A Tribute to My Dad

[Mr. Bloom]

Three hours ago, my dad died. As many of you know, we were ready to let go.

Today, the world lost one of its most sacrificial people. A giver's giver and a peacemaker's peacemaker. He was a navy base commander in his prime...and at the same time the most gentle person you could imagine.

I arrived at the hospital and knew it was time. I asked them to call the priest and Silver got my mom.

After administering the Last Rites, Father Joe said "have you given him permission to leave?"

With Silver and my Mom, I told him that it was time to go where he wouldn't be sick anymore. No more insulin, no more three shots a day (for 42 years), no more pain, no more discomfort.

"For these light and momentary challenges are creating for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal".

He passed quietly with us at his side.

I am sad and relieved. I know this is best, but I've not seen my mother so sad since her mother died in 1973.

I got a chance to tell my dad I loved him and kissed him goodbye tonight. Do not take the ability to do that to someone you love for granted.

Now, a new chapter begins...

[LBTC]

{{{{{{{{{{{{Mr. Silver and family}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Beautifully written, Mr. Thank you for sharing.

I'm sending lots of butterflies to surround all of you as you say your final goodbyes, and to stay with your father on this final journey of his.

Hugs,
~T~

[Tuckervill]

May his memory be for a blessing. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful tribute.

Karen

[wannaduacentury]

Three hours ago, my dad died. As many of you know, we were ready to let go.

Today, the world lost one of its most sacrificial people. A giver's giver and a peacemaker's peacemaker. He was a navy base commander in his prime...and at the same time the most gentle person you could imagine.

I arrived at the hospital and knew it was time. I asked them to call the priest and Silver got my mom.

After administering the Last Rites, Father Joe said "have you given him permission to leave?"

With Silver and my Mom, I told him that it was time to go where he wouldn't be sick anymore. No more insulin, no more three shots a day (for 42 years), no more pain, no more discomfort.

"For these light and momentary challenges are creating for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal".

He passed quietly with us at his side.

I am sad and relieved. I know this is best, but I've not seen my mother so sad since her mother died in 1973.

I got a chance to tell my dad I loved him and kissed him goodbye tonight. Do not take the ability to do that to someone you love for granted.

Now, a new chapter begins...

Many prayers to you {{{{Silvers}}}}. You're in my thoughts.
I lost my dad to cancer last May, so I know how you feel, he's in a better place. Jennifer

[Mr. SR500]

So sorry... I'm glad you were with him.

[makbike]

Mr. Silver, Silver and Silver Kids - My thoughts and prayers are with each of you during this difficult period. What a wonderful father, father-in-law and grandfather you had. His spirit lives on in each of you and in the memories you hold in you hearts.

[kelownagirl]

My thoughts are with you and your family tonight. Take care.

[crazycanuck]

Sorry to hear of your loss Mr Silver, Silver & Silver kids.

Take care

[snapdragen]

Blessings to the silver family.

[Wahine]

(((((((Silver Family))))))))))

The passing of a parent is a very difficult thing. I am so glad that you could be there with him, give him permission to leave and that he went peacefully. Blessings to you all.

[Popoki_Nui]

Our deepest condolences, and our thoughts are with you at this sad time.

Gentle journey, Mr Silver Sr.

~Sherry & family.

[BikeMomma]

....for posting something so personal, yet so much a part of every one of us, whether or not we've experienced the death of a parent.

My father also teeters on the brink in a Veteran's hospital in Maine....two years ago I went to see him for the first time in 23 years (I'm 37). The thought of losing him brings tears, especially as he will likely die alone, since I'm in California. For most of my life, he was not there for me, yet it pains me to think that I can't be there for him. But he remains my dad, no matter what our history.

Your post comes at a timely moment for another reason. Also yesterday, a beloved coworker died of a heart attack. Every single one of us who has worked alongside him agrees he was one awesome guy -- so giving, funny, and vibrant, full of life. We are all in shock, as we thought he was healthy. He was talking of retiring in about 18 months -- still young. His daughter was my 10-year-old's fourth grade teacher last year, and in parent/teacher conferences, we often found ourselves talking about her dad rather than my son's progress in her class! Her dad had the greatest, infectious laugh you could ever hear, and would always pause to ask how I was doing, no matter how much in a hurry he was. He'll be missed for years to come, I'm sure -- one of those people you work with that you'll never forget, you know?

Mr. Silver, thank you for your insight, thank you for your honesty, and I wish your family well. Don't forget to take small moments here and there as you need to in order to remember him. Hug your mom -- you're so right that we need to treasure what we have while we have it, for tomorrow, it may be gone.

