O/T Career advice needed! [Archive] - Women's Cycling Discussion Forums

MightyMitre

03-17-2005, 05:23 AM

SnappyPix

03-17-2005, 05:45 AM

Personally, I'd go for the latter, but that's because I'm not career-minded, just want a better quality of lifestyle through fitness. It also depends on economics - would the lower paid job still pay enough to cover all your outgoings?
For me, cycling and fitness is a big part of my life - I love commuting by bike, being home in time for morning/evening rides, going to the gym - and being stuck in rush hour traffic with no-where to go and your shiny steed in the garage is pretty soul-destroying stuff. Wears you down after a while. (And our train services aren't reknowned for their efficiency/punctuality either!) Power suits and a stressful schedule don't cut it for me.
Personally, my move to New Zealand in a few months is a whole new fresh start - and a pretty scary one. I'm leaving my job, saying goodbye to admininstrative work (having worked in offices for over 20 years) and aiming to do something completely different - I've no idea what. I'm lucky as my other half will be earning while we're out there (hence the move), so I have the option to do voluntary work at local animal welfare shelters and pick and choose anything I like. I'm very excited at the prospect, but scared also. Much like you, it's a choice of saying goodbye to the familiar and opting for something that will give me more opportunities to pursue the things I want.

Back to you (I don't mean to make this about me, simply saying I empathise with you), sometimes it's a matter of prioritising what you want from life and what your goals will be in, say, 5 years time. Will either path get you there? Will one get you there quicker and be a more enjoyable journey than the other?

I don't think I've helped in any way with this reply, but I guess that only you can choose the right path for you in the end - though no path is every really the wrong one, some are simply annoying detours that take us off-course for a while!

DeniseGoldberg

03-17-2005, 05:46 AM

That's a really hard one! I can see why you're swinging / switching between the options as I could see myself having a hard time with the decision. My tendency would be to go with the career type job with the feeling that getting paid a fair salary would allow me to save for retirement and perhaps retire earlier because of those savings. But the admin job near home is really enticing because of the "now" time to use for riding. And since you don't have a long commute you also won't have commuting costs, which certainly needs to be factored in to the salary difference.

But I really think there is a bigger factor here, and that is your happiness at work. I still feel like I need to be challenged and learning new things at work - another reason why the career-type job would likely win out for me. I could do the admin type of job on a fill-in basis for the cash, but for longer term I think it would not make me happy. But there are others out there who would be much happier with the admin type of job... we're all different, aren't we?

So I guess the things that need to be considered are:
--- pay, ready cash for now and for retirement
--- time to play, bike, etc.
--- your happiness & satisfaction with the job & how that plays in to the rest of your life

But of course that's not a straight answer, is it?

Veronica

03-17-2005, 07:31 AM

If the close to home job pays enough to let you live the way you want,and is something you want to spend your days doing, I'd take that one. I hate commuting - actually what I hate is sitting in traffic. It seems like such a waste of time.

V.

slinkedog

03-17-2005, 07:37 AM

There are so many variables that can influence what the best decision for you will be. Are you married? Do you have kids or are you going to want to have kids soon? If you don't have kids but are going to haven them sometime in the near future, are you going to quit working to stay home with them or will you continue with your career?

I would say that if you plan on staying single and supporting yourself for the next, say, 5 years, it may be in your best interest to continue pursuing your career so that you can support yourself. If you're getting married or are already married and your fiance/husband earns enough to be the main breadwinner, then perhaps the job that isn't in your career path would be okay for you.

If you're going to have kids soon (I'm assuming from your post that you don't have any) and will be quitting to stay home with them, then either job may be right. Do you want to spread your wings career-wise and accomplish all you can before you're tied down to a family, or do you want to be able to go do fun, recreational activities before you're tied down to a family?

The other question is: will you be fulfilled if your job isn't that challenging in the contect of your education? Will you feel that you've wasted your time at university and will you be challenged enough if you don't take a job in your field of expertise?

