R.I.P. beloved bike guardian, euthanasia...

[Miranda]

I had posted before about the bike thieves at our house, and my dog being too sick to bark to deter them. I appreciate all of the supportive advice in the thread asking about the euthanasia procedure since this was a first for me.

After a very long talk with the vet at week's end, it seemed to be time. I know you gals told me I would know when "it was time". She had gotten worse last few days, and last night as I watched her trying to rest her breathing was so belabored. I thought... this is what they mean... "it's time".

Of course with the scent and sight of other animals, car ride excitement etc., she acted better when we got her to the vet's office. He said the office is a stimulus, and first thing he remarked when he laid eyes on her was, "wow, she has gotten a lot worse since I saw her last". btw... the vet did offer to have someone come to our home, which they don't just do for anyone, but the idea made DH upset.

DH and DS left the procedure room after their hugs goodbye, DD, though only 10yrs old, really wanted to stay with me. DH was hesitant, but I thought if it would help closure, it should be allowed.

She was wiggly on the table, so the tech kinda hugged/held her neck. I thought I would have a chance to hug and hold her as she drifted off. The medicine acted so quickly, she was gone in seconds. I didn't realize it at first, and the vet confirmed that she indeed had left us.

I felt like I needed to stay with her to close the question in my mind that she would not die yelping out in pain. She did not. The vet hugged me, and his assistant did too as she cried as well. They said we could stay as long as we needed to say our final goodbyes. DH and DS changed their minds and decided to see her one last time as well. They left, then DD and I hugged her. I kissed her beautiful velvet vanilla carmel swirled snout one last time, then we left.

If you don't know, labs LOVE to swim. Something that brought my heart not just happiness, but pure joy was watching her passion in the water.

I felt the need when I got home to take my mtb to our favorite trail by the creek. DH said as I left, "umm, you realize it's raining, right?". Yes I did. I thought it befitting that mother nature would shed her beautiful tears of water in a gentle summer rain on the last day of my water loving dog's life.

I rode our trail in the rain, reflecting on all our good times. When I returned to her favorite swimming spot, the rain had stopped. The sun was shining down through the branches onto the water. I took that as a sign it was time to bring it in and head home.

The vet uses a creamatory service for the euthanasia bodies. I called them and will get my furbaby's ashes back. I intend to set her free at her favorite swim site I rode to today. I hope her passion will live on in peace.

Thanks for letting me share. It's just really really really hard:(.

Miranda

This is her favorite spot... very beautiful... watching her swim always calmed my soul as much as riding my bikes does.
http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg230/rotarydial/IMG_0834.jpg

Always her look of excitement pre-trail, "Mom! Are we going to swim?!".
http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg230/rotarydial/IMG_0831.jpg

[LBTC]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Miranda}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Butterflies of peace are surrounding you and guiding your beautiful fur-baby to the rainbow bridge. She'll be greeted there by other TE fur-babies....Yogi and Ted and Norton and Giro and Bill and all the others will show her around.

Her swimming spot is so beautiful! What a touching choice for her ashes.

You've done a difficult, painful and wonderful thing for your fur baby. She knows how much you love her.

Hugs,
~T~

[Red Rock]

Miranda, so sorry to hear of this whole ordeal. your story touched me heart. I grew up with golden retrievers. They are such wonderful dogs. Ours would always love to go play in any form of water.

When my parents had to put him down, it was very hard for them as well because this was the first dog we had had as a family that actually liked everyone. He was so happy all of the time.

I hope that your final burial will be healing for all involved.

Best wishes,
Red Rock

[OakLeaf]

(((((((Miranda)))))))

So sorry for your loss :(

[Velobambina]

She flew right through your heart to heaven.

She looks like she was one happy, loved fluff. What a great life she had here with you and your family. Lucky, lucky puppy bear.

My Agnes, beloved big golden whom I lost to lung cancer last May, will show your sweetie all the best swimming spots in heaven.

You did the right thing--probably one of the most selfless acts of love you can give your trusted dog.

I'll be thinking of you.

[ilima]

I'm so sorry for your family's loss, Miranda. You'll always have memories of her happy face & love of swimming.

[Raindrop]

Your post made me cry. I've had to put down furry family members and the first time, I left the room. But the last two times, I stayed with them (one, a yellow lab like yours, and the other my Great Pyranees), and it is really very peaceful for them; heartbreaking for us, but very peaceful for them which made it easier to bear.

I'm sorry about the loss of your pet.

[emily_in_nc]

Miranda,

I'm so sorry. Losing our dear fur-friends is one of the toughest parts of life. You made a difficult decision out of kindness, but you did what was right. Sending peaceful thoughts to you at this tough time.

