume a woman is pregnant unless you can see a baby crowning. :o

ETA: I suppose I should add something on topic, as in, something I've learned the hard way!

You can, in fact, get into your top-choice graduate school, with financial aid to boot, after getting dates mixed up and turning your application in ten days past the deadline. I wouldn't recommend this strategy, however.

[indysteel]

Double check before pressing "send" that you did not do a "reply all."

Wnen traveling, pack a change of clothes in your carryon.

[OakLeaf]

Don't assume a groundhog lying in the road is dead unless you can see its guts. :(:p

[GLC1968]

Never put in writing anything that you want to keep 100% private.

Think before speaking.

When you've lost your balance while running, do not stop your forward momentum with your face.

[redrhodie]

Check to make sure the cat is really not breathing before you declare her dead.

[PamNY]

Even when rushing to bike on the waterfront during a beautiful sunset, check your just-laundered parka to make sure a pair of black panties isn't stuck to the Velcro fasteners.

Pam

[solobiker]

when it is time to get off a chair lift make sure that any togols or buckles are free and clear... didn't happen to me but happened to DH

[lauraelmore1033]

--Just because a neighbor's cat or dog is normally sweet and affectionate does not mean they will not bite you if you try to intervene when he/she is getting aggressive with your cat or dog (I've been bitten TWICE this way:o)

--get to the doctor's office right away when the neighbor's cat or dog bites you. It is a reeeeaaaly big deal!

[Flybye]

Don't tell someone that their baby girl is beautiful............unless you are 100% certain that it is indeed a girl.

Don't take your shirt off at night in a room with the light on without checking first to see if the blind is pulled.

[Delta7]

If you want to criticize someone on a conference call and you don't want that person to hear you, make sure the mute button is on!

[Trek420]

Double check before pressing "send" that you did not do a "reply all."

Took the words from my mouth.

This is why in certain circles I'm called "____'inator" The blank being my real name :rolleyes:

Remember do not to pull into the carport when your bike is on the roof rack. :confused: :eek: :(

[echidna]

to almost any question that begins "Wouldn't you raaaaaather.....?" is a firm, kind, "no".

[OakLeaf]

Do not close the garage door when your car is inside with the hatch open. If you do begin to close the garage door, DO NOT hit the button again to re-open the door before you close the hatch.

When you go to the portajohn, make sure that your phone is SECURELY clipped to your belt. Better yet, put it inside your fanny pack before you go.

[Aggie_Ama]

Don't wear light-colored pants when you have your period.


+1 7th grade and colored jeans were the rage just not that color. I remember begging to transfer schools from my mother. Shudder.

[Flybye]

Blowing on boiling hot tea/coffee in a travel mug/disposable cup through the little sip hole will not cool it down enough to take a drink.

[indigoiis]

Couples do not need to sit down and talk. It usually ruins the relationship. If you want to grow old peacefully and happily with someone, accept them for who they are and hold your tongue. The irritation will pass. It's better than the frustration of getting into a three hour go-nowhere "talk."

(I'm still learning this one, and usually have the most trouble during that time of the month. When I feel the urge to bring stuff up, I check it and remind myself that a lot of it is hormones.)

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

When you go to the portajohn, make sure that your phone is SECURELY clipped to your belt. Better yet, put it inside your fanny pack before you go.

AAAAAGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! :eek: :eek: :eek: :(


Couples do not need to sit down and talk. It usually ruins the relationship. If you want to grow old peacefully and happily with someone, accept them for who they are and hold your tongue. The irritation will pass. It's better than the frustration of getting into a three hour go-nowhere "talk."
(I'm still learning this one, and usually have the most trouble during that time of the month. When I feel the urge to bring stuff up, I check it and remind myself that a lot of it is hormones.)

