Hubby is mad that I won't ride......

[GeorigaGirl94]

I'm fairly new to this site my husband usually posts here. My problem is this: he bought a bike for me which I LOVE- BUT my saddle is a nightmare. It came with a Selle Italia and then he gave me his old Selle Concor which looks like he stole it off Fred Flintstones bike! It is sooo uncomfortable for me to ride. I try and I've been successful agreeing to go on a few rides with him and I had a great time BUT it really hurt my sensitive areas. He thinks I'm just being a picky B**** and basically I just don't want to ride with him. We are at it again today. It's a beautiful day and I would love to go riding with him but I refuse to keep hurting myself. He keeps saying I ride with the same kind of saddle I gave you...YEA well it hurts me. I absolutely love my bike and really enjoy riding with him so how can I express this to him and make him believe it? He is a true cyclist right down to the bone..records all races, buys all the mags and rides whenever he can. If I'd let him he'd have our room plastered in bicycle stuff including the bikes...:)

I really want to enjoy the sport and get into but he's not helping at all!

ANY advice would be greatly appreciated as I'm sure he'll be reading them..:)

Jamie

[tulip]

HEY HUBBY!!! THE LITTLE LADY NEEDS A SADDLE THAT WORKS FOR HER! THIS IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE! DON'T SKIMP ON THE SADDLE! AND SHE MIGHT NEED TO TRY OUT A BUNCH TO GET THE ONE THAT'S JUST RIGHT, SO DON'T GIVE HER A HARD TIME!

really!

[Zen]

Doe he not realize men and women have different anatomy?

[maillotpois]

I couldn't ride 10 miles on the saddle my husband has. And it's a great saddle - for him. It makes me feel like I am being given a colonoscopy.

[Eden]

I think the gist of what your husband says is true - you don't want a big squashy saddle - more firm tends to be more comfortable BUT - women are built differently than men and the saddle he finds comfortable may be a torture device to you.

A few things to remember:

If you are new to riding you backside will take some time to adjust to a saddle. Expect to have a bruised feeling over you sit bones after you ride, which will tend to lessen and go away the more regularly you are using the bike, BUT a saddle should not touch, rub, numb or otherwise affect your soft tissues. Some people (like me) prefer a cut out or a channel, others are good with just a nice firm saddle.

You will need a saddle that is matched to the width of your sit bones - it is typical that women will need a wider saddle than most men, which may be why your husband's hand me down saddle is so uncomfortable. If your sit bones are falling off the edge.... ouch!

Squashy (gel, padding, etc) isn't always better or more comfortable - if you sink into a saddle it can cause all sorts of rubbing and pressure problems that a firm saddle won't. A firm saddle may cause your sit bones more discomfort in the sort run, but that will ease. A saddle that rubs will *never* get better.

[SadieKate]

Hey, Hubby! When you menustruate and wear an underwire 16 hours a day, YOU can talk. Until then, help her find a saddle that fits her anatomy.

What, you expect her to hike 20 miles in your castoff hiking boots also?

If you're "a true cyclist right down to the bone..records all races, buys all the mags and rides" you'll notice that everyone rides a different saddle.

And, GeorigaGirl, nothing says you can't go to the bike shop yourself and find a new saddle. :)

[bouncybouncy]

Jamie...if he is the cyclist he claims to be he should know that saddles are VERY personal!!!!***** Tho he may not realize the difference in womens saddles...you are going to get great advice and I am sure he will read it...so here is mine:

I love Terry!!! I have a butterfly (commuter), a Zero (roadie), and 2 Damselflies (mtn)....

Butterfly - great, cushy, comfy, wide enough w/o being too wide, best all around! too wide for my mtn cause I had issues getting off the back for steep, techy downhill. Eventually caused chaffing on long (70 + miles) road ride...just too much friction. But an awesome saddle.

Zero - love it...no complaints...fits perfect! Why not on my cummuter? I like the cush on short rides...the Zero is narrow and sleek...not so cushy.

Damselfly - it is hard...but wears in! Narrow...easy to get my tush off the back w/o my thighs getting in the way. Gets a little hard on the long fireroad climbs...but those are dull and annoying anyway.

A friend rides a WTB Diva...loves it!!!

The cutout in the saddle is important to alot of women (not all) so that may be something to look for!

My hubby LET me use his saddle for one of my bikes once...hahahahahhaha:eek:...I made it to the corner and back...never again!!! Your hubby should know by now that womens parts are different than man parts:p...so their saddles should be different as well!!!

Now go find a good comfy saddle and ride on....!!!!:)

*****my hubby sometimes chooses components for me that HE would like...he is learning that a 5' female is very different than a 6'2" male...this is after 3 years of riding together and 2 professional bike fits for me!!! It is a learned trait...patience for both partners!!!!

[SadieKate]

I think the gist of what your husband says is true - you don't want a big squashy saddle - more firm tends to be more comfortable BUT - women are built differently than men and the saddle he finds comfortable may be a torture device to you.Did I miss something? Where did he talk about a squashy saddle?

Though I do agree with you 1,000 and 1%+ about squashy saddles.

[tulip]

And, GeorigaGirl, nothing says you can go to the bike shop yourself and find a new saddle. :)

Absolutely! (well, I think she meant can't)Did you buy the bike (I mean, go to the bike shop and try bikes out and compare fit)? Did you get a pro-fit on your bike?

Proper saddle + proper bike fit = painfree bike rides

[mimitabby]

with or without hubby, start looking for better (for you) saddles. start here in our saddle threads and you also might need to be fitted to your bike !

[GeorigaGirl94]

No I didn't get a professional fit for my bike. He picked it out, bought it and luckily for me ..it's great. I've had one other bike that I absolutely hated. (he's tried to get me into cycling for years). Unfortunately he is one of the know it all types and I'm trying to explain that I'm not being picky or trying to be lazy I just don't want to hurt. My butt if fine it's the umm...can't say this delicately...my other area that hurts...goes numb. Hours after a ride I can wipe and they will still feel kinda numb and sore.
There is one bike shop here that I really like so maybe I'll chance going in alone or with him (being a silent helper) and try out a saddle. I've heard lots of good things about Terry. I wear Terry shorts and for the most part love them. This is also my first time using clipless pedals so I am a true beginner...:D

Hubby says my brakes are my best friend...I still get a lil nervous going downhill especially steep hills and tend to use my brakes more than I probably should. I'll learn as I go..but I just wanted some input on the saddles to show him I'm not the only one who understands what an uncomfortable saddle is all about!
Thanks guys

[bouncybouncy]

NOW...before you get discouraged or overwhelmed (like I did) take the time to search saddle threads and read a few...here is a recent one on girly parts and all

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showthread.php?t=20938&highlight=saddle

One of our local shops lets you lease saddles (they have a basket full of them) you can try out and get an idea of what you like. Maybe you have a shop in your area that does the same.

