totally OT: do i have to wear a black dress to a black tie wedding?

[ikkin]

title says it all. wedding is super fancy- at the four seasons in DC. HELP??!?!?!?

:confused::)

[ikkin]

p.s. its an evening wedding on a saturday.

[Zen]

Black Tie

* For men, black-tie denotes a single or double-breasted dinner jacket with a black silk bow tie (properly referred to as a dinner jacket, but commonly called "tuxedo" or "tux.").
* For women, an invitation to a black tie event means wearing a long, floor length evening dresses or evening separates. A short cocktail dress may be appropriate for some cocktail receptions, summer events, or daytime functions.

It doesn't have to black but it definitely should not be white :eek:

[xeney]

Depends on local custom. In some places, wearing a black dress to a wedding is a complete no-no. In others, it is becoming the norm for fancy weddings.

But I don't think women are ever required to wear black. You might go with a dark color if you don't want to stand out in case others are wearing black -- I attended a similarly fancy wedding and wore a simple navy blue floor-length dress, and I felt completely at ease. Most of the other women were also in floor-length dresses of various colors, but some of the younger women (I was a younger woman at the time!) wore black cocktail dresses, and I did not feel out of place next to them the way I might have in a pastel or brighter color.

[SadieKate]

Black Tie doesn't refer to the color of the dress. I personally wouldn't wear black to a wedding unless I knew the bridesmaids/matrons were wearing black also. I have seen pictures where the bridesmaids wore black for a very formal evening wedding.

zen's post says it all.

[Blueberry]

Hmmm....black is definitely not required. That said, in DC, you won't go wrong with it either. Especially with great accessories. Anything except white or cream should be OK - but you are looking for a semi-formal dress. White tie is dressier and would require a formal dress.

CA

[shootingstar]

Zencentury answered the question. No need.

It does sound like a dressier wedding, so the black tie designation is an alert just so that you will have an idea what to wear in terms of a dress.

If you know the bride/bridesmaids maybe get a vague idea what colour they will be wearing...so you won't be surprised.

At my partner's son's wedding, I wore a black strapless dress with just tiny rows of pink ribbon edging at bodice edge and hem of dress. Dress just hit me above my knee.

I wore this dress....because I originally bought it for a black-tie Christmas dinner part for a law firm that I once worked for. I spent $50.00 on that dress...just too lazy/cheap :rolleyes: to buy another dress which I may not wear again.

Discovered in advance that the bridesmaids...were wearing blak satin dresses..with straps, various styles. They looked to me, contemporary and proper. Bride wore a creamy lacy gown.

To ensure that I was NOT part of the bridal party, I wore a light pink, transparent chiffon shawl...this was a summer hot wedding. They coincidentally provided me a lovely pink orchid wrist flower to wear.

Have fun choosing your dress ...and hopefully you can wear it to 1-2 other events later!


Meanwhile I'll keep on cycling ..to ensure I will fit that dress later.:p

[SouthernBelle]

Up until the last few years black for women was a big faux pas at weddings. With the advent of black & white weddings, which Miss Manners still doesn't like, that has loosened up.

Black traditionally connotes mourning, thus it was considered improper for weddings.

I would still stay away from anything white or close to it.

[RoadRaven]

I thought weddings were a chance to wear purty colours.....

And Belle, remember that black for funerals is culturally bound as is white for the weddding dress.
Some people have white as the mourning colour. And one country dresses its brides in red. :)

[SouthernBelle]

I thought weddings were a chance to wear purty colours.....

And Belle, remember that black for funerals is culturally bound as is white for the weddding dress.
Some people have white as the mourning colour. And one country dresses its brides in red. :)

True that. But the OP is in NH. :D

[SadieKate]

True, but that doesn't mean that there aren't potential ways to show respect for another culture. Older generations will certainly notice if you wear a taboo color.

And it can still be a chance for purty colors.

[xeney]

That is exactly why I don't wear black to weddings, SadieKate. The bride probably wouldn't be offended these days, but her grandmother might be, and why go around offending grandmothers when you can just wear pretty colors instead?

I forgot that for the last fancy evening wedding I went to, I bought a great espresso brown cocktail dress. I was probably the only woman under 50 who was not wearing black except for the bride, though.

[SadieKate]

And I bet you stood out like a beautiful orchid amongst the funereal masses. :)

[xeney]

Heh. A brown orchid.

[SadieKate]

Hey! My mother had a brown orchid corsage on her "going away" suit!

http://thumb8.webshots.net/s/thumb4/3/18/57/218431857fPbbZO_th.jpg (http://entertainment.webshots.com/photo/1218431857025624048fPbbZO)

[limewave]

This thread is bringing back an embarassing fashion faux I committed. I wore a very short black dress to my bf (now dh) sister's wedding in June, outside, by the lake, midmorning. Black was the last thing I should have worn. But, I had just gotten this dress and I really wanted to wear it, so I did, but I was REALLY out of place. At the time, I had only been seeing bf for about a month. The dress was so short I could hardly sit down without showing too much :eek: What WAS I thinking?

Then, to make things worse, that evening I was helping clean up after the reception and while flirting with bf (now dh) I started a little splashing war. My now father-in-law actually started YELLING at me and asked me to leave :mad:

It was a horrible weekend. I was so embarassed.

