Living in Egypt , near denial... or I'm ready to quit [Archive]

Veronica

10-20-2008, 04:56 PM

I have a very difficult class this year.

Last week I got on one of my boys because he was totally wasting his time. They were suppose to be solving some math problems and he was goofing off. When it was time to correct I called him for the answer to the second problem. He didn't have it of course and I went into my "Life Choices" speech. In essence, the choices you make today, effect who you become tomorrow. Poor choices in your youth are probably going to lead to a hard life as an adult. I made him cry.

His mother called me and left a voice mail, very upset with me for upsetting her son about his future. Of course he didn't tell her how he'd been wasting his time all morning. In her tirade she says that they are a Christian family and she is trying to instill Christian values in her son.

Yeah...

Today I discover him playing with a cootie catcher. I didn't look at it until after school. Four of the answers under the numbers... n1gger, f@g, pu$$y and f@ck off.

Those Christian values seem to be really taking hold.

Then there's the kid with anger management issues, who doesn't know why he's mad another kid, but he is, so he gets physical with him.

The kid who made a flip book on Friday with guns and a guy saying, "Run b1tch!" and "F@ck you!"

The four kids who are working at a second grade level in a fifth grade class...

The three English Language Learners...

The kid with so many disorders, I don't know where to begin...

The kid diagnosed with ADD who takes 90 minutes to answer 16 multiple choice questions. Everyone else finishes in 40 minutes...

I don't get to spend too much of my day actually teaching.

I think I'll be doing a long yoga session tonight... or eating a bunch of ice cream.

Oh... and these are kids in the 'burbs, not inner city children.

Veronica

Biciclista

10-20-2008, 05:01 PM

wait! what's a cootie catcher?

Take the whole class outside for a walk around the school perimeter. Then bring em back into class and get a little work done!

solobiker

10-20-2008, 05:06 PM

Wow, sounds rough/tough. I have the opposite problem.( children of parents being in denile) I work with the geriatric population, some of which have significant behaviors related to dementia, alcohol abuse, general confusion. The list could go on. Well anyway when working with them in OT or PT if they do not progress it is often the therapists' fault and the children of the patients are often rude and often put the blame on the theapy staff why there 97 year old mother with dementia and pnuemonia is not getting better. Often what I have seen happen is that the Drs back out and leave it to the nursing home to " deal" with the end of life without letting the family know what their lovedone's prognosis is. I know that the family is going through a very tough time and keep that in consideration at all times. It just makes it pretty hard when I am doing the best posible job possible and still get all sorts of negative responses. Just my .02

Veronica

10-20-2008, 05:10 PM

It's not a question of them needing exercise.

Many of them have some serious emotional and behavioral issues that I am not able to deal with and these issues are impacting the learning environment of the other students.

And then there are the ones who are just little jerks. I've been teaching 5th grade for 15+ years. Yes, there are little jerks at 10 years of age. It is amazing how well developed the personality of a ten year old is.

Cootie Catcher link. http://www.squiglysplayhouse.com/ArtsAndCrafts/Crafts/CootieCatchers.html

Veronica

Biciclista

10-20-2008, 05:18 PM

I had no idea that's what those were called.
I just read this article today:

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/10/17/a-dose-of-nature-for-attention-problems/

Parents of children with attention deficit problems are always looking for new strategies to help their children cope. An interesting new study suggests that spending time in nature may help.

A small study conducted at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign looked at how the environment influenced a child’s concentration skills. The researchers evaluated 17 children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, who all took part in three 20-minute walks in a park, a residential neighborhood and a downtown area.

After each walk, the children were given a standard test called Digit Span Backwards, in which a series of numbers are said aloud and the child recites them backwards. The test is a useful measure of attention and concentration because practice doesn’t improve the score. The order of the walks varied for all the children, and the tester wasn’t aware of which walk the child had just taken.

The study, published online in the August The Journal of Attention Disorders, found that children were able to focus better after the “green” walks compared to walks in other settings.

Although the study is small, the data support several earlier studies suggesting that natural settings influence psychological health. In 2004, a survey of parents of 450 children found that “green” outdoor activities reduced A.D.H.D. symptoms more than activities in other settings.

“What this particular study tells us is that the physical environment matters,” said Frances E. Kuo, director of the university’s Landscape and Human Health Laboratory. “We don’t know what it is about the park, exactly — the greenness or lack of buildings — that seems to improve attention.”

Dr. Kuo noted that the study used tight controls to make sure that the walks were identical except for the environment. Who the child was with, noise levels, the length of time, the time of day and whether the child was on medication stayed constant.

“If we kept everything else the same, and we just changed the environment, we still saw a measurable difference in children’s symptoms,” Dr. Kuo said. “And that’s completely new. No one has done a study looking at a child in different environments, in a controlled comparison where everything else is the same.”

Dr. Kuo said more children were initially involved in the study, but logistical problems like weather changes, late arrivals or changes in medication made it difficult to maintain tight control, leaving the study with just 17 children from which to draw conclusions.

