What's going on your headstone? [Archive] - Women's Cycling Discussion Forums

SadieKate

03-05-2007, 09:37 AM

Maillotpois and I were tossing snippets of conversation back and forth during Saturday's brevet. Of course, some insults were traded (only lovingly, of course). She thinks I'm lazy for not wanting to ride a 300k even through I think she's a wuss for not wanting to mountain bike with me. I told her that she could put on my headstone "Lazy and proud of it."

Later we talked about her 600k last year. Her headstone is going to say "Except for the [near death pulmonary] clots, I was in better shape." :rolleyes:

What is your headstone going to say? Or better yet, what does your family think should be on your headstone?

maillotpois

03-05-2007, 09:42 AM

People are going to think we're really grim. I guess we are. :rolleyes:

When you're riding for hours and hours and hours and hours, the conversation does tend to wander.

pepe6599

03-05-2007, 09:58 AM

"Smile, life happens to everyone." hahaha. My mom would trip if I requested that.

SadieKate

03-05-2007, 09:58 AM

I didn't think the conversation was grim at all. I thought it was pretty funny.

Shall we tell them about Bubba coughing smoke?

Trekhawk

03-05-2007, 09:59 AM

LOL - that is so funny. Yep Lee and I had a few discussions about the fact that shorter distances were much more civilized and that unlike SK we really like stopping along the way. So mine could say something like - Oh well she always did like a good rest stop.:D

maillotpois

03-05-2007, 10:06 AM

Oh TH that's great!

Sk - you're right, it wasn't too grim. Dark humor, though. Yeah, Bubba definitely got our attention with that trick!

SadieKate

03-05-2007, 10:11 AM

TH, I think I'm going to giggle all day long about that one. It is absolutely perfect for a headstone.:D

BleeckerSt_Girl

03-05-2007, 10:14 AM

Well my mother (whom I loved very much) lived a lifestyle very different from me. She always avoided any kind of exertion, work, or effort. She had a great sense of humor though, and we used to laugh a lot together. Once she and I were trying to figure out what we should have on our tombstones. (not that we would have any, both preferring ash scattering, but anyhoo...) I came up with a good one for her- "At Last, No More Annoying Interruptions..." She thought that was perfect, and we both had a good laugh over it. :p :rolleyes:

Kitsune06

03-05-2007, 10:29 AM

I will not be interred. I'm going to see if someone can procure an old glass Skippy or Jif or whatever peanutbutter jar, with the real metal lid etc, and have a graphic artist near and dear to me design a mockup of the appropriate peanut butter label, with all of my vital information in the appropriate fonts etc... Info and quotes as the ingredients and nutritional info, statistics, etc.

My ex used to work in a crematory/funeral home, and told me about the Vibrator- a machine that vibrates the cremated remains into finer dust. I would requiest to only be vibed a little, so the label could truthfully read 'chunky style'

...further, I would ask that a small amt of my ashes be scattered at the Woods, in the creek so they might be part of the landscape there forever...
I would ask my partner to do an ash-rubbing as well... and anyone who wants a bit of me with them. If you don't know what it is, either wiki it or don't ask.

I'm a firm believer that a person is not defined by their physical self- but the mortal coil should be disposed of in a manner best fitting their choice of life. While mine might not *seem* respectable, etc... I want to always make people laugh, always weird people out just a little... and be remembered as that jovial sort.

I want a closed-casket funeral. No matter how I die. I will not die young and pretty just so I make a nicer lookin' corpse. I promise you, if I die young, I probably won't be in good enough shape to be open-casket material anyway.

It's not morbid... on the contrary, it drives me nuts that some people refuse to talk about these things for that reason, then they pass and no one seems to know what they'd want.

mimitabby

03-05-2007, 10:32 AM

as much as I love the idea of a gravestone, it seems like such a waste of money to do that funeral/burial thing. If I can donate my body to science, I will.
then when I die, they will roll me out on a gurney and at some hospital somewhere they will cut out the parts they need and cremate the rest.

kind of like what you do when you break the frame of a bike, you know?
The idea of locking my used up body in a leadlined concrete vault grosses me out.
How the heck can the worms go in and out if they treat you like that?

Kitsune06

03-05-2007, 10:34 AM

Mimi- worms don't go in. you just mummify. They pump you so full of chemicals to do that that you're actually a hazard. (from what I've heard... then again, the crematory really pushed cremation, obviously) It's a great option for those who are very frightened of the idea of becoming worm food. ....uh.... like that's not the point?

WE'RE MADE OUT OF MEAT!

I'm tempted to do the same with mine. Significantly less ash that way. The label would have to read "Take the best and burn the rest" somewhere in the fine print.

maillotpois

03-05-2007, 10:35 AM

I don't think either of us were thinking a "real" headstone. It was more, what's the little one-liner that you think sums up your life?

TsPoet

03-05-2007, 10:40 AM

I've put in my will that I want it to be raining at my funeral, and if it's not, I want the sprinklers on.
But, since I also want cremated, not sure the sprinkler thing will work.