...and keep reading here!!! These gals are full of knowledge and always there when you need them regardless of the topic!!!! Lean on TE...we will keep you upright!!!

[GLC1968]

How is it that your hubby can post on this forum but yet not immediately get that cycling for women is different than it is for men?? If he did the research necessary to find and purchase your bike, you'd think he'd have gotten at least a small clue that female anatomy affects bike set up and comfort??!!

I agree with others that reading the saddle threads on this forum and going to your LBS (probably without him in tow) is your best bet. It is possible to find a saddle that will work for YOU...so don't get discouraged! Good luck!!

[mimitabby]

Don't worry too much about downhills yet, let's get the saddle issues taken care of first. As you ride more; you'll get braver on the downhills.

Get thee to a bike shop!

[MM_QFC!]

I agree w/Mimi: head to your LBS, preferably alone, so as to learn for yourself what you need for yourself. No slight intended to your DH, but this is one um area that the default figuring should have you being the expert; his experience and input really aren't valid for your needs here and it's too important to allow anyone else but yourself to determine what's best!

[Eden]

Did I miss something? Where did he talk about a squashy saddle?

Though I do agree with you 1,000 and 1%+ about squashy saddles.

I'll admit I've made a few assumptions - my hubby is a Selle Italia devotee.. they tend towards pretty severly minimal saddles in their racing line, so I kind of read between the lines of Georgia Girls frustrations and took away that hubby has very likely said this saddle type (hard rather than soft) is more comfortable and this saddle is comfortable for me, so there's no reason it shouldn't be comfortable than you..... but what he has forgotten is that she most likely needs a wider saddle... the men's Selle line also tends to run very narrow...

[Grog]

I feel your pain (not literally thankfully!!).

Just because your husband knows-it-all doesn't mean that he can fit your bike properly for you. Obviously the bike is NOT properly fitted because you are resting your weight on your soft tissue instead of your sitbones. It's normal to have some soreness on the sitbones when you start riding. It's NOT normal to have numb genitals.

Your saddle could be perfectly fine, but too far back on the bike, or your stem is too long, causing you to stretch too much and rest your weight on your anatomical soft spot.

I would suggest going to a bike shop you trust - on your own, unless your husband can really just be quiet, even in his non-verbal language - and getting yourself fitted, and getting your sitbones on a saddle of the right width. Perhaps your current saddle will be just fine once it's properly located on the bike. Perhaps not, and then you get to shop for a new one.

If you're not fitted properly, you can switch saddles all you want, you may never be comfortable, and never enjoy riding.

Good luck. It shouldn't hurt like that and good for you for trying to get it fixed.

[Zen]

it's the umm...can't say this delicately...my other area that hurts...goes numb.


Labia majora?
Labia minora?
Perineum?
Twinkie?

[SadieKate]

Thanks, Zen, I don't quite understand why clinical terms are so difficult to use. :confused: It certainly takes the guess work out of the conversation.

[Zen]

and maybe find yourself someone else to ride with who's a little less...pushy. at least until you feel more comfortable.

[salsabike]

Twinkie, THAT'S it. :p

I agree with Grog and all the others. It is very important that you get a bike fit done by an expert, and it probably would go best if you went by yourself so you could feel free to say, Hey, it hurts THERE; can you fix that? THEN you can set about making saddle decisions, and you may well want to change at that point.

[bouncybouncy]

Twinkie?

my hubby may actually think of the pastry...then it would lead into a whole 'nother dicussion!

who-ha!
that is what it is 'round here...:p

[motochick]

I have nothing in the way of advice to add as everyone else has pretty much covered it....but, I have 2 selle italia lady gel flow saddles lying around that I do not need anymore. They worked great for me on rides under 50 miles but now that my mileage has increased, I have switched to a selle an-atomica. If you would like to try the gel flow, I will ship one to you at no cost and you can give it a whirl. You don't need to feel like you have to buy it or anything, I am just trying to help you out. PM me if you are interested.

Brenda

[Kalidurga]

I'll second Zen's suggestion. Maybe find some women to ride with until you've gained more experience. That way, know-it-all hubby might see you making the effort to get into cycling, and you'll be in a less intimidating atmosphere in which to ask questions and learn.

[gnat23]

It wasn't until I got the proper saddle that I realized that I could ride my bike *and* have sex (not at the same time, of course, silly). I mean, that I didn't have to decide between enjoying one or the other.

I'm usually don't advocate withholding sex from a significant other to get what you want, but you probably have a pretty good case in order to get the proper saddle for this one. If it hoits, it hoits. And that's that.

-- gnat!

[Wahine]

Gnat beat me to it. I am firmly against with holding sex (mostly because I would suffer more) but I have used that line when justifying a new saddle purchase or fit adjustment. And not because I'm being manipulative but because I simply could not tolerate sex because of chaffing and pain. One thing I can say for sure is that he stops bugging me about spending money on a saddle when I bring the topic up.

[Starfish]

So, your hubby posts here on TE? What, pray tell, is his user name?

And, +1 here to so many things already mentioned: bike fit, new saddle, etc. You do not need a controlling husband's permission to go try out as many saddles as it takes to find the right one for you.

[mimitabby]

So, your hubby posts here on TE? What, pray tell, is his user name?

And, +1 here to so many things already mentioned: bike fit, new saddle, etc. You do not need a controlling husband's permission to go try out as many saddles as it takes to find the right one for you.

finally someone asks the question we all want to know!!
:D

btw, Welcome to TE! as you can see, we're a lively bunch filled with great ideas and experience, and we're on YOUR side. :D:D:D:D:cool::cool::cool::p

[Starfish]

"Thanks julie once the computer gets fixed ill show her. also thanks Eden, I use looks and have always used them but i was wondering if theres are some pedals that are easier to get in and out of as far as shoes sounds like mountain bike will work for her. and the speed plays look easier . just trying to make everything comfortable for her so she wont wanna quit"

OK, so this is a cut and paste from GeorgiaGirl's hubby when he was asking about which pedals might be best.

So...there isn't much more important than not having one's clitoris or other genitalia screaming in pain while riding, to promote sticking with cycling.

[mimitabby]

OH, he posted using HER user name.

[Kalidurga]

"Thanks julie once the computer gets fixed ill show her. also thanks Eden, I use looks and have always used them but i was wondering if theres are some pedals that are easier to get in and out of as far as shoes sounds like mountain bike will work for her. and the speed plays look easier . just trying to make everything comfortable for her so she wont wanna quit"

OK, so this is a cut and paste from GeorgiaGirl's hubby when he was asking about which pedals might be best.

So...there isn't much more important than not having one's clitoris or other genitalia screaming in pain while riding, to promote sticking with cycling.

And here I go again with the blasphemy...

While I am totally addicted to cycling, and I can understand wanting to share what you love with your partner, hubby needs to understand that not everyone shares our love of this activity. It's very admirable that he's trying so hard to make things comfortable for her, but he has to also allow the option for her to quit if she chooses to. Maybe I'm reading too much into that little snippet above, but making someone feel as if they have to enjoy your favorite activity is a potential recipe for disaster.