Despite the small size, the study is important because it involves an objective test of attention and doesn’t rely on children’s or parents’ impressions. During the walks, all of the children were unmedicated — participants who normally took medications to control their A.D.H.D. symptoms stayed off the drugs on the days of the walks.

The researchers found that a “dose of nature” worked as well or better than a dose of medication on the child’s ability to concentrate. What’s not clear is how long the nature effect can last.

Dr. Kuo said that while there are “hints” exposure to green outdoor settings offers a benefit, the science isn’t advanced enough to give parents a strict formula.

“We can’t say for sure, ‘two hours of outdoor play will get you this many days of good behavior,’ but we can say it’s worth trying,” she said. “We can say that as little as 20 minutes of outdoor exposure could potentially buy you an afternoon or a couple of hours to get homework done.”

Dr. Kuo said it’s notable that parents themselves consistently report benefits for their children from green settings.

“One reason we believe this is that if the effect were short-lived, we don’t think that parents would have so consistently observed it,” she said. “But they do. They report it over and over.”

Veronica

10-20-2008, 05:22 PM

My severe ADD kid is not really a behavior problem, just takes forever to get things done.

He spends A LOT of time playing video games. He LOVES to talk to me about them.

Veronica

Irulan

10-20-2008, 05:31 PM

In her tirade she says that they are a Christian family and she is trying to instill Christian values in her son.

Yeah...

Today I discover him playing with a cootie catcher. I didn't look at it until after school. Four of the answers under the numbers... n1gger, f@g, pu$$y and f@ck off.

Those Christian values seem to be really taking hold.

If it were me, I'd wish I had the nerve to show her that. I can just hear it now,
"my little darling?".

Burnout is real. Maybe it IS time to do something else, or move to an area where education is more respected.

We left the bay area before my kids reached school age, and I was glad as the public schools down there really, really scared me. It wasn't a good sign when the neighborhood district( Mt. Diablo) had to pass a bond issue to put sinks back on the walls in elementary school bathrooms, and fix the roof.

I know we all have reasons for living where we do, but quality of life/work issues can be a good reason to move.

redrhodie

10-20-2008, 05:31 PM

Can you take a sabbatical? Or is it all or nothing, you either teach or quit?

It seems like 15 years is a long time to be dealing with little jerks (I know they're not all jerks ;)). Summer doesn't sound like enough of a break.

Aggie_Ama

10-20-2008, 05:39 PM

Wow, sounds rough/tough. I have the opposite problem.( children of parents being in denile) I work with the geriatric population, some of which have significant behaviors related to dementia, alcohol abuse, general confusion.

Oh my you work with my father? His mother has alzheimers and is an alcoholic yet he thinks she could go home if she keeps working. It is so sad!

V- I honestly don't know how you do it. I went through teaching certification and couldn't get hired in the area I wanted to live/work, now I am so thankful. I have a friend who teaches 8th grade (the area I was interested in) and I hear what she does day in and day out. I realize I am not a saint and I that you career teachers are. I hope the yoga and ice cream helped!

Veronica

10-20-2008, 06:06 PM

It's funny. I really love some aspects of my job. I'm getting ready to do a unit using the book Yolanda's Genius. I'm really excited about that and I think the kids will enjoy it. It's an awesome book about a black 5th grade girl and her first grade brother who can't read. Lots of areas for great discussion... It's a book I've been wanting to use in my class for awhile, but just haven't gotten to. I have to create all my own stuff for it, since it seems like there is no pre made unit out there. It's a great book though, so it's worth it.

Right now I'm working on a test the kids did today on our first five math units. One of my girls who has really been struggling did really well - huge improvement for her. She's been working really hard, asking lots of questions, coming in for some extra help.... It's awesome to see it pay off.

One of my real lowbies finally passed his addition timed test today. He was SO excited. And he took the next test home tonight to practice, even though he didn't have to.

One of my girls did the most amazing presentation last week. They had to share a fact about the state they picked for the year. Her state is NH. Her fact was about Robert Frost. She memorized Stopping by Woods on a Snowny Evening and recited it, along with giving us facts about him.

Notice how all that stuff is about teaching, not counseling. I wouldn't mind the counseling either, if it was only one kid at a time...

Veronica

solobiker

10-20-2008, 06:12 PM

V, I was not trying to be offensive or discount anything you said. Sorry if you took it that way.

Actually PT and OT have a lot more to do then " making them exercise" If they can't return home "because" of therapy then the families blame us for taking their loved ones away and not letting them spend the remainder of their life at home with their wife or husband. And beleive it or not there are longstanding behaviors, I have been bitten and hit several times and not just because someone is confused. Often these pts have undiagnosed or undertreated psyc issues..

Veronica

10-20-2008, 06:26 PM

redrhodie

10-20-2008, 06:41 PM

Veronica

10-20-2008, 07:16 PM

Let me guess, you ate the ice cream :D.