Emily

[Tri Girl]

Hugs to you and your family, Miranda.
I'm sorry for your loss; really sad right along with you. I'd been following your posts and was sadly sure that we'd be hearing something soon. :(

I know you'll miss her terribly, but you know in your heart that you did the right thing and now she's running, swimming and frolicking happily over the rainbow bridge with all her new friends. She knows you did right by her.

Sending prayers/good thoughts for healing hearts.

[eclectic]

((((Hugs)))) to you and your family.

Eclectic

[elk]

:(
(((((((((((miranda))))))))))

your photos and story are so beautiful and real and full of love...it put me right there with you....and I love your girl too.

been there too many times...but those last moments with them in your arms are so deep and moving -- we never ever forget them.

[sbctwin]

{{{{Miranda and family}}}} You knew in your heart it was time. The pictures you shared showed your doggie was well loved.

[bmccasland]

((((((((((Miranda and family))))))))))

So sorry to hear the news. :( Branwen the Spaniel will be there to greet her - and show her great places to swim.

[DDH]

((((( Miranda and family )))))

I'm so sorry for you loss. I know it is so very hard. Reading your post brought me to tears knowing the pain you are feeling, and remembering when we went through the very same thing.

I know it breaks your heart. Just remember your heart will recover, but never forget, and it always has room for more love.

[sundial]

I felt the need when I got home to take my mtb to our favorite trail by the creek. I thought it befitting that mother nature would shed her beautiful tears of water in a gentle summer rain on the last day of my water loving dog's life.

Oh Miranda, what a beautiful tribute to a wonderful girl. It seems our wonderful little friends always leave us when we're vulnerable. :( I know it took a lot of courage to gently lead her to the Rainbow Bridge, but I'm sure she knew you truly wanted the best for her. They take a little piece of your heart with them, but they will always leave a warm memory to comfort you. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time.

[solobiker]

(((((((Miranda))))))) I am so sorry for your loss. It brought tears to my eyes. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[Blueberry]

((((((Miranda))))))))

My thoughts are with you - what a beautiful post and tribute to your baby. You did what was right, and the most courageous and kindest thing you could have. I love the idea of sprinkling her ashes. What a wonderful tribute.

CA

[wolfak]

I know everyone has probably said it already, but many hugs. Take some time with the family and pictures and do your best to know your special gal is no longer hurting. The sadness will lessen with time.

In Feb,my DH and I put down a cat that we had since the start of our relationship (7+yrs) and it was heart-wrenching for both of us. Take care!

[aly]

My thoughts are with you. It is so obvious from your post that she was treasured. I have no doubt she knew that. She sounds like a really special girl.

[Trek420]

(((Miranda and family)))) I am so sorry :(

[ladyicon]

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

I hope this helps Miranda. Sorry for your loss :(.

[crazycanuck]

((((Miranda & family)))

Your furry friend still loves you for your kindness :). You're a good human :)

[KnottedYet]

(((((Miranda and family)))))

You did the right thing at the right time and with love.

[Pedal Wench]

We've all shared our stories about losing our precious pets, but for some reason, yours truly touched my heart. What a loving tribute.

PW

[Wahine]

Miranda - what a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It's never easy to put a loved pet to sleep but you did a good job when you needed to do it. I like your idea of taking the ashes to the swimming hole. Very special.

[tc1]

Aw, only 5 years old. I am sorry she had to go so soon. I know you did the best you could. Take care.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Thank you for your story Miranda. I have tears now after reading it. You did very right by your doggie, loved her right to the end.
I've been through this several times- it's always so hard.
Feel better soon.

[Zen]

We've all shared our stories about losing our precious pets, but for some reason, yours truly touched my heart. What a loving tribute.

PW

Indeed.

[Miranda]

Thank you ladies so much for all of your kinds words, support, and sharing of your own lost beloveds. Not everyone in my real life world is so understanding. Your posts mean a lot to me. Also, it helps to know that I am not alone in my feelings.

It took me a bit to get back to the pc to respond. I have discovered that it is hard to be home, especially alone. DH took the children out to do some special activities they enjoy. Normally, this is my special home time with my furbaby. She liked to lay right by my feet at the computer chair. Wherever I went in the house, she was there. Now, she is no where. Physically of course. Her memories are thick. I stayed gone to get some long over due errands done. Even trying to find some receipts in my junk filing cabinet of a purse, there were the vet receipts for her care. Bleah:(.

I know the grieving process will take time. It's interesting when I have commented to people that I just had my dog put down in my saddened disposition. There are three camps: 1) get a new dog soon, it helps to fill the house empty void, even though there's no replacement for the one of kind personality of the lost dog; 2) wait until you fully grieve (not sure what they mean exactly) and then get a new dog, too soon causes more pain, and 3) never get a new dog to avoid going through this pain again.

