The calories don't count when . . . . .

[SadieKate]

I can't help it. What are your excuses?


The calories don't count when it's your birthday.
The calories don't count when you share it with the dog
The calories don't count when it's broken (she says reaching into the bottom of the cookie box)


What's your rationale for indulging? Your illogical reasoning?

[Hill Slug]

Calories don't count when no one else is around to witness them.....including the dog or cat or fish......

[jobob]

The calories don't count when it's broken That's because all the calories fall out. *

(*Lee-ism)

[DirtDiva]

Of course they fall out. It's all to do with entropy. ;)

Don't forget, of course, that a Diet Coke cancels out whatever calories may have been in whatever you had to eat with it.

[nuthatch]

The calories don't count when you've riden over 20 miles - glycogen stores must be rebuilt!!!

They also don't count when you are at the movies - something about the screen action seems to absorb them.

[DeniseGoldberg]

...What's your rationale for indulging? Your illogical reasoning?

Hey - who needs reasoning when it comes to chocolate?

[CorsairMac]

This one is one of my favs:

The calories don't count in doughnut holes coz they are Holes, so eat all you want!

[SadieKate]

The calories don't count in doughnut holes coz they are Holes, so eat all you want!

Bubba will love this one! Great rationale. They're a hole!

[LBTC]

calories don't count
people count

Namaste,
~T~

[Trek420]

they don't count when you're eating outside, the calories evaporate.

[Veronica]

Nothing counts when I'm in a bad mood.

V.

[yellow]

calories don't count
people count

I don't know why, but that made me laugh harder than I have in days.

I have this illogical/irrrational threshold of 2500. If I've burned 2500 calories, then they don't count. But if I haven't, I ingest the "empty" or perhaps "unnecessary" calories anyway and beat myself up about it...for a little while then I move on (I blame it all on Catholic School).

Think this may have something to do with my "overtraining problem"? :rolleyes:

Fortunately I'm not a big fan of chocolate. Now, Lay's ORIGINAL potato chips...WATCH OUT. I cannot purchase them otherwise I eat the whole bag.

tlkiwi: Does caffeine free Diet Coke cancel out more calories than regular Diet Coke?

[shewhobikes]

They don't count:

If they are liquid (wine!) :p
If you're having your period.
If, in the instance of cake, pie, etc., you don't cut a whole piece, you just come back for multiple small bites.
If you don't order dessert, you just eat a bite of someone else's.

[pedalfaster]

Now, Lay's ORIGINAL potato chips...WATCH OUT. I cannot purchase them otherwise I eat the whole bag.



Oh yeah I love those "single serving" packages. :D

My personal "single servings" are Girl Scout thin mint cookies, frozen, (actually *two servings*) and Pringles Reduced Fat Original Flavor. Yep I eat the whole can. I like the "reduced " (yeah right!) because they are less greasy/more crispy.

Uhm and microwave popcorn. Is there ANYone who does not eat the WHOLE bag? I am currently into the Paul Newman totally unflavored stuff. Just good corn-y flavor.

Mmmmm food....

[pedalfaster]

Back to the original post...

Calories don't count if you eat standing up! Everyone know that. ;)

Actually I have a story...

My sister, who has always had a problem with her weight, was watching me stand at the kitchen counter and snarf down the above mentioned can of Pringles and goodness-knows-what-else, and commented "They always say the way to loose weight is to sit down, fix a decent meal, and slowly enjoy your food...but that must be wrong because you stay slender..."

I just looked at her with amazment. The part she completely missed??? The SIX HOUR bike ride I'd just completed. :D :D :D

[SadieKate]

They don't count:
If, in the instance of cake, pie, etc., you don't cut a whole piece, you just come back for multiple small bites.

They don't count if you're just evening in up! "Oh, look, somebody cut that last piece crooked!"

[pedalfaster]

They don't count:

If they are liquid (wine!) :p
If you're having your period.
If, in the instance of cake, pie, etc., you don't cut a whole piece, you just come back for multiple small bites.


I think I just found my twin.... ;)

[massbikebabe]

If your kids don't finish something...why throw it out when other people are starving...

karen
another victim of Catholic school

[SadieKate]

Isn't the cocoa bean a vegetable?

[mommelisa]

Calories don't count if you eat standing up! Everyone know that. ;)

lol! my mother used to say the food would go to your big toe if you ate standing up... bigger shoes or bigger pants size, i'll take the bigger shoes!

[shewhobikes]

I think I just found my twin.... ;)

Were we separated at birth? Where in the midwest do you live?

[DirtDiva]

tlkiwi: Does caffeine free Diet Coke cancel out more calories than regular Diet Coke?Hmmm. I'm not sure. I don't believe in going without caffeine, so I have accumulated no experimental evidence on this one.

By the way, leftover stuff like the last of the cookie dough you scrape out of the bowl is also sans calories.

[pedalfaster]

Were we separated at birth? Where in the midwest do you live?

Hehe...actually I was born and raised in San Diego :cool:

[SadieKate]

Melody's tire post made me rememeber this:

Calories don't count when you have to eat all the vanilla wafers so you can cut up the mylar bag into pieces you can store in your tool bag for tire repair.