Not to hijack or anything - but I've got a book recommendation for you:

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers
by Mary Roach.

Both the funniest and the most disturbing book I've ever read.

Kitsune06

03-05-2007, 10:40 AM

Oop! My bad.

"She said she'd try anything once!
(thankfully she waited awhile on this one)"

(the 2nd line is to be added if I leave this plane after I reach 70)

mimitabby

03-05-2007, 10:43 AM

okay, a one liner..

it's hard to do!

oh, here you go:

"Cousin to many, friend to some, mother to two, and wife to one"

(I'm a genealogist and have found cousins all over the usa, in Italy, France
and Belgium)

mimitabby

03-05-2007, 10:44 AM

AllezGirl

03-05-2007, 10:53 AM

I would ask my partner to do an ash-rubbing as well... and anyone who wants a bit of me with them.

Me too, Kit? Can I rub your ash?

Kitsune06

03-05-2007, 11:12 AM

Well I didn't expect so many people to want a piece of my ash but I suppose that'd be ok... ;):rolleyes:

yellow

03-05-2007, 11:16 AM

Funny, I've had this epitaph conversation with several people throughout the years. I have a good friend that proudly announced that her plaque (wherever it ends up being) would say "She loved cheap costume jewelry". :p

This is an interesting subject as it's a simple idea that sums up a life. I have no idea what mine would say if I were actually going to be buried. I once took the fire out of a heated discussion with a friend and coworker using this topic. He was going on and on, on his soapbox, about how important this one stupid point was to all of humanity and to his career and life...I stopped him and said "Pierre, do you really want them to put 'He was a good Planner" on your tombstone? Is that what defines you?" That shut him up fast and made him think a little bit. Of course I'm one of those that sees work as an accessory, not as a defining factor. So from his point of view I probably just sounded snotty.

I think I'd let someone else that knows me decide. That's my answer.

Toni

03-05-2007, 11:17 AM

"I'm really going to raise hell now!"

I believe I read that in a Rita Mae Brown book.......I'm going to use it.

mimitabby

03-05-2007, 11:17 AM

Well I didn't expect so many people to want a piece of my ash but I suppose that'd be ok... ;):rolleyes:

We had an estate sale for a single male friend of ours that died. we had all of his stuff in boxes... and we (his friends) were taking it all out of the boxes and setting it up on tables. There was this cute tin (stay away from the tin!)
and we got curious and opened it... it was a tight fitting lid....
It opened too fast and lots of ASHES spilled out. It was apparently his father's ashes, which got all over SOME of us and on my garage floor.
Quickly, we closed the can. We never told his sister (who we gave the ashes to) that we shared some of her (ick ick) father's ashes.

Bruno28

03-05-2007, 11:22 AM

I told you I was ill...

:D :D

[Courtesy of Spike Milligan]

snapdragen

03-05-2007, 11:59 AM

Where am I and why am I in this box?

or

Who's bringing the marshmallows?

SadieKate

03-05-2007, 12:04 PM

I don't think either of us were thinking a "real" headstone. It was more, what's the little one-liner that you think sums up your life?Exactly. Cremation for me and then feed me to the fishies on my favorite trout stream. Of course, I still have lots of trout streams to be explored to figure out which is my favorite.

Adventure Girl

03-05-2007, 12:33 PM

I don't think either of us were thinking a "real" headstone. It was more, what's the little one-liner that you think sums up your life?I hope mine says something like:

She rode her bike a lot!
And she was the love of his life!!!

SadieKate

03-05-2007, 12:48 PM

The bike's love? :confused:

Oh, yeah, the other guy. The one who buys champagne and strawberries for tired riders, and dresses up like a cheerleader.:)

snapdragen

03-05-2007, 01:45 PM

Oh, yeah, the other guy. The one who buys champagne and strawberries for tired riders, and dresses up like a cheerleader.:)

We all love that guy!

wannaduacentury

03-05-2007, 01:50 PM

Mine would say "No More Hills to Climb". Literally and figuratively. :cool:

maillotpois

03-05-2007, 02:03 PM

Oop! My bad.

"She said she'd try anything once!
(thankfully she waited awhile on this one)"

(the 2nd line is to be added if I leave this plane after I reach 70)

Not "bad" - you were just being too literal. I've come to expect more from you! :p

As for me, I plan to have all the useful parts (if any are left) taken out to be put to use somewhere else, then I would like to be stuffed, and placed above the mantle. Perhaps a sprig of holly over my ear at the holidays.

snapdragen

03-05-2007, 04:56 PM

As for me, I plan to have all the useful parts (if any are left) taken out to be put to use somewhere else, then I would like to be stuffed, and placed above the mantle. Perhaps a sprig of holly over my ear at the holidays.

Oh how festive! And bunny ears at Easter.

Perhaps you should look into freeze drying.:p

KnottedYet

03-05-2007, 05:02 PM

toast me, grind me up, and dump me in North Puget Sound.

I'd rather have one of those memorial benches along some beach walk somewhere.

Maybe with a plaque. Can't think of anything funny enough right now. Gotta have something to do with sitting on your butt and how you gotta sit on it once in a while to really live.

