Would you be offended?

[shootingstar]

A recently-hired new guy has been hired as a safety officer. Friendly, talkative and secure in himself that he has no problems telling others that he does yoga regularily. (Advanced yoga which includes headstands, etc.)

At a baby shower during work lunch hr., some of the other female employees were remarking how he asks others if they are pregnant..and he asks jovially: "Let me hug you"...regardless of what woman answers to the pregnant question.

I think some of the women were offended or at least, very bewildered. I think those who are considerably overweight, were probably quite offended.

I interpret all of this as a tongue-in-cheek remark by him.

By the way, he's never tried the joke on me..I don't know why. But he first met me in my cycling gear...on my way home. We had a pleasant chat for over an hr. where I first learned of his yoga passion, working life in sub-Arctic Canada... I do think he is just genuinely nice guy, no harm but just doesn't fit the mold of "typical" guys at our construction site.

And if I was asked if I was pregnant, my response would be: "Are you kiddin'? I'm way past fertile years.."

[Irulan]

It's none of his business.

[sundial]

At a baby shower during work lunch hr., some of the other female employees were remarking how he asks others if they are pregnant..and he asks jovially: "Let me hug you"...regardless of what woman answers to the pregnant question.

It sounds like he masks his inappropriate behavior by *celebrating* the pregnancy.

[Blueberry]

I'd be offended. It's none of his business, and I'm really funny about hugging at work. Just doesn't feel right to me, no matter what the reason.

CA

[Irulan]

In some places, that would be considered sexual harrassment.

[OakLeaf]

In some places, that would be considered sexual harrassment.

Yep. And in the USA, the boss and/or the company could be jointly liable for failing to correct the hostile environment. I'd report this guy to the company's EEO officer ASAP. Talk to him privately if you want, but don't let it end there.

[wildhawk]

According to our company policy, it is definately sexual harassment. That having been said, it is up to the person he has offended to make a report. However, our company told us recently that all it takes is for a manager or someone walking by to hear or observe the harassment and it will automatically go into investigation by our HR department. As an overweight female I would be one of the ones to be offended. I am sure that he is a nice guy and probably does not realize that his little joke is offensive. I think if one of my co-workers did that to me I would pull him aside and let him know that it is offensive and see if he changes his behavior. If he does not, then I would report it. Working in the largely male populated printing industry over the years, I have been exposed to various things that would be considered offensive: dirty jokes, crude language, offensive comments made regarding females, etc. The one time I complained to management was when one of my illustrious male co-workers on a previous job thought it would be hilarious to put pornographic images into a proof set for my client - the late Reverend Jerry Falwell. Luckily I always checked the proofs before meeting with the client and discovered them. I showed them to my manager and the HR manager = they appeared to be offended, but the next day I was reprimanded and told that “I did not understand the male sense of humor of the art director since I was the only female in the design department” and that the art director knew I would check the proofs so no harm was done. I would have to learn to “get along” with my male co-workers and if I could not then perhaps I should seek employment elsewhere. The HR manager was a female too. I gave notice the following week, moved to Florida and I have been with my current company over 18 years. My current employer takes every complaint seriously, investigates it anonymously and thoroughly and has an outstanding harassment policy. Sorry this is lengthy, just wanted to share one of my experiences and how reporting harassment can backfire sometimes.

[Zen]

That's just bizarre.
Sounds like the makings of an SNL bit.

[Duck on Wheels]

Maybe try giving the guy a friendly suggestion that he stop this before somebody reports it as sexual harrassment ...? If he's a genuinely nice guy, but a bit bewildered and socially inept, then he should be able to learn.

[Mr. Bloom]

I'm confused...is he asking it as yoga classes or at work?

[shootingstar]

I'm confused...is he asking it as yoga classes or at work?

He's making the joke at work.

I think he's learning or senses he had better be aware of his jokes/remarks ..because he stopped himself from saying something to me after he poked his head into my department work area and noticed there was another employee working in the same rm.

I have not idea what he wanted to say, but it wasn't anything probably important nor urgent. He works different shifts so if I catch him one day, to tell him of the baby showe conversation about him. Otherwise, I would have had no other anectdotal "evidence" to tell him....I don't socialize alot with many of these women at work.

I am quite amused how the other women employees complain how much he likes to talk (harmless stuff), yet these same women talk ALOT on the job.

[fastdogs]

I guess I don't get the joke, so I would be offended- I'd answer none of your business to the pregnant question, and no to the hug question.
So he's just asking people if they are pregnant, and regardless how they answer, asks if he can give them a hug?
That's just weird; not funny weird either, just strange creepy weird.
vickie

[Biciclista]

i would be offended but i wouldn't let him hug me either.
totally inappropriate whether pregnant or not.

[Tuckervill]

I don't get the joke, either. But, I'm a hugger. I probably wouldn't hug him at work, but in a social setting, I probably would.

Karen

[Andrea]

I don't think I'd care, but if he's just being nice/trying to be funny, you should probably clue him in that some ladies don't appreciate his joke.

[smilingcat]

Why are you making excuses for him?

I don't have to say too many words to get across the idea that this isn't okay. And no I'm not a cold bi*&chy fish. When someone tried to give me a hug, I pushed him away and told him, "I don't like it and don't try it again."

I had one guy who filed a complaint against me, retaliation for something I did work wise. I stare at the ground thinking often and I walk around. I stop. Then stare at the sky, mumble few thing and repeat this process from time to time. His claim was I was looking at my breasts. :rolleyes: and it made him feel uncomfortable. This can be construed as sexual harassment. I even checked with a lawyer about this and yes, looking at ones breast can be considered sexual harassment. The rub here is I was staring at the ground mumbling to myself. That boy needs to check into a monestary.

Sheesh