GeorgiaGirl, you've gotta decide for yourself whether or not cycling's something you want to do. If it is, then you've gotten some great advice here to help you get going.

[Trek420]

Adding to the "Hey Hubby" blurbs "Hey DH, let's see how far you ride with sandpaper on the chamois and a few paper clips on choice sensitive areas".

Have you tried "not tonight dear,that saddle is just soooooooo uncomfortable I'm in pain". You'd probably wake up to a selection "here, I got you a dozen different top TE rated saddles. Let's try each till we find the one that's 'love at first sit" ;)

[MM_QFC!]

Adding to the "Hey Hubby" blurbs "Hey DH, let's see how far you ride with sandpaper on the chamois and a few paper clips on choice sensitive areas".

Have you tried "not tonight dear,that saddle is just soooooooo uncomfortable I'm in pain". You'd probably wake up to a selection "here, I got you a dozen different top TE rated saddles. Let's try each till we find the one that's 'love at first sit" ;)

after first wincing at the initial word picture, owie! - I had to hold onto my desk to not be ROTFLMAO in ze office! Good one, Trek - thanks for the grin and you got your point across oh so subtly too:eek::p

[shootingstar]

Best to drop by LBS yourself and try a different saddle. There's no point trying to convince him otherwise ..when he doesn't have your anatomy. Hopefully you have a receipt for a swap???

A LBS would give the most objective opinion from their perspective..on how often people do come back to try different saddles.

And do some rides yourself on that great bike...you need to build up your endurance, literally and mentally so that you can enjoy rides with him.

I could never be comfortable on my partner's saddle, it's a red hot little Italia..line..narrow profile..

[singletrackmind]

Sneak a woman's saddle onto his bike, that should cover any and all questions he has concerning why you might feel the way you do about inbetweens pain!

One of my best friends bought a bike with a saddle too wide, kept complaining he felt like he was being split apart, couldn't go more than 10 miles in complete agony. My bike came with a narrow saddle and I was really really really unsittably sore after 20 miles.
We switched and happily rode many many miles off into the sunset. :)

[mimitabby]

and my DH says "If it affects our sex life, I will SHRED IT!!!!! Personal comfort above all else.

(and you can share THAT with your TE girlyfriends). "

[Flybye]

No I didn't get a professional fit for my bike. He picked it out, bought it and luckily for me ..it's great. I've had one other bike that I absolutely hated. (he's tried to get me into cycling for years). Unfortunately he is one of the know it all types and I'm trying to explain that I'm not being picky or trying to be lazy I just don't want to hurt. My butt if fine it's the umm...can't say this delicately...my other area that hurts...goes numb. Hours after a ride I can wipe and they will still feel kinda numb and sore.
There is one bike shop here that I really like so maybe I'll chance going in alone or with him (being a silent helper) and try out a saddle. I've heard lots of good things about Terry. I wear Terry shorts and for the most part love them. This is also my first time using clipless pedals so I am a true beginner...:D

Hubby says my brakes are my best friend...I still get a lil nervous going downhill especially steep hills and tend to use my brakes more than I probably should. I'll learn as I go..but I just wanted some input on the saddles to show him I'm not the only one who understands what an uncomfortable saddle is all about!
Thanks guys


I can't help but wonder if there is a little more here than just the saddle. I know that the saddle is AN issue, but I would be willing to bet that the nervousness and his pressure to get you to ride when you don't want to is really part of the problem. Especially if you say that he is a know it all type and within the context of him thinking of you as being a b****. I don't know about you, but I have to do things my own way with my own expectations and within my own time frame. You also need to know that you MAY not LIKE to ride and that if you don't, it is perfectly OKAY.

If you do like riding and would enjoy it more with a new saddle, my advice would be to get a saddle that works and find time to ride without him, thereby increasing your confidence with the brakes, the saddle and the clipless peddles. Maybe ride when he doesn't even know about it so you can surprise him. Find a quiet bike path. I can't imagine being new and trying to ride with someone else, ESPECIALLY someone like my dear husband. I need time - QUIET TIME - to hear myself think - to think about important things like "stop sign coming up, how do I unclip again??" and "which gear shift is up and which is down?" and "I'd like to stop and rest now" I sure couldn't do it with someone controlling handing out advice and helping when all I need is some quiet time to get my confidence built. ONCE you have YOUR confidence - then join him.

If I am way off base here, then snag a saddle and get riding!!:D:D:D

[RoseRydr]

I'm new to posting but had to throw my two cents in here... I've found that hubbys and boyfriends are sometimes the worst teachers out there even if they have your interest at heart. The whole Mars/Venus communication thing is amplified...

There is a lot to think about when you first start out; do I need to shift, which way do I push it again?, should I unclip now? Pothole, glass, gravel, tree stump... Aaaahhhh!!!! I agree with Flybe; get the saddle sitch straightend out and get out by yourself. Or if you don't feel comfortable doing that find a group of women ONLY to ride with. It's a whole different energy! Much more mellow and usually offer tips in a gentle way.

I went through 5 saddles on my first bike and ended up modifying one to make it work for me! When it comes to saddles I like to think of us women as snow flakes; we may look similar but we're all different. That's why there are a gillion saddles on the market. For me, the Terry saddles tore me up but others love them. I like Koobie saddles. They don't just have a cut out (if that's what you need) they have a channel all the way down. Check out their web site koobie.com.

[GeorigaGirl94]

I love him and he Does "try" to help but your aren't too far off base. I would like to ride on our local riverwalk and feel "safe" and we start our ride off on a fairly busy street with dozens of soldiers out and about..it's a bit nerve wracking. I do however, enjoy when we hit the backroads, no traffic just the sounds of nature. He really helps with the gear issues though because without him I'd totally lost. I have to take up for him because he really thinks he's doing me a favor and in part he is and in part he's not. I can learn from him but I would like to learn some things on my own in my own good time. I'm a bit of a hermit though and he is my dearest friend and we do spend a lot of time together so it seems only natural that we are riding partners. He says he likes to ride with me because he can work on his spin and just take it easy. He says he just enjoys being out there with me. So far...saddle aside for the most part I've really enjoyed our rides.

Take it easy on him girls he's sensitive...:)

Thanks for all the advice and I will take it to heart and hopefully I'll be able to come back and tell you all about my great rides!!

Jamie

[PinkBike]

+1 on what flybye said.

also, just to emphasize -- choice of saddle is a very personal preference. maybe he's heard from other women that the saddle you have is great, but that doesnt mean it will be great for YOU.

for example, i have seen ladies post on here that they just love their fizik arione and yet when i sat on one i thought my "twinkies" were on fire! i love terry firefly and damselfly but cant ride on the butterfly. it takes a lot of trial and error to find "YOUR" saddle. when i got my first road bike i almost quit the sport completely after my first long ride because the saddle was so uncomfortable -- and it was one recommended by other women. so its a personal thing, not even necessarily a woman thing. DH was never satisfied with his saddle and kept switching out until we FINALLY found "HIS"- the specialized alias.

theres one out there for you. you'll know it when you seat it. dont give up.

