Discouraged Newb

[GeoCam]

I have been lurking about here for quite a while - I LOVE this place!!

My biking "story" has evolved over the last few months. Where I am now is I finally got a road bike that fits my 5' 0" self (though "tweaking" continues). It is old (but kind of cool). I have updated the shifters, and it is more than adequate for right now. I have gotten some bike shorts and even some shoes, though I haven't yet bought the clipless pedals.

I had been riding my Giant Sedona comfort bike on the park bike path for a while, going anywhere from 3 to 8 miles at a time. I wasn't happy with that and thought what I really needed was a road bike - I wanted to go faster and be free of the twisting and turning and congestion of people, dogs, etc. on the path. My first time out with the road bike, I rode some rolling hills and was only able to go about 5 miles - it was hot and windy too! I thought if I could just ride where it was flat, I could rack up some miles and work up to the hills. So, I figured out a place that I could drive to and then ride on a flatter road. I did that yesterday morning and rode 17 miles, and all the way back was into the wind. Distance-wise, I know I am doing ok for an out of shape 48yo.

What I'm feeling discouraged about is that I want SO much to fall in love with riding, but I'm just not feelin' the love!! I do feel pretty good when I get home. My kids tell me they are proud of me, and I feel a sense of accomplishment, but I am not getting the 'thrill of the ride' part. And that makes it harder to get back out there, and not going back out there makes me feel guilty for spending the money I have spent.

I keep thinking if I buy or do or adjust or replace just one more thing, it's all going to come together. But that hasn't happened, and I read of other women on here who catch the fever while riding a 40 lb. walmart bike in jean shorts!!

So I guess I want to know this: Is there anyone else out there who didn't fall in love with riding immediately? Is there still a chance it could happen? Is there anything I can do to increase the chances of it happening for me?

[mimitabby]

I can't really answer that for you. You've just started out, and you're learning your bike, you're working through some pain issues?, you don't know where to ride, you don't have any riding buddies..

Why did you get a bike? does it feel good to have the wind in your hair as you cruise along almost silently?

If all you've done so far is fight with headwinds and horrible heat, it probably isn't any fun.

I don't like headwinds and i don't like to get too hot. THose are things that you will grow "into" maybe a little bit.

For example, a headwind doesn't upset me too much if i know i'm turning in 5 miles and then it's not going to be a headwind anymore.

What do you like about riding?
why ARE you riding?

I'm 55 and started riding seriously about 3 years ago.
What do I like?
I like how my legs look.
I like how I feel after riding 30 miles.
I like noticing how dusty my car's been getting because i ride
my bike to work more than I drive my car.
I like going to stores near my house on my bike.

I have ridden about 1800 miles this year so far.

[sundial]

Geo, I remember how I hated stuff about riding when I first started. For one, I didn't have the right bike to fit me, and you would be surprised how that can really ruin the fun if you don't have the correct bike fit. :(

I hated my bike--it was toooo small. :(

I hated headwinds and cursed them on the open roads.

I hated dogs that came out to chase me.

I hated that I was always riding solo and that no one was interested in riding.

Now I don't mind the wind as much. I have a bike that is dialed in and ready to go, I have fun little jerseys to wear that give me a boost ( I just ordered a Speed Queen today from TE :D ) and I found new places to ride that I'm excited about exploring. I also have developed friendships with fellow cyclists to keep me motivated to ride harder and further.

So many factors can come into play that will affect your ride--and mood. Have you considered getting a good fitting at a local bike shop to see what bikes are appropriate for your size? What about a comfie saddle for your bike? Shoes?

We all have our stories to share of the early cycling years and how we loathed so many things that we don't pay heed to now. Don't give up now--you may be on the verge of a "Aha!" moment. :)

[GeoCam]

Mimi - I have dealt with plenty of wind and heat, that's for sure. The heat index was 105 when I got off work today. Wow, 1800 miles!! That is so awesome. I wish my situation would allow me to ride to work - I think having a destination is better for my motivation than just a ride with no plan. I started riding for several reasons. Primarily, I would like to improve my fitness, but also I thought I was going to enjoy it!!

