Snapping Gum

[li10up]

Ok, I know that my username is li10up but for 3 days now a co-worker has been snapping/popping her gum like crazy. I finally went to the guys next door and asked if they'd noticed it. They said yes and I asked if it was starting to bother them and they said yes. After another 30 minutes of it I went to her and told her I was going to have to start calling her Betty. Betty is someone we all have remarked about popping her gum in our ears as we talk to her over the phone. She got what I was saying and said that she had gotten some really good gum...good for popping. I asked her when her pack was going to run out...I tried saying it in as pleasant and joking manner as possible while still trying to make my point. She said she'd try to stop but she has been going at it all day!!! Two minutes later she was popping away again! Then when I said something to her later about something else she seemed cool. I'm not close to anyone in the office but she is probably the person I am closest too. Why can't I just keep my mouth shut?!? Was I wrong to say something?

[lph]

It's a bit late for this maybe, but depending on your (and her) personality, over-the-top "anger", with a grin, works.

Like "AAGH! I'm going nuts in here! Will you STOP that? If you don't stop that popping soon, I swear I'm going to STRANGLE you!!"

But this only works if you're on top of it and can laugh at it, in a sincere way.

This is what my next-door office mate does when I play music he doesn't like or talk too loudly on the phone :rolleyes:

[Duck on Wheels]

Just heard an incredibly loud vacuum cleaner running outside my hotel door here. Then one cleaner calls out to another, "Betty!" What is it with Betties and noise?

[teigyr]

You are a LOT like me, I can't keep my mouth shut and there are things that drive me bonkers.

I wonder if she is dieting, quitting smoking, or has something else going on?

It's always better to say something instead of letting it build up. I agree that joking is always best (ie "don't make me throw this stapler at you!") and if that fails, then you have to be direct and serious. Maybe someone else could talk to her with you? I usually have other people do my dirty work because I have trouble being calm and logical. I tend to take stuff personally, like they are doing what they're doing specifically to annoy me. Sounds narcissistic :o

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Snapping gum is like chewing food with your mouth open.
I'd want to kill her.
You may have to talk to the boss....that kind of distracting irritating noise can be really bad for work productivity. It's like people who hum aimlessly.

Give her some mints to keep her mouth busy instead. Hmmm....she probably start sucking on them really loudly though, smacking her lips.... :mad: How about a pacifier?

[Tuckervill]

I would say:

"I must not have been clear when I told you earlier how much the gum popping is bothering me. I'm sure you're not doing it on purpose, but I am having a hard time concentrating with the gum popping going on. Would you please try not to pop the gum?"

Then, the next time, "I can hear your gum. Would you please stop?"

Then, the next time, "Gum. Please?"

After that, I would be sure she was doing it on purpose and I would have to have another talk with her, and then let her know I'd have to go to the boss.

Is she talking on the phone while she's doing this? More reason to go to your boss.

Karen

[Deanna]

I'm not sure if this is a very professional way to handle it, but if you have the option of dialing up her voice mail without the phone ringing, you could then hold up your handset to record her gum popping. Maybe when she hears how annoying it really is she'll stop.

[sbctwin]

I am not one for confrontation, but that would drive me up a wall:( . I can't stand it when people do disgusting:mad: things like that...it is like someone dragging their fingernails on a chalk board. I must be super sensitive to stuff like that. I have had to ask a few cube mates to either get a set of headphones when listening to music or offer them an extra set I keep at my desk. I really do run away from confrontation, but there are times that something must be said. Sometimes, though, I can't bring myself to say anything when something annoys me and so I 'make a scene':D at my desk by rattling and banging things. Very passive aggressive:p

[northstar]

Ummm, I had a coworker at whom I'd throw chocolate over the cube wall.

Has anyone else said anything to her?

If it keeps up, can you request to move your desk away from her? It would drive me NUTS!!!

[mtbdarby]

After I read this I spit my gum out:D

I always snap my gum when I have it, it's almost an unconscience nervous thing I do like pick at my fingernails. But my jaws get tired quick and I spit it out. If she's like me and you've only mentioned it once she's probably forgetting it because she's concentrating on work and doing it unconsciencously. I'd try Tuckerville's suggestion so she thinks of it.

