Help Getting Daughter to wear Helmet

[lattelover]

We are excited to get started riding as a family. We have a Burley attached to my bike for my daughter and my son is on a Trail-A-Bike with my hubby. Problem: 20 month old daughter screams bloody murder and tries like hell to get her helmet off the ENTIRE time. I've tried distracting her (that helped me get it on her, but once she realized what was up, she wanted nothing to do with it), tried giving her snacks, toys, books, etc.

Anyone have any great ideas I can try to get her more comfortable with wearing the helmet? We have all the pieces in place to have some really great family time on the weekends, and this is our X-factor.

Help!

Thanks so much in advance...
Cyndie

[KSH]

Have you tried making it into a game with putting it on? In the house, outside of the typical scenario where you put the helmet on her.

You can play with yours and she can play with hers. Maybe you two can make believe you are some kind of "professional" who has to wear a helmet... and you have to put it on to go work. Like you are playing police man or something?

Along with the game, what about sitting down and decorating the helmet. Get her stickers, stuff to glue on there... and make a game out of decorating it. You could even glue a little crown on it to make it really cool. If she decorates it and plays with it in the house, she won't be unwilling to put it on when you go ride.

[OakLeaf]

Just be careful of what glue you use, since many glues degrade EPS. Definitely no Krazy Glue.

[sundial]

Get her stickers, stuff to glue on there... and make a game out of decorating it.

Glue ponytails on it. Craft stores will carry these items in the doll making section. Try using hot glue on the helmet.

[spokewench]

Just making sure - does the rest of the family wear helmets? If not, you are fighting a losing battle.

[lattelover]

Oh my gosh, yes! We all wear helmets. Hubby is a former racer. Son has worn a helmet since being in the burley. He never had a problem with it. Loved it from the minute we got it for him.

I like the idea of decorating it, but she's still a bit young to grasp that concept. I guss a Dora helmet might do the trick. Maybe we'll go shopping after nap time...

Thanks for the tips, and keep 'em coming!

Cyndie

[Irulan]

I guess I'm the evil mom. At our house, she'd be given a choice. She wants to come, she wears a helmet, period. Or, the other choice is stay with the baby sitter ( get the not-fun one)

Another tough love option. Buckle her in screaming and all, and she will either get distracted by the ride and/or fall asleep. She'd probably either get used to it after that or cease to complain.

[lovelylibrarian]

We are excited to get started riding as a family. We have a Burley attached to my bike for my daughter and my son is on a Trail-A-Bike with my hubby. Problem: 20 month old daughter screams bloody murder and tries like hell to get her helmet off the ENTIRE time. I've tried distracting her (that helped me get it on her, but once she realized what was up, she wanted nothing to do with it), tried giving her snacks, toys, books, etc.

Anyone have any great ideas I can try to get her more comfortable with wearing the helmet? We have all the pieces in place to have some really great family time on the weekends, and this is our X-factor.
Cyndie

I wish I could get my 33 year old husband to wear a helmet when we MTN bike. Maybe the same suggestions would work for him!

[kelownagirl]

My daughter was like that with the carseat for awhile. I just made here sit there and let her scream because there was no way I'd give in.

I think what I'd do is do a whole bunch of short trips - 5-10 minutes at most. Maybe every day for a week. Make her wear it, ignore the screaming, and have a short ride. Then helmet off, praise for wearing it, praise for screaming less today or whatever. I'm pretty sure that she'll give up the screaming in a day or two if once she realizes that it's not having an impact.

I liked the idea of having the helmet in the house as a toy for awhile as well. You could both wear them while you cook dinner or play with other toys together, LOL... Glad I don't have toddlers in the house anymore....

[Irulan]

I wish I could get my 33 year old husband to wear a helmet when we MTN bike. Maybe the same suggestions would work for him!

I really hope you are kidding.
Take him to the next public lecture at your local hospital on "easily preventable head injuries".

Maybe if he knew that every single rider that passes him on the trail is saying themselves, "god what an idiot" - perhaps that would have some impact.

No sympathy, sorry. I've seen helmet save lives and prevent very serious injury, both to myself and others.

[Flybye]

I guess I'm the evil mom. At our house, she'd be given a choice. She wants to come, she wears a helmet, period. Or, the other choice is stay with the baby sitter ( get the not-fun one)

Another tough love option. Buckle her in screaming and all, and she will either get distracted by the ride and/or fall asleep. She'd probably either get used to it after that or cease to complain.

