OY! Mothers!! (Yes this IS cycling related)...

[Running Mommy]

Ok, a bit of a background here...
My mom is 61 and pretty sedentary. She grew up on a dairy farm and was super active as a youngster. She's one of those "always on the go" types. But her and my dad retired to Brookings OR a few years ago, and she has become very sedentary. When they lived in nor cal she got into pilates and LOVED it. She tried to keep it up in OR, but just couldn't find a class she liked. I bought her a home reformer, and she has an eliptical, but they don't get much use. She keeps saying that she is going to get moving, but other than walking the dog she doesn't get much exercise.
Well my dad has developed a heart condition (mostly his lifestyle) and she has been told she has the bones of an 80 yr. old, so she knows that they really need to get moving..

A few weeks ago she mentioned that she wanted to start riding a bike. She said that they were going to go down to Fred Meyers and buy themselves bikes. :eek: Ok, for those of you not in that neck of the woods. Fred Meyers is a step or two above wal mart. Lets just say I wouldn't expect to see anything decent in the way of bikes in there. I told her NO! Wait until I get there in July and we will go buy you a REAL bike! My concern is that she has a lot of hills in her area, and if she bought a heavy clunky POC she would get discouraged and not ride it. I didn't expect her to buy a top of the line bike. But a nice comfort bike or hybrid that was light enough to get her up the hills without too much trouble.

So fast forward to our convo lastnight...

Mom: Dad and I went to Freddys and bought bikes yesterday... I got a schwinn and he got a mongoose.

ME: WHAT???!!!! I told you to wait! Why did you waste your money?? I can guarantee you that they are going to be too heavy and your not going to like them! ANd then your not going to ride!! Plus I can also see them falling apart! OY! MOOOOMMMM!!! Why didn't you WAIT??!! I told you to wait!

MOM: I knew you were going to freak out. But we just wanted a bike. We didn't want to spend a ton of money. I'm not going to ride on the 101 with all the log trucks. I just want to ride on the hills around the house here. And I don't even know if I'm going to like it...

ME: Well thats the thing, if you had a bike that actually FIT you and was light enough you probably would like it. That is the difference between going to a shop and paying 300.00 for a comfort bike that FITS and going to Fred Meyers and standing over the top tube and saying "looks good to me"... Sometimes that extra 100 bucks is worth it. There is no substitute for a good fit mom. A bad fit will mean anything from a sore neck to a sore back, wrists etc... And if you are not comfortable on the bike you won't be apt to ride it.

Mom: Well I'm not like you. I'm not going to ride for hours. I just wanted a bike.

Me: Mom, I'm not saying that you needed to buy a road bike, or some high end bike. I just wanted to see you get something COMFORTABLE so that maybe you would be inclined to USE it more. So I tell you what, if you start RIDING and like it I will buy you a nice bike. Something along the lines of a comfort bike. Riding really is fun, and I want you to enjoy it like I do. You don't have to be speed racer to enjoy riding!! There are ALL types of riders out there. But in the meantime I will bring you some saddles to try out, cause I KNOW the one on your bike is prolly awful. And I'll bring you some bike shorts. Oh, and I'll bring the tool kit and see if we can make it fit you... Do you have gloves??

Mom: Ok... I know, I know... I should have waited for you.... sigh...

And then we started talking about helmets.... I don't even want to GO there! But yes, she does have one...:rolleyes:

So after this long winded post, what I need from you ladies is some encouraging words that I can give to my mom to get her butt in gear. What would be esp. useful are posts from the over 50 crowd, and also from the "formerly not so fit" crowd to give her a kick in the pants. But any encouraging posts would be most appreciated.
I need to get her going. I love my mom more than you can imagine, and I want her to be healthy and happy for many years to come.
Thanks in advance ladies. I know I can count on you to get "mama of running mommy" going! :)

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I think it would be interesting to switch the "Mom:" and "Me:" labels around in this story, read it again, and see what it might be like from another point of view. ;) ;)

[Veronica]

You can tell her about my three English gentlemen who are cycling across the country. They are 64, 65 and 71 years young! The 65 year old only got into biking a couple of years ago.

V.

[cosc]

Many tour-group rides have a majority of older folks that participate and have a grand time. Mabe show some pics of the great fun their peers have while riding.

[tangentgirl]

It's really cool that your folks went out and got bikes. Ok, Fred Meyers, I know, not the kind of care you're going to get from your local bike shop - but there's probably a decent return policy, too. If you get up there and the fit is completely awful, they could take them back and get something that won't cause injuries later. Alternately, you could buy your parents professional fittings at a bike store in OR, in case you won't be there for a while.

As for motivation, you could call your mom, tell her you're really glad that she's doing something proactive - getting bikes - and that you just worry. Then launch into a conversation about all the fun of cycling. Make sure she feels good about this step. Compare notes on your bike routes. You could maybe send them some cool jerseys (or maybe just nice wicking tops, if they don't want to look too super-cycle-y). Try to bring (or borrow) a bike when you go up there and then ride with your folks. I'm sure they'll be tickled to go out with you.

[Zen]

You can't change someone if they don't really want to change.