That doesn't work for us. We have had on occasion six hour or even EIGHT hour talks....all day!.... :eek: and yes they do go round and round and round and often seem to go nowhere, but eventually we have each stated our own 'issue' in every possible way and feel sufficiently heard and understood, and at that point we are able to start to compromise, negotiate, and reach an agreement we can both live with. It clears the air, enables us to understand each other better....but it sure is a lot of work! :o
That's what works for us at least. But then again we are both enthusiastic talkers. :)


Double check before pressing "send" that you did not do a "reply all."
And its companion....never hit SEND if you've just written something when angry or upset....have a cup of tea and wait at least an hour or two, or better yet wait until the next morning before you send it.

[Aggie_Ama]

When you go to the portajohn, make sure that your phone is SECURELY clipped to your belt. Better yet, put it inside your fanny pack before you go.

Dangit I learned this one too! Only mine was stuck in the pocket of a hoodie. Have a dang funny picture above my guest bath toilet because I will never live this down. :p

Best was my big brother came over for thanksgiving and returns from the toilet laughing hysterically. I couldn't figure out what had gotten into him and he told me "well at least your guest bath carries your sense of humor".

[Blue_Wildflower]

Do not wear summer tennis shoes for a 3.5hr ride when it is 30 degrees. :rolleyes:

(I purchased toe covers at a lbs at the destination city for the ride home)

[OakLeaf]

Dangit I learned this one too! Only mine was stuck in the pocket of a hoodie. Have a dang funny picture above my guest bath toilet because I will never live this down. :p

Best was my big brother came over for thanksgiving and returns from the toilet laughing hysterically. I couldn't figure out what had gotten into him and he told me "well at least your guest bath carries your sense of humor".

You know the worst part? It was three weeks before the new iPhones came out. I was going to get one. If it had been TWO weeks, I could've signed a new contract with Verizon and then cancelled out of it. Now I have another year and a half to go on my new Verizon contract.

And DH got an iPhone.

:mad::mad::mad::rolleyes:

[maillotpois]

After 40, bumbles don't bounce.

So true. So true.


Never make a flippant remark about a client who "no longer has a plane" before doing your homework to make sure they didn't lose loved ones when that plane crashed. (oh.... that was truly AWFUL) :(


