"Tomboy"...old-fashioned word?

[shootingstar]

Have noticed that some people under various topics in TE, have described themselves as a tomboy when they were young...

In my narrow, naive(?) world (or small mind :o)..."tomboy" just sounds a tad old-fashioned word for today..when girls and women are freer to look, act and become what they wish to be

"Tomboy" sounds like a curious word to me..'cause when growing up with sisters who were and are ..still similar..direct in style and communication, pragmatic, aggressive or competitive if called upon....

so from there, venturing into the bigger external world..of meeting and knowing more girls and women over the decades...it never occurred to me, to view others as tomboyish vs. more "feminine". Visage/appearance/public behaviour on distant/first impressions, can be misleading.

[lph]

I think it's probably a bit old-fashioned to use for girls growing up today, but for grown women who were children 20-30-40 years ago I've just assumed it reflects the way they felt about themselves at the time - that they behaved or acted in a more "boyish" way than was expected of girls at that time or in their particular social setting.

Even though the tomboy concept is outdated you still find IMO that activities that require courage, persistence and physical effort are considered masculine (and have higher status) than activities that require sensitivity, empathy, attention to detail, that are considered feminine and have lower status. People are impressed that my dh can cook, clean and remember our son's shoe size - but they're a lot more impressed when I do outdoorsy stuff. It's pretty unfair.

[Pax]

Tomboy was used as a way to (unnecessarily IMO) soften the societal view of "unfeminine" behavior. I always bristled when it was applied to me and would reply "no, I'm an athlete".

I'm glad girls today don't have to deal with this as much.

[singletrackmind]

Whatever you wanna call 'em, there's still 'girly' girls and tomboys.....and everything in between.

Whilst the girly ones can and are sometimes raised to believe they can do anything they set their minds to they aren't interested in the mechanics or rough and tumble of everyday life.

Tomboys, on the other hand, are interested in what makes things go in a more physical manner and not so much how they should look or act.


The line between feminine and tomboy has fuzzed but since it's a matter of interests and inclinations rather than of what girls can or can't do even though it's archaic it still rings true.

[bmccasland]

Girls play under the trees

Tomboys play IN the trees.

I used my tree climbing skills to pull down broken branches from my neighbor's hurricane Gustav damaged tree last week. Never know when those skills may come in handy. :cool:

[andtckrtoo]

ITA with the other posters. I have two daughters. A true girlie girl and a tomboy. The funny thing is how they managed to balance each other out very well, but DD19 is all about clothes and hair, and DD16 is all about bikes and Tae Kwon Do. The only thing they do have in common is that they are both all about boys. :rolleyes: But, they both have guys interested in them - and I think that is a big difference between when I was growing up and now.

[Miranda]

I was a Tomboy, still technically am in ways, and so is my DD. I call her Tomboy all the time. I know I am old fashioned in ways and don't mind being so... using the word doesn't bother me. Or DD as far as I know. She's happy being a Tomboy versus a girly girl. To her, pink is the anti-Christ (right now). It was to me too. Now, I think it's even more fun to wear the pink while doing the ruff and tuff boy stuff:D.

IMHO :o ,I think Tomboys go beyound the color pink and sports. Myself, and a couple of my best GFs, think more like guys. I do not like the mind games of gossip, and passive-agressive conflict resolution. If you have something to say, or vice versa, tell it straight up. Then it's over. No drama.

I see it all the time at my gym, adult "girls" gossiping in the corner about whatever or whoever. Direct ugly conflict would be, well... "not so pretty" or not "sugar and spice and everything nice". So, you show the ugly in another more "appropriate" :rolleyes: (BLEAH) softer way.

There is a lot of drama at school with the girls too DD tells me about (nothing has changed from when I was a girl as I can see). She says, "mom, I just don't get it... this is stupid... I'm glad I'm a Tomboy and my friends that are boys don't do this stuff (aka gossip, back-stab, mix-it-up drama, etc.)...".

It would be nice if that would become "old fashioned" and go away, but I just don't see as of yet, unfortunately.

Oh, and btw... multiple broken bone Tomboy here... I finally encountered a tree that got the best of me and broke my arm... but, I still figured out how to climb with a cast on:cool:.

[Iris616]

I use the word "Tomboy" To describe my 5 yo. It was and is used to describe me. I see it as kind of a "badge of honor".