Take your bike with you and ride with them. Depending on how that goes, take them to a bike shop and show them what a good fit, lighter ride and better shifting feel like.

[farrellcollie]

I know you might not want to hear this - but my 70 yr old father is happy as a clam on the target bike he bought a couple of years ago. He rides a few times a week for about an hour in regular clothes in a relatively hilly area - he only rides on paved trails - not the road. He has never changed the saddle and I have found we are both happier if I don't tell him how to do it. Actually - he would ignore me if I tried to get him to change - so I guess it just saves me the stress. I doubt if he has ever shifted the gears since he got it - it is just in some middle gear - I don't know what would happen if he tried to shift.

[Jones]

"Her Sports" magazine has an article about Sister Madonna Buder (sorry not sure of the last name), she didn't start to exercise until she was 48 and now she is the oldest competing female ironman.
Jones

[Running Mommy]

I am going to be up there this week, so it isn't like she would have had to wait long.
I guess it just frustrates me because she lives her life in regret. And I can't tell you how many times she has failed to consider my opinion and then regretted it. I've heard her say " I know, You were right" more times than I can count. Mostly it's in financial things. But I guess as a parent you never want to consider the fact that your kid may just have a valid point. I'm not saying that I'm always right, and I know as Lisa said- the table could be turned. I guess it could be said that as a kid I haven't always listened to her either. But I was just hoping for once that she would wait for me so that I could have helped her pick out a bike that is suitable.
I hope I'm wrong and that when I get up there the bike is fine. I also hope that she likes riding as much as I do. And god knows that after 38 years I know there is no way I can change her. Heck I've given up trying. The bike thing was her idea.

[tangentgirl]

RM, I hear ya, parents can be frustrating. Sometimes you have to step back and say, well, as long as they haven't joined a cult or gotten into a pyramid scheme...

I can totally picture my mom doing the same thing. And me having the same reaction, which makes reading this interesting. On the level of snafus, though, this one's probably pretty low-risk.

[tjf9]

I've had very similar conversations with my mom too. With my mom, I always get annoyed because she asks my opinion and then ignores it. If she didn't want my opinion, why did she bring it up?

Hopefully your mom will decide that she likes the bike and actually starts to use it. As a formerly unfit person, I don't think there's anything you can do to get her going other than be supportive and encouraging. She'll do it if she's ready. Good luck!

[SouthernBelle]

To be honest, if I was your mom, I'd never ride a bike again after that conversation. Or I'd tell you to put it where the sun don't shine.

I see 2 older gentlemen out riding very frequently in my area. They are riding old, upright, heavy bikes. They are having a good time.

Did she ask your opinion about the bikes? No. I expect she was hoping for an enthusiatic response about she and your dad buying the bikes and you shot her down. I also note he bought a bike too. So I assume he was present for this. But this is all about your mom.

JMHO.

[Torrilin]

Y'know, if she's excited enough to go out on her own and get a bike... that sounds like a *good* thing to me. Listen to what she wants out of the bike. Encourage her. Tell her you love her. Ask her if there's any place she'd like to be able to bike to.

Show her where the local bike shop is so she can get help with the bike on her own. She'll feel better and you'll feel better :). If she doesn't know, remind her that bikes are pretty simple machines, and she can learn to fix many problems on her own. She's a grownup and she did ok with you. I think she can manage a bike. They mouth off less than teenagers do.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Well, what's done is done. Now go have fun riding slow with your parents! :p
Maybe they will not even HAVE any fit problems with their bikes- who knows? Fit problems tend to be more relevent if you ride a ton of miles anyway- and your parents will most likely be around-the-neighborhood/errand riders.
Now's the time to let it go and just encourage your mom. :)

[singletrackmind]

Yep, time to do a 360. Maybe they aren't ideal bikes but at least they're bikes. Try to be positive, compliment the color if that's all you can find, and encourage and compliment their biking. It's the whole flies with honey vs vinegar thing. They're newbies at this so don't be surprised if they only go a mile or two. If she has to increase bone density she should also be walking. :)

[Duck on Wheels]

Well, I'm near your mother's age (59 next week), and 2 years ago I did about the same. My sister (Trek420) wasn't there to advise me, so I wound up buying a bike that, well, I guess it fit well enough, but it weighed a ton :eek: and it was a women's frame bike (not WSD, but the kind you can ride in a skirt and that has inefficient transfer of energi from back wheel to front) :eek: :eek: Trek just about had a fit when she saw what I planned to ride on at the Cinderella century. One LBS she took it to to get it prepped for the ride said "I give her an hour." So she took it to her favorite LBS, had slicks put on it, and off I went. Managed 42 miles in rain, hail and headwinds. Not so bad. And it was fun because I had a fun lady to ride with (Mel -- another TE gal). Then, when I felt I could afford to trade it in, I got a much better bike. :D So do not despair. Get your Mom involved with TE. We'll back you both up with plenty of encouragement.

[KnottedYet]

Trek just about had a fit when she saw what I planned to ride on at the Cinderella century.

I heard stories about that.... :D

[Trek420]

Have fun riding with your Mom, gear down, slow down, take the computer off the bike and just have a fun ride. Show your Mom she can have a good time on the bike, that's her idea of a good time.