Oh. My. God.
:eek:

~~~~~

Here's mine from yesterday: before turning the Nalgene bottle upside down to shake it and mix the Crystal light, double check to be sure the lid is actually ON. (Got a lap full of drink at my desk yesterday. Fortunately it didn't hit my laptop. :cool:

And from a Christmas party last year: Before resting your full red wine glass on the vanity sink and letting go of it to go to the bathroom, be sure the sink surface is LEVEL. (The glass slipped into the sink and bounced the contents out all over and that bathroom looked like a murder scene: red wine all over the cream colored walls. :eek: )

[sundial]

Maxi pads and floating do not mix. The river levels drop.

[Aggie_Ama]

You know the worst part? It was three weeks before the new iPhones came out. I was going to get one. If it had been TWO weeks, I could've signed a new contract with Verizon and then cancelled out of it. Now I have another year and a half to go on my new Verizon contract.

And DH got an iPhone.

:mad::mad::mad::rolleyes:

The worst part for me is DH asking "You didn't grab it? You know for your numbers?" I was already mad as all get out like I wanted to grab it. Portapotties and cell phones don't mix but we do have a good laugh at little ol' me's expense and this happened in February 2006!

[ASammy1]

Don't drop your cell phone in the elevator at work on Friday at 5 just as the door opens. Your phone will slide down the elevator shaft.

[maillotpois]

Also:

(1) it is possible to bonk while riding a motorcycle. (2) if you DO bonk while riding a motorcycle, you can do a lot more damage than if you bonked riding a bicycle.

:eek:

[GraysonKelly]

1. The inner strands of paracord will catch fire when you are melting them and they come apart and drip...make sure you aren't holding it when you do this. (The burn on my hand is still not healed 3 weeks later)
2. If it looks like it is going to rain, don't rollerblade for the first time on the sidewalk along the river...It started raining, I slipped and rolled down the bank into the river. That hurt!

[3for3]

Unclip BEFORE you try to dismount your bike. :p

Listen to your gut. Especially in love. If you constantly have to rationalize why you are with that person....you just SHOULDN'T be.

[VeloVT]

You know the worst part? It was three weeks before the new iPhones came out. I was going to get one. If it had been TWO weeks, I could've signed a new contract with Verizon and then cancelled out of it. Now I have another year and a half to go on my new Verizon contract.

And DH got an iPhone.

:mad::mad::mad::rolleyes:

See, this is why I pay 4.99 a month for phone insurance. I have had several phones that have either stopped working mysteriously (their fault) and one that got dropped in a puddle (my fault, but I didn't tell them that) that have been replaced for free under the insurance, and it doesn't reset your contract or the "new in two" thingey.

[solobiker]

If you want to criticize someone on a conference call and you don't want that person to hear you, make sure the mute button is on!

LOL...I second this

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

If you want to criticize someone on a conference call and you don't want that person to hear you, make sure the mute button is on!

I can't even imagine taking that chance in the first place! :eek:

[Kimmyt]

that apparently after a week of skiing your skin can get dry enough that while chopping hot peppers the capsacin fumes can cause your entire face to turn bright red and burn like a %$*&^@^%$(!^&@#!

[Trek420]

When taking a call over a TTY or TDD machine presumably with someone who is deaf mute your phone and do not assume they can not hear you :rolleyes: because if you type:

"oh, I am so sorry that happened to you, I'll fix that right away ..."

and say

"You so and so, you call me every month about this I bet you ____"

you can find out that they do hear juuuuuust enough :o

[Flybye]

There are strings attached when a husband offers his wife a massage. Be forewarned :)

[Velobambina]

1. Live by the golden rule;

2. If you don't have anything nice to say, keep your mouth shut;

3. Be careful what you ask for!

[Ruby Rider]

Safety Tip for the day:

Don't fry bacon in the nude..........

[badgercat]

Safety Tip for the day:

Don't fry bacon in the nude..........

I have no idea how to react to that other than ":eek:"

[crazycanuck]

ooohh..ouch!!! :eek:

[OakLeaf]

OWWW!

Ruby that's a heck of a first post! :D

[silver]

On asphalt or concrete, roll, don't slide. :o

[silver]

If a patient comes in and acts as though he only speaks Spanish and not a word of English, he could be playing a practical joke on you....you will know this when the Doctor takes him back and you hear loud laughter. :rolleyes:

[Chicken Little]

I can't get past the nude bacon frying...

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

If a patient comes in and acts as though he only speaks Spanish and not a word of English, he could be playing a practical joke on you....you will know this when the Doctor takes him back and you hear loud laughter. :rolleyes:

Maybe the doctor speaks Spanish?

[Flybye]

It's best to say "I don't know the answer to that" than to fake it.

[luv'nAustin]

Do not include a large unopened box of bounce in your washing machine when you wash a load of whites.

[crazycanuck]

Since we don't use Bounce down this way & it's been many many years since using it..can you explain why you don't put bounce with whites??

Are you talking about the sheets of bounce or liquid bounce?

[Kimmyt]

I think the key is unopened box!!

[crazycanuck]

AGH...i read it so quickly whilst eating brekkie at work that i missed the unopened bit..:o

[Irulan]

Couples do not need to sit down and talk. It usually ruins the relationship. If you want to grow old peacefully and happily with someone, accept them for who they are and hold your tongue. The irritation will pass. It's better than the frustration of getting into a three hour go-nowhere "talk."

(I'm still learning this one, and usually have the most trouble during that time of the month. When I feel the urge to bring stuff up, I check it and remind myself that a lot of it is hormones.)

Stuff I learned the hard way -
You have to listen as much as you talk.
You can't qualify things with explanation, or if only or because.
"I" statements begin with "I feel (a feeling) " not "I think that you blah blah blah......"

[solobiker]

There are strings attached when a husband offers his wife a massage. Be forewarned :)

I agree..

[Miranda]

- Don't ever buy clothes that will "fit once I lose a few pounds"


That made me unexpectedly LOL :D

[Miranda]

Saying... "Come on!!! We need to HURRY UP, or we are going to be late!"...

is a way to guarantee you ARE going to be 15 minutes late regardless.

[Miranda]

Bikini waxing should ONLY be done in a salon, vs at home.

Bonus... it stiffles crying as it can be a bit embarrassing to do so in front of a professional stranger.

[jesvetmed]

Don't spend the "raise" you have coming, until it's in your hands.
Turns out the word for this year: "Wage Freeze". :eek: WHAT?
So much for that raise :(

[jesvetmed]

Don't ever buy clothes that will "fit once I lose a few pounds"
I JUST did this! STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!!!! :mad:

Where were you two weeks ago!? ;)

[Bruno28]

Remove spare tampon from pocket of black corduroy jeans before putting in washing machine.

[Eden]

Bikini waxing should ONLY be done in a salon, vs at home.

Bonus... it stiffles crying as it can be a bit embarrassing to do so in front of a professional stranger.

Not exactly something I've learned....(I never have and never intend to put wax anywhere near my bikini area...) but I read this story on another forum a few years ago... It's absolutely hilarious, but I sure hope its a work of fiction...

Body: All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...... the wax.

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours:

"Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet."

So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No mess, no fuss. How hard can it be?
I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.

("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.

It works!

OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.
Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *****> and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out... must stay conscious .... must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums???

Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair.

I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not!

I touch. I am touching wax.

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet?

I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. *****! I hear the slamming of a cell door. My ***** is sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself, "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax?

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???

WRONG!!!!!!!

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and glued to the bottom of the tub... in scalding hot water..... Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!! God
bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter -

"So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?"

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace.... the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care.

"IT WORKS!! It works !!"

