Riding by herself

[Melalvai]

Our lives would be simplified mightily if our 12 yr old could bike 3 miles home from school by herself sometimes. If she cuts across the park she avoids the only scary bit. The rest is bike lanes and quiet roads. Here's what I've done or will do to prepare her:

She's familiar with the route to school, but I'll ride home with her a few times so she's familiar with the route in the opposite direction.

I've gotten extra CO2 cartridge, spare tube, tire levers in her seat pack. I'll teach her how to change the tube, using up a CO2 cartridge so she knows how to use it.

I'll show her how to put back on a slipped chain.

I'll get ID in her seat pack, with my contact info.

I'll tell her if anything besides a flat or slipped chain happens, walk the bike home if she can, lock it up and walk herself home, or just leave it off the side of the road and walk herself home. It would be a long walk but this is next-to-worst-case scenario and probably won't happen.

I'll recommend she wear my reflective orange road vest but I won't insist. There are some things that are too much to ask. I know she'll wear her helmet.

I don't want to give her a cell phone, and I don't want to be a fear-mongerer about strangers. She's not going to be murdered or kidnapped.

Any other thoughts?

[kelownagirl]

Sounds like you've set up all the right things for her. Not much else you can do but try it.

Sad that you live in a place that is so dangerous. I can let my 10 year ride his bike that far without a second thought....

[KnottedYet]

How about a Road ID?
I bought SKnot one when he was that age. Of course, he promptly lost it....:rolleyes:

[liberty]

Way back when (maybe 17 years ago?) I used to ride to school. It was probably about 3 miles. We were very poor, and dad needed the car for work. I remember mom and dad taking me on the route and pointing out the "safe houses" where I could go if I got scared. Don't remember what the program was called, but designated safe houses had a child sticker on the front window so kids could know they could go there... We rode the route a few times. I didn't have any bike repair supplies or a cell phone. But it was fun. :)

Might be a good idea to give her some options of what she can do if she starts to feel unsafe at any given point of the ride. Even though I never had to run to a safe house, I knew where it was in case I needed it. More than likely she won't need the options, but it wouldn't hurt.

[VeloVT]

Why no cell phone? It seems like it would be a good idea.

I used mine to call my bf for a ride home when we had a sudden freezing rain storm last week :D.

[Trek420]

I remember mom and dad taking me on the route and pointing out the "safe houses" where I could go if I got scared. Don't remember what the program was called, but designated safe houses had a child sticker on the front window so kids could know they could go there... We rode the route a few times.

Good idea!

Even if there is not a specific program know your neighbors, a friendly store is good. Know the route, know what all the options are at every point.

Waaaay long ago, about '72 or so my parents finally let me ride into town to see my best friend. It was about 4 hilly and then remote miles.

On the way back I was obviously being followed. I remember like it was yesterday, a blue VW slowed to pass me, a few minutes later he came back the other direction, slowed to pass me again etc. I was already nervous and then he tossed a pamphlet out his window in front of me. It was porn. :mad:

We knew most of our neighbors, I immediately turned into the first driveway, told an adult that I needed to call my folks and the cops.

And of course I'm still riding and I continued to ride. It's a shame we have to even think about all this but you can't be too safe. It would be great if there were kids/parents who can ride together like a bike bus :) More fun too.

But applause for all the parents here encouraging kids to ride, what a wonderful gift.

[invsblwmn]

I used to ride my bike to school when we lived in Miami, Florida at 12 and 13 years old. It was a dangerous area where no one went outside after dark except for the criminals. The only danger I had was when I wasn't paying attention and ran into a bus stop sign on my ten speed. The keys to safety were being confident and aware (especially of bus stop signs!). Bicycles are a first independence for children. At five, when we lived outside Houston, Texas, I could ride a mile to visit my best friend. Cycling is freedom, what a gift to give your child.

