question for cancer survivors

[Kano]

(well, of course it's for the survivors -- those who didn't won't answer!)

I'm asking on this forum cuz mom's not here. She does lurk around on other forums she knows I'm on, so, since her thing is "but we're old, we don't buy green bananas" I am looking for some hints!

Just diagnosed, Mom's not sure what to expect yet, so not planning too far ahead isn't a bad idea, but for my purposes, advance time is good! She's got a very rare cancer, will probably be treated with both radiation and chemo once she's past the surgery. So, winter in Minnesota is probably about the worst time to be hairless, eh?

I knit -- can make her hats, but I'm wondering about fibers. Is it a good idea to stick to cottons and synthetics? I love working with and wearing wools, but even if she's not now, could wool become an issue for her? I thought perhaps a couple of pair of fun socks too, and of course, some stuff for Dad! (they may get coordinating santa-type hats, you never know!)

So, I was searching online last night for free hat patterns -- I have a LOT now. Today I MUST buy some more circs in more sizes. Interesting coping strategy for a daughter living halfway across the country, eh?

Karen in Boise

[Blueberry]

Karen-

Hugs to you and Mom (and I think it's a perfectly normal coping strategy).

From my family member experience, the heads get very sensitive when they lose hair from chemo. So, think SOFT. Cashmere or cashmere blend, some sort of microfiber, a very soft cotton blend. I also wonder if alpaca would be nice. I think a little luxury couldn't hurt:) Socks would be nice. I would also think about making a hood/scarf combo that goes a little further down her neck to protect from drafts.

Take care and good luck to you both!

CA

[KnottedYet]

Good strong thoughts for you and your mom!

Coping strategies are good! Gotta love 'em.

I second the "soft soft soft". "Lion" brand makes a very soft and fluffy artificial yarn, very smooth. Silk, there are some nice silk yarns. Angora, cashmere, fake stuff, it's all good! Knit with big looser lofty stitches. (big honkin' needles, like size 10 or more!) Loose large ribs, double layer or double strand, think fluffy!

Also, variety! Lots of patterns, lots of different yarns. Don't forget polar fleece pillbox hats. You can make very cute pillbox hats with polar fleece, with maybe an applique or two to make it exciting. (sew the band part with the seams on the outside, so they don't irritate. cover the exposed band seams with appliques)

Look for crazy print bandanas. Make a few crazy print polarfleece bandanas by binding off the edges of big squares from bolts.

I didn't have to have chemo or radiation, just surgery a couple times. A friend of mine had the full barrage, and she lost all her hair. She had the best collection of hats, and I rarely saw her wear the same one twice.

BTW: bandanas can be worn under hats for extra warmth or itch protection. "Hav-A-Hank" 100% cotton bandanas are the softest, I think.

[margo49]

Voice of experience talking here
Yeah, soft and smooth.
I personally found headscarfs the way to go . Because you can cover your ears more and the back of the neck. Then you look ultra-religious/ spiritually advanced when it combines with the steroid glow. A bandana is too small and in a way accentuates your baldy hair.
The other thing to remember is that she may also lose her eyebrows so some cosmetic advice on that might be needed. (I didn't and have no idea about cosmetics in general).
Do NOT go for "funny" or "cute" I had a friend did that for me and it was just so awful. You feel bad enough without drawing attention to your head-wear with something funky and outrageous (and this from me who is funky and outrageous IRL)
Hope it all works out for your Mum.
Can you tell us a little about her and give us a name; for those of us who are spiritually a bit less sophisticated and not yet got our Black Belt who find it easier if we can put an actual name in our prayers

[annie]

So, winter in Minnesota is probably about the worst time to be hairless, eh?
Karen in Boise


Well, there is NO good time but at least during the winter, lot of other people will be wearing hats, too. Hair or no hair.

Find a nice soft yarn and knit her a hat of the colors that favor her the best. She will love you for it and probably get many, many compliments.

Annie

[indigoiis]

I'm biased because I am an alpaca breeder, but alpaca fiber is one of the softest out there. It is hypoallergenic, has very little to no guard hair (so it is never itchy) and it comes in about 20 different natural shades.