I would try persuasion for about 5 minutes and then go for Irulan's technique. I'd even go as far as to leave her screaming in the driveway while we rode off (like a total of 20 feet) to help her understand. Then I'd put her on the bike and the second she started fussing, take her off, put her down, and head out again. It will only take 3-4 times of this and she'll get the idea. I would ONLY do this in a no traffic area, of course. We are near the end of a dead end street.

I teach parenting courses on occasion, and I tend to find that if we try to hard to please a fussy kid, we end up teaching them that their crying behavior can be a way to manipulate adults to get what they want. Having said that, each child is so different. Some you can reason with, some you can persuade, and some are just more strong willed. It is the strong willed ones who really figure out that the crying and fussing is a great way to manipulate events to go their way. Just ask me - I was one spoiled hombre! :cool:

One other thing that came to mind is to get a doll/stuffed animal and put the helmet on it before it gets on the bike with her. She's pretty little, but might understand that the doll/animal needs it to be safe, just like her.

[mimitabby]

Flybye, YOU ROCK!

great ideas!

[oxysback]

You've gotten some great suggestions!

The only thing I'd add (maybe as a last resort) is to make sure the end destination is a fun place, like the park or a stop for some ice cream. If that didn't work, I'd go so far as to have your hubby or son call from the destination on a cell phone to make sure your daughter knew what fun she was missing out on or how delicious the ice cream tasted. You know, really play it up so next time she won't want to miss out on wherever you're riding to. But really hammer the idea home that she won't be able to go unless she wears her 'big girl helmet'.

Let us know how it goes!

[Kano]

When the helmet is on, ride.

When she escapes from the helmet, stop and put it back on.

Xander (grandson) was a little older than your daughter when we started him with a bike helmet. He thought it was great fun to wear a helmet like Grandpa, and ride in the trailer. He DID try to take it off a couple of times, though, and when he did, we stopped the ride.

Rion didn't like the helmet at all when we got him a helmet. He was outraged about the whole idea too. He was younger than your daughter at the time. Recently, we got a couple of bikes at a garage sale to have around here for the boys to ride on when they're visiting. It's easier than having to schlep bikes over to the house for the day! Anyway, Rion was pretty excited about the "hemet" and wanted to put it on himself. He also wanted to do the "seatbelt" himself. (well, it IS like the seatbelts in shopping carts!)

He won't get on the bike yet, but he'll push it around the driveway wearing his helmet, giving his favorite stuffed monkey a ride!

Maybe it's just an age thing -- when she's ready, she'll be ready!

Karen in Boise

[ilima]

Or, the other choice is stay with the baby sitter ( get the not-fun one)

I like this option. Gives the kid a choice.

When I was a kid (like 2-3 years old), I refused to go to bed and wanted to stay up. My parents decided fine, I could stay up, but then promptly went to bed themselves. Not too long after, they heard the pitter patter of my feet heading down the hall to my bedroom.

Perhaps if the helmet is uncomfortable, you could also take her helmet shopping and try them on. Would a cap or bandana underneath make it more comfortable for her?

Please note the following disclaimer--I own two dogs and have no kids.

[ilima]

I wish I could get my 33 year old husband to wear a helmet when we MTN bike. Maybe the same suggestions would work for him!

Tell him you will not ride with him any more. Tell his friends not to ride with him.

[Tuckervill]

You've gotten some great suggestions!

The only thing I'd add (maybe as a last resort) is to make sure the end destination is a fun place, like the park or a stop for some ice cream. If that didn't work, I'd go so far as to have your hubby or son call from the destination on a cell phone to make sure your daughter knew what fun she was missing out on or how delicious the ice cream tasted. You know, really play it up so next time she won't want to miss out on wherever you're riding to. But really hammer the idea home that she won't be able to go unless she wears her 'big girl helmet'.

Let us know how it goes!

I like that.

It doesn't sound to me like she's developmentally ready to make the decision to wear the helmet for a goal in the future, though (too young). It's is my experience that behaviors and schemas completely flip-flopped or disappeared altogether in the space of three months or less. Rather than put her through all the screaming and fussing and anger, I'd just not take her for a few a weeks or months until the trauma of it subsides, and she can see it differently. That means mom or dad will have to be willing to stay home with her while the other pair gets to ride. That's okay. You're meeting your child's need, even when it conflicts with your own. (Isn't that was parenting is?)

Also, whenever I have conflict with my children, the conflict is usually rooted in one of two forces that are putting pressure on one or both of us: time or money. Time coercion is what causes drivers to speed past us on our bikes, screaming and cursing. Money coercion is what makes us frustrated when we can't afford that Salsa in the window.