Sundial, thanks for telling me that you used to hate stuff about riding. I think this bike fits me pretty well and is actually the first bike I have ever ridden that even came close. I do plan to have a professional fitting done (as I did with my comfort bike), but am going to wait until I get some new pedals. I could use a more comfortable saddle and a bit shorter stem as well. Money is pretty tight, so I have had to space things out a bit. Maybe I really do have to get all these things just right before my "Aha!" moment can happen.

[boy in a kilt]

I started riding when I was 14. At the time I was just a freaky fat kid on a bike. I dont' even remember why I got the idea that it would be a good idea to ride my bike all over the Portland (OR) metro area. After a while, it just became part of what I am.

Riding a bike has given me hypothermia twice, a couple of broken ribs, a spiral fracture in my left leg and a lot of time to wonder about why I ride.

But, I've also had a lot of time for introspection. I've ridden up and down several mountain passes screaming like a hyperactive adrenaline junkie. I've raced motorcycles through the streets of Nice and I've had a chance to just slow down and see the world at my own pace.

I hope it's also given me a fighting chance at the diabetes and aortic aneurisms that have killed or nearly killed a few men in my family.

Don't try to love riding bikes. It won't work. The bike is just a means of getting from one point to another. Try savoring the bike ride and all the things you see and experience while you ride.

And read Josie Dew.

[Di bear]

lol - ok, I'm a mountain biker. I fell madly in love after two weeks. Maybe you should try that instead?

This last spring, I took up road biking and I rarely ride by myself. I ride with a very supportive group that has taught me a lot. Cycling is very social where I live. Suddenly, I like road riding. I used to hate it! You have to get involved with other people!

Now, mountain biking, that is one thing I like doing by myself. Don't get me wrong, I do plenty of group rides, and sometimes find myself searching for the time to get a ride in by myself, but it is so mentally satisfying that it's a blast to do without a group. :)

Good luck!

[cosc]

Next time before you ride check out the wind direction and speed. I am much more phscyed about my ride if I can go against the wind first and have a favorable wind to help me back after I'm tired. Sometimes the wind tricks me or changes directions,but not too often.Try to find a few different routes so you'll have more options with the wind and won't get tired of the same scenery. 22 miles is grrreat for a newbie road gal.

[teigyr]

You know what? When I started (beyond when I was young), I had a steel frame mtn bike. I had NO expectations. I didn't know what was good and what was bad. I'd go on roads then duck off and go through orange groves. I didn't compare anything to anything beyond what I liked or didn't like.

Find yourself. You read roadies talking road stuff and mtn bike people and tri people and whatever...you have no idea what is fun to you! Speed isn't everything nor is distance. Where do you want to ride? What would make it fun for you?

I ended up putting "city" tires on my mtn bike. I did centuries on that beast until I decided it was time to get a road bike. To be honest, and as beautiful as my road bike is, I'm not sure I was happier back then. I like road, I like distance. I don't like speed and I do like to be able to switch from dirt to road. I think I need more than one bike :D

Please don't be discouraged. It'll happen...just don't expect too much before you're ready to know what you want. And even then, just go with what makes you happy.

[Starfish]

I agree with whoever said not to try to fall in love with biking. Who knows...maybe it will be your sport, maybe not.

But, I know that I first started riding in order to see if I would like it so that I could share a sport with my then-boyfriend. At first, I had fit issues, and saddle issues, and bike issues, and they did make it less fun. I kept it up because I was motivated to do a sport with him, and also my drive to improve kicked in when I realized I was such a beginner...I like achievement.

Also, I don't know your particular temperament...for me, I have a whole helluva lot more fun once I get a little more competent. I don't enjoy feeling like I don't know what I'm doing, or feeling like I'm unfit at something. I enjoy things more the better I get. Same for biking, for me. I just keep having more and more fun as I get more skills and confidence.