I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.
I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color......

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

The things women do to their bodies! {{{cringe}}} How awful! :(

I rejoice in my nice natural 'animal fur areas'.

[shootingstar]

Jeepers, that hot wax thing. It was funny.

I no longer grab for free samples of razors, etc. I still have free samples, unopened from 4 years ago.
I have to accept my aging means....less hair grown in certain areas. :rolleyes: thanks to mom, who gave me this gene. (genie :))

Microwaved stir-fried leftover food ..never tastes the same as freshly stir-fried.

[OakLeaf]

I think I'm jealous Shootingstar. I think.... to me, aging means hair growing FARTHER down on my legs, no naturally bare skin between eyebrows, eyelashes and sideburns, etc...

[shootingstar]

Hey Oak, I still have to (or should :o) pluck my eyebrows, etc. and do other stuff on my face.

But yes, I could wear a strapless dress ..right now and be hair free in the 'pits. Or pull on my cycling shorts ...and run around in the snow...unembarrassed but cold...:rolleyes:

I actually was oblivious to this hairless trend for first few months (a few yrs. ago) because I never shaved all the time anyway. Then I realized that I was being forgetful but after examining self...:)

The only saving grace...for someone with naturally black hair.

[salsabike]

Do not put your jeans in the washer and dryer until you have removed your lip gloss from the pocket. Unless you want little grease spots on the rest of the load of laundry, as a sort of design element.

PS Remember that you learned this the hard way several years ago. And hope that today's re-learning lasts longer.

[smilingcat]

I love spicy hot food. Tex mex is just fine for me. And love Cajun/Creole food too.

But there is a limit. :(

[Flybye]

If you feel like you might be coming down with the stomach flu, don't go ahead and have the spaghetti dinner.

Red crayons don't hold up well in a dryer full of whites.

[OakLeaf]

That pile of dog poop might be dry enough to run over with the lawnmower, but it might be full of yellow jackets, too.

[salsabike]

That pile of dog poop might be dry enough to run over with the lawnmower, but it might be full of yellow jackets, too.

Jeez! Scary.

[OakLeaf]

Ah, okay. First thing I learned the hard way is that if I search for this thread under the word "learned," I won't find it. ;)

What I meant to post:

1. When removing tape from a small object, do not hold it in your fingers and use a knife pointed directly at the palm of your hand.

2. A scab will too scratch a contact lens.

[sundial]

That pile of dog poop might be dry enough to run over with the lawnmower, but it might be full of yellow jackets, too.

Oh Lord! That takes the cake!! :eek: :eek:

[papaver]

650 tires just don't go on 700 wheels. I've learned that the hard way. In the middle of nowhere... :cool:

[skhill]

Don't break your Good Friday fast with margaritas. Especially not if you have a 9 am choir practice the next day... OWWW

[Biciclista]

a memory from childhood and my very first stapler: Yes staples DO hurt when shot into your palm.

[jobob]

Wow, I haven't looked at this thread in a while. Good stuff! :cool:

[snapdragen]

I rejoice in my nice natural 'animal fur areas'.

You have animal fur? :eek:

[IvonaDestroi]

When you are cleaning and your gloves are dripping with bleach, do not rub your nose. And if you do, don't inhale... :D

[jessica47201]

Owning a cat and a goldfish is ok. But owning a cat and a goldfish and sitting the fish bowl on top of your new stereo is not ok.

You should first make sure that your thumb is off the power button of the electric kitchen mixer before you lick the beaters!!! It's not cool!

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

You have animal fur? :eek:

Well, a few tufts of 'kitty fur' here and there.... :D

We're all mammals, right?

[ZenSojourner]

When slicing chili peppers, whatever you do, DO NOT scratch that itch at the corner of your eye . . . :eek:

[kenyonchris]

About turning off the beaters before licking them...also:

Long hair and a hand held mixer do not...well, mix. Scissors are usually involved in the aftermath. If anyone else is present, snide remarks and video cameras too.

Fingers and beaters do not mix either.

You'd think I would learn.

[jessica47201]

Since we are talking about having to cut your hair.

:DBeing 8 yrs old, DO NOT I repeat DO NOT decide to eat a blow-pop sucker while riding in the back of your dad's pick-up truck, even if your dad says it's ok. Unless you enjoy having your dad cut the sucker out of your hair with a pocket knife!!!!:D

[cylegoddess]

oldies but goodies;