I don't have any yarn on hand, otherwise I'd send some to you, but you can get alpaca at your local yarn store. It may be more expensive than other yarns, but viva la difference... it really is worth it.

I don't have personal experience with losing hair to chemo, but I have a very close friend who has, and who loves her alpaca hat and scarf.

[Tuckervill]

I had a friend who used the opportunity of being bald to try wigs of all different colors, when she was well enough to tolerate them. She also wore the wigs with variations of hats, like a ball cap and a pony tail.

Just something to consider. I hope it all works out okay for your mom.

Karen

[Torrilin]

Janet Szabo's Chemo Toque (http://bigskyknitting.com/ChemoToque.html) seems to get rave reviews. Knitters who are chemo survivors all seem to insist on non natural fibers for chemo hats, even if they're ordinarily wool weenies of the most rabid sort. Some cottons also seem to be ok.

I've never had cancer, so I can't speak from experience. There are a lot of knitters who have survived cancer, so I listen to them :).

[Brandi]

I have a friend who has next to nothing eyebrows and discovered last year a wonderful tool from Origins. It is and eyebrow pencil and this neat applicator. It does wonders for her and looks very natural. here is the link to "fill in the blanks" eyebrow pencil. I highly recommend it! http://www.origins.com/templates/products/sp_shaded.tmpl?CATEGORY_ID=CATEGORY5719&PRODUCT_ID=PROD4400
I have a friend who's mom is going through the same thing right now. But her's is breast cancer. She just had not 4 years ago ovarian cancer as well (poor thing) and to top it off her dad just had he's bladder removed because he had cancer not 5 months ago. This poor family is just getting hit left and right!
Thank you for the idea of making her a hat. She had wigs from the last time but gave them to someone who needed them after she was done.
I wish you and your family a speedy recovery from this and lot's of love your way!

[margo49]

She also wore the wigs with variations of hats, like a ball cap and a pony tail.

Karen

Yeah, I did this too.
The hospital required us to wear wigs (ie when we were there for treatment) and a cap made it look less wiggy.

[Kano]

First, thanks to everyone for their good wishes!



Voice of experience talking here
Yeah, soft and smooth.
I personally found headscarfs the way to go . Because you can cover your ears more and the back of the neck. Then you look ultra-religious/ spiritually advanced when it combines with the steroid glow. A bandana is too small and in a way accentuates your baldy hair.

Thank you for this suggestion, Margo! Mom will love silk scarves too! Though, in Minnesota, where it's below freezing much of the time, and there are long stretches of below zero fahrenheit weather during the next six months, they may not be warm enough. That won't stop me from making a few, though, should she need them!



Do NOT go for "funny" or "cute" I had a friend did that for me and it was just so awful. You feel bad enough without drawing attention to your head-wear with something funky and outrageous (and this from me who is funky and outrageous IRL)

Good point! There's really nothing funny or cute about cancer. I'll keep that in mind while still working on "cheerful" to help lift both her spirits AND my dad's!

QUOTE=margo49;247856]
Hope it all works out for your Mum.
Can you tell us a little about her and give us a name; for those of us who are spiritually a bit less sophisticated and not yet got our Black Belt who find it easier if we can put an actual name in our prayers[/QUOTE]

We hope so too! For you -- Mom is Irene Leguil, lives in a beautiful small town in Southeastern Minnesota. She's 76, has this rare thing called "pleomorphic sarcoma" in her left leg, down in her calf area. Surgery that "needs" to be done "asap" is being delayed because the Mayo Clinic "doesn't know where to put her" -- beaureaucrats! Amputation is a possibility, I understand, but that's going to put quite a crimp in her twice daily walks, so I'm hoping for her that they don't have to go that far!

Karen in Boise

[Kano]

I'm biased because I am an alpaca breeder, but alpaca fiber is one of the softest out there. It is hypoallergenic, has very little to no guard hair (so it is never itchy) and it comes in about 20 different natural shades.

I don't have any yarn on hand, otherwise I'd send some to you, but you can get alpaca at your local yarn store. It may be more expensive than other yarns, but viva la difference... it really is worth it.

I don't have personal experience with losing hair to chemo, but I have a very close friend who has, and who loves her alpaca hat and scarf.