So, like Denise, I have no real answer... just some things to think about. Good luck!

Jo-n-NY

03-17-2005, 07:47 AM

Yup, it is a tough call and everyone has a different situation.

I do commute from Long Island to Manhattan, not entirely by choice. The company was on Long Island, company sold and the new people moved us to Manhattan. I figured ok, I would give it a try. Well I am here 8 years now and hate it. Although all I am only doing is admin work.

For "me" I know organizational changes will come sooner or later and that will be my time to leave and maybe get some kind of job on Long Island. My commute makes a 7.5 hour day into an 11 hour day. Although because I start early I am home by 5 so I guess I am one of the "lucky ones"?

I guess you have to weigh the pros and cons of your situation.

Irulan

03-17-2005, 07:57 AM

I vote for quality of life over the ideal job. One idea is to relocate so you can have both. That is what we did 15 years ago with no regrets.

penny

Melody

03-17-2005, 08:07 AM

MM, like everyone else, it really does depend on what your goals are and this can be tough, but if you break it down, it may not be too bad.

1) What are your long term goals? Retire early? Just be comfortable? Be fit? etc. What are their priorities? i.e. What is more important? To be comfortable or retire early?

2) Based on those long term goals, what mid-term goals do you need to accomplish to meet those long term goals? Make more money? Get in more riding? What are their priorities?

3) What short term goals do you need to meet in order to make your mid-term goals? Once again, what are their priorities?

Now that you have your goals and their respective priorities, which of the two positions make more sense? That would be the way to go. :)

Mel

Roadrunner

03-17-2005, 08:34 AM

The way I would look at it is, which would make me happier and cause the least stress. I worked before I moved up here and I kept taking on new clients, the money was nice but the stress of working so hard and having less time for myself began to tell on me. I'm not saying it would be the same for you, but I reckon your health and happiness are what's most important in the long run.

AutumnBreez

03-17-2005, 10:53 AM

Ladies - this is totally off topic but I hope you don't mind me posting as you usually provide such sensible and down-to-earth advice on most things.

Here's the situation : unemployed for 10 months and need job, but do I go for

a) well paid 'career' type job in the field I've worked in for the last 8 years ( since i left uni), that'll be a 50 min / 40 mile train commute each way

OR

b) nice little admin. job that pays less but is local, no transport costs, close to home meaning I'll be able to get much more riding in during the evening, home by 5.30pm and maybe even get a dog, but less career prospects and not making the most of my earning capacity.

I need some guidance as at the moment I keep swinging between the two ideas and just getting myself confussed! :confused: :confused:

With what you have given here, I see that option b) is what would make you happier. The way you placed the options, and the personal and important have more meaning to the wording directed at them.

1st option: a) Money and being familiar with job,makes you feel comfortable, but the train ride seems dreaded already.

2nd option: b) nice little admin job, (every job is important, but if you wanted more responsibility and challenge, I am sure they would let you at the same place in future, and still have short commute)
"close to home meaning I'll be able to get much more riding in during the evening, home by 5.30pm and maybe even get a dog"

Then the end, this is when you add to your confusion, you say, " but" but less career prospects and not making the most of my earning capacity. You return to the cycle of questioning the first option again, because of familiarity and money.
Could you later use the experience of the admin job and your first 'career' experience and make something better of yourself with both experiences? Move up from the admin job in the company?

Thirdly ask yourself: unemployed for 10 months and need job, but do I go for - MONEY? Has the lack of job/money caused your lack of better judgement for your true wellbeing? The close admin job will bring a job, money, confidence, and best of all, more "me" time.

What are all the positives to 'career' besides money and familiarity? If there are enough to benefit? Will riding your bike on the weekends be enough for you?

Ride life like there is no tomorrow.. Hope this makes sense to you, and that it will be of help.