[SouthernBelle]

Get her a can of Halt! and one of those holders that clip onto her bars that come from Nashbar. Better doublecheck with the school that it will be OK to have on school grounds. Tell them it's for dogs.

Then show her how it works and that she shouldn't be afraid to use it on a person should it ever become necessary.

HTH,

[Zen]

Get her a TracFone or something along those lines. You can buy a card with only thirty minutes on it or you can buy some twenty dollar TracFones that come with twenty minutes already on them.

[breezy]

Instead of the orange vest, let her pick out some bright colored jersey or jacket that she will be proud to wear. She'll think being seen is cool not dorky.

[OakLeaf]

Get her a TracFone or something along those lines. You can buy a card with only thirty minutes on it or you can buy some twenty dollar TracFones that come with twenty minutes already on them.

I agree. Or at least one of those panic buttons that were discussed recently. Or you may be able to add a handset to your existing minute plan, and restrict hers to a limited number of phone numbers incoming and outgoing. Honestly, if I had to choose between my phone and my helmet, I'm not sure which one I'd rather be without. It's a vital safety tool IMO.

[SouthernBelle]

You know, I bet you can get walkie talkies that would cover that range. Esp if it's flat.

[Jolt]

Instead of the orange vest, let her pick out some bright colored jersey or jacket that she will be proud to wear. She'll think being seen is cool not dorky.

That's a really good idea--high visibility is important, so she needs something to make herself easy to see that she will actually WEAR.

[DirtDiva]

I think you've done all that needs to be done (although I like the idea of taking her to choose something bright to wear). She's twelve and ought to be more than sensible and able enough to cope with a 5km ride between school and home. Surely this a much less scary thought than the fact she'll be driving in four years time... ;)

[Pedal Wench]

I would insist that she carry a cellphone for emergencies. Most of us couldn't imagine going on a ride alone without one. Please reconsider it for her to use only if absolutely necessary. Accidents happen, and I can't imagine a reason that she shouldn't be able to call you or 911 for help.

[Aggie_Ama]

I am only 26 and my how times have changed! When I was growing up in suburban Austin, I road the 2 miles to school. It was a liberating feeling, even for an elementary schooler. I started at 9 years old and continued until I finished elementary. No helmet, never worried about flats, never worried about the chain. Weirdly, I have so much trouble getting a chain on now but I could do it when I had my old 10 speed!

I think a cell phone is a good bet. I am personally annoyed as all get out with these tweens texting and talking on their cells but I see the use. A Tracphone or something similar would be great.

[DirtDiva]

What's a Tracphone?

[Zen]

TracFone (http://tracfone.com/) here

[Melalvai]

Thanks for all the feedback.

I like having her pick out a bright jersey or jacket she'd be willing to wear. That's a good idea.

I forgot to mention, she has taken BikePro.

I'm against a cell phone for her partly because of cost but mostly because it irritates me to see her classmates chatting on their cell phones all the time.

[anneimall]

Hi Melalvai.

May I ask, how does your daughter feel about all this? Is she excited about the new responsibility and independence, or is she fearful? If she is happy about it, I think you've done a great job of preparing her (although, I would give her the cellphone myself ... especially if you have any fear for her safety).

Do you really live in a scary place, or are you just a concerned mom?

I also think you should take her shopping to pick out something cool to wear. shopping for something herself will help make riding home a positive experience.

[mupedalpusher]

Melalvai, I bet your daughter will do fine. I agree there are some dicey areas out there but if she's staying off the section between Bethel and Nifong she should be fine. Where will she cross Providence? Hopefully she will remember everything you and her very good cycling instructors taught her.
As far as the cell phone, I probably would get her one. We've wished that we had one on occasion for our 11 year old although we are opposed to her having one all the time. We've about decided to get a "go-phone" that we keep and only give to her when she needs it. She won't be allowed to carry it all the time like 99% of her friends! I haven't quite convinced myself that it's not a waste of money but on the other hand the peace of mind will be worth it.