[Triskeliongirl]

One last point, a saddle that is set too high even if it is good in other ways can also cause you problems, as your girly bits get sawed over the saddle with each pedal stroke. Sometimes women need the rear of the saddle slightly higher than the front (whereas a lot of guys prefer the nose up), but not all of us. Many of us prefer Brooks leather saddles (I ride a Brooks Finesse) but the issue is we are all diff., and we each need a saddle that is well suited to our individual anatomies beyond even being male or female. I would take that gal up on the offer of sending you her lady gel flow. That is identical to the terry butterfly, a very popular saddle.

I strongly urge you to visit the shop where DH bought the bike, and ask to have them fit YOU to the bike. Tell them the problems you are having, and let them work with you to solve it.

[shootingstar]

and my DH says "If it affects our sex life, I will SHRED IT!!!!! Personal comfort above all else. "

Pretty key, don't you think for preserving a long-term joint cycling-marriage?

[Aggie_Ama]

and my DH says "If it affects our sex life, I will SHRED IT!!!!! Personal comfort above all else.

(and you can share THAT with your TE girlyfriends). "


Mimi your husband is always the voice of reason. :D:D

[KnottedYet]

GeorgiaGirl - does he let you have friends? Maybe you could take a friend to the LBS with you when you go. Being completely dependent on your DH for every aspect is perhaps not the best way to proceed, especially considering the differences in anatomy, interest, skill level, and motivation.

I've worked with far too many women in unbalanced domestic power situations. Please be aware that this much control over one person by the other member in the relationship is detrimental to both of you. Set out on your own two feet in regards to YOUR bicycle and YOUR riding. It will be good for you both.

[Zen]

Please be aware that this much control over one person by the other member in the relationship is detrimental to both of you. Set out on your own two feet in regards to YOUR bicycle and YOUR riding. It will be good for you both.

+1 to that.
Once you get a comfy saddle, go out on your own. Ride where you feel safe. Maybe explore a new neighborhood, choose a destination where you can go have a cup of tea and let your mind relax. You never know what's out there.

[Trek420]

+1 to that.
Once you get a comfy saddle, go out on your own. Ride where you feel safe. Maybe explore a new neighborhood, choose a destination where you can go have a cup of tea and let your mind relax. You never know what's out there.

I bet there are a few, even many of us in Georgia. If you posted a TE ride that could either be a leisurely ride with TE gals or breaks into groups. Your DH could try to keep up with faster TE gals (and their guys if they bring 'em.) :cool:

Ride with other experienced riders, you'll soon catch up with him. Also gives you a chance to really see how others set their bikes up. I've learned a lot here that way.

[Wahine]

When my DH wants to ride with me, he rides with me and my girlfriends and we usually call the shots. As much as I hope that you continue to ride together I think it is really important to interact with other riders as well. It's so great to hear other opinions and perspectives. Oh wait, that's what TE is for.:D

[Starfish]

I've worked with far too many women in unbalanced domestic power situations. Please be aware that this much control over one person by the other member in the relationship is detrimental to both of you. Set out on your own two feet in regards to YOUR bicycle and YOUR riding. It will be good for you both.

+1. Knot, thanks for being explicit. So true. It is better for both.

[Triskeliongirl]

You raised two issues:

1) saddle issues. you've gotten a lot of good suggestions on how to deal with this. if it were me I would start with a professinal fit.

2) needing hubby to help you understand gearing. try this link: http://www.sheldonbrown.com/gearing/index.html

I think you need to decide if you want to ride, for you, and if so, take personal responsibility to solve your fit problems and educate yourself on how this simple machine works. It may have come off wrong on how you said it, but it sounds like you have fear that unfortuanatly many women in our society seem to have of understanding mechanical things.

In some ways this is turning into a discussion of feminism, but I think that is cool. When I was younger I identified with feminism, but once I became a successful professional I didn't think that much about it. But my daughter attends a womens college and is very much in tune with modern feminism (we are even going to V-day in New Orleans together, any other TE gals going???) and the equity (or lack there of) issues that still plague many women around the world.

We are not trying to judge you, or your relationship, but we are letting you know that its OK to be a strong women, and that strong women take responsibility for solving their own problems and getting what they want in life.

In terms of my personal experience with relationships, we are about to celebrate our 23th wedding anniversary, and yeh we do cycle together, and would never let a saddle come between us. We have mutual respect for each other, and helping each other achieve their goals. Can I ask how old you are? (i am 50). I will also add that for us, cycling togehter often means going together to a club ride and having lunch together after, but then he'll ride with his peer group and I'll ride with mine. We do tour together, but that is a different dynamic, and he'll carry more luggage to even us out a bit (he is a stronger rider).

Ditto what knotted said.

[Starfish]

we are letting you know that its OK to be a strong women, and that strong women take responsibility for solving their own problems and getting what they want in life.


Well said.

I don't even see this as a feminist issue...substitute the word person for the word women, above, and it makes all kinds of sense for any relationship (for young men with their moms/dads or others, etc...about any relationship).

[Triskeliongirl]

Oh, I so agree. I had a similar conversation with a male graduate student the other day that I thought was giving in to 'weakness' and not living up to his potential.

Loving another person, whether a partner, parent, sibling, etc. means wanting to work to help both people be strong.

[OakLeaf]

(we are even going to V-day in New Orleans together, any other TE gals going???)

Oh Trisk I am so jealous! Eve Ensler was in the next town last week. I went to hear her speak and even dragged DH out, he was very reluctant to go but afterward he was really glad he went. (and that he wasn't the only male there :p) She was fabulous.

/hijack off - nothing really to add to what others have said, just adding my support for GG!

[sgtiger]

Hi GeorigaGirl94! Welcome to TE and the world of cycling!:D:cool: I'd definitely take the advice of others about getting professionally fit on your bike as pain in your girly bits can indicate more than just the saddle being not right for you and should not be ignored or scoffed at for that matter. Besides the immediate problems of being extremely uncomfortable(and I've been there - Ooh, ow, ow! Absolutely not FUN! :eek::mad:), there are some health issues that may arise from it. The friction and pressure from the saddle rubbing may leave you more vunerable to UTI's and yeast infections. Then there's damage of soft tissue and nerves, some of which may be irriversible. These are only a few of the things that come to mind of problems expressed by other riders. So PLEASE listen to your body: it is trying to tell you something and it couldn't make itself more clear!