All the best,
BikeMomma (Kim)

[Velobambina]

So sorry to hear of your loss. It sounds like your dad had a peaceful, dignified end. My thoughts & prayers are w/you.

[rocknrollgirl]

Hugs to all the Silver Family. I will keep you in my thoughts. Your dad sounds like a wonderful man Mr. Silver.

[Blueberry]

Mr. Silver-

What a beautiful and loving tribute to your father. You truly did all that you could for him, including letting go.

Hugs to you all.

CA

[bambu101]

My condolences to you and your famliy. That was a beautiful tribute to your dad.

[7rider]

What Wahine said.
Condolences to the Silver family.
It is a sad time, and I'm glad you were there for him. My own dad passed away peacefully 4 years ago with his family at his side.
It's hard to lose that rock...that base...but as you said: a new chapter begins with the strength of family that he instilled in you.

[OakLeaf]

(((((((Silver family)))))))

Though it may not seem so now, I hope your grief will be lightened by the closure you gave him and yourself.

[cosc]

Mr. Silver and family, so sorry you lost your Dad. May you be able to gain strength from all the good attributes he passed on to you and yours.

[SouthernBelle]

I'm so, so sorry to hear of your loss.

[Tiffany]

My thoughts and prayers go out to you, Silver family.

I am lucky that I haven't had to experience the loss of a parent yet. However, when it happens, I hope I am as fortunate as you to get the chance to say goodbye. May Silver Sr. live in your happiest memories until you meet again.

[indysteel]

Dear Silver Family,

I'm so sorry about your father and grandfather. I'm glad, however, that you were able to make peace with his passing and that you were with him to say your goodbyes. I hope you and your family find solace for your grief. I'll be praying for and thinking of you in the days and weeks to come.

Hugs,

Kate

[sbctwin]

{{{{{Mr. Silver & Family}}}}
May his Light shine on in you, forever and ever...

[sundial]

I'm so very sorry for the passing of your father. There has never been a generation like his that made so many sacrifices to protect the freedoms of this nation.

His faith and compassion will be your legacy.

[tulip]

My thoughts are with you and your family.

[vmax]

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I also lost my father to diabetes several years ago and, at times, it seems like yesterday.

For me, the best way to cope is to share memories, tell stories about my Father with my siblings, keep his spirit alive within us . . . and I'm sure that you will find your way through this period of grieving in your own way.

Condolences to you and your family,

- Vivian, MN

[mimitabby]

I'm sorry to hear that you lost your father. He suffers no more.

[NoNo]

I'm so sorry for your loss. What a touching tribute.

[firenze11]

What a beautiful tribute Mr.Silver. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[Flybye]

"For these light and momentary challenges are creating for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal".

Isaiah 40:18-31
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

John 6:40
For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.

Revelation 21:4
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

Our valleys may be filled with foes and tears; but we can lift our eyes to the hills to see God and the angels, heaven's spectators, who support us according to God's infinite wisdom as they prepare our welcome home.
Billy Graham

Your sorrow itself shall be turned into joy. Not the sorrow to be taken away, and joy to be put in its place, but the very sorrow which now grieves you shall be turned into joy. God not only takes away the bitterness and gives sweetness in its place, but turns the bitterness into sweetness itself.
Charles Haddon Spurgeon

I hope these verses and quotes can help you, Mrs., and your mother through the grieving process. Let your emotions flow - the mourning process isn't meant to be dammed up and held inside. Your show of grief will be a comfort to others and a witness to your love for such a significant man in your life. What an honor that you had such a man as your father to pass on such a legacy to the generations that he leaves behind. What a blessing for you to be able to follow in his footsteps and leave that legacy to your family.


I got a chance to tell my dad I loved him and kissed him goodbye tonight. Do not take the ability to do that to someone you love for granted.

Those words are so profound. We often let such petty things seem so significant that we don't show others our love. Love is something that we are granted to give to others. We get to chose whether or not to give from our hearts, regardless of how we are received or treated by others. I am so happy that you got the chance to tell him good-bye.

I am sending you a e-covered dish of comfort food. I will pray for all of you. I wish that I could be there in person to do more.

[SheFly]

My condolences to the entire Silver family. Thanks for sharing this part of your father's journey.

SheFly

[GLC1968]

Mr Silver, Silver and your entire family - my thoughts are with you. May your father's peace bring some to you as well.