Is there a route that's short, easy maybe stop for coffee in the middle or just enjoy a view? Don't lecture, don't train, just show her riding is fun and take it from there. If she likes it she'll ride more. If you lecture, show off, complain about the bike and she may stop.

Once she sees that it's fun and that it's a connection to you, she will have questions and lucky her she has you to answer them. :)

Like you I love my (also Duck on Wheels) Mom so much. There's little if anything that I know more about than her. It's not only that she's brilliant, and the older I get the smarter I know my Mom is. I'm sure a lot of us feel this way. It's the way she organizes, presents and retains ideas and information.

My Mom never learned to ride a bike, as far as I know the only time she rode was on the back of a tandem when courting with my Dad.

But when I was little she taught me how to ride mine :D Riding with family is a great bonding experience, you're lucky to be able to go on a ride with your Mom.

Fitness is different at any age. My Mom gardens. After my Dad died when she moved to a smaller place in town she noticed that her fitness level was down. Instead of gardening, farming really 3 acres she now had a standard city back yard.

So she took action. :) She's 85 BTW. She didn't wait to have it prescribed.

Now in addition to gardening she walks. I have a hard time keeping up but whenever I visit we try to enjoy a walk together, or if there's an errand in town we walk to it.

Mom's my inspiration. I'd like to be as fit as possible as long as I can. This enables her to continue to pretty much do whatever she wants or needs to do at an age others are much impaired.

[Trek420]

I wound up buying a bike that, well, I guess it fit well enough, but it weighed a ton :eek: and it was a women's frame bike (not WSD, but the kind you can ride in a skirt and that has inefficient transfer of energi from back wheel to front) :eek: :eek: Trek just about had a fit when she saw what I planned to ride on at the Cinderella century.

We were at Moms and DoW says "go look at the bike, it's in the garage.:) "

I think my jaw dropped. "How the &^% are we going to do this with this bike :("


One LBS she took it to to get it prepped for the ride said "I give her an hour." So she took it to her favorite LBS, had slicks put on it, and off I went.

I tried to rent an alternate bike from Cyclepath in Hayward. They did not have one in your size. The manager there gave you "10 miles, or an hour, whichever comes first" on the Giant Sedona womens frame.

My LBS said the only thing we can do is put slicks on.

Both were pleased you survived 42 miles of the brutal-epic Cinderella Century. I'm proud too.


Then, when I felt I could afford to trade it in, I got a much better bike. :D So do not despair. Get your Mom involved with TE. We'll back you both up with plenty of encouragement.

Duck's right, encourage your Mom and bring her here. DoW's bike was not a box store bike, just wrong for a Century.

The bad thing about box store bikes is people give up on cycling because they are just so so...:mad: the good thing is if they get that to get started and go on to get a better bike.

[Running Mommy]

Do you ever regret starting a thread?? Well this is one of those threads...
SHEESH! :eek:
I really do not expect my mom and dad to ride anywhere NEAR the mileage that I ride. I fully expect them to be around the hood cruises. And I'm sure they will be slow ones at that. Like I said, there are all types of riders out there, and I value ALL of them. As far as I'm concerned as long as your happy and your riding, it's all good.
But YES Southern Belle my mom DID ask me about getting a bike in our convo a few weeks ago. And that is when I told her to wait and I'd go with her. And as for my dad, well I just shake my head at him. He's a lifelong alcoholic and could really care less about his health. I have gave up trying to be encouraging to him. Lets just say that he needs a heart operation, but he refuses to get it because the meds he would be on would force him to stop drinking.
But I found your response quite snarky. Sheesh! NO need for that. So much for that sweet southern charm... :cool:

What I was really hoping for was stories of folks who went from the couch to the bike and are happier for it. Esp. those folks that are perhaps a bit older. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "well if I was young like you I would take up running" . I would certainly encourage her in whatever she did. She is always complaining about how she "needs" to do something, but I think she needs a kick in the pants to get going. It's like she's stuck in a sedentary black hole.

And I certainly hope I'm wrong. I hope that the bike DOES fit. Knowing my mom the way I do, if I can just get her out there and happy I think she'll stick with it.
So if anyone else (thanks trek and duck. I LOVED that story!) has anything encouraging for my mom I would appreciate it.
If you just want to blast me, well... whatever.. Blast away.. (as Denise ducks from eggs being thrown at her)

[SouthernBelle]

You asked for opinions. Based on the conversation you related, I gave my opinion. I didn't call you names, or make personal remarks. It's a shame I didn't receive at least that courtesy in return however you felt about my opinion. I gave my reaction to what you related.

Now you've added on additional information which I was supposed to magically intuit. Although it really doesn't change my opinion of how you spoke to your mother.