More important than the saddle issues; however, is communication. It's absolutely key in cycling. This is true for anyone with whom you may ride, but especially true IMHO when riding with your partner. And honoring what each of you has to say is part of good communication. It's really not a bad skill set to have off the bike too.;) I understand the fustrations of starting out when one partner is more experienced than the other(I'm in your shoes-DH has been cycling for years and my interest didn't pique 'til last year, and I'm kinda a homebody too), and it's only compounded when that partner puts too many expectations on the other. This is a time that the both of you need to exercise lots of patience.(Something I'm not always good at. :rolleyes::o)

While it's commendable thay you and your DH want to find an activity to spend more quality time together, make sure that it's one that you both enjoy. Quality time should be fun and used to build a stronger, healthier relationship.

~Soo

[SadieKate]

GeorigaGirl, just wanted to let you know that I don't read your husband as controlling at all. RoseRyder got it so right -- I've found that hubbys and boyfriends are sometimes the worst teachers out there even if they have your interest at heart. The whole Mars/Venus communication thing is amplified...

This thread does seem to be going off into worries about your relationship when I didn't see that at all. I've got an ex-military officer hubby and he can be an opinionated SOB at times. Thinks he knows everything and will butt into conversations in stores when I'm trying to gather info from the expert, expert NOT being him. I've just learned to kick him in the shins.:cool: The man likes to talk but he's durable. 24 years of shin-kicking and he still tries it. Or maybe he's just a slower learner. :rolleyes:

Is he controlling? Not at all. Matter of fact, he'll frequently recognize before I when I need to do something on my own, without him, and would never read or post here because he sees it as my space (unless I ask him to). He's incredibly enthusiastic and supportive of me, but can he be an arrogant know-it-all? You bet.

Anyway, just wanted you to know that not all of us think your husband is in anyway detrimentally controlling -- at least from what we've read here. He sounds in many ways like a winner.

Try as many saddles as it takes and a fitting to be sure you have the saddle in the right place on the bike and under your anatomy. And many happy miles together.

[Crankin]

Trisk, I am one who gladly lets my husband do ALL of the mechanical work. I can barely tie my shoes and it's a miracle that I even ride and understand the gearing and can somewhat converse on an intelligent level about the mechanical aspects of cycling. I consider myself a feminist, but I just suck at anything that is mechanical, requires eye hand coordination, or even remembering the steps of how to do something that involves a machine or technology. I would be quite happy with no computers, IPods, cell phones, etc. In fact, I often tell my husband, who is a gadget guru, that I feel like I can't use half the stuff in our house. He always volunteers to show me, but I just get too frustrated, mainly because I think it's not necessary in the first place and I zone out. And believe me, it wasn't that I was brought up to be a shrinking violet. In my family, my mom could do anything mechanical and my dad is worse than me when it comes to this stuff. I know I have a visual perception issue, but I have solved this problem by totally avoiding things that require this ability. I still don't like to ride alone because I live in fear of a mechanical, but I do. I've been to tons of workshops, had other women show me stuff, and it just goes in one ear and out the other. I know that this sounds whiny, but some people, men included, really are bad at this stuff, or just don't like it.

[shootingstar]

Sounds like Georgia, your DH does alot of cycling on his own, so something can always be worked out so he gets his fast workout on his own and joins you separately on a different ride.

In reading this whole thread, makes me realize how symbiotic my cycling competence and development has evolved in relation to my partner who is stronger cycling-wise..over nearly the past 17 yrs. In fact, I started off knowing him with cycling at the start of our relationship but neither of us never knew that the other had a cycling interest in the lst 6 months of knowing each other.

He is by nature, a patient person. From the beginning, he always went off on his own fitness rides. Then at a different time, he would join up with me for a ride where he had to ride and wait for me along the way. He tried to teach me gearing, but I actually didn't get it in my head...until I joined a women's cycling group.

By nature, both he and I are, each friendly hermits. :):) We like to each do our own thing, but like to share doing other shared actitivities also. From the beginning of returning to cycling (31), I always enjoyed doing some solo rides....after he showed me on bike, cycling routes that I wanted to do on my own if he wasn't around to be with me due to our personal schedules.

I've had my flats, etc. and no, am not the most mechanical ...even after attending women's workshops on fixing bike flats, etc...so I have accepted responsibility for myself when this happens when I'm alone on bike and just....walk home or throw the bike onto bus or subway homeward. We don't have a car, so I can't phone him to pick me up. That's ok. I've lived a car-free life for so long even before him. I use bike shops for repairs that he doesn't feel well-versed on certain problems.

I don't depend on him for cycling...after all, he and I lived in 2 different cities for 2.5 years of our relationship when he was forced to relocated. Each of us continued to cycle solo...and every evening we phoned each other...to also include our cycling adventures of the day.

Become strong on the bike yourself...it will carry you far as life moves ahead, changes and you will enjoy riding more with others who have different/better cycling competencies in group rides.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Had a nice ride this morning. Glad it's Spring and the roads are dry and the sun is shining. Good to be able to ride my bike.

[Running Mommy]

Didn't have time to read through all the threads, but there are saddle test programs out there.
WTB
Terry
Selle Italia
all have test saddle programs. You go into the shop, pick one out, take er home and try er out, and swap around until you find a prince in the sea of frogs.
Our shop currently has the WTB one, but as soon as the Terry Selle programs come back into stock, we will have them.
So see if you can find a shop that has one of the programs. I'm thinking Terry might work for you.
good luck!
Denise

[Bad JuJu]

I bet there are a few, even many of us in Georgia. If you posted a TE ride that could either be a leisurely ride with TE gals or breaks into groups. Your DH could try to keep up with faster TE gals (and their guys if they bring 'em.) :cool:

Ride with other experienced riders, you'll soon catch up with him. Also gives you a chance to really see how others set their bikes up. I've learned a lot here that way.
This is a great idea. But even if there are no TE riders near you, you could post a note at your LBS that you're looking for some other women to ride with occasionally. Or, since you're at Ft. Benning, is your DH in the army? If so, there must be some kind of spouse's club--maybe you could get one or two out of that group interested in riding with you.

Sure it's great riding with your guy, but it's also helpful--and fun--to get involved with other riding buddies, especially other women. They're out there--just may take some hunting to find them.:D

[Trek420]

Sure it's great riding with your guy, but it's also helpful--and fun--to get involved with other riding buddies, especially other women. They're out there--just may take some hunting to find them.:D

The one thing I dislike about cycling (besides that most events start too fracking early in the morning :mad:) is the whole matching thang of the sport layering into cultures of different speeds/distances.

I ride ___ mph and prefer 30 mile rides, s/he rides ___ mph and isn't warmed up till 40 miles, this one sprints so vertical s/he'll fall over backwards, that one hates climbing .... so none of us can ever ride together, right? Wrong. Though sometimes it's hard for even the most devoted supportive symbiotic gently shin kicking of partners and friends to ride together it can be done. :cool:

While there are a few couples on this board who ride each others pace I think most also ride alone and/or with other groups. Some TE'ers SO's :eek: don't even ride whether because they can't or don't want to. This isn't out of being any less close to the other, sometimes you just find good ride buddies who ride your pace.