What bothered me when I first started, that kept it from being less fun:

-Lack of confidence around flats and repairs
-Lack of good fit, leading to hand, knee, clitoris soreness
-Uncertainty & fear around hills and traffic (& boredom with bike paths)
-Frustration with beginning level of biking fitness (& related limitations)

Now that I have these things handled, there are some things I love about it, that a person could probably get anywhere, in anything they worked at:

-Setting difficult goals and achieving them
-Wringing every last drop of energy out of my body on a long ride
-Planning, scheming & obsessing for my training and goal-event planning
-A growing sense of mastery, and knowing there is still far to go
-A great community...I am part of a great group of enthusiasts worldwide
-There are super fun, organized events all over the place to give a really fun focus to traveling

And, some things that I love now, biking-specific:

-Really covering some ground...I love that I can go out and do an 80 mile training ride...I mean, I can explore some territory!
-Even fat, like I am now, I can work out HARD and not injure my knee...I have not yet found another exercise I can do for 12-14 hours and not wreck my knee...and I LOVE pushing my body as I get fitter
-I am learning to enjoy speed on the bike (hill descents, tailwind sprints); and as I get fitter, I find it thrilling to feel the speed that my own muscles can produce
-I love learning handling, such as cornering better...I love to drive my car car-and-driver style on mountain roads, etc...and I am enjoying the benefits of proper cornering & acceleration in the same way on my bike for mountain descents, etc. It is a really fun area to build competency.
-I love climbing. I used to fear any little rise, and wonder how I could ever like hill climbing. Now, I deeply enjoy the meditative, rhythmic, breathing-centered activity of a sustained climb. Go figure.

These are just a few things. It must be different for every cyclist, because there are SO many types of riding. Maybe it has something to do with getting past being a beginner so that you can find the kind of riding that suits your personality? Some folks love to race, others solo training, others mountain biking, others social rides, others utility, others track sprints...

[Kimmyt]

Echoing what some others said, if the idea of 'going somewhere' interests you, why don't you try that? Plan out a ride to a local farmers market, a nearby restaurant you've been wanting to try for breakfast, a nearby town with fun little shops, a local park. Make it your goal to get there. On the way there you'll probably see some neat stuff and have a feeling of accomplishment for reaching your goal.

People like things that make them feel good. So do something with your cycling that will make you feel good about yourself.

[Torrilin]

I tend to sound pretty happy about my bike. I'm an introvert, and being able to get out and *do* something on my own is really satisfying. No people to deal with. The fit on my current bike is good enough for me to do a much longer ride than I ever could before. The gearing is a good match for my ability. I can pick up my bike and carry it up and downstairs, so I use the bloody thing (bikes get stored in the basement in my apartment building). Utility biking to get groceries and just plain old get around makes me very happy.

All the previous bikes I've had were heavy. They didn't fit well. And the gearing didn't suit me. So I didn't use them much. I loved defeating a tough hill, but not enough to battle the bike every day. And I didn't (and often still don't) see the point in getting on a bike just for exercise. I want to *go* somewhere. And until fairly recently, I didn't bring enough water when I went out, so I'd feel bad because I was dehydrated.

The stuff that makes me happy would make a lot of other cyclists miserable :). That's ok. There's room for all kinds. Try different kinds of riding, and don't worry about distance or speed unless you find you enjoy them.

[Bad JuJu]

Maybe you could find a riding buddy. Many of us love to ride alone, as I do, and that's how I learned to love riding--going out by myself for miles and just riding and thinking. But last year I acquired a riding buddy, and I love riding with her, too. It's just a different experience.

You could check with your LBS or see if there are any clubs in your area with a slower or beginners' group. Maybe you just need someone to share the ride with.