It's true that more girls are into sports, but that doesn't make them tomboys. Note all the pink baseball and soccer equipment that can be purchased now. My DD would refuse to touch a pink baseball bat, or football, or basketball.

But it's more than playing sports (IMO). It's her attitude and interests and how she views the world that makes her a "Tomboy".

[Flur]

I use the word "Tomboy" To describe my 5 yo. It was and is used to describe me. I see it as kind of a "badge of honor".

+1. Tomboy and proud. I might be in the minority but I love the term. No matter what rights women have, there will always be girls that are into dolls and girls that are into cars.

I look forward to the day when it is just as acceptable for boys to be into dolls as it has become for girls to be into cars.

[oxysback]

My 15 year old daughter is a self-proclaimed tomboy. She has a few friends that are girls, but the majority are guys. She's like Miranda's daughter...she doesn't tolerate the gossip and backstabbing. Instead of sitting around talking about boys, she talks to them. And you know what? Most of the guys she hangs out with are lining up to date her when she turns 16.

And yes, she loathes pink! :p

[indigoiis]

I was not very good at most sports.
I wrote poetry and hacked all of the hair off of my bride doll.
I climbed trees.
I didn't envision my future husband, but I did imagine holding hands with Barry Manilow walking through the park while he sang "Can't smile without you"
I thought dirt was cool. Still do.
I like to climb rocks still, and some trees.
I don't wear makeup, but I wear jewelry.

And I think of myself as a tomboy still.

[sundial]

I am a tomboy by southern standards. I think this word has different meanings--and uses--depending on the region you live. For instance, the word "skinny". This has a negative connotation in some regions but in the south it's a standard word for "slender".

[Biciclista]

I was definitely a Tomboy. While my girly-girlfriend squealed at the sight of bugs and mud and stuff like that, I jumped right into it. While she wore white clothing and didn't get dirty; I was proud of the mud on my feet and never was squeamish either.

To my surprise, I didn't get the opportunity to raise a Tomboy daughter, instead I raised two sons who were incredibly different from my tomboy child self, THEY were real boys. But both of them tend to be attracted to Tomboys. Hehehe

[bikerHen]

Another proud tomboy. I've been one my whole life and figure my life has been better for my tomboyish way. I always felt that I've had more fun than my more girlie girlfriends. While I was outside riding my skateboard or bike, climbing trees or playing in the dirt they were inside swooning over the lastest movies, movie stars, clothes and make up. Please! To this day I could careless about those things. Give me the great outdoors. Go out and enjoying life and get good and dirty doing it. It's much more fun than shopping. :p

Yes, in this PC world tomboy is more than likely some sort of awful lable. But at 52 I'm proud to still call myself a tomboy! :D bikerHen

[GLC1968]

I was called a Tomboy. I used to ask why it was tomBOY and not tomGIRL. :rolleyes:

I was into and good at most sports. I climbed trees and picked up snakes and got dirty. I had LEGOs and Tonka trucks. I also wore dresses and played with Barbies. I didn't learn how to 'flirt' with boys until I was a senior in high school. Up until then, I was too preoccupied with just beating them at everything. :p But I liked jewelry, and hair ribbons and princess movies/stories. And then I liked driving the go-cart and throwing a football (in a perfect spiral, of course).

I think I was a 'gender confused' child? Or maybe just a true jack of all trades. :D

Either way, I never thought 'tomboy' was a bad thing. Of course, I don't think 'girly girl' is a bad thing either. I'm living proof that one woman can be both.

[Iris616]

I was called a Tomboy. I used to ask why it was tomBOY and not tomGIRL. :rolleyes:

Funny... I used to ask the same thing. But I forgot about that until you mentioned it... Maybe I'll have to start calling DD a Tomgirl!:D

[mimitabby]

Bikerhen, you reminded me. When I was about 11 or 12 years old, some well meaning person bought me a tight skirt and fashionable sweater top. THis was when i was still wearing courduroy pants with an elastic and pullover tops.
(I wore a uniform to school and little girl dresses on holidays)
I asked my mother if i had to wear the stuff. Nope, she said...

[RoadRaven]

Yup... tomboy is a time-bound statement from gendered societal expectations.

I was a tomboy, my daughter did the same kind've stuff I did, was was just another girl... Its one positive improvement in society over the past 30 years.