[mupedalpusher]

I looked yesterday and the trac-phones or go-phones and they aren't that much cheaper than adding our daughter to our plan. But, it has no contract so if it's abused we just drop it and it will allow us to make it an "emergency" only line, and there is no chance of all our minutes getting used. We did this with our son when he was an early teen. He mowed lawns in the summer so I wanted him to have it for safety and to call me for a ride but no other use. He was very good with his, he only used it like we asked. I really expected it to be an issue but I think he knew we were serious so he actually obeyed that rule. Nearly every kid in my daughters 5th grade class has a phone...makes me ill sometimes.
We are still tossing around this whole go-phone thing but in your case it would be a good idea for her to have.

[KathiCville]

The TracFone might do the trick. I have one that I use mainly for texting my BF through the day with little odds and ends that wouldn't be worth a phone call. As long as it's used mostly for texting or for phone emergencies, it's pretty economical. And it doesn't offer any games that kids would find interesting for more than about 2 minutes, LOL!....If you get her something like a TracFone, she could send you a quick text message (e.g. "On my way") just as she puts foot to pedal. That way you'll know she's in transit.

I can't remember if you mentioned adding a horn or other noise-maker to the bike. If not, it might be worth a few extra bucks.

Also, if she likes lights, think about adding Tireflies to her valve stems. (I've seen them at Target and WalMart.) Or there's a gizmo I saw recently at Target made by Schwinn that attaches to spokes---forms designs or words as the tire spins---easy to turn on and off. Would add another level of safety if she's riding on a gloomy or dark day..........The Road ID folks also sell Supernova Fireflies in green, blue and red that can be clipped on to a saddle bag or worn on a wrist band. Turn on and off with a simple twist. Very bright. To my BF's amusement, I have one in every color! Check them out at www.roadid.com.

[alpinerabbit]

I would advise against the pepper spray (not that the conversation has insisted on it). The usual things speak against it.

Also, if the bike breaks down she can always walk - it's only 3 miles.

[tulip]

Kudos for doing this. I won't bore you with another "when I was 12 story." (Actually when I was 12 my family moved to the country and I had to be driven everywhere after years of freedom in the city with public transit and my bike).

This will contribute to her independence, self-sufficiency, and responsibility. It is good.

[Pedal Wench]

Most cell phones will give you a list of calls made. You'll know immediately if she's using it for anything besides calling you. If you trust her on her own with a bike, you have to be able to trust her to follow the rules you set for her phone usage.

[DirtDiva]

TracFone (http://tracfone.com/) here
Ah, so it's just a prepaid/pay-as-you-go company. Cheers.

[Tuckervill]

I don't know if it is still true, but even old phones that aren't connected would work for calling 911--back in the day.

I got my kids phones for *my* convenience, not their's. However, I have boys who are not known for their gabbiness. My mid son did abuse his, but it was mostly texting that got him--fortunately he had a job and he paid that $300 bill. That was several years ago, when the plans weren't as good, too. Texting was new.

My youngest is not allowed to give his cell number out to anyone I don't know personally. He does have a friend from Memphis who calls regularly, but they're both on unlimited plans so it doesn't matter.

The conversation should be about social graces (talking to someone on the phone while other friends are right there in your presence, talking too loudly, multiple calls to the same person in a short time span), rather than the phone itself, I think. All those are things I've seen teenagers do to each other. They might not find it rude, but it won't fly as they get older.

Good luck--it's a hard decision to allow more freedom when you feel uncomfortable in some way.

Karen

[KSH]

Well, I'm a 35 year old woman and I won't ride my bike without a cell phone, even if I am riding with a group. It's always nice to know that I need to call for help (I can't ride back to the start, my tire is unfixable, etc.), that I can do that without flagging down a stranger for help.

Otherwise, she sounds good to go!