One should always be able to find creative ways to share the sport and be supportive of one another. That may mean preparation for the ride, starting and ending together, the faster rider gets to ride the freewheel mixte while slower rider takes the road bike :p TE gal preps the bike while your guy preps the recovery meal, or even just talking about your latest epic ride and planning the next one.

I have few regrets in life but one is that I never got to ride with my cousin's fiance Kathy who died in a bike crash. The rides I do, too slow for them, the rides they did ... out of my league, Terrible Two, Davis Double ... stuff I can't even imagine. First time I rode with my cousin was her memorial.

My cousin and I have made a point to do some rides together since. Yeah he rides up and down and back up Old Tunnel Road in the time I do it once ... but I'm out there with him.

Life's short, find a way to ride together.

[Mr. Bloom]

Loving another person, whether a partner, parent, sibling, etc. means wanting to work to help both people be strong.

I've waited to weigh in. Some of the advice I see suggest seems to be more than "righteous push back" but rather "mean push back". I love what Triskeliongirl said here

I'm not one to speak about control in a relationship (I have my own demons on that...) and if your hubby is military...control is probably ingrained in his psyche. That's not going to change overnight.

I think push back offered in love makes a relationship stronger. One can be strong, decisive, and free without being mean...

[Zen]

Oven mitts, oven mitts, oven mitts.

[Trek420]

Like these? ;) :rolleyes:

[Zen]

Yes, please :D
Those are nice!

[Starfish]

I think push back offered in love makes a relationship stronger. One can be strong, decisive, and free without being mean...


He thinks I'm just being a picky B**** and basically I just don't want to ride with him. <snip> how can I express this to him and make him believe it?

Mr. Silver, I agree. And, of course, we have not heard from the husband, but the characterization above paints a mean picture, of a husband who calls his wife a b**** and who doesn't believe her when she says it hurts...and also expresses what sounds like manipulative conclusions about how she just doesn't want to ride with him. Now, that might be a mis-characterization. And, of course, just because one party is being mean-spirited, that doesn't mean it will help if the other party takes up that mean-spirit.

But, if a guy actually is saying she's a picky b**** because she doesn't want the saddle he picked out for her, and accuses her of not wanting to ride with him, discounting her physical pain (and her words describing that pain), putting the burden on her to convince him that she is being truthful...well, sorry, that p!sses me off, and puts me in a mean mood.

Should I have compassion for him...of course, and I actually do. Could it all be a misunderstanding...of course. But, if her description is accurate...it makes me feel mean. I've seen too much damage eventually done to women that started out with subtle controlling, done in manipulative ways to make the women feel they've been too sensitive.

[Zen]

Could it all be a misunderstanding...of course. But, if her description is accurate...it makes me feel mean. I've seen too much damage eventually done to women that started out with subtle controlling, done in manipulative ways to make the women feel they've been too sensitive.

I agree, Starfish. We can't really know for sure about this because you'd really have to be there but it doesn't sound good and being treated that way can lead to Major Bad Stuff for a woman who lacks confidence.
I hope we've given GG a start there. at least as far as cycling is concerned.

[OakLeaf]

I promised myself I'd sleep on this one, woke up even angrier than I was last night... but I see you two have beat me to it. Thanks :)

[SouthernBelle]

I've thought about this thread as well. It reminds me of a story a lady I know told me. Her husband, with the best intentions in the world, bought her a new car for her birthday. Think about how much time the average person spends in her car. But she had no say in what kind of car, what color, what extras, etc. And unfortunately, it wasn't what she would have chosen for herself. She grew to hate that car.

The OP is in the same position. Her husband went out and spent a lot of cash on something he thinks she should like. But he didn't consult her about what she would like. She didn't get to "test drive" her new vehicle. He doesn't understand why she doesn't really like what he spent so much money on with the best of intentions. She doesn't necessarily care for the color, the fit, whatever.

This past Christmas, my brother made an effort to buy me something cycling related. He got me a Camelbak. A good idea. But when my SIL asked me if I had one, I answered truthfully, 'yes'. He was disappointed. I exchanged it for a new helmet.

What we have here is a failure to communicate. When you are ploughing a ton of money into a gift for someone, why not take him/her with you or at least be sure what you are getting is something you are sure they want. Not what you think he/she should have.

[OakLeaf]

It's a little more than that, SB, though all those points are included.

He bought her something that causes her excruciating pain, called her a b**** for not enjoying it, and apparently has been "at it" with her for some time before she got up the nerve to post.

[Triskeliongirl]

Lets bring it back to the saddle problem. Maybe in her frustartion GG exagerated the relationship issues, maybe she didn't, but those points have been made.

When I first started riding seriously I developed chronic UTIs. My urologist wrote Terry Liberator Saddle on a prescription pad, and sent me to my LBS. In other words, he told me to try saddles with cut-outs. I started with a liberator, and was fine with it. Then I got a new bike that came with a butterfly, and was fine with that. But then I put it on another new bike and it stopped working and I realized even the butterfly which is fairly wide was not wide enough for my sit bones. When that happens your weight is borne by your soft tissues and not sit bones. In retrospect, I also know that my saddle height on the new bike was set a bit higher, which contributed to the problem. I bought a Brooks Finesse from Wallingford, with their generos return policy and love it. It doesn't have a cut-out, but because its wide enough to support my sit bones I don't need it.

My husband also rides skinny selle italia saddles, but he is not surprised they don't work for me, and would believe me if I said there was a problem. Also, if the seat tube angle on the bike he bought is steep (common on many smaller frames) you may also need a very laid back seatpost to get the saddle far back enough for good sitbone support.

BOTTOM LINE, mostly likely the saddle is supporting your soft tissues and not sit bones, and that is what is giving you pain. WHen that happens to your urethra, it will burn when you urinate and you can end up with a UTI. My labia were bleeding until I got my brooks finesse.

PLEASE REPORT BACK HOW YOU WORK THIS OUT. AND WELCOME!!!!

[Triskeliongirl]

One more thing. My husband is a fast racer type. There are no women in his peer group in our club that can stay with that group unless they allow her to (meaning they aren't going all out). I think you will find it very frustrating if your goal is to ride his pace. I am not as fast as my husband, but that doesn't mean that I don't love to ride and that its not a hugely important part of my (and our) life. For me, it keeps me physically healthy, mentally sound, and lets me do my bit for the environment. Mostly its a spiritual thing that keeps me strong in all aspects of my life.

SO, don't let the saddle problem discourage you. Its a great sport, so focus on first being able to ride pain free. Then find a peer group that will help you get stronger. Then you will be strong enough to go on rides with DH where he isn't going all out but you'll be able to ride fast enough that he'll still be able to enjoy it. Our you can go on cycling vacations together, and he can carry most of the luggage, like we do :).

