For all you spelling/grammar police...

[bouncybouncy]

...you know who you are!!!

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling, by Mark Twain:
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

[Geonz]

... but we'd lose nuances of derivation. I *hate* it when I've lost my nuances of derivation, almost as much as I hate losing my keys...

[HillSlugger]

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

Yes, that's much better! :eek:

[7rider]

...Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

OUCH!

I think I just hurt something!

[Wahine]

I love it. Thanks for posting.:D

[Dianyla]

Ahhhh! Where's my eye-bleach?! :p

[East Hill]

Aren't we actually close to being at this point, what with txtspk and l33t?

:D

Or is that

:mad:

East Hill

[crazycanuck]

What's l33t?

[Geonz]

Yup, I think UR right - even more right than Mr. Clemens. We R ther.

There's this discussion on my college-tutors list about "is there correct English or not?" and finally somebody brought up the inherent difference between an prescriptive and descriptive approach to language. They're still batting back and forth whether or not asking for "standard" English degrades anybody who didn't grow up speaking it.

[bikerchick68]

this is great! I'm gonna go torment my newspaper editor friend with it...:D

[run it, ride it]

1337, or "leet" is short for 31337, or "elite." It's hax0r05pee|< ("hacker speak").

n its tru, txt abrvs r ttlly tkng ovr. Vwls? Dnt nd vwls whn thr r prfctl gd cnsnts.

[Kitsune06]

OMFG! l337 FTW! H4xx0rz un173! :p

[lph]

OMFG! l337 FTW! H4xx0rz un173! :p

Oh come on. You're just doing that to make me feel old.

:D

(Actually, I have most of the abbreviations down pat, after way too much time spent on net forums when I was a student. But not l337.)

[run it, ride it]

1ph, u \/\/1|| |3ar|\| 500|\| 3|\|0ugh

[crazycanuck]

:confused:

I'm too old to understand :o

C

[pansypalmetto]

A "friend" actually snatched her cell phone out of my hands because I was "dialing" it Too Slow! Hey, I've got peripheral neuropathy, cut me some slack. God save me from text messaging gagogrammaticalness! And if you are going to continue this thread you MUST include translations for the text impaired. Please.

[Zen]

Many times I'd like to snatch the cell phone from someone only to smash it to smithereens with a hammer. But i can't afford the lawyer.

[Geonz]

We will learn soon enough, eh? (my attempted translation... Just guessing... (I'm a tad hyperlexic myself...) but I know *why* broccoli has the double c and single l :)

[Zen]

Nah, I just hate the general overuse of cell phones .

[bmccasland]

but I know *why* broccoli has the double c and single l :)

I'll bite :D
Why does broccoli have 2c's and only one l?

[Zen]

Not sure but the double L would change the O sound.
don't you love english?

[Geonz]

generally, a syllable ending in a vowel (co- ) has a long sound (so, that's right, doubling the "l" would make it "collie,") and a syllable ending in a consonant (broc- ) has a short sound.
Now, when you have rob-in then by those rules you break the syllable after the b so that you can say "that's why it's a short vowel sound," and it's not as common as robot or rabbit (double letter - short vowel, single letter- long vowel).

[mimitabby]

but Geonz, Broccoli is an Italian word borrowed by the English.


and the answer in Italian is this. EVERY letter is pronounced so it's
BROC'- CO - LI

now, if it was Broc-ol-li it would sound very different.

[Zen]

but Geonz, Broccoli is an Italian word borrowed by the English.

I bet some people would like to give it back :D