[DDH]

Here's a story for you.
My Stepmother who is in her mid 50's started riding a big heavy cheap bike she bought from the px last year, back and forth to work. She was very heavy and 2 years ago had gastic bypass surgery and after losing over 100 lbs she started riding this bike. I still had my mountain bike and had started riding again last summer after I quit smoking and was trying to get into shape and lose weight, so her and I started riding together off and on last summer and let me tell you, she kept up with me just fine on that heavy clunky bike. My DH and I told her several times that she would be amazed at the difference if she bought a better bike, but she did not want to spend a lot of money on a bike when she wasn't sure she would stick with it and that is why she bought that one.
Well, last summer was when I got my new hybrid Cannondale so I sold my Stepmother my mountain bike (cheap) since I wouldn't need it, so she could have a better bike to ride and we all went to the Waco wild west organized ride last year and she and my dh made it the 50 miles and I didn't. I sagged out after I think 30 miles and just couldn't go anymore. I went back to the truck and waited and they both came in dog tired and ready to collapse but they made it.
I guess that big heavy clunky bike, prepared her better and got her in better shape, so when she got my better bike with the street slicks it was much easier for her to ride. At least that's how I justify me not making it and her beating me. LOL:rolleyes: :D

Point being I guess, encourage your mom to ride the heavy cheaper bike and help her get the best fit with it she can, and when or if she falls in love with riding, then help her find a good bike that will last for her and fit her even better and she will be able to fall in love with riding all over again. I thought the same way as you about those cheap bikes, but my stepmother did fine on hers and I understood why she didn't want to spend a lot of money unless she found out if she was going to enjoy it.
Just think if she gets good on the big heavy cheaper bike, how much better she will be if and when she gets a good bike. Let her know she can always look around for a used one so she doesn't spend so much too.

[emily_in_nc]

I'm just envious that you have a mom who is willing to ride any kind of bike at all. I can't even get my mom to walk around the block. She's 72, so I don't expect her to go out and ride necessarily, since she hasn't been on a bike in many decades, but walking would be a good thing as she's overweight and hates it. But do anything about it that required EXERCISING???? Not gonna happen. It saddens me greatly, but she hates it when I nag or even nicely suggest, so I've just given up. When I see fit, trim women in their 70s out walking, I so wish that were my mom! It could be, but she has made the choice not to live an active lifestyle. The most exercise she gets is going to the grocery store and walking the aisles.

So, while I understand your frustration that she went out and bought a bike without you, just be very, very glad that she did that and that she wants to ride! I would give anything to be in your place right now. :(

Emily

[Trek420]

So, while I understand your frustration that she went out and bought a bike without you, just be very, very glad that she did that and that she wants to ride! I would give anything to be in your place right now. :(

Emily

Not to mention those who've lost their parents and don't have Moms around at all. :(

Three cheers for our Moms, riding or not we appreciate them.

After all where would we be without them? :rolleyes: :) :D

[Crankin]

RM, I don't think you said anything wrong. I hear your frustration! We all talk to parents that way some time, jeez... Now i'm not in that situation, since my mom died almost 11 years ago. If she was here, she WOULD be out riding, even if it was on a crappy bike. She was very athletic and fitness oriented and walked 5 miles a day until she got liver disease. I think you just wished your parents would have waited and taken advice from you, because that means they value your opinion and even see you as an "expert" about bikes. Some parents just can't do that (like my husband's). I know that my adult children know a lot more than me about certain things and I definitely take their advice. On the other hand, I don't give any to them, unless it is asked for! Thankfully, they do ask because I have worked very hard to keep the lines of communication open.
So, I wouldn't feel too bad about what you said to them. As for the honey vs. vinegar thing, I can only do that so much, more in a work situation than with relatives. I guess I am not a "honey" type of person, being the mean, Northeast US person that I am! I totally understand where you are coming from.

[bmccasland]

RM -
I'm in the pushing 50 crowd, and will join in the fray :D

When I was evacuated for Katrina, my friends wanted to get bikes. I conviced them to go to the LBS instead of Wally World. The three of us bought comfort bikes and then thorougly enjoyed riding the country roads around where we were temporarily living. Probably kept us sane, or at least not at each other's throats during that stressful time.

Since then I have added paniers so I could run errands near the house - there are strip malls about 1/2 mile away at the edges of the neighborhood. I find my comfort bike more *fun* to ride than my road bike. More like when I was a kid, just tooling around the neighborhood, the point is to enjoy getting there, look at the scenery. And not quite feel quite so guilty riding to the French bakery for croissants on saturday morning :rolleyes:

The point is to have fun while riding, not how fast you get there. So let your Mom have fun, and if she wants something more, or her bike gives her trouble, then recommend a LBS to help her out - either with repairs or the gentle suggestion to trade it in for something else. Besides, hearing something from non-family doesn't bring in all those family *issues* that manage to insert themselves no matter what.

[pooks]

I'm younger than your mom, but overweight and VERY out of shape. So here's how cycling has made a difference for me.

It's the only exercise I ever LOVED. It's the only form of exercise that has me excited and wanting to learn more, do more -- though I admit I haven't made as much progress as I would have liked to in my first year.

But here -- this will tell a bit of the story. My first ride on my new bike a year ago:

http://planetpooks.wordpress.com/2006/06/11/success/

And five weeks later:

http://planetpooks.wordpress.com/2006/07/17/i-hope-its-not-this-hot-in-october/

See if that helps!

ETA: Oh, what bmmcasland said! If they don't already have them, buy them bike chains. Find some place fun to ride to -- for coffee or dessert or a burger or whatever. Ride together, chain you bikes outside, go in and eat and relax, go back out. Introduce them to how much FUN it can be to save money on gas and get the blood flowing!