[chicago]

sounds like you need to do two things:

1) tell your husband you don't like being called a b**** just because you don't want to ride
2) tell him to appreciate his wife for who she is... and not who he wants her to be :(

... and as for the saddle, honestly... if you were really into cycling (and that's perfectly okay that you're not!), you would have found one already that worked. I somehow think the saddle is not the real issue here :(

[SouthernBelle]

My story wasn't intended to be the answer to all her problems.

& my SO would only call me a ***** once.

[Trek420]

Yes, please :D
Those are nice!

I forgot to credit them. You can get your very own pair of cycling oven mitts as "Etsy.com" :cool:

And that's "Ms. B****" to you. :p

[mimitabby]

wow, i wonder if that poor gal has come back to read all these posts.
I am seeing a lot of wisdom here; but I wonder if they are ready to hear the truth.

[Trek420]

wow, i wonder if that poor gal has come back to read all these posts.
I am seeing a lot of wisdom here; but I wonder if they are ready to hear the truth.


ANY advice would be greatly appreciated as I'm sure he'll be reading them..:)

Jamie

Or her husband. :o

[Starfish]

... and as for the saddle, honestly... if you were really into cycling (and that's perfectly okay that you're not!), you would have found one already that worked.

Can't agree here. I love cycling, and have been at it for about 4-5 years now. I'm still dialing in just the right saddle.


SO, don't let the saddle problem discourage you. Its a great sport, so focus on first being able to ride pain free. Then find a peer group that will help you get stronger. Then you will be strong enough to go on rides with DH where he isn't going all out but you'll be able to ride fast enough that he'll still be able to enjoy it.

Great advice!

[OakLeaf]

... and as for the saddle, honestly... if you were really into cycling (and that's perfectly okay that you're not!), you would have found one already that worked.

Well that's not necessarily true. Her husband isn't the only person out there telling women that fit doesn't matter or that they're just small men, and that attitude isn't unique to bicycling.

On saddle fit in particular, a lot of people, male or female, just don't know any better. Back in the '80s and '90s I rode for years with open sores on my nether regions. I was really into cycling, but I had no idea that different saddles fit differently or that I was supposed to try them on. When I got my first-generation Terry saddle (cut-out in the frame but not the cover) I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. A couple of years ago when I went on the retreat that sparked my return to cycling, I asked some of the group leaders about my problems with chafing, and not a one of them (experienced female triathletes all) mentioned saddle fit as a potential issue; they just told me about various lubes they used. When I got my new bike last year, I knew I needed a cutout, but that was it. I had no idea about saddle width, nose width, etc., until I started reading this board.

One of the things GeorgiaGirl said is that she really enjoyed riding except for the chafing. I don't see any reason to take the rest of what she said at face value, and not that statement.

[tulip]

I think we scared her away. Hopefully she (they) read the posts.

GG, I hope you get the bike/saddle thing worked out. Please keep checking TE because we are all learning from each other all the time. I hope you can get your own sign-in, though, that's yours alone.

[Trek420]

Starfish: What I find happens is whenever you find the perfect saddle ... the mfr stops making it or changes the design. My "love at first sit" saddle is no longer made. My LBS found me a great new one yet assures me if I want the one I had before he has 3 stored in a secret climate controlled vault hidden far northern Finland. ;) Thanks Chris.

Triskeliongirl: I favor the policy that "slowest rider gets the best/lightest bike" that way both are happy. Either both have great bikes and faster rider gets a new commuter, cruiser or freewheel so she gets a workout in, or both have great bikes but slower rider gets the dream bike to help him keep up. :cool:


Well that's not necessarily true. Her husband isn't the only person out there telling women that fit doesn't matter or that they're just small men, and that attitude isn't unique to bicycling.

Sadly often that's the bike shop, which is why it's so important to find the right one.

It's a nice sunny day, a perfect day for a ride or to get ready for one. Hopefully GG you are out arranging a bike fit and trying out some new saddle choices.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I doubt either of them will ever be back here. Frankly, I don't blame them. Yikes.
What a feeding frenzy.

[SadieKate]

He thinks I'm just being a picky B**** and basically I just don't want to ride with him. We are at it again today. It's a beautiful day and I would love to go riding with him but I refuse to keep hurting myself. He keeps saying I ride with the same kind of saddle I gave you...YEA well it hurts me. I absolutely love my bike and really enjoy riding with him so how can I express this to him and make him believe it?
NOWHERE DOES SHE SAY HE CALLED HER A *****! GeorigaGirl says "he thinks . . . " This could be her interpretation of his words and thoughts. My husband thinks I'm a picky princess at times, but I could easily, in fun, have described to someone else his reaction using the same word, but over the internet the joke wouldn't be interpreted correctly. She's made very few posts so not a one of us knows her personality or her writing style. The few posts by Mr. GeorigaGirl were obviously well-intentioned and very polite. Other husbands/boyfriends have posted here using the woman's sign-in without you ripping into him. I vote we all layoff the relationship counseling without knowing a damn thing about her and her husband.

Just maybe, maybe, she'll come back and learn some valuable things about cycling and us about her.We may all be completely surprised. In the meantime, I'll keep an open mind and not jump to conclusions without more information.

[salsabike]

I doubt either of them will ever be back here. Frankly, I don't blame them. Yikes.


I vote we all layoff the relationship counseling without knowing a damn thing about her and her husband.

In the meantime, I'll keep an open mind and not jump to conclusions without more information.


Oof, I couldn't agree more.

[Starfish]

NOWHERE DOES SHE SAY HE CALLED HER A *****! GeorigaGirl says "he thinks . . . " This could be her interpretation of his words and thoughts.

SK, I know that I, for one, wrote about this as her characterization of events, not as though it was a direct quote of what he said.

But, she asks "How can I make him believe me?"

Well, she shouldn't have to do anything more than simply say, "I hurt" for him to believe her. Again, maybe he does believe her. All we have to go on is what she wrote. But, she asked us this question, so I think addressing it was in order.

GeorgiaGirl, I hope you do stick around on TE. As you can see, you will always get varied and frank feedback to your questions and opinions. Cycling is a wonderful sport, passtime and lifestyle, and the info on this forum is a wonderful support for that.

I for sure dislike a lot of what I read on TE, but it is not worth it to throw the baby out with the bathwater. There is too much to be gained here. Hope you decide the same. :)

[snapdragen]

I doubt either of them will ever be back here. Frankly, I don't blame them. Yikes.


I vote we all layoff the relationship counseling without knowing a damn thing about her and her husband.

Just maybe, maybe, she'll come back and learn some valuable things about cycling and us about her.We may all be completely surprised. In the meantime, I'll keep an open mind and not jump to conclusions without more information.


Oof, I couldn't agree more.

Adding my voice to the sentiment, thanks ladies for saying what I couldn't put into words.