CorsairMac

03-17-2005, 12:53 PM

I went through a major job decision about 16 years ago, do I look for a job that has money or one that makes me happy? I saw my dad work at jobs he hated for years because of the money to raise us kids, at 50+ he quit and went to work in a completely different field than his degree or his experience. Today he is 72, retired, and Still working that job on a part-time, on-call basis and still loving it. I decided in the overall scheme of things, it is whats makes one happy that is more important than money, after all.....you can't take it with you when you die. So along with several others, can you live on the lower salary?? If yes, then the choice is what makes your life complete, not how much you're earning. As for degrees, most of the people I know aren't even Close to working in the same fields their degrees are in - kinda makes one wonder what the degree was for anyway! :)

PS: it sounds like you're swinging because you want the admin job but feel you should take the "in your field" job. shades of being raised to do the Right Thing vs doing what you want! (been there done that)

nuthatch

03-17-2005, 02:07 PM

Can you tell this is a subject that touches a deep nerve for all of us?

I think you've already answered your question, MM. You aren't being foolish to change directions inspite of the years (and £s) you spent at uni. Everyone has posted great thoughts for you here! I say go with whatever makes you feel as good as you do on your bike - a little scary, a little dangerous, and very free! We're rooting for you!!

MightyMitre

03-17-2005, 02:12 PM

Wow - I'm bowled over by the response!! :) It's really give me a lot to think about. I knew I could rely on you all for fantastic pearls of wisdom. Think I might print this thread off and read again.

I think the 'Do the Right thing' v ' Do What You Want' has been a real sticking point. I've been working in the Pensions industry for the last 8 years and I kinda feel I shouldn't just throw away all that experience, but this was never a career I specifically chose - I drifted into it as a temporary job that became permanent.

I don't have any kids yet, but hope to in the next few years, and hubby to be has been earning enough for us to get by, but I do wonder about the future. I have absolutly no savings and once I embark on motherhood I'm guessing it's not going to be easy to save. And while my BF is more than happy to support me, there's no guarantees in this world - anything can happen and I feel vulnerable at the thought of having no financial independance.

Salary wise - yeh, I like the nice stuff money can buy, but money can't buy you back those 2 hours a day on the train.

So, perhaps I should be brave, feel the fear and do it anyway and look for that local job - but one that lets me use my brain. ( don't want to sell myself short)

Oooohhh - scary and exiting all at the same time....!!! :) :( :) :( :)

Thanks All

AutumnBreez

03-17-2005, 02:28 PM

Does there have to be a versus? Make it right and what you want.

LBTC

03-17-2005, 02:41 PM

MM, I'm with Autumnbreez on this one. I, too, noticed that the tone of each question seemed slanted toward being closer to home. :) IMHO, Happiness Now is what all of us needs, and if you've got a way to do that that doesn't go against your own set of values, go for it!!

I can't help but wonder: are the 2 jobs you've mentioned actual opportunities that you can say yes to tomorrow and you'll start working? Or are they theoretical?

and, sorry to make it even muddier, have you looked at what other options are out there for you? if you didn't follow your "career" path, does it have to be a little admin job that you take?

I'm an admin myself for a large forestry company that has recently been bought out by an equally larger forestry company so the company is now twice the size. My job hasn't changed a lot, but the morale is about as low as it can go. we've had a small organizational change and are currently waiting for our new building to be finished so we can move in. All of us expects that there will be more "org" changes (read job losses) and we just don't know when. The mood is less than cheerful. When I really look at it - I don't mind my job, I like the wages and benefits and what I get for the fairly low level of stress (the morale issue notwithstanding). I have some hope that the new building will bring some improvements, but that some changes might include reductions in my benefit package. The way I see it, the more they take away, the easier it is for me to take a job with lesser pay and benefits....lower the bar and... so I bide my time and see what happens.

In the meantime my commute to work is 1/2 hour if I walk, 8 minutes if I drive or 6 minutes if I ride (and 12 to get home on the bike). I wouldn't want it any other way!!! Those of you who have seen my pictures, many of those 'nature' shots are taken on the walk to/from work, through an industrial area. Just being able to do that is huge for my optimism and positive energy.

oops, I made this about me, again, didn't I? :o Sorry!