[BikeDutchess]

My mom, like most people living in Holland, grew up riding her bicycle for transportation, but it wasn't something she particularly enjoyed doing. It was just a way to get around. She was happy to switch from riding to driving once she finally got her license.

In '79 she moved to the U.S. for 5 years and did not ride her bike at all during that time. After moving back to Holland, all of a sudden she caught the biking bug. She was in her 40's then. She and my dad bought good bikes, and had loads of fun biking together. They did all kinds of bike trips in Europe, including some with us when we were on vacation.

In '05 her right shoulder & arm were amputated due to cancer. That did not stop her from biking. She got a custom-made 3-wheel recumbent with all the controls on the left handle and kept on riding. We had a great bike vacation with her last summer, with her just zooming along on her "Buster".

My mom died 3 months ago at the age of 65 (the cancer finally got her) and it makes me so sad that I won't be able to go riding with her again, ever. I have wonderful memories of the biking we did together.

So enjoy riding with your mom while you can, even if she drives you crazy at times.

[KSH]

I'm just envious that you have a mom who is willing to ride any kind of bike at all. I can't even get my mom to walk around the block. She's 72, so I don't expect her to go out and ride necessarily, since she hasn't been on a bike in many decades, but walking would be a good thing as she's overweight and hates it. But do anything about it that required EXERCISING???? Not gonna happen. It saddens me greatly, but she hates it when I nag or even nicely suggest, so I've just given up. When I see fit, trim women in their 70s out walking, I so wish that were my mom! It could be, but she has made the choice not to live an active lifestyle. The most exercise she gets is going to the grocery store and walking the aisles.

So, while I understand your frustration that she went out and bought a bike without you, just be very, very glad that she did that and that she wants to ride! I would give anything to be in your place right now. :(

Emily

Emily, do we have the same mother? I think so!


Denise... yes, you do know better than your Mother when it comes to buying a bike. And yes, you could have helped her greatly. What's done is done though.

Just go out there, and ride with her some. Even if it's just a mile up the road and back, then so be it. At least she is doing something.

And... although we can be well meaning... and we can get so excited when someone we loves takes interest in something we love... it's sometimes best to just not overload them with information. For some people, too much at one time = frustration = give it up.

I understand my boyfriend to be one of these people... helping him is not helping him at all. So, when he said he wanted to train for a do tri's. I said "OK" and left him on his own. No advice, nothing. He did it on his own and was happy about it. Even recently, when I tried to give him tips on how to swim faster... it just got him all snarly and rude and he started saying that he couldn't swim. Lesson learned. Don't help.

Anyhoo... that's cool that she bought a bike at all.

[Running Mommy]

Donna, Emily, Robin, BMC. et al....
Thanks so much! I loved those stories and I will share them with my mom. I will also share with her the wrath that I got for giving her a hard time. She will appreciate it... :p
I think my written words "sound" worse than they really came across in person. You know it's all in the tone of voice. And written words have no "tone"..:rolleyes:
And yes, I do appreciate that I have her here with me still. Losing her is something that I cannot even fathom. I guess that's why I'm so eager to help her get back into shape. I know deep down she really wants to. But I also know that pushing someone won't help either.
And KSH, I laughed about the tri thing. When Tony told me he wanted to do Ironman with me next year I was shocked. I actually made him wait two weeks before I signed him up. I just couldn't believe it! But he is dedicated, and he's kicking BUTT in training!! He is already so much faster than me! OY! What have I created?? heh heh heh

[colby]

I got lucky, I guess -- my dad (in his 50s) had some experience riding decent road bikes long long ago in a land far far away (BC - Before Colby, I'm the oldest of 4). We bought new road bikes, nearly identical (mine is WSD), just over a year ago. While he works outside and skis in the winter, he doesn't get a lot of regular aerobic exercise. We both went for it from day one and got clipless pedals (his are SPDs with wide platforms he could still ride on). Riding the road bike is sometimes a challenge for him and he's not a huge fan of bike wear, but I'm proud that he's willing to go all in and I like having an occasional riding partner.

A friend of mine recently bypassed this issue by buying a bike for her mom as a gift. They picked it out together, but she had recently gone through this process herself (and with her husband), so she kind of knew what she was looking for to start out with. Her mom has started riding regularly, and really likes it. :)

My husband's mom (50s) has an "average" bike herself, and 2 years ago when the folks from her practice (she's a GI nurse) decided to do a sprint tri, she decided to, too. She was a runner in another lifetime (even while Mr. Colby and his brother were kids), but since then the sprint tri was the thing that really re-energized her into exercising. Now she checks out bike trails and kicks my husband's dad's butt on the bike. :)

A guy I work with was recently diagnosed with diabetes (was pretty overweight). He started walking to reduce his blood sugar (that plus radical diet changes worked, he was able to go off his meds), but his body started adapting, and he's too heavy to run/jog. He got a bike and he loves it. It's really opened up a lot more options for exercise, and he can tour around without feeling like he's walking in circles. He did ask for advice before he bought his bike (and he listened to it), but the end result was the same -- another new rider, AND, he's lost a ton of weight.