Then throw a cushball/stressball at her if she forgets:p Good luck!

[li10up]

Thanks for the suggestions. The intraoffice dynamics here are very strained. Half of the people are at war with at least one other person. People here are quite the backstabbers/gossipers. That's why I've always kept my distance...too much drama. But that just seems to have put me in the catagory of "outsider". I'm one of only 3 supervisors and I think I have the reputation of being the hard@$$. That's why I don't want to strain the one decent relationship I have. Oh well...chalk one more up for me in the b*tch column. It's kind of funny though....I'm not "friends" with anyone yet I have a good "working" relationship with all of them. Ugh!

[lauraelmore1033]

Gum snapping is a guilty pleasure of mine which I only indulge in when I am alone--but sometimes I forget to stop when I am not alone. Even so, it drives me crazy when other people do it and I do not hesitate to spit out the gum when someone calls attention to it. I think you would have to be totally clueless or a little hostile to continue snapping away when someone has said something.

[li10up]

Here we go again. Another office mate has been popping her gum for the last couple of weeks too. It's like they alternate days. I just went to the other one and said, "I don't want to be rude but I can hear your gum popping all the way down the hall. Is there any way you can stop?" She told me that she has quit smoking (that was like a year ago) and is trying to lose weight so she basically needs to pop her gum - it relaxes her. She told me to just close her door. I can still hear her though!

What is the world coming to when we don't even have common courtesy anymore? My parents taught me to not snap my gum when I was 4!

What are you supposed to do when you politely ask someone to stop doing something that is impolite but they don't care and keep on doing it?

I don't think the suggestions given here previously will work. I told the boss that I said something to the both of them but he just got a panicked look on his face - like he was afraid I was going to ask him to do something about it - he doesn't like confrontation at all.

I know others don't like it but everyone is afraid to say anything.

I'm starting to hate this place!

[Velobambina]

LOL--I hate loud/popping gum chewers. Audible breathers also can be annoying.

A couple years ago, I didn't have a private office and a nasty-girl's cube abutted mine. This was the 30 year old who wore low-rider slacks with no undies and would bend over sex-kitten style. It was not pretty. She hated other white females--saw us all as her "competition" for male attention (in my opinion, the minority ladies were prettier than the group of white women in that office but she didn't see them as a threat to her being the Alpha). I guess that's besides the point but you get where I'm going here.

Anyway, she used to talk on the phone incessantly (personal calls--really loud voice to get attention) and would play Sarah McLaughlin "I Believe" over and over again. I no longer can stand Sarah's music. It was that bad. Here's my solution: I brought in a WHITE NOISE machine and played it. I didn't have to listen to her insipid phone conversations or her endless "I Believe" loop. It was like an electric Zen machine. It didn't interfere w/the work place, either.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I rode the train into NYC this weekend for the first time in a couple of years.
I commented to DH on all the people chewing gum. Thankfully, they were not popping or snapping their gum. BUT....half of them were chewing it with their mouths open all the time. HOW GROSS IS THAT!???! :eek: :eek:

Even the women were chewing gum with their mouths open, like a bunch of cows working on their cud. Do they know how much it makes them look like morons??

GROSS.

[michelem]

It appears as though she is not going to change, so you are going to have to change instead. Sucks, huh? How about ear plugs or noise-cancelling headphones? I'd certainly see about having my company purchase or reimburse me for these items, as they are necessary for you to be able to perform your job.

Maybe something like this (one of my co-workers at my previous office used these and loved them)? http://www.bose.com/controller?event=VIEW_STATIC_PAGE_EVENT&url=/learning/featured_stories/feat_noisy.jsp&ck=0

Oh, look, they even have designer earplugs (tee hee!): http://earplugs.ecrater.com/

Good luck to you. I feel for you.

[mimitabby]

I probably chew gum too loudly but i don't do it at work. I usually do it in the car alone because DH doesn't like it either.

signed
loud gum chewers anonymous member.

ps when i was a teenager, my stepmother could POP her gum astonishingly loud. And I could never learn to do it. :(

[Starfish]

I am personally not a fan of the humor method...I would much rather have someone be direct with me. I don't equate communication with confrontation.