Do not try to make a ' real cast' for your legs, even if you have read All things bright and beautiful, and are smart enough to figure out how.

Do not twirl round brush in two feet of hair, in a attempt to give it body under a blow dryer

Piercings should always be done by a professional, esp body piercings.

Later in life;
Even if you do interval training every day, lift weights and ride as far as you can go on weekends, you will collapse and die before you get thighs like guys who ride the Tour De France

[Heifzilla]

When roasting marshmallows and you run out, do not use Peeps as a replacement. The sugar melts and turns into liquid fire that hardens instantly on your hand and gives you a serious second degree burn. :(

[ZenSojourner]

OMG, that sounds so horrible!

On the other hand, finally I've found a use for Peeps - TORCHES.

BURN, BABY, BURN

[Brandy]

Don't tell a group of experienced mountain bikers that you've taken your road bike up a dirt fire road to the highest peak in the county. They'll assume you can handle more than you're letting on to...even when you tell them you have absolutely NO TECHNICAL DESCENDING SKILLS on a mountain bike. :eek:

[Brandy]

Do not twirl round brush in two feet of hair, in a attempt to give it body under a blow dryer



Oh my...I did this when I was four. My poor, poor mother. She didn't want to cut my beautiful long locks, so she painstakingly removed it strand by strand. We don't have any round brushes in the house now!

[cylegoddess]

Dad wasnt too pleased! He spent hours!

[OakLeaf]

90° is NOT too hot to wear long pants while weedwacking. Not unless you like having poison ivy on your ankles.

[Kiwi Stoker]

A friend of mine-

After a hard ride, don't have a hot bath, especially if you are a hotel manager that lives on site without his family.

Calling the security manager to help you out of the bath is also very embarassing- for him and you.

[Tri Girl]

don't put the cayenne pepper next to the cinnamon. It might make sense alphabetically, but even tho they look similar, they do NOT taste similar. When you're expecting a cinnamon roll and get a cayenne pepper roll you will not be pleased.



Self-acceptance is hard- even tho it shouldn't be. The size on my clothes or the number on the scale shouldn't define me.

[tulip]

It's okay to be happy. Really.

[limewave]

Tulip--I know! Why is that so hard to learn.

Ahem . . . . To keep bedroom items and medicine cabinet items completely separated! Thera-Gesic does NOT make a good replacement of Astroglide. DH had to retreat to a cold shower and I didn't see him again for at least an hour. :(

[Tri Girl]

Ahem . . . . To keep bedroom items and medicine cabinet items completely separated! Thera-Gesic does NOT make a good replacement of Astroglide. DH had to retreat to a cold shower and I didn't see him again for at least an hour. :(

OK, I know I shouldn't laugh at this, but I did. Poor guy.... :(

[Bethany1]

Always make sure to take everything off the stove when cooking or you might end up melting a bottle of Goo-Gone because you turned on the wrong burner.

It will require having the fire trucks, police cars and an ambulance showing up at your house and you go to the hospital for smoke inhalation.


No, there wasn't a fire as I managed to get the bottle off the stove and tossed it outside, but the smell was terrible and I coughed for two days.

Always have an animal carrier close by so you can grab your kids, cat and get out of the house safely.

Next rule..make sure you have working smoke detectors as I didn't.

[Catrin]

A friend of mine-

After a hard ride, don't have a hot bath, especially if you are a hotel manager that lives on site without his family.

Calling the security manager to help you out of the bath is also very embarassing- for him and you.

Yikes, that would be embarrassing... but what is the problem with doing this? What happened? Not that I would find a hot bath attractive after a hot ride, that is what lukewarm showers are for :)


It's okay to be happy. Really.

+10,000! I am coming to learn this myself....

[grey]

Do not dice 3 cups worth of hot peppers for salsa without gloves.
My hands are STILL hurting, and I did this 20 hours ago.

By the way, no, nothing works to stop the burn once it starts. The capsiacin oil has already traveled through all the outer layers of skin into the subdermis - so it's like closing the barn after the horse is out. It didn't keep me from trying though: vinegar, rubbing alcohol, benadryl gel, citrus, soap and water, bleach, aloe vera, burn spray, baking soda, milk.... NOTHING. I went to sleep clutching an ice pack.

[OakLeaf]

Yikes! :eek: I wonder if you don't have a sensitivity??? (Or if what's burning your hands now is things like bleach, or the combination of chemicals you used??) Anyway I hope you feel better pronto!