[SadieKate]

GeorigaGirl (please note the spelling intentional or not) said:


Take it easy on him girls he's sensitive...:)

Thanks for all the advice and I will take it to heart and hopefully I'll be able to come back and tell you all about my great rides!!

At this point many, many people had given her some great pointers on finding a new saddle and some encouragement, support and ways to help hubby understand.

Then we progressed to discussions of their relationship rather just tools for communication. She not only did not ask for relationship counseling but her participation in the thread appears to have ground to a halt, even though she was on the forum early this morning.


GeorgiaGirl - does he let you have friends? Maybe you could take a friend to the LBS with you when you go. Being completely dependent on your DH for every aspect is perhaps not the best way to proceed, especially considering the differences in anatomy, interest, skill level, and motivation.

I've worked with far too many women in unbalanced domestic power situations. Please be aware that this much control over one person by the other member in the relationship is detrimental to both of you. Set out on your own two feet in regards to YOUR bicycle and YOUR riding. It will be good for you both.

Next we have someone declaring that he did call her a b**** not to mention the completely weird comment about her lack of finding a saddle being indicative of her true desire to cycle.:confused:

So many members grabbed on and were off and running presuming the worst without feedback or personal knowledge of GeorigaGirl herself.


sounds like you need to do two things:

1) tell your husband you don't like being called a b**** just because you don't want to ride
2) tell him to appreciate his wife for who she is... and not who he wants her to be :(

... and as for the saddle, honestly... if you were really into cycling (and that's perfectly okay that you're not!), you would have found one already that worked. I somehow think the saddle is not the real issue here :(

As far as hubby, he clearly identified that he was using her member log-in. He didn't hide anything about his identity. And we've let other men do that without comment.

How about we address her questions and not assume the worst of him?

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

How about we address her questions and not assume the worst of him?

I think her saddle problem has been thoroughly addressed. As to the rest, we've heard more than enough already.

[Trek420]

This gal's been a member of our delightful, supportive, warm, wacky, wise, witty, wonderful "we put the fun in dysfunctional" community since '04.

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showthread.php?t=1712

And to this date nobody even replied to her first post. 1,046 people viewed (probably in the last two days) but nobody welcomed her or offered cycling community. I'm not self promoting but I believe I'm the one person who suggested she organize a ride through this board.

How many of us remember our first posts here? I sure do :rolleyes: I was obviously new to this board but to discussion groups as well. I changed the subject :eek: hijacked a thread oh the horror :eek: got gently slapped for that "stick to the subject or start your own ^@*& thread" by senior members.

I'm still here obviously. Maybe I'm thicker skinned than most. Fact is we run people off.

How many of us remember our first group ride? The person who welcomed you, the rider who made sure you are ok. That's the club you stay with.

I think we can all vow and that's self included to treat each other better. Especially be kinder still to new members.

[sgtiger]

GeorigaGirl94 + Mr. GG,

I apologize if I came to the wrong conclusion. I'll go kick myself now.:o

~Sg

[crazycanuck]

Can we lock this thread?

[Trek420]

We had just started getting to apologies, but have stalled before getting to talking about food or chocolate :o

Options include:
let it just kinda fade out to the bottom of the pile.
anyone can ask an admin to lock*
the thread originator can up and delete the whole shebang. :cool:
set to your "ignore thread" list.

*by clicking on the white triangle on any post other than your own.

[Savannahgurl]

You self righteous women have proven my point. I watched this thread go from an innocent question with an attempt at humor from Georgiagirl evolve into a lynching of her husband (A soldier fighting for YOUR country). I don't get it.

You ladies make me sick.

[redrhodie]

You self righteous women have proven my point. I watched this thread go from an innocent question with an attempt at humor from Georgiagirl evolve into a lynching of her husband (A soldier fighting for YOUR country). I don't get it.

You ladies make me sick.

Oh, you're back. So nice to hear from you again! Been riding much? Putting in some miles, have you? Glad to see you haven't lost your focus. It's hard in the winter to keep it up ;)

[SouthernBelle]

I will continue to lurk occassionally, but this will be my one and only post

Her (?) previous post. ;)

[snapdragen]

I just read through this whole thing again. Let's try to keep it civil, ok? I really hate deleting threads.

[Savannahgurl]

Yeah, as a matter of fact I have ridden quite a bit. No winter problem here in Georgia. Thanks for askin'................

[Blueberry]

Yeah, as a matter of fact I have ridden quite a bit. No winter problem here in Georgia. Thanks for askin'................

Cool:D

/thread hijack/

Any recommended rides in your area? I saw there was a Hilton Head thread over in the regional section, but we'll be in Bluffton, SC in a couple of weeks for a wedding, and hoped you could point us in the right direction:)

/end hijack/

CA

[redrhodie]

Yeah, as a matter of fact I have ridden quite a bit. No winter problem here in Georgia. Thanks for askin'................

Ummm, yeah, that's Pipi in my avatar....but I'm the one on the right.

[snapdragen]

Ummm, yeah, that's Pipi in my avatar....but I'm the one on the right.

You're a small spider monkey? Wow, and I thought I was doing good as a two dimensional cartoon character punk.......

[Trek420]

On the internet who knows who you're talking to :rolleyes: I may be a squid :D

[VeloVT]

I am the walrus :D.

[sgtiger]

On the internet who knows who you're talking to :rolleyes: I may be a squid :D

I had calamari the other day. Oops! I hope they weren't relatives of yours.:p:D

Me BTW

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/image.php?u=4431&dateline=1189011749&type=profile

[Zen]

I am your Aunt Mabel. I play accordion for weddings, bar mitzvahs and at the Friday Night Fish Fry at the fire hall.

[Trek420]

If you read this thread backwards it says "Paul is dead" ;)


I had calamari the other day. Oops! I hope they weren't relatives of yours.:p:D

Nah, my relatives are a Duck and an Elephant.

[KnottedYet]

If you read this thread backwards it says "Paul is dead" ;)

There is a Peep diorama in this year's Washington Post Peep contest that says something to that effect... ;)

Now, where'd that link go?

[OakLeaf]

I don't know how to spell this. (http://www.flmnh.ufl.edu/natsci/herpetology/brittoncrocs/images/!amis10a.wav)

[Trek420]

Peeps here

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showthread.php?t=22084

[sgtiger]

Nah, my relatives are a Duck and an Elephant.

Wow and here I thought my family was diverse!

[Starfish]

I am your Aunt Mabel. I play accordion for weddings, bar mitzvahs and at the Friday Night Fish Fry at the fire hall.

Do you charge extra to bring the typing monkey? :p

[Trek420]

Do you charge extra to bring the typing monkey? :p

I thought the typing monkey is Aunt Mabel :confused:

[Starfish]

I thought the typing monkey is Aunt Mabel :confused:

Multiple personalities?

[Zen]

Have you ever seen them together?
http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb14/zencentury/typingmonkey-1-1.jpg
looks like my secret is out