But, if there is a lot of drama there, and people tend to have the low self images that often go with that, what about a little self-deprecating remark to help diffuse her defensiveness?

"You know, I realize I might be a little anal to be this bothered by your gum...but for whatever reason, I am, and I would be really grateful if you would chew just a little more quietly, as a favor to me?"

I happen to have extremely sensitive hearing, and I am :o anal enough that I let stuff get to me. So, I have both an iPod and a "natural sounds" machine in my office. If I just reset my mental focus, and then listen to something I like, normally the sounds of others recede (out of my zone-of-irritation, if not actually out of my earshot).

Good luck!!

[michelem]

Lisa S.H. -

Want to hear something even worse? When riding BART back from the US Half Marathon, a woman wearing an "I Don't Suffer From Insanity, I Enjoy Every Minute of It" t-shirt and her boyfriend/husband/whatever got on the train. They sat down across the aisle from us, and suddenly I began to hear this DISGUSTING slurping noise. I made the mistake of looking over at them - he was SUCKING ON HER TOES!!! GAG!!! :eek:

SO GROSS!!! :eek: :eek: :eek:

[northstar]

Lisa S.H. -

Want to hear something even worse? When riding BART back from the US Half Marathon, a woman wearing an "I Don't Suffer From Insanity, I Enjoy Every Minute of It" t-shirt and her boyfriend/husband/whatever got on the train. They sat down across the aisle from us, and suddenly I began to hear this DISGUSTING slurping noise. I made the mistake of looking over at them - he was SUCKING ON HER TOES!!! GAG!!! :eek:

SO GROSS!!! :eek: :eek: :eek:

(gagging while reading this...)

[li10up]

I guess the thing is I don't feel like I should have to change my behavior; I'm not the one being rude. I have to answer the phone frequently so I don't want to have to mess with earphones. I'm the type that can't even play the radio quietly in my own office - it distracts me. The white noise thing might work but then everyone who comes into my office will think me crazy. I could close the door but that seems rude to me, and stuffy, and I don't have any windows in my office - plus I just don't want to have to close my door. I also don't want my staff to feel like I'm shutting them out.

It just blows my mind that when politely asked to quit something that society in general deems rude, the person just doesn't care and will not stop...their wants over the rest of others. A woman in her mid 40s with no manners.

This is the workplace for Pete's sake - all I'm asking for is a little common courtesy. I don't want to do anything rude to make a point or try to annoy her - that would just be stooping to her level. Uggggh.

What do you think about sending an IM to her AND the boss asking her to quit? Or is that just asking for trouble and putting the boss in a bad spot?

[mimitabby]

I think you will then be seen as over reacting. Better to talk to the boss, I think than the double email method. That way, the boss can give you insight and feedback on how to deal with her.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Mimi's right. Plus- he's the BOSS, right? Doesn't that mean he is supposed to handle tricky situations and employee relations as part of his job?? He gets paid to keep things running smoothly and efficiently in the work place. You've already done your part by asking her/them politely to stop, which both gum snapping women seem to have completely ignored. Let the gum snappers now have to tell the BOSS that they'll just keep doing as they please. :cool:

[Dianyla]

They sat down across the aisle from us, and suddenly I began to hear this DISGUSTING slurping noise. I made the mistake of looking over at them - he was SUCKING ON HER TOES!!! GAG!!! :eek:

SO GROSS!!! :eek: :eek: :eek:
Oh, yeah... I believe that's called shrimping.

*shrug* Whatever floats their shrimpboats, I guess. :rolleyes:

[li10up]

Mimi's right. Plus- he's the BOSS, right? Doesn't that mean he is supposed to handle tricky situations and employee relations as part of his job?? He gets paid to keep things running smoothly and efficiently in the work place. You've already done your part by asking her/them politely to stop, which both gum snapping women seem to have completely ignored. Let the gum snappers now have to tell the BOSS that they'll just keep doing as they please. :cool:

He and I have talked about it. His office is right next to hers. He says it annoys him but yet HE hasn't said anything and I doubt he will. I'm at the other end of the hall and it's loud...but it's really loud in his office. I've told him it is driving me nuts but he hasn't taken the hint and said anything. I can't ask him to say something be cause it sounds so petty...but it truly is driving me nuts!