[ikkin]

thanks for all the responses so far!

so.... the only dress I have is this horrible floor length "rouge iridescent chiffon" number that my friend made her bridesmaids get for her wedding in january.

despite having to spend nearly $400 on the darn thing, i HATE it and was hoping to never wear it again. however, i'm loathe to buy another dress for this black tie affair.

sooo...would the "rouge iridescent chiffon" look totally out of place? it's fairly simple, has spaghetti straps and an A-line. the fabric and color is not my style, but whatever.

i just don't want to be the only woman not wearing black....this is the four seasons in DC, after all.

[ny biker]

..this is the four seasons in DC, after all.

Don't let that overwhelm you. Plenty of people around here don't know how to dress. And I've stayed at a Four Seasons (in Seattle), so clearly they let any old riff-raff in the door...

[Blueberry]

I think the chiffon would be lovely. Perhaps some special shoes or a wrap might make it more your style? (for the record, it wouldn't be my style either...)

CA

[shootingstar]

so.... the only dress I have is this horrible floor length "rouge iridescent chiffon" number that my friend made her bridesmaids get for her wedding in january.

despite having to spend nearly $400 on the darn thing, i HATE it and was hoping to never wear it again. however, i'm loathe to buy another dress for this black tie affair.

sooo...would the "rouge iridescent chiffon" look totally out of place? it's fairly simple, has spaghetti straps and an A-line. the fabric and color is not my style, but whatever. .

Unless you cut the dress shorter and wear a dressy jacket on top. I'm only suggesting jacket because you said the colour doesn't quite complement you.

[evangundy]

thanks for all the responses so far!
so.... the only dress I have is this horrible floor length "rouge iridescent chiffon" number that my friend made her bridesmaids get for her wedding in january.

Maybe you can dye the dress a different color? Maybe black? Would you like the style of the dress if the color was different? I wonder if the iridescent effect would still come thru? Changing the length and maybe putting something over it could change it enough too. A black mesh tunic or something sheer and sparkly, or sheer and floral????? For example, like something from this page:
http://www.wmsclothing.com/cgi-bin/category/scarves_shawls

Let us know what you end up doing.
Edna

[Trek420]

How about a tux? That's black tie, no? :D Maybe not with tails, we don't want to upstage the groom. ;)

[ikkin]

wow, some great ideas here, thanks all!

dying the dress black is a spectacular idea! didn't even think of it! i wonder if i can do that...gonna check into it today. the style is more bearable than the color...

also gonna hit my least favorite of places today...the mall. just to see what's out there.

i think i'll stay away from the tux...this time, at least. it would be so much easier to be a guy sometimes!

i'll keep you all posted. thanks again!

p.s. this is a helpful resource on wedding attire ettiquite: http://www.wtnh.com/Global/story.asp?S=8387431

[ikkin]

boo...despite the hefty price tag and designer label, the fabulous rouge iridescent (aka, wet blood red) chiffon number is made of cheap polyester (again, WHY did i have to pay $400 for this thing? girls, please don't do this to your bridesmaids!) so i can't dye it. bummer.

now i'm thinking i can wear my little black cocktail dress and accessorize the crap out of it...maybe that'll work. if i'm totally underdressed, whatever. we barely know anyone at this wedding anyway. :)

stay tuned...

[Blueberry]

The last 6:00 wedding I went to, I wore a black dress...and bright pink heels:) Seemed to set the right tone - and I got lots of complements.

CA

[Wahine]

Ikkin - I don't keep a lot of formal clothing in my wardrobe and for the most part, I don't like to dress up. So... I've often relied on the kindness of my more girlie-girl friends to get me out of these tight spots. Do you have a friend that is about the same size as you that will let you raid her closet? Also, if you have a really nice skirt and blouse, that will work. It doesn't have to be a dress, it just has to be more formal. I've gone to several fancy weddings with a black skirt, fabulous shoes and a nice, brightly coloured top.

[shootingstar]

Herer's black dress with shawl wrap. Remember, my partner was/is father of the groom. I am the 2nd woman in his life. So I should be careful not to look too..you know..

:rolleyes: I did remove the shawl for intervals... yea, can't you tell, I'm a cyclist...

[pll]

Herer's black dress with shawl wrap. Remember, my partner was/is father of the groom. I am the 2nd woman in his life. So I should be careful not to look too..you know..

:rolleyes: I did remove the shawl for intervals... yea, can't you tell, I'm a cyclist...

That picture reminded me of this t-shirt: http://flirtees.ca/page7.html (a cyclist? where? :D)

[shootingstar]

Some great cute cycling designs there!

http://flirtees.ca/index.html

Thx, for the link!

[pll]

Some great cute cycling designs there!

http://flirtees.ca/index.html

Thx, for the link!

I think Brandi posted it a while back. They are cute.

[ikkin]

mall trip report:

NOT FUN. :rolleyes:

found a great long black dress for a great price at marshall's though...hoping i can find someone to tailor it by thursday (we leave friday AM). :D

i'll keep you all posted! thanks!

[mimitabby]

Herer's black dress with shawl wrap. Remember, my partner was/is father of the groom. I am the 2nd woman in his life. So I should be careful not to look too..you know..

:rolleyes: I did remove the shawl for intervals... yea, can't you tell, I'm a cyclist...

I love your tan lines!!

I'm staying out of this one. I would ask the bride what i should or shouldn't wear... :confused:

[ny biker]

That picture reminded me of this t-shirt: http://flirtees.ca/page7.html (a cyclist? where? :D)

I TOTALLY need that shirt!