lease question

[li10up]

I know some ladies here have some backgrounds in law and I need help. I co-signed a one year lease for my sister 14 months ago. I wasn't comfortable doing it but I did. The landlord said that I was on the hook indefinitely unless my sister signed a new lease. Is this right? If so, how can I get out from under this potential debt? BTW, we are in TX.

[Tuckervill]

Why won't she sign another lease?

There is probably a month-to-month clause, which means at the end of the 12 months, the lease continues in effect on a month to month basis (basically the term of the lease then goes to just 30 days, and renews automatically every 30 days). In that case, you ARE on the hook, because the lease is still in effect until she moves, they evict her, or she signs a new lease.

You need to get off that lease right away. But if she's paying month to month according to the terms of her lease, and she's going to move out within a month or two, there's no rush. If she's going to renew it, she needs to sign a new lease without you. They already know she can make the rent every month, so they have no reason to require you to still be on it.

Karen

[SouthernBelle]

I'm a lawyer and the laws differ from state to state. But what Tucker said is pretty much correct.

If your sister continues as a month-to-month renter indefinitely, You can probably give 30 days notice that effective at the beginning of the next month you are no longer responsible. However, that could also have the effect of the landlord giving sis 30 days notice to move.

YMMV by state.

[Flur]

As a signer of the lease you should have received a copy. If you didn't contact the landlord for a copy. The lease should explain the terms for default and the notice required to break the lease (important to know). You should also check the state and/or city laws regarding what happens when a lease term is completed and how/if you are liable at that point. Not all municipalities are the same. It's also important that you know if, when and by how much the landlord can raise the rent.

If it were me, and the lease was going to a month-to-month, rather than making her sign a new lease (often this gives the landlord the ability to raise the rent) I'd require my sister to give me "security" of one month, that would go into a savings account, the same way that it generally does when you give security for a lease. On a month-to-month, you are generally only liable for one month (again, check your local laws), so if your sis defaults you can use the security to cover and it costs you nothing.

[Mr. Bloom]

What about just providing written notification revoking the guaranty? It may not be specifically addressed in the lease, but if you do that, it may nudge the landlord to get a new lease signed...

[li10up]

Thanks for the help everyone. She is on a month-to-month lease right now. I've asked her to sign a new lease but she hasn't done so and I don't think she wants to commit for another year. They've had a few set-backs financially and I've already had to help them out several times. I had to tell her that they are now on their own after this last bailout. I do worry about her but I can't continue to be her safety net and I hate the thought of being in debt to anyone. I thought about writing a letter to the landlord and sending it certified mail but didn't know if that would be binding. Plus, I don't want to force my sister into signing another lease for a year. I guess I'm just stuck.

[ilima]

Don't let your sister take you down with her. Get off the lease ASAP. If she doesn't pay the rent, you're stuck holding the bag. If you go down with her, you will probably end up in a position where you are unable to offer assistance at all.

There are rumors of credit-card lockdowns. You don't want to risk your financial independence.

[Tuckervill]

I'm with Ilima! Do what you can to get off the lease. If she's not going to recommit for a year, that mean she's going to have to move. Some places will make you move if you don't sign a lease after a few months (depending on whether they have people waiting to move in, I guess). They'd rather have someone on a 12 monther than a month-to-month.

Your sister is not treating you right, especially since you've been lending her money. So what if she feels the pressure of signing another lease? She can move and get you out of the bind, or she can stay where she is for another 12 months. She already sees you as a soft-touch; don't be so easy on her anymore.

Karen

[vinbek]

I agree with Karen. We all love our families and we hate to see anyone in a bind, but I sense a trend here. Helping out here and there is ok, but sounds like you are bailing Sis out when she needs it. She might need a dose of "tough love". You will be doing her a favor to let her stand on her own two feet. I would talk with her about what you are willing to do in this situation - set some boundaries - and then do it. It will never feel comfortable - good luck to you.

[Aggie_Ama]

I am not judging you but I agree with the tough love advice. My husband and I agreed never to lend money to our brothers. Neither have very good heads for money, sadly. The only time I have my brother was so down and out he couldn't buy toilet paper. Even then I told him I couldn't help but I did give the money to my mother to give to him, I just didn't want him to think I had those type of resources since it was a large sum. He paid her back every cent which she gave to me without him knowing. He has landed back in binds again but never called me. It killed me to hear he pawned something that meant a lot to him but I felt I did the right thing. If I had the door open to lending money he would have that item but not the lesson. Good luck it is always so delicate with family!

[Tuckervill]

I heard my son was too broke to buy toilet paper, and I was happy to hear that he started going to the Exxon up the street to use the bathroom instead!

At least he wasn't stealing or begging for money. He and his girlfriend came through their brain-mush period and have good jobs, two new (PAID FOR) cars, and a house and he'll be 24 this November.

Karen

[li10up]

The thing is.....I haven't loaned her money....I just gave it to her. I thought her owing me money would end up causing us problems. But $5000 later I think giving her money outright is causing problems anyhow...at least for me. I'm starting to feel like I'm being used. It's really hard...I make quite a bit more than she does and almost feel guilty about it. But it's kind of like the ant and the grasshopper story. She spent her younger years partying and having a good time while I worked full time and went to school at night. It still doesn't help with the guilty feelings. If I have it shouldn't I be willing to give...even though I'm trying to save for a future retirement? As many of you know my DH is a cancer patient so our future is very uncertain...but I guess everyone's is when you get right down to it. I'm really torn as to what to do.

On this last "gift" she had about $500 left over that she didn't use. She didn't return it to me. The next time I saw her she had a fresh cut and new highlights and had been out shopping. It just didn't sit well with me.

I feel like I have an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other...one telling me to help and the other telling me I'm a sucker. Which one do I listen to?

[Tuckervill]

Listen girl, you think she's feeling GUILTY that she took money from you and bought highlights and a haircut while your husband had CANCER?

YOU should NOT be feeling guilty about her not making as much money as you. I know you love your sister and all, but if she had an ounce of maturity, she wouldn't even consider taking money from you in your situation. PUH-Lease stop giving her your money. It's yours. You worked for it. KEEP IT.

And get your name off that lease. It's the least you can do. For her.

Karen

[Blueberry]

I feel like I have an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other...one telling me to help and the other telling me I'm a sucker. Which one do I listen to?

Listen to the angel. But the best thing to do - for both you and your sister - is to stop helping. She needs to grow up, and stand on her own 2 feet. And you need to take care of yourself and your DH - for all of your sakes.

CA

[Aggie_Ama]

Do not feel guilty!! I worked to get through college, sure my parents paid tuition but I worked to stay there mentally and physically held a full time reatil job. My older brother could have done the same but he wanted to drink and hang out with his friends. In my opinion it is one of the reasons we are fiscally in different places.

You don't sound like you were dealt an easy hand, time for her to grow up. Using gift money for highlights shows she has a lot of maturing still needed. It is tough love but I think letting her try to stand on her own two feet is the best thing you can do for her.

[li10up]

Thanks everyone. At least now I don't feel like I'm such a terrible person. I'll support her in whatever way I can - except financially. It won't be easy but I think it's what I have to do.