[nuthatch]

Melody's tire post made me rememeber this:

Calories don't count when you have to eat all the vanilla wafers so you can cut up the mylar bag into pieces you can store in your tool bag for tire repair.

This is the best yet! Anything for the benefit of the BIKE!!

[Melody]

Melody's tire post made me rememeber this:

:D

See I am useful! ;) I have to point that out to my husband from time to time. :rolleyes:

Here's mine. Calories don't count when you're tasting while cooking. Have to get it just right. :cool:

"Need more butter in this ..." ;)

Mel

[Pedal Wench]

Isn't the cocoa bean a vegetable?

And, chocolate is brown. Mushrooms are brown. Mushrooms are a vegetable with very few calories. Obviously, then, chocolate is a vegetable with very few calories!

For me, the calories don't count... the day before a long ride (carbo-loading) the day of the long ride (glycogen replenishing), or the day after (recovery!)

[LBTC]

For me, the calories don't count... the day before a long ride (carbo-loading) the day of the long ride (glycogen replenishing), or the day after (recovery!)

...and since you ride every other day.... :rolleyes:

Namaste,
~T~

[SadieKate]

I'm resurrecting this thread because I found a new excuse for Peppermint Mochas and a Blackbottom cupcake for breakfast: being put on a soft foods diet after having a temporary crown re-glued.

Oh, darn. What's for dinner? Marbleslab or Cold Stone? Ooh, how about pumpkin pie? If the dog gets the crust, the pie is probably negative calories.:o

[cindysue]

who needs an excuse? I rationalize everything! Especially when it comes to sushi, indian food, and ice cream........

[Eden]

who needs an excuse? I rationalize everything! Especially when it comes to sushi, indian food, and ice cream........

who needs to rationalize sushi - fish-rice-wasabi its yummy and good for you!

[Melody]

Ooh, how about pumpkin pie? If the dog gets the crust, the pie is probably negative calories.:o

Mmmm pumpkin pie...

Every year for Thanksgiving I go all out for dinner. Turkey, ham, beef, mashed potatoes, veggies, etc... and I bake anywhere from 10 to 20 pumpkin pies since I have family and friends who request a pie or two. Unfortunately since I can only get fresh pumpkins around that point in time I only make them during Thanksgiving but they're sooooooooooo good. :) They taste different from most other pumpkin pies due to the addition of maple syrup and the consistency is silkier since I use a food mill to make the puree instead of a food processor. :D

I'm thinking pie now though. :/

Mel who's waiting for her sister for lunch.

[nuthatch]

So hungry and stuck at work! Stop, you temptresses!

[caligurl]

UGH! but THEY DO COUNT! which is why i'm the only cyclist who has GAINED weight since taking up cycling! :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: cuz i need to eat so i don't bonk.... but now i'm getting FAT! :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

(tommy's, in n out, pat and oscar breadsticks and coldstone don't count as long as you rode that day... right??????? ya ya ya.... i KNOW! :mad:)

[Hell-uv-a-job]

If I see a nice looking brownie wrapped on plastic paper with no serving size or calorie information on the wrapper I asumme it does not have any calories. :p

[Hell-uv-a-job]

You are eating fruit pie (apple, cherries, etc.) since you need 5 servings of fruit a day. You can actually have 5 servings of pie.:rolleyes: :cool: ;)

[CorsairMac]

You are eating fruit pie (apple, cherries, etc.) since you need 5 servings of fruit a day. You can actually have 5 servings of pie.:rolleyes: :cool: ;)

hang on here - this could work....if I put whipped cream on my fruit pies or better yet, eat the fruit pies with ice cream, that should get in yet another one of those food pyramid thingie requirements right??

[caligurl]

well... if you are gonna think like that... ice cream is a DAIRY!

[nancielle]

Calories don't count on Sundays.
Calories don't count if you freeze the item (like a Snickers bar or M&Ms), freezes the calories right out of 'em.
Or is that sundaes? :rolleyes:

[DirtDiva]

It's both of 'em. ;)

[snapdragen]

Broken cookies have no calories.

[Duck on Wheels]

And, chocolate is brown. Mushrooms are brown. Mushrooms are a vegetable with very few calories. Obviously, then, chocolate is a vegetable with very few calories!

That's another one I've heard before -- that calories from anything brown don't count. That one and the evening-out-the-crooked-cut-pie one. Also a third: that they don't count if you're just finishing off those left-over bits that aren't enough for another meal and therefore not worth fridge space. After all, throwing out food is a sin, right?

[fultzie]

yep, that's why brown sugar is healthier than regular sugar! ;)

and second-hand calories don't count... especially if you swipe the fries/ cookie/ milkshake off of your friend/ brother's tray.

or if someone makes you a meal as a treat. that doesn't count.

and you *have* to eat the broken brownies/ cookies/ chips! they're *broken*! you can't subject some other poor person to eating the broken bits.

i spin with a group on sunday mornings, and then we make chocolate chip pancakes with syrup/ real bacon/ scrambled eggs in the bacon grease/ mimosas/ coffee... that doubly doesn't count, because it's sunday and we did a spinervals video! :D :cool:

[Lise]

fries don't count if everyone around you has some (like tonight).