Yeah, but only just now, after dinner. :D

No yoga though. I graded math instead.

Veronica

Veronica

10-20-2008, 07:25 PM

Do these students have an IEP, or just a particularly unfocused class??

I have 29 students. Five of them have IEPs. Two of them have 504s, kind of like an IEP, but no resource teacher involved. I have 3 English Language Learners and associated paperwork. And now the state or the district or both has decided we need to do what's like an IEP on our GATE kids. I have 6 of them.

That's almost half my students that require extra paperwork. Just crazy!

It's a class with a lot of issues - tough home lives, parents with lots of problems, parents not really involved...

The class can be really sweet and do really great work. I've got some awesome posters that they made up in my room. But when they are off... they all get riled up together.

See now, I'm to the stage where I'm looking at the positive...

Veronica

shootingstar

10-20-2008, 07:34 PM

I have a very difficult class this year.

The three English Language Learners...

..................................

Oh... and these are kids in the 'burbs, not inner city children.

Veronica

May I ask, are the ESL students main learning difficulties primarily ESL or is it combined with acculturation / adaptation issues that result in spin-off difficult behaviours in the classroom?

ah.....I was an ESL student from kindergarten to gr. 2.
An interesting (but not uncommon) story about 2 children of a cousin of mine. They immigrated from mainland China when they were each 6 & 8 years old with their parents. The family lived with me for the lst 4 months when I was attending university. During the lst 2 wks., the children were wild at home, nearly destructive. They were totally unfamiliar with their surroundings. They were raised in rural China and 'day-care' consisted of throwing the children all in a fenced area with very few toys or play equipment...near the commune.

The 8 yr. old boy was place 2 grades LOWER than his normal grade level. So was his brother.

Happy to report that the 8 yr. old boy is a university engineering graduate who became a middle manager at a major telecommunications firm, happily married with 1 daughter.

His brother also completed university.

Their parents made their boys study hard...after school.

I hope you already have had some positive cases/"graduates" given the fact you've been doing this difficult teaching for a number of years! Sad that in some cases, it does also require parent(s) to change their parenting style and spend more time with a child but when not much happens in that area so pressure is on teachers to cope. Good you pointed out the kids are from the 'burbs'. It's annoying when people talk about 'inner city" schools in a sort of prejorative way...when some of the kids just turn out fine/great.

Biciclista

10-20-2008, 08:03 PM

good points, Shootingstar.
Neither of my sons ever completed the "timed addition tests"
that the teachers were constantly giving them. Instead they were chewing their crayons or annoying other children. All of my sons' teachers knew us personally, and i was always acquainted with the principals and vice principals of each school. More than once my sons were punished by not allowing them to partake in recess; the one thing they looked forward all day, many days during their elementary education.
Much later, both of my sons loved calculus and one of them is now a grad student studying pure math. I feel sorry for teachers who have to teach a curriculum that bores children to tears.

Crankin

10-21-2008, 03:20 AM

Veronica, I have been there. I am not sure what to say. I know it seems like you don't have the support from other adults in your building who should be helping you. But, it seems like this is the way life is now a days. I mean, if you take any class of 20 kids, you are going to have at least 5 on IEPs, 2-3 with ADD, a couple of really gifted kids, and at least one, maybe two or three really bad behavior issues. Oh, and then there are the kids with dysfunctional home situations. I also taught in the suburbs, with a number of kids with ELL issues, too.
What I am saying is that there is no "normal" anymore.
I would have definitely had a conference with the mother of the kid with the "Christian values," and had the school counselor or principal with me as I showed her the cootie catcher. Yes, there are some parents who just don't believe what their kids are doing. I once had a parent tell me she was going to pray for me so I would be able to deal with her kid!
And this stuff is everywhere. I remember when we moved to Boxborough about 12 years ago; we had been living in more of a blue collar town, where the schools were just OK. We saved and scrimped so our kids could live in an outstanding school district. After the first day of school, my older son who was in 7th grade came home and said,"They came from the mental institution and took someone away, out of my math class." The kid had tried to set his house on fire with his parents inside! The next day there was a drug bust in the cafeteria.
I am glad that I am not teaching anymore. I was not burned out, but I was tired. And this was in a school district with excellent support and the most professional people I have ever worked with. Whoever said it was parenting skills was mostly correct. I can't believe the amount of teaching I had to do with parents; like telling them it was OK to take away the video games and the Internet.

Mr. Bloom

10-21-2008, 03:27 AM

V,

I seem to recall from prior posts that either your school or your teaching engagement is in a situation that has a disproportionate ratio of difficult or at risk kids...but even if I'm wrong about that, all I can say is that I'm glad that you care despite these challenges. I only want to affirm you and others like you and encourage you to continue doing a great job.

