How do you get past your demons?

[bike4ever]

Long story short, one of my good friends crashed very hard about 10 days ago on a trail I ride regularly. I cleared three water bars (small jumps) then looked for her behind me. She wasn't there. She seriously landed on her face. I didn't see her go down, but I ran back up the trail to her week calls of help.

I got her to the ER with many stitches on her cheek, chin and inside her mouth. She crushed her helmet. She had a concussion and took staples in her arm.

So this morning, I was leading a small group in the same area. I originally did not want to do the same trail - wanted to turn before the jumps. Since we were running out of time for one person, I lead us down the same trail. I figured I could push through the sight. I completely and totally froze at the 2nd water bar (the one she crashed on originally). I was so ticked at myself and ended up in tears by the bottom of the trail.

So how do you rid yourself of cycling demons? I'm thinking I will go backwards on this trail Thursday to climb her crash sight as opposed to descending it. Maybe I'll got up, down, up and down again multiple times. Suggestions?

[mimitabby]

You just have to keep trying. When a TE friend here had an accident I became rather phobic about certain areas and I wasn't even involved in the accident. You have to keep trying and eventually (if you WANT to) you'll get through it.
sorry to hear about your friend!

[singletrackmind]

Same way as you did when you first started riding things you don't like, keep at it. Ok, what mimitabby said. It comes back but sometimes it takes a little bit of trying and a little bit of having your mind happen to be off topic when you go through it to the point you don't really realize 'til you've already got by.

Like when you're chasing someone down the trail and there's no time to think.

Hope your friend is doing well. :)

[bike4ever]

Thanks for the help. I knew you guys would pull through. The stinker on this whole thing is my friend has no recollection of the events once she crashed. She doesn't remember the day until later that night after she returned home from the ER. I on the other hand remember everything.

[Tabby]

Yeah, I'm sorry to hear about your friend, too. If you aren't comfortable riding the area (even at a slower pace than normal), walk it. You'll get back to it in your usual fashion ... back to baby steps. That may seem rather symplistic ... I'm a beginner, but sounds like it would help.

Have you talked with your friend about it? How does she feel about getting herself back on a bike when she's better? Is it an area you gals can walk to together? I'm just tossing out questions as ideas. Keep us posted on your progress.

[bike4ever]

Tabby - thanks for the suggestions. She a professional road racer so she's been back on the bike for a week now. She's off to Superweek tomorrow in Wisconsin. I've been riding since now also - just have issues with that one part of our popular trail.

[boy in a kilt]

Fear is the mind killer. If you face your demons now, it will diminish their power over you. If you let your demons control you, it will only get worse.

I hope that doesn't sound like macho bravado. I have more than my fair share of demons (PTSD is SO fun) and the ones that still kick my butt are the ones I haven't faced down yet. It's scary as all hell, but not as scary as the alternative.

[Tabby]

Tabby - thanks for the suggestions. She a professional road racer so she's been back on the bike for a week now. She's off to Superweek tomorrow in Wisconsin. I've been riding since now also - just have issues with that one part of our popular trail.

I guess trail demons aren't reserved for beginners (like me) and can strike at every level. I'm sure you'll get beyond that one part all in due time! Keep pushin' them further away each time.

PJ

[atombessy]

I have to post and run, but this article came up in Dirt Rag recently that addresses biking fears...I liked reading it mostly to see someone who works in the bike industry talk about her issues and admit that she works hard on overcoming mental obstacles!....neat editorial...deals a little more with general fears rather than accidents....


Becoming Un-Wimpy: One Person's Journey Toward Mountain Bike Bravery
by Karen Brooks

http://www.dirtragmag.com/print/article.php?ID=1051&category=features

[singletrackmind]

You know at least one of us really wants to ask which trail and whereabouts on it.....

The Chubb steps got me. Rode them a lot, crashed hard awhile ago, and haven't made myself ride 'em again. Now I'm not sure I could get up the gumption to try 'em again....
I've done many many biffs and bashes and made myself ride the trouble spots again, not allowing myself to think about it or hesitate or go too slow over. Those I can still ride. Should've done that with the steps...

[bmccasland]

I'm not a MTB'er - but us road riders have demons too.... I had great satisfaction riding past the spot on a previous MS-Tour where I had a bad asthma attack. Didn't have to go to the hospital, but they did take my bike away from me..."baby, you're done for today".

So knowing the place was coming up, I had to make it past that place. Let out a Yippee! as I passed, which confused the riders around me.

Get out there, on the trail again. :cool:

Hope your friend is doing better. But she may never remember the ride, even if she goes on the trail again.

[bike4ever]

singletrackmind - Castlewood, water bars on Grotpeter down hill before the nasty tree root. She cleared the first water bar and toasted the second. She actually landed at the third.

[NbyNW]

Demons are funny animals . . . you saw something terrible happen to your friend, and clearly empathized with her pain, so that causes you to be cautious when returning to the scene of her mishap.

It's a fine line between facing them sooner rather than later and giving yourself time to emotionally process what you saw and REASON with yourself that while your friend got hurt at this spot, you can be alert and negotiate the trail safely. You may have to go over that spot with different speeds, different lines, etc., in order for it to feel like it's no different from any other trail you ride. You may always associate it with your friend's accident. Maybe that red light that goes off in your head when your on that section of trail is preventing you from also getting hurt.

Give yourself time if you need it, then face the demons when you're good and ready. To the extent that you have control over your exposure to things that trigger those fears and anxiety, take on what you feel you can handle and leave the rest for when you are ready.

My PTSD symptoms started 5-6 months after my accident. (Months 1-5 I was just happy to be alive and able to wiggle my toes) I got some therapy, then the anxiety and fear came back about 8 months later when I took a new job and had to walk past several construction sites to get to my office. Apparently my triggers are construction sites and sculpture parks. The second time I had symptoms I was better equipped to deal with them.

I may never revisit the scene of my accident. It was in Guatemala, so I'd have to go out of my way. and I don't see a reason to.

Some demons may never completely go away. Chalk it up to some keenly developed self-preservation instincts. Trust your Spidey-sense.

[boy in a kilt]

This would be scary as hell, but try riding it with her again. Maybe a different line, in the other direction or just slower. If she's having issues with it too, her cleaning the section will help both of you.

I don't have many memories of my accident either. Just a few flashes and that's plenty. I do pass the scene fairly regularly but it doesn't bother me. But, if I'm ever at that intersection again on a rainy march evening (say around 6:34 p.m.) listen to the song "Sentimental Lady" by Bob Welch, the situation may change. Right now, my only serious trigger is the smell of barbecuing chicken.

[singletrackmind]

singletrackmind - Castlewood, water bars on Grotpeter down hill before the nasty tree root. She cleared the first water bar and toasted the second. She actually landed at the third.

Oooh, one of my favorite spots ever! The loose rocks! The drop-offs! The hairy bend at the end with the tree! :D:D:D
Totally understandable why you'd get some heebies after seeing a crash there as it's one of those spots you hit at speed to nail it yet are never totally in control. It's worth it to get your mojo back for that, ok, it's essential to regain your mojo for that stretch. A few good unthinking runs of it will get you back on track, if you can get your noggin to knock off the thinking part.

That nasty root is one of my demons. I ride it, but I don't like it. A little speed (why can't it be a straightaway) and thinking of something else helps. That and a little bit of adrenaline from that downhill.

Don't miss out. You've ridden it without trouble before, you can do it again. :)
If it takes baby steps so what? Ride one, get some confidence, ride two, get those down and fly, baby!

For what it's worth concerning your friend (not much) I've had one of those blank spot accidents. Ten years later and I still don't remember a thing. Woke up after 5 minutes (I'm told) with a broken collarbone and nasty concussion but other than a mild balance problem for a few years after my biking psyche was unaffected. Like you, I've been more influenced by the crashes I remember and sometimes it takes a bit but so far minus those darned steps the bit has come back along and once the trouble maker was cleared successfully a time or few I'm gotten back on track.
Kudos to you for riding it in the first place, it's a tough spot. A very sweet tasty but still, tough spot. :)

(ramble ramble ramble)