Funny! The truths of being a Bike Geek!!

[Batbike]

You Know You're a Real Bicyclist When....

Admit it: there is a mindset, a group of assumptions, and a whole set of experiences that set a "cyclist" apart from the vast majority of the populace that just rides a bike. There are the serious things, like an understanding of vehicular cycling, and the mundane things, like knowing where the good places to lock a bike are. Here are the amusing things that make us laugh at ourselves, and give those tell-tale hints that maybe, just maybe, you are a Bike Geek!!

1. You think that working on your bike is almost as much fun as riding it

2. At some point you caught yourself wondering if your bike might look good if you added fenders

3. You discover that you have forgotten to remove your reflective ankle straps hours after you have arrived somewhere by bicycle

4. You would recognize that threaded washer from a Presta valve stem anywhere

5. You KNOW what a Presta valve is

6. You make decisions about car purchases based on which one more easily accepts a rooftop bicycle rack

7. You skip that last beer because there is a group ride the next morning

8. You own any kind of purple annodized bicycle accessory

9. Colorado Cyclist sent you a Christmas card last year

10. Your bicycle(s) are worth more than your automobile

11. You know what the difference is between Ultrasensor, Core-Tech, and Microfiber jersey materials

12. "Once you try bibs, baby, you'll never go back!"

13. You can tell your significant other with a straight face that its too hot to mow the lawn then take off and ride a century.

14. Your bike rack and attachments are worth more than your car.

15. You pull up hard on the steering wheel trying to jump your car over a pot-hole

16, The first thing you ask when you regain consciousness is "How's my bike?"

17. You actually move farther from work so your bike commute will be longer.

18. You take a perverse pride in your mid-thigh and mid-bicep tan lines, and even more in that funny little circle on the back of your hand

19. Your learn you have some money left over after paying bills and the first thing you do is reach for the nearest bicycling catalog

20. Most of the tools you own are made by Park or Blackburn

21. Someone in a car asks for directions and you give them a route that bypasses freeways and busy surface streets

[VeloChick]

4. You would recognize that threaded washer from a Presta valve stem anywhere

6. You make decisions about car purchases based on which one more easily accepts a rooftop bicycle rack

Oh my. I resemble these 2! :D

[Bluetree]

13. You can tell your significant other with a straight face that its too hot to mow the lawn then take off and ride a century.

LOL :D

[teigyr]

I actually bought the car I own because I can fit my bike IN the car!

And the tan lines...I worked hard for those!

My husband just got a bike two weeks ago and he is new to cycling (two weeks new, as a matter of fact!). Last week we were in the car driving. He slowed down, looked down a street, then proceeded to turn and drive down the street. I asked him what was up and he said "This would be a great street to ride on, I wish we had the bikes!" He is now also very quick to notice bike trails on streets that he has driven on for the past 30 years. It's great!

[mimitabby]

It was really funny last week transporting DH's new bike (too many $$$$ !) and my bike (worth about 1 k) on my car now blue book valued at 800 dollars.

:D

[7rider]

15. You pull up hard on the steering wheel trying to jump your car over a pot-hole




Oh, boy. I've done this one more than I care to admit! :rolleyes:
Oops. Did I just admit that???

[East Hill]

You Know You're a Real Bicyclist When... 8. You own any kind of purple annodized bicycle accessory

You know, I just gave away two purple anodised water bottle cages because they CLASHED with my bikes.

Does this mean I'm not a true cyclist :confused: ?


East Hill

[DebW]

You Know You're a Real Bicyclist When....

1. You think that working on your bike is almost as much fun as riding it

20. Most of the tools you own are made by Park or Blackburn


I resemble these two. Don't forget the Bicycle Research tools. I've even got a Campy pedal/fixed cup wrench and a 15 mm peanutbutter knife (ie. crank bolt wrench).

[equus123]

i thought it was hysterical one time after a long group ride. i was driving home half dazed when....in driving past a branch on the side of my lane, i (and actually did it) pointed down all assertively as i drove past because it came up kinda quick, surprised me, and that was my immediate reaction.

very sad....but very true. lol

[Geonz]

You know, I just gave away two purple anodised water bottle cages because they CLASHED with my bikes.

Does this mean I'm not a true cyclist :confused: ?


East Hill

No, you're at even a higher level, because you have gotten past *having* them... now you're *spreading* them around!!!

[Aint Doody]

How about when I'm out walking or cross country skiing, I try to check my mirror and am surprised when it's not there!

[ausgirl]

Numbers 5, 6, 7, 16 & 18. :D

After a crash i'm always more concerned about the bike than myself - road rash heals itself, broken bike frames or bent wheels don't heal themselves. This was of particular concern when i was a poor, broke uni student.

[missymaya]

1,3,4,5,6,11,16,18,19,20,& 21
As I sit here typing I can't wait to get home to put new tires on my commuter and then clean both my "babies" 'til their nice and shiny:D

[wannaduacentury]

LOL :D


I could try that w/ dh and he'd know I was lying. LOL:rolleyes:

[sgtiger]

This thread reminds me of an article I read a couple of weeks ago. It's a follow-up interview with a lottery winner. He spent $65,000 on new bikes but only $14,500 on a car that he picked out because it fit his bike rack well. LOL :D

http://money.cnn.com/2007/02/20/magazines/fortune/lottery_winnings.fortune/index.htm?postversion=2007022807

[Python]

5. You KNOW what a Presta valve is

11. You know what the difference is between Ultrasensor, Core-Tech, and Microfiber jersey materials

16, The first thing you ask when you regain consciousness is "How's my bike?"