[Brandi]

((((((((((Silver family))))))))))
It is so nice to hear you talk so fondly of him. Not everyone talks that way about their parents. And to be able to say good bye and I love you is such a blessing that not all of us get.
I am sorry for your loss but am glad he is free from he's failing human body now. My thoughts are with you in your time of grief.

[jesvetmed]

To all the Silvers... just want to add my condolences this morning. I went through this years ago, also, with both parents, but my father first. There isn't a much harder thing to experience. Looking back, I realize there came a time several months down the road where I could look back on him, and remember the way he WAS when he was in his prime -- the navy chief, the strong father (feared by all the boys who came by the house;)), and the softy on the inside that he could be. It took so long to rid my mind of the person in the hospital bed that really wasn't him. It sounds to me reading your post that you may already be part way there -- that is my hope for you and your family. That your memories are soon all joyful and make you smile, not sad. My thoughts are with you all.
Jes

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

My thoughts and wishes are with you. You did good.

[invsblwmn]

Sending all the positive healing energies that I can muster. I am so sorry for your pain and loss. It is obvious that his legacy lives on through you and Silver. The best tribute we can ever give to those we respect and love is to live in a way that would make them proud. You both have done that in your support and generousity to so many. I have felt the power of your gifts and am most grateful. Take the time you need to remember, to feel, to be. We are here for you.

[Triskeliongirl]

Warm wishes to the Silver family. Glad that you were all able to be at his side. It will take time to heal, but at least you all have each other.

[short cut sally]

My condolences to you and your family. I believe it was an honor to be at his side when he passed. I think anyone that is crossing over would want that, I know I would. My parents are almost 80 and will have to face that someday. I hope that I can be at their side when their time comes. Thinking of you and your family.

[roadie gal]

My condolences and prayers to the whole Silver family. This is such a hard time. My thoughts are with you.

[Running Mommy]

Sorry I am coming in here so late...
Add another big hug for the Silver family from the running family.
Once again you have such a great perspective on life- and dying. He really is in a better place.
You are all in my prayers.
Hugs
Denise :(

[Starfish]

The Lord's blessings on you, Silvers. As you know, I lost my Dad last year, and getting it all said before he went continues to be a huge blessing with dividends of peace.

[li10up]

Silver Family,
I just read your post. I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that God grants you peace at this time. My prayers are with you all.

[bmccasland]

((((((((((Silver family)))))))))))

This is what I miss for being off line for just a bit. I'm so sorry to hear your loss. I know the passing has be lingering, and it is probably a blessing (I mean no disrespect). But it is still difficult. You are in my thoughts.

[luv'nAustin]

((((((Mr. Silver and family))))))

Your family must have been very good to you as they guided you through your early years. It shows in this tribute that you posted for your father and in the sensitivity that you constantly show towards all of us here on this board.

Your Mother, Silver, and silver children are lucky to have you with them as you all go through this difficult time together in life. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

[redrhodie]

That was a lovely post you wrote about you father, Mr. I'm so sorry for your loss. Every day will get a little easier. Ride a lot. It helps.

[Crankin]

May his memory be a blessing.

Robyn

[twin]

Bless your family at this time and I am glad you could be with him.

[Mr. Bloom]

Thanks for all the kind thoughts and comments.

While we're sad, things are all good in Indiana.;)

[nonsmoker3]

I am so sorry for your loss. Take care and God bless.

[emily_in_nc]

Mr. Silver,

My deepest sympathies in the loss of your beloved father. I am envious, too, that you got to say goodbye and that your father passed so peacefully. I feel robbed since my own father died suddenly in a car accident. The grieving process is never easy, but a death like your father's leaves the survivors with much more peace and acceptance in their hearts.

I hope that peace will stay with you and your fond memories of your dad will bring you smiles and a warm heart from here on out.

Emily

[Xrayted]

((((Mr. Silver and family))))

[jeannierides]

Mr. Silver, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Tri Girl]

I'm sorry your father is not with you anymore, and for all the sorrow and grieving that you will do (especially your mom). I'm at peace for him, as I know he was in much pain and needed to feel healthy and whole again on the other side. I'm glad he got to experience the sacrament of last rites- as his journey here on Earth came to an end. My prayers are with you and your family.

[BikeDutchess]

I'm very sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is such a difficult thing. I hope good memories and the support of family and friends will sustain you. My thoughts will be with you.