[mimitabby]

well, here's another perspective. you've given that cow incredible power over YOUR wellbeing. I realize that because you can't control it, it bugs you more, but really, is it so worse than the sound of 20 starlings eating the figs out of my fig tree? (That drives ME nuts)

If she really was a cow, making cow noises, would it really bother you?

[Kitsune06]

funny you should ask, Mimi. A while ago, back in Eugene, I was on the bus and not feeling so great with a gum snapping chick behind me. There was no one else around, so I let loose with a (pretty good for me) belch. She looks at me with just awful disgust (obviously feeling as violated as I had). I said "Well, if there was going to be chewing, I figured we might as well hear something like a cow belching up cud, too."

The ex was mortified, but he still admired the chutzpa it took to do that. :D ahhh... gum chawing.

edit:
Toe. Sucking. On. BART. *hupcaughhccchhhhGGHHHHHCCCH*

When you're out of the shower and all, it's a total delight, but... ON. THE. BART.


EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

"See, kids? That's how you get hoof and mouth disease (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foot-and-mouth_disease)!"

[teigyr]

Oh, yeah... I believe that's called shrimping.

*shrug* Whatever floats their shrimpboats, I guess. :rolleyes:

There's a NAME for it??? :eek:

Interesting. That's relatively icky too.

Re the gum thing, I think you probably can't change her behavior and therefore you have to modify your feelings. You can't be going crazy over it. White noise is definitely an option.

Of course the childish part of me would want to record her and then loudly play it sometime when she isn't paying attention. Maybe she doesn't realize how annoying it is?

[Starfish]

Just to weigh in...I really don't understand characterizing either gum snapping (however annoying) or toe sucking (despite that I probably wouldn't do it in public), as actually gross or disgusting. :confused:

I mean, someone chewing gum...I just can't muster up disgust over that (even if I might find the noise annoying). And, if the toes were relatively clean-ish, I mean, who cares?

But then, when I'm at the gym and practicing my breathing control techniques and really using my diaphragm to expel air, I suppose there is someone in the gym who finds my breathing to be disgusting :rolleyes: ...I have read threads about that topic here on TE.

We sure are all different. :)

[li10up]

well, here's another perspective. you've given that cow incredible power over YOUR wellbeing. I realize that because you can't control it, it bugs you more, but really, is it so worse than the sound of 20 starlings eating the figs out of my fig tree? (That drives ME nuts)

If she really was a cow, making cow noises, would it really bother you?

In polite cow society making cow noises while chewing is perfectly socially acceptable behavior. I doubt there was ever a mama cow who instructed her offspring to chew their cud quietly. In other words, I think humans should treat one another with a bit more respect than the animal kingdom in general. If she really was a cow making cow noises I would grab her by the halter and lead her outside where she could make all the cow noises she wants.

We do, or at least we did at some point, have something called manners. She is of my generation so our values should be similar I would think.

I've come to the conclusion that I've made my objections known and if she chooses to continue then her actions are telling about her as a person.

[Pedal Wench]

How about an anonymous note on her desk. "The noise from your gum-chewing is quite disruptive to the work environment, and we would all be more productive and happy if this behavior would stop. Immediately.

Signed: A Concerned Coworker and an friend :) "

Yes, put the smiley in there.