Well, I can respect each individual position. Very personal choice. On #3, my GF that's a ca survivor says, "to chance is to live... you can't feel the pain of loss, without first having the blessing of love". That makes sense. I think it's worth it. #1 and #2 I'm mixed:confused:.

I do still have the contact information of the breeder we got her from. I also feel compeled to try and contact her to inform her of my furbaby's short life span. I don't know if her condition could be hereditary in any way. I'm thinking it was just her for whatever reason. But, I might call anyway. I'm not even sure if she still breeds. We had to travel to get my baby. Not a hasty decision.

I will take your words of wisdom in my heart as I try to heal.

Miranda

[Miranda]

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

I hope this helps Miranda. Sorry for your loss :(.

I was teary eyed reading all of these supportive responses, but this poem made me just sob. Especially when it got to the part about the doggies running. That helped seal the euthanasia decision. My baby could not have her quality of life she loved. I told DD about exactly this as we cried and hugged... "our doggie is running like a wild thing right now up in the sky, saying look out... here comes the big sweetie!". I have never seen this poem before. I am printing it to keep. Thank You:).

[Blueberry]

Miranda -

I think you'll know when the time is right to consider another furbaby. I would call the breeder when you feel able - she should know. It may help you to talk to her about other litters, but I wouldn't rush in. You'll know when the time is right. Fully done with grieving - no. I still cry sometimes. But I'm starting to remember the happy times more than the sad, and I'm starting to think of another baby. For me, it will be a different breed. I saw a pup in the mall in someone's lap last week who looked just like my Cricket, and just about broke down. Trust yourself, and don't rush into it. Your heart will tell you.

CA

[jesvetmed]

Miranda ... I am so sorry. It sounds like you made the right decision for her, and that you are at peace with it-- even though it is so extremely difficult.

Thanks for the beautiful posting... it still is bringing tears to my eyes. What an absolute beautiful photo of her swimming... my dog and I have a similar spot, and I've had the same thoughts about when she is gone... there is no where else I could think of more appropriate to spread her ashes than at the swimming hole. She lives for that trip up the trail.

I hope your sadness lessens and you have the happy memories of your good days together. Take Care.

[BlueVet11]

I am so sorry Miranda. You did the right thing, and time will heal. You will never replace her, and don't think just because you got another dog you are replacing her. That was my husbands fear when we got a new dog after we lost our Bernese mtn dog. He felt like he was replacing him. Our dogs have a new place in our hearts, but we will never forget our berner.

You will know when you are ready for another dog. What happened with me is my dogs found me. I was ready, my husband was not and I found a dog in bad shape and we ended up keeping her. Same thing with the next one.

The pictures you posted of your girl are beautiful as are things you said about her. I agree that it will be very fitting to bring her back to her favorite swimming spot.

[rij73]

Oh my... just read this post and am crying. You absolutely did the right thing, and I can tell that your sweetie was very well loved. Bless you for giving her a happy life and a peaceful death. It is what I wish for all the animals of the world.

Hang in there and know that there are lots of us who know the pain of losing a beloved companion. Hugs to you...

EDIT: Just read the more recent post about the conflict of whether to get another dog. I too think you will know when it is time. When you are ready, I highly recommend adopting a dog in need from a shelter or foster home. It eliminates the worry and second-guessing about genetics. You would give a loving home to a dog who is already in the world and has had a rough time. There is nothing in my life I have ever felt better about than giving a warm, loving home to my Hudson. He was a parasite-ridden, mangey, mutt, and now he lives like a prince. It's a great thing to do for another being in need, especially when you are in pain.

[hermitclub]

Miranda,

I'm so sorry for your loss but your baby is now at peace and can run and jump and swim with all those that have already crossed over the rainbow bridge. With regard to your post about when to get another dog, the decision is very personal. You are right about the 3 choices. As for #3, what's that saying - better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?

When I lost my dog Rufus in December and then my cat Kitty Carlisle in February, I cried so many tears I didn't think I had any left. Too much loss and pain in less than two months. I said that I would never adopt another pet because I couldn't bear the pain of losing them. My position has changed. I still haven't adopted, but now I know that when the right dog comes along (and/or cat), they will choose me and I them.

My neighbor lost her yellow lab, grieved for a few weeks, then contacted her Willow's breeder and adopted Stella from Willow's Mom.
Like I said, the choice is very personal. Your heart will tell you what to do.

Sending good wishes and strength your way.

[sundial]

Wherever I went in the house, she was there. Now, she is no where. Her memories are thick. I know the grieving process will take time. I do still have the contact information of the breeder we got her from.