Good luck with your decision, MM!! I think all the ladies here have said really great things for you to think about!

Namaste,
~T~

CorsairMac

03-17-2005, 02:52 PM

MM: it's called a leap of faith, and it's the scariest leap you'll ever make! Keep us posted hun.......keeping you in my thougths!

MightyMitre

03-17-2005, 03:15 PM

Aw - thanks guys. You're GREAT!!

Maybe being off work for so long has given me a rose tinted view of my previous job. I've been trying to remember how I felt before I left and remember all the things I was looking for in a new job/ career path.(This is where I wish I kept a diary. :) )

I guess I'm worried of making a mistake. Like someone else wrote, I've seen my dad work hard all his life too, running his own buisness 6 days a weeks, and he's now only a few years from retirement . Because he spent his whole life working there's so many things he hasn't done and really wishes he had. I don't want to wake up one day and thing ' How did I get here - this wasn't part of the plan'

Aaaaaaggggh mid-life crisis at 30? ;) That can't be right..... :p

snowtulip

03-17-2005, 04:00 PM

MM- good luck to you in your decision. My words of so called wisdom are, live your life now! I have a medical condition that put into perspective how important quality of life is. What good is saving everything for the future if you're gone tomorrow? Don't get me wrong, retirement, savings, etc. are great, but make sure you still get the chance to enjoy life now.

Once I started feeling better, my perspective on work changed (was a slave to work before and wanted to do what was societally expected of me, now I work to ensure I have money to live a simple life that allows me happy opportunities). Also, I thought work defined me...not the case. Also, listen to your gut, I'm a strong believer of the gut feeling, what is it telling you?

Good luck!

LBTC

03-17-2005, 07:05 PM

I guess I'm worried of making a mistake.

<big hug> MM, we're all worried about making mistakes. The truth is, though, that there are NO mistakes. Nothing is permanent. If you find you're unhappy with the next job you find....just put your chin up and start looking again. <grin>

scary, exciting.....sounds like something a cyclist would LOVE!

You can do it!! Enjoy life!

Namaste,
~T~

LBTC

03-17-2005, 07:53 PM

as Joseph Campbell said: "Follow your bliss" :o

Namaste,
~T~

pedalfaster

03-17-2005, 09:00 PM

money can't buy you back those 2 hours a day

When it comes down to money vs. time I , personally, always always choose time.

Time=health/fitness/emotional well-being/creativity. Money=more stuff. I've learned to live with less "stuff".

That's just me. I'm sure you'll make the best decision for you .

Good luck! :)

Melody

03-17-2005, 10:20 PM

as Joseph Campbell said: "Follow your bliss" :o

heh. I did that. :D Did I mention my last name is now Bliss? :D I took my hubby's name. :)

Mel

LBTC

03-17-2005, 10:25 PM

wow! Melody that's the coolest thing I've heard today! yay, you!!

:D

Namaste,
~T~

BikeMomma

03-18-2005, 01:41 AM

Bliss on a Bike. Now that's poetic!

MM, I have no more advice to add than what has already been said by all these wise and wonderful ladies, except to stress that whatever decision you make, make it for YOU, not anybody else.

Part of the reason I got out of cycling years ago was to spend time with my then BF, now hubby, which usually entailed going with him to do the things that HE liked to do or just hanging out with him just to be with him (he doesn't ride). I forgot who I was and what made me tick in there somewhere while falling in love with him and forgot to pay attention to myself too.

Ten years of marriage (happy, mind you) and three great, crazy children later, I'm putting my foot down HARD and fighting for my "me" time. I completely regret totally giving up who I was to be the model wife, mom, and career woman (still have that too). I wish now that I had not dropped the things I loved doing because I felt I should, in order to build a life with my husband and have a career job with better money.