The great thing with children, is that time is all we really have with them, even though it is limited and precious. I don't really have to make my child wear a helmet against his will if he's not ready. I'd rather spend that time doing more pleasant things until he is. If he agreed to wear the helmet and then couldn't keep it on for the whole ride--it'd be okay. I'd just turn around and go home, giving him a happy anticipation of doing something else fun together at home. I have found that when I meet their needs, they're more likely to be willing to meet those of others, too, including mine. Eventually. ;) I'm a grown-up. I can do without until then, in the interest of growing selfless children.

Karen

[lovelylibrarian]

I really hope you are kidding.
Take him to the next public lecture at your local hospital on "easily preventable head injuries".

Maybe if he knew that every single rider that passes him on the trail is saying themselves, "god what an idiot" - perhaps that would have some impact.

No sympathy, sorry. I've seen helmet save lives and prevent very serious injury, both to myself and others.

He's stubborn as a MULE I tell you. He won't wear a helmet when snowboarding either. I'll keep working on him. He keeps telling me that the chance of falling on your head in a way that a helmet will actually help is minimal. I ALWAYS wear a helmet.

[smurfalicious]

He's stubborn as a MULE I tell you. He won't wear a helmet when snowboarding either. I'll keep working on him. He keeps telling me that the chance of falling on your head in a way that a helmet will actually help is minimal. I ALWAYS wear a helmet.

Yeah I'd stop riding with him. I don't want to be the one who has to frantically ride into cell coverage to call 911 to haul someone's butt out! I can sacrifice a jersey to stop bleeding, but uh, I don't want to be the first responder to a head injury.

I wish I still had the helmet I cracked. SadieKate can tell you all about my poorly executed showing off that did that. Fortunately the helmet cracked, not my skull, and only my pride was injured. I rode home humbled and humiliated, not in a helicopter. Oh why did she have to bring the hot racer boys? I would have been so mild mannered without them there.

[OakLeaf]

+1 on not riding with him. I admit I don't know from mountain bikes, but I don't think the physics are any different from road bikes - and road bikes have a habit of throwing a person violently on their head.

I'm alive today (or at least rational) because of a helmet I was wearing when I stuck a pedal in a corner - as it was, I was out cold for 25 minutes. A couple of years ago I had a brain f*rt and rode off the edge of a bike path. Even though I was barely scraped and not even bruised, my head smacked the pavement pretty hard - enough that I had a headache the next day - and it would've been a significant TBI if I'd been bareheaded. It could as easily have been a log or a rock on an unpaved surface, or a paved path a MTBer would use to get to the trail.

[Becky]

Ditto what the others say about not riding with him. I'm here today b/c I was wearing my helmet when I went head-first into a tree while mountain biking. It's not just falls that warrant helmet wearing, but collisions too.

[obie]

One guy I know was persuaded at the bike shop. Girlfriend asked him to get a helmet, he said no, bike shop employee asked him to put one on for just a second - wanted to show him something. Boyfriend puts on the helmet. Shop worker takes hammer (or other tool), whacks him on head. Then says, "okay, now let's do that without the helmet."

Boyfriend bought the helmet! :D

[mimitabby]

One guy I know was persuaded at the bike shop. Girlfriend asked him to get a helmet, he said no, bike shop employee asked him to put one on for just a second - wanted to show him something. Boyfriend puts on the helmet. Shop worker takes hammer (or other tool), whacks him on head. Then says, "okay, now let's do that without the helmet."

Boyfriend bought the helmet! :D

wow, this is fantastic!!!!

[OakLeaf]

that's funny, but I hope they didn't sell him that particular helmet...

[mimitabby]

that's funny, but I hope they didn't sell him that particular helmet...

I'll bet they have demo helmets.

[Nokomis]

He's stubborn as a MULE I tell you. He won't wear a helmet when snowboarding either. I'll keep working on him. He keeps telling me that the chance of falling on your head in a way that a helmet will actually help is minimal. I ALWAYS wear a helmet.

Does he wear a seatbelt in the car?

I'd sabbotage his bike w/ the helmet, so that he Has to unclip it from the wheel before he can ride, and thus no excuse since it was in his hand to start with.

[Zen]

He's stubborn as a MULE I tell you.
Ask him if he wants you to have to take care of him when he suffers a debillatating head injury.
Does he want you to worry yourself sick while he's hooked up to this and that in ICU?
Does he want you to have to drive him to daily physical therapy sessions?
The list goes on. sit his heiney down and have a serious chat.

[Dogmama]

Ask him if he wants you to have to take care of him when he suffers a debillatating head injury.
Does he want you to worry yourself sick while he's hooked up to this and that in ICU?
Does he want you to have to drive him to daily physical therapy sessions?
The list goes on. sit his heiney down and have a serious chat.