I like the "negative calories" if you give the pie crust to the dog.

My sister said "milk chocolate" was a dairy product when she was pregnant...but her babies weighed 9# 3oz (a month premature) and 10# 6oz respectively :eek: .

Let's see...dark chocolate is good for your heart, no calories there. Whole grains don't have calories, as we all know. Ummmm...no way can soy milk have calories. Definitely, caffeine-free diet Coke is a calorie eliminator...if you're working all night, nothing you eat has calories...M&Ms are a vitamin if eaten at 4AM after delivering a baby...

Oh, man, is it time for me to go to bed! :p L.

[MomOnBike]

Of course, if you bike to the meal, the calories don't count. (Even if the greasy spoon joint you are going to is only 1 mile away - downhill.)

[btchance]

The week of the test. They all get used up with all that stress and energy it takes to stay up those extra hours.

[Lise]

The week of the test. They all get used up with all that stress and energy it takes to stay up those extra hours.
Oooo, good one! ;)

[Nanci]

When the food is smaller than a dime. Such as choc-covered espresso beans.

Nanci

[btchance]

Oooo, good one! ;)

Yep ;) and this is one of these weeks. pulmonary and cario pathophysiology tests, Friday and Saturday. hmm, maybe I should get back to studying.

[Hell-uv-a-job]

you can eat anything you want since you are sick and your body need to replenish supplies. ;)

[Lise]

When you care for pregnant women for a living. I mean, somebody has to model "small frequent meals" for them, right? Oh, the sacrifices I make...:rolleyes:

[Melody]

Of course, if you bike to the meal, the calories don't count. (Even if the greasy spoon joint you are going to is only 1 mile away - downhill.)

Ahh... but you have to ride that 1 mile to get backup... up hill ;) :)

Mel

[MomOnBike]

Ahh... but you have to ride that 1 mile to get backup... up hill

Tailwinds! (yeah, that's the story...) :D

[Trek420]

* calories don't count at any TE gal dinner/after ride drink (uhm, meal) :D

[SadieKate]

I couldn't resist. I just had to add it to the list.

The calories don't count when it is to solve a grammar or spelling question.

[TsPoet]

Anybody get my favorite - if you eat half.
If you eat 1/2 of a cookie, you can subtract the calories in the 1/2 not eaten from the half you eat and come out with 0.
The math works, it really does.

[uk elephant]

I generally don't count calories, but always have an excuse for eating stuff that probably has a lot of them :rolleyes: ....
ice cream - my main source of calcium
chocolate - full of antioxidants, good for preventing heart disease and osteoporosis and a few other things and if it's milk chocolate that means more calcium
chips/crisps - I sweat just going up stairs so I'm sure I need more salt in my diet.
apple pie - part of the 5 fruits a day...and an apple a day keeps the doctor away or so they say...make it a-la-mode and you've covered the dairy category too.

[MomOnBike]

When my pre-school daughter discovered that Big Sister was learning subtraction and division, she had to learn these neat things too. Wanting to make things easier for her, I pulled out the chocolate chips & showed her all about division and subtraction. (we grouped 3's and 5's for division & then subtracted into our mouths)

When you are teaching math to your far-too-smart-for-her-own-good preschool daughter the chocolate chips consumed in the process have no calories.

[DrBee]

I generally don't count calories, but always have an excuse for eating stuff that probably has a lot of them :rolleyes: ....
ice cream - my main source of calcium
chocolate - full of antioxidants, good for preventing heart disease and osteoporosis and a few other things and if it's milk chocolate that means more calcium
chips/crisps - I sweat just going up stairs so I'm sure I need more salt in my diet.
apple pie - part of the 5 fruits a day...and an apple a day keeps the doctor away or so they say...make it a-la-mode and you've covered the dairy category too.

Ditto on the ice cream and chocolate. I use those excuses too often. I used the sweating excuse for eating copious amounts of fritos and blackbean and corn salsa last weekend after a ride in 85F heat and about 90% humidity. Oh, they were good.

Here's another excuse: Hershey's Take5 bar... It's a balanced snack. There's salt on the pretzel for replacing loss from sweating while riding, and hey - pretzels are supposed to be good for you, right???, protein in the peanut butter than ran by the candy bar, the chocolate is good for you for reasons UK stated above, and the caramel..... well.... the jury's still out on that one.

[cinderly]

The caramel prevents your blood sugar from dropping too low as a result of exertion.

[DrBee]

Sweeeeet Cinderly! That's a good one.

I'm preventing heart disease and osteoporosis right now...:p

[margo49]

On Shabbat calories don't count.

[crazycanuck]

Calories don't count when you volunteer your time at a half ironman....(6am-noon on saturday!!!)

They also don't count when you watch the #1 triathlete zoom out of transition....(man was he fast!!!)

c