Teaching gives you broad access to the worst that humanity has to offer, but you are a catalyst for good:)

Veronica

10-21-2008, 04:46 AM

Funny, I don't punish kids for chewing on their own crayons, or for not knowing material. In fact I don't think I've taken recess away from anyone yet this year. Last year I had to take recess away from a kid because he would not stop calling the girls nasty names and stirring up other trouble. He lost his recess permanently and worked with a first grade class as a helper during his recesses.

I do punish kids for deliberately annoying other children and for destroying other people's property.

It's always interesting to hear people's anecdotes about one or two children - usually their own. Bear in mind that I have around 30 children in my classroom and I have worked with over 500 different 10 year olds in my teaching career. I have had ADD types of all sorts. Not every kid with ADD is exactly the same.

Veronica

OakLeaf

10-21-2008, 04:49 AM

+1. Well said, Mr. S. I honestly believe that elementary school teacher is the most important job in the world. This isn't the first time I've said that. Yours, V., is the job on which everything else depends.

As a last resort, can you maybe look for work at a private school? I know it's a cop-out in a way, but it would let you enjoy the best of your work, still do really important work, and avoid the worst of it. My mom's a fourth-grade teacher, has been since 1972 (since '74 at the private school) and she just ADORES her work. I used to say they'd have to pry her cold dead body out of the classroom, except that now she says she wants to be a classroom skeleton after she's gone :rolleyes::D

Andrea

10-21-2008, 05:45 AM

Veronica-

You sound like a great teacher. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise :D

I had (ok, still have) ADD. It made learning difficult (and it still makes some things difficult to this day), but what it DIDN'T make difficult was knowing what my parents taught me about right and wrong. So many parents now will make excuses for their child's horrible behavior just because he or she has ADD. There's only so much bad behavior you can attribute to ADD.

Tuckervill

10-21-2008, 07:23 AM

It's not the parents and it's not the teachers. It's the institution. An institution that groups large numbers of same-age children in one place is unnatural for children, and prohibits and inhibits natural growth that would otherwise occur in a multi-generational family, and their larger community. No one can be blamed individually for the problems that the idea of mass-produced education has inflicted on our society, and which have infiltrated our families in insidious ways.

It's good for a society to have an educated populace. The institution as it has evolved to be has become unwieldy and is past its usefulness. Yes, I say, abandon it. Or at least don't be afraid to consider ways to the same end.

Learnin' happens.

Karen

Biciclista

10-21-2008, 07:40 AM

I agree, you do sound like a great teacher. However, I am not really sure that CHILDREN have changed that much. Is it better or worse that kids with behavior problems now come with paperwork? When I was a kid, the teacher got 35 surprises in their classroom every september. Sure, the worse kids came with a reputation, incorrigible, delinquent, retarded. But not all of them, and there were no "tools" with how to deal with them except maybe a stick!

Hang in there, you're making the world a better place.

Andrea

10-21-2008, 09:53 AM

... 35 surprises in their classroom every september...

I feel similar to this when I get my 50+ new college students every semester- I can only imagine what it would be like with children!!!

beccaB

10-21-2008, 10:25 AM

I have no doubt that inactivity makes ADHD and other issues much worse. The problems become magnified on the school bus, which does not bring out the best in most children.

solobiker

10-21-2008, 02:45 PM

I wasn't offended.

I was actually replying to Mimi's thing about taking them for a walk. It would be nice it were so simple. Anger management kid would probably try to beat up someone on the way. :D

I really wonder about parenting these days... or lack thereof.

My mother never assumed any of my teachers had it in for me. If I got in trouble (and I DID!) she always took the teacher's side. And if I had written any of those words or said any of those words in a teacher's hearing... I would have been in so much trouble.

But I guess the parents use those words in front of their children now, so they think it's okay.

Veronica

My mom was the same way. Gosh, if I ever wrote anything close to those words I would be in far more trouble at home then at school. I have heard many young parents using that type of language and do not seem to care how it filters down to their kids. I do not know how you do it...I be frustrated most of the time I am sure. Granted, I do not have any children so I can not speak from experience but from my observations it seems like kids just don't have the respect that they used to have when I was growing up. Hang in there V they need great people like you in their lives.

Meaux

10-21-2008, 03:39 PM

I have so much respect for teachers. They do so much, and so little compensation, at least monetarily. I thought about going into teaching, but didn't know if I could survive it. Kudos to all you teachers!

GLC1968

10-21-2008, 03:49 PM

V - I'm so impressed with what you do. I know that I could never do it!

While I'm sure you have plenty of days that just make you want to pull your hair out (or quit), know that you DO make a difference. I think that if I were ever to teach, I'd pick 4th, 5th or 6th grade. This is mostly because of my own experience, but I had 2 of the best teachers in my life during those years and two of the worst. And I still remember all 4 of them (I moved mid year - hence the 4) with vivid recollection. In fact, some of what the good ones taught me remain with me to this day.