I just calmly informed my husband that I was not going to change his diapers.

He wears a helmet.

[lovelylibrarian]

OK. I'll give it a try! Thanks for the support.

[Irulan]

Ask him if he wants you to have to take care of him when he suffers a debillatating head injury.
Does he want you to worry yourself sick while he's hooked up to this and that in ICU?
Does he want you to have to drive him to daily physical therapy sessions?
The list goes on. sit his heiney down and have a serious chat.

It sure does:
Does he want to be supported by tax payers when he's a got a debilitating brain injury?
Does he want to have disfiguring scars?

here's a good thread from another board,
http://forums.mtbr.com/showthread.php?t=111566
not for the squeamish.
This guy was out riding his commuter in his nieghborhood ( much less on a trail)

[nic840]

I had the same problem with my now 2.5 year old. When she was around your daughter's age we went to the local LBS and let her pick out her own helmet. It made a difference because it was her own and not a handme down from her sister. She felt some pride and ownership in it...

All the other suggestions are on point. There is no option to not wearing it...wear it or stay home. You and your son head out on a ride while she stays with Dad or a neighbor. It will make a point. Its amazing how fast they will come around as long as you are consistant.

I am sure you have tried the snacks, books, etc....
You might try making a list of things she has to find on a ride... bird, red car, leaf, Truck, Flag, garbage can, etc.... I used to make lists and draw the pictures next to the word so she knew what she was looking for. Works for scavenger hunts too. Hope it all works out! She will be riding two wheels in no time!
My youngest (2.5) just got on the 12in. w/ training wheels...no stopping her now! Have fun!

[lattelover]

WOW! I was shocked when I saw so many responses, thanks for the ones with suggestions...

Ayway, I agree, for themost part, with many suggestions. nic840 - I LOVE the idea of the scavenger hunt! (when she's a little older). Our family bike outings are about being together and having fun, not torturing our kids. She'll wear it when she's ready, and until then it's trial and error. We don't ride without them though. A helmet saved my hubbys life TWICE. I like the idea of many short trips, like across the street to the ice cream shop! :p

We've decorated the heck out of it with Dora stickers, and my son and I spent the good part of three days this week wearing and "playing" dress up with our helmets in the house. She even brought hers over to me the other day and wanted me to put it on her! I even got it buckled!!! Then she wanted it off. Fine by me, baby steps...

We're going riding this weekend with another family who has a young girl in a burley, so I'm hoping when she sees her with her helmet on, she'll get the idea. It could be that this one just isn't comfortable on her, so I'm going to the bike shop and looking around for a different style/fit. In the end, it's just a matter of getting used to it. That and picking the right time of day to go for a ride! ;)

Thanks again for the feedback... I'll let you know how our Sunday ride goes. We got a new(er) Burley, so I'm hoping she's more comfortable in it. That could go a loooong way!

Cyndie

[lovelylibrarian]

I hope your daughter adjusts to the helmet soon, latte. I wish my parents had started me biking so young.

Sorry to have highjacked your thread earlier. I did get some great feedback too though.

Keep us posted.

[lattelover]

Thanks lovely, no problem. I hope you get him to come around soon. The first time my hubby was hit by a car was when he was 12 out biking with his dad! The guy didn't even stop. Can you imagine?! The second time was right after we were married, and a van turned left in front of him. There's nothing you can do to prevent other people from making a really bad decision. My hubby went thru the side window, thankfully had the sense to turn slightly and take the impact with his shoulder rather than his head. But you should have seen his helmet! He went on to get his PhD, so I'm guessing the helmet did the trick. ;) Of course, he still can't remember his parent's birthdays...but I'll just chalk that one up to being a GUY. :rolleyes:

I personally love the idea of the bike store employee cracking him over the head... :cool: Good luck!

[lattelover]

Well, things did NOT go as well as I would have liked today... sigh...

We drove out to Vernonia, where there is a great bike path that goes for 10 or so miles. We met another family, and all the kids were excited to go. Lauren started in with the screaming the minute the helmet went on. I tried everything... "look honey, all the kids and mommies and daddies have helmets on if they want to ride their bikes..." I had her favorite snack, books, etc. Nothing made her happy while that helmet was on her head. Every once in a while I could get her distracted, but that would last for 30 seconds and she was right back to screaming. I finally turned around and headed back to the car (she could have cared less), but she fell asleep before we got back, so I just rode around the lake until the rest of the crew made it back.