The point of my gibberish may be: you're getting married soon (I remember from previous posts by you in other threads -- I'm the half-Brit who's English side lives close to you in Basingstoke - hello again!), you have no kids yet, and you're debating the career thing that will take time and you away from the things you enjoy doing, the things that define you. I see a parallel with myself as described above. With my hindsight now clear, if this were my choice to make again, I would definitely choose the job that will allow you to be and stay who you are (a cyclist, dog owner :p , etc.!), and not you molded into someone you won't recognize in 15 years.

Yet another point of view, huh? You have loads to think about now. I wish you the best, MM! :D :D
- Kim

MightyMitre

03-18-2005, 08:19 AM

I'm amazed at the number of responses. I guess work/life balance is a pretty key issue to all of us. Maybe I should start another thread about how people achieve that balance.

Apparently us Brits work the longest hours in Europe, and I think I'm right in say you guys in the States work even harder that us. I know from for sure you have far less paid holiday than we get and work very long hours.

It's great to hear so many people are bucking the trend and saying no to long hour and yes to more 'me' time. :)

Jo-n-NY

03-18-2005, 09:33 AM

Quote from LB

I'm an admin myself for a large forestry company that has recently been bought out by an equally larger forestry company so the company is now twice the size. My job hasn't changed a lot, but the morale is about as low as it can go. we've had a small organizational change and are currently waiting for our new building to be finished so we can move in. All of us expects that there will be more "org" changes (read job losses) and we just don't know when. The mood is less than cheerful. When I really look at it - I don't mind my job, I like the wages and benefits and what I get for the fairly low level of stress (the morale issue notwithstanding).

Another thread where you grabbed my attention. As I mentioned above, I am also and admin assist., company sold and bought years ago and now going through those organ. changes. I was the only one given a decision package or stay. As I feel there will be another organ. change at some point, 6mos or maybe 3 years who knows I decided to stay and by my time. At that point I will take the package but I have time to set up my family life. Personally, I also would rather do with less I take the time to do what we enjoy.

My husband owns a business with my brother, retail, which means working weekends. Of course I am off on weekends, so the only time we spend together, including riding together is me taking a vacation day on a Thursday his day off. But I don't have 52 vacation day. I don't mean this to be a sob story, but try to make the point that things have to be put into perspective, it just might take a little time to figure out. I better have mine figured out by the next organ. change ;)

Irulan

03-18-2005, 11:05 AM

but I guess you can put it into the leap of faith category.

18 years ago, He had a great $$ job, I was pregnant with our first, and he lost his job. In a lot of ways it was good because he was able to get into ground water ( his love and training) and out of oil. The bad part was he went in at ground level and we have to move to a really expensive area, live with his folks for a few months and so on.

We were living pay check to pay check, he was commuting 40 miles each way that took 2 hours each way, we weren't near the kind of area we liked being in the big city. Long story short, we had the oppurtunity to move, 1600 miles away, no family, pay cut, etc BUT it was a small city with good schools, affordable housing, and most importantly close to the outdoors lifestyle that we needed. We got a lot of crap for choosing to leave. Why would you leave the bay area?

You know, we never regretted our leap, not once. We were able to buy a beautiful home that we could have never afforded had we stayed. The school system is phenomenal. We have 5 ski areas within 70 miles. The cost of living is less. And we recoupped the pay cut and then some.

just 2¢

penny

massbikebabe

03-19-2005, 12:19 PM

MM:

Last year I was commuting for an hour+/day and making a healthy 6 figure income...but I was MISERABLE!! I missed my hubby, my kids, my bike and my dogs all in that order. Now, I am making half the money, have very flexible hours, am self supervised, ride weather permitting, and get home sometimes before the kids and I've never been happier. I always miss the money but make do...(forces me out of the bike shop)...and feel like I have a better QUALITY of life commuting less, and making less...but then again I am
a little older than you, (I'm 42), and maybe at a different stage in life...hope I'm not confusing you. Just my two cents...

karen

Dogmama

03-19-2005, 01:04 PM

[QUOTE=LBTC]<big hug> MM, we're all worried about making mistakes. The truth is, though, that there are NO mistakes. Nothing is permanent. If you find you're unhappy with the next job you find....just put your chin up and start looking again. <grin>

So true. I always say, "I was looking for a job when I found this one."