In terms of washing the oils off so that at least I'm safe to remove my contacts or - ahem - more intimate things, I learned that it's best to treat capsaicin as though it were 90wt gear oil (without the smell). Scrubbing with a hand cleaner designed for the garage does the trick for me every time.

[Jolt]

This one happened years ago, but here it is: If the doctor tells you you're dehydrated and need to go to the ER to get IV fluids, do NOT guzzle three tall glasses of water in an effort to fix the problem and avoid going to the hospital. It will come back up...rather violently. And you'll still have to go to the ER.

[Owlie]

Do not dice 3 cups worth of hot peppers for salsa without gloves.
My hands are STILL hurting, and I did this 20 hours ago.

By the way, no, nothing works to stop the burn once it starts. The capsiacin oil has already traveled through all the outer layers of skin into the subdermis - so it's like closing the barn after the horse is out. It didn't keep me from trying though: vinegar, rubbing alcohol, benadryl gel, citrus, soap and water, bleach, aloe vera, burn spray, baking soda, milk.... NOTHING. I went to sleep clutching an ice pack.

OUCH. I did this with one jalapeno and my hands burned for most of the rest of the evening. I spent a lot of time running cold water over my hands.

Here's another one:
Bagel guillotines: Totally worth it if you're a klutz. Also, medical-grade superglue is really expensive.

[tulip]

Lavender oil works wonders on burns. Taught to me by a successful professional chef who has lots of burn experience. Not sure it would work for hot pepper burns, though.

[Kiwi Stoker]

[QUOTE=Catrin;589387]Yikes, that would be embarrassing... but what is the problem with doing this? What happened? Not that I would find a hot bath attractive after a hot ride, that is what lukewarm showers are for :)



A fellow rider told him a bath would help is muscles recover. I assume the rider meant a "cold or lukewarm" bath. Poor friend ended up with cramp in his legs.

[Owlie]

Here's one from today:

Some people have a knack for making candy. I am not one of them.

[Susan]

If you are used to braking with BOTH hands - don't keep your left hand on the front brake while you grab the lever of the adjustable seatpost under your saddle. At least if you don't like to perform a very embarrassing version of a superman seatgrab while going over your handlebars.

[chincitop]

I really love my wide bottomed pants. I do not love my wide bottomed pants when I ride my bike. They get caught in the chain and try to kill me. :rolleyes:

[Jen12]

When a guy tells you he's a jerk, he's a jerk.
When a guy insists he's the nice guy that girls overlook, that's because he's also a jerk, but refuses to admit it.

[Tri Girl]

When a guy tells you he's a jerk, he's a jerk.
When a guy insists he's the nice guy that girls overlook, that's because he's also a jerk, but refuses to admit it.

Oh so true! :rolleyes:

[Becky]

When a guy tells you he's a jerk, he's a jerk.
When a guy insists he's the nice guy that girls overlook, that's because he's also a jerk, but refuses to admit it.

This reminded me of a story from my first date with DH :)

We went mountain biking, and I didn't know the trails very well. He got pretty far ahead of me in a tight twisty section, leaving me to wonder where the heck I was and if I'd missed a turn. A few minutes later, he came sprinting back to find me, saying, "I'm such a jerk, I'm so sorry! I'm such a jerk....I'll slow down!"

I figured that any guy who was that willing to apologize and admit his mistakes was worth a second date....the rest is history :)

[ridingfiend]

Don't 'loan' anything to a friend unless you are prepared to consider it a gift.

[macski]

Your beautiful, cuddly, butter wouldn't melt in its mouth kitty cat that you thought would never hurt you turns into a raging tiger with very sharp claws when having to be bathed when covered in oil from lurking under a car

[Catrin]

When it is over 95 degrees, don't take home-made trail mix that has chocolate chips in it for a snack in your Camelbak. Even if you are in the woods it WILL melt :o I guess I can freeze the baggie it is in and then break it into pieces...

[TsPoet]

Always be nice, because if you a snotty, and the other person is nice and polite, you are the idiot and everyone will know it.

[Owlie]

When it is over 95 degrees, don't take home-made trail mix that has chocolate chips in it for a snack in your Camelbak. Even if you are in the woods it WILL melt :o I guess I can freeze the baggie it is in and then break it into pieces...

Oh dear. Now you have some kind of granola bar?

[Catrin]

Oh dear. Now you have some kind of granola bar?