[massbikebabe]

I am so very sorry for your loss Mr. Silver;

In April of 2006 six months after my stroke I lost my best friend and football buddy. We both loved to watch the games together. It was weird because he had been planning a trip home to Ireland for years but four college tuitions and six grankids kept him from going for the longest time. Finally he has his chance. On the day he and Mom were leaving I brought them a camera case and went over to wish them well. I kissed Mom and then I kissed my Dad and said "don't get in trouble over there, you have to be home for Molly's graduation." He kissed me and said I love you Katie, and then kissed me again and said give this to Molly when she graduates because I am going home to die. The following Monday I was folding clothes when the phone rang and I heard my husband say "I better tell her"...sure enough he was gone. I miss him everyday but am glad he did not suffer. It takes time but now when I think of him I laugh, sometimes cry but mostly laugh...he would want it that way!

I know he is up there waiting for me with a cold beer and a good football game!

karen

[Mr. Bloom]

Karen, what a story! Wow!

Last Sunday, Silver and I were visiting him at the nursing home and he just started rolling his chair out the door. "Dad, where are you going?" "Home", he says. "Dad, it's too cold outside." "I'm ready to leave", he says.

At the time, I halfway felt that "home" was somewhere else and that he knew it was time. I'm now sure of it.

It's funny: At his bedside, I tried to talk about memories to him. In the days since he died, we naturally remember so many more things. Though, at his bedside in the shock of the situation, I struggled to find things in my memory...

One vivid memory that I reminded him of at his bedside was one I have from about 10 years ago when we were out walking with my parents while the kids rode their bikes...and

my dad said "I want to ride a bike".

I paused and said something like "Dad, you're 70 years old...the pavement's hard...are you sure you want to do that?"

He said, "I WANT to ride your bike"

"OK, here it is"

It wasn't graceful, it was almost scary, but by golly, he rode that bike!

We weren't into cycling then...but for all these years, I've remembered that...

Funeral in 8 hrs and 21 minutes...

[Starfish]

Funeral in 8 hrs and 21 minutes...

Hi Mr. I'll be thinking about you, Silver and your family in 8 hours, and in the waiting between now and then.

[Flybye]

Like Starfish said, I'll be thinking about you today, too.

Celebrate your fathers life today!

I am such a daddy's girl, it brings tears to my eyes to think that the day we send him home isn't that far away.

I love your memory of your father on your bike. I had a great visual in mind while reading your account!

My brother in law who suffers with Schizophrenia and has a VERY flat affect hopped on my bike (I had only had it about a month at the time - full carbon) one day and went for a ride. It was all I could do not to run after him and yell nooooooooooooooo, my BIKE! It wasn't a graceful ride, either, but surely one I will remember!

[spokewench]

So Sorry Mr. Silver. I am thinking about you and your family. It is just so hard

[Hub]

I am sorry for your loss, yet impressed by your personal grace and dignity. It's hard to remember to put out loved one's needs first when we're afraid of being lonesome. You did an admirable job of providing comfort to your father.

[solobiker]

So sorry for your loss. As you know I work in a nursing home and have seen many sad situations where someone passes completly alone. Their family has never visited them or if they do it is only for short periods of time. I am happy for both you, your family and your father that you remained in his life and were able to continue on with memories and a family bond. I am sorry if that sounds inappropriate, sometimes I can't write what I mean. I am truely sorry for your loss.

[ShubieGA]

I hope your memories and love bolster you when sadness hits. It's never easy to say goodbye, but I know your Dad was lucky to have his family with him to "see him home". I am sure there are many things to celebrate about his life, including his loving family. When my uncle recently passed, we chose to celebrate the best he brought to life, and were amazed how many he touched in so many ways. Positive thoughts being sent to Indiana...

[Mr. Bloom]

Once again, thanks for all the thoughts and support.

The funeral went well. The priest did a magnificent job. The Sister's of St. Benedict (http://www.thedome.org) were there in full support after providing consistent visitation and spiritual support to my parents for years, the Honor Guard and 21 Gun Salute were touching...the fact that they gave me the shell casings was unexpected and touching....what do you do with shell casings??????

In death, my father was honored in a way that his humility would not allow him to accept in life.

My mother is doing well too.

Life is good in Indiana (although we're expecting snow tomorrow!)

[sundial]

Your family, and especially your mother, are in my thoughts and prayers.

I remember one story you shared not long ago about your father. You had cycled over to see him and as you were pushing him in his wheelchair, he got a real kick out of your cycling gear. I like to remember people in the happier moments.

[Jo-n-NY]

Mr Silver & Silver...my thoughts are with you and your family. Your tribute was beautifully written. You have quite a way & gift with words.

~ JoAnn