2 years ago, I was pretty sedentary. I have a job that has me sitting on my butt, and I had been for about 5 years since college -- basically as much of a change as going from a non-sedentary lifestyle to a sedentary one. My husband and I started riding to work on cheapie mountain bikes (yes, we fell into that trap, but it's only 6 miles), and it was really a great entry-level exercise for us. The first few times were difficult, but it was nice to feel like you were doing something good. We slacked off, gained more weight, I took up running (maybe not so good a first choice), we started riding to work again, fast forward 2 or so years and I've ran, rode, and swam more miles than I'd care to count, and I've lost upwards of 80+lbs. It is possible to enjoy a mediocre bike, but I consider it a gateway drug. ;)

For my husband, the bike has a low cost of entry. He can get on it, go as far as he wants, and turn around and come home. I love to ride with him, but I'm not so sure he loves to ride with me. ;) I've got him on a 2-3 days a week riding to work (12 mile) plan, and he's willing to consider more. He has a flat-bar road bike (road components and fast tires, just flat-bar). Once or twice he's jogged with me, but it has a very high cost of entry (and that whole "you've ran a marathon" thing works against me).

Good luck, RM. If anyone can teach her to love it, it's you. :)

[Mr. Bloom]

RM,

Not exactly the story you were hoping for, but relevant nonetheless:

Years ago, we were out riding with the kids and SilverDad (at about age 70) said "I want to ride your bike". I was scared, because he's not very coordinated, but he was determined.

He got on the bike and rode half a block - wobbling and shaking the entire way. I was freaking out.

Needless to say, I didn't encourage him any after that.

Unfortunately, today, he's 80 and often doesn't have the ability to even get downstairs to dinner because his legs are so weak from his sedentary living...and that's using a walker!

We had them in exercise classes at one point, but they didn't stick with them.

I'm glad to see what your parents are doing...and remember, your kids favorite toy is a cardboard box (not the expensive item that came in it) and I bet your parents will love their bikes.

[Pyannyplayer]

Okay, after reading this thread earlier (and coming back to read more!), I decided that I needed to post my "biking story" to maybe put another slant on the subject.

Three years ago, at age 44, I had a health scare which pretty much meant that I had to lose weight and move; I was over 260 pounds, sedentary, and was pretty much told that I would be dead in 5 years or less at the rate I was going. I was one of those people that HATED to sweat and was so much happier to sit and, well, EAT.

As a result, I lost some weight but just couldn't get that "exercise" thing. My dear husband, however, has always been active and is a dedicated bike commuter. His sister, also a cyclist, visits often and he decided to buy a used bike for her to use when she's here. It needed to be easy for her to get on (due to arthritis) and to have wider tires for our gravel roads. Of course, "I" had to test ride it. $75 poorer, we had a HUGE, HEAVY Schwinn lady's bike. I rode a few times with him and really enjoyed biking and spending that time with him(he has the patience of a SAINT and would wait for me.....no matter how many times I had to stop!!). 3 months later I bought a new Trek hybrid (my first brand new bike EVER).

Fast forward to now. I have a Trek 1000 road bike, do triathlons, bike a MINIMUM of 100 miles a week, went from my first "exciting high" average speed of 9 miles an hour to 18 miles an hour, and I've lost the equivalant of a person. My closet has been overtaken by workout clothes and bike jerseys. I may be teaching my courses in them this year!

My husband, knowing my personality, NEVER pushed, NEVER gave advice, and just came along to make sure I was safe and to give encouragement. I will forever be thankful he did that, because I wouldn't be here, with my "sexy biker babe tan" (which he LOVES), without him.

I realize that every person is different, but.....that's my story and I'm sticking to it! ;)

Good luck with your Mom and Dad. Be as encouraging and loving as you can. That is really the only thing you can do.

Lorie

[MM_QFC!]

Not to mention those who've lost their parents and don't have Moms around at all. :(

Three cheers for our Moms, riding or not we appreciate them.

After all where would we be without them? :rolleyes: :) :D


Yes, sadly I'm now in that group as I lost my awesome Mom last December. She was not a bike rider herself, but was my biggest cheerleader and supporter and modeled a consistently positive, can-do attitude. She took up tennis in her 40's, while going through a difficult divorce, returning to work and becoming a single parent to 5 kids, hellions all! It was a therapeutic activity for her too, I'm sure, and she became a terrific tournament player and our tennis club women's singles champion for 3 years running. We partnered together in the women's doubles and how she put up with my teenage struggles and immaturity on the court, I'll never know, but we both thoroughly enjoyed that being one of the many activities we had together.

It sounds like your Mother knows how she wants to ride and how she'll enjoy it the most and maybe your support and encouragement is all she really needs? Could be that all of our roadie advice based on our own experience and knowledge really isn't necessary in some situations; just a smile at enjoying a mutual love of riding?

Best wishes for you to enjoy the time you'll have just riding along together - it's a really precious opportunity - happy trails!