Thank you for the offer! I do have a lovely source of alpaca yarn in the shop upstairs from where I work, and I LOVE to work with it! Mary carries many weights, textures, and colors, natural and dyed. I'll have an unlimited source!

I didn't know about guard hairs, and didn't know it's hypoallergenic either. Those are good things to know for my daughter who claims to be allergic to yarns of all natural types too: I can tell her she can't be allergic to alpaca!

Karen in Boise

[Kano]

Janet Szabo's Chemo Toque (http://bigskyknitting.com/ChemoToque.html) seems to get rave reviews. Knitters who are chemo survivors all seem to insist on non natural fibers for chemo hats, even if they're ordinarily wool weenies of the most rabid sort. Some cottons also seem to be ok.

I've never had cancer, so I can't speak from experience. There are a lot of knitters who have survived cancer, so I listen to them :).

I found a very similar one in my crazed night of searching the web for free hat patterns -- I think I like this version better, Torrilin, Thank you!!! The Elann yarn web site had some neat ones in their free patterns collection that I like a lot too -- a couple that included the "down the back of the neck" suggestion that CA mentioned. Then there were the great sweater patterns. I've got one of those - a shrug - nearly finished already. I'm delighted by that: it will be great for sitting around in bed or with her feet up once she's home again!

I've noticed that fiber choices all seem to be synthetic or cotton too, and have been wondering if there's a real reason for that -- maybe it's washability? -- and that's why I thought I'd check with you ladies!

Karen in Boise

[Kano]

Good strong thoughts for you and your mom!

Coping strategies are good! Gotta love 'em.

Also, variety! Lots of patterns, lots of different yarns. Don't forget polar fleece pillbox hats. You can make very cute pillbox hats with polar fleece, with maybe an applique or two to make it exciting. (sew the band part with the seams on the outside, so they don't irritate. cover the exposed band seams with appliques) .


Thanks, Knotted! -- yes, anything to save my sanity and keep food out of my mouth these days!

Polar fleece hats -- good thinking! With machine embroidery! I LOVE an excuse to embellish fabric! Heck, so does mom -- HER coping strategy? She's making new pants with loose, roomy legs, and they're embroidered too! The last picture she sent was of a pantleg with dragonflies on it. I wonder if she realizes she's also sent a picture that included her wearing them too!

We had a bit of a giggle the other day -- with the pencil pushers at the Mayo Clinic not knowing how to deal with her case, I suggested she throw them another monkey wrench: have them deal with her cataracts while they've got her under!

Karen in Boise

[margo49]

Thank you for this suggestion, Margo! Mom will love silk scarves too! Though, in Minnesota, where it's below freezing much of the time, and there are long stretches of below zero fahrenheit weather during the next six months, they may not be warm enough. That won't stop me from making a few, though, should she need them!

karen in Boise

You can wear "layers " on your head too eg silk scarf plus hood of coat or jacket.
You can also do really tricky things with shawls (look at some of the "modest clothing" or "head-covering" websites.)
Capes, wraps, shawls and poncho's are good because sometimes you are too tired to fight with sleeves.
Btw, I was really cold when I was undergoing chemo so perhaps you might be warned in advance.
All the best...

[aly]

Sorry to hear about your mom's cancer. Mine passed away a little over two years ago from ovarian. I bought my mom loads of hats and scarves (I don't knit), but in the end she found one she liked and stuck with it. We did have some very hearty laughs at the wig store (and trust me, laughs were needed). Some of the wigs are hilarious. In the end, I think she ended up wearing the wig we bought one time.

My mom wasn't a particularly vain person, but losing her hair was really tough. It was pretty much guaranteed with the chemo she was on. She avoided washing her hair for ages because she was dreading the moment you see in all the tv movies where the hair comes out. Finally, after it got realy nasty and started coming out a little bit, she had me chop it off as short as I could. It made the transition a little easier for her.

Personally, after my mom was diagnosed, I found the message boards on the American Cancer Society's page to be an amazing aource of information. There are boards regarding every sort of cancer and boards specifically for families. It was a great source of info and support, and it was nice to know that there are many inspiring stories out there.

Hugs to you and your mom.