Jen-Jen
06-22-2008, 10:27 AM
Funny part is he use to be a fairly nice guy. One rare occasions he should signs of passive aggessive behavior, which most of us brushed off.
My husband knew him several years before I did and he said he never really like the guy, but couldn't really put his finger down right where it was that he didn't like about him. But, me being the person I am, I liked him, I considered him and great friend. I've worked with him for 7 years and in the last 2 years he has turned into a bully.
Unfortunately, 90% of his workforce is women, and we tend to be his target most of the time. He ended up in a position as a lead for Sendouts and Popus at work (this a names of departments), which means if we have a problem we see him first and vice versa. The problem is he loved to dole it out, but hated hearing it back. He has sent many of us home crying to our husbands, me included, which is a very hard thing to do, I'm pretty hard stuff. Ask my mother! Each time he does we all have to talk our husbands out of going down there and kicking the sh!t out of this guy.
5 of us have very angry husbands. we have addressed the issue several times with management above his head and all they do is talk to him about the situation. I am past the point of talking. Here is why:
On December 20th his very young wife of two years walked out on him and there three babies. She cheated on him 2 weeks earlier and walked out after he could put it to rest. So, I became the shoulder and friend who he cried one. He started divorce proceedings and then proceeded to got out and find a replacemnet for his wife to help him raise his girls, because he didn't want to do it alone. I advised him against that! He found someone just as weak as he and promised to love her forever. Long story short he has taken his wife back and dumped this poor women who he promise to love. Now, he put all the fault on this women and not taking any of his own. In the mean time his work has suffered and he is now bring in his personal problems to work. Then when he blows up at a few of us at work he has a buttload of excuses as to why he does it.
He yelled and verbally attacked one co-worker less than 3 weeks ago. When he was pulled in the office to speck about the issue he got up and walked out of the meeting. He told me that they were just taking her side anyways, because she's in there crying and giving them a big sob story. He was spoken to at that time after they pulled him back into the office after he walked out.
The whole time this is happening he takes several personal phone calls that last 30-45 minutes long, he calls in because he's to tired from taking care of the babies, he falls asleep at his computer, and he does his banking and car shopping at work!! Plus, he calls me at 3:00 a.m. to let me know that due to the fact that he is still awake that he won't be at work in the morning. My husband is pretty ready to put the hammer down on him. Wakes me up because he is up. Nice, huh?
This weekend he targeted my mother who works with me. He gave her a hard time and when she would argue or listen to he she simple said, "Don't worry about it, I will handle it." She then hung up the phone and less then 5 second later he came flying into the front office and in front of several customers he pointed at my mother and told her, "Don't you ever hang up on me again!"
She went and got a manager to go speak with him at this point and he continued to be a full blown jacKa$$ to her infront of the manager.
I am very upset about this because to is a continued behavior from him that the company I work for has let him do this! My mother has asked me to stay out of it. I am unsure that I can do this. I know way to much of what he has done and remained silent. I am at a serious cross-road. Do I take the high road and hope that it gets handled or do what I know I do best and put him in his place, which the knowledge that I will more than likely lose my job as well.
I really need help on this, because I am feeling very ugly. This is but a fraction of what he has done and it's getting worse.
Need help remaining calm- Jen-Jen
My husband knew him several years before I did and he said he never really like the guy, but couldn't really put his finger down right where it was that he didn't like about him. But, me being the person I am, I liked him, I considered him and great friend. I've worked with him for 7 years and in the last 2 years he has turned into a bully.
Unfortunately, 90% of his workforce is women, and we tend to be his target most of the time. He ended up in a position as a lead for Sendouts and Popus at work (this a names of departments), which means if we have a problem we see him first and vice versa. The problem is he loved to dole it out, but hated hearing it back. He has sent many of us home crying to our husbands, me included, which is a very hard thing to do, I'm pretty hard stuff. Ask my mother! Each time he does we all have to talk our husbands out of going down there and kicking the sh!t out of this guy.
5 of us have very angry husbands. we have addressed the issue several times with management above his head and all they do is talk to him about the situation. I am past the point of talking. Here is why:
On December 20th his very young wife of two years walked out on him and there three babies. She cheated on him 2 weeks earlier and walked out after he could put it to rest. So, I became the shoulder and friend who he cried one. He started divorce proceedings and then proceeded to got out and find a replacemnet for his wife to help him raise his girls, because he didn't want to do it alone. I advised him against that! He found someone just as weak as he and promised to love her forever. Long story short he has taken his wife back and dumped this poor women who he promise to love. Now, he put all the fault on this women and not taking any of his own. In the mean time his work has suffered and he is now bring in his personal problems to work. Then when he blows up at a few of us at work he has a buttload of excuses as to why he does it.
He yelled and verbally attacked one co-worker less than 3 weeks ago. When he was pulled in the office to speck about the issue he got up and walked out of the meeting. He told me that they were just taking her side anyways, because she's in there crying and giving them a big sob story. He was spoken to at that time after they pulled him back into the office after he walked out.
The whole time this is happening he takes several personal phone calls that last 30-45 minutes long, he calls in because he's to tired from taking care of the babies, he falls asleep at his computer, and he does his banking and car shopping at work!! Plus, he calls me at 3:00 a.m. to let me know that due to the fact that he is still awake that he won't be at work in the morning. My husband is pretty ready to put the hammer down on him. Wakes me up because he is up. Nice, huh?
This weekend he targeted my mother who works with me. He gave her a hard time and when she would argue or listen to he she simple said, "Don't worry about it, I will handle it." She then hung up the phone and less then 5 second later he came flying into the front office and in front of several customers he pointed at my mother and told her, "Don't you ever hang up on me again!"
She went and got a manager to go speak with him at this point and he continued to be a full blown jacKa$$ to her infront of the manager.
I am very upset about this because to is a continued behavior from him that the company I work for has let him do this! My mother has asked me to stay out of it. I am unsure that I can do this. I know way to much of what he has done and remained silent. I am at a serious cross-road. Do I take the high road and hope that it gets handled or do what I know I do best and put him in his place, which the knowledge that I will more than likely lose my job as well.
I really need help on this, because I am feeling very ugly. This is but a fraction of what he has done and it's getting worse.
Need help remaining calm- Jen-Jen