So I'm with Mr S - "you are a catalyst for good" - thank you for that!

michelem

10-21-2008, 03:59 PM

Good luck to you, Veronica! I hope you find your passion for working in this field again, or are able to find a suitable change. Good thing you have cycling for stress relief! :rolleyes:

Veronica

10-21-2008, 06:52 PM

Tuckervill

10-21-2008, 07:18 PM

Holy cow. I'd be showing that cootie-catcher to his parents, too.

Karen

snapdragen

10-21-2008, 08:41 PM

Holy cow. I'd be showing that cootie-catcher to his parents, too.

Karen

I wonder if the parents bought Grand Theft Auto for him? :eek:

Irulan

10-21-2008, 09:13 PM

Mr. Bloom

10-22-2008, 02:15 AM

His mother called me and left a voice mail, very upset with me for upsetting her son about his future. Of course he didn't tell her how he'd been wasting his time all morning. In her tirade she says that they are a Christian family and she is trying to instill Christian values in her son.

I don't expect a kid to have all this figured out, but I would let the mom know that she had expressed to you what their values were, you found this cootie catcher that seemed inconsistent with that value system, and you thought that she would want to know. No judgement, just information.

We all tend to see only the best in our kids and tend to be blind to their shortcomings. Information and communication is the key to helping this parent be a better parent.

Veronica

10-22-2008, 09:18 AM

However, I am not really sure that CHILDREN have changed that much. Is it better or worse that kids with behavior problems now come with paperwork?

Yes children have changed. They see R rated movies now. They play video games like Grand Theft Auto - a game that promotes criminal activity and not just stealing cars.

Regarding the extra paperwork - yeah it's nice to know what the students are like... but who has time to complete the paperwork? I already put in 8+ hours daily and 2 - 4 hours each weekend day, just to keep up with lesson planning and grading. I'm not one of those teachers who does the same thing for years. I tailor my instruction to the needs of my class. Working with 30 ten years olds is physically and mentally draining. Your brain is constantly on and your body is nearly always in motion. There are days when I am on from 8:15 to 12:30 with just a 15 minute break for recess, which often turns into more like ten. If you were ever a lifeguard, teaching is like being constantly on deck, watching the pool. You are ALWAYS vigilant.

This week I have one of the 504 meetings. It's scheduled for 11:15 and a sub will be coming into my room. So, I needed to do the paperwork for the 504 and sub plans. Again, that's not something you just whip out in 2 - 3 minutes.

It could be worse. I could have my 504 meeting at 3 PM on Friday. That's what one of my peers has. We're never asked what's a good time for the meeting by the way. They are always scheduled for the parents' convenience. She is supposed to be picking up her 5 year old to take him to his Fall Fest. Fortunately, we have a good principal and she's promised her the meeting will end at 3:30. By contract, we're supposed to be able to leave at 3 on Fridays. Of course the contract also has a meeting clause in it. :rolleyes:

Yes, teachers do have personal lives.

Veronica

maillotpois

10-22-2008, 09:35 AM

Back to the original reason for this post... the kid who wrote all those nasty words, the one being raised with good Christian values... He told the principal he did that because his videos games, like Grand Theft Auto, are a bad influence on him. They encourage him to make such poor choices.

Veronica

That's like the "Twinkie defense". :rolleyes: Lack of accountability makes me CRAZY.

Good you brought it to the principal. The good Christian parents need to be shown that as well. And I bet they did buy him that video game. Or certainly they know he has it, but they probably haven't taken the time to sit down with him while he's playing and realize how appalling it is. They probably just let him go off and play it unsupervised, grateful for the cheap babysitting so they can do laundry or cook dinner or whatever. Or pray.

OakLeaf

10-22-2008, 09:37 AM

For all the ugliness in some video games today, I don't think there's overt racism. That particular word I'm guessing he picked up at home.

alpinerabbit

10-22-2008, 09:42 AM

he kid who wrote all those nasty words, the one being raised with good Christian values... He told the principal he did that because his videos games, like Grand Theft Auto, are a bad influence on him. They encourage him to make such poor choices.

That's even worse, because he is obviously already mature enough to understand, and smart enough to manipulate. Disgusting.

For all the ugliness in some video games today, I don't think there's overt racism. That particular word I'm guessing he picked up at home.
or from some of his weasely little friends. Maybe his mom should spend less time instilling him with bigoted christian values and more time looking into what he's actually doing in his spare time.

Veronica

10-22-2008, 09:43 AM

A photocopy of the cootie catcher went home.

Mom knows he has the video game. The principal and last year's teacher both encouraged her to take it away from him. She did - for two weeks.

Veronica

Veronica

10-22-2008, 09:55 AM

In mom's defense, she is a single parent and she is trying.

I think the boy needs to be held much more accountable for his actions. By ten most kids understand what is right and what is wrong. He does understand because he has come to me on more than one occassion to tell me about other students who have done many of the same things he does (bullying, inappropriate language, body contact...)