(which is true. If I don't get my spacing-out time, I am Not A Fun Lady To Be With.)

bmccasland

03-05-2007, 05:54 PM

And a Jazz funeral, complete with a second line. Got to love New Orleans jazz processions for any occasion.

lph

03-06-2007, 02:37 AM

I haven't figured out what's going on my headstone (No more hills to climb was good!) but I have put a little thought into what kind of headstone I'd like. As a rock climber, an impossibly steep overhang would be nice, but it would look kind of strange in small scale. Guess I'll have to settle for a perfect granite slab with no holds... Or a vertical rock with a single crack running down the middle :D

Yep, I'm being literal. My brother dying last year made this whole burial thing quite "normal", it's the only given thing with anybodys life, after all.

He ended up with an incredibly inappropriate tall pointed black monolith, in a graveyard covered with sweet and discreet little gray rocks. He sure would have got a kick out of knowing that! :rolleyes:

Bad JuJu

03-06-2007, 04:52 AM

I like this line from Phillip Roth: "The road to hell is paved with works in progress."

I wonder whether you have to get copyright permission to use a quote on your headstone.:D

massbikebabe

03-06-2007, 05:01 AM

I was having these funky symptoms before they finally found that I had a stroke, I think my doctor thought I was crazy!! So I want my tombstone to read,

SEE I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK!!!!

karen

Bikingmomof3

03-06-2007, 06:26 AM

I was having these funky symptoms before they finally found that I had a stroke, I think my doctor thought I was crazy!! So I want my tombstone to read,

SEE I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK!!!!

karen

Karen,
I too had a stroke and always thought, "Now do you believe I was not feeling well" would be appropiate. :p

mimitabby

03-06-2007, 06:35 AM

That makes 3 so far who are saying "see I told you I was sick"
what's that about? do doctors and loved ones not take us seriously enough
when we're HAVING STROKES and heart attacks and stuff?
that's scary too.

roadie gal

03-08-2007, 07:01 AM

I want to donate my carcass to a medical school for the students to learn on. But I'd like a plaque with one of my favorite sayings:

"'Tis a weird, wild clime, that lieth sublime
Out of space and out of time..."

It's by Edgar Allen Poe. It's perfect for me.

snapdragen

03-08-2007, 07:18 AM

I'm with roadie gal, donate the whole shebang to science, give me a plaque on a bench at the zoo or something.

One of my favorites is Jabberwocky, guess I'll need a good sized plaque...

SadieKate

03-08-2007, 07:20 AM

Now if we're talking songs. "On the big rock candy mountain! That's where I like to be. Where the hens lay boiled eggs . . . ."

What's with all the singing today? I haven't even had my coffee.

lizbids

03-08-2007, 05:14 PM

I wish I could be as witty as Dorothy Parker, who would have liked her tombstone to read, "Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment. ..."

But maybe it can be more simple, something like, "The tailwinds have stopped."
:rolleyes:

Trek420

03-08-2007, 06:51 PM

I've signed the little card for organ donation, also on list for bone marrow donation so any parts they want....get 'em while they're hot...or at least luke warm.

After that toast me up, scatter me at a favorite place to be determined later...Sonoma Coastline comes to mind...everyone take a bike ride out to Jenner, quietly off the stairs to Pt. Reyes Light House, or climb Diablo and that way I COULD get to the top....afterward have a wild party and there'd da*n well better be gooood chocolate.

I go for the bench or picnic table.

Choice of

"if you can read this, why aren't you riding?" or

"Don't die wondering"

mimitabby

03-08-2007, 07:02 PM

..everyone take a bike ride out to Jenner, quietly off the stairs to Pt. Reyes Light House, or climb Diablo and that way I COULD get to the top....afterward have a wild party and there'd da*n well better be gooood chocolate.

"

GOOD idea!!

Trek420

03-08-2007, 07:08 PM

Yeah, but no rush. don't sound so enthusiastic ;) :rolleyes: :cool: I've been to one memorial with a rolling escort to the service, no hurry for mine.

How about we all have to ride the persons age to the party? The Trek Memorial Century.

Trek420

03-08-2007, 07:16 PM

Maybe with a plaque. Can't think of anything funny enough right now. Gotta have something to do with sitting on your butt and how you gotta sit on it once in a while to really live.

(which is true. If I don't get my spacing-out time, I am Not A Fun Lady To Be With.)

How about this poem:

Butt prints in the sand

One night I had a wondrous dream, One set of footprints there was seen,
The footprints of the Goddess they were, But mine were not along the shore.

But then some stranger prints appeared, and I asked Her, "What have we here?
These prints are large and round and neat, But much too big to be from feet."

"My child," She said in somber tones, "For miles I carried you alone.
I challenged you to walk in faith, But you refused and made me wait."

"You would not learn, you would not grow, The walk of faith, you would not know,
So I got tired, I got fed up, And there I dropped you on your butt.

"Because in life, there comes a time When one must fight, and one must climb,
When one must rise and take a stand, Or leave their butt prints in the sand."