19. Your learn you have some money left over after paying bills and the first thing you do is reach for the nearest bicycling catalog



Yep. Definitely:D

[Flybye]

Just had to add one more, not on the original list.....

DH gave me a gift certificate for a massage today because I finished my metric century ride - first ever - what a great DH!!
The massage was glorious, BUT...
You know you are a bike freak when, instead of tipping, you realize that if you saved the five bucks, you might be able to buy something small at the bike shop instead :D :D Won't snitch on whether or not I tipped. Wait, I think I did just snitch.:o

[Python]

Probably what I'd do to LOL :D

[ladyicon]

I have another one to add to that list. You know that you're a true cyclist when your car is paid off, but you are still making payments on your bike. :D This would be me :o

[deena]

My sister sent me this list (not sure where it's lifted from):

• You know every traffic light sequence in the tri-county area for stop free pedaling.

• Either it's a Brooks saddle or I will stand and pedal the whole way, thank you.

• You own/wear more tights than a children's theater group performing Peter Pan.

• You have eaten pasta directly out of your front bag, while pedaling.

• You have higher quality, up-to-date intel on bike specs, gear and camping equipment than the staff at your local shop, the sales reps in your community and the editors at national magazines.

• You sport a killer set of bodybuilder quads and a pair of angel hair pasta thin arms. That ten year old boy called again. He wants his biceps back.

• You don't hate drivers as much as pity them in their steel cages, surrounded by shock jock rhetoric and their vague anger over how it came to this.

• You think about each hill as a cyclist, even when you are driving in a car.

• You calculate distances between cities by how long it would take by bike. ( 21 bike days from St. Petersburg to St. Louis)

• You know how many miles you rode last night, last week, last year.

• You don't find it over sharing to tell people you just met how many miles you rode last night, last week, last year.

• You have a Biker's Tan. (bottom 2 /3 of your legs, lower 1/2 your arms, and two little circles on the tops of your hands)

• You get sad when your Biker's Tan fades.

• You have nothing good to say about logging trucks or RVs with living fossils behind the wheel, or anything sporting wide mirrors.

• You have lost feeling in your hands, neck and groin for substantial periods of time, but still you consider it the fair price of doing business on two wheels.

• You have far too many photos of yourself on or around your bicycle next to signs at the top of mountain passes, Welcome To So and So State, National

Park entrances, starting lines of bike rides, historic sites, and in front of bicycle shops.

• You've lost sleep over the trailer vs pannier debate - of course you own both.

• You can't bring yourself to recycle any magazine remotely related to cycling. (Bicycling, Adventure Cyclist, Dirt Rag, Bike, even that issue of GQ where Al Gore was on a bike)

• You've given your bike a nickname.

• You've used that nickname out loud... in mixed company, and felt no shame or embarrassment. Some of us aren't so brave.

• You lift your butt off the car seat as you go over potholes, railroad tracks and speed bumps.

• You turn the air vents of your car to blow directly into your face and imagine you are on a bike ride.

• You own a pile of lightweight stuff that has multiple uses, and you've tested all of them in real life situations.

• You have enough funny/scary animals chasing me stories to close a bar of rowdy Irishmen or outlast a windbag uncle at the family reunion. (note: No windbag uncle? Hmm, could it be you)

• You've slept in a church, playground, cemetery, farm pasture, yurt and jail (voluntarily?) beside you bicycle.

• You know the other definition of Critical Mass.

• You are an expert at spotting thunderstorms, tornados, windstorms, marauding cattle and ice cream stands from a distance.

• You have been caught in a thunderstorm while still in the saddle blinking away water and grinning all the way home.

• You check your helmet mirror for what's behind you even when you are off the bike and not wearing it.

• You hate headwinds, hills and trucks parked on the shoulder of any descent.

• You secretly love headwinds and hills, but those trucks parked on the shoulder of any descent are the work of an angry god.

• You forget, much like a woman after childbirth, all the pain, headwinds, humidity and hills within days of a long ride, and start dreaming about the next.

• You have coachroached: bonking so badly that you have to lie on your back, pull your arms and legs tight and spasm your legs into the air to relive the

cramps. Take a picture of that sometime.

• You can say "My bicycle has been stolen!" in six different languages.

• Your bike is more expensive than your car. (if you even own one)

• You never ask anyone in a car if the road you are on has "hills" or "climbs".

• You wave to drivers with bike racks.

• You have convinced yourself and others that protein bars are tasty. Here, try the coffee, banana, peanut butter sundae ones, they're the best.

• You have tested your hypothermic limits and found that these can be expanded with pedal speed, layering and hot cocoa.

• Your first question upon regaining consciousness, "Is my bike alright?"

• You agree with the statement; "If everything feels in control, you just aren't going fast enough."

[Melalvai]

That is from the Metal Cowboy's site.
http://http://metalcowboy.com/blog/?p=30
I am a huge fan, his books are so funny, I'm not above being a small commercial for him. :) He rode across America with his 2 sons (5 & 7 yrs) and wrote a book about it, his other 2 books (one out of print) are about his bicycling on various continents.

[CR400]

Oh, I thought of one the other day. You know you are a bike geek when you can answer average speed, how long it will take to get to point a, and how long will it take to catch someone and you never could before.
Also you know off the top of your head these numbers
6min mile is 10mph
5min mile is 12mph
4min mile is 13mph
3min mile is 20mph
2min mile is 30mph

And the real geeks know the 30 and 15 second incrment averages.