Well, here's where I part from the group (sort of)

MM, you are young. In 20-30 years, you'll be thinking of retirement. I, too, "fell" into a job I never thought I'd do (business manager at a University - heck I'm not even that good at math!). I'm now 5 years from retirement (due to the way that our retirement works, I'll can retire a 55) and I wouldn't change anything. I often thought that I'd rather have a job closer to home, more in line with my major (Romance Languages - hey - there's a money maker!) etc. But this has been a good career.

I think I'd bite the bullet & go for the bigger job. I also don't think that a commute is a bad thing. I used to commute an hour to work (driving) and found it to be relaxing because I listened to books on tape. If you're in a train, you can read, knit or take a nap. Heck, you could even do your makeup if you want! You already said in another thread that you don't have to do your hair :)

If the job totally reeks, you can find another. But I'd look towards the future first.

My $.03 (oops! I don't know how that converts to pounds!)

Justina

03-23-2005, 07:27 PM

I used to take the bus in and ride 25 miles home in the spring and summer. I quit that job last August ( it was part time anyway ) and went to being self employed full time. Now I ride the bus to work and ride 18 miles home all year except in the very worst weather. I'm Scared and poor but content.

Go with your gut & good luck

fixedgeargirl

03-24-2005, 01:12 PM

Until recently I lived in a small resort community with huge seasonal fluctuations of work. In my "youth" (mid-20's) I could ride the tide, work food service jobs during high seasons and afford the twice-yearly 6 week lay-offs. Plenty of time for recreating, I was livin' the high life.

Then I had a baby. I couldn't afford those 6-week lay-offs anymore. In this town of 2000 residents finding a full-time, year-round, inside job is something of a coup. I got one. I started as "Office Assistant" and became "Office Manager". Not something I ever, ever, ever imagined myself doing. Ever. In a million years. And in an industry that I didn't have much respect for. But I wound up respecting, and befriending, my employers (mom & pop biz). She is one of my very closest friends now. The work never really turned me on, but the team we developed kept me coming back. And I found my inspiration and intellectual stimulation in places outside my work. I was content with the whole package, not just looking to my work to fulfill my need for challenges and learning opportunities. The whole town is full of under-employed people who will rate their quality of life HIGH on the scale b/c there is such awesome skiing, mtbing, arts programs, hiking, etc. to fill their off-work hours. Plenty of waitstaff, ski instructors, bus drivers, all with BAs or higher, livin' the dream.

I guess this is just my anecdotal weigh-in on the work/life balance.

On the more practical end, the general unpredictability of life, have you and BF discussed your financial future? Life insurance? Savings? Investments? Disability insurance? Having a plan and a budget for these items may help settle your mind. Knowing there's something there in case tragedy should befall you or him could help you feel less vulnerable (insert grinning smiley here).

MightyMitre

03-25-2005, 08:03 AM

It's been fascinating hearing about everyones lives - thanks for sharing.

Time for a quick update...

I was offered the 'career' type job on Tuesday, which comes with a 40 mile train ride each way, and would have been a great job - except for the journey. So after a few days mulling it over I decided to take the plunge ... and turned it down! :D

This is definetly the right decision - when the agent phoned up and told me they were offering it, right after I put the phone down instead of leaping round the room full of excitement,I just felt down instead. So I decided to go with my gut instinct as I've discovered over time, 9 times out of 10 it's proved to be the right decision. I just need to learn to trust it more.

I can't believe I feel so happy at turning a job down :p - it means I've finally taken the plunge in following what I want to do instead of what I feel I ought to do, and it feels very liberating.

For the furture - there's a few potential jobs in the pipeline that are in my town, but now I've finally made a decision, instead of going round in circles it feels great. Can't wait to see what happens next.

Watch this space! :)