I just don't know what "holding him more accountable" should look like. In all honesty I'd like him ostracized in the class by the class - not permanently. But when he does some of this garbage I'd really like his peers to let him know how despicable his behavior is.

He's been suspended numerous times. He's lost tons of recess time over the years. Those things aren't lasting and don't matter. The class refusing to socialize with him might matter. Trouble is - I have about 6 others who think bad behavior is cool. How do you ostracize 1/4 of your class? I'd love to make him sit in the corner. He can still hear instruction and I can see him... but that would be bad for his self esteem. Too bad. :rolleyes:

Veronica

maillotpois

10-22-2008, 10:05 AM

It is SO hard to get kids to own up to mistakes, apologize or be accountable. ANY kids. I have this fight over and over with Em. She's a good kid but she will NOT admit a mistake. I keep telling her I would rather shat she is honest, back down, admit she's wrong or made a mistake than arguing about it. I figure if I keep reinforcing it eventually she will start doing it. I'd rather you say you screwed up and be accountable than trying to evade blame. Blame's not that bad. It's life. Everyone makes mistakes.

Having a peer group that thinks bad behavior is cool makes it tough for you V. And I don't know what you do to make it sink in. I think you just have to keep chipping away at it, keep the mom informed (and put your asbestos earmuffs on when she leaves you voice mails) and just know you are trying to do what you can.

Iris616

10-22-2008, 10:06 AM

V-
I'll just say "thanks" for teaching. Thanks for taking the time to make the lives of these kids better. I can only imagine how difficult some days can be.

Veronica

10-22-2008, 10:16 AM

Michele you didn't need to edit.

I love how off topic threads get sometimes. It's like a conversation.

I was bringing myself back on topic...:D

It's good to have a place to write out some of my frustration. It's better than my journal because the journal doesn't write back and offer ideas or just encouragement. :)

I must be doing something right because I have so many kids come back to visit me - including some who are now in college.

Veronica

Iris616

10-22-2008, 11:21 AM

Here's an example of how teachers impact their students every day (without even knowing it sometimes):

My 5 yo often says "Oh my God" which drives me crazy. Her cousins all say it, so she picked it up from them. We ask her to chose a different phrase every time we hear her say it.

Last night she came home from Kindergarten and at some point said, "Oh my goodness gracious!" I asked her where she had heard that and she said, "Mrs. H. says it!" It was a pleasant surprise to me that her teacher has more influence over her than her cousins do! I'm sure that she is learning valuable life skills every day that she is in this woman's classroom.

So, to all of you teachers, please know that you DO make a difference every day. And that most parents are appreciative of it.

michelem

10-22-2008, 11:43 AM

Veronica,

I'm sorry. From the title of your thread, I thought your post topic was getting to the end of your rope with this job and thinking of quitting. I was just posting about my hubby's similar position and how many think he's crazy for absolutely loving what he does.

Anyway, on to the real topic (thanks so much for clarifying, as I can be pretty dense at times): yes, I do agree that you are dealing with a whole different animal than when we grew up. Kids are exposed to so much more at an earlier and earlier age. And, it seems as though parents want to be their kids' friends more than they want to be their parents. The other thing I notice, is how much earlier in age kids are developing/maturing -- eleven and 12 year-olds look like they are in their teens! :eek:

Fortunately, for my husband, because it is a privilege for these kids to be allowed to attend the grant-funded after-school program, he has the authority to kick kids out of the program. He does the warning, calling the caregivers, and contracts, but if all else fails the kids are shown the door. This really sucks for the caregivers as they have to find alternative after-school care for their non-compliant adolescents!

So, I guess I don't really have any great advice for you other than continuing to take care of yourself -- yoga, cycling, reaching out to others for support. Big hugs to you. :o

Veronica

10-22-2008, 11:48 AM

When I wrote it - I was at the end of my rope and ready to quit! :D

Fortunately, I don't make snap judgments about the big stuff.

Today I'm home with my honey. He had a dental appointment and I decided a mid week day off would be nice. I have nearly 90 days on the books... I should probably take a day off more often. :D

Veronica

snapdragen

10-22-2008, 03:09 PM

I must be doing something right because I have so many kids come back to visit me - including some who are now in college.

That has got to make you feel good about what you do! :cool:

Lifesgreat

10-22-2008, 03:23 PM

(((V))) Hang in there Buckaroo! You are my kind of teacher!

Show mom the cootie catcher! hee hee

maillotpois

10-22-2008, 03:33 PM

OMG. I only now just got the pun on the title of this thread. It's been a long month. :rolleyes:

Crankin

10-23-2008, 04:05 AM

Keep us posted with the cootie catcher....

Velobambina

10-23-2008, 05:10 AM

Yes children have changed. They see R rated movies now. They play video games like Grand Theft Auto - a game that promotes criminal activity and not just stealing cars. ...

I agree wholeheartedly, and what V has mentioned is just the tip of the iceberg.

Keep fighting the good fight, V. You are making a difference.