If you get a chance, listen to the song "When I was a Boy" by Dar Williams.
It gives a great explaination/feeling of tom-boyish-ness and society's expectations for girls - and also for boys... She's explaining what she could do when she was a 'boy', but how now she is a grown woman, society constrains her behaviour. Very clever and a very pretty, easy tune to listen to.
Lyrics below.

I won’t forget when Peter Pan came to my house, took my hand.
I said I was a boy, I’m glad he didn’t check.
I learned to fly. I learned to fight. I lived a whole life in one night.
We saved each other’s lives out on the pirate deck.
And I remember that night when I’m leaving a late night with some friends
And I hear somebody tell me it’s not safe, someone should help me.
I need to find a nice man to walk me home.
When I was a boy, I scared the pants off of my mom
Climbed what I could climb up on
And I don’t know how I survived, I guess I knew the tricks that all boys knew
And you can walk me home, but I was a boy too.

I was a kid that you would like, just a small boy on her bike
Riding topless, yeah, I never cared who saw.
My neighbour came outside to say, “Get your shirt,” I said “No way,
it’s the last time I’m not breaking any law.”
And now I’m in a clothing store, and the signs say Less is More
More that’s tight means more to see, more for them, not more for me
That can’t help me climb a tree in ten seconds flat.
When I was a boy, see that picture? That was me.
Grass-stained shirt and dusty knees.
And I know things have gotta change, they got pills to sell, they’ve got implants to put in, they’ve got implants to remove
But I am not forgetting
That I was a boy too.

And like the woods where I would creep, it’s a secret I would keep
Except when I’m tired, except when I’m being caught off guard.
I’ve had a lonesome awful day, the conversation finds it way
To catching fireflies out in the backyard.
And I tell the man I’m with about the other life I’ve lived
And I say now you’re top gun, I have lost and you have won
And he says, “ Oh no, oh no, can’t you see
when I was a girl, my mom and I, we always talked
I picked flowers everywhere that I walked.
And I could cry all the time, now even when I’m alone I seldom do
And I have lost some kindness,
But I was a girl too.
And you were just like me, and I was just like you.”

[Biciclista]

Road Raven, thanks for the wonderful song. I never heard of it, but the words are wonderful.

[Crankin]

I guess I was a tomboy when I was very young (4-8 years old). I had all this play military equipment, a tent, and I used to make all of the boys in the neighborhood march behind me as I barked out orders to them (no wonder my son joined the Marines :eek:). I was always outdoors, playing in the woods, streams, etc. I loved nature. But, I was a klutz and not good at sports. I did ice skating, but it was not that fun for me. I DID ride my bike a lot, though. On the other hand, i played with dolls and never minded wearing dresses.
I have always liked clothes and make up, but ran away from pink even as a kid. When I got into my teens, at the height of the 60's I became somewhat wild and i am glad I did! I also became pragmatic, assertive, etc. Liking girl stuff and being assertive are not necessarily incompatible. I have been told at work many times that I "think like a man." Huh? I guess that's what allowed me to segment my life, never feel guilty about working with young kids, or to be open and honest with everyone. I don't have any daughters, but I do have two of the least sexist young adult sons around. Of course it helped to have a husband who instilled these values, along with me.

[SlowButSteady]

Before this thread, I hadn't heard this term or thought about it in years.

It certainly was applied to me often enough. My mother has always said I had "gender identification issues."

I'm more tomboyish than my husband and my son put together!

[DirtDiva]

Back to the original question...

I teach 10-12 year-olds, and in my class I have three girls who could be considered "tomboys": the girl with short hair and boys clothes, the girl who hates anything "girly" purely and simply because it tends not to be sports, the girl who has friends who are boys. Never once have I heard the word "tomboy" applied to any of them, so I think to kids it is an outdated word at least. :)

[RoadRaven]

Road Raven, thanks for the wonderful song. I never heard of it, but the words are wonderful.

So glad you like it. I use it with my students when we are discussing gender issues and how "hidden" assumptions are so taken for granted...
Here's Dar's home page. You should be able to find a soundbyte there

http://www.darwilliams.com/

I couldn't get her music in NZ when this came out. We found her by 'chance'.

My partner and I have both been fans of Joan Baez, who (as well as her own songs) has made a point of singing songs by "unknown" artists. So when we hear Joan sing something we like, we research the songwriter.

Thats how we found Richard Shindell... and via him we found Dar Williams and Lucy Kaplansky... all of whom we have had to import to our CD shelves as local shops do not stock their music.