[Running Mommy]

THAT is the story I needed! I actually cried because in a lot of ways, you and I are the same! I used to hate to sweat too! And I was always chunky, but when I met my husband I guess I figured I had a license to eat or something?? I gained about 80 lbs which is WAY too much on my 5'1" frame! It was hearing my husbands great aunt say out loud at a wedding "BOY! She sure has gotten FAT" that threw me over the edge! We actually had to leave the wedding. I was so upset. But it also spurred me to get my act together.
I started with step aerobics. That was the "thing" that got me going. I loved it so much that I eventually got certified to teach. And then my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. I started run/walking on the treadmill to ease the stress of facing losing her. And then I decided that I was going to run a 10k in her honor, and then I became the 10k queen. The next thing you know it's 1999 and I get a wild hair that I want to run the NYC marathon. So I run a few of those, then I decide to get into triathlon, so I teach myself to swim laps. A ton of short distances later a co workers brother is doing Ironman Florida, and I decide that I want to do that too.. Next thing you know I'm crossing the finishline at IMAZ in 2006.
So yeah, those small things can lead to much bigger things. But if you had asked me in the early 90's when I was watching the Mark Allen/Dave Scott duels in Kona on the wild world of sports if I would ever fathom doing something like that, I would have fallen over in laughter.
Ya just never know!

[Running Mommy]

First of all, she is happy as a clam! And I couldn't be happier for her! She was giddy when she was talkng about her and my dad riding over the weekend.

And yes, I told her all about how you ladies set me straight. She got quite a chuckle out of that.

One thing she is having touble with is a very sore tailbone. She said the hoo ha's were fine. It was the tail bone. She has some past niggles here and there that give her a bit of a bother every once in awhile. But to her credit she said that she was going to take it down to the "real" (her words not mine) bike shop and see if she could "give the guy a few bucks to get me fitted on it".. I told her I thought that was a grand idea. I also suggested she may need to swap out the seat. She asked me about good seats. I told her that most all of us have had to "Kiss a lot of toads" before we found the "prince"...:rolleyes:
I'm going to take her a few of my "toads" and see if she finds a "prince" in the lot..:p

But we talked about saddle soreness, and I told her what to expect as a new rider. I want her to know that it will get better.

But the thing that really made my heart skip a beat was when she said she loves the feeling of the breeze in her face when she rides. I was BUSTING I was so happy for her!
I was lamenting what Donna said about how after riding a heavy bike she is going to fly if she ever gets on a light bike. She laughed and talked excitedly about all the "serious" riders and clubs that she see's riding in the area. You never know, maybe she has that seed back there somewhere just looking for some fertile soil?? I'm not going to push her- not that it would matter if I did. But I will secretly pray that she takes up cycling and gets back into shape. I know her and she will be MUCH happier if she does.

She also told me a story that I didn't know. Apparently when I was off working in New York way back when, someone had given her a bike and she rode it back and forth to work. She mentioned how it was nice in the morning to cruise down this one hill, but coming home in the afternoon going up it was another thing! Ok, first of all that hill is a KILLER to walk, much less ride a bike! I was amazed she even tried it! But she said she used to love riding to work because she felt much better. Go figure??!! I guess I'm not giving her the credit she has due! Sheesh!
So anyway, I found the bike she has online.

http://www99.shopping.com/xPC-Schwinn-Schwinn-High-Timber-Women-s-Mountain-Bike

She loves the color, and I have to agree. I like the color. It's not so bad afterall I guess. But if she loves this bike..... (wheels turning on potential christmas/birthday presents years down the road)...:p

OK off to bed.
Ciao bellas!
Denise

[singletrackmind]

Yes, the color is nice and she certainly could have done much worse overall. Not too bad. Glad to see you're counting the blessings most positively. :)




Great inspirational stories ladies, thank you,
and thank you mom, gone only physically, forever here in my heart.

[Pyannyplayer]

Denise:

I know what you mean! My husband will give me this "look" every now and then; he then says something to the effect of "Who'd a thunk that YOU would be so active and having so much fun? I just LOVE my favorite bikin' buddy!" We've met some awesome people (cyclists and triathletes) and my favorite store has gone from "Rocky Mountain Chocolate" to "REI" and my "LBS"! Anniversaries are biking days (we bought each other our road bikes last year), birthdays and Christmas are biking "gift" times........my office is decorated with bike and tri stuff.......it has been an amazing transformation for me and I know it has been for you as well.

From the sound of your last post, it sounds as though your Mom may be on the track you wanted anyway. She may just have to "do it on her own", if you know what I mean and she will most likely keep asking for your advice and help. Who knows? The sky's the limit!

I'm glad she's enjoying the bike. RIDE ON!

Lorie

[Torrilin]

It sounds like your mom may enjoy utility biking since she liked commuting :). Keep your ears open... she may be providing you with the perfect source of present ideas for years to come. There are all sorts of handy gadgets for a utility bike, and they can be hard to find if your LBS is more interested in racing customers.

It's great that she's having fun. IME that's the best way to make sure one sticks with a life change.

[pooks]

Great news! I'm so happy for your mom -- and I think she's on her way to true bike-love.

[DDH]

Oh, I'm so happy that she is having fun on it. Take a picture of her on her new bike and post it for us to see.
How bout your dad? Is he riding and enjoying it too?