Tri Girl

10-23-2008, 05:32 AM

I understand, V. I REALLY do.
Not to add to your insanity, but just so you understand: I have a group of kids this year that literally make me hate going to work (and I've never hated teaching). Lucky for me (insert extreme sarcasm) I get to teach all 104 5th graders. A good 30 of them make my life hell everyday. I take so much time dealing with discipline and teaching right from wrong and catching them being sneaky, that the other 70 don't get what they need. It's like teaching preschoolers.
All day I say things like: Johnny, don't touch that. Sam, take your pencil out of your ear. Joey, you've been working on that paper for 30 min. and only have one problem done. Bob, stop licking your arm and the desk. The minute my mouth shuts- theirs immediately open and are talking non-stop. It spreads like wildfire. It's insane. The word fa@@ot is all over the place. Really, I'm ready to leave teaching. In the 11 years I've been doing it- it's gotten worse and worse. I fear for the future. I just know I can't handle dealing with it every day.
Now, on the other side- the other 70 I have are wonderful. I wish I could tape the mouths shut and tape the 30 to their chairs so I could have some meaningful learning time with the ones who really want to learn. I'd go to prison if I did that, but for one day it might be worth it....
And don't get me started on the parents I have to deal with, too. I've just accepted that it's always my fault this year, it's not their kid, I'm to blame for their 11 years of bad child rearing and I'm just picking on their kid. :mad:

Now it's off to work to go play policeman, counselor, judge, jury, mother, dictator...

Veronica

10-23-2008, 06:48 AM

What is it with the constant talking?! My class never shuts up either. Whatever happened to, "Don't talk when an adult is talking?" They are so rude to other adults at our school. The librarian hates my class... the noon supervisors hate my class... the PE teacher... the sub I had yesterday...

And everything is about me! (meaning each individual child) I don't think I have ever had such a selfish, self absorbed class before.

I wonder if there was something in the air when these kids were born....

Do what you can to keep your sanity.

Veronica

Tri Girl

10-23-2008, 03:16 PM

The librarian hates my class... the noon supervisors hate my class... the PE teacher... the sub I had yesterday...

I know what you mean. I have a hard time finding a sub. I have to have surgery next month and it's pulling teeth to find someone who will actually sit in a room with my class for 5 days.

I wonder if there was something in the air when these kids were born....

Do what you can to keep your sanity.

Veronica

I wonder the same thing... :rolleyes:

You try to keep your sanity, too. We'll make it through... I hope.

I measure my days by how many glasses of wine it'll take to take the edge off when I get home.
Today is a 4 glass day. Not a good one. There were tears (and some of them were mine).

Veronica

10-23-2008, 03:52 PM

I measure my days by how many glasses of wine it'll take to take the edge off when I get home.
Today is a 4 glass day. Not a good one. There were tears (and some of them were mine).

Ohhh... that's not good.

How is that you are seeing all the 5th graders? Did your school do some sort of reorganizing thing?

One of the other 5th grade teachers told me today that I am the only sane one on our staff because I keep my job in perspective. It is just a job. We have a "Martha Stewart" type teacher on our staff. Her room is always perfect. She's on all sorts of committees, working on her Master's. Her job is her passion. That's great for her. Trouble is... she thinks it should be that way for all of us. Nope - it's my job.

I don't feel like I keep it in perspective sometimes. Nights when I'm lying awake trying to figure how to set up my room so that A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I J and K are all separated from each other...

How about yoga instead of wine?

Veronica

Brandy

10-23-2008, 04:42 PM

Veronica,

I don't know how you do it. I have a ten year old boy. Just one. Not 30. OMG. He drives me insane. I keep on top of communication with his teacher, who is great, by the way. He's currently grounded for failing math (already) and lying to his father and myself about unfinished work that he has in addition to his homework packet. I feel out of the loop sometimes because he's with me half the week and his dad the other half. I don't always get informed of what's going on, so I emailed her and she filled me in.

This kid sees NO REASON that he needs to know math?!?!???! He also wants a new teacher because "the other 5th grade teacher is nicer." For the record...his teacher is awesome and really likes him, he's doing really well in all other areas, she thinks he's a great kid with zest for learning, etc. I'm all "no way!!" If you did your work, you wouldn't have any problems! Oh, and by the way...next year, in middle school, no one is going to baby you! You're going to be responsible for writing down your assignments, you might not get the nicest teachers and you know what...tough cookies...learn to adapt, do your work and you'll get through it! Grrrrrr....

Anyway...just giving you hugs because I am finding this age to be the toughest so far, as a parent. :o

Tri Girl

10-23-2008, 05:15 PM

I see all the kids because we are departmentalized (which I'm discovering I don't like). I teach SS to all the 5th graders, and Language Arts to my homeroom only. It has benefits (less preps), but far more drawbacks (104 papers a day to grade- everyday, 104 parents to deal with, 104 problems).
Today I had the kid who started crying uncontrollably because he couldn't think of what to write for his essay (even tho we spent 20 min. brainstorming together), the kid who sat and stared at me with a death glare then refused to answer me and just rolled his eyes, the kid who I have to remind every 30 seconds to get back on task and work (he writes one sentence every 30 minutes), and the kid who threw his chair because I apparently was asking something ridiculous of him: to do his work. Grrrrrr.... (ok- enough griping- I'm sorry).