[fastdogs]

If you do the note, you might even be able to get signatures of others in the office who are bothered by it (some people won't say anything on their own, but might be part of a group).
I'm with the people who say record her and play it back for her. Especially if she realizes it bothers people and still does it anyway. Play it back loud where she can't get away from it.
I hate gum noises too, and open-mouthed-cow-like gum chewing. But if I were doing something that really bothered an office mate, I'd sure like to know about it so I could stop, or be more aware of it if it was something I couldn't stop.
vickie

[michelem]

In particular, it was the LOUD slurping noises I found disgusting. Keep in mind, BART is loud in and of itself - to be able to hear the slurping noises over and above the train noises (I'm surprised people who commute by BART every day do not go deaf from the train noises) . . . In my opinion (and, yes, I do understand we are all different and have different opinions), some things just should NOT be done in public places - such as toe sucking! :eek:


Just to weigh in...I really don't understand characterizing either gum snapping (however annoying) or toe sucking (despite that I probably wouldn't do it in public), as actually gross or disgusting. :confused: We sure are all different. :)

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Making loud open-mouthed noises while chewing gum is no different than chewing food with your mouth open. People should keep their mouths closed when eating and when chewing gum or when burping, etc. It's just the polite and considerate thing to do in public.
I am appalled at the multitudes of attractive intelligent young people I see these days in their teens and twenties -all eating food in restaurants with their mouths hanging wide open, displaying the food to the world as it slowly disintegrates, making gooey sticky noises. They often talk to others while doing this as well, exhibiting their amazing ability to multi-task.
It's just unbelievable to me.

[mimitabby]

disintegrates, making gooey sticky noises.

It's just unbelievable to me.

:D :D :D :D :D Sorry, you are cracking me up! :cool: :p :cool:

[li10up]

How about an anonymous note on her desk. "The noise from your gum-chewing is quite disruptive to the work environment, and we would all be more productive and happy if this behavior would stop. Immediately.

Signed: A Concerned Coworker and an friend :) "

Yes, put the smiley in there.

Heck, if the direct approach didn't work I doubt leaving a note would do any good. This office is bizarre...half won't talk to the other half. I refuse to take sides so I keep mostly to my self.

When my boss got promoted to the Dept. Head I had his diploma framed with a very nice mat. Cost me about $200. But it was a gift and I wanted to do it. He was the one that hired me. About a year ago someone supposedly made a complaint against him (no it wasn't me who complained). He took down the diploma and it has been sitting on his floor since then. He also removed the marble name plate we got him for his desk when he was promoted. Sometimes I feel like I'm working with a bunch of 4th graders. If you think the boss is bad the others are 10 times worse.

Lisa, will you come to TX and straighten these people out?!?

[mimitabby]

may I ask what kind of business you are in?
I cannot imagine buying my boss a gift beyond the price of a candy bar and he's a very nice man
I cannot imagine people "Not speaking"
on the other hand, where i work, there are 7 men to every woman. A lot of
the cat fight mentality just does not exist here.

[Possegal]

when i was a kid my mum's best friend snapped her gum and i thought it was the coolest thing. i asked her to teach me and she refused. she told me she hated that she did it but she sort of couldn't chew gum and not do it, it wasn't a conscious thing she was doing. so the only way to not do it was to not chew gum, which she didn't do while working since she was a bell telephone operator and kinda couldn't do that and work. :) i think the coworker kinda can't chew gum and not snap it, it is sort of reflexive to her. therefore, the gum needs to stay at home.

the noise would bother me a lot too. then again i'm sitting in my office with my door shut to the rest of the folks 99.9% of the day. and 2 days a week i'm at home working where my cat has yet to develop any annoying habit like gum snapping.

wish i had an answer for you, i'd be just as bothered i've got to say.

[li10up]

may I ask what kind of business you are in?
I cannot imagine buying my boss a gift beyond the price of a candy bar and he's a very nice man
I cannot imagine people "Not speaking"
on the other hand, where i work, there are 7 men to every woman. A lot of
the cat fight mentality just does not exist here.

I'm in the I.T. field...county government. She has been here for 5 years and has never popped her gum before. Maybe she's trying to make a statment of some sort. Although, there was no popping at all today. When my boss hired me it really increased my income. I was very appreciative. Plus in three years I was promoted up two positions. I am now in year seven and am basically the 2nd in line. I have been promoted over those who have been here longer than me. I'm sure that has caused some ill feelings. But I can't help that. So, he and I have, or at least had, a good working relationship until he became suspicious of everyone in the office. It is slowly improving back to what it once was....but the atmosphere in this office really stinks. I refuse to play all the games that are going on here.

[mimitabby]

wow. That sounds great! I am sorry about all the political nonsense though.