[Kano]

One thing she is having touble with is a very sore tailbone. She said the hoo ha's were fine. It was the tail bone. She asked me about good seats. I told her that most all of us have had to "Kiss a lot of toads" before we found the "prince"...:rolleyes: Denise

Denise, you're probably coming from a "roadie" point of view, so I thought I'd mention that "comfort" on her bike's saddle is coming from a whole different angle! The big, plushy "comfort" saddles they put on the upright bikes, -- in my experience, HECK on the tailbone! On my comfort-beast, I found that I was far more comfortable on a Specialized Dolce saddle -- which may help you with your choice of "toads" to bring along for her to test ride! (Then there's DH: it took him a year of riding on that same saddle to realize he was uncomfortable as all get out, and even then, he didn't give it up until I pointed out to him that somehow, over time, he'd managed to get one rail all bent out of shape, so not only was he uncomfy, but sitting way crooked! He could hardly wait to go to the bike shop then!)

Karen in Boise

[Trek420]

http://www99.shopping.com/xPC-Schwinn-Schwinn-High-Timber-Women-s-Mountain-Bike

She loves the color, and I have to agree. I like the color. It's not so bad afterall I guess. But if she loves this bike..... (wheels turning on potential christmas/birthday presents years down the road)...:p

OK off to bed.
Ciao bellas!
Denise

Sounds like Mom's a tough, strong gal :D

Subliminal gift hint, only a little more, has a triple, similar color, nice bike :D Knott did her first tri on this, just a subliminal hint

http://www.konaworld.com/bikes/2k7/DEW/index.html

[Kris]

I'm a little late to the discussion, but thought I'd add my two bits anyway.

Your conversation with your mom sounds like me and my son. Family dynamics can be tricky. He thinks he knows what airplane we should fly on when we go on vacation, where we ought to live, and what kind of dog we should have. Anyway, it sounds like things are working out ok with her bike, and I'm glad.

So here's my story. I had an old bike in the garage when we moved here eight years ago. I was 50. I hadn't ridden it for years because previously we lived in the city and it was too darned scary to ride in traffic. I was fat and out of shape. I rode the old bike, but I couldn't get it up the hill that we live on. I live in Central Illinois. It wasn't much of a hill. This was discouraging, and I didn't do it very often.

My son left his mountain bike here for storage, so I gave that a try. I could ride it up the hill! DS is short; the fit wasn't awful. I began to see that it could be fun. Maybe. Then DS took his bike back.

I rode DH's bike occasionally, a Giant hybrid, bought at the LBS, which he used for commuting. It could make it up the hill too. But he's taller, I couldn't reach the ground, and it had those darned cages over the pedals that scared me because I imagined myself getting stuck and toppling over. DH does most of his riding in the basement on a stationary bike while he plays video games. Not my choice, but he's fit, and his doctor is happy.

2+ years ago DH bought me a bike at the other LBS. It's a Specialized hybrid with a woman's frame, and it fits me. I started to ride a bit more. But I didn't have anyone to ride with, and at that stage, I felt a little lonely. I didn't make it a habit, but I did enjoy an occasional ride, and once in a while I rode to work.

We got a cheapo Schwinn tandem, also at the LBS. This might not be the best bike. Far from it. I think it's comparable to your mom's in quality probably. But we could ride together. He couldn't "drop" me. There was a bit of a learning curve, but we started having fun with that too.

Then we got a dog in a moment of madness at the Humane Society, an Australian Cattle Dog, a dog that needs a lot of exercise. More than my old knees could manage. I bought a device that connects the dog to the bike, and we started regular rides together. Bob (the dog) wasn't going to let me forget or make excuses, and pretty soon I actually wanted to ride, even on cold winter mornings. It wasn't just something I had to do because it was good for me. Before long we were up to 5-6 miles per ride, 4-5 times a week. Sometimes I ride alone now, without Bob, so I can go faster and farther, and because I just like it.

Last month DH and I went on a bike and barge trip in Belgium and Holland. I kept up with the group, bicycling about 30 miles per day on a big old heavy Dutch bike, and I felt great, even had energy to spare for being a tourist at the end of the day. My knees feel much better. I have a lot more muscles. And my resting heart rate has dropped considerably. I'm still too heavy, but I think I'm ready to work on that. I can't go much faster until I do.

Now we're planning to try some of the local rides, maybe on the tandem, maybe separately. I know 30 miles on the flat is easy enough, so maybe 60-some would make a good new goal. Maybe we'll upgrade the tandem, when we decide to take it beyond the bike trail. I've been commuting to work a little bit, and DH came home yesterday with a "Euro-style" bike. He went to exchange a pair of gloves that fell apart on the trip, and saw a used Trek bike with fenders, a full chain cover and lights. He's planning to extend his bike commuting into the winter, and to ride in the rain. It weighs a ton, but he thinks he'll stay drier, and his pants won't get greasy.

I second all the advice about being positive. It sounds like you already have managed to make that shift, and you've patched things up with your mom, and she with you. It's irritating when people won't do what you know would be best for them, but everyone's got to make their own decisions, and the rest of us sometimes just have to live with it and make the best of it.

I hope you enjoy some nice rides with her, that's a blessing.

Kris