[singletrackmind]

Way back when (maybe 17 years ago?) I used to ride to school. It was probably about 3 miles. We were very poor, and dad needed the car for work. I remember mom and dad taking me on the route and pointing out the "safe houses" where I could go if I got scared. Don't remember what the program was called, but designated safe houses had a child sticker on the front window so kids could know they could go there... We rode the route a few times. I didn't have any bike repair supplies or a cell phone. But it was fun. :)

Might be a good idea to give her some options of what she can do if she starts to feel unsafe at any given point of the ride. Even though I never had to run to a safe house, I knew where it was in case I needed it. More than likely she won't need the options, but it wouldn't hurt.

In St. Louis county they're called Block Homes. The program is a little rigamarole to get into but not too bad, if you're around about the time kids are going to or coming from school look into it by calling the elementary school in your district. We have an 8 1/2 x 11 card in a front window to let kids know we're a safe home. I did it even without school-age children in my district. The more the merrier. :):)

I'd heard that thing about 911 calls on out of service phones too, but don't know if it's still any good either.

[Blueberry]

Watch out for analog only phones (i.e. really old). They either already have or are going to soon shut off the networks. Otherwise, yes you can call 911 from a non-active phone.

CA

[OakLeaf]

I'm not sure about decommissioned phones, but a locked phone will call 911. (Although something tells me that if you're hesitating to get a phone for her, you probably don't have your old decommissioned phones lying around the house.)

However, I can think of lots of scenarios where she'd want to call you and not 911. Just for example, she has a minor crash, no broken bones but she's shook up, or the bike's broken beyond what she can fix. Or she lands on her head and she knows that she shouldn't ride one more inch in a helmet that's suffered an impact. Or even an especially upsetting day in school. I think one of the things we need to instill in kids is that when we're in traffic, our attention needs to be 100% on the road, and part of that is acknowledging that once in a while there are times that we're too distraught to be on the road at all.

Plus, even if a 911 call were appropriate, what a scary (and embarrassing) thing for a kid to have to call 911 and have strangers come and get you and know that your parents don't even know about it - and then have to explain to the EMTs or the cops why you didn't call your parents.

As someone else pointed out, you can and should monitor her call log and punish her if she's abusing the phone. You don't even have to physically look at the phone to do it, you can do it on the phone company's website.

Plus, so many people (particularly older people) assume that the only reason to carry a phone is in case they have an emergency. Well, what if you have an emergency while she's on her way home from school? Wouldn't you want to be able to tell her (or in the worst case, have someone else tell her) what's going on? I used to get furious at DH when he'd forget to carry his phone - not that I ever did have an emergency, but what if I had? I get angry at my own parents for carrying a phone but keeping it powered off.

Okay, done ranting. I know, I lived more than half of my life before there were such things as cell phones, and I survived okay, but I also rode a whole lot of miles without a helmet too. Two things I can't imagine ever doing again.

[indigoiis]

My daughter had a tracfone from ages 12-14 and never abused it; I was very happy to be able to call her in a pinch if a.) I was not able to pick her up on time and b.) for her to call me when her walking home plans changed. We bought her the minimal minutes and she used less than that. Just this past June, her Dad got her a cell phone plan. She is quite conservative with that as well. It has been a very nice tool for monitoring her whereabouts when she is walking between school and my office, or when she is with her Dad and I need a quick answer to a schedule question or just want to say hi.

Frankly, I don't get on my bike without my phone... maybe I'm overly cautious but the world is not like it used to be.

[Meg McKilty]

Get her a can of Halt! and one of those holders that clip onto her bars that come from Nashbar. Better doublecheck with the school that it will be OK to have on school grounds. Tell them it's for dogs.

Then show her how it works and that she shouldn't be afraid to use it on a person should it ever become necessary.

HTH,

If SB hadn't said it, I was going to. Halt! has saved us many a time from scary situations- albeit never humans, but if need be it could.