View Full Version : Diplomacy
hellosunshine
04-06-2007, 10:23 PM
i was looking forward to a 100 mile tt ive got only my coach wants to be my race support and now im dreading it.
so,how do i wangle out of it?wondered about saying my dad wanted to support me instead.find coach intimidating at the moment and im scared to talk to him about some things-my goals are not what he thinks they are,hmm.there again in the great scheme of things he has his own goals this year and i presume he wont be too bothered if im honest with him!thing is i loathe to upset peoples feelings,but at the moment its me getting my knickers in a twist,its a big race and its imp i feel mentally calm for it!
Hi, sunshine! It's always a tough scenario to speak up to someone intimidating, but it's the right thing to do. I know you'll feel better once you've let him know how you feel, and, heck, maybe he'll even understand and let you do what you want!
Good luck, sunshine! This time the butterflies are brave, strong and full of confidence!
Hugs & butterflies,
~T~
sgtiger
04-07-2007, 12:21 AM
A coach is someone who is supposed to bring out the best in you. If you don't speak up now he is going to make you into what he thinks you should be instead of what you see yourself becoming. Maybe if you find the courage to say what is on your mind and clearly define for him what your goals are, he may be willing to work with you and explain some of the reasons behind his expectations. Who knows? He may see some hidden talent that he is trying to bring out. Unless you are more forth coming he won't be able to change his actions, and well, of course, you'll be disappointed and frustrated with yourself and he.
BTW, why do you find him intimidating? Maybe you need to address that issue first.
spokewench
04-07-2007, 06:56 AM
A 100 mile time trial? Wow, we don't do time trials like that here. Do you stay in your aero position the whole way? I think I would die - I'm impressed I don't even like 40 mile time trials!
You will do great no matter who supports you. I'm always glad of some kind of support. I've always done mountain bike races and would support (hand water to my husband); but always did them on my own with my own water (camelback or water sitting in the feed zone waiting for me) ( hubby just isn't very good at sitting around waiting).
So, if someone was willing to support me, I'd accept the help with a BIG THANK YOU!
BUt, you should probably do the race with support that makes you the most comfortable.
hellosunshine
04-07-2007, 01:14 PM
believe me-after about 70miles you are stuck in that position and prob walk around at right angles for the next 48hrs!
the top blokes do em in about 3 1/2 hrs i think,my mate is a 4 hr gal.RESPECT.
hellosunshine
04-09-2007, 10:27 PM
A coach is someone who is supposed to bring out the best in you. If you don't speak up now he is going to make you into what he thinks you should be instead of what you see yourself becoming. Maybe if you find the courage to say what is on your mind and clearly define for him what your goals are, he may be willing to work with you and explain some of the reasons behind his expectations. Who knows? He may see some hidden talent that he is trying to bring out. Unless you are more forth coming he won't be able to change his actions, and well, of course, you'll be disappointed and frustrated with yourself and he.
BTW, why do you find him intimidating? Maybe you need to address that issue first.
new twist to events!met him at a race saturday- did ok for my first 10 mile tt of the season but everyone picked up on the fact i was losing weight and needed "to get a grip"the coach meanwhile told me how to tackle a rather gruesome roadrace i had the following day.....i raced with a hr 10 beats below what it should have been (tired??)his response is to not train with one anymore!anyway,never made it to the rr as hadnt slept,ditto sleep pattern sunday night.I suggested i put my health first and build myself back up sat-no response,sun i explained i was shattered,both with nil reply-then monday i suggested he didnt give me the april plan(already 9 days late)until i had had some proper sleep-response NIL.which has made me slightly paranoid.sort of think i either need more support/feedback off him or i should break away,shame as i do like him as a person and admire him as an athelete.
sort of have a hunch im in this season alone,which is kinda scarey.i find it odd though that he hasnt picked up on some worrying signs like the weight loss,and sporadic plans don not add to ones sense of self esteem!
mind you,like any relationship i guess its 50% my fault,some issues are purely up to me.like increasing strength and sorting the stress levels.and,above all in life we are responsible for ourselves and shouldnt rely on others to pick up the pieces..........
blimey,had a right moan!eeek
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