[mimitabby]

I was thinking about you today as I rode into work.

the light turned green two blocks ahead of me, so I sprinted as fast as i could
and made it through the light. Exhilarating.
then i was in a high gear and it was hard to bank the hill, and i grunted up to the top. (insert bad thoughts here) then i went down the other side of the hill and I was cold. wah wah.. I managed to get into the right gear in time for the next intersection, where a scowling man gunned his engine and rode on the wrong side of the street to pass me (scary)
Then we got to the part of the ride where we ride about 8 blocks through a neighborhood, a block off the industrial road that my company is based on. There were flowers, GIANT trumpet lily things, they were a foot long and 8" at the base. We stopped and turned around to look at them (imagine doing THAT in a car on your way to work!) I kissed Raleighdon goodbye and he went north to downtown and I crossed the street and went into the plant... and this is another fun part.

my company is huge, I ride over a mile from where I enter to where my office is all on company property; where the speed limit is 15 for cars. I take a breath and relax. i am always smiling when i get here (except the time i got a flat tire) and i just cruise on the immaculately maintained roads along side of fork lifts, passenger cars, Giant trucks and at one part, tour buses.
a few of these guys are impatient and pass me; but most of them are happy to go along at 10mph behind me. The last 1/3 of my last mile, I cruise through an old empty building where they made bomber airplanes in WWII. The pavement is so smooth that my bike and I glide silently through the strange dark building which used to be so noisy it hurt your ears. I get an incredible feeling of lightness, like I am playing when I should be working. moments later I roll up to my own building, where a wonderful bike holder was built into the wall so I could safely store my expensive new bike.

I hope that helps. I'm still a weenie, I'm still afraid of scary cars, I still don't like to work, but there's fun in there too.

[GeoCam]

Also, I don't know your particular temperament...for me, I have a whole helluva lot more fun once I get a little more competent. I don't enjoy feeling like I don't know what I'm doing, or feeling like I'm unfit at something. I enjoy things more the better I get. Same for biking, for me. I just keep having more and more fun as I get more skills and confidence.

Yes, yes, yes, Starfish, this is SO who I am as well! Throw in the fact that I am "ready to begin" right at a time when temps have been consistently in the high 90's and low 100's with very high humidity AND that my girls' soccer season is starting, which means practice 3-4 nights a week and games on both Saturday and Sunday - that's a lot of things going against me having a spectacular start.

Thanks for all of the comments. I have also thought that a riding buddy would be good to have. I have checked the group rides of the local LBS, and the only "beginner" ride I would qualify for is on the bike path, and I really am not a fan of that. I might do it anyway this week, because at least it is time in the saddle that will help with my conditioning, right? I don't think I am ready yet for any of the road rides they have, as they are at least 20 miles in the same area where I only managed 5 last Thursday night, but I am looking forward to being able to try that.

My 12yo daughter might be a willing partner, as she has done lots of bike path and neighborhood rides with me, but I have several problems to work out with that idea. Her bike is just too heavy to keep up on the road, and I am very concerned about the safety aspect in taking her out on roads with cars and trucks zooming by. Also, my 10 yo is so NOT interested. She doesn't even like to go with us on the bike path. I can understand how hard it is for her with her 20" wheels, but she is so tiny (46" tall with short legs and less than 50 lbs), she just can't handle a larger bike yet. I guess I really don't want to involve my 12 yo and leave my little one out (and home alone).

I need to go to the LBS to get a bike box for a bike I am going to put on ebay. I think I will ask them if they know of another female newbie who might be interested in riding together. I am also going to think about places I could go early in the morning on weekends that might be fun. I might even get my courage up to ask one of my co-workers. There are two gals who are at least 10 years younger than me who ride together sometimes, although I know they go much further and faster than I can. I'm not ready to give up yet.