Looks like we need to do some really short rides to the ice cream shop across the street before attempting another big family ride...

I'm also going to get her a new helmet. Hopefully one that fits a little better than brother's hand-me-down. Dora stickers didn't even make it tolerable for her.

It's so frustrating! It's hard enough finding time to exercise when you have little ones in the house. Then when you figure out a great way to do it all together, but something like this stands in the way... sigh.

Oh well... she'll come around. Until then, I guess we are just going to have to take turns riding with kid #1.

Thanks again for all the ideas. I will definately file them away for later use...

Cyndie

[Grog]

I'm also going to get her a new helmet. Hopefully one that fits a little better than brother's hand-me-down. Dora stickers didn't even make it tolerable for her.

Can you get her to choose it for herself (among a few that you'd pre-select for her)?

[janeho]

Sorry it didn't go well for you yesterday - we had a similar situation with our son when he was in the trailer. The things that worked for us were - he picked his own helmet, we refused to move if he took it off and we kept the rides short and to child friendly destinations. Now he's 5 and his sister 7 they are the ones who are the "helmet police" checking everyone has one on before we set off.
We didn't really bother with helmets particularly on short quiet road rides until we had the kids when we felt that if we wanted them to wear a helmet we had to set an example. It is fortunate for me that we did - a few years ago I was only cycling the kids to their pre school a mile or so away. I had the trailer on the back and hit a patch of black ice. I came off and my head hit the road very hard. My helmet cracked badly, but my head was perfectly fine. Thankfully the trailer stayed upright and the kids were OK.

[nic840]

She will come around...as you know it just takes time!
I also wanted to let you know that my older daughter didn't like the burley because it bowed her back a little and made it uncomfortable for her. I ended up putting a little moshi (one with the little bippy filling) in the small of her back and it made all the difference.

Oh and when looking at helmets look for ones with a flat back. Fits better in the trailer and doesn't push their head forward.
My little one has a Trek helmet that fits great in the trailer. Pretty soon you will be pulling the trail-a-bike with the trailer hooked to it! I get stares all the time! I added two flags, on the the trail bike and one on the trailer so everyone sees me!
Good luck and let us know the progress! -Nic

[Zen]

Pretty soon you will be pulling the trail-a-bike with the trailer hooked to it! I get stares all the time! I added two flags, on the the trail bike and one on the trailer so everyone sees me!

Reminds me of the Geico commercial with the Pips (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgzDWlmyyYA)
Take the train to Happy Town!

[mamaof5]

If you can stand just wearing yours around the house all day long maybe she will get curious and want to wear hers too. ?

[mimitabby]

oh wow, I just had a great idea!!

this does not involve bikes.
you have other kids, right?
get their favorite snack, gum drops, cashews, whatever.
and play a game.
Whoever puts on a baseball cap gets a treat.
kids all put caps on, get treats.
whoever puts a scarf on.. gets a treat
kids all put scarves on, get treats.
Whoever puts on a bike helmet, even for a second,
gets a treat!

then focus on having her wear it for more than a second.
if i can train my cat to open and close doors, you can do the same with your kid!
good luck!

[lattelover]

These are all fantastic. ;-) Thanks for taking the time to think through my problem with me. She likes wearing her helmet in the house...my son and I have spend MANY hours parading ours around for her. ;-) (ah, the things we do) I think the comment about her just not being comfortable in the burley is right on target. I need to work on getting something in there to keep her sitting up straighter. She seems hunched forward. And then the helmet pushes her head forward, although the one we have now does have a flat back.

Until then, we will do many quick trips across the street to the ice cream shop.

My hubby and son went out this weekend together, and she was SUPER pissed that she didn't get to go... ;) One of these days, she'll figure it out...

Thanks again!
Cyndie

[ehirsch83]

Just wanted to drop a note and say thanks! I am not a parent but I do work in a local LBS and every few days I get parents in shopping for helmets for their little kids. Usually, the youngins don't want the helmet anywhere near there head. After reading this thread I know had been able to give the parents some ideas on how to make it easier to get the children to wear their helmets. Thank you for all the great ideas and tips!

[malkin]

I like mimi's game!
You could extend it by issuing treats in short intervals, like every 5 or 10seconds, or just take a little bit longer every time you present the treat.
Be sure to up the ante for some of the easy things to wear--or else the propaganda factor might just be too blatant.

You could also have the kids put weird stuff on their heads too--like a bucket or a pillow or a pot, just to see how funny they can be and how different the world sounds.

I also want to encourage you to let her try new helmets at the store. Maybe the old one just hurts or is the wrong shape or something.