They were small glasses if it makes you feel any better about my blooming alcoholism. ;) I'm normally someone who works out all the time, but since school has started I've only worked out 2 days. That's it. I have absolutely no mental or physical energy when I get home. I'm so drained from the day. I know that's the perfect time to blow off some steam, but it's just not happening. I can't even muster the focus it takes to go for a run or walk (let alone have the mental focus to ride). I usually just zone out in front of the tv or read a book to escape my world.

One quarter down, 3 to go. At least it's not the first day of school...:p

And Martha Stewart? Hey- I've got one, too. She's Nationally Board Certified and thinks it's the best thing ever, and tells you all the time. Big deal. The teacher across the hall from me is best friends with the principal, and a 10 year old at heart. No matter what I say, she goes and tells on me. She's always trying to bait me into saying things and I always come back with the opposite of what she's wanting to hear. It makes her so mad, and I'm so evil that I love it.

maillotpois

10-23-2008, 05:39 PM

Anyway...just giving you hugs because I am finding this age to be the toughest so far, as a parent. :o

Wait til you hit pre-teen/teenage GIRL (don't you also have a girl?). OY!!! :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

Veronica

10-23-2008, 05:57 PM

Do you use Scott Foresman SS?

That's what we use. You know this is the first year I've ever actually finished Unit 1. :cool: Usually I just don't have enough time.

I decided I wasn't going to use our Lang. Arts series much this year. The workbook is lame. A lot of the stories are lame. We read Sign of the Beaver and then we did Unit 1 in Soc. St. on Native Americans. We read one story from the lit. series, A Boy Called Slow.

We have our first benchmark test next week. I'm anxious to see how the kids do compared to the other two classes. One teacher has done a lot with the LA series. The other is kind of in between the two of us. Fortunately we all get along really well, so if one of us is more successful, it doesn't matter.

Brandy stay on your kid. Be a harda$$! Although I bet he can be as stubborn and determined as mom. :D

MP I don't envy you the teen years. But you've built a good relationship with PP. In ten years, she'll love you again and thank you for being a great mom.

Veronica

Crankin

10-24-2008, 04:41 AM

Well, I just feel bad for you Tri-Girl. I got Nat. Board certified about ten years ago. I did the work, kept it to myself, and took the money the state gave me for it... even when I was the biggest workaholic around, I still made time for the rest of my life. I don't know why teachers are such b****es to each other. OK guys, I can say this because I was a teacher for 31 years. I worked in 8 different places and it was the same everywhere; just varying degrees.
I taught SS to fifth graders for 2 years, along with LA to my HR. But I only had a team of 70 kids. After that, I just did LA in gr. 6 or 7. Yes, the work load is tough, but I preferred it to having to teach more than one subject.
One of the reasons I quit the job I had before my last job is that they were going to make me use a "series" to teach LA. I felt like I was being punished because I could teach skills and strategies within the context of a holistic approach. It's a lot more work, but definitely more fun. No one believed me when I said I would quit, but after I burst out in tears at a curriculum meeting, they sort of got the idea I was serious. I was just lucky someone else hired me, with 22 years experience. I had to do a lot of negotiating for the salary, but miraculously, they "found" an extra 15K over what they had budgeted for the position.
I had dinner the other night, with one of my former colleagues. I'll just say that I felt really good about my decision to quit. For the first time in my life, I am dealing with adults all day long.

Tri Girl

10-24-2008, 05:03 AM

Do you use Scott Foresman SS?

That's what we use. You know this is the first year I've ever actually finished Unit 1. :cool: Usually I just don't have enough time.

Acutally, we do use that book. I like it, but our district has us moving so fast that I don't get time to get into it like I'd like. We just took our first benchmark test and my classes did terrible. 70 is passing, and I think I had about 60-70 percent of each class pass. Sad. And it's not because we didn't spend time reviewing (I gave a study guide, we spent a week preparing...)

Anyhow- I don't get to read to my classes because we switch every 55 min. I barely get to read to my homeroom class, but I take 15 min. out of L. Arts (out of a 35 min block) to read to them. I just read The Kid Who Ran For President and now I'm reading the sequel. They love it.
I miss being self contained. At least then I had control over the time, and if I had 5 little toots, then I only had to deal with them- not the 30 in all the classes.
Oh well- a job or career change is definitely in order next year. I'm probably going to leave teaching for a while. I don't know what I'll do, but I'll find something. I can go back to retail, or something. I won't make as much money, but I don't care. I'm willing to take a hit in the checkbook and save my sanity.