[GeoCam]

the light turned green two blocks ahead of me, so I sprinted as fast as i could and made it through the light. Exhilarating.
then i was in a high gear and it was hard to bank the hill, and i grunted up to the top. (insert bad thoughts here) then i went down the other side of the hill and I was cold. wah wah.. I managed to get into the right gear in time for the next intersection, where a scowling man gunned his engine and rode on the wrong side of the street to pass me (scary)
Then we got to the part of the ride where we ride about 8 blocks through a neighborhood, a block off the industrial road that my company is based on. There were flowers, GIANT trumpet lily things, they were a foot long and 8" at the base. We stopped and turned around to look at them (imagine doing THAT in a car on your way to work!) I kissed Raleighdon goodbye and he went north to downtown and I crossed the street and went into the plant... and this is another fun part.

my company is huge, I ride over a mile from where I enter to where my office is all on company property; where the speed limit is 15 for cars. I take a breath and relax. i am always smiling when i get here (except the time i got a flat tire) and i just cruise on the immaculately maintained roads along side of fork lifts, passenger cars, Giant trucks and at one part, tour buses.
a few of these guys are impatient and pass me; but most of them are happy to go along at 10mph behind me. The last 1/3 of my last mile, I cruise through an old empty building where they made bomber airplanes in WWII. The pavement is so smooth that my bike and I glide silently through the strange dark building which used to be so noisy it hurt your ears. I get an incredible feeling of lightness, like I am playing when I should be working.

Mimi - you write very well - I could see it and FEEL it!!! Thank you so much for thinking of me and taking the time to write about your ride. I'm feeling encouraged!

[Torrilin]

Road riding is good preparation for driving. Street Smarts (http://www.bikexprt.com/streetsmarts/usa/index.htm) is the official bicyclist manual for several states, and is available online. If it's not the official manual for your state, it's still helpful, but some details of the law might be different. I've found it *very* helpful, and it should be useful for your older daughter. Roads can be scary places to ride, but understanding the rules helps. Even in places where it feels like every driver is gunning for you :o. Some bike shops and cycling clubs offer road riding courses and maintenance courses. Those might be a bigger value for you than new bike stuff :D.

Your younger daughter is probably not ready to ride on her own most places. Your older daughter is probably good for about a 2-3 mile radius from your house, with good road skills. They both might be more interested if you teach them safe routes so they can go places they enjoy. There's probably a park or playground or friend's house that's a bit far to walk, but a reasonable distance to bike alone. Most kids like being independent. My parents got me into riding a bit as a kid that way, with some simple rules so they knew where I was. I also got rescued fairly often when I got in over my head... meant I learned to remove wheels pretty easily :)

I also find it really helps to let myself do badly. It's ok if I fall. It's ok to not make it up a hard hill. I'll do better next time, and if I beat myself up over the mistake, there won't *be* a next time.

[indigoiis]

I love maps and trip planning, and so that has been my driver so far.
I have days where I want to sleep in, and not ride. Then I remember that cycling is good for the brain. It really is.
And I am always happy when I get home. And fiercely proud. And wicked vain.

;)

[Starfish]

cycling is good for the brain. It really is.
And I am always happy when I get home. And fiercely proud. And wicked vain. ;)

And wicked smart! ;)

[mimitabby]

. Your older daughter is probably good for about a 2-3 mile radius from your house, with good road skills. They both might be more interested if you teach them safe routes so they can go places they enjoy. .


I must respectfully disagree. As soon as both of our sons could handle bikes without training wheels, my husband was taking them on 5 mile rides with me as the caboose so to speak; and when my younger son was 11 (and TINY, probably 80 pounds) they all did the STP (Seattle to portland in two days; 200 miles) with me following in a campervan.

get the kids going while they are younger; don't wait for the teen years to set in and ruin everything!

[Tuckervill]

I agree with Mimi. The kids can go longer distances than we realize, if they are properly encouraged, supported and fed. Most kids don't know how long a mile is, so the thought of riding 20 of them doesn't seem to click like it does in an adult.

However, my son who has been my biking partner for 3 years now, is falling behind me, and now I'm worried about whether he will be able to do the 50 mile ride we have planned for October. eek.