Yeah, of course it was too messy to eat...you would think that I should have realized that when I put it in my bag for the trip :rolleyes: Oh well, it can be a bike-ride recovery snack with chocolate milk instead of chips.

[Owlie]

Yeah, of course it was too messy to eat...you would think that I should have realized that when I put it in my bag for the trip :rolleyes: Oh well, it can be a bike-ride recovery snack with chocolate milk instead of chips.

Maybe you should start bringing a spork with you on rides, just in case. They make nice lightweight titanium ones. ;)

[Brandi]

Machete's should only be used if you are wearing protective clothing. So next time your husband says "going to do trail work" And grabs the machete, take it away from him! That way you aren't rushing him to urgent care to get his leg stitched up! (that happend wed of this week).

[Brandi]

Don't 'loan' anything to a friend unless you are prepared to consider it a gift.
Oh that is the truth!

[OakLeaf]

:eek: Oh man Brandi, hope your DH is healing up!

Don't stick your arm out the car window to catch the breeze when you're passing blackberry brambles.

[OakLeaf]

And with two thorns still in my fingers from the LAST thing I learned the hard way, so deep I can't dig them out ...

Don't check the batteries on your PlanetBike SuperFlash by turning it on while looking directly into the lens.



Anybody here have any common sense they're not using? Because I've apparently misplaced mine.

[VeganBikeChick]

Nope, sorry OakLeaf. I need all I can get and more! :)

[marni]

of all things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Always pick up your feet is my big bette noir.

[Owlie]

And with two thorns still in my fingers from the LAST thing I learned the hard way, so deep I can't dig them out ...

Don't check the batteries on your PlanetBike SuperFlash by turning it on while looking directly into the lens.



Anybody here have any common sense they're not using? Because I've apparently misplaced mine.

Yeah...I've done that by accident with my light (a Cateye tail-light thing) and my retinas haven't forgiven me.:o

Today's lesson: 12-year-old rusted bolts are really difficult to remove...

[OakLeaf]

Today's lesson: 12-year-old rusted bolts are really difficult to remove...

Did you get them off?

If you have enough clearance behind the bumper to pull the bolt out from the back, the easiest thing to do is drill off the heads.

[Jen12]

Always be nice, because if you a snotty, and the other person is nice and polite, you are the idiot and everyone will know it.

Hahaha..right...ever been at a table full of people when somebody says something really nasty and there's complete silence?

[Owlie]

Did you get them off?

If you have enough clearance behind the bumper to pull the bolt out from the back, the easiest thing to do is drill off the heads.

Yes! WD-40 left overnight did the trick for all but one of them. The remaining one had a nut on it, and they had rusted to each other and to the little Y-shaped metal thing that holds the lower two bolts. We somehow pulled the plate off without undoing that bolt. My car is legal once again!

[skhill]

Always wear gloves when shelling black walnuts. If you can't find any around the house, run out to the store and get some.

BTW, does anyone have any suggestions for getting rid of the stains on my hands? I've been trying to get rid of them for 3 days now...:o

[OakLeaf]

:p

I don't know, I had a friend in high school who was a fiber artist, worked a lot with natural dyes, and you just never knew what color her hands would be on any given day...

Maybe try a pumice scrub and just take off the stained outer layer(s) of skin???

Hopefully you won't need a surgeon the way I wound up needing for that thorn. :rolleyes: (Just a local anaesthetic and a couple of little scalpel cuts, but too small for my PCP to deal with in her office.)

[redrhodie]

Vegetable dyed shoes stain. My cats will have furballs onto those shoes just to make sure I remember.

[OakLeaf]

Heh. Back in my racing days when I rode rain or shine, I had this pair of Duegi shoes that never stopped turning my feet and socks black every time they got wet.

I kept expecting that sooner or later they would run out of dye, but I burned out on cycling before that happened, and by the time I came back to riding, my feet are three sizes bigger, perfect excuse for new shoes. :rolleyes:

[Sky King]

speaking of stains... the gilles berthoud saddle I had to abandon due to wrong size for my sits was stained black, so was fine with my black biking shorts but if I rode in street clothes I ended up with an unflattering saddle mark stain that was really hard to wash out. Why they chose that dye is beyond me.