When I lost my beloved Ana, I contacted her breeder and chatted with her that very day. The breeder was so moved by my loss that she checked with another breeder friend to see if there was a female german shepherd available. We drove 13 hours in one day to get Kali. I was so nervous thinking about how I would react to a puppy. But as soon as we saw Kali, there was simply no comparison and she immediately lifted my spirits.

I know that getting another dog just days after we lost our first gsd was the right thing to do. It was hard seeing an empty bed, an empty bowl, and her medicine sitting on the counter. As I let the dogs out each morning, I kept waiting for the second one to come back in. We were already into a routine of caring for a feeble senior dog and getting into a puppy routine was a natural transition for us. So we added our funny little girl to the pack. She and I would go visit Ana's grave every day and I'd tell Ana what silly things the puppy did that day. As the days passed, our visits grew infrequent. By the third month, I rarely visited the site where the dogwood was planted over her grave. Kali simply mended a broken heart.

You will know when the time is right. For some, it may be a week, a month or even years. For others, the pain of losing one so special is too great that they choose to never be hurt again by another pet. I have felt that there is only one really bad day, and it is outweighed by the many wonderful moments spent with my little friend.

Perhaps as a tribute you can plant a dogwood or a beautiful rose bush in the garden. Every spring it will serve as a reminder of rebirth and renewal and the promise of hope.

[grey]

(((hugs))) I'm totally bawling just reading this. Comfort and calm thoughts to you.

[carpaltunnel]

Miranda, hugs to you and your family. You did the right thing, and your beloved dog knows it. When my little Tuffy died I prayed: "Thank You for the beautiful life I was blessed to share." I believe a loving God sends us our pets to give us a glimpse of unconditional love, and would not deny us being retunited with them when we die.

[Miranda]

Thank you so much for those post that followed my last one. Your words, and stories are very helpful and sweet.

Today I laid my furbaby girl to rest. DD and I only have a very small amount of remains left from her cremation that we may put with some keepsakes and pics. I really thought about posting a pic of how she was returned to me from the service. I decided not to as I thought it might upset some ladies who had lost their beloveds.

I personally have never had any experience with cremation. I was not sure if the idea of having her remains would be gross is some way. How she was cared for was not. It was beautiful.

She was contained in three layers. A pretty glossy decorative box with paw prints, a beautiful velvet bag that made me sob... it read in gold stitched letters "Until we meet again at rainbow bridge"... thanks for sharing the poem with me beforehand btw, it was a happy sob... and then a sealed package with her ashes. Which were not gross at all. DS immediately exclaimed, "Mommy! She looks like the beach". It did. Very befitting for my water doggie. Plus, she made a paw print. Still had her lab snow storm fur marking it. That made me smile... her fur was EVERYWHERE! (labs shed a ton)

One of the owners does the pet cremations. And for some reason I started to worry if they would get the right dog, or how long she had to stay alone at the vet. The service knows the vet personally, and the lady went after her body before they closed. I told her I did not realize until after the fact that I could have viewed placement of her for cremation. Then it was too late. She commented that she was such a pretty dog by her fur etc. I felt assured then that they indeed did have it correct. I have no reason to believe otherwise. I guess I just felt like I needed to see her through first hand. But now, it's ok.

I told the lady that I would have like to burried her at home whole, and DS was especially uspet about this (DH said too many digging obstacles with wires, septic, sprinkler, etc.). She told me something that really worked out well. We could burry the ashes themselves in the yard, and some people do a living memorial... plant a tree, etc. (besides her watering hole fun place to free the ashes).

The children got their own form of closure by choosing their favorite play spot to put her. Of course I took her to her swimming spot as originally inteneded (that was very hard, but somewhat freeing). I found a rose bush to plant to rest her under. I wanted yellow for her coat. But season end selection is limited. I think the pic of this flower worked out even better. The yellow center caught my eye, but it's multicolor... like a rainbow. The color is called "Mardi Gras". I think it fits to celebrate her life.

Thanks for letting me share on the final proceedings. Now time towards healing.
Miranda

http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg230/rotarydial/IMG_1977.jpg

[LBTC]

Miranda, that's beautiful! The rose, the placement of her ashes, the fact that you are comforted by the way she was treated. You're a wonderful fur-mom!

Sending you healing, releasing butterflies to stay with you through the rest of your grief and be beside you as you move on with healing. Please post again anytime you feel the desire to. And visualize those butterflies. They are with you and with your fur baby, gently arcing gracefully around you and all over the rainbow bridge, too.

Hugs,
~T~

[ClockworkOrange]

Miranda, I have had to wait a while, until the tears stopped running down my face.

You write so beautifully, by the end of it all, I almost felt I knew your beloved labrador.

Please accept a very big hug from clock.

I am so very sad for you but as they say "time is a great healer" but I am pleased you were able to share your sadness with us.

Wish I could say something more poignant.


Clock