Also, to the original thread....when it starts to feel like a grind to me, I slow down and remember why I always liked riding in the first place. One of my favorite things to do when I was a teen on a ten-speed was swerve around and crush as many dry leaves as I could. Something about that crunch was just so satisfying! So now when I start to feel "eh" about my ride, I start crunching some leaves (as dry as it's been we have plenty, even though it's not fall). Or I follow the shadows of the power lines on the pavement. Or I ride around neighborhoods and admire houses or look in people's windows. (Yes, really! If they don't like it they shouldn't leave their shades up!)

When it starts to feel like "work" or "fitness" then I get bored. So I shake it up a little and ride somewhere else, stop and get a milkshake. ;)

Karen

[mimitabby]

oh yeah, Karen, you reminded me!

A lot of us take singular pleasure in EATING and have discovered that after a hard bike ride you can eat without guilt.. (you can take this too far too)

[Crankin]

I spent a year riding on a mtb with slicks, doing the same 3 or 4 15 mile rides. It got me comfortable on lower traffic roads, but it took my husband forcing me to go up some big climbs on that bike and to do a 20 mile ride. When I saw I could do that, I got a road bike. I worked on increasing my speed for about 2 more years. I find that I need to mix up the kind of riding I do, or I get a "bad attitude." I still am not too confident about my mechanical abilities and i actually ride by myself less now than I did at the beginning. But, I can ride pretty much anywhere, now and deal with traffic, too, although I don't particularly love that. So some days I go out for a fast, short ride, sometimes I ride for fun with a friend who is slower than me, and sometimes I ride with groups. Riding with my husband either pushes me or we both decide to go at a certain speed and stick to it. A big part of the problem is shutting off that voice inside your head that is constantly saying "this su*ks. I still hear it after 7 years and if you let it get to you, it will kill any joy in riding. Then, of course, after I have finished the ride, i feel very accomplished. This happens to me a lot in situations where i don't know the terrain and the type of climbing involved. So, I take that into consideration and realize that any time that is the first time I've done that route, especially not in my local area, I tend to get a little negative.
Keep working at it!

[GeoCam]

You guys have all given me so many good suggestions and so much to think about. I appreciate it.

Mimi and Karen - what kind of bikes did your sons ride when they were small? Although my little one may be 10, she is the size of many kindergarteners. (Way OT, but my sister told me yesterday that my niece is wearing size 8 school uniform jumpers now that she has started Kindergarten. When my little one started Kindergarten in that same school, I had to special order size 2 jumpers from the uniform store!!).

I know many children's bikes are adjusted so that thechild can touch the ground flat-footed while sitting in the saddle, but DD cannot do that even on a bike with 20" wheels. She IS properly fed (lol) and gets a great deal of encouragement as well. However, with her bike probably weighing about 70% as much as she does - wouldn't that take a LOT of effort? The two DD's do ride regularly to the local swimming pool and to the Walgreens (which you can reach via regular neighborhood side streets). She *likes* riding her bike and has done 5 or 6 miles with us, but she is just not enthusiastic about those longer rides. I have wondered if it would help if I could find a bike for her that weighs a lot less. I should probably at least change out her tires since the girls rarely ride on anything unpaved.

[mimitabby]

my son (who wasn't as small as your daughter) rode a schwinn 10 speed... all the way to portland. his cute little legs pedalled him all the way down there.
I don't know what's available for your daughter; my son is now 26 years old.

[Torrilin]

Mimi, I meant alone :). With a parent handy, a lot longer is safe and sane. But I know I didn't have the judgment to go on a 10 mile round trip by myself at 12. I also had to do my own route planning, so it might be very different for a 12 year old with help.

[Tuckervill]

Will was 10 when we started riding and he's as big as me (taller now). You're right about your daughter's weight/bike ratio! I know there are plenty of kid-size road bikes around, if you don't mind spending a little more than the regular kids bikes. I've got about $1200 in both of Will's bikes (road and mountain).

What I've noticed when I see kids on event rides is that their gearing is so low that they pedal way way more than most